Coffee Break: Pyramid Tote
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I was going to feature another bag today (this Rag & Bone one on sale!) but then Google made me aware of this sale: Kaai, one of our favorite brands for luxury work bags, is having a sale. I've actually never seen them have a sale before, so this feels significant!
The burgundy color of this reader favorite bag was originally $895, but is now marked to $625… nice! This seems to be the only one of the larger pyramid bags on sale, but there are several of the smaller pyramid bags marked down to $595. There are several other nice work bags in the sale, including a north/south tote and a more traditional woman's briefcase tote.
Sales of note for 2/6:
- Nordstrom – End of Season Sale — winter styles up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – End of season sale, up to 70% off original prices — plus extra 25% off your $175+ purchase.
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off + extra 15% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance up to 70% off
- Elie Tahari – Great sale, up to 60% off! This reader-favorite sleeveless silk blouse is down to $50 from $198
- Express – $40 off $120, $75 off $200 (online only).
- J.Crew – Up to 40% off winter classics, + extra 30% off sale styles with code
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + extra 50% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Valentine's sale, up to 50% off — reader favorites include this laptop tote, this backpack, and this crossbody
- M.M.LaFleur – Save up to 70% off, dozens of styles now on clearance. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Neiman Marcus – New sale arrivals, up to 40% off. You can also earn a $35-$700 gift card with purchase of $250-$3000.
- Talbots – Free shipping on $150+, and members earn 3X style points.
I don’t understand why anyone ever spends over $220 or so for a bag!
I just don’t buy into the bags as status symbol thing.
I am not a big bag person, but I do spend on footwear. I have gotten some great boots that are not expensive, but the majority of the boot success stories that I’ve had (feet happy + boot has lasted several years if not > a decade) were $$$. Sometimes you get what you pay for.
I have some very lovely bags that have lasted quite a long time.
And I don’t understand expensive cars. We all have our thing.
+1 (although I have to admit I like expensive cars)
Me too. And shoes and bags.
I’m going on 6+ years on my Cuyana tote (preCOVID purchase) that has served as a work bag, carryon “personal item” stuffed to the brim and occasionally doubling as a diaper bag. I’m thinking it was $400ish when I purchased but can’t recall. The “price per wear” is a fraction of a penny at this point. I can’ think of any back that’s been $150 or less that could give me this kind of utility. Plus, it’s real leather so the fact it’s kind of scratched/beaten up kind of works… it’s “worn” in a stylish way?
Same. I am going on 9 years of daily (hard) use of my Cuyana tote and it barely shows any wear. I have never had any other bag last this long, taking the abuse that my bag goes through daily (my dog has grabbed it by the handles repeatedly, running around the house to tell me it is time to go and not even a tooth mark!!!). Definitely worth the price. I would have otherwise gone through at least five, likely ten cheaper bags over that time.
neither do I, but then I agreed for DH to buy a $1000 coffee machine…
I feel just the opposite. I’m willing to spend money on bags because they are one of the things that I get the most use out of that last the longest. I don’t need to worry about gaining or losing weight, style-wise they rarely change radically enough to look dated, and a nice one can “dress up” even a casual outfit. I also think it’s something where quality shows at a certain price point. I’m not a logo seeker. But honestly, a lot of those $250 brands look cheap, especially the hardware. It’s one of the few things, like shoes, where you sort of get what you pay for at a point. I’d generally put that tipping factor above $250 for a medium or larger-sized bag.
I am going to take your question as an honest inquiry and not as judgmental and unkind. I agree with you that any kind of luxury item, whether it is a bag, car, mansion, whatever, is not by itself a status symbol because it never tells the whole story, and anyone who purchases any of those things for that reason is likely not achieving that result. That said, personally, I enjoy quality and interesting accessories and am happy to spend my money on nice things. I’m not a fan of true “luxury” brands, especially those with logos on them, but I don’t believe this purse is that, and would happily spend on a bag if I want to.
I have one or two fancy handbags. I saved up; they were fun splurges. Very pretty and made me smile. Not really in the market for a new one. Who buys these regularly? Two kinds of people:
1. They have much, much more money than I do. Really and truly. I do fine. I have a great life. Money in the bank and a fancy car. House is the good school district. But there are people I know with just eye watering amounts of money. Not “husband and I both have good jobs money.” They have “we don’t work” money. They pick up the two thousand dollar handbag like you throw stuff into your cart at target and it really is nbd.
2. They want me to think they have much much more money than me. They don’t. They’re in debt.
Where are you finding good quality leather bags under $220 these days?
TJ Maxx?
And I can’t understand why anyone with money would ever spend less than $250 or so on a bag. If you want leather and durability and ethical craftsmanship that’s generally the minimum.
I’d reframe them as not so much a status symbol, as a price of admission item. What I mean by this is that it is just a part of complying with the dress code in certain circles. In those circles, your choice is whether you buy something that is more well known, or niche, but you still have to play the game. Now why I have I bought expensive bags? Reasons include, I liked the bag, it was prize after a big work win, I was on a girls trip, the bag made me laugh.
I bought this bag three years ago partly because it was unique and not a “status symbol,” and partly because it is functional and well-constructed.
I’m not a bag person generally, but this one is really beautiful. I’d get one if it was in the budget/fit my lifestyle.
Everyone appreciates different things. All wine tastes alike to me. Not particular about cars, but I really appreciate the craftmanship and leather quality of a fine bag.
I like nice bags. I can’t afford the ones I actually want (Prada, Chanel, YSL) but I think there is a real difference between bags from stores like Target and something like a leather (non-outlet) Coach purse. So I spend more than $220 to get that, but not thousands.
I’m curious what you all think of this. I have recently gone on a social media/news break because I realized it was all really affecting me and pulling me into a depression. Between ICE and the E files, I just can’t handle it. My friend thinks that I am “putting my head in the sand” even though the same thing is happening to her (she is on social media a LOT and she says her anxiety is at an all time high). I gently suggested maybe she should take a break too, and she responded that our Black and brown brothers and sisters have never been able to tune it out so we shouldn’t get that privilege either. I don’t agree with this but I don’t really know what to say. I feel like she is guilt tripping me.
This sort of woman really just needs to start a dog rescue.
Yes, one focused on female dogs. She’ll fit right in.
It will be the sort of rescue that demands that you can’t be away from the dog for 8 hours, like if you have job. G-d forbid you live in an apartment or don’t have a fully-fenced yard.
This legit made me LOL because I know exactly the type of person you’re talking about.
Ask her what she’s contributing or doing.
I guess she thinks staying informed is non-negotiable
You can’t fight back if you’re exhausted. Recharging is important. If she wants to attack people who are on her side then she’s doing more harm than good and should absolutely take a big step back.
I tune people like that out at this point. Emotional guilt trippers don’t have a place in my life. It’s a form of manipulation and I’ve never seen it come from a truly kind place. People often have good intentions or they do care about issues but when they start martyring themselves in this way, it usually isn’t good.
I have a friend like this who swears not posting on social media against all of this ((waves vaguely)) means you’re complicit. I, on the other hand, think if you believe that, you need to get off social media perhaps more than anyone.
She posts multiple times daily and, best I can tell, that’s all she’s doing. And she’s posting to her own echo chamber network (we live in a deep blue state and she’s never left – not for school or otherwise), so it’s not like it’s even being seen by any critical mass of people who need a change of heart on where they stand on issues.
That is like saying other people do not have food, so I am going to starve myself and spend my time watching videos of hungry children. No – I am going to both eat and contribute money and volunteer at the food bank.
I am taking steps (which given where I live is mostly giving money) to help. Making myself crazy in addition is just self-indulgent wallowing at best and virtue signaling at worst.
+1 that the important thing is doing what you can and that merely being miserable isn’t actually doing anything to help.
Tune her out. The outrage can be addictive. It’s easy to tell yourself you’re obligated to keep watching when you’re having a hard time putting it down.
Taking one week off from all news: Fine. I don’t see it as any different than putting away your phone on vacation.
Skimming headlines once a day: It’s enough to keep you generally informed without a constant stream of details. You don’t owe your friend in-depth conversations about all topics, so you can redirect if she wants to discuss current events. But I think you should read through a few major stories once a week.
Ignoring all news indefinitely: I agree this is burying your head in the sand.
This is where I fall as well.
I also think there is a big difference between reading the news and opening yourself up to every troll with a keyboard. I go to credible news sites and read headlines and skim. So, yes, most days I will see what either CNN and/or the BBC is saying. Part of living in a democracy and being a reasonably intelligent adult is keeping up with events, advances, etc. I think some of what got us (gestures wildly) here is that folks stopped consuming normal news. But that’s where I stop. Folks doomscrolling are doing just that–wallowing in doom.
I also try to separate informing versus doing. They are two different things as others here were quick to point out. I think both are important, but they are two entirely different things.
She has done you the favor of revealing herself to be cuckoo bananas and a bad friend. You can and should ghost her.
I think there’s certainly value in taking a break, however I have heard that many MAGA female influencers are telling their followers that now is a great time to take a break. Fear here is that instead of genuinely trying to protect their followers’ mental health, they’re using this break as a tactic to block this information from a group of women who may be swayed by seeing what is really going on on the ground. Social media is sometimes the only way to access the independent journalism that is showing the day-to-day reality out there.
yeah i noticed that from an influencer i went to college with – she was ultra christian then but apparently not enough to bear witness to the atrocities in MN and elsewhere.
Yes, there’s a see no evil thing happening in MAGA right now that’s clearly designed to protect people from facing who and what they supported.
I think you mean”support” rather than “supported.”
She is guilt tripping you, and it’s fine to set your own limits with the news cycle. It’s hard to fight back and advocate for change if you, too, are depressed and burned out.
The other thing that confuses me is the content creators who are railing on everyone to use their platforms to speak out. By all means, if you want to use your platform for that purpose, go for it. I hope you change minds and hearts! But I have no expectation that a fashion and beauty blogger will provide me with a nuanced, educated take on immigration, Epstein, etc. I will go to other sources for that. Instagram in particular has become this weird echo chamber, and frankly, when I go there, I’m looking for a mild distraction and to tune out for a bit. I don’t think that makes me a horrible, bad person who is sticking her head in the sand.
OK, that was quite the tangent, but OP, I hope you get what I’m saying.
Simply being aware of and taking about things doesn’t do any good. Maybe if your government has individuals with a conscience or you’ve got rich and influential friends, talking about things is helpful. But in the US right now? It’s more than fine to focus on the things you can change and tune the rest out so you can function day to day without crippling anxiety.
I always think of this post from one of the guys from Cracked: https://jasonpargin.substack.com/p/the-gravitational-pull-of-anxiety
I started reading this distractedly and realized it’s something I need to devote my full attention to later – it’s already speaking to me. Thank you!
There’s a difference between “tuning it out” and setting reasonable boundaries on your news/social media consumption. You can be informed, engaged, and useful (emphasis on useful) without overwhelming yourself with news/social media consumption. No one is helped by my doom scrolling or reading every think piece out there on the latest catastrophe. What useful result is accomplished for my black and brown brothers and sisters when I just consume consume consume news? Nothing. What is useful? Staying reasonably informed and taking actions: calling my reps, voting, donating to/volunteering with mutual aid groups, talking with people who are not likeminded but perhaps open to persuasion, etc. etc.
There’s a line in Adam Curtis’s Hypernormalisation about how much outrage over DJT’s election was redirected online to social media to be monetized. Since then I think there’s been an active effort to discourage people from doing any of those actions on your list (it’s hopeless, it’s somehow complicit, it’s risky, etc.).
I think if you are Very Online you’re drinking from a firehose with regards to liberal/woke whatever, and that’s what makes everyone else think liberals are insane. There’s just as much disinformation and rage-baiting in the liberal space as we all suspect there is in the MAGA world. I think picking a few trusted sources and reading them regularly is better than social media for this kind of thing. But if your friend is Very Online and you are no longer there then she probably misses that togetherness. if that makes sense.
I also think that it is important to distinguish between news and social media. While there is real journalism on social media, there is also so much performance and hand wringing that doesn’t communicate information but just stokes outrage and anxiety. Keeping abreast of current events is critical (especially in a dying democracy), but opting out of social media seems like a generally healthy idea.
I am a lawyer. I worked after graduating and then got an LLM part-time while working and am still in that field. I don’t ever mention that — it’s on my bio but it wasn’t recent and TBH was just a box-checking move vs really acquiring any new learning I didn’t already have from working.
An acquaintance has a PhD. She often talks about she has the terminal degree in her field. And then keeps on going with how a mere lawyer does not have that unless they are an SJD. I remember NYU offering that and no one I know has that and IDK who even would pursue that — law school is expensive enough and maybe you should not just do school but practice if you want to be a lawyer. But at any rate, it’s a weird thing for someone to put someone else down about (2-3 people in the event where this was said are women who were lawyers but then became SAHMs — I wonder it was aimed at them as a mom put-down). Maybe she was trying to make a snide comment to me but it would also be just a really odd thing IMO.
brush it off. An old acquaintance of mine talked a big game about how he was going to get a MD and PhD so that neither group could claim they were better than he was. Bro, the rest of the world does not care.
My MIL was like this towards me (a “mere” JD) but it was related to the fact that my husband started (but did not complete) a humanities PhD.
When she took me out to breakfast to try and get me “fix” this issue by nagging him to finish the PhD, I pretty much laughed in her face because he had happily gone back to his first career (as a lawyer) and it would have been a terrible financial decision.
MIL had a PhD in Psychology and basically forced her retired husband to get an online PhD so they could both be referred to as “Doctor” by everyone in a social or medical setting. All this to say, I am wary of any one who I meet in a social setting that mentions their PhD in the first half-hour or so.
I am an old, but one thing that motivated me to finish when I was slogging through my PhD was so that my husband and I could be referred to as Dr. and Mr. Anon.
Except I didn’t get married and my partner has a PhD, too, so. Oh well.
How does this even come up in conversation? You said some of the women were SAHMs so I assume this was a social gathering.
“I prefer not to talk about work during my free time. Have you seen any good tv shows lately?” should give her the hint that no one is interested. If she keeps going I’d be tempted to say “I mentioned I don’t like talking about work during my free time. Frankly it’s boring and I’m sure someone as smart as you must have more interesting things to discuss.”
In my experience phds get really weird about law degrees. I once got into a discussion with my friend who had a doctorate about her wanting to be called “Dr.” socially. I said it was weird and she said I’d feel differently if I had a doctorate. She was big mad when I reminded her my jd is, in fact, a doctorate. I think it’s because a law degrees are mostly seen as prestigious and practical because you need one to be a lawyer, whereas you can practice in other fields while earning a doctorate so it’s both less consequential and less public when you earn it.
I worry that law degrees are seen as easy to get (even though they sort of are), but law schools are no better than PhD programs for selling a program to naive young adults who think that there will be a job for them on the other side. For law, the degree isn’t the thing, it’s only an academic credential to get your foot in the door somewhere. The degree is hardy worth mentioning since it’s what you do after that that matters. It’s like high school — I’m glad if you enjoyed it but it’s not really worth talking about after the fact.
Right. I actually think it’s fundamentally different. In obtaining a law degree I was promised the ability to sit for the bar and little else. Lawyers are clear professionals but not well respected ones. Both corporate big shot lawyers and ambulance chasers like me are frequently looked down upon despite any financial success we might have. In obtaining a phd I think my friend was promised a sense of prestige and respect that I sensed she was disappointed never materialized outside of her professional life. Which I totally get but it’s still extremely silly to insist on being called “Dr.” at my wedding. Come on. It’s this sense that I recognized in the original post, a sort of demand for social recognition based on academic credentials that they feel is owed.
Hard disagree. i have a lot of respect for lawyers. I am not one but know for instance that product liability cases have made the world a better and safer place ( hello seatbelts ) and appreciate that even the most guilty person deserves a good counsel and a fair trial. Go lawyers!!
I have a JD but work in a job typically held by PhDs. I actually have more relevant quantitative training and research experience than most of the PhDs do. I find that non-PhDs, especially JDs, are more likely to judge me for not having a PhD than PhDs themselves are. It’s related to the phenomenon where lawyers, judges, and policymakers ask “is that statistically significant”? without any understanding of what they are asking or whether the question even makes sense in context.
Securities lawyer: is it material tho?
Love this!
This explains so much about the PhDs I’ve had to endure in PTA/school-adjacent settings! Once they found out I was a lawyer, it was like the condescension got cranked up a few notches (and they were pretty condescending to start).
Maybe it’s some kind of trauma response to friends/relatives/neighbors telling them to go to law school instead of PhD school?
FWIW, they also seemed flummoxed about all the EdDs, which is a pretty common degree for principals and administrators to have in my state.
I’ve always understood that a PhD in Education is one of the easiest degrees to get in general, and so they’re kind of looked down on by teachers and professors (who need degrees in their subject matter).
It sounds like your acquaintance with a PhD is insecure and doesn’t know much about law as a field.
I work in higher education and you just summarized my life.
bahaha AMEN to this.
I used to work in higher ed comms. We followed AP style in our writing so we only used Dr for medical doctors and I swear fully half my job was explaining to professors that no I couldn’t make an exception and call them Dr in the story.
Agree. That person is insecure and feels threatened by licensed attorneys. A JD is in fact a doctorate and it’s the terminal degree needed to practice law. That type of comment would irritate me but I would chalk it up to ignorance and insecurity, and really it’s good information because it tells you this person is not someone you want as a friend.
Funny enough, one of my family members has an MD, and dislikes being called “Dr.” in social settings and broadcasting that they’re a doctor. Obviously, they need this title when they are working in the hospital, treating patients, signing off on paperwork, etc., but it’s quite odd to be so condescending about degrees in most settings.
Even professional situations! To insist that your PhD is better than someone’s JD is just weird. And many fields don’t actually benefit from getting a doctorate degree… a bachelor’s degree is sufficient to earn lots of money and climb the corporate ladder.
So that’s fine if you want to think you’re better than someone because you went to school for longer, but most people realize that it’s a lot of time and money to keep getting degrees if your field doesn’t actually require advanced degrees to work.
And that is the kind of Doctor I like very very much.
She’s being pedantic about terminal degrees.
The JD is considered to be terminal, just like an MBA is a terminal degree and the MFA is a terminal degree. (There are actually doctorates in business and fine arts.)
The JD is terminal for licensing and professional work. The SJD is for research and even then, very few law professors have it.
Unless your friend thinks that like 90% of the Harvard Law faculty and 0% of Supreme Court Justices do not hold a terminal degree, she’s just being pedantic.
This woman sounds insufferable. I guess her entire personality is wrapped up in having a “terminal degree.” Not someone worth spending a moment thinking about.
Funny story: Before I went to law school I worked at an academic institution where it was very important and prestigious to have a Ph.D., and all the Ph.D.’s went by “Doctor” in the employee directory and so on. There was a guy who was pretty high up in admin, and he had gone to law school at night although I don’t think he ever passed the bar and I know he didn’t practice. Anyway, because it was a juris DOCTOR degree, he made it a point to go by “Dr. Smith” in the office and many people (by his design, I’m sure) just assumed he had a Ph.D.
Anyway, OP, your acquaintance is awful.
Anyone else remembered of that scene with Holt in Brooklyn 99 where he flips out at the dentist for saying PhDs aren’t doctors? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BCXJ3yC65o
I miss Andre Braugher :(
Sigh. This kind of elitism is so, so stupid. I’m an academic I’m sorry to say that folks with PhD’s are often DESPERATE to get attention for it, desperate to rank themselves as number one degree-haver in the room, desperate to be crowned Miss SmartyPants.
This person is petty and self-important. Ignore.
What style of black jeans are you wearing these days? I still see some skinny-ish ones paired with Blundstones or combat boots. Is that on trend right now (or at least, fashion neutral)? Any recommendations if I want to pair the black jeans with a blazer and boots for work?
If you want high waist and inexpensive, try Loft Rivete high waist, slim flare jeans in noir wash. These are available in regular, petite and tall lengths and in regular and curvy cut.
I just bought some black straight leg ones from madewell that I love. They go over my boots but are not as wide as many of the other wide leg styles out there right now.
Kat and team – I’m seeing many wrap-tops, faux-wrap dresses, lots of wrap-pieces for this spring. Would you consider picking some for features? As a former ballet -obsessed kid I love the look but need a lot better fabric in my middle age than tissue thin sweaters or long ties that look like a bathrobe :)
I’ll put it on our list for a Hunt!
Thank you! And hopefully if you think this is wrong – please feel free to say that too!
I love wrap dresses!
Signed,
Tall hourglass