Coffee Break: Emma Traveler 39

60 Comments

1. That bag is GORGEOUS.

   1. +1 -Wish they had the travel sleeve option in more of their colors

      Also looking for recommendations on bags that are beautiful and have travel sleeves.

   2. oh, i really want this. it’s so much less diaper-bag-y than my OMG. Granted, I probably can’t stuff 14 free-with-purchase clinique zippered pouches in it, but it’s SO PRETTY

      1. Me six months ago: I need pouches to organize my toddler’s and my own things in my bag. Me now: I need bigger pouches to organize my smaller pouches.

      2. You haven’t pouched till you’ve Cuyana-pouched. Mine are even monogrammed.

   3. SO PRETTY.

2. If I’m out of shape (I jog, but slowly — 1 mile is around 22 minutes) then what’s the best way to build up to something like Orangetheory? Just jump in?

   1. That’s what I did. I didn’t join orange theory, but I joined a local gym that has classes that have a similar format to it. I’ve done two classes so far. I’m horrifically sore, but I’m sure that will pass once I get stronger. I am sticking to two classes a week, spaced out enough that I have a few days to recover.

   2. Just jump in! Walkers and joggers are welcome and the coaches are usually good about offering modifications for every level. I was in similar shape when I started and I fell in love with it.

      1. Yup definitely jump in. I started OTF in February after never having a regular workout routine (mid-20s). I started barely jogging and using 5lb weights, now I run much faster and can lift a lot more (10-15 lbs for most arm exercises, 25+ for legs). You can very easily scale the workout to your needs and the coaches are very helpful.

   3. With Orangetheory, I would definitely say jump in. I’ve been doing it for several years now (with on and off consistency) and one of the reasons it’s so popular is because it’s scaleable. So when you’re starting out, you use lighter weights and walk/jog at slower speeds. As you get stronger, you bump it up. I’ve done it through a pregnancy and scaled back down. It’s a great community too – no judgment; everyone’s running their own race (at least at my studio).

   4. You can jump in. They modify everything to accommodate different fitness levels. When I started, I walked for a solid 3 months. Now I’m a jogger. (I’ll never be a runner.)

      1. Just an aside, I love OTF and have an unlimited membership, but that is literally my biggest pet peeve – everyone who even shuffles is a runner, not a jogger. My base pace is solidly 5.0, but my push is around 7.3 right now and all-out over 9.0. I am definitely running, but according to their metrics, I am a jogger because of my base. I wish they would get rid of the “jogger” designation.

         1. I guess I never thought of it that way. My base is a 5, my push is a 6 and my all out is 7-7.5.

            I often have to walk during my bases or I will never be able to reach the pushes and all outs, so I don’t consider myself a runner because I can’t complete everything per the instructions.

            But yes, you are running! Over 9.0 is impressive.

            1. Nah, girl, you’re a full-fledged RUNNER.

         2. Not that you asked, but ease off the push and focus on building the base (if you really want that “runner” slot of 5.5.+). Even bringing your push down into the sixes will help. Keep kicking butt in the all-outs though because I think those are mental hurdles as much as physical.
            I also hate the word jogger.

3. What’s your clothes shopping routine? Anybody have this down to a science? I feel like I always end up either impulse buying or staring at something on a website until it’s gone.

   1. Stare at my closet and make note of it when I find myself thinking “I wish I had x” because if I think of it often, it makes sense to fill that gap. Then I shop for that specific thing.

      I also stare at my closet and pull stuff out that I don’t like. No reason to store a blouse I always hate wearing, nor to keep giving it multiple chances to change its behavior. Time to set it free.

   2. I go through my closet 2-4 times a year and make some categories in my journal of things I should be shopping for. My current categories are pants for work, shoes that fit orthotics, lightweight tops with sleeves for summer, nude bra replacements. I try to note what I bought, on what date, and how much it cost when I do buy something.

      This is supposed to help me quit buying more black skirts and cardigans and impractical shoes. It works pretty well.

   3. It feels like it is a constant thing, because I keep lists of what I need to buy and am looking for the right pieces. I also keep lists of outfits with their gaps (like “missing shoes”) for the current season. I never buy out of season because I am short and just a few extra pounds can tip me into another size. When a new season starts, with generally focus on the shoes and the bottom half of an outfit, and then fill in the tops as I see things I like on sale. I am willing to spend more on shoes and pants, and will order a bit ch of stuff to try on at home, then buy duplicates.

   4. We have two seasons, summer and not summer. I haul everything out, assemble it into outfits and note what I am missing. That gives me a pretty specific list that I work from. I hang everything back in the closet in the outfits and just grab one every day. Miscellaneous stuff not currently in an outfit I keep in a holding zone and I start there when something in an outfit dies, to assemble a new look. Seeing the assembled outfits I know I have plenty to wear and that cuts down the impulses.

      1. You have given me a lot to think about. Hang outfits and grab one every day — mind-blowing. I wear mostly separates and trying to make something cute out of pieces every morning is hit-or-miss. The “misses” become very apparent when I see myself in the full-length bathroom mirror at work.

      2. I LOVE this idea! Will you please come to my house and organize my closet for me? j/k

         I need to do this. This is my new goal and by your suggesting this, you just became my new hero!
         Thank you!

      3. This is genius.

4. Reposting from yesterday hoping to get replies:
   Any recommendations for comfortable breakfast nook chairs with a small footprint? Even foldable is OK. We’ve gone through a few sets of hand-me down chairs and seem to like ones that have horizontal bars to put feet on. Other than that, it just needs to be small and comfy!

   1. the emeco navy chair

5. I moved from a city I may go back to someday and rented my house out when I left to the best tenants in the world. We now have an anniversary of sorts. I’d like to give them a gift of some sort — a nice meal? A gift card to the local Zabar’s equivalent? Just keep on not raising the rent?

   1. Omg no this is not a gifting occasion.

   2. I’d keep on not raising the rent. Not because you owe them a gift, but because good tenants are worth keeping.

      1. I think you do need to raise the rent b/c if you don’t, and you are subject to rent stebilazation, you just can’t make it up later. But you can mitigate the rent increase by giving them a rebate or a gift equal to a month’s rent. Dad did this with the condo he bought for Rosa when she was in college and now rents out. He says NEVER forego a legal rent increase b/c this is the fastest way to increase your equity in a place by returning it into your bank account to pay down the morgage. Yay Dad! Now I know what it really means to be a Mensa!

   3. just keep on not raising the rent. It would be weird to get a gift from my landlord, and I would much rather just not have a rent increase.

      1. +1

      2. +1 to just not raising the rent. I did have a landlord that gave us a baby gift when we had a baby, which was very unexpected, but also super nice and not weird. We also send one another holiday cards. So basically, don’t feel too weird about being nicer than average :)

      3. Yeah, it would be really annoying to get a gift card but also a $50 rent increase.

      4. +100000

   4. Ask if there are any little things theyve ot wanted to bother you about fixing? In x amount of time, y number of things will break, but as tenants we always we worry we will use up our personal capital.

      1. This, I would set up an appointment with a handyman to caulk and ask if there are any other items to add.

   5. I would make some kind of small, relatively inexpensive upgrade to the house – light fixtures, doorknobs, something that would cost the same amount but is an investment in your property.

   6. I’d do something for the house — send over a carpet-cleaning service, have someone go and do some landscaping, etc.

   7. Agree w/others on no gift. I’m a landlord and my tenants are pretty decent, but I would never give them a gift for anything. I will probably not raise the rent, though, since I know I could do much worse as far as tenants go.

   8. I am alot like you. I also am careful b/c while my overall weight remains within a 3-4 pound range, I tend to loose weight in the spring/summer, then put it back in the fall/winter, primarily around my tuchus, so I dare not buy the fall/winter line until it is time to wear them b/c buying to soon means they will be to tight in the fall/winter. This is sometime a problem, b/c all of the styleish stuff will be long-gone. So what I sometimes do is to buy size 4 and then have the tailor take it in if I am good and have a smaller “tuchusprint” (Dad’s word) in the fall. Otherwise, I just wear the size 4 as is (FOOEY!). I really wish I could go back to size 2 all year, but that is really a stretch. When I was in college, I was a size 0 and I can’t believe it when I look back at my yearbooks. If only I was as svelte as I used to be, I know I would have been married by now, but after a few kids, I probably would have the same tuchus as mom and Grandma Trudy. So in a nutshell, I guess I just can win either way. Why does this all have to be so difficult? I think Ivanka is the only one I know who has kids and still is so svelte! DOUBEL FOOEY!

6. I married into a family that sees each other once a year. My husband’s nephew is a not-old-enough to drive teen who is not mute but doesn’t talk to anyone (but will snap at his mother on occasion). He may take up a whole couch in the living room but not interact with anyone else but texts from time to time. Is this how some teens are now? [i have a nephew on my side that I see even less often but I’ve known him since birth and we are insta friends and we text.]

   I feel like I need to make an effort all around since I am both new and a visitor but I feel like I am at a loss here. Help!

   1. Why are you making a fuss over this? Just ignore it.

   2. I don’t (yet) have teens, but that sounds like more than normal sullen teen behavior. I’d be friendly, but leave it at that. He doesn’t want to interact it doesn’t sound like. I would not expect to suddenly be invited to follow him on insta. What does your husband say?

   3. It’s how some teens have always been, but if it makes you feel better you can blame it on generational differences.

      1. Right? I’m an old, and my brother was like this in 1993.

   4. I’m pretty sure that is how some teens have always been. I knew more than one of them in the late 90s

   5. Greet him verbally when you see him even if he’s flopped over the furniture (“Hi Teen, good to see you”) and be polite to him if he responds / indicates willingness for social interaction, but otherwise take your in-laws’ lead and, from the sound of it, ignore.

   6. I have an uncle on my dad’s side whom I have heard speak maybe three words in my entire life. My mom allows it to irritate her profusely, because surely all families should be like her family. Please don’t be my mom. I think Cat’s advice is great.

   7. My teen would probably do this. He’s a nice kid and funny as hell with people he knows well, but really awkward talking to strangers. I don’t think he’d take up a whole couch unless in our home. He’d probably leave the room if you walked in. He wouldn’t hate you. He just wouldn’t want to have a conversation with you.

      Just leave him alone. He doesn’t want to be friends with you right now. He might be someone you can have a conversation with once he’s 18-19 years old.

      1. My cousins who hated family time, hated having to engage, and really just hated everything are now perfectly pleasant and fun 18-22 year olds that are enjoyable to talk to and actually engage in family events. But for a few years it was like pulling teeth. They wanted to be on their phones if they HAD to be at a family gathering and, really, they didn’t want to be there at all. Very late high school or early college was the tipping point.

7. Seems like there are a fair number of dog people on this board, so I’ll give this a shot. My 4 month old puppy has started to pick up and chew on little rocks. She expelled one yesterday and gave us quite a fright. We’ve been told to get her out of that habit. Unfortunately many if not most of our neighborhood has some rocks as part of their driveway, landscaping or both, and our dog is constantly sniffing the ground, so even when she’s on the grass, it’s hard to tell what exactly she’s doing, whether it’s chewing on grass, rocks or nothing. Any suggestions on how to train her out of this? We are taking her to weekly puppy training classes and haven’t yet mastered “leave it” or “let it go,” (but she can sit and lay!).

   1. No idea about training it out, but our puppy did the same at about that age. He outgrew it and is a 13 year old dog now who (mostly) only eats food.

      1. Our pug is at least 10 yrs old (rescue) and sometimes tries to eat rocks. Sheared off half a tooth but continues to trundle along. Bless her heart.

   2. Ours did that around the same age. It was an attention getting strategy that we managed to get through by keeping on leash any time gravel was accessible, and then distracting and wearing out with play and training practice. I think it was outgrown by age 2.

   3. I’ve always had older rescues (so not familiar with puppy norms), but I’d make sure there isn’t a nutritional deficiency. Pica often goes hand in hand: https://www.petmd.com/dog/general-health/what-causes-pica-dogs

   4. My dog did that when he was teething – concrete chunks were his absolute favourite. He’s now a year and a half and has outgrown it. (He also ate three records, every new top I bought last summer, and a sharpie on top of the white duvet cover.) He steals shoes now for attention, but doesn’t nom them.

8. Are these just really expensive? I have very large, non-standard sized windows and we are going with double roller shades and I am having a bit of sticker shock. Doing the whole place at once since there is literally nothing on the windows now.

9. I saw a job posted today, it is a contract research position at a university, for those familiar with academia it looks like a postdoctoral position. I’m currently in a similar type of position, contract ends in April next year. I had posted in this forum about being in a situation where I was considering moving from current position because of issues with my supervisor. At the time the advice I got from ladies here, was to stick it out and build other skills e.g. data analysis instead of leaving in a hurry without a plan etc. I have no interest in being a tenure track Professor so I’ve been thinking of other areas I can move into.
   Which brings me to this position I saw today, the only reason I am thinking of applying is that it is the kind of work I have wanted to do for a long time. It is based in the university but involves interaction with government officials for policy related matters. The subject area is also something I am passionate about. At the moment my hesitation in applying is that salary wise it is the same as what I make now.This is my biggest worry and also despite it being a position I think would be interesting, it is still in effect a temporary position and at some point it starts to look negative if one has been in this career stage i.e. postdoc /research associate for a number of years. I will be 40 next year, I look young for my age but I do feel like I want to be more stable career wise and financially going forward. Also I currently live close to a large and very vibrant city, my social life has improved alot from what it was years ago. This is one of the reasons I have been thinking of leaving academia for good, previously I lived in places I did not like. This job is in a smaller town in the UK, I’m close to a much bigger city in Europe.
   My dilemma is should I apply for this position or should I forget it, close this chapter of my life and move on? If I did apply my current boss or colleagues would likely find out hence the careful consideration. I should also mention that the work is in collaboration with a highly regarded non-governmental organisation–one where I have previously tried to get into and didn’t work out. The first time I applied for a job and came in second, the second time I tried applying for an internship at a branch based in my country of citizenship–there were no suitable openings. I work in a very niche area so would prefer not to give the name of the organisation. The job has been advertised for one year, personally I would not mind doing it for that amount of time and moving on if I did get it. But the worries I have are as I have explained above. Advice please!

   1. Apply to this job and every other job that you want. Applying is not the same thing as accepting.

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