Coffee Break: Shavani Jacket
I don't think I've seen this classic Chanel-style lady jacket on discount before, but Shopbop has it in both white and black, included in their big 25% off sale.
The jacket is $395, but comes to $296 with code HOLIDAY. It's available in sizes 32-44, which is equivalent to 0-12.
Other favorites in the sale include great blazers from Rag & Bone, IRO, Smythe, and select L'Agence (also lots of nice Black Halo dresses).
Some of our latest favorite Chanel-style jackets for work in 2024 include these, but in general check more jacket-y options like Chanel, IRO, L'Agence, and Veronica Beard, as well as more sweater-y options like St. John, ba&sh, and J.Crew. On the budget side of things, check out CeCe, Tuckernuck (XXS-XXL), J.Crew Factory, and Mango. (Also check out our roundup of the best lady jackets for work!) Nordstrom has a bunch in all price points!
Sales of note for 12.5
- Nordstrom – Cyber Monday Deals Extended, up to 60% off thousands of new markdowns — great deals on Natori, Vince, Theory, Boss, Cole Haan, Tory Burch, Rothy's, and Weitzman, as well as gift ideas like Barefoot Dreams and Parachute — Dyson is new to sale, 16-23% off, and 3x points on beauty purchases.
- Ann Taylor – up to 50% off everything
- Banana Republic Factory – up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
- Design Within Reach – 25% off sitewide (including reader-favorite office chairs Herman Miller Aeron and Sayl!) (sale extended)
- Eloquii – up to 60% off select styles
- J.Crew – 1200 styles from $20
- J.Crew Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off $100+
- Macy's – Extra 30% off the best brands and 15% off beauty
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
- Steelcase – 25% off sitewide, including reader-favorite office chairs Leap and Gesture (sale extended)
- Talbots – 40% off your entire purchase and free shipping $125+
Hey, a while back I posted asking for NYC ideas and somebody suggested going to the Metropolitan Opera. Well, we did and it was a big success! We got box seats and got all dressed up and had dinner in the fancy on-site restaurant and it was a BLAST! Thanks so much — we would never have thought of it on our own and it was a highlight of the trip. This place is the best!
Oh that sounds amazing!
My husband and I went to the SF Opera for a 3 show series and by the second show realized we could have dinner right at the War Memorial Opera House. It was so fun! There were definitely tons of “regulars” there.
We didn’t quite splash out for box seats but had very good mid orchestra seats.
I’m so glad you got to experience that!
I’ve been going for years and had no idea! Thanks for the rec!
Love this! If you haven’t been watching Gilded Age, I also enjoyed the relevant plot line.
I swear, we felt like we were pretty darn gilded! ;)
SA, you seem to be having a blast in retirement! I am so happy for you. Please keep posting about your adventures so I can live vicariously through you.
Think I had suggested it (maybe align with other people) and I’m so happy you enjoyed it! I have a modest budget, but get a kick out of being a member and love going (with my teen children) a few times a year. It feels so special and fancy, and the tickets start at only $30 for other folks considering going but worried about the cost.
The styling of this jacket is cracking me up. What a find!
+1 the bandeau is a choice
agree no one would wear it like this but it’s actually helpful to see the trim against her bare skin for contrast. if it was just under black tshirt you wouldn’t be able to see…. details on black clothes are tough online.
But like…white shirts exist.
I always click through to see if they have it in a lighter color so I can see the details.
I worked with a woman who wore this look paired with a high rise pencil skirt to work at a large regional law firm. First job out of college, client-facing non-attorney. When HR reminded her that a bare midriff was prohibitted in the firm dress code, she showed them pictures of how the blazer was styled by the designer “who obviously new better” than attorneys how to dress well.
OMG kids these days!
Ballsy! Dead wrong, but I admire the commitment.
That jacket was all the rage about 10-15 years ago. I bought it then and didn’t love it, the quality wasn’t great.
I posted a while back about needing a potentially pregnancy-friendly dress for a white tie event. Well good news, I’m (very very early and not telling anyone yet) pregnant! Not as good news, I’m exhausted. I’m in bed by 7 pm some nights.
I didn’t end up finding a dress and I haven’t bought tickets for the event yet. We also had hoped that DH could wear his military uniform, but apparently he can’t because there is no white tie appropriate uniform for his rank. We would have to rent or buy a tux with tails. All of this means we are looking at spending over a thousand dollars for an event that I might want to sleep through and not enjoy. Our friends will all be getting super drunk at this event, they’re staying at a nearby hotel, so I’ll also miss out on that part of the experience. AITA if I bow out this year? It’s the first time I’ve been invited so I feel badly to say actually no thanks. But I really don’t want to spend thousand(s) of dollars to fall asleep in my plate. Thoughts?
Given all the circumstances you describe, I’d definitely bow out unless you think it will lead to you not being invited next year or there are some other ramifications. Maybe make up a Very Important Conflicting Family Obligation?
Thanks, I’m close enough friends with the woman who invited me that I would tell her I’m pregnant but please don’t tell anyone. Her husband is a client so I’m not crazy about the idea that he could let it slip to my firm but if he does then oh well. I’m a partner it’s not like they’re going to fire me.
i don’t see why you should feel pressured to go to something you have to pay for. that said, if you would like to go i think your husband would probably be fine in his dress unform– no one is going to stop you at the door and say “hey that’s not white tux military”
I agree with that.
We asked the organizers at a pre-event soirée and they said no, the fanciest dress uniform available for his rank is not appropriate. And apparently they do turn people away at the door. I also think it is BS fwiw.
Another reason not to attend!
I’m confused about this “fanciest uniform available for his rank” thing. I was enlisted, and some people definitely had Mess Dress uniforms as lower enlisted (like E4 and below, because they wore them to our Airman Leadership School graduation). Mess Dress is black/white tie. It has a cumberbund and everything. If he doesn’t want to shell out to buy that uniform, since it’s not one that gets issued to you, fine. But there’s no prohibition on low-rank people wearing fancy uniforms!
aha, I see below this is the event organizers being ridiculous. Carry on!
This. I am a military officer and so is my husband. Mess Kit is black/white tie equivalent. Officers in Canada are required to buy Mess Kit, our version of “enlisted” are not required but many do. Those who do not purchase one are allowed just wear the DEUs (blazer and matching trousers) to Mess Dinners with a bow tie and white shirt, this would not be white tie equivalent. But the Mess Kit is still available.
In any case, congratulations!
Black tie and white tie are different levels of formality and there are correspondingly different versions of mess dress.
Yes, and standard mess kit satisfies both. It’s a long standing know fact in common wealth militaries. Could certainly be different in the US. There aren’t different levels for us; one mess kit can be both black and white tie. There aren’t a “tails” option. It’s just one, thank God because it can cost 2k.
What kind of ridiculous event is this
This is what I want to know!!!
I’d guess it’s affiliated with one of the Military academies based on how an@l the organizer is being about uniforms, no one in the real world cares about rank.
But surely the military does accept its own formal uniforms as formal wear?
How would they even know what the fanciest uniform available to him is?
Permission to bow out granted. The last black tie event I went to I was seated with a pregnant woman and oh my god she ruined the night complaining about the smell of the food, everyone being loud, how she was so tired, etc.
Bow out. Congratulations on your very early pregnancy!
Not TA at all. Being pregnant is enough reason to say no.
Former military here. Every service has a dress uniform. Sometimes they’re not issued and may cost more to buy than a tux rental. Depending on the rank and service, some of the dress uniform pieces are awesome (looking at you, Marine Corps Boat Cloak) and totally worth finding an excuse for him to buy and wear!
I totally agree! The purchase-able best available (winter) dinner dress uniform was one of my retirement presents to him. Unfortunately, the winter dinner dress uniform is a suit style not a tux style at his rank. I mentioned above but we did ask the event organizers and were told no, which I think is total nonsense. The summer dinner dress uniform looks a little bit closer, but it’s out of season and it doesn’t have tails.
Oh good grief… the organizers sound insufferable and by all means bow out. I did military ceremonial stuff as my actual job for years and this is very much a them problem. But also, if he’s of the allowable rank, get the boat cloak :-)
That is SUCH a cool piece of kit. I love it when Navy colleagues wear their summer whites. I am in the Army so just admire them. But we are changing our uniforms and JAG is lobbying for the addition of patrol dress which is rare in Canada and I am all about that! We are getting peaked caps in addition to out standard beret and the new uniform is super old school.
Mess kits don’t have tails but are still universally considered White Tail. It’s not really a question of what it looks like (mine for instance also doesn’t have a cummerbund, but a vest). It’s more like an official designation. Mess Kit = Black or White Tail. In Canada, we have loads of Mess Kits with kilts for Highland regiments. Still White Tail equivalent. It doesn’t really help you in this case but just for your SA.
It occurs to me now that this might be an issue of miscommunication. If you said something like, “Can my husband wear his military dress uniform, it’s the formal uniform and looks like a suit, it doesn’t have tails”. I can see someone not understanding the designation of orders of dress within the military and assuming this was not White Tie. But I don’t know if what your husband has is, in fact a Mess Kit, or not.
The U.S. Navy only has a white tie equivalent uniform for officers, none for enlisted personnel.
It seems that if his uniform is black tie he should rent civilian white tie attire.
Good to know! Any member, of any rank, can wear a mess kit in Canada which would solve the problem (if he was interested in having one).
This group sounds insufferable. I’m in New Orleans, and we go to several white tie events during Mardi Gras season. One of our favorites is the Krewe of Mars ball, which specifically honors members of the US armed forces and other emergency responders. I just checked their website, and the dress code is described as, Gentlemen in Civilian white tie and black tails, Military Evening Dress or Service Dress with Black Bow Tie. No tuxedos. In all cases, white gloves should be worn. Ladies in Civilian tasteful floor length evening gowns or military evening dress, or service dress.” Your husband’s winter dinner dress uniform is white tie equivalent.
When is this event?
Around Christmas.
I am expecting and due on Friday. My take: Bow out! Please, bow out! It is the right call, 100%.
Congrats on the pregnancy, and I would definitely skip this event!
I don’t think it would be fun to spend $1,000 to watch my friends get wasted, pregnant or not.
Drunk people are SO boring and stupid when you’re not drinking!!
It sounds like a weird event if the dress code is so insanely rigid and formal, and yet people also feel free to get wasted.
Congratulations! Def fine to skip, if you’re like me you’ll be exhausted for a few months and glad you bowed out.
As an aside, I live in a nice east coast suburb and I thought I’d been to some nice parties but this is the fanciest thing I’ve ever heard of! I need context. Is it like you and all your friend are aristocrats but your husband didn’t get a fancy enough title in the military so it’s a thing, like all the time? What even goes on at this party that makes white tie imperative? Is it all vintage champagne ballroom dancing? How fancy is the place they’re holding it? Is it like a hotel so nice I’ve never heard of it?
Bow out. It just being flu season and Covid risk so early in pregnancy would be enough for me to want to avoid a huge group of people. I don’t think you should disclose though since you shouldn’t have to and it puts the client in a weird spot. I’d beg off with a competing family obligation or a relative’s “surgery” or something instead.
Ok everyone, what do I watch now that I’ve watched all three seasons of Lincoln Lawyer?
Have you already seen Goliath? I think Bosch is also connected though I haven’t seen it yet.
We enjoyed Bosch.
Good to know, I will add it to my list!
If OP enjoyed Lincoln Lawyer for being something relatively light with a sense of place, we liked White Collar and Person of Interest.
I’m OP, and I’m trying to figure out whether I loved the eye candy (the actor who plays Mickey) or the scenic love letter to LA better, but I guess I loved both.
To my eye, Bosch has both of those. YMMV.
The new Ted Danson series is supposed to be good.
Man on the Inside? I only watched one episode and hadn’t made up my mind yet.
I just binged this (A Man on the Inside) on a long flight and I loved it. Heartwarming and funny. If you liked The Good Place, you’ll see lots of familiar faces and it’s the same creator.
you’ve already watched the Good Wife and its spinoff, I assume? more legal light with some drama mixed in.
Fisk
I’m currently sad that this is airing but not in USA!
We went way back and started Burn Notice.
Silks on Amazon.
This morning’s AM thread on gifts resulted in a little epiphany. I think I hate gifts because no one in my life has ever bought me something thoughtful. Even as a kid I’d get the same barbie as my cousin, I’m just gifted ‘generic female present’.
I hear you. That’s similar to my experience up until recently, and it definitely can make gift giving and receiving feel like such a chore.
My husband is an excellent gift giver and often gifts me things that I didn’t even know I needed and are based on keen observations of what I like and what my needs are. I mentioned to him that I think he’s very attentive in this way, to which he responded that it doesn’t feel like anything special to him. He think’s he’s a normal amount of attentive and it doesn’t take any effort at all to be thoughtful in this way. It made me realize that I hadn’t felt “seen” on that level before.
This breaks my heart. But it also makes total sense as to why you wouldn’t be partial to gift giving as an adult! I’m sorry this has been your experience. I am a gift giving-lover, and I am passionate about buying thoughtful and personalized gifts for loved ones, so I am sincerely sorry this has not happened for you yet. I am sure you are deserving and wonderful!
It can be very demoralizing and not at all fun to get those generic girl gifts. Honestly I’ve appreciated it more as an adult, especially when its a very nice item, but it sucks to not be personally recognized.
My one and only scent hate is lavender, so I end up extra salty when I get lavender things.
Mine is probably eucalyptus and everything “spa” seems to be a mix of lavender and eucalyptus. Also who decided spa music was a good idea? As an actual musician, it makes me stabby. Ok that that’s enough Lewis Black from me for today.
I’ll trade you both – I love lavender and eucalyptus and hate vanilla and cucumber scents :)
OP I hope this holiday you get something truly thoughtful and personalized. You deserve it!
My parents are terrible at gifting, so now that we’re mostly all grown (youngest sibling is 18) we just tell each other to donate to charities. No one in my family of origin has yet figured out how to gift.
My ex husband’s gifts were expensive jewelry picked out by his mother and suited to her tastes. I ended up acting like I didn’t want or like gifts just to avoid the needless spend and queries why I didn’t wear jewelry utterly unsuited to my taste and life.
My late mother’s terrible boyfriend bought her the teeniest “real” jewelry from Costco. So he was like, she has a ruby necklace now, easy, get her the toby earrings. She had this in sapphire and opal too. She. Was. No. A. Jewelry. Person.
The ugliest settings too. When it came time to split up her jewelry box, no one wanted any of it!
Yeah, I get this. I dislike pretty much every generic female present, so it always really rubs me the wrong way when I hear people talking about getting these kind of generic presents for people because it seems so inconsiderate and wasteful. Even when it comes to more expensive gifts, I still don’t think there’s such thing as a generic good gift. I just posted on the wedding registry thread about how I never use my kitchen aid mixer or Dutch oven, despite cooking and baking a lot. It’s really hard to get exactly the right thing for someone for someone who’s not you, and that’s especially true the more you differ from the generic American woman. Getting bad gifts can sometimes just be a reminder that you don’t have standard tastes or a standard life and that other people don’t really understand you (I rarely feel this way in real life, but reading these gift threads does sometimes make me feel like a weirdo). Luckily my family pretty much only does small consumables and gifts for kids.
You really should try your dutch oven. If you cook a lot it can replace almost all of your pots and pans.
Amour Vert used to have simple modal shirts that felt so smooth and soft and breathed well that were perfect for layering under sweaters or wearing on their own. I finally decided that it was worth it to pony up the money to buy some more and they no longer sell them! Nor are they available in my size from their secondhand website.
Any recommendations for long or short sleeve shirts for layering? Ideally modal or a soft cotton and cut a bit more generously than a slim fit (I’m a size 14 and slim fit anything doesn’t tend to look good on me).
Quince makes a modal cotton blend tee that I really like. Wash on cold and dry on low then promptly hang. It’s called the crew neck swing tee. I have 10 or more of them.
I don’t like much at quince, but I love these tees.
Thank you! These look perfect!
I received a text from a teen family member that I’m not close to, and who didn’t converse with me the last time we were in the same place. The text was sent to a group that said a particular item was their big Christmas request if we needed ideas or wanted to go in together as a group. Is this normal in your family? I can’t imagine ever sending that text, even as a teen. I remember making wish lists when asked. I’m not around many children so maybe this is how it is these days. No one responded to the text. I kind of felt bad but also put off by the “request” part. Maybe also put off that this is the only time I receive any communication too. No bad blood or anything like that. Just not close.
basically every piece of advice on this site is “someone did something that i think is annoying/ rude/ weird. what should i do?
it is normal in my family for the children to share things they want with their grandparents, aunts/ uncles. i don’t know if it is normal and i don’t know who this “family member” is. would you otherwise buy this kid a gift?
You are not normal, this is obvious.
lol— this is very rude. Teens have always been rude in certain circumstances, but I guess cell phones are just opening up a new avenue for that.
I’d ignore, but I’d also be irritated inside.
Not normal, just a teen being a rude teen.
but… teens being rude… is… normal?
This is totally something I would have done as a teen without realizing it was rude. As a teen my thought process would be ‘this is pragmatic and low labor for my family, and would spare them from a bad gift opening performance’.
+1
this is both rude and not normal, but also not outside the bounds for what teens will do without realizing its not appropriate – I dont think there was any intent to come off as greedy or spoiled here, but just a teen not realizing norms yet
It could even originate in some kind of misunderstood directive (like if one person requested a wishlist).
That’s my thought – I could see telling my (actually pretty nice and thoughtful) 14 year old “hey, think of some ideas for gifts for family” and he thinks that means “text anyone in our family a link to what you want.”
Not well thought out, not polite, but a kid who is still learning social norms.
I can definitely see my kid doing the same thing. I would be mortified, of course, but teens are still learning social graces.
yes, exactly this. Every year, various family members ask my kids what they want for Christmas, so I bet this teen just thought he or she was getting ahead of the question without realizing that, without the question, it’s rude.
+1. Give some grace here. It wasn’t appropriate, but it was probably misguided and not meant to offend. Especially if they’d been coached by a parent to have some ideas ready in case people ask.
I don’t think it’s a big deal. Not the norm in my family but it is in others.
Definitely rude and not typical, even for a teen. Sounds like it will be a learning experience for them.
I’d skin my kids alive if I found out they did something like this.
But since they knew that, of course they would NEVER.
Your kids may humble you.
Signed,
A former teen who was clueless at times despite being raised well
A current parent of a teen who is still learning to read the room
For real, even the best kids (who were raised perfectly – lol!) do boneheaded things – its part of being a kid and teen!
Thank you for saying this. I promise, there are dumb things your kid does/will do that will violate your sense of what you think you’ve instilled in them.
Eh, I’d be careful about this. My mom beat it in me to be polite always, but in reality she was just turning me into an abusers dream, easy to take advantage of and quiet.
I think it’s normal clueless and rude teenage behavior.
I had a 50+ SIL do this once.
I think it’s funny. I’d respond with my gift list and something like “since we’re sharing”.
Along the gifts track today – we are building our wedding registry and would love to know items you love and recommend adding across all price points!
About us: late 20s professionals in the DMV, both active, starting from scratch (neither of us own the highest quality items other than my Ninja coffee maker), enjoy traveling.
Thanks!
Okay third time I’ve mentioned it today, but I recently got a mandoline that slices, grates, chops, and dices and I’m really excited about it. Definitely wish I’d gotten it earlier!
I cook and freeze a lot and I love souper cubes, would definitely recommend them!
Similarly, I posted this morning, but Oxo grid vegetable chopper was one of my most useful wedding gifts. Other useful kitchen items: Le Creuset “every day” pan, good food processor (I only use it a few times a year, but when I need it, it’s great), good meat thermometer. I also got a mandoline that I don’t use as much. Least used gift I thought I would love: white wine chiller.
A somewhat unusual item for a registry that I put on was nice planters. They can get expensive and I like plants.
Be careful with that mandolin!! I lost part of my finger to one. Wear the protective gloves.
I keep getting excited about your mandolin and then realize you’re talking about something else!
Are you looking for kitchen stuff? My most used items are probably my rice cooker, my Le Creuset dutch oven, my All Clad stainless steel plans, and good knives.
Maybe glass baking dishes (9×9 for 2 people or 9×13 for more people/baked goods).
I’m actually a big fan of baking rice in the oven using an oiled glass pan covered with foil (for those who haven’t tried it). I find clean-up easier than the rice cooker because you can submerge the pan & don’t have to deal with cleaning the seals/lid of the rice cooker.
Great formal china. I know it’s not ‘cool’ to love having formal china in addition to everyday dinnerware but we use it all the time for mini special occasions – Mother’s day breakfast in bed, kids birthday dinners with family, last day of school, breakfast on first day of school, half birthday cupcakes. It just makes things seem more special.
Upgraded baking supplies as well because I love to bake. We had a big range of prices. One of my favorite gifts was a set of measuring cups that my friend paired with a journal she filled with favorite cookies recipes from different friends.
I love having good china. Check out Juliska for great everyday stuff and I have Wedgwood’s wild strawberry for my fancy pattern.
+1 on fine china. It gets a bad rap these days, but I use mine at least 3x/year, and I’m so thankful for it when I do.
We have the wedgewood geo as our everyday plates. After burning through many other sets, these are totally worth it.
A Kitchenaid mixer!
+1
only if you have the counter space to keep it out most of the time, or an “appliance garage” to store it handily. those things are huge! I do a lot of baking and wish I had one, but my teensy kitchen can’t handle it.
I agree with dutch oven, rice cooker, and good cookware.
Attractive serving + storage bowls (with lids!)
Snapware glass food storage containers
Nice flatware/silverware and serving pieces
Towels and sheets
Attractive storage solutions like woven baskets, hampers etc
I got the mini KitchenAid mixer and store it in a cabinet in my tiny kitchen. It can handle recipes with up to about 5 cups of flour and is easier to get out and put away than the full-sized version.
My husband hates having things out on the counter, so when we got married he made a solemn promise to get it out and put it away any time I wanted to use it. Eight years in, so far, so good.
-We have white bone china. Lightweight but sturdy, stacks small, can be dressed up or down. I add interest by adding vintage and locally made items when we travel
-Serving pieces that can be put in the oven/microwave/fridge and have lids
-Mixing bowls with lids. I love our Duralex bowls
-Duralex glassware in general
-Make sure stainless items are 18/10 to avoid tarnishing. Be sure you see them in person so you can see how sturdy they are and if they fit nicely in your hand
-Kitchenaid mixer
-Blendtec or Vitamix blender
-All clad pans are awesome and will last forever, but the handles are really uncomfortable to me. I ended up getting triple ply Cuisinart pans (the ones made in France) “for the time being” over a decade ago and have been really happy with them
-An enameled cast iron Dutch oven, either Le Creuset or Staub
-Not an item, but we had a big list of registry items and ranked them by how much we wanted them, then only put the most desired items up first (making sure there were a wide range of price points). As those were purchased, I added the lower priority items. You have to babysit a bit, but this helped us get all 12 place settings and some items that might go unpurchased otherwise.
Also:
-Nordicware Naturals pans (sheet, loaf, etc). Super sturdy and no nonstick finish that will inevitably flake off.
-A good paring knife and chef’s knife and a midrange serrated knife will take care of pretty much everything. Try them out in store to get a feel for fit and weight
Le Creuset cookware. We have so many different size pots and baking dishes, and honestly I use them all!
Some items to consider:
-Le Creuset Dutch Oven (I like a larger one)
-Le Creuset Braiser
-A good set of knives
-Folks go many ways on fine china; we host a lot and are happy to have it – but be strategic about which pieces you need (e.g., coffee mugs without tea cups may work for your lifestyle)
-All Clad Roaster (large enough for a big turkey or ham, if you plan to host holidays)
-Quality wine glasses and barware
-Cheese knives (these are so key)
-MacKenzie Childs tea kettle
-Espresso machine
Le Creuset. It’s the first thing I buy off someone’s registry. Go for the big one if you don’t already have one. (That’s 7+ quart.) Otherwise the standard 5ish quart is great, and a braiser/everyday pan may become your most used pot/pan.
If not into cooking, a really nice set of towels or sheets.
Just my note after years of truing to help my mom find things she could buy on wedding registries on her fixed income, please include a few $30-$40 items for people like her who want to send you a gift and wish you the best, even if they probably won’t be able to attend your wedding. They will sell out quickly, so add some more as time marches on. Oxo kitchen accessories, hand towels, extra pillow cases. Things like that.
To be extremely specific :
https://a.co/d/2T2tOZJ
This thing will live longer than me. mine is already 25+ years old.
Agree. The last few wedding registries I’ve received have all had very pricey items and not much else. I want to give you something you want! But you’re my cousin, so you’re definitely not getting a $250 casserole dish from me.
Really? I think 200-250 is a pretty standard wedding goft amount these days.
A few of my favorites from when I got married a few years ago: Le Creuset, a larger air fryer, Zojirushi rice cooker, a good knife set, upgraded sheets and towels, any holiday/religious items that you don’t have. I also love my Cuisinart ice cream maker – a little impractical but very fun.
Things I’ve wanted since I bought my place:
– Matching set of dishes – big plates, small plates, etc. You may not have big formal dishes but its convenient to have them when you need them. Crate & Barrel had good options.
– Same for utensils.
– I like a good electric kettle if you’re tea drinkers.
– Nice serving dishes in general
– High quality bedsheets
– Coordinated organizing boxes, bins, trays
Also charcuterie boards / nice cutting boards, both for use and for display.
I like hosting so a lot of things are geared towards that.
Electronic wine bottle opener
Do people put toolkits on registries? That can come in handy.
Congratulations/Best Wishes! Here are some suggestions, in addition to those in other comments:
Lodge cast iron frying pans
All-clad (signature line) non-stick cookware set (not easy to find, but on sale right now on Amazon!)
Dash egg cooker
Dash rice cooker
Pyrex 8-piece mixing bowl set with lids
2-quart, 3-quart, and 4-quart pyrex casseroles (with lids, if possible)
8×8 baking dish
8 or 9-inch cake baking dish
9-inch pie pan
4-cup pyrex measuring cup
12 large dinner-size white cotton napkins
classic Oster blender
6-quart size Kitchen Aid mixer that lifts the bowl (not the pivot-style that lifts the beaters)
6-quart crock pot
deviled egg plate
sheet pans
cookie sheets
cooling racks
glass pitcher
salt shaker
pepper grinder
a set of champagne flutes (tall, not wide)
A set of drinking water goblets that are machine washable
electric kettle
toaster oven
set of knives in a block
medium-size roasting pan with rack
People are listing a lot of the basic ones, and they’re basic for a reason because you can’t really go wrong. But I highly recommend customizing your list for your lifestyle. My husband and I asked for a power drill, and I adore the power drill and it gets used all the time. We also got a 2 person sleeping bag, which has received plenty of use. These are not things everyone would appreciate, but they are my favorite of the wedding gifts we received. My SiL recently got married, she says her favorite item is the nice vacuum because she has 2 large dogs. Figure out what household items suit your desired lifestyle, and ask for those.
I cook and bake a lot. Here are the things I’ve either gotten rid of or almost never use: kitchen aid mixer, big food processor, an ice cream maker, pressure cooker, mandoline, oxo chopper, blender, most of my knives, wood cutting boards, ceramic baking pans.
What I do love and use all the time: small food processor, toaster oven, waffle maker, kitchen scale, lots of nice measuring spoons, a few good knives of exactly the right size (especially paring knives and small and large serrated knives), Pyrex mixing bowls with lids, good cookie sheets, sheet pans, a few good pots and pans of the right sizes (not a set), Pyrex baking pans with lids, Pyrex glass containers with lids, silicone spatulas of various sizes. Most of these, other than the pots and pans, are actually not that expensive, the key is to not buy the cheapest version available and to get the one that’s just right for what you need. Most of the expensive stuff is the stuff I barely end up using and takes up tons of space, so think hard about what you actually want. If you have a huge kitchen and don’t plan to move, maybe you can give into that more, but I just ended up resenting a lot of it and got rid of it before a cross country move.
I should add, I also got rid of my Dutch oven, though that’s the one thing I slightly regret as I’ve need baking a lot of bread recently and it might be useful for that. I don’t eat meat, so I otherwise have no use for one, or for a big roasting pan, or a Crock Pot, which are clearly other peoples standbys. But I use sheet pans to roast veggies at least once a week, so having a good set of those is probably my equivalent.
There are sooooo many non-meat uses for a Dutch oven – beans, soup, pasta, etc. Not judging your decision, just saying this is not a carnivore’s item. I think I’ve only put meat in mine once, but I cook beans and/or soup weekly.
Same, I can’t figure out what else I’d make soup in. I loathe crock pots.
I have 5 dutch ovens of various sizes all in heavy use and I don’t eat or cook meat either.
I bake sourdough bread in my dutch oven at least once a week! buy yourself another one, it is worth it. I also use it for pasta sauce, a baked eggs recipe that goes from stove to oven, and baked mac and cheese.
Haha, lots of replies to this. I have a big all clad pot I use for pasta and soup and curries. It’s bigger than my Dutch oven, but lighter so it’s easier to handle when full and better for big batches of soup, chili, pasta, etc. I don’t really feel like I need another huge heavy pot for that purpose and I don’t really have room for one, which is why I got rid of the Dutch oven (I literally never used it in the oven). Bread is the only thing that’s making me second guess that.
Are you planning to move soon or are you living together and will stay at your current place for at least a few years? I regret registering for a ton of stuff while we lived in a small apartment. We moved three times since then until we finally bought a house, and it was just more stuff to pack.
choose a few great knives instead of a massive set.
white dishes! add color and interest with other pieces, seasonal, etc. we love our C&B set.
nordic ware baking sheets
hobby items can be great – camping, luggage, record player etc.
I love & use my specialty appliances but think about if you’re actually that person before putting a bunch on the registry.
Good knives. Register for the knives and block individually because a set is so expensive. Same for All-Clad pans.
I will suggest some items that seem silly but are very very practical:
One or two good buckets
Good broom and dustpan (not the swiffer kind of broom, one with bristles) – if you have an outdoor space, you can go for one for outdoors and one for indoors
A fancy vacuum cleaner (we have a SEBO and love it)
A selection of tools (screwdriver set, drill, voltage tester)
An emergency kit (flashlight, crank radio etc)
On this note, camp chairs and other outdoors stuff is great to add also.
Glass nesting bowls
Basic tools, if you don’t have many (good hammer, screwdriver set, level, maybe a drill)
Bluetooth speaker (I have some cheap ones that I like, until I use my sister’s Bose …)
Crockpot
Good vacuum
Suitcases or other travel items like packing cubes
And congratulations!
Oh, and Schott Swiesel wine/champagne/cocktail glasses. Beautiful crystal, sturdier than most because they are made with titanium, apparently. I have the universal wine glasses and love them, constantly tempted to buy coupe glasses but I already have far too much barware.
I loved my glass nesting bowls until I managed to chip them all. Is this just how it goes or is there a brand I should replace them with next time?
I have the Anchor Hocking set (2 sets, in fact — my husband and I each had a set when we got married and we use all of them) and they are still going strong after 10 years.
And they’re on sale today at Amazon.
Thank you! Come to think of it, I have one Anchor Hocking bowl that I’ve had for fifteen years. It’s not the rest of the set’s fault that I dropped them from the height of the top of my fridge (oops).
I’ve had bowls from Pyrex and Anchor Hocking for 20+ years without a chip. That includes multiple cross country moves and me being a huge klutz. I have so much Pyrex that I use constantly, and I don’t think I’ve ever broken a single one, despite dropping and bumping them a lot (some of the plastic lids for the storage containers do eventually break, but you can replace those).
I’ve been avoiding Pyrex since one of their baking pans exploded on me (yes, explosion is the appropriate term for flying glass in my view!), but I don’t bake with bowls anyway so that’s a good recommendation; thank you!
did you put it on a stovetop you didn’t realize was still hot? that’s how I exploded a pyrex once.
I do love pyrex, though. 4, 2, and 1 cup liquid measuring cups would be another great registry item.
Going off of Registry’s comment – when you’re early 30s, finally financially established, and very, very single – what did you keep and think “maybe I’ll replace it when I’m partnered” and what did you replace yourself?
Part of me is “life is too short to use the hand me down XYZ / I don’t want to wait for a partner to start living my life the way I want to”, but the other part of me is like at my age relationships happen so fast, wouldn’t it be silly to spend $$ on an upgrade only to meet a guy and move in with him and whoops we both own XYZ pricey item.
I stopped thinking that way because there are no guarantees in life and I deserve to have the things I want now, not some hypothetical day in the future. Why depend on meeting a man to have a good set of pots and pans, or whatever? Take it from me who is still single in her late thirties: you can’t count on a relationship to happen.
Yes, but also as a single person who isn’t sure if a relationship will happen or when, I also figure it’s better to pad my savings than it is to upgrade – all financial things are on me and only me
+1 I did not consider this at all when making purchases.
I like buying ‘forever’ things rather than trendy stuff. Things I love are my enameled Staub, Peugeot salt and pepper mills, burr coffee grinder, and steel pans.
I didn’t partner until I was 35. Around 32, I started replacing whatever my heart desired, within reason. I also bought a house at that age, which made that choice make extra sense for me.
I got married at 40 but bought myself all the good stuff starting around 30 as soon as I could afford it. For me that was good cookware, a king bed, good sheets and towels, china, silverware, and I started collecting antiques. When I met my husband, the good part was my stuff was better so we defaulted to that and I didn’t feel like I had to compromise on home goods.
PS – the only thing we had two of was a le creuset Dutch oven and that was hardly the end of the world.
By the things you want and can afford. Don’t wait to enjoy them because you think you don’t deserve them until some man you haven’t met yet puts a ring on it. Live your life!
I did this and the purchase was a townhouse. YOLO.
Just get what you want. I met DH when we were 36 and we both had our own stuff. We have a bunch of duplicates, which is kind of nice in case one breaks or, ie, we’re hosting and want more than one crock pot going at the same time. I think we have like 5 crock pots of various sizes between us.
For a lot of stuff, we don’t agree on what to keep and what to get rid of, we both like “our” stuff. The plan is to replace with things we both like, which in some instances kind of sucks because some of my things are high end and his are… not. However, I concede that my high end things don’t always meet our needs. Like, I love my beautiful sofa, but it is small and not particularly welcoming. His couches are hideous but lying down in them is like being hugged by a (slightly smelly – but he swears they don’t smell) cloud. So his couches are by the TV and mine is in a formal sitting area. He knows we’re going to replace his beloved couches one day.
The only thing we’ve really butted heads on is silverware. His are clunky and uncomfortable to hold but he prefers them. We haven’t been able to find an acceptable replacement. For now, we’re each using our own set of silverware. I’m just glad we have a lot of space!
Girlie, if you spend $300 on a KitchenAid and it’s the magical summoning charm for the man of your dreams, because Murphy’s Law, that’s a win!
To be clear, if Mr. Right doesn’t appear next to you in the grocery aisle as you shop for ingredients for the inaugural batch of KitchenAid cookies, you still have a great life.
I just take the attitude that it’s a win either way: I’ve upgraded my home and enjoy it alone, or it ended up being ironic timing for meeting a great guy and that’s okay, too.
Yes, please go buy these things in person so you can have a meet cute along the lines of the Home Depot discussion earlier (going there to meet men). Picture this: your hands touch as you both reach for an immersion blender at the same time … you look up into the sparkling eyes of your new love. You must mutually purchase the blender and share custody until which time as you cohabitate. Until then, “your place or mine?” (for all your blending needs) is your couple catchphrase.
By my late twenties my birthday and holiday wish lists were basically a wedding registry. I asked for plates, glasses, barware, baking dishes, and small appliances. Once I met DH, owning too many sheet pans didn’t seem like much of a problem.
now-married but can’t say I regret any of the things I upgraded for myself when I was single! I’d definitely focus on what you use most/what annoys you the most currently (e.g. the just-okay knife).
I replaced everything I wanted. A potential partner did not factor into the equation at all. Luckily when I met my husband, he agreed all my stuff was better. :)
How many guys really own good kitchenware? When I met my husband he was using a cookie sheet for a pot lid and his dishes were hand-me-downs from his parents. He was 30 and had a good job and real furniture and a nice car.
This is a good point. When I started dating my now ex-H, he was maybe 33 and owned two forks. (One could be dirty in the sink and he could still eat, why have any more?) When we split up 10 years ago, he suggested we divide the (non-fancy) silverware but I said I would just buy new.
I got my own queen size bed when I rented my first real apartment in my 20s. I ignored my mom’s comment that no one does that until they’re married. Like, mom, what?? No way I was going to wait for such a hypothetical future event to have a nice bed. I never held off on anything that I needed or wanted to create a comfortable home for myself. On the other hand, some of the hand me downs were just fine and I didn’t feel any desire to replace them.
for the mom this morning who was looking for something for her teen daughter to wear for orchestra…. check out the web page chic wish. lots of full skirts and sweaters, can get same color for dress effect or get coordinating. very cheap, don’t know about quality….
No please don’t – it is horrible quality fast-fashion, and it awful for the environment, please just no!
Have a scary-ish specialist appointment tomorrow and could use some good vibes. I’m glad they squeezed me in before the holiday weekend, but this is going to be a weird Thanksgiving whatever they say, since it won’t be conclusive.
Having weathered a health problem & come out the other side, the one thing I wish I’d done differently is worried less! I know it’s easier said than done, but good for you for addressing this as best you can & try to enjoy life as best you can too.
I’m glad they could get you in, and yes, you may not know anything definite, but you will have taken all the steps you can take right now. Fingers crossed for you.
Good vibes to you!! Been there.
Good vibes to you. I hope you still have a nice Thanksgiving weekend.
VIBES!!
Good vibes to you, I went through this recently with a br3@st biopsy, and it was a long wait for results over a weekend, let alone a holiday weekend! My results were reassuring, and I hope yours are, too.
The medical thread yesterday was enlightening. I didn’t know how doctor comp broke down. I’m a lawyer and it seems that if you work at a big fancy academic medical center on a coast, that is like the Cravath of medical practices. But unlike Cravath (paying top of market b/c otherwise how will they have the best people), the doctor gets paid peanuts b/c there are a million other doctors who’d take that job. Industries are so different! 18 year old me would have loved to know all of this (and: doctors often don’t work on Fridays, broker-dealers get 2-week breaks where they cannot be in touch with their offices, etc., etc.).
hmmm… Didn’t read that thread but I’m a doc and worked at many big med centers and never heard of an option of 4 day weeks. We used to envy all the nurses that worked 4 day weeks.
OP on this and I meant DENTISTS not working Fridays (often; not always).
This is why I wanted to become a dentist! hilariously, my ER doctor dad’s response to that was “why wouldn’t you just become a doctor?”. ummmm maybe because I noticed how you slept during the day, worked at night, and we’re not a super active participant in family life, leading to your divorce?
(As I mentioned on the thread last week, I did not make it to dental school because I decided it wouldn’t be fair to my husband and babies to put all my time and energy there. I do still wish I’d pursued it a few years earlier, though.)