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Hat tip to the readers, who turned me on to Suzanne Kalan's delicate, quirky jewelry. I love this zig-zaggy post earring made with diamonds and white gold; there's also a version in yellow gold.
From the product description:
Suzanne Kalan's earrings feature 0.18-carats of baguette-cut diamonds arranged in the brand's signature ‘Firework' setting — each stone is randomly placed to evoke movement. This dainty pair is handmade from 18-karat gold and perfectly complements everyday outfits.
Lovely! They're $1,350 at NET-A-PORTER.
Hunting for great jewelry for the office? As of 2024, we're long been fans of affordable brands like Mejuri and Jenny Bird, as well as mid-tier brands like Monica Vinader, David Yurman (especially this line), Dana Rebecca, and Stephen Dweck. For our $.02: spend money on things like a good watch (or watch strap), gold or diamond earrings, a pearl necklace, and more. Some of the earrings we've featured recently:
And some of the necklaces:
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Anon
The part of the Alabama court case that I’m dumbfounded by: it’s because three couples WHO WERE USING IVF had embryos that were dropped and destroyed and are suing the fertility clinic for wrongful death. What the heck is wrong with these couples?
Anon
Apparently they all already have children and the embryos have been frozen for up to ten years. They might be ideologues themselves – and at any rate you have to wonder if they figured they got theirs and don’t care about other people getting kids.
Anonymous
Yup this. They got their and now want to ruin if for everyone else.
Anon
I bet they were sought out for this.
Anon
+1
Senior Attorney
Absolutely.
Anon
This
Anon
I can’t imagine being that pathologically selfish. How many lives are they okay with ruining? Some people are so morally rotten.
Anonymous
IVF for me and not for thee seems like the logical evolution of abortion for me and not for thee. People with money will just go to another state for access. They DNGAF about the rest of us.
I worry about abusive men getting custody of embryos in a divorce and hiring surrogates against the genetic mother’s wishes then suing the genetic mother for child support. Nightmare material.
Anon
Money isn’t going to protect any women in obstetric emergencies. You can’t just get on a plane and go to another state when you’re bleeding like crazy or having a stroke. I hate that argument, honestly.
Anon
Wealthy women are certainly not protected from every bad outcome, but there are many situations in which having the means to travel gives wealthy women access to healthcare that others don’t have.
Anonymous
Emergencies aside, the wealthy absolutely have an advantage because of their wealth, they always have, and they have never cared about the rest of us. You’re naive if you think otherwise.
anon
Jeebus H.
Anon
The Alabama act for wrongful death of a minor allows for punitive damages. That’s a very, very strong financial incentive to argue that the act applies to these embryos even if you are pro-choice. I also think that even if someone is pro-choice for others, they can be pro-life for themselves and truly consider those embryos actual children. I know many couples who struggle with what to do with embryos that have already been created that they won’t use that are pro-choice for others. I’ve been trying not to judge these couples in particular. Also, I’m not going to assume that these couples fully understood the ramifications of their positions before they filed. Did their attorneys really alert them to the possibility that this decision would halt IVF in Alabama? I’m not going to make that assumption without proof.
Anon
I’m an attorney that is licensed in AL, used to do medical malpractice. (I do not live in the state). The AL statute is very damages friendly and is structured to “punish” the wrongdoer for wrongful death. In my home state, wrongful death damages take into account the “value of the life,” so you take into account the wages the person was taking in, how many years they had left to live, and their quality of life. This means that even with really egregious conduct, a nursing home case just isn’t going to be worth much because the individual likely was unemployed and had low quality of life to begin with etc.
In Alabama, in contrast, nothing about the wrongful death statute allows value of life to determine damages. The jury is only supposed to look at how egregious the defendant’s conduct was, meaning that damage awards tend to be extremely high. This is a long way of saying that the couples suing would have had a really strong financial incentive to prove they could recover under the wrongful death statute.
Anon
Horrified by the state that measures up the “value of the life”; how truly awful. (Also horrible that the better situation in Alabama is leading to this suit and that it may be financially motivated!)
anon
That’s a pretty typical standard used in many states.
Anon
No wonder discrimination against disabled people is rampant in USA.
Anon
Harris County TX sounds similar (that said, if I am injured, I want it to be there or to at least be able to sue there).
anon
We asked my Alabama MIL if the six embryos we have frozen are her grandchildren and she laughed and said no. She’s so far been vocally supportive of the ruling (vocally = posting/reposting on FB all the live long day for the last 24 hours).
Mmmmmkay, lady.
FWIW, she’s neither wealthy nor intelligent.
Anonymous
I want to know what they think should happen to embryos that are not chromosomally normal. Embryos that have little to no chance at life, and if they managed to go full term, would be profoundly disabled. Who is supposed to gestate that child? Is the next step to force women to suffer through an implantation with aneuploid embryos?
Anon
Yes. That’s exactly what they want because they don’t actually care about women’s health or wellbeing, let alone autonomy.
anon
And if you don’t think they care about women’s health or wellbeing, just wait until you see how they treat people with disabilities. I know you know. Just, ugh.
anon
Yup. It’s “God’s will”.
Anon
It’s kind of already happening with pregnant women being forced to carry to term pregnancies where the fetus has very little chance of survival.
Anon
Maybe that’s why IVF if problematic. You’re getting into some serious eugenics stuff here. If you never go down that road, you don’t face these pretty obvious ethical dilemmas that result from going down a road you never should have.
Anonymous
In the other thread I saw someone equating abortion to killing a baby, so I’m going to suggest reading Thompson’s A Defense of Abortion, which addresses the issue. I wish ethical philosophy was mandatory reading.
Anon
We’ve read it.
Anon
What happens if the couples take the embryos to the fire station or another safe drop-off place? Will the state become liable for taking care of them and paying the storage fees?
Anonymous
Honestly the first few coolers from laboratories might defrost before they figure out what to do but after that I’d be worried they start up a program to implant them in someone else who ‘volunteers’. I can totally see a Duggar type group signing up ‘willing’ women to receive them.
Anon
What a chilling thought. It’s a serious question too – if it’s a life, then the state has responsibility in cases when the parents don’t.
anon
Honestly, I suspect there will be a method of donating the embryos to couples that need them… so like a high tech fire station. Not that everyone would be willing to do that.
Curious… what are the storage fees?
Anon
$120/month for 6 in suburban Boston.
Anon
In NYC metro, $1200/year regardless of number of embryos.
anonymous
Can you move the embryos out of state and then dispose?
Anon for This
Not right now because none of the shipping companies want to take on the liability for transporting “children.” What is there was an auto accident or a problem with the dry ice? (And this is not hypothetical- the news is reporting that IVF clinics are ceasing to provide services and shipping companies have refused shipments).
Anonymous
Is anyone else supremely unexcited by fashion right now? I’m 45 so I’ve seen it all before, but right now just feels like nothing is… exciting. Just curious if this is an age thing or a 2024 thing, since I know we’ve talked here about how it’s a weird time for fashion.
anon
Is anyone else supremely unexcited by fashion right now? I’m 45 so I’ve seen it all before, but right now just feels like nothing is… exciting. Just curious if this is an age thing or a 2024 thing, since I know we’ve talked here about how it’s a weird time for fashion.
Anon
Like with music and other creative areas, we are reaching a point where we are recycling old ideas. Things aren’t as unique anymore. It’s kind of sad, when I think about it.
Anon
You say this as if it’s a brand new thing. The same stories and ideas have been recycled probably since the beginning of time. The best of each time period is what we remember. I doubt that the world is less creative now, it’s just that we’re seeing all the bad stuff as well that won’t be remembered in 20 years.
Anon
30 here and I’m baffled by current trends. The baggy-on-bulky silhouettes are terrible. Even twiggy 20 year olds are sort of pulling it off but don’t look great. I get that fashion is moving away from the male gaze but I feel dumpy in those outfits.
anon
Agree: the youngs are kind of pulling it off, but they only look cute because they’re young, not because the clothes are fantastic.
Anon
I have a Young at home, and I think she looks cute too. But I can’t imagine my mom bod and I would look nearly as fetch wearing a cropped baggy sweatshirt, wide leg ankle pants, and birkenstock clogs!
anon
Right, we just look sloppy! And that’s putting it kindly.
anon
I’m about your age, and I think it’s both. The current styles are just ugly to my eye, and I know (because I’m a forty-something) that they will do nothing to make me look or feel good. And also, we’ve seen some version of most of this before.
Anon
I don’t really care about the shapes – I kind of like the wider pants – but why is everything BEIGE??? Or navy or gray or black or olive. I like these colors fine, but I do not need 20 navy sweaters.
Let’s move on from neutrals!
Anon
Beige = Scandinavian camo
That said, why are so many CA clothing companies basking in it and other pale neutrals? I’m a ruddy-skinned medium brunette and the pallor is real.
Anon
It’s the Kardashians.
Vicky Austin
Scandinavian camo HAHAHAHA
Anonymous
As an actual Scandinavian – nope. Beige anything is not Scandi at all.
It might be minimalist on some sort of level, but not Scandi. You would never introduce beige as a Scandi classic, it would always be an awkward continental stretch.
Anon
I like the wide pants too, but I can’t get used to how awful they look when they end at the ankle. Come on!
Anonymous
We used to call those ‘flood pants’ and you got teased endlessly when you wore them.
Anonymous
“The pallor is real”. This is why I avoid beige like the plague.
But…’scandinavian camo’…wha…??
emeralds
I love neutrals, athleisure, and a Katharine Hepburn in her pants era aesthetic for work, so I’m doing amazing. I’m 35.
Anonymous
I’m 41 and really excited about fashion. It’s really fun for me to try new silhouettes and I’m totally into wide legs and flares. I feel like I’ve hit the sweet spot of accepting my body, feeling confident enough to wear what I like, and having the time and money to wear what I love. I’m not a fashion plate but I usually feel cute and look current. It makes me sad that people here are so opposed to change in fashion. It’s fun. Cling to your dreams and your values and be flexible about the shape of your pants.
anon
Easy to say when you can find pants that actually fit and aren’t wildly out of whack with your proportions.
Anonymous
Pants are kryptonite for me and I still say that. I avoid anything I know won’t work and I still have to really search. Thank goodness for a good tailor..
Anon
Same same!! And there are many silouhettes of pants that I see around right now, so surely people can find something out there that looks good.
anonymous
Couldn’t agree more! Have some fun, find your style, anything goes these days, it’s probably one of the best ever eras for fashion.
Anon
Maybe this is typical but as I’ve gotten older I’ve grown less interested in straight up trends. I still care about what’s semi-current, but I suppose I would say I’ve gravitated more toward classic/preppy style over the last few years. That really wasn’t me way back when. I would say my casual style was more romantic before now.
In terms of work style, which is mostly for meetings now, I’ve definitely given up on the sheath dresses and pencil skirts, and I’m rocking more trousers and flatter shoes than I used to.
Anon
I think it’s a personal preference thing. I remember when skinny jeans were becoming popular, and people around my age now kept saying that there was nothing for them in current trends. It might be an age thing in that our personal preferences are often shaped by what we were wearing in “formative” years.
I love a lot of what’s happening in fashion right now, and I think it’s an exciting time. The fact that the male gaze is becoming less centered and that comfortable clothing is acceptable is a big shift, imo, and I love it.
Anon
That’s a good point about the male gaze. I think those of us who are older have absorbed that what looks good on us is traditionally flattering. IDGAF about the male gaze at this point in my life, so perhaps I need to get past that.
I will say that I’ve always felt women dress for other women. I’ve always been influenced by what my women friends are wearing, and they’re the only people who ever notice details of my outfit.
Anon
I’m Anon at 4:14, and I do agree that women often dress for other women. My man-friend couldn’t describe or discuss any details of what I wear other than, “I think you look good.” Having said that, I think that what women think is flattering on themselves or other women has been shaped by the male gaze. “Traditionally flattering” often means that the person looks thin in some places, shapely in others, and taller. I like that folks are playing with proportion in a way that doesn’t accentuate sexuality right now.
Anon
Yeah, I didn’t connect my thoughts well. I agree “traditionally flattering” = male gaze.
NYNY
I’m with you. I never bought into skinny jeans or leggings as pants, so I had years of not liking the trends. But I love wide leg pants,”unflattering” silhouettes, chunky punk rock shoes, and the way comfort is being factored into a lot of fashion currently. Nb my formative years included the late 80s when we were all wearing absolutely giant tee shirts (shoutout to Hanes men’s 3XL undershirts!) and chuck taylors.
Anonymous
I’m a little older than you and have to say that I like that there is a little bit of everything around so that I’m able to find things that work for my body and personal sense of style.
What I’m unexcited by is how poorly made most of that little bit of everything is, and how I have to really look for non-plastic options.
Anonymous
Random question – is there a particular growing season for blueberries? I’m located in Virginia if it matters. Google seems not to answer this as obviously most fruits are available year round because they’re imported in or cold storage or whatever. But I was curious when you could get fresh blueberries on the east coast grown locally or relatively locally – i.e. from the northeast or somewhere within a few hours – rather than from the other side of the world.
Anon
July and August.
Anon
Summer.
Anon
yup, lots of blueberry picking in Maine, Berkshires, etc.
Anon
I think Virginia’s blueberry season is usually in July. Check for local blueberry festivals. Many places will do you pick blueberries where you can pick your own. Same for strawberries (but that season is usually much earlier in early May). There is a very simple pleasure of eating a sun ripened blueberry or strawberry that you picked yourself in a field!
Anon
In Maine, it’s late July and August for picking wild blueberries. Not sure about other areas.
Anon
In Virginia, with global warming, blueberries are likely to come into season beginning in late June, peaking in the first half of July. Berries from NC will be available earlier and berries from NJ will be available later, but widely available in VA.
Anon
Florida blueberries are ripening in May.
Anon
I live in Arkansas, and our blueberry season is just before peach season, so usually late June/early July. I’m shocked and jealous of the answers of August below!!
Gail the Goldfish
I’m in NC and all our local pick your own blueberry places are usually open late May-June and usually about done by July 4th, so Virginia is probably slighly after us. If you have any good farmer’s markets near you, they are awesome for getting in-season produce (our state farmer’s market has this handy chart for when stuff is in season–just add a little bit of time for Virginia I suspect: https://www.ncagr.gov/marketing/produce-availability-chart/open
Anonymous
When do you work out when you’re sick? Do you change your workout to something like yoga? I traditionally do the bedrotting thing instead.
Anon
Uh, I don’t because I feel too awful. Rest is the most important thing.
anon
when i’m up to it i try to walk or do gentle yoga. i am prone to backache and when i lie about it tends to get worse so unless i really can’t get out of bed i try to move a little….
Anon
+10000000 what a weird question.
Anon
I’m a pretty serious athlete and I don’t because I know I need proper rest to recuperate.
Anonymous
I usually spend a day or two in bed, but after that I feel a lot better if I get up and get some fresh air and sunshine. So I usually go for a walk and then take a shower and that helps. But I think rest is really important for the first couple days of illness.
Anon
No. Definitely try to get out of bed/sit up, basic movement around the house and advance as tolerated. But no no…. hydrate/sleep/rest…
Anonymous
I don’t because when sick the most important thing to do is rest and get better.
Anon
In college and my early 20s, I would have done light cardio if my symptoms were “above my neck.” I think I read that in some women’s magazine and I doubt it has any basis in reality/medical knowledge.
As a 37-year-old I know that working out when I’m sick is a fast train to feeling much worse and prolonging my recovery.
Betsy
I definitely read the same article at the same age and it similarly stuck with me! But at this point in my life, I don’t work out when sick unless it’s really just a stuffy nose hanging on or something like that.
Anonymous
I’m the OP – I think I read that in a magazine also but couldn’t remember the rule. Glad to see I’m not the only one who usually rests instead of #goals while sick. It feels like this time of year is so stop and start though – I didn’t work out for 3 weeks in December because of stomach illness, then the holidays and so forth.
Anon
Timely, since I just got over covid! I have a walking pad under my desk and that was a lifesaver for when I was tired of rotting but putting on shoes and going outside sounded even more terrible. It was nice to stretch my legs but also be 2 seconds from my couch for the moment my stamina ran out. I agree with the other commenters that resting and hydrating come way before any exercise in the priority list.
Anon
I might go for a walk once I feel up to it (not when really sick) and I often do some stretching because I get sore being in bed all day, but rest is really important!
Anon
Depends on how sick, but I usually don’t do anything more strenuous than walk until I’m feeling 100%. I don’t do a lot of intense exercise in general though.
Anonymous
It depends how sick. Mild cold or at the tail end of something worse, yes if I feel up to it.
Anon
If I’m not sure whether it’s allergies or the crud, I go for a run to figure it out. When my heart rate is up, if it’s allergies, it just becomes a normal run. If I’m coming down with the crud, I can’t get enough air (even if I’m not congested at rest) and I do what I need to do to wait out whatever cold my body is cooking up.
Otherwise, I take it easy and listen to my body if I’m sick. Walk the dog, minimal errands (no car, so walk or bike) until I’m well.
Anon
I usually recuperate at home without seeing a doctor, so I have to operate on the assumption that I need to take it easy (since no one actually checked my lungs or my heart).
I don’t want to get a blood clot from vegging so I make sure to move around but that is about it. Some of the symptoms we get when we’re sick (like feeling tired) aren’t always even from the sickness, but are our body’s way of trying to make us rest.
New Here
I might go for a walk. Especially if I’m dealing with congestion and it is cool out – cold air gives me some relief. But I don’t push myself.
Anon
I don’t think it’s “bedrotting” if you’re sick. It’s just resting.
anonymous
What?
Anon
How do you figure out if you are allergic to something in your home? My husband feels really tired in our house but not out of it; I don’t see or smell any mold but wonder if there is something somewhere or some other allergen he’s reacting to.
Anonymous
gas leak? Radon exposure?
Anon
Go to an allergist for testing. They test for all kinds of environmental allergens including mould.
Anonymous
You can get tests for mold in the home.
Anonymous
Just be careful to find someone on the up – there are lots of sketchy ones out there who find toxic mold everywhere.
Anonymous
I was referring to do-it-yourself kits. Though I think those may involve sending the test off to a lab, the labs have less incentive to lie bc they are not going to be hired to do remediation.
Anon
Check first for carbon monoxide, if you have any gas or oil burning systems.
anon
want to update my accessories. what do people wear for every day jewelry? (like the answer i am looking for is not earrings but rather yellow gold hoop earrings for example) and belts? they seem to be back….. i haven’t worn one in years.
Senior Attorney
I bought these (actually asked my husband to buy them for me for Christmas, which he did) after seeing them on here and feel like they are a GREAT everyday earring: https://mejuri.com/shop/products/beaded-medium-hoops?referrer=PDP%3Arecommended-products
anon
op here. i was looking at those, i agree. a great every day earring!
SSJD
I wear three yellow gold necklaces everyday. They are a nice, varied stack (but I’ll admit, it’s a lot of gold in one look). The longest is an old, interesting chain (family heirloom), the next is a pendant (looks similar to a round, gold coin from a distance) on a simple chain, the last is a newer “paperclip” necklace with significant weight (it could be worn all by itself). This piece is clearly modern and trendy, but I think the whole stack together really works, and it’s been my signature jewelry look for about a year (before that, I wore just the first two necklaces for about 2 years).
In addition, for daily wear I rotate earrings: oval sapphire studs, yellow gold huggie hoops with a classic greek key pattern, yellow gold balls.
On my fingers I have a platinum diamond ring on one hand and a white gold diamond anniversary band on the other. (I cannot wear them together or my skin gets really irritated!) I wear a stainless steel watch (Cartier tank). No bracelets for daily wear.
Anon
I have a big coin pendant also. I feel very Flavor Flave in it. Only one necklace for me though -/ they tend to snarl my hair.
Vicky Austin
Where are your oval sapphire studs from? Those sound gorgeous.
Anon
I’m curious about the Greek key earrings too!
Anonymous
Every single day:
ring finger: Wedding band and engagement ring
left pointer finger: turquoise band ring that I got in Sedona
right pointer finger: three thin silver stacked rings with tiny letters that spell JOY (if they’re in the right order :))
right middle finger: wide hammered finish silver band with a very tiny little heart
Rotate:
Layered dainty necklaces. I have a gold set and a silver set. I use necklace magnetic clasps (Lucky from Amazon) that make this so much easier than it used to. Today it is two tiny gold necklaces (a round compass on one, a bar on the other) and a strand of pearls. The strand of pearls I’ve been adding into my layers in the last month and I have been really enjoyed them.
If I don’t wear necklaces I might put on a variety of small earrings. Mostly a mix of very small stud earrings.
Anon
Interesting studs or huggies, gold or silver. No hoops, dangly earrings, or colored gems. Necklaces are delicate and I rarely wear a typical gemstone-hanging-from-a-chain pendant. The gemstone or other design element is attached to the chain at the sides.
Sasha
I wear 20mm thin yellow gold hoop earrings every day–they are endless loop closures and solid gold. And then I wear a solid yellow gold necklace with a small letter charm of my first initial. I never take them off, even to shower–probably terrible jewelry management but the endless loop closures are a pain to put back on.
emeralds
Wedding set on my left hand, and a chunky gold ring and finer gold ring on my right. Usually a necklace of some type–currently a longer flat-linked gold chain over a turtleneck, yesterday was a collarbone-length pendant (similar to this but yellow gold and CZ: https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/necklaces-pendants/tiffany-soleste-pendant-60987475/), sometimes I’ll layer the pendant necklace with a longer gold chain with a baroque pearl strung on it. I have a very pretty very dainty pearl and diamond necklace that I need to get repaired, otherwise that would be in the layering rotation too. Earrings vary the most, depending on what I’m wearing I pick between between smaller gold hoops made of twisted wire, mid-sized plain gold hoops, big gold hoops, pearl studs, and emeralds set in a diamond halo. Bracelet is dependent on the outfit, could be a gold Cuban link, a silver and gold bangle, or a braided gold rope, or all three.
Can’t be bothered with belts most of the time.
Anon
I wear earrings, usually pearl dangles – what’s on the kojima pearl earring page now is typical – my two daily rings, which are band style with tiny diamonds. An apple watch, and some sort of bracelet on the same arm, often pearl, sometimes bangle.
Anonymous
Large dangly statement earrings- silver teardrops or circles, colorful acetate geometric one from Etsy, or others I’ve inherited over the years from my mom and aunt (amber drops, gold plated geometric dangles etc). And a plain gold wedding band. Necklaces were my JAM for 20 years but I stopped wearing them when I had toddlers, really stopped when was home all the time in 2020 and never wear them now.
Anon
I basically never change my jewelry: garmin watch, thin gold chain permanent bracelet, thin golf satellite necklace and small gold huggie hoops and a small CZ earring in my cartilage.
I occasionally change my earrings but pretty much never change other jewelry.
Vicky Austin
Tangentially, this reminds me that back in the summer some folks on this board helped me with some very fun websites for browsing antique jewelry. I have no idea what they were. Anyone have favorites?
Vicky Austin
Double because m-d, sorry
Tangentially, this reminds me that back in the summer some folks on this board helped me with some very fun webs!tes for browsing antique jewelry. I have no idea what they were. Anyone have favorites?
Vicky Austin
update: Wilson’s Estate Jewelry was one of them!
AIMS
I feel like after years and years of yellow and rose gold, I am starting to get tired of it and I’ve noticed a lot of silver popping up again lately. I just bought a pair of smallish silver hoops, but on the chunky side, and feel like they look really nice and fresh in a way that I wouldn’t have appreciated even 6 months ago. I got the, at TJ Maxx for under $20, fwiw.
Anon
Watch
Ring
Earrings
Maybe a bracelet
tasty easy dinners
What is your favorite (quick) dinner recipe for left-over rotisserie chicken?
I have the tacos/quesadillas/chicken salad ones down. Appreciate all Asian flavors in particular.
anon
friend rice. white rice, onions or garlic, veggies, lots of soy sauce and an egg. toast chicken in to heat.
Flats Only
Sesame oil really puts the finishing touch.
Vicky Austin
+1 sesame oil absolutely makes my favorite oven fried rice recipe. I like a 10 oz bag of frozen peas and carrots and generous scrambled eggs and scallions at the end.
anon
Recipe?
Vicky Austin
https://www.averiecooks.com/15-minute-sheet-pan-chicken-fried-rice/
Here you go!
anon
For a super fast dinner with Asian flavors: steam some rice, throw bagged veggies and shredded chicken in a pan with sesame oil, soy sauce, and maybe another asian condiment like garlic chili oil. You could garnish with chopped peanuts or cashews. Done. Add cooked frozen dumplings or spring rolls to make it more interesting.
Not Asian: white chicken chili. I use the bush’s recipe.https://www.bushbeans.com/en_US/bean-recipes/easy-white-chicken-chili
Anon
Any of these, but use Indonesian soy sauce (Kecap Manis) or mix some brown sugar into your soy sauce, then toss with the chicken and sauté to heat.
Anonymous
I don’t like the dark meat by itself so I braise greens and throw the shredded dark meat in the pan to get some flavor while cooking.
Anon
Broccoli slaw, mango (optional bc I realize it’s not always on hand/in season), cucumber, shredded carrots, rotisserie chicken, peanuts for crunch, and thai peanut sauce. Freaking love it.
anon
Street cart salad recipe from Bon Appetit.
Anan
Congee, especially if you have leftover rice.
Anon
Leftover chicken of any sort – either a salad with lots of stuff in it + homemade ranch.
Or chicken and rice – like a rice pilaf with sauteed onions. I usually make this at the same time as the chicken so it’s chicken flavored. Saute an onion in olive oil and butter, add the rice and toast the grains slightly, then cook in a mixture of 1/2 broth and 1/2 water as usual/ + salt.
Sometimes I do a rice bowl type thing. Rice, then cucumbers, scallions, whatever veggies I have around, then the meat. Avocado if I have any. I like a rice bowl dressing of mayonnaise mixed with either sriracha or gojujang.
If I don’t have leftover rice, I like to quickly make some brown rice – either the frozen packets from TJs, or quick cooking brown rice from Uncle Ben. Because I never have 45 minutes to actually make brown rice. I can always talk myself into 20 minutes for white rice, but brown is a no from me.
anon
I’ll do a quick fried rice, using the bagged microwave rice, some steamed asian veggies, etc. and add one of the japanese barbeque sauces. Howsweeteats has a really good peanut noodles that i add chicken to. I also like DamnDelicious has good chinese chicken salad.
LizzieBennet
Someone the other day was looking for very high-rise wide-leg or bootcut jeans – I saw this list and thought of you: https://nymag.com/strategist/article/mya-gelber-hunt-dark-wash-jeans.html
Nesprin
Made a job offer last week to a candidate who I thought would be great. Did my best to make the offer as easy to accept as possible (great salary, interesting work, opportunity to advance, etc)… and no response.
Bummed that I need to go back to screening candidates.
No Face
Maybe reach out one last time?
Anon
That sucks and I definitely don’t support this behavior. But after a job search where I spent way too much time prepping and going through multi day interviews and then got ghosted by employers several times, it’s probably inevitable people start to think that this is a perfectly normal way to interact when applying for jobs!
Anonymous
Did you reach out via email? If you don’t correspond regularly with them via email, I’d follow up with a phone call.
Cat
If your email said something like “offer” it may have gone straight to spam. Or maybe they’re out of town? I’d follow up again before writing them off…
Anonymous
This happened to a birthday invite I send to a friend of my daughter’s mom. I had emailed her directly a few times before but mentioning ‘short notice’ and ‘offering’ to drive the girls is likely what sent it to spam even though it was my g mail to her g mail.
Anon
There was someone the other day looking for an accounting role in NYC…Corporette as a job board/help another woman out!
Anon
The offer for my current job was not received because there was a typo in my email address. The person I interviewed with reached out about how they were “looking forward to receiving my signed offer letter” (they had already offered me the job on the phone) and my response was “I look forward to receiving the offer letter.” So definitely reach out!
Anonymous
I just got a Steelcase Leap from an auction – if it looks like leather it is probably leather, right? Was going to clean it with some Coach leather cleaner today.
Anon
Revisiting the old catalog thread, I vaguely recall something called “tap pants” as a lingerie item from the Falcon Crest / Dynasty era. This was very advanced for teen me, but I thought it would be a thing in my adult life. I guess they vanished? I can remember flipping through a catalog selling them (maybe as Valentine’s day items?). Maybe it went the way of garter belts and peignoirs? I have no idea, still, why they were called “tap pants” — not pants and they seemed unrelated to tap dancing.
Anon
I think we had a thread on tap pants not too long ago!
In the late 80s I was a teenager working part time at JC Penney and from my shifts in the lingerie department, I definitely thought tap pants would be a big part of my adult life.
Honestly, that seems better to me than having to wear a string up your butt crack every day!
Anon
Aren’t tap pants kind of an alternative to a slip? I recall them being something adult ladies on tv wore to bed with silk camisoles but I can’t say I knew anyone IRL wearing them.
Anon
No, they were panties/underwear, often with a matching bra.
Anonymous
For some reason, I have the sense that these were clothing items that first emerged in the 1920s, as women’s underwear was becoming more and more abbreviated. They probably did originate in the dance world.
Cat
They’re still around by other names – think the silk or satin boxer shorts that are part of PJ sets!
Anon
Yes! Search for ‘tulip bottoms’ and you’ll get tap pants.
Monte
They may not be as popular but they are definitely still around — I have several as part of lingerie/pj sets.
LA Law
Watch dance movies from the 1930s and you will see why they call them tap pants!
Anon
My 2-year-old’s daycare teacher was fired for abusing another kid in his class. The school didn’t share any information with parents – just that the teacher had left. I know what happened because I’m friends with the parent who witnessed the abuse (which was picking up a child and angrily throwing them on a cot) and filed a police report. It also came up in the DCFS report online. I had gotten not-great vibes from this teacher and heard her raise her voice a few times but nothing that would make me report her. My son has also increased negative physical behaviors since she became his teacher a few months ago. I don’t know if the teacher has anything to do with this.
Should the school have informed parents about what happened? I understand confidentiality and legal limitations, but I feel like there should have been a way to tactfully inform parents that teacher X left due to a safety incident, that the school is fully cooperating with law enforcement, that safety is our number one priority, that this is the first allegation against the teacher, that there is not evidence to suggest any other child was involved, and that we can’t share anything else at this time due to legalities. Or something like that .
Is it okay that I’m mad about this? I wonder if this teacher has done this before, and if she’s been observed and ignored? I have zero evidence of this, but I can’t help but wonder. The daycare also got dinged for improper staff to student ratios, and they’re desperate for teachers.
Anon
If it was s*xual abuse, think about that. That kid’s parents likely don’t want that shared nor would the kid want everyone knowing such a private thing. If the person gets arrested, maybe you can see charges but with a juvenile victim, a lot of states have laws to protect the privacy of that victim.
Anon
I thought complaints against daycares were public? Been a minute since I looked in to this but I remember a state database where I could look this up. Would this not yield a formal, reportable complaint? Therefore public?
Either way I disagree with this take. Victim anonymity could be maintained while informing parents all the same with the minimum amount of specifics of the actual incident. I’d also want reassurance of interview/hiring processes if this was truly just one bad actor – if one got through what is the center doing to stop others? I find situations like these which are highly emotional do best when addressed head on vs parent and community rumor mill swirling.
Anon
At my kids’ daycare, ratios are 1:4 as infants to maybe 1:8 in 4/5s room. Things are pretty known or knowable for who the victim is. Throw in some grave abuse and I get why the details are as private as possible.
What they can say is probably limited to what is in the public record, which you can go look up.
Anon
Lol the daycare is not worried about the victim. They’re covering their own behinds. They don’t want parents running to the press. The press can’t print unsubstantiated parent gossip and daycare knows that, but if a parent forwarded an email from the daycare fessing up to what happened, it would absolutely be headline news. That’s why the daycare doesn’t want to put anything in writing.
Anon
I don’t know if complaints are public, but licensing violations definitely are. Also if there are any criminal charges the local newspaper and TV stations will be all over it. Of course the victim’s name will be kept out of it, but the idea that incidents like this aren’t widely reported is very odd to me.
I agree with the 8:08 poster that the daycare should be proactively communicating with parents about this. As long as the daycare is not sharing names or other identifiable info about the victim, then they’re not breaching any sort of confidentiality, and I don’t see how a message like “a teacher in the Butterfly Room has been dismissed after an incident of physical abuse, here are the steps we’re taking” without any further information about the victim would point people to the victim.
(Also this is pedantic, but ratios are irrelevant. It’s the class size that matters. If there are 3 teachers and 12 kids it’s much less likely people will identify the victim vs 1 teacher and 4 kids, even though it’s the exact same ratio.)
OP
Thanks everyone. This conversation is producing very helpful insights. I posted late yesterday so I may repost today.
It wasn’t s*xual abuse. It was a teacher picking up a child and hurling them onto a cot in a very angry manner.
The DCFS violations are public. The daycare got dinged with 4 major code violations and was put on a protective plan. If I remember correctly, the codes that were violated relate to child neglect, inappropriate physical contact, inappropriate response to child behavior, and using negative reinforcements.
Anon
Yes they should have told you. I don’t know if they have a legal obligation to (I’m not an expert and imagine it might vary by state), but I definitely think they have a moral obligation.
I have an acquaintance whose child was at a daycare where a teacher sexually abused a child. The daycare notified all parents, of course withholding the victim’s name and other identifying information.
Anon
A kid in my son’s daycare bullied him, and he showed some pretty obvious behavioural changes. Had the bullying not stopped (I think the girl was asked to leave and find a new situation), we would have moved him and/or sought therapy. Your kid might need some help processing this: it’s really distressing for kids to witness another kid be hurt by an adult.
Anon
Any tips for training yourself out of short attention spans/instant gratification habit for the brain? Mine manifests where I should be doing focus work (e.g. writing something complex), but I interrupt myself to refresh email and see whether anything new has come in. My job doesn’t typically have super time sensitive tasks, even if something is ‘urgent’, me responding 4 hours later would be perfectly reasonable. It’s possible that I’m avoiding the focus task also because it is overwhelming(not satisfying my instant gratification muscle, because it’s haaaaard), and the email might be just the mechanism.
Anonymous
Try the app Forest – it also works on desktop.