Thursday’s TPS Report: Block-Print Popover
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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This week's TPS reports come to us from Lisa of Privilege, who has guest posted with us before. Thanks for sharing your picks with us this week, Lisa!
In casual offices your great jacket spends a lot of time on its hanger. So a make-you-happy-to-put-it-on top, one in a really flattering color and with lots of room for lunch, will more than carry its own weight. One of my favorite casual office citizens, Deja Pseu at Une Femme, has been showing print tops recently. I think she's onto something. I just love the pattern and colors in this J. Crew popover, but it also comes in ikat and Liberty flowers and photoprints, in lavenders and burgundies and lemon yellow. You will probably want to add an underlayer, if not for modesty, then to combat the industrial strength air-conditioning modern office buildings just can't seem to quit. In this print, it's $78 at J. Crew. J. Crew Block-Print Popover
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-5)
Hey guys, here’s a link to Une Femme in a lemon-yellow J. Crew shirt with gray jeans. http://unefemme.net/2014/05/hello-sunshine.html. I saw her in it, that’s what made me start thinking about the value of a good print top in the casual office.
I love J Crew! Great Selection from the guest p’oster! I ALWAYS take my jacket off @ work b/c of the terribel air condition we have in our office’s. FOOEY! There is absoluteley NO circulation of air and I call up the building peeople alot to see what they can do. They do NOTHING other then come up, look at the vent’s and then hold something up that take’s the temperature. Big deal.
The manageing partner asure’s me that whatever place we wind up with will have good HVAC. I do NOT know what the V stand’s for, tho H is heating and AC is air condition. If anyone in the hive know’s what the V stand’s for, please share with the rest of us. Thanks…
Butch is being very nice. I think he is thinkeing that he want’s to be my boyfreind, tho he has onley kissed me good night. It is good that he is NOT grabbey like all the other’s like Gonzalo. DOUBEL FOOEY on men that grab our boobies and tuchus! This is NOT sexy to us women. Why don’t men know that?
I believe that is Ventilation. This is something that your manageing partner is not provideing.
YIKES! I finally had a reason to respond to Ellen.
#JSPAMO
Love this! All your picks this week have been spot on, Lisa! Can you stay forever??? Or re-do my closet?
Thank you! And I’m happy to talk to anyone about their closet:). Makes for a great cup of tea topic!
Lisa–I’m in MP/Atherton for the summer, so, yeah–I would seriously love to meet you!
Aaargh! Clicked Report when I meant Reply! And I meant, yes, that would be wonderful. Meet up for a cup of tea at Cafe Borrone some time? You’ll find me at the blog email, skyepeale[at]yahoo.com, and I’d love to get together.
Oooh—I like it better on her than on the J.Crew model.
I like this too! I have a J crew liberty print shirt that I wear a lot – more than any other button-down – and all my blouses (excepting ‘work t-shirts’ which usually go under a cardigan under a blazer) are in some kind of print. I find that print tops are very valuable in a more conservative office too – all my suits are black or navy or some kind of grey and the print top is really great to add color and interest.
I think I look nicer in prints versus solids, something about less of a stark contrast? I’m wearing a book print dress today, I feel a little like Ms Frazzle from the magic schoolbus.
For anyone looking for a cheaper alternative, Target has had some cute print button-down shirts over the past year (popovers, too). I never wear button-downs, but there is something about these (maybe the fabric is a bit thinner and drapes better?) that works on me.
Old Navy has a similar shirt now for about $10 with the sale code http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=9526210320002&cid=1014224&locale=en_US
Thanks for the tip. Bought it from old navy. I actually liked the old navy prints better, and you can’t beat $10.
Gift ideas? Does anyone have an idea for a second “small” gift to round out a birthday present for a friend? I bought a friend of mine a luxury lipstick, and I’d like to give her something else small that feels luxurious. Normally I’d go for a luxury hand cream or a candle, but she’s not big into scented things. I bought a scarf and earrings for another friend’s birthday last week, so I can’t repeat those gifts. I’ve got about a week.
A Chanel nail polish?
I love this suggestion. Fancy nail polish is something I always want but can’t bring myself to spend the money on and would love to receive it as a gift.
+2 – you sound like a great friend – that’s a great gift!
L’occitaine also sells unscented hand lotions if you want – I love their shea butter one.
Yes! This is a great idea that I would really appreciate.
I just read an article that said the Chanel polishes do not rank anywhere near as well as cheaper polishes. Go/ogle “Which nail polish lasts the longest? $2 drugstore brand is the surprising winner – and $27 Chanel color ranks just SIXTH”. Maybe a Marc Jacobs or Tom Ford color to feel fancy?
Or maybe a Butter London polish? I LOVE them but I just can’t justify buying them for myself. Just kidding, I’ve got two of them. But I’m always eyeing them and getting sad that the reality of my bank account says no to $15 nail polish.
But I’d lurveee to get them as gifts.
It doesn’t really matter how long they last. A Chanel polish is a Chanel polish – beautiful and luxurious. But check if your friend even paints her nails herself. I only get professional manicures and get gel polish only. Lots of my friends do the same.
Thanks for the suggestions, ladies! I think I will go with the nail polish idea – I know she paints her nails, since I used to borrow her polishes when we were roommates! It’ll go perfectly with a card that says “Treat Yo Self”
How about a nice mirror compact? There are a million options – from silver/engraved to more funky iterations that you can find on etsy. And it coordinates with the lipstick.
A book? Maybe a really nice edition of a book she already owns and loves so that she doesn’t feel the pressure to read it?
Thank you to all you wonderful ladies in The Hive for your kind, supportive words and advice yesterday about handling my dad’s stroke. I’ve started reaching out to my network, and Dad is being discharged today. The doctors expect he will regain most, if not all, of his function with PT.
This is great to hear. I hope your friends are supportive, and that your dad recovers quickly.
Sending happy thoughts your way. <3
That’s great. I missed yesterday’s post, but I want to tell you that my dad had a stroke a few years ago, in his 80s, and he came all the way back. He’s driving, playing pool, typing on the computer… all like it never happened.
Good luck. My dad had a stroke too and has recovered completely after physical therapy. It was definitely scary for a while though.
I love these popover shirts, but I find they look tent-ey if you have a bust at all. In fact, I feel that way about the oversized/flowy shirt trend generally- I have a large bust, and with skinny jeans I just end up looking like I’m pregnant, or otherwise like I’m wearing a tent.
I love them too – which is why I wait for them to make it to double markdown status, and then stock up and head for the tailor. Mine nips in the waist just enough to make it clear there’s a waist down there, while preserving the blousy, summery feel. I think it costs about $15 but very worth it IMO.
I intend to do this with the shirts I’ve picked up recently to accommodate my pregnant middle. As Anonymous said above, they’re great for this purpose! I’ve gotten some good ones from LOFT that don’t need ironing.
This is one of the quickest alterations I do for my own shirts. If you sew at all, I recommend it as an easy alteration.
My hair has been looking like it’s been through the wringer recently- I have coarse dry hair that I’ve dyed, blowdry and flat iron regularly, and all that bad stuff. Any secret tips to help my hair look healthier?
A gloss treatment might be worth a try. John Freida makes a home version that helps a bit. And try a weekly hair mask- neutrogena is a good drug store option.
A good conditioner, perhaps something like Moroccan oil or Terax Crema, and maybe a leave in treatment, like It’s a 10 or one of those spray-on things. Sometimes I rinse my hair with vinegar before conditioning, which is helpful if you have hard water.
Coconut oil on the scalp and maybe the shaft too. Let it sit for a few hours or overnight and then shampoo out.
If your hair is like mine, however, there’s really no remedy or protection for heat styling. You just have to cut it out completely if you want healthy hair with any substantial length.
I swear by this too. I just slather it on and it absorbs quickly, moisturizes, and smells great. Love coconut oil!
I also like the coconut oil treatments. I just slather on the ends, and work my way up my hair (it’s chin-length now, so there’s not much). Then, I wrap it in a plastic bag (like the produce bags from the grocery) and then put a stocking hat on top. I let it sit for a few hours, then comb and shampoo.
I will also agree that in extreme cases, you just have to cut it. Mine was below shoulder-length, but it looked awful. I got it cut up to my chin, so like 4-6″ total, and it totally changed my hair. Before, the ends were almost translucent, and the bottom third of my hair had no body or definition. It was such a difference to get a cut that helped kind of pull it all together. I might just not be meant for long hair.
Just a warning- I’ve heard that coconut oil can be bad for colored hair. Apparently it can strip the color or leave discoloration. I don’t think my stylist was just saying that to get me to buy something either- he recommended olive oil or mayo (yuck) instead of coconut oil. YMMV!
A pre-heat spray works wonders. My roommate swears by Paul Mitchell’s spray, but I picked up the Tresseme and I’m pretty happy with that. Huge difference in dryness, flyaways, and sleekness after adding that.
I taught myself how to do an at-home blowout so that my hair is styled with just the hair dryer (and some smoothing cream) with no flat iron use. Sparing the flat iron has helped my hair’s health enormously. I also can make the blowout last 2 or 3 days with no touchup (it actually looks better on day 2!), versus having to flatiron every day. I realize this is not an option with all hair types, but just throwing out the option in case it’s something you might be able to try.
How did you teach yourself how to do this? I’d love to try and figure it out!
My hair grows like a Chia pet so I need really frequent haircuts, and my stylist does a full blowout after each one. I notice most people read magazines or are on their phone during this part, but I just stare at what he’s doing the entire time, like a total creeper, to see how he does it. I’ve been seeing him for three years and I still notice new things he does that helps make it smoother, and of course it will never be as good as he does because he’s had years of training, practice, and has natural skill and what seems like 5 hands, but I can get it close enough that I’m happy with it for everyday style.
Briefly, the important parts are: the right hair dryer and round boar bristle brush, getting it to the right level of dryness with just a regular brush before you start with the round brush, and somewhat less importantly, sectioning.
On the first two, I’ve tried to use hotel hair dryers and I end up with a big pouf. Same if I use the wire round brush that my mom has at her house.
n dryness, start too soon with the round brush and you’ll spend an hour getting each section all the way dry (or in my case, give up before it’s truly all the way dry, and it puffs up later). He gets it to where it *looks* dry but still *feels* damp and that’s when he switches to the round brush and starts doing large sections. He starts with the brush on top of the hair, pulls it tight, and dries the top 2/3 of the strand (“top” as in from root to 2/3 of the way to the end). This smooths it down better than just rolling from underneath. He then switches to underneath to get the roundness on the ends.
On sections, this will vary on your hair length and thickness, but he does four sections on my bottom layer (from about temple on down, so pretty thick)–one on each side for the hair that falls in front of the ear if not tucked, and one on each side behind. Sometimes he’ll split the two back sections into a high and low one (and does this fancy three handed trick where he can hold the top one in without clipping it, while blow drying the bottom one–I, the mortal, need to clip the top one). When you get to the hair above the temple, take all the hair on each side of your part and do it together, in sections from back to front–doing the two sides together rather than sectioning on each side of your part helps with volume.
I’m a visual learner so I don’t know if that’s helpful written out, but hopefully it is a little bit! And please excuse all the parentheticals :)
That is helpful, thank you! I’ve watched my stylist do it before too so I can picture what you are talking about. I’ve been scared of the round brush, but I might get one and start practicing this weekend.
I usually only do this for special occasions or big meetings, but follow a similar self-blowout routine. The things that made the biggest difference for me were the proper amount of product use (which will be different for everyone), to get to the right amount of *almost* dry before round brushing, and to put my hair up in sections so that it’s like I have an extra hand. Sectioning it up in a clip helps so that you can emulate the way the stylist can get at your head above and behind you… if that makes any sense!
Do either of you have a round brush that you particularly like? I’ll go read Amazon reviews but if you have a great one that will save me some research.
Sydney, I recommend the Ibiza brand. My hairdresser, who teaches a blowdrying class, introduced me to them and I get pretty good results even though I’m not that great at doing my hair.
Thanks!
I second the oil treatment with coconut oil or any other oil you like. Also lay off the heat esp the flat ironing. It’s damaging to the hair which is likely also affected by dying. If your hair is also curly, you can look at naturallycurly.com for tips on styling it without having to use heat.
Can you let it air dry on the weekends? That has helped my hair immensely.
Do a monthly protein treatment. I get the Aphogee brand from Sally Beauty Supply, the one step version. Leave it on for 2 to 5 minutes after cleaning, rinse, and deep condition.
Also, heat damage can never be fully repaired. Get a largish trim and be gentler to your hair. Use a lower temperature, use heat protectant, maybe find gentler shampoos/conditioners, figure out some heatless styles that work for you to give your hair some time off, etc.
I swear by Kerastase Resistance Ciment Thermique. It has literally saved my hair. I use it even when I’m not heat styling as a leave in conditioner just to help it stay hydrated. Can’t tell its in my hair (for styling purposes) but I am finally not losing as much hair due to breakage.
I switched to organic dye and I’ve found that my hair looks so much healthier. I also use Moroccan oil which seems to help and doesn’t leave my hair sticky at all, which I hate.
Ojon makes a fantastic deep conditioning treatment. I have pretty long hair so I’m prone to split ends, but using this once every couple weeks has really helped maintain moisture. (link to follow)
http://www.ulta.com/ulta/browse/productDetail.jsp?productId=xlsImpprod3230147
Herbal Essences do an intensive conditioning mask that goes with their Bee Strong shampoo/conditioner (which I believe has a different name in the US, but it’s the one in the yellow bottles that’s for dry/ damaged hair and is advertised by Nicole Scherzinger)
I need your help hive. I recently brought a fantastic yellow / lime green Tahari dress during the Nordies 1/2 yearly sale, and it fits me perfectly ….problem is that I’m not sure how to top it off due to the split neck. I would normally go with a navy cropped blazer, but the split neck looks weird in it. Any ideas? Has anybody made a split neck with a topper (cardigan, jacket, blazer) work or have you just opted to wear without a topper? It’s sleeveless, so even for purposes of keeping warm, I’d like to add something when I wear it.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tahari-belt-detail-jacquard-sheath-dress-petite/3769797?origin=keywordsearch
I think this is a good situation for an open (no buttons) cardigan. In addition to not having embellishments that fight with the dress, they tend to hang straight down and so don’t interfere with the line of the dress or the neckline. You could so a longer or cropped version depending on your shape.
I have a green Tahari by ASL dress with the same split neckline and I feel your pain. I agree with the assessment of an open topper of some sort as there would be too much going on with buttons or a zipper, etc. When I’ve worn mine with a simple open cardi, it has looked best.
TMI threadjack. Has anyone ever convinced themselves they left a tampon in, or put a second one in and pushed the first one back, but cannot “find” it? What did you do? I feel like I’m losing my mind.
if you can’t feel anything up there when you stick a (clean) finger in as far as you can, then I don’t think there could be anything in there… there’s really no where it could have gone.
I know this from personal experience, but if you left a tampon in, you’ll be able to smell it in a day or two.
I would suggest you reach in and feel around for it. If it helps I think the area where the tampon sits doesn’t have as many nerve endings as higher up. That’s why you don’t feel it. If you did push something in higher I bet it would be painful. If somehow you did have two in there, you would know pretty soon, I’m guessing it would get nasty….and then it would be good to visit the doctor to have it removed.
What makes you think that? It DOES happen, but rarely, and usually only people who aren’t paying attention. For peace of mind, take a shower, have a glass or two of wine to relax, wash your hands, lock the bathroom or bedroom door, lie down, and try to reach up inside until you hit your cervix. You should be able to reach it with your fingertips. If a tampon went past your cervix, you’d feel it. There would also be a persistent smell that wouldn’t go away after showering and scrubbing. Afterwards, you’ll probably have some soreness, because cervixes don’t like being touched, so finish the bottle of wine (red is great for menstrual cramps) and put a heat pad on.
Well, I put one in at around 4:45 am before running (essentially sleep-walking), and right after doing it, I had the thought, did I take my first one out? Gosh I’m losing it. I did what you said last night, and it was my first time feeling up there so not exactly sure what I was feeling. I just called the Dr. and she is going to check today. This will probably be embarrassing and a waste of time/money but oh well.
It does take a bit of getting used to, but it’s helpful to know what it should feel like and understand what’s where. I’m sure you’ll be fine, though. Good luck!
I totally did this once many years ago. Don’t know how I managed to forget to take one out, but I noticed a funky smell, made an appointment with my OB, and then before the appointment it sort of pushed itself out. Don’t be embarrassed — my OB didn’t seem particularly surprised.
Don’t be embarrassed, I know multiple women who have had to had the doctor check! It’s just one of those things.
I got a tampon applicator stuck inside when I was a kid and had the OB/ GYN remove it – it was no biggie for her, though I was totally embarrassed.
I’ve had the doctor check this before. It was a false alarm and total waste of money, but I felt much better afterward so it was worth every penny (and yes, super embarrassing).
A quick trip to the OB-GYN probably wouldn’t hurt. It would put your mind at ease.
As embarrassing as this is, this happened to me once, except I did not know I had done it. Then, once when I was using the bathroom, a really old looking tampon slipped out. It really scared me. (It was only a day or two past my period, not weeks or anything, but still scared me a lot).
My spouse is an ob-gyn. Trust me, he sees women for this ALL THE TIME. It’s very common. And yes, at the risk of TMI, I’ve had him go in there when I’ve suspected I’ve left one inside.
I always second guess if I already have one in there or if I forgot about one. The good thing is, it can’t go anywhere. If for some crazy reason you do have one in there but can’t find it, eventually you would feel it as it tries to come out.
I once put a softcup in on top of an existing softcup. Luckily they both came out when I took the latter out. The other day, I put two contacts in the same eye. Stuff happens.
BTW have you ever tried the Diva Cup? http://divacup.com/ I have been using one for the last 12 years and totally love it and would never ever go back to tampons. My sister converted her whole female dorm to using them haha. Reasons it rocks: never needing to shop for tampons, works for 10 years before you need to buy a new one, so you save money and its good for the earth, only need to change it after hours and hours, haha and no way that you could lose it inside you!
LOVE MY DIVA CUP. Always recommend to everyone.
I agree. I alternate between my diva cup and a softcup. I keep softcups everywhere (purse, work, car), so if I happen to need it, it’s there.
Anon, make sure you do get it out. You can end up with toxic shock if it really festers in there. Gross, I know, but I’ve seen it happen.
http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-34-sleeve-pattern-ponte-wrap-dress/id_257607?sku_0=::D6F
This is the BEST work dress I have ever owned. Fabric is thick and more structured than you would think, length is perfect (I am 5’4″ and it hits just under my knee), 3/4 sleeves, and the wrap does not gape or go too low (and I am a D cup…this is a problem with every other wrap dress).
It is on sale for $25….I have the red – which looks very professional and not party-like, and works great with a blazer, and I liked it so much I also have the purple, again – professional and works with blazer.
If they made these in more colors I would buy them. This is the best dress I have ever owned. You put it on, it’s comfy, you look well-dressed without anything really standing out. (Every other dress I own is solid black or navy…but these prints look SO GOOD AND PROFESSIONAL I wear one or the other dress every. single. week.)
I have never before loved a piece of workwear like I love this dress.
I have this dress in the solid colors (cobalt and eggplant) and love.it. I get compliments each time I wear one. I may need to pick up another one. Thanks to whoever here brought it to my attention a few months ago.
For reference, I am 5’2′, busty, hourglass shaped, size 10-12. The petite medium fits perfectly and comes right to the top of my knee.
I have it in solids (cobalt and black) as well and agree that its a great workhorse dress. I feel better wearing a cami with it at work, but have no problem wearing it without one when going out to dinner etc. I picked up the black for even cheaper at a Sears store – worth checking the clearance racks for, I think I paid something like $12? It also came in handy as a last unexpected funeral dress, if you don’t have one in your closet now.
Here is the link to the solids: http://www.cityofoberlin.com/Recreation/RecreationPrograms/PlaygroundExperience.page
crap, totally wrong link:
http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-34-sleeve-ponte-half-band-wrap-dress/id_264381#
This made my entire day. I’ve already ordered both the colors they had in my size.
I feel ridiculous how much I love this dress.
You and I must be body twins – I’m ordering two right now. Thank you!!
I tried to order one for my daughter and her size is sold out! Damn you Corporettes:). Nah, my fault for not acting sooner.
And I just ordered three dresses… fingers crossed they arrive by next Wednesday when I have a big meeting! This would be perfect for that.
I have this dress too and it’s pretty awesome. Might be a little low-cut for many workplaces, but it’s fine in mine. Also I like that the purple herringbone color is called “Sour Grape.” Ha. That fox is just jealous because he can’t have my dress.
Pro tip: Unlike every single other Lands End dress I have ever bought, I needed a Large in this dress, not a Medium. The usual advice to size down for LE may not apply for this one.
I am going to order one. Do they run big like some of the other Lands End stuff? Also, yesterday I got a ponte black pencil skirt from Lands End (about $20 on sale) and it is absolutely great. Nice smooth fabric, good weight and drape, comfy, can tuck in a top and it doesn’t show through. Highly recommend.
I will be meeting with a senior person at my alma mater seeking career advice as well as job leads. I feel like I’ve hit a wall, I have a graduate degree but have recently figured out that I don’t want to teach i.e. become a prof in the long term. But at the same time I haven’t completely figured out what I do want to do. I know I like research, would also be interested in policy work, international development work etc. I’m sort of in an exploratory phase. However I also think that when asking someone for help it’s good to have specifics so they know where to direct you. Anyone have any advice for how I can maximize this chance to speak with this person who likely has many contact people? Thanks in advance!
Can you reframe in terms of skills? Instead of “policy work/intl dev work” talk about what you are interested in doing. Using your research skills? Writing? How do you see your degree contributing to a company’s bottom line. If you don’t have answers to those questions that might be a useful thing to explore with your contact “I’m interested in policy work, because it will use x, y, and z skills which I have from my education, but I’m also interested to hear where else you think those skills might be useful”
Thanks for the tip. Those fields are currently of interest because I think I could use my research skills.I also do like writing. Will definitely keep this in mind.
Make a list of job titles/positions at organizations that you think you’d like. Then your contact could potentially put you in touch with people who hold similar roles and you could learn more about the work and how they got there.
Noted. Thanks for the tip!
Forgot to add: in this sort of interaction, how do you make sure you are not closing any doors by expressing what you don’t want to do? It may sound like a strange question but I am also wary of sounding negative or too picky…
Just focus on what you do want to do. Rather than saying, “I am sick of writing quick & dirty email memos,” say, “I’d like to work on my writing and be able to spend some time on some longer writing projects.”
I work in one of those fields and I would do some further reflections about what aspects of those potential fields appeal to you and what existing skills you may have may help you in that field.
It’s really hard to figure out how to help someone who just says that they want to go into “international policy” there are so many sub-fields that that really doesn’t narrow it down all that much. Also, just saying you want to do international policy makes me feel like the person asking for my time hasn’t actually put that much though into this and isn’t taking this seriously and so I’m less likely to expend my own contacts on someone who isn’t going to follow through.
When I went through a similar exploratory phase a couple of years ago, I made lots of lists to help me cope and direct me on my path. First, I made a list of all of the non-negotiable things I would want my next job/ career to have, from the small and silly to the big stuff (must be business casual or business dress- I love dressing up!; must require critical thinking, strategic planning). I also made a list of things that I am hands-down, no-argument awesome at, especially good feedback skills/ qualities that I have heard from multiple managers or teammates over the years. And finally, I had a list of things that I wouldn’t excel at. Not a list of things that I didn’t *want* to do, but skills/ capabilities that I struggle with, and *could* do as part of my job, but ones that should be minimized in the best interest of all parties involved. Making these kinds of lists before meeting with mentor-types helped them narrow down fields that might be of interest to me, especially that I might not have picked on my own, and from there I was able to do some of my own research to find a career path that I could be excited about and truly love.
Br3astfeeding TJ. Sorry ladies but I’m having a tough time with pumping/studying/sleeping. My baby only takes 1 feeding in the morning and she takes the whole feeding from one side. I only pump once before I pick her up from daycare at 5pm. Sometimes she takes one feeding before she goes to bed at 6; sometimes she doesn’t take a feeding at all. She sleeps through the night (yay!) but that means I’m only able to nurse once, maybe twice, a day. She has 9oz by bottle during the day at daycare. Am I doing sthg wrong? How can I get used to so few feedings without weaning?
Forgot to mention – I do plan to discuss this with my pediatrician when I see her on Monday for our 4-month checkup.
So just to be clear, you nurse her in the morning before daycare, pump once while she’s at daycare and get approximately 9 oz, and then nurse her once before bed? So 2-3 nursing/pumping sessions in total?
Can you pump a second time during the day, maybe spaced out 3 hours after you feed her and again three hours after that? I would be worried about supply tanking as well with only 2-3 nursing/pumping sessions in the day.
You should also check out KellyMom if you haven’t already. It’s a great resource for all things b’feeding related!
I’ve read Kellymom extensively and I have to say, I find it really difficult to navigate. Thanks for the rec though.
Are you producing a lot when you pump? Do you always offer the other side in the morning? Are they feeding her formula or solids at daycare? Is she gaining weight appropriately? How many feedings does she have on the weekend? 9 oz is not a lot for a baby that age to eat in a full day! It may be that your milk is really plentiful in the morning or she doesn’t eat a lot, but there may be something else going on. Look at kellymom dot com – they have a lot of information. And definitely ask the pediatrician.
I produce 8-10 oz in 8-10 minutes when I pump. I pump both sides. I offer her the other side whenever I can. Daycare doesn’t give her anything except what I give them, which is pumped milk. No formula, no solids (she’s not even 4 months old yet).
Before she started daycare, she was nursing 11x/day, smaller feedings, so I am very concerned that she just doesn’t like the big feedings she gets at daycare. She never used to spit up (maybe a few times per week; it was very rare) and now she spits up multiple times per day, so I know that she doesn’t need bigger feedings when she does get a feeding.
How many hours is she at day care? I would estimate about 4-5 oz for every 3 hours. Does daycare split the 9oz into smaller, 3-4 oz increments? Some babies just reverse cycle once they start daycare and eat very little during the day and eat more when mom is available for nursing.
When I was nursing, I had a super long commute and worked long hours, so I could only nurse once a day. I tried to make up for it on the weekends, and I also pumped a lot because I had supply problems. My baby ended up self-weaning at 7 months, so I just pumped until he was 12 months. If your baby is growing and and in the same size percentiles and you are not having supply problems, I wouldn’t worry about how the baby is getting food in.
I agree with the others: if baby is growing well, it kind of doesn’t matter how many times you nurse or pump. I ended up needing to pump on a very regular schedule when I was away from my babes, because I didn’t have overproduction, and I was always chasing my supply. So, I pumped 2-3x a day at work for no less than 30 minutes at a time. Yeah. Hey cow!
If you can maintain your supply with what you’re doing, and you aren’t overly uncomfortable when you get to 4-6 hours past a pump/nurse, then stretch it and keep on keeping on. If you ever notice a drop in your supply while pumping, or if baby seems to be needing more (like going to that other side), then be sure that you supplement pump or nurse whenever possible. We say that nursing is a “supply & demand” but it’s really demand & supply. If nothing demands of your b00bs, whether it’s baby or the pump, then your supply will probably drop some. However, you might have found the happy medium that is perfectly getting you by. I never achieved that, but I was also very consistent with my pumping. I suppose if I dropped a pump at work, it would ultimately work itself out, but I was too scared to lose all BFing to try that.
kellymom is the best. If you can squeeze it in (i know you’re busy) go to a breastfeeding circle or a la leche league meeting. IME, pediatricians know very little about nursing. The general rule of thumb is that you need to nurse or pump about every 3-4 hours per side to keep your milk up. Nursing is way more efficient than pumping, so you should try to get baby to nurse on each side in the morning.
My impression of some of those breastfeeding resources (not kellymom) is that they are very breastfeeding oriented and look down on pumping. And if you’re not with your baby for a big chunk of the day, it’s clearly pump or nothing! In my experience, pumping can be very efficient, too. Just to put that out there so that if you get pushback, it’s not just you.
Thanks kc esq. For me, pumping is way more efficient than nursing. I went to a LLL meeting to try to ask about this and the LLL leader was pretty insistent that I should spend more time with my baby. Obviously I would love to; I just can’t right now.
One way to keep up your supply is add more pumping. A quick way is to pump the other unused side in the morning (either simultaneously if you are that coordinated, or after the feed if you are like me and aren’t that coordinated). I always had supply issues, so I pumped every morning (including weekends). You should also pump if you are skipping the after daycare feeding.
Most breastfed babies take 19-30 oz (24 is an average) of milk per day, so one am feeding plus 9 oz of milk at daycare is probably on the low side – but if she’s gaining weight appropriately than thats fine. Weight gain is the key to everything – even if she’s following the 10th percentile growth curve (like my kids always were) that’s fine – it when they drop from one percentile to a much lower that you need to be concerned with getting more milk in her.
Yeah I think she is on the low side (of how much milk she’s taking) right now and that’s why I’m concerned. I don’t have an infant scale at home so I really can’t weigh her (my scale isn’t sensitive enough unless she’s gaining a pound or two). I don’t have any problems with my supply (fortunately) so adding pumping sessions won’t really work (also I have nowhere to store more than 2 bottles of milk, so I would have to pump & dump, which is just horribly annoying to me).
I would seriously consider an appointment with a lactation consultant.
Also, you can just get an insulated storage bag and store bottles of milk with an ice pack. It should be fine for the day. No need to pump and dump.
Finally, you should DEFINITELY raise this with your pediatrician.
I don’t want to be alarmist, but that does not sound like she’s eating enough milk. In your shoes, I would either
1) add in another pumping session, either during the day or in the evening, to send more with her to daycare. As another poster says, you should have no problem storing the extra in an insulated bag with ice packs. My pump bag was actually big enough to store 16 oz of milk.
2) Or, alternatively, send formula. No shame or problem in supplementing if it’s not possible to pump enough for her needs.
Also, it’s awesome that she sleeps through the night and all, but if she’s not getting enough during the day, you may need to wake her up for another feed. My daughter is on the small side, and I did that from birth-9 months; I added an extra feed in around 10 pm, just before I went to sleep myself. Google “dreamfeed” and you’ll get advice on how to do it without disrupting her sleep.
I would like to hear some of the hive’s strategies for managing stress. I have underlying issues (depression, hypothyroid) that I am treating, and staying on top of pretty well. However, I am a stress under-eater and it causes problems. I’m not anorexic. Period. But, when I get stressed, the idea of food, the smell and sight of food totally turns my stomach. I take zofran to get over the hump just enough to be able to eat, but when I’m feeling OK, I still find myself unable to think about eating without feeling queasy.
I recently had to quit my gym (that was so wonderful) for financial reasons, but I know that going back to the gym will really help me out. I have never been a self-starter/self-motivator, so despite all my efforts as an adult to lose weight, the only thing that worked for me was the gym. I love it, and I miss it, but right now there just isn’t money in the budget.
I just want to feel normal (physically) again, but lately, I don’t know exactly what that feels like. What are your strategies for a) dealing with stress, and b) stimulating appetite/eating when you don’t want to?
Is there any way you could get into exercising without the gym? It’s summer in much of the world right now, maybe there’s a nearby park or trail that would be relaxing to regularly walk, jog, or bike through.
Have you talked to whomever you’re working with about your depression about your lack of appetite? I think that would be a good first step.
I am also a stress under-eater. I dropped a bunch of weight at one rough point in law school and people thought I was ill. I found drinking my calories to be easier to stomach than eating. When I couldn’t make myself eat, I’d drink those protein-laden Odwalla drinks (chocolate flavored!), which fill you up but are easier to get down than food when you just hate the thought of eating. Obviously it’s not a substitute for real food and proper mental health care/stress reduction techniques, but it works in a pinch. I also drank delicious soups as often as I could. Good luck to you.
Can you stomach drinking better than eating? I’d try making protein shakes and keeping them in an opaque thermos so you don’t have to see them. If blander-tasting things make it easier for you, I’d use silken tofu as your protein and mix in mild-tasting fruits and veggies like bananas, canteloupe, spinach, and carrots/carrot juice.
I’d like to co-sign this post! I used the Odwalla drinks cause I had zero time to prepare anything for myself (also no blender), but this sounds like it’s probably healthier for you if you can swing it.
I’m also a stress under-eater and frankly I just force myself to eat something good for me at regular intervals to keep myself on track. It is not fun but it passes, and I know I feel much better when I do this than when I eat only when I’m hungry and end up exhausted and losing weight/strength. I’d also cosign drinking your calories–smoothies, with fruit and some protein, might be easier to stomach than cooking a heavy meal. Is there any way you could do workouts at home, without a gym/equipment? I know if you live with downstairs neighbors that can be an issue but it was a tremendous help to me when I was broke and depressed while in law school. Or, there are cheapo gyms like Fitness 19 or Snap that have pretty cheap plans and pretty decent equipment, in my experience. I know Snap has some discounts they give out to go with certain insurance plans, too.
I hope this passes for you. It’s miserable. Hopefully your doc has a few helpful ideas as well.
Thank you guys for your responses. I have thought about liquids for sure, but haven’t gone that route just yet. I keep my fridge stocked with fruit & yogurt (YoBaby is the best!), so I am at least eating something relatively healthy. I find that apples & peanut butter are good bets.
Thanks for the ideas!
If you know the gym works for you & you loved your gym, I’d find a way to make that work – list out all that you’re spending money on and cut something out that makes you less happy. I’ve found keeping things in my life that make me really happy matter so much.
On stress in general – just taking a walk, getting outside and in the world for a few minutes does wonders for me. So does laughing with a friend/sharing your issues – talking about them puts them into perspective.
On food – I also under eat when stressed, but don’t worry about that so much – you’ll eat when you need to. I second the juice suggestions and would add evolution juices are great (I’ve been seeing them at starbucks lately, too but I’m in CA so not sure if they’re national).
lisa,
I just wanted to let you know I really liked your pick yesterday and today!
Thank you very much!