Holiday Weekend Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
So: I am not usually a tarot card kind of person, but a friend of mine on Facebook posted about how she was using them as journaling prompts — and these tarot cards looked so stunningly beautiful I figured, HEY, why not, especially for $18.
They arrived two months ago, and I must say they're absolutely lovely — the cards are nice and sturdy (shuffling is kind of difficult, actually), the illustrations are gorgeous, and there's something kind of peaceful about laying the cards and getting introspective.
There's an included little book that tells you different ways to lay the cards (I've just been doing the basic 4-card lay), as well as how to interpret each card — every time I've done it, whether for myself or as a lark for a friend or family member, it's given us a lot of food for thought on how we might interpret the cards. After all, it's kind of revealing what you think it means when the cards talk about “a new journey” or whatnot.
(While we're talking about journals, isn't this little Washi tape set cool if you're bullet journaling on paper? Love the easy months/days/check boxes… )
Happy (long) weekend, all!
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Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- My workload is vastly exceeding my capability — what should I do?
- Why is there generational resentment regarding housing? (See also)
- What colors should I wear with a deep green sweater dress?
- How do you celebrate milestone birthdays?
- How do you account for one-time expenses in your monthly budget?
- If I'm just starting to feel sick from the flu, do I want Tamilfu?
- when to toss old clothes of a different size
- a list of political actions to take right now
- ways to increase your intelligence
- what to wear when getting sworn in as a judge (congrats, reader!)
- how to break into teaching as a second career
Experienced lawyer: How do you stop worrying about making mistakes/overseeing things?
I started working as a first year associate this fall and I am constantly worrying about making mistakes in my work product that will hurt our clients. When I was a summer associate I knew that other people would supervise and double check my work but now there is less oversight and the responsibility is kind of freaking me out.
Will I just get over this eventually? Any advice would be appreciated.
Yes, you’ll get over it! Often, by making a mistake and realizing the world didn’t end. :) In the meantime, think critically and carefully about your tasks, double and triple check your work, set up checklists and other reminders of tasks you need to do for every document or forget, and then try to relax.
I use the 10-10-10 approach. I ask myself, will it matter in 10 days, 10 months, 10 years? Then, I try to think of the thing at work that had me so stressed out 10 months ago. Often, I cannot remember and then think, “this too shall pass.”
I haven’t heard of the 10-10-10 approach, but I love that!
Everybody makes mistakes, and my best advice is this: Own your mistakes and whatever you do, don’t try to cover them up. Almost always, when somebody gets in trouble, it’s not for the original misstep, but for the coverup.
This is great advice. Be transparent with your supervisors about issues/mistakes. So many things are fixable, too!
This fear and conscientiousness will lead you to produce quality work, which is good in some ways when you are learning. Just don’t be too hard on yourself.
this is called The Fear and is part of the learning process. For now, checklists are your friend.
Checklists, checklists, checklists! . I have multiple ones of them that have been built out over the years as I have made mistakes and am trying to not do make the same one again. But you will make mistakes, your heart will drop into your stomach, but you will be ok. Own it and try to not do it again.
This thread is so applicable to medicine as well. As I transitioned from medical residency to a fellow/attending, I felt exactly like the OP. I talked about it with a senior doc who was outstanding and cool as ice. He looked at me seriously and said “Fear makes you a better doctor”. So true. But a rough way to live.
Yes, you will. Do not worry, we all mistakes and we continue to do so b/c we are all human. You just have to be thoughtful on the issues and then consider what your manageing partner will do if you do make an error. Hopefully, this will not happen to often, but when it does, make sure you are very apologetic and remorsful. That is how I have worked it so far and I am a partner.
I remember my worst mistake was giving my manageing partner a copy of a PowerPoint presentation that he needed for teaching a CLE on WC. I found the presentation on the web, in MS PowerPoint format, and I tailored it to fit what he wanted without a lot of trouble.
Unfortunately the name of the firm who wrote it was in the footer of the PowerPoint, which was NOT visible when I found it on the web and thenmodified it on screen. I made the mistake of not printing it out before I sent it to the manageing partner who then sent it to the Bar Association.
It was only after he started the CLE and was going over the pages that the name of the firm (some outfit in the midwest somewhere) showed up at the bottom. They asked about it and he had no answer. After the meeting, he asked me why I had that name on my slides. I told him, and apologized, but said he should have printed it out and gone over it with me before he sent it to the Bar Association. He agreed, and was not mad at me as much as he was at himself. So you see, we ALL make errors and learn from it the next time. Now, I always print out things before sending it out to the manageing partner or opposing council. YAY!!!
Looking for lunch ideas for my SO – he’s tired of turkey sandwiches. He does construction, so he packs his lunch in a soft cooler with ice packs, and he usually has no way to reheat things. Any non-sandwich ideas that fit those stipulations would be greatly appreciated!
Pita and bean dip with a side of something high cal like cheese or sausage? Not sure his caloric needs but construction is a lot.
Lol this is from Curious :)
Hey, Curious – best wishes from Canada!!!
Growing up my sister refused to eat sandwiches for lunch – my mom used to pack heavy soups like chilli or pasta in a thermos. It wasn’t always hot, but it was pretty warm at lunch time.
can he mix up the sandwiches? Maybe get some more interesting rolls? My current favorite is Italian roast pork & sharp cheese on a pretzel roll #philly
or- tortillas with lettuce and a few of those flavored tuna salad pouches (assemble into a wrap when ready to eat so it doesn’t get soggy)?
Salad, pasta salad, quinoa salad. Soup or chili in a thermos.
Pasta/grain salad.
Hearty soup in thermos (or meatballs or whatever else).
Hand pie.
Wraps.
I usually just do a bowl of protein + grain + vegetables. I vary it up with different marinades/spices on the protein, sauces, or toppings. I have access to a fridge/microwave au work but never use it: I take it out of the fridge in the AM and then it comes to room temp while I’m working and I eat around 2pm (usually out of fridge from 8-2 without issue).
I like pasta salads. I don’t eat meat, so I usually add chickpeas or white beans, misc. veggies, and a dressing (pesto or a vinaigrette- I like the recipe for Tomato Basil Vinaigrette on Budget Bytes which is for a broccoli pasta salad).
I like pasta salads made with chickpea pasta, which ups the protein content!
Try a hardy grain salad (wild rice and edamame is my favorite), or keep hot soups/pastas in a thermos, or switch it up on the sandwiches. Here are some that I rotate through to mix it up.
• Salami, mozzarella, roasted red pepper, spinach
• Ham, cheese, arugula, apple
• Turkey, smoked gouda, cherry peppers or pickled red onion
• Bacon, tomato, avocado, lettuce
• Hummus, something pickled (cucumber, olive salad, sundried tomato tapenade), tomato, onion, shredded carrots, greens, cheese (optional) – you really have to dry these ingredients to prevent sogginess.
I keep this as a list for when I get stuck and forget my options.
Hearty, not hardy.
My 8 year old “doesn’t like sandwiches.” What that means is she doesn’t like plain Turkey sandwiches or PB&J. She does like wraps like bacon, lettuce, avocado; she loves chicken salad with walnuts. Roast beef with sauerkraut on (seedless) rye. Hot pastrami if at home. A thermos with leftovers (pad Thai and chili are faves esp because I pack chips for dipping in chili). She doesn’t like soup bc it can be sloppy to eat at school.
what you want is either a Thermos or a stackable bento-style lunch box like the Zojirushi — then you could make a ton of pre-heated foods (stirfry, rice, soups, meatballs, pasta, whatever). Thermos = hot soup, warm oatmeal.
failing that: cold pizza… PBJ… some of the lunchable-type things for grownups with nuts and cheese.
Meatloaf sandwich, cold fried chicken, chili dogs, chicken salad
I really like cold lasagna, pizza and moussaka, so those kinds of leftovers would be a hit for me.
Wraps can feel different from sandwiches, I like avocado and fried egg, chicken and apple salad or feta and roasted pepper wraps, aside from normal burrito, breakfast burrito etc.
Italian or Spanish frittata or tortilla omelet is great cold.Quiche is great cold.
Lentil, bean or chickpea salad with lots of hardy veg, like cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, carrot, or beets for crunch.
Cornish pasties.
Onion and cheese pie.
Chili in a thermos with a separate container of rice.
Sausage rolls.
Pasta salad including some protein.
Potato salad including some protein and extra vegetables
Scotch eggs.
Devilled eggs with rolls..
Word to the wise… A psychic got personally identifiable info out of my relative for like half our family. Keep tarot to home or watch what info you give!
That is bananas!! Also feels like a story waiting to happen.
Question – how can you prevent this? Relatives know birthdays, addresses, other personal info and you can’t stop them from sharing it because “it’s just fun” or “no big deal” or “you’re just a killjoy.”
This is me, getting furious with relatives who insist on using DNA databases.
I have helped solve adoption cases via DNA and I’m interested in the forensic genetic genealogy (such as Cece Moore / Paragon). As you well know, the only way they can use your DNA to help track down killlers or identify John/Jane Does is if you submit your DNA to Gedmatch and/or FTDNA and give permission. They can’t do it from Ancestry or 23andme, but a lot of people mistakenly think otherwise.
I don’t know, but now I know not to do it myself? And I have my credit frozen, which is probably just good practice anyway.
You’ve got to do your due diligence on the psychic. Ask for lottery numbers or something to vet them before handing over your digits, etc.
This is excellent advice
:-D
That is hilarious. Love it.
I actually worry less about a psychic. My mom will give info to basically anyone who uses a phone and an authoritative voice. I’ve got her on life lock, have done all the educating and tips I can think of and I still cringe at her willingness to give people info. At Thanksgiving a couple of years ago she invited a couple of people in their front door who claimed to be from a power company they don’t use–in front of me. She isn’t in mental decline or anything–just grew up in a small rural area where you trust everyone and is an order follower to the core.
Does anyone feel like they missed the memo that they were supposed to take today off? I know it’s a long weekend but… I swear, 90% of the people I’ve reached out to today are out of the office.
that’s kind of my favorite kind of work day. Get my own inbox cleared out without interruption :)
It is so quiet that I feel like I am the only one in the building and I have literally zero focus.
Much the opposite. Everyone . . . Everyone! wants something today. And I have had to reject numerous requests to schedule meetings, deadlines, etc. on Monday by stating that it is a federal holiday that I observe. And I live in ATL … a place where this should not be a thing!!
Need to anonymously vent about my SO: the refrigerator was beeping yesterday, so he turned it off.
The end. Did not turn it back on or make plans to get it fixed. I found this out today when I opened it and things were getting warm. In fairness, he meant to try to turn it back on, but forgot…
OMG lol
Nooooooo, lol
In a similar vein, DH put a bottle of coke in the freezer to chill it and forgot about it. Informed me of his error, but did not clean frozen coke out of freezer immediately under theory, it is not going to get worse.
Mine does that constantly, both with Coke and beer. Infuriating.
Also not gonna get better!
Leaving it in a hot car during July in Chicago isn’t pretty either.
Neither is leaving it in a cold car in winter.
My boyfriend and I are discussing engagement rings. For various reasons, we are leaning toward a lab created diamond. Anyone have experience with lab made stones? Anyone choose that and later regret it (for whatever reason)?
I really wanted one (cheap, practical, not a jewelry person). Compromised on a piece from an estate sale that is really cool (my daily driver is a $20 Qalo ring). OTOH, people I know get giant other rings per personal milestones and budget, so you get a do-over as many times as you want. Now that I wash my hands a million times a day, I am glad that if I leave my Qalo ring on the counter, it’s not a full-out panic if I realize that 5 hours later. I cannot have nice things though.
I can confirm as someone who worked at a jewelry store for about 8 years: estate pieces, particularly solitaires, can be much more robust than new jewelry. Light dainty stuff has been on trend for a while now, while older pieces are heavier, sturdier, and have stronger settings. So if you want something that can take a beating, estate is the way to go.
I personally chose an estate piece because I specifically wanted a heart-cut solitaire, and only older pieces use a V-prong for the edge. I didn’t want an open setting that would chip easily.
I also chose a vintage diamond that I bought loose to fit the setting I wanted (I specifically wanted an old european cut instead of a modern round brilliant, so vintage was basically my only option anyway unless I found someone who could do old style cuts on a rough diamond). If you decide to go that route, we got our’s through an appraiser who could source old stones. But as for lab made, in theory there shouldn’t be any difference between lab made and natural, right?
I have both a vintage ring and a moissanite ring – the vintage one is special and gorgeous, but feels a little too fancy for every day (it’s a lot if you see it in person). I tend to wear my moissanite set for running around and travel. I also married later in life so I like having pretty rings and liberally add to my stacks of bands and don’t attach a lot of sentiment to the actual ring. Anyway, I like having options and endorse multiple rings!
I have one from vrai and I love it – another friend has one (don’t know the manufacturer) and has been happy with it as well. It’s gorgeous and seems to have held up just fine? I proudly proclaim that it’s lab made to anyone who asks, but I don’t know that anyone would be able to tell the difference otherwise.
Ok not me but a friend. He and his then fiancée decided on a lab diamond for cost reasons – she wanted a large, perfect stone and they couldn’t afford a mined diamond of that size and quality.
So she gets the ring, they have an engagement dinner with their families together. His parents are modest, frugal low income people. Their reaction to the ring is “it must have been expensive!” He says “actually it’s a lab diamond, so it was reasonable,” then the fiancée’s dad jumps in with “you couldn’t buy my daughter a real diamond?” A classic lose-lose situation.
I don’t know if this answers your question but I couldn’t resist telling the story!
An acquaintance was marrying a wealthy guy from Brazil and moving to Sao Paolo with him. Even though she wasn’t even going to bring her engagement ring to Brazil her dad made it known that he expected her to have a good one. So there’s a $100K ring sitting in a safe deposit box somewhere around NY now.
Gross. People are so strange.
I have a 1.3 ct oval moissanite stone and LOVE it. Moissanite isn’t truly measured in carats but it would be. 1.3 ct stone if it was diamond, based on the size. I’ve never once regretted it! It is ethical and was a reasonable cost. It is super durable and looks great. It does refract a bit more color than a diamond, which I find beautiful, but it is so minor I doubt anyone else even notices. No one has even guessed it was anything other than I diamond, and I choose to let people believe that unless they are a good friend asking frankly for details when thinking about their own stone. I wouldn’t change anything if I had it to do over again. Highly recommend.
Lab stones are great! Indistinguishable from natural stones without a microscope, less environmental/human cost, less stress about wearing 2 months paycheck on your hand, and often harder than natural stones.
I wish DH had bought me a ring with a lab stone instead of a natural aquamarine (which has a low softness and can be scratched by steel).
We went with lab created, mostly because of the labor practices and due diligence associated with mined stones. We picked one at Brilliant Earth and are very happy with it 3 years later. Literally no one can tell, and we haven’t told anyone it is lab created.
They are cheaper, but not remotely inexpensive. I think mine was $12k for 2 carats?
That’s about the amount we are coming to with the customizations I like. Thank you for that validation.
That seems like a lot for 2 carats? The lightbox earrings are less than 2k for 2 carats. You can get estate jewelry for much less than 12k I think.
Aren’t earrings noted as total carat weight rather than per-ear? A 2 carat diamond is exponentially more expensive than 2 1-carat diamonds.
Looks like you can get the 2 carat loose stone for a setting for under $2000. I don’t know how much the ring costs but it seems crazy that it would cost $10,000? But I don’t have an engagement ring so I may be missing something.
https://lightboxjewelry.com/collections/lab-grown-loose-diamonds/products/loose-stone-round-brilliant-2-carat-white
Alana, lightbox only recently started carrying 2 carat stones. They haven’t been available at that price for long. Plus, for an engagement ring, one might want to select a higher cut and color than the basic one that they provide. Lightbox doesn’t offer super ideal diamonds.
Wow — to me that is a ton of $. It might be worth checking out vintage. IIRC there are diamond-ish stones from Ross Simons for much less. You may want a big stone, but I have switched to just a simple wedding band b/c my life is too icky to wear anything I might need to scrub crud out of and I just wear the “real” things for date nights (back in 2019 . . .) or going out or for fancy things. I had a funeral this summer and wore a silicon band b/c my hands were swelling in the heat. So think of your life and your budget. And then a jewelry rider on your insurance.
I mean, a 2 carat ring at Tiffany is going to run you like $75K — now that’s for an excellent quality diamond with Tiffany pricing, but $12K in comparison? Not much.
YMMV on wearing your engagement ring. Mine has scarcely left my finger – only icky house projects where it might get damaged.
I LOVE my lab diamond! I got it from Ada Diamonds – not the cheapest but will let you have a ton of customization. They are able to procure a really big selection of stones (I wanted a less common cut, and she got a lot more options than Brilliant Earth), we we designed a custom setting together.
Love my lab diamond, literally forgot it was a lab diamond until you asked today! But it’s also 0.75 carat so not huge.
Mines a lab created sapphire and I love it. Zero regrets. I picked it for ethical reasons that a vintage diamond wouldn’t serve. My ring was also inexpensive (for a custom ring) which makes me feel less worried about losing it.
late add to the vintage tip. great diamonds and settings, friendly to wallet and environment and no one else will have the same thing
I have so much work to do that I will end up spending the entire three-day weekend scrambling to get a deliverable finished. And I KNOW the SMEs who have to approve the project will push the due date back once they realize how unrealistic it is, but I still have to be done by Tuesday. I’m working myself into a lather about it already.
Random Friday trivia to tie together the royals thread and the NC state schools thread:
One of Princess Grace’s grandsons (Stephanie is the mom) went to . . . Western Carolina University.
I have no earthly idea how this came about (or what his last name is), but the world is a wild and wonderful place.
His last name is Ducruet. After his father.
But he does have at least 4 names, so also that.
What is the best way to whiten very sensitive teeth? It’s mostly coffee stains from a lifetime love affair with the stuff. Sometimes I catch a close up glance in good light and am shocked at how many stains there are.
my dentist offers something that’s like $450 but is good for sensitive teeth and a lot better a job than most of the other options — I’m seriously considering it for whenever daily mask-wearing days are behind us.
I use the crest white strips but rather than using them every day for a week straight, I’ll use one and then another one a few weeks later. My teeth are still a little sensitive the next day, but it’s not as bad. Takes a little longer to see results, but better than nothing!
Professional cleaning?
Coffee stains should be easy to remove during regular dental cleaning at hygienist office. If you need more power, then I would ask the hygienist or dentist to make you a Philips Zoom set for at-home night use. I had the lowest concentration and used it for 2 weeks (with days off, to prevent painful states). I would wait until there is a zero chance of freezing weather. I made sure to use a good toothpaste for sensitive teeth before, during and after whitening. I used it instead of my normal toothpaste during brushing and applied a layer over teeth after brushing.
I used the crest sensitive strips and they were great. They didn’t hurt, and I felt they did a lot. In comparison, the regular white strips are too painful for me.
Low investment to try it.
Have you tried the tray with whitening gel from your dentist? White strips hurt my sensitive teeth but this works much better for me. Plus now that I have the trays, I can just get more gel relatively cheaply anytime I want a refresh.
I use Sensodyne whitening toothpaste most of the time. Once a month, for 2- 3 days, I switch over and blast my teeth with a high-powered version of Colgate Optic White. It’s startling how well just whitening toothpastes can work these days.
Coffee stains shouldn’t be hard to remove. What I did unfortunately was wear off enamel so what I thought were coffee stains were the root of my teeth (which is the same color). Now I need some work done.
This is scary. Now I wonder if I have done the same.
what desserts do you have Strong Opinions about? mine: brownies should be fudgey, not cakey, and frosting is unnecessary.
+1 for fudgey brownies, my only other request is that oatmeal raisin cookies be clearly announced as such so that I don’t bite into it expecting chocolate chips.
I don’t care what Elmo says, oatmeal raisin cookies are so gross that they should only be served to pet rocks.
Ha! See my reply, below! Virtually fist-bumping you in solidarity.
Raisins are an abomination and Do Not Belong in carrot cake. (Or anything else, for that matter.)
+1,000,000
Sing it!
Peanut butter in dessert is a war crime, particularly when there is chocolate involved. Peanut butter should be salty, not sweet.
To each their own. I will only eat chocolate if it had peanut butter with it. Otherwise, I will pick any other dessert over eating chocolate (But, if fairness, would probably maybe pick chocolate over nothing)
You are my people! Chocolate and peanut butter ruins two good things, in my opinion. And Reese’s feel like sand in my teeth.
THANK. YOU.
Chocolate chip cookies should come in one option only: soft and gooey.
You have to add pudding mix!
ooh please tell me more about this! you just…toss a box of pudding mix in when you’re making the cookie dough?
Recipe I use (and win every picnic or potluck award with):
Ingredients:
4.5 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking soda
2 cups butter, softened
1.5 cups packed brown sugar
0.5 cup white sugar
2 packages (3.4 ounces each) instant vanilla pudding mix
4 eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
4 cups semisweet chocolate chips
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 F. Sift together flour and baking soda, set aside.
2. Cream together butter, brown sugar, and white sugar. Beat in pudding mix until blended. Stir in eggs and vanilla. Blend in flour mixture. Stir in chocolate chips. Drop rounded spoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets.
3. Bake for 8.5 minutes in preheated oven until edges are golden brown.
My personal notes from experience:
1. Let butter and eggs come up to room temperature naturally (do not microwave butter).
2. Always do a set of 5 test cookies (on four corners of the tray and the center) to check for oven consistency.
3. A few minutes in the freezer will make scooping the dough easier.
4. Depending on your oven and the dough spread, adding the chips by hand after dropping the dough onto the sheet may give you better results. This is affected by the butter and eggs you choose (including yolk size), plus whether you use light or dark brown sugar (more or less molasses).
Mind. blown.
Nuts have no business in dessert. The texture is an interruption. Almond flavor, fine. Great, even.
There is literally no reason it’s carrot “cake” and zucchini “bread”. They’re the same product, just different base flavors.
Dulce de leche is sickly sweet and gross.
Especially when used in a layer cake instead of a nice buttercream frosting (see my MIL).
Pound cake is also a breakfast food. Toasted; perhaps with strawberry jam.
Cupcakes are pointless.
Chocolate chip cookies are boring. I don’t know why people are so obsessed with them.
Death by Chocolate-type desserts should … die. Eat a candy bar if all you want is chocolate.
I have several-
The Middle brownie is ALWAYS better than edge brownie. I Hate the edges.
Cookies, cakes, brownies, ice cream etc. are no place for nuts to be. Nuts are only acceptable as dessert in baklava.
Cake is superior to frosting, and frosting is usually unnecessary.
Edge brownies. We would be a good team.
Edge brownies 4evah!
Agree. I do not understand the weird pans designed so all the brownies have 4 edges.
Fondant icing tastes like fish.
Cake pops are gross.
Buttercream is disgusting and I do not understand it’s dominance over other forms of superior frosting (cream cheese, ganache, 7 minute, etc.).
Also hard agree on oatmeal raisin cookies only being good for pet rocks. I WILL say that adding whole oats to a chocolate chip cookie recipe along with sour cherries is *chefs kiss* and it has fruit and oats, so, it’s healthy right?!?
Don’t lump American buttercream with the more appealing (to me) Swiss, French and Italian buttercreams. They are night and day different.
What’s the difference? Do you have recipes? TIA!
Seconding, very intrigued and looking to up my frosting game.
There’s an article on Serious Eats about the various types of buttercreams, including American, Swiss, French, Italian and German, with recipes for all of them.
Chocolate and fruit do not belong together.
Fellow fudgey brownie lover, giving props to the Silver Palate brownie recipe. Delicious, easy, fast. Do not overbake and cut in tiny squares because these are rich.
Pro tip: refrigerate or freeze for an hour or so and these are much easier to cut. In fact, I keep mine in the freezer and just grab one or two as needed.
The frosting and cake textures should be harmonious. Ganache as a frosting is only appropriate on dense, sturdy cake; similarly, a light sponge needs a very fluffy, light frosting (swiss meringue buttercream, for example). I get really annoyed if there’s a mismatch.
Never had the words for this before, but YES.
More almond extract. No, more.
Ice creams with lemon curd in are godly and unfairly ignored.
You can have all my almond extract forever, Vicky. But I will fight you for the curd :)
Get the f^*+ out of my house with that banana cream pie.
I will die on this hill
I hate banana everything unless it’s an actual banana, and even then the proper eating window is about 12 hours long. They’re the avocado of fruit.
When I read your comment, I thought I had had a stroke and forgot that I commented already. This is literally word for word what I would have said in repsonse!
I hate banana everything, unless it’s an actual banana, and even then the proper eating window is about 12 hours long. It’s the avocado of fruit.
I will always prefer a starter to dessert. Not enjoying dessert generally evokes Very Strong Opinions from others, and I’m over it.
But for actual desserts – please nothing with mousse, cream cheese, cream or chocolate. The absolute worst would be a chocolate mousse cheese cake with an Oreo cracker layer.
Just give me a some cheese, some fruit or a piece of shortbread and I’m happy. Or maybe a barely sweet panna cotta with some berries, if it has to be a dessert.
Brownies should not exist.
Chocolate-based desserts are for children and sick people whose taste buds are not functioning but who need comfort.
Blasphemy! You must never have had desserts made with high quality chocolate.
Whatever dessert it is, the right liquor will make it better.
Dessert should never taste like flowers. Lavender? Elderflower? Roses? Get out of my dessert.
Every day this week I’ve worked myself into a ball of stress/had an internal meltdown about fairly minor work issues. I am a slightly anxious person in general but this isn’t typical for me. Any tips or resources for building up emotional resiliency/keeping my brain from catastrophizing?
Is there an external cause or other stressor this week? Usually if I am melting down over minor work issues there is something else adding to it, even generalized burnout. I wouldn’t jump to thinking you aren’t resilient unless this happens frequently. Can you unplug this weekend, do something not touching your work life like a nice walk? You might just need down time.
+1. Walk, tea, nature, yoga, tears. Hugs to you from this internet stranger if you want them
Cardio. Sleep. Good nutrition (especially if you’re in your 40s – fiber & anti-inflammatory foods help steady the hormones).
Has anyone ever backed out of a job prior to starting but after accepting the offer? I posted a little about this earlier, but basically I decided to take a job that I was very excited about and gave notice at my current job. Since accepting, there have been a few concerning things happen involving the new place. Maybe not red flags but definitely yellow. I’m not sure whether it’s better to start and hope they are just communication issues or back out now.
I do have other options, including a couple of leads on other positions as well as potentially just taking some time off to look for something else. But I hate the idea of backing out and was so excited about this until things started feeling a little bit — off. I’m very torn.
It’s hard to give advice without knowing what the yellow flags are.
Found out about some significant changes at the company when they were announced publicly just a few days after I took the job. It’s a really small place so I’m finding it uncomfortable that they didn’t (and still haven’t) mentioned it to me at all.
Also, the owner gave me some incorrect information that put me in a stressful and uncomfortable situation. Got it worked out eventually, but it was honestly a little weird – and I was bothered by the tone of the initial email when I raised the issue.
Do the significant changes impact your role? And your second paragraph is really too vague to make inferences about.
How good are your instincts? If your intuition is good and screaming at you, consider backing out and staying at your current job. However, if you are prone to making rash decisions or blowing things out of proportion, go to the new company.
How hard would it be to get a new job if the new company is a disaster?
Yes, and I don’t regret it. The way they reacted when I backed out was the final straw. This was early in my career (so, 1998-1999) and TBH now I couldn’t even tell you the name of the place. It’s a non-issue.
In my case, it became clearer over multiple conversations that they wanted a secretary but were pretending that it was a copywriting-marketing job. Lots of talk about wearing many hats and pitching in, but a definite Mad Men feeling that they were all Company Men and I was being hired to have b00bs and sit at the front desk. Misogynistic jokes and side comments during the building tour, dismissal of my concerns as trivial, etc. When I pulled out via phone call, they basically threatened me, saying I’d be “lucky to find someone else once word got out”.
I did! I found out the new employer’s maternity leave offering was terrible, and that I was 6 weeks pregnant! Before trying to back out you should be 100% sure you will be able to stay at your current job, otherwise you could end up out a job with two bridges burned…
Yes, I did it with my first job out of law school. My husband and I were going to move to a smaller town a couple of hours outside of L.A., and I accepted a job there. When push came to shove he just couldn’t leave his job of many years, so I had to rescind my acceptance. I can still remember the guy’s response: “I hope you don’t expect me to be gracious and understanding about this, because I’m not.” Ouch. Anyway, it was the right decision even though it was kind of awful at the time. Fortunately I had summered at a huge firm and was able to belatedly accept their offer (it wasn’t a good fit and I left shortly thereafter, but at least it was a place to land upon graduation).
Anyway, I burned my bridges at the original firm and probably in that whole town, but it turned out fine.
I did. I got some red flags with the boss pushing me on start date, etc., and then received a demonstrably better job offer from another company. I knew it would hurt my reputation with this company (and likely burn a bridge permanently with them) but ultimately was the right move for me.
If you don’t have something else lined up, are you OK staying in your current job until something opens up? Or did you give notice and you’d be jobless temporarily?
I did, but it was a very different situation from yours – I ended up getting an offer in the intervening period from a different (but very similar in terms of work) govt agency that would save me 30 minutes in commute time (each way). The pay was actually lower but I HATE commuting so this was worth it to me. The agency I turned down was incredibly understanding and kind and I’ll always remember that.
Earlier this week, a poster was looking for masks for kids. I just got a notification that maskc has new inventory for KN95 masks, including those for children. I haven’t tried the kids ones myself, but I like the fit of the adult ones, which have also been restocked.
I haven’t bought a magazine in ages. That said, a friend sent me a shot of British Vogue with the nine-model cover and I love the shot. Is there a way I can buy a hard copy in the US? I live and work in agricultural rural areas and haven’t even seen US Vogue in ages. She told me if I bought online it might be a used copy. Would prefer new.
There is a big newsstand a few blocks from my office. I’ll walk over there in a bit and see if they have it and if so I’ll send it to you.
SA, that is very sweet, and one of the reasons everyone here loves you!
That is very kind! I am not the OP, but I see this at the end of Vogue’s story about the cover: “The February 2022 issue of British Vogue is on newsstands on 18 January.”
Yeah I just got back and they carry British Vogue but don’t have this one yet. OP, if you want me to grab one for you, send me your address at seniorattorney1 at gmail.
Thank you!! I will email you.
does anyone have opinions on Lunya? their silk set is following me on social media…
Bit the bullet on the silk set a couple of years ago and love it. I’d tried to satisfy the craving with a cheaper set from another brand first, but should have just bought the Lunya set as I ended up getting it anyway and wear it way more than the other one. The generous cut is super comfy (though a bit overwhelming if you’re on the petite side like me) and the silk does stand up to the washing machine.
Not the silk stuff but I ordered and returned a “cool” set and br@L3tt3 at the beginning of the pandemic. It was all so small and short and tight. For reference, I am 5’3″ and 120lbs but have curvy hip and the shorts were like boy shorts/underw3ar on me! My rear was almost hanging out. I felt like the silk set would have been more drastic given the split hem. I don’t remember the quality being anything particularly extraordinary.
My SIL loves their PJs (but I have no further details)
I really like their Puma Cotton ones, but no experience with the silk.
*Pima. Autocorrect.
Karen Mabon has the best silk PJs.
I got gifted their eye mask and it was glorious and wonderful and then I accidentally washed it on hot and dried it and now it’s weird and lumpy and a continual source of sadness and halfway through writing this post I stopped and went and ordered myself a new one.
Is it poor form to give notice right after receiving your annual bonus? The bonus is earned for past work (actually two years of work because they skipped bonuses last year) but I still feel nervous about close timing.
No – it is expected in a lot of places, so institutionally it likely will not be an issue, though some folks might be in their feelings about it. Just make sure the direct deposit/check has cleared before you give notice.
This!! Be 100% sure the check cleared! I’ve heard of people giving 2 weeks notice expecting to get their bonus but because the check wasn’t actually issued yet, she lost out. If she waited a week and only have 1 week notice she would have been better off financially but of course she didn’t want to burn bridges. Be careful.
In my industry (finance), people quit the day after the money hits their bank account. This is standard and expected and no bridges are burned.
+1 to this. I worked for a F50 where a good 15% of my peer group gave notice as soon as the bonus checks cleared. None of us knew that it was going to be such a mass exodus, we were all just focused on our own job search, but it was a wake up call for the company. Long term, anyway. Short term they just blamed all of us, as usual.
Poor form? Nah, not for you. You earned that money. Says a lot more about the team/manager/role you are leaving.
In law that’s standard practice…
+1. I just did this at my firm about a month ago and no one blinked an eye – in fact the managing partner was super gracious when I gave notice. I still feel slightly guilty about it but I know this is how business works.
I know people in finance who moved their direct deposit to a different account the same day it hit their account, and gave notice that afternoon or the next day. Not extremely common but I’ve seen in 5-6 times. Also a coworker who announced her retirement the day after bonuses in 2020.
I wouldn’t feel nervous about it unless you work with jerks. If you are concerned about burning a bridge or getting a bad/no reference in the future, then wait three weeks.
+1 I’m in finance and this is common knowledge that if someone is leaving, this is how it works. OP you are correct in thinking about this as payment for past work, not future.
+1. It is your bonus for past work.
And it is a very common practice. You leave, when it fits you to leave; and you would be a fool to have left before bonus hit your account.
+1
A few people resign every year the day after bonuses hit bank accounts. Not unusual at all, and the reason that Q1/2 is hiring season. By Q3/4 people are holding on for bonuses to be paid out!
in case you need someone else in the chorus this is 100% expected.
Dumb question, but I’ve never figured this out and I’m 37: what makes a butt look good in jeans? Just got an ad for Frame (plus sizes?!) where everything looks smooshed and flat.
Pockets that are too big and too low will do that. The photos I’m seeing featuring their regular size have that problem. A little angle to the pocket also helps give the illusion of/emphasize round as well. Everything else comes down to fabric and fit. A thicker denim vs a mix with some stretch won’t always curve well either.
Pockets are key. My best pair of jeans has small pockets that are centered on each cheek. My worst jeans have pockets that are wide-set, or the pockets are a severe upside-down trapezoid (narrow base and wide opening), or the pockets are placed on the seat at an angle.
Hmm this is so invidual (I guess it depends on your specific behind). Mine is big and round, and I’ve found that “curvy” fit works really well. Brands that looked best: Gap, Lucky, and currently Loft. The key is a smaller waist with a mid rise hat keeps my belly in, and then a flare out to accommodate booty and hips.
Good fit on waist, hips and thighs are a good start, but for the butt itself: pocket size and placement, and waist or waist band height. What makes a butt look good depends your shape and what you think look nice.
Small butt you want to make bigger? Light wash, small and centered pockets, high waist. Want to make your butt shrink a little? Dark wash, low waist, big pockets. Want to make it look rounder? Medium, slightly wider set pockets, high waist, rounded yoke or shaped waistband.
I hope the hive can help with a bridal shower I, a close friend of the family, am hosting. I am in my mid 60’s, and am finding the tips I can find on line for such showers to be a bit perplexing. There will be 20 guests, all women, about half are friends of the bride and in their late 20’s, and about half are the older generation, aunts, moms, grandmother. It will be from 4-7 pm on a Saturday–I know, odd, but yes. I see on-line that games or crafts are expected. I see no ideas that appeal to me. Also, I see photo backdrops and props for selfies and “posting on the ‘gram.” Well, I am thinking of cocktails and conversation, and maybe a crossword about the bride and groom, a light dinner, opening of gifts, and toasts to the bride. I am thinking of a “written in the stars” theme, and might hire a tarot card reader–or an astrologer–for the shower. I want to create a warm, cozy, fun party, but it may be that I am not familiar with the “showers of today.” The bride indicated that a few games or activities might be nice. So, what advice do you have? Any recent shower attendees have tips? Would a tarot card reader work out in a party of 20? Let me know! and thanks in advance.
This sounds lovely. The only games that are fun at showers are pen and paper guessing games that don’t take much time but give people an icebreaker (think: how did they meet? who said I love you first?)
Some random thoughts-
From 4-7 I would expect drinks and heavy apps, not an organized dinner. Think wine, champagne, charcuterie boards, things that are easy to nibble.
Games – one or two is plenty. One that’s a decent icebreaker is to quiz both bride and groom separately on things (memories, favorites, etc) and then bride has to guess what the groom answered about her, as well as what the groom’s answers were.
A florist or balloon shop could help you with a fun centerpiece or backdrop for photos.
You might ask the bride if she prefers to sit and open gifts or whether it should be a display shower. Personally I found it very awkward to have everyone staring at me while opening and in hindsight should have just mingled more.
So I hate traditional showers and always threw them as parties instead. If you’re all women, my rules are no games, no gift opening, good food and some booze. If you’re forced into a game, I’ve found write advice for the bride and couple trivia the least annoying things and kind of fun with mixed ages. But really just go for a party vibe and it will be fine. I personally like the tarot idea a lot.
Disclaimer: I’m about your age so what do I know? But… it sounds great! Just make sure you do have some kind of themed backdrop for social media selfies, though. People love that.
Oh, and one thing I’ve seen (this was at a wedding but you could also do it at a shower) is for people to write notes to the couple to be opened on a specific anniversary in the future: 1st, 5th, whatever. (They had a polaroid camera and we put the notes in little envelopes with selfies, which I think is a good idea because 10 years later will they even remember the people at their shower?) I think that would fit in beautifully with your tarot card/astrology theme.
I’m in the younger demographic and this sounds excellent!
I did a bridal shower for a late 30s bride who didn’t want any of “that nonsense,” so we had a very nice time doing a wine-themed shower. She didn’t want household stuff as gifts either, so we all got her wine, and I had several nice bottles open. I provided lots of little glasses for tasting, as well as the “heavy apps” someone else described (nothing too fussy, a big cheese plate, nuts, olives, fruit, a crudite platter) followed by a couple of nice tarts from a top local bakery – no frosting, no decoration – and we all had a wonderful time. Having a ride home was key for everyone because the wine tasting was well attended/well served!
Anyone have any insight re: hiring timelines of staff positions at large, state universities? Seeing some postings that are still up from the summer, and curious if I were hired how long the process would take/how much flexibility there would be re: start time (I.e., would they want me to give 2 weeks notice or could I negotiate not starting until June/July when my current contact is up.)
It varies. The process often takes quite a while. I think my hiring took about 2 months total from application to start date and I had a 3 week gap (2 weeks notice + 1 week of vacation) so it was really only about a month from application to offer, but that’s on the quicker side of things. ~3 months from application to offer is not unheard of, especially if you have to go through multiple rounds of interviews. There is likely some room to negotiate start date, but I think asking for a July start date if you apply in January and are hired in ~March/April might be tough. If you’re on a contract, are you currently in an academic position, e.g., postdoc? There may be more flexibility in that situation.
What type of job within the university? There are hiring cycles for certain types of positions (mostly that revolve around an academic cycle) while others are not tethered to that. Start date will be dependent upon what you can negotiate, which will be tied to how short-staffed the university is. In person or remote? Remote can slow the process if there are issues of state or locals law that must be addressed. If you want to provide more specifics, that may help inform the answer.
Thanks for the input. The position would be in student affairs, so staff, not faculty. I’m looking to transition from the public school setting to higher ed, so while I could give notice earlier, I’m hoping to not leave my current school in the lurch.
It’s very rare for hiring to take less than two months from job posting to start date. It’s not at all unheard of to go 4-5 months from posting to even giving out an offer. At the places I’ve worked, jobs usually stay posted until the offer is accepted, so a job still up from last summer is probably still technically open, but might be in the final stages of negotiating an offer.
As for how much time you have between getting an offer and starting a job, this totally depends on the position and how badly they need someone. It’s quite common for faculty to go more than a year before they start, but it’s rare that they can wait too long for a staff position, because the job often has to be empty before they can even post it (at least at the places I’ve worked), and it takes weeks to months to get approval for a posting, which means they’ve already had a job unfilled for quite some time before they even give an offer. However, this depends a lot on how much they want you and what the needs of the job are. There are some jobs with a lot of work focused on the beginning of the academic year and less at the end, and those might be fine to defer until summer. There’s no real way to know until you apply, at which point it often comes up in the interview process or you can ask about it.
Thanks so much! I genuinely appreciate the insight. My only fear is a situation in which I apply, am offered the job, but have to turn it down because they want me to start sooner than June, and end up alienating them. But perhaps if they wanted me, they’d respect that I want to honor my current contract and consider me for further positions?
Also, would it make sense for me to reach out to HR/hiring manager to inquire re: hiring timelines or just either apply or wait until April/May to apply?
For the person asking about Queen Letizia surname. Yes she has two surnames as any other Spanish person. One inherit from her father and another from her mother: Letizia Ortiz (F) Rocasolando (M). the same her husband Felipe de Borbón (F) y Grecia (M).
And as any other Spainsh family they have passed one of their surnames to their children to create the new family, then we have now:
Leornor de Borbón Ortiz and Sofia de Borbón Ortiz.
Other thing are their titles:
Queen Letizia of Spain / King Felipe of Spain (among others)
Leonor Princess of Asturias, Princess of Girona and Princess of Viana (as she is the heir) ( Her Royal Highness The Princess of Asturias)
Sofia Infanta de España. Probably she will receive the title of duchess when she married.
Spanish women do not change their surnames after marriage. Before it was compulsory form men or women to pass your father surname (only in special situations it was allowed to pass your mother) but now the parents choose which one to pass to form the new family surnames.
Midle names are not a thing in Spain and in general only royal family have them (all of them women or men carry on top of a bunch of them “de todos los santos” before the surnames)
ps What it is special regarding Letizia is the Z in the name. At that time (60’s) during the fascist dictadure it was quite difficult in Spain to have a name that does no belong to a Spanish catholic saint. Her parents made the trick in the register convincing the guy there saying that it was in honor of the italian saint.
Yay or nay on 2 column resumes for lawyers? Does it matter if the job you’re applying for is a law firm job or in-house job?
I am vehemently anti two-column anything. I am having a hard time picturing how this would work on a resume tbh
1st column headings and second description takes up a lot of space. Also, I would look online at resume builders. If you don’t set it up well, then the auto scraping tools many talent acquisition folks use won’t jibe and you’ll risk a lot of manual fixing. All that said, I think they are the easiest to read. And I don’t think résumé length matters as much these days.
I hate two-column anything too. It makes it vastly harder to mark up a document when you have to jump up and down. I routinely review resumes for in-house positions and haven’t seen a single one with two columns FWIW.
Agree with everyone else- I hate two column anything. It’s only ever going to make me grouchy to read.
Do you mean first column is the job title, etc. and second (very wide) column is the description? Because I think that makes things a ton easier to read and gives white space. Even if it takes up more space, I think it’s worth it to make the content easier to skim. Your job titles and companies are going to stand out really well that way. If you look online at resume templates, most modern ones are set up this way. I’d try to use one of the templates rather than trying to do on your own t hough. It will be faster to set up, and you’ll you know for certain that it will work well with the HR screeners and auto population systems used with most online application processes.
The only time I’ve seen this work well is for people in UX or graphic design, particularly if the resume is more art than words. It can look really, really slick if you have those skills. Otherwise, you’re just asking for a train wreck of reformatting errors.
Does anyone use peptides in your skin routine? How do you layer them and when? Sounds like you can’t mix them with aha/bha, vitamin C, or retinol, so not sure.
Currently:
Paula’s choice bha (nose only)
Vitamin C
Moisturizer
Sunscreen
Sometimes swap vitC for good genes.
At night retinol, good genes or lancer radiance.