Tuesday’s TPS Report: Double-Stripe Cap-Sleeve Dress

152 Comments

1. That dress is blue and black, right?

   1. I hope I never hear another blue black white gold dress again. This site is like my grandmothers emails sending me jokes from 7 years ago

      1. You’re fun.

   2. Damn, you beat me to it! “Lovely shade of blue. The black accents are kind of dark though.”

   3. I was going to post the same thing…

   4. Same here.

      1. Haha! That was my first thought!

         1. Me too! Glad we’re all on the same cheesy wavelength.

            1. I have no idea how that joke was avoided in this post; I had to check the date to make sure it’s not 4/1 yet!

            2. heehee, i’m jumpin right on this cheesy bandwagon. ;o)

   5. But this dress is actually pink and white, right? When you click through, the description says “light mauve.” I have trouble picturing a “light mauve” as “gold,” although it arguably looks gold in the full length picture.

      1. I have this dress — it’s cream and mauve. It’s not white and gold.

      2. The stripes look like a shimmery dusty pink to me when I click on the zoom photos.

         This color scheme doesn’t really seem office appropriate unless you work in an arboretum office.

         1. I really wish I worked in an arboretum office.

   6. I think it’s gonna be a long time before those jokes get old. I came home the other day with blue and black kinesiology tape on my ankle, and my son’s immediate reaction was, “nice white and gold tape!”

   7. Ha!

   8. EXACTLY what I thought;).

2. Following up on last week’s thread about “closet smokers” . . .

   I was one until this morning. I still maintain that most people didn’t know! But I decided that the time has finally come to just stop smoking. Even my 1 to 2 a day cannot be justified anymore. And really, a lot of the comments I read on here prompted me to just do it.

   So this morning, I had one, and then I threw out my pack and my lighters. And I told my fiancee and close family members that I’m quitting, so they will hold me accountable. To be honest, I am really anxious about it! Changing my routines is going to be SOO hard. But I know that in a few weeks, it’ll feel like normal.

   Anyway, thanks for the inspiration to quit!

   1. I read the Power of Habit and it was REALLY interesting. Tying quitting to some other goal/positive reward habit may help. Congratulations on taking this first step. Your loved ones and body thank you. Also, if things get hard, call your PCP, and see what things they recommend to help.

      1. Good for you! I’m in the middle of Greychen Rubin’s new book about habits called Better Than Before. I’m finding it interesting and you might find it helpful if you’re interested in another book recommendation. I also second the suggestion to read The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg (I think that is his name).

   2. That’s awesome! Good for you. You can totally do this. Please post again any time you need a refresher dose of inspiration/motivation!

   3. Congrats! I used to do the 1-2 smokes a day thing, too. The good news is that you’re probably not chemically dependent. The habits are much easier to break! I used to smoke on my way to work and whenever I took long drives – getting audiobooks to listen to while I walked helped me replace the walking habit, and getting a new car I didn’t want to ruin with smoke got rid of the car smoking immediately. You can absolutely do this.

      More motivation – I had never had a cavity until I started smoking. Just think about whether it’s worth it to get your teeth drilled.

   4. Congrats!

   5. Congratulations! You can do this :)

   6. Way to go! My dad is in his 60s and just quit smoking after 40 years – you can do this!

   7. You can do it! when I quit, for several weeks I kept up my routine around taking breaks, just without the cigarette. Giving in to the urge to go outside for 5-10 minutes at a stretch somehow made it more bearable. The routine of smoking was as much of a habit as the smoking itself, if that makes sense.

   8. good for you! I was a closet/sometimes smoker until my dad got diagnosed with lung cancer– huge flipping wake up call. He quit a few years ago after a stroke, and at that time had been smoking a pack a day for about 40 years. So, you can do it!!!

   9. OP here. Thank you for all of your support. It is making me think of this as an accomplishment, rather than dread it. I really like the suggestion of taking my 5 minute breaks outside when I really crave a cigarette. I’m going to do that, and just drink my coffee.

      THANK YOU!

      1. It’s a huge accomplishment, congrats! It does get easier as time goes on. I rarely think about cigarettes, though I can’t watch Mad Men without having major cravings. Steer clear!

      2. YAY! You can do it! Come here and lean on us if you are having a hard time. I believe in you!

   10. You definitely can do it! I quit on January 1 last year (2014) after being a one-a-day smoker for 12 years. After about 3 months almost all cravings were gone. You’re awesome!

   11. Congrats! Don’t forget that a slip up is not a big deal! If you need help (even to stay quit!) don’t hesitate to contact your state health department – most have a division that deals with tobacco and smoking and will have a list of cessation resources in your area or a phone counseling line that you can call.

3. Okay, I’m a junior litigation associate at a large firm, and I know making partner here is very unlikely. For that matter, after seeing the after-hours networking that’s required I’m not even sure it’s something I want. That said, I also don’t have that much interest in corporate in-house work, and I’m wary of moving to a small firm just because it’s hard to find out anything about those firms before jumping. I’ve talked to a few “of counsel” attorneys at large firms who work fairly regular hours, but aren’t expected to bring in business. I’ve also talked with a few “part-time” lawyers who put in 40 hours per week.

   Does anyone here have an of counsel or part-time job at a large firm? Would you be willing to describe what you do, what you like/don’t like about your job, and how much you make?

   1. Have you thought about government work? Their hours tend to me more regular than firms.

      1. I’m very much in the same boat as the OP, and I have thought about government work…but isn’t it incredibly hard to get?

   2. I used to have this (moved from big city BigLaw to smaller city RegionalLaw) and it was awesome. I was a bit overqualified (so the work was easy for me) and the hours were much better. I reminded me of when I was clerking. I got to talk to clients a lot and those clients were very appreciative (seriously: you must talk to clients; the smaller the firm, the more important that is).

      Then RegionalLaw merged into BigLaw and the economy got better and now it is all crazytown again. But I have a shorter commute and lower COL (important now since I’ve got children).

      Clerking? Govt? “Staff Attorney” at a law firm? Some do real work (Cleary DC, Sidley NYC), but it tends to be programmatic and predicable (at least what I can see from the outside. YMMV.)

   3. In my experience (and I’m not in NYC) to be successful in the long term as a PT attorney or counsel at a big firm (and by successful, read, not get dumped on all the time) you really need to be some type of specialist in an area in which they have a continued need – think a specific tax area, ERISA, unique litigation, etc. If your goal is to be in a role like this, I would focus on specializing within your current role and become indispensible. Otherwise, the work they give counsel or PT people with no clients of their own is too easy to give to contract attorneys or associates, thus obviating the need for your role.

      1. +1. I knew two PT specialists in one of my previous departments in biglaw – one was a tax guru and the other was a drafting whiz, so they were kept around because they were efficient and made the firm money. They still worked a lot, though!

      2. Agreed. Regulatory work often results in being made counsel where you have some set of specific knowledge that is both necessary and partner-advanced but no desire to be a partner. I think it’s a mistake, however, to pursue that too early in your career. Counsel opportunities are, IMO, few and far between.

   4. Counsel isn’t always an easier alternative. Essentially you are a service attorney (although maybe at partner experience level) and are often dependent on other lawyers and their clients for work. Most counsel roles are limited to specialized/regulatory areas of expertise. You still face the pressures of making hours, answering to clients, etc. but you may not see the same level of bonuses/rewards even though you are doing the same work. If the work slows down and you don’t have business development skills, then you have a harder sell as to your value to the firm.
      Re: finding out information about small firms- this is where your network comes into play. Find people who have worked at those firms and see if they are willing to talk to you about their experience. I’ve been on both sides of this conversation and it provides helpful insight.

4. In light of skimming yesterday about washable pants, what do you do when the creases don’t really line up well? I have a few pairs of pants where, if I put inseams together and crease, then the crease migrates around the outside of my leg so that it’s not straight. If I want them straight on my legs, I have to “twist” the leg-fabric around and crease in an odd place. How do you deal with this, or do you?

   1. This kind of twisting can be caused by the pant legs being cut off-grain – if the fabric isn’t cut exactly on grain it spirals. Unfortunately this isn’t really something that can be fixed once the pants are sewn up.

   2. I’ve had what I think is a similar thing happen with shirts, and found that air drying (with the shirt aligned correctly when laid out to dry) helped.

5. I would like to find a good non-technical gear raincoat like the Boden Mac. Are there any others out there that aren’t $200, that are of similar style/type? I love the prints, and the cut, but I’m a little hesitant about the cost. Vicarious shopping? I’m petite XS/0-2, and can totally wear a kids’ size as well. I tried Boden kids, but they don’t have anything.

   1. I have a really cute Hatley raincoat – navy with a white anchor print – that is great. They have it in a bunch of other prints and solids on the website. Mine was on sale for about $90, but I think they’re regularly under $200.

      1. I have the same one! I love it as it adds a little bit of fun to my day.

   2. My cute raincoat in London Fog. It’s pink – not patterned – but definitely not boring.

   3. Boden has a 40% off sale today. If the Mac is what you want, the price is down to $106-124.

      1. This — and go for it, I have the Boden Mac and get compliments every time I wear it.

      2. My wallet did not need for me to know this.

         1. +1

   4. Rue-la-la has a rain gear sale today.

6. I know that there have been plugs for the Jones New York sale recently, but I just want to add that some of the suiting — which includes a few dresses — has sale on sale right now. For instance, the “Emma Seasonless Stretch” blazer is only $12.50 after the sales. Some pants are similarly low after the discounts.

   I ordered a bunch yesterday. (Of course, I had to try a few of the Emmas!) I’m not sure what all I’ll keep — I’m building my work wardrobe — but for those prices, I don’t mind paying return shipping.

   1. I will just add, for plus sized readers, many of their pants have elastic in the waistband (so much so that it’s obvious). There are a few pants that don’t (the zoe, the grace ankle), but it gave the old professor look to much of my order. Their washable wool pencil skirt is AMAZING and I say that as somewhere who hasn’t worn a pencil skirt in a few years, due to fit.

      1. Yes, I was not pleased about the elastic in the waistband- however, when I have them on it isn’t noticeable unless your are close, and its a pretty high waist so my shirts hide it with room to spare.

         I also wear a suit 1x per year or less, and I needed a suit in less than one week, so I kept it. I would never have paid full price for the pants or jacket though – but at around $120 for full suit (including shipping and returns) it was worth keeping for my purposes.

   2. Wow, thanks for the suggestion! I am in between sizes and needed a few jackets.

   3. No need to pay for shipping. Sign up for their free rewards program and you’ll get free shipping and return shipping.

      1. I dont think theyve had that for a while

         1. Not sure if you can still sign up, but I still have it, free shipping both ways and 10% discount.

         2. I still have it too. I don’t see the link on their site but worth calling to ask.

7. Grrr. I have terrible bronchitis and a stuffy nose and my right ear is clogged to the point that it hurts and my hearing is muffled. I’ve seen the doctor’s assistant twice, but she says she won’t give me antibiotics until it has been a full 2 weeks, which is Thursday.

   Instead she has prescribed 2 inhalers (one regular and one for asthma), flonase, advil cold and sinus, nyquil, and a humidifier. She has also told me to sleep sitting up, which basically means don’t sleep.

   Any exertion results in a coughing fit. The only improvement I’ve had is that I can breathe now. I’m in the office today, because my boss was beginning to get suspicious, but the commute was a killer and my boss basically told me to go home.

   Since I’m here I’ve got an appointment to go to the wellness center on campus, where (fingers crossed!) they might put me on antibiotics and then I’m leaving at 1.

   The physician’s assistant is new and perky, but I am not amused. You know who else is not amused? All the people on the T who got to sit near me.

   1. Go back, talk to your doctor, and demand some antibiotics. I had a cold for 10 days resulting in a full blown sinus infection, I’ve been on 2x day antibiotics for 4 days now and I still have pressure/pain, only now its mostly bearable. The OTC meds are not going to help with an infection, and if you keep this up you could wind up with something worse.

      1. Bronchitis =/= sinus infection. Antibiotics do not help viral infections. If your doctor thinks antibiotics are warrented, fine, but don’t be that pushy patient who screws the rest of us over on antibiotic resistance.

         1. For real. My husband is down to only IV antibiotics because of resistance issues.

      2. Antibiotics don’t help viral infections. And if after 4 days of antibiotics you’re still in pain, you don’t have a garden variety bacterial infection treatable by your prescription. That said, finish your prescribed course!

   2. Have you tried a neti pot? I find it really helps my ear congestion – especially if you put some Afrin in it. I also really like the vicks inhaler if you get a nostril open enough to breath it…

   3. While I haven’t seen you, from what I read, the PA is doing the right thing. It’s likely viral and it sucks but the antibiotics are not going to fix the symptoms. Sometimes colds do turn into bacterial sinus infections but it’s rare. I don’t recommend “demanding antibiotics”. There’s a reason why doctors go through explanations of why colds/bronchitis’ are viral and don’t require antibiotics and try to prescribe other symptomatic treatments. It takes a whole lot longer to have these discussions and it would be so much easier to just hand out the antibiotics to everyone and send people on their way but it’s the WRONG thing to do.

      1. +1

         Sorry you’re so uncomfortable, but the treatment sounds reasonable. Sometimes being sick just stinks.

         I’m also a big fan of the Neti pot.

         If you were 70 years old and immunodeficient, I would have a different recommendation.

      2. Thank you for this.

   4. yeah, bronchitis is something you wait out. It sucks. The more important thing is not antibiotics, but rather cough suppressant so you can rest and sleep. You need some serious depressants like benzonatate and/or cough syrup with c0deine. My favorite combo (since I can’t take any kind of cold meds of any sort) is a syrup of codeine & phenergan. Knocks me out so I can sleep. I find that if I can sleep through the night a few nights in a row (without coughing till 2am and then not sleeping), that my bronchitis/chest cold goes away a lot quicker.

      1. I’m allergic to codeine and yes, I’ve also been using a neti pot. I’m also having sinus pain.

         1. There’s plenty of other serious, Rx-only cough suppressants that don’t have codeine – that’s what you need to demand. Sleep with a bunch of pillows, even if you usually only sleep with one – that’s what the PA should have said, not “sleep sitting up.” You’ll be elevated but particularly if you’re on a cough suppressant, you’ll sleep. If you have a comfortable recliner, try sleeping in that – same effect. Since you’re having sinus pressure, you might end up needing antibiotics, but the health center should be able to tell you whether your PA is being annoying or is correct.

            Hope you feel better!

         2. If you’re having yellow/green goo, then you need to go back. If not, you’ll have to wait it out. Because trust me, there is nothing more horrible than being anti-biotic resistant.

            One trick I’ve used is to use Affrin, then to neti pot. This way your passageways are less swollen so you can get stuff out. Then follow up with flonase.

            1. Or hot shower to loosen everything up, followed by neti pot.

         3. I used to get yearly bronchitis and I would get the coughing fit that wouldn’t quit. I actually pulled muscles in my ribs and shoulder from coughing so hard. I tried all of the prescription cough remedies and none of them worked for me. The only thing that helped was having a little bit of whiskey in a hot beverage. At home I made full on hot toddies. At work I would often do hot water w/ lemon and honey and a teaspoon or two of whiskey. Never enough to get a buzz and my boss actually knew (and encouraged) me to do this because I was intolerable while coughing. My doc said that the small amount of whiskey throughout the day was no worse than the narcotics they had tried on me. I of course didn’t take them together. Try it out and see if it helps! I’d go w/ a full shot for your first “dose” if you can and scale it back from there.

            I stopped getting yearly bronchitis when I got a cpap. Not sure if it was actually related or not.

            Feel better soon!

            1. Also, did your inhaler come w/ a spacer? I’m not sure if you need a prescription for one but they are about $30 and sold behind the pharmacy counter. It is a big long tube that you breathe through w/ your inhaler. It gets more of the meds into your lungs and less in your mouth. It makes the inhaler more effective.

            2. This is a old wives story ( I am an old wife), but for the nighttime coughing, coat your feet in Vicks Vapo Rub and put on heavy socks. It seems to work. Don’t know why.

            3. Call the PA back and ask her to call a spacer in to the pharmacy for you, your insurance will probably cover it if it’s prescribed and it definitely helps.

8. This is my last week at a job that I adore (I “time out” of my federal job shortly). I am starting my new gig on Monday. I have completed my substantive work, and I know that there are probably a thousand little things that I should take care of, but for the life of me, I can’t think of them. Any suggestions on things to do with these last few days?

   1. Transition memo, appropriate work samples, contacts, draft versions of documents you created/always use (memos, agendas, etc.)

      1. OH! While you can and have access to your files/email, write down a few really great examples of your work there. This way you can answer those “name your biggest accomplishment/things you overcame at job X” if you need to interview again.

   2. Following, because I am also starting a new job on Monday!

      I made sure to save all of my personal files and anything I may want to reference later, such as contact lists or templates that I made, to my google drive. I also plan to go out to lunch with my friends from the office and send out a farewell email with my personal contact information. If I get really ambitious and have the time, I may send personal thank yous to people that have been particularly great.

   3. It’s my last week too! I’m finishing up transfer memos and cleaning out my office for whomever fills it next.

   4. Yay! Great Dress, Kat, and even I can wear the HOROZONTAL Stripe’s, at least for now, tho I worry about the horizontal stripes on my tuchus make’s me look a little wider then I actualy am. FOOEY!

      We are now moveing into our office. I am here already! YAY! My office has two window’s faceing another tall building, and I can see sunlight. We are ONLEY on the 3rd floor, so I can see out to the dumpster and if I look sideway’s I can see another building. They moved all my boxes in, but Lynn won’t be in today. She has not been feeling well. I wonder if Mason got her pregenent? He has been living in her apartement and she has had a sore throat for a while. I will have Frank help me unpack. I am wearing jean’s and a sweatshirt so he can have NOTHING to oooogle! YAY!!!

      My dad want’s me to meet the son of his freind from Long Island. I have met so many loser’s who are releatives. Dad also said he is thinking of having me meet some guy from Virginia whose son is in the goverment. I do NOT want to go back to DC, even tho my freind Lori lives there and ride’s horses all day in Virginia. Even she could NOT hold on to her husband, tho she got a great divorce settelment b/c he was having sex with another woman and she got pregenent so he wanted to marry her quickly b/c of her religon. FOOEY! Why can’t I get a guy to marry me like that? All I get are guy’s that want to have me do thing’s to them while they just watch. DOUBEL FOOEY on guy’s that do NOT care about my need’s!

   5. If the place you’re working doesn’t have a public directory, make a list of people you’ll want to keep in touch with and their email addresses. Also, make a not of the HR people and their contact info in case you need to get in touch after you leave to straighten out any issues with pay or benefits.

9. I actually ordered this dress in both colors last week after seeing it in the store (tall sizes not available in store, hence ordering). It was stunning in-store so hopefully equally so when I put it on. The only thing I’m unsure about is the sleeves – I wish they were a true cap sleeve (with that inch of fabric underneath the arm to make it an actual sleeve – rather than just a cap over the top and then bare underneath. I’m not a big fan of armpit-at-the-office, but maybe it won’t be too noticeable once I try it on.

   1. Any thoughts on how much this will wrinkle? I really like it as a throw on and go summer work dress, but am worried that it would wrinkle like the cotton pencil skirts.

   2. I luuurve this dress but will stalk it until it goes on super sale, and then it will be sol d out in my size. It’s a great way to avoid spending money or ever owning any clothes I actually want.

      1. bahahaha, same thing happens to me! (and it’s already sold out in my size!)

   3. I love this dress – can you imagine it working for a 20th high school reunion? (Dinner, drinks, and dancing in the “rust belt” Midwest.). Or is it too office-y?

      1. I think it would work if you wear sandals as opposed to pumps.

      2. Ann Taylor has a more party like version right now that I just got and love. It’s a bit more of a fit and flare.

      3. Thanks for the responses, ladies!

10. Anyone else’s comments not updating? It’s held firmly at 3 comments on my browser, but on my phone I can see that there have been at least 15 comments… ran into this yesterday.

    1. I just refreshed the page. Cookie problem.

    2. Yes, I am having this issue too.

    3. I am not seeing them either, unless I refresh the page by clicking the address and then hitting shift+enter (in Chrome). Then I get the new comments

11. I hate the long tail of winter. I don’t want to wear boots any more, but wearing ballet flats is just silly when it is still 42 degrees outside! Ditto for tights.

    1. I’m wearing tights today too. I am soooo done with tights but it’s actually cold.

    2. You are absolutely right. I have no idea how to dress my feet in weather like this. Someone please help! Someone who has 4 seasons & not 2!

       1. 4 seasons here. 42 degrees is fair game for bare feet in shoes. Feels downright balmy after 0.

          Alternatively, socks in loafers/brogues/converse sneakers/booties.

          1. YMMV – it is warmer but my feet would still freeze outside without socks!!!

       2. I am wearing these booties (except mine are not croc embossed). LOVE. They’re low enough on the foot that they look flattering, they’re comfy, I wear them with tights and dresses, they also work with pants…. In short, they are my perfect transitional weather shoe. Now that I see the croc pair on sale, I am actually very tempted to buy another pair…

          http://www.6pm.com/sigerson-morrison-gabrielle-black-croc-embossed-leather?zhlfid=139&kpid=32929535&kpid=32929535

    3. It was 36 when I left for work this morning. It will be 76 this afternoon when I leave. I had no idea what to with that clothes-wise.

       1. Shorts suit with peep toe booties.

    4. I’m wearing dress pants and wedges with no socks because I couldn’t bear to look at my tights anymore.

12. How should you send a thank-you note after an interview if you don’t have email addresses for the interviewers? An old fashioned snail mail note seems crazy but it’s all I can think of. I have a telephone number for an HR person but no other contact info.

    1. I do an email and drop a note in the mail. That way all my bases are covered.

    2. Why does a snail mail note seem crazy?

       1. These are the thank you’s I remember the most… I interview a ton of people, too – it helps.

       2. I don’t mean crazy like they will think I am crazy, I mean it seems odd to me to send snail mail anything (could be my industry but I can’t recall the last time I mailed anything).

    3. Call the HR person and ask for contacts to email a thank you.

    4. I think the snail mail method is preferred in most instances and is not “crazy.” “Snail mail” is actually quite prompt if you mail the note in a timely fashion, only a day or two max if you’re mailing within the same city. Here in Chicago, if I mail something on Monday, it’s made it out to a southwest suburb by the next day.

    5. Call HR and ask for the email address. I didn’t have the email addresses for my interviewers, so I asked HR for them. She said they didn’t give them out, but she would forward any on. I wrote one for each of the six interviewers, and she sent them. I got a few thank you replies and the job, so I guess it worked.

13. Re-posting from yesterday’s afternoon thread, hoping to get some more input (thanks for the replies so far!)

    DH and I just booked a 10-day trip at the end of August to Berlin and Dresden. I’m looking for suggestions of things to do/eat/see. We love historic things (high on the priority list), great food, and outdoor activities. We’re early in the planning stages, so I’m open to anything. We do plan on renting a car to do some Autobahn driving, as well (between Berlin/Dresden). Any great gems I should make sure to check out? TIA!

    1. We did the same trip in 2006! Dresden is lovely. Brauhaus am Waldschlosschen is wonderful for dining. I also highly recommended taking a cruise on the Elbe River. When I was there, there were only one or two English tours a day, so book ahead. Schloss Moritzburg is pretty and doable in a day trip. Our favorite site near Dresden was Festung Königstein and the Bastei Bridge. You can also do climbing trips in the same area if that is your thing.

    2. If you love historical sites, consider taking a day to do Potsdam/Park Sanssouci. You can get an all-day ticket that gets you into all the buildings on the grounds… really beautiful, fun, and a nice change from the city. You can take the train but I doubt it’s a difficult drive from Berlin either.

       Favorite spots in Berlin included the Turkish Market on Friday afternoon (from Kotbusser Tor, walk down Kottbusser Damm towards the water and you should see it); Communications Museum (sounds weird but really a must-see!); Gemaldegalerie (small museum with beautiful collection); Pergamon (but it might be closed while you’re there unfortunately); and seconding Fassbender & Rausch. Also, the Topography of Terror museum is very well done.

       For date night I recommend Cookies Cream and Mio Matto!

14. Ads borderline NSFW-
    I am seeing an ad in the “sites we love” block for “the hottest sex scenes of 2014” from NYLON with a gif with motion with a topless guy and a woman tugging on the back of his pants.

    Kat/Kate, can you please get rid of these ads – I can’t install Adblock at work, but if I keep getting images like this I’m not going to be comfortable using this s!te on my work computer either. Or at least figure out how to make the ads appropriate for this s!te and relevant. I don’t mind seeing ads for clothes or shoes or things I’ve googled recently, but this block of ads is super annoying.

    1. I have some questionable ads in the “around the web” section

    2. +1 I caught that image in the corner of my eye and did a “wait, what did I accidentally click on?!” double take.

    3. Its funny, my links under “sites we love” are all super safe for work and I actually like them…

       Examples: Spring Shoe Guide, Hillary Duffs transition to edgy, a review of JK rowlings new book, how to get a summer internship, how to make your flowers last longer, something about beyonce…

    4. Same here. It’s really quite a suggestive ad – not appropriate for work at all.

15. What do you do when you’ve just had something you were preparing for go very poorly and you feel like a failure? I know what my performance gaps are and how to fix them, and this isn’t directly related to my work performance but would have helped enormously had it gone well. Thoughts on how to keep perspective and not beat myself up over stuff? It’s a really busy week so I can’t take time to relax until Sunday.

    1. Take some kind of concrete step toward fixing your performance gaps. It doesn’t even have to be something you do now. Maybe you’re not a good public speaker, so you enroll in toast masters. However small, taking a positive step toward improving my deficits always makes me feel productive. Then it stops being a missed opportunity and becomes a learning experience and step 1 on the path to self-improvement.

       The other thing I’d do is give myself a break. Everyone has moments when they feel like they failed at something. It’s okay. It’s not the end of the world and you’re probably being harder on yourself than anyone else right now. The only thing that matters is where you go from here.

    2. If some parts went well, highlight those first.
       If some parts went badly, acknowledge them, perhaps with a mild joke, and work to correct them.
       Seek support in friend/mentor.

       I had a great presentation in Baton Rouge and was really well-prepared and made a lot of great contacts. I mispronounced every Cajun place-name and our client contact drilled me on details so I will have to get back to him on them. My mentor here at work thinks that guy’s an a-hole. So, I’m working on the details now and correcting them. No big deal.

16. I’m not sure I would wear this dress to work. Feels more Easter brunch than office wear to me.

17. Help! I took 3 pairs of pants to the tailor and tried them all on this morning. To my eye, they are too long and make my legs look stumpy! But, I looked it up online and technically they are all correct (one is definitely a matter of opinion, less than 1/4 inch from the ground).

    Two questions: 1) what’s more important in fit, being technically correct, or being more flattering (to my eye, of course). 2) should the tailor fix it for free, should I pay full price again, or something in between?

    I’m going to try to take them back at lunch because I need them for a meeting next Tuesday and it took them about 5+ days previously.

    1. Did you try them on with shoes?

       I would ask a friend or someone else I trusted. Sometimes things look off to our eye because we aren’t used to them but they actually look better objectively (think of someone who is used to wearing a ton of make up who doesn’t like their face in a more natural state even though it looks better for daytime). Pants tend to be more stumpifying if they are shorter, not longer. The reason people tend to wear their pants longer is that it gives the illusion of length to the leg. The only exception being cropped pants that should hit right above the ankle bone to be the most flattering. If your pants are cropped pants, I take this all back.

       At any rate, I’ve had this happen with skirts, where the length wasn’t quite right, and the tailor has always fixed it for free. I’ve never tried it with more than one item at a time, but I don’t think that should make a difference if you didn’t get the result you expected.

    2. “technically correct” is often based on what should be flattering – so if it’s not, figure out what is and do that.

       That being said, if you told the tailor “take the hem up 0.75 inches”, or you tried them on and came to an agreed upon fit, then the tailor didn’t do anything wrong and I don’t think you have a case for demanding a discount. You might be able to see if they will cut you a deal/fix them for free because you aren’t happy with the result, but I don’t think it’s something you are owed.

    3. Out of curiosity, are you looking at them on yourself in a true floor length mirror? I’ve tried to assess this kind of thing without one (aka standing really far away from a bathroom mirror or looking straight down at myself) and was totally off base, so just throwing it out there. It might be worth asking a friend for input before you have to haggle with the tailor about it.

    4. Are you wearing the pants with heels? I think too short is a bigger risk in terms of pants being unflattering. Did the tailor pin up the pants and you agreed to the length? If so, I’m not sure why they would have an obligation to re-do them.

    5. To answer the questions above – my mirror at home is not very good, but my husband agreed with me that they look too long.

       I also don’t think they have an obligation to fix them for free – but they have a sign on the wall that says fixes are free within 21 days, and I wasn’t sure if this falls under that. I definitely take all the blame for 2 out of 3 not being how I want – we agreed on the length, but honestly they look longer than I expected – but the 3rd looks much longer than when she pinned them, like they weren’t hemmed at all. I don’t blame my tailor at all (for the 2), I’m just wondering what is standard procedure when something doesn’t turn out quite right.

       Also, yes, I’m wearing them with heels; I tried them on this morning with the same ones I came in for the fit with.

       Edit to add: I’m willing to pay for the fix and if they comp it I will still tip them as I appreciate it is extra work for them that I’m (at minimum) partially at fault for.

       1. My husband, at least, does not know what he is talking about on pant lengths for women. Men wear their pants shorter. Just a thought.

          1. I think you’re right. I’m going to take them home, move my mirror so I have a full perspective, and try them on with a couple of different tops. I have one pair of dress pants that I had tailored in the past and I now know are too short, so I think I’m overreacting.

             1. The tops should have nothing to do with determining whether the length of the pants is ok. When you’re wearing shoes, the pants should skim the bottom of the shoe.

       2. As long as they don’t drag on the ground, they are the right length. Shorter pant will make you look stumpy, in my opinion.

       3. And if they have belt loops, did you try them on with a belt? Or a tucked in top? Makes a difference.

    6. There is no true “technically correct” pant length IMO. Obviously, there’s an acceptable range, but how high you want the break on your pants is a matter of preference. I tend to like mine a bit high, both for aesthetic reasons and because I only wear flats. My husband’s pants would probably be considered a bit on the “low” side these days, but that’s because the fashion in menswear is a high break right now.

18. Looking for recommendations for mid-range ($80-$115) hotels in Istanbul. SO and I are staying at the Apricot Hotel in Sultanhet for 5 days before a trip to Cappadocia, and we need to book a place for 3 nights in Istanbul once we return. I’m leaning toward staying in Beyoglu…less touristy, good food and shopping? But need recommendations. Also, if anyone has stayed at the Apricot Hotel and does not recommend, please let me know! Thanks in advance.

    1. I stayed at the Apricot hotel a few years ago and it was fine!

    2. Hotel Daphne

    3. We stayed at Hotel Tulip and depending on the room, it could be loud at night but had an amazing breakfast and a nice sauna, pool, Turkish bath in the basement.

19. Favorite non-ballet flats for a more formal biz caz office, and how to style them? I fell in love with Johnston & Murphy’s pink suede oxfords, but couldn’t see myself actually wearing them, so I bought pink ballet flats with a 1″ heel instead. (Will link below because someone should definitely own them.) Now I’m looking for something along the lines of a loafer, but a bit formal, if that’s possible. Suggestions? And how to wear them with stumpy legs and thick ankles?

    1. http://www.johnstonmurphy.com/deena-piped-oxford/8723.html?dwvar_8723_color=Blush%20Shimmer%20Suede%2FWhite%20Patent%20Trim&dwvar_8723_width=M#start=1

    2. I don’t know if you can wear leopard to your office, but I am wearing a pair of leopard print, calf hair, pointy-toe flats from Dr. Scholls that I bought on Amazon. They are a little wide, so I understand the comments about ordering a size down, but I am really happy with them. They have a lot more support than the BP Move Over flats.

    3. Stuart Weitzman usually has a decent selection of loafer type shoes that are comfortable and work well in my more formal business casual office. I would link you to the 3 pairs I have but they’re from past seasons. I get them on discount on the 6pm website.

       1. In response to the styling part of your question, I wear them with slacks and a blazer. I stick to low wedges (or boots in the winter) when I wear dresses.

    4. I have a pair of Cole Haan skimmers that I really like and I think would fit the bill. If I can find a link, I’ll reply to myself with it.

       1. These, in the black saffiano: http://www.6pm.com/cole-haan-ambrose-skimmer

20. A close friend will be relocating to West Virginia (specifically, South Charleston). I wanted to get her a “welcome!” gift to her new city (a restaurant gift cert, or similar) – is anyone familiar with the area and do you have a recommendation? I know nothing about WV.

    1. I lived in Huntington WV for a while, so not the same, but we did the occasional trip to Charleston and also some of the local restaurants are the same. So FWIW — Black Sheep is a really fun burrito/pub kind of place (I’ve only been to the Htn location). Also it’s kind of a drive from Chas, but Hillbilly Hotdogs in Lesage is a local legend.

       Also I wouldn’t worry too much about South Charleston vs Charleston. It’s not that big of a town. :)

       Hopefully some actual Charleston people can also help you out…

21. I just purchased this dress today… half off at JCrew no-less, and an extra 20% off when I used my store card… what a deal! The dress is awesome – great for on the job attire, for church, or to wear to a graduation party- all of which I intend on doing! I love this brand, all the clothes I ever purchase from them fit so well. Anyways, just wanted to comment on this post!

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