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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Layla Sleeveless Bodycon Dress

A woman with dark hair wearing a green sleeveless dress and beige sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

I love the silhouette of this sleeveless mid-length dress from Reiss. The length, gathered waist, and small leg slit give it a slightly more modern look than your classic sheath dress, but I still think it would pair beautifully with a blazer for a great office look.

I can’t get enough of this green color, but if you’re looking for a great basic, it also comes in black.

The dress is $330 at Reiss and comes in sizes 4–16.

A more affordable option is from Vince Camuto; it's $27.98–$98.16 at Amazon (lucky sizes only).

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420 Comments

  1. I work in public health. I recently had a new boss come in who I think may be hiding some anti-vaxx views. I’ve noticed him break the rules in favour of anti-vaxxers more than once. I need to report this, and I know it, illegal activity is a big no. I just don’t want to deal with the drama and effort of reporting, why can’t everyone just behave. Sorry for ranting, I need to suck it up.

    1. I’m sorry. I work with out and proud anti-vaxxers (hopefully not for long), and there’s no recourse because I work in a state where it’s allowed and encouraged. I wish there was some recourse for these nitwits being in positions of authority. Please report, for all of us who don’t have that ability.

    2. Randomly on the COVID front: what is going on in Hong Kong? Is it Omicron finally arriving there or something else?

      1. Your Local Epidemiologist (on facebook and has a newsletter via blog) said yesterday that it’s a combination of no wide immunity (prior lockdowns), low vaccine percentage in general population and low percent vaxxed in 65+ population plus Sinovax has low protection – not as good as mRNA vax. Sinovax only prevents death by 45% whereas our mRNA prevents like 90% of death in the elderly population. She said they had 35 deaths per million daily whereas US high was 18 deaths per million. Pretty awful.

        3. HK has Pfizer so not just Sinovac. It has low vaccination rates and absolute non exposure to covid for 2+ years. Especially the elderly who are also most vulnerable.

      2. I read an interesting comparison of Hong Kong vs New Zealand. Both had very strict lockdowns with no covid goals, but New Zealand’s end game was to buy time to get everybody vaccinated and it worked. Hong Kong had pretty low vaccination rates at the start of the omicron surge, especially in the elderly.

        1. If my boss was anti-vaxx, I would call him out b/c we need to stay healthy to do our jobs!
          Morover, we run an extremely LEAN shop, so if someone gets sick, there is often no backup person who can step in. So if we had someone who said they were vaxxed and B’OOSTED, and were not, we would be in trouble!

          I remember when was a 3rd year here, I became the ONLEY one who was the first chair in WC. The manageing partner said it was me first and he would only review my work and bill as a reviewer. So what that meant was I had to do all the work MYSELF! He would clean up my typos, but no substantive changes. So I had to become proficient all by myself, and that was long before COVID 19 and Coronavirus came around.

          So now that we have these plus Omiron, we must make sure everyone is vaxxed and B’OOSTED! I helped devise a model to track same, by creating a data base where everyone’s VAXX card is scanned in and digitized and then alphbatized by person and vaxx type, with the dates of each vaccine and B’OOSTER.

  2. Reposting from late yesterday: Any recs for a slip on high top sneaker under $100 to bridge the winter to spring gap? I have a wide toe box. Thanks!

    1. I have the Dr. Scholl’s Wanderfull. They are from a couple of years ago, but there are newer styles from that brand. I wear them all the time. I did have to size up for a little extra room in the toes.

    3. I have two recommendations for you, though unfortunately over $100 (unless you can find them on sale):
      Vionic Women’s Magnolia Shawna High Top Booties. I have these in the wide size and have been wearing them all winter. Frankly, they are extremely comfortable but I’m disappointed in how they look at this point. This may be unreasonable because I’ve probably worn them 100 days at this point.
      ECCO Soft 7 Mid Top Sneaker. Most Eccos are too narrow for me and this is (sort of) the exception. The look is great but I can not wear them with socks (using knee high stockings or footies to have something between my foot and shoe).

  3. This dress is… not what I think of as bodycon. Or is this another US/UK difference?

    4. K@t just uses the manufacturer’s name of the garment so it’s the UK brand Reiss you should be quibbling with :)

      This is not remotely bodycon IMHO!

      1. I wondered if they had changed the description for their US site, like how what is meant by ‘pumps’ seems to differ across the pond. (Here they are ballet flats but I think in the US pumps have heels?)

        1. That’s funny they have the opposite meaning! You are right that “pumps” in the US are traditional high heels

          1. Pumps in UK are sneakers. Also a term for passing wind in some parts of the country. Two countries separated by the same language rip Oscar Wilde.

    5. Also in America, and don’t ever wear anything generally described as bodycon b/c it’s not my style/preference (you do you!), and I would 100% wear this dress. This is like Kate Middleton 101.

    6. This is absolutely gorgeous. If I had long legs, $330 to spare and an office to go to, I would totally buy this.

      1. Me too, but I am short and have stubby legs, so I can only enjoy the dress if the model is wearing it.

        BTW, does anyone in the HIVE know anything about the IMPOSTER syndrome and microagression that we, as women face from men at our law firms? I think that Harvard did a great paper on it which I read, and a TED talk from another woman, but now I can’t find any of them If anyone knows about this and implicit bias against women lawyers, please p’ost the link here and I will come back

    7. This was my first thought as well. Maybe I’m confusing band aid and bodycon? It’s beautiful though!

      1. I think of band aid as a strappy subset of bodycon. This gorgeous dress is neither in my book.

    8. If it’s called body con then I would assume it’s going to be tight. Sometimes items that are called body con don’t look it on the model but then I get my normal size and it’s totally body con. They must size up for the model. Which of course begs the question, if you know the dress looks better a bit looser then why do you size it like it’s supposed to be too small? Are you trying to save on fabric costs? Or make people at the higher end of your size range feel bad?

      1. Yes, this is it. They have styled it loose by giving the model a bigger size than what you’d choose based on the size chart.

        Based on the description, the model has a 23 inch waist and is wearing a size UK 8 (US4). Size UK 8 is made for a 26 inch waist, so she has up to 3 inches of positive ease at the waist, and some positive ease at the bust as well.

        It’s stretch fabric, so the model could easily have put on a UK 4. Any of us would look less bodycon in this dress if we wear two sizes bigger than a bodycon fit!

  4. Book research question – does anyone have any favourite books, films, or TV shows about the American “dollar princesses” who came to the UK to marry impoverished aristocracy around 1890-1920? Think Cora in Downton Abbey. Thanks in advance!

    1. The American Heiress which I think in the UK is called My Last Duchess. The Woman Before Wallace. A Well Behaved Woman.

    2. I listened to a podcast with the author of The Season: A Social History of the Debutante which might have some interesting snippets.

    3. The Guilded Age doesn’t have this necessarily but it is a great show about the time period.

        1. Guilded Age — I’d watch that though. Crafts people making silver items and maybe weaving?

          1. Look up Hands on youtube. It’s an Irish public access show about traditional handcrafts. Some of the episodes get delightfully weird.

    5. I believe there are multiple documentaries and books about Consuela Vanderbilt! I know I’ve seen some on streaming, can’t remember off the top of my head right now.

    6. Edith Wharton’s The Buccaneers is about this. There is a TV series too!

      1. I posted this without seeing the immediately preceding comment, NOT because I was questioning the earlier poster’s recommendation.

    8. Thanks so much! I shall investigate. Looks like I have an excellent summer of reading and writing ahead of me. (As a clue to what I’m doing with this research… “it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single aristocrat in possession of a crumbling pile must be in want of a wealthy wife”)

    10. There’s a fiction book “American Duchess” about Consuela Vanderbilt. Of course The Gilded Age and The Buccaneers (I found that on YouTube). “Jennie” on Acorn TV is a multi-part series about Jennie Randolph who married into the Churchill family and it is quite charming!

    11. OMG, I hope I’m not too late on this! One of my favorite fluffy history books is “To Marry and English Lord.” It’s PERFECT for what you’re looking for, and has tons of pictures, mini bios, etc. It’s sort of like reading a thick magazine, but with some serious history in there.

    12. There are several episodes of The History Chicks podcast on this – gilded age heiresses, Mrs. Astor, Jennie Jerome Churchill.

    13. This is a common trope in Historical Romance novels, though I can’t think of any off the top of my head…

    14. The Husband Hunters by Anne De Courcy is lots of mini biographies of sorts of various women. If you’re researching it’s a good place to start

    15. There’s an excellent book about exactly this called “The Husband Hunters”. Written by a British historian. Highly recommended!

    16. I loved this subplot in the TV adaptation of Dr. Thorne which I think I watched on prime.

    17. This is a real area of interest to me so I have a few recs!
      Smithsonian channel had a show called Million Dollar American Princesses, which I thought was worthwile watching. I paid to watch it via Amazon.
      Also recommend the Buccaneers. I havent read the book but the mini-series from the 90s is very good.
      I liked reading “The Glitter and the Gold”, which is Consuelo Vanderbilt’s autobiography. Like all autobiographies, you have to take it with a grain of salt. Also enjoyed the book “Conseulo and Alva: The Story of a Daughter and a Mother in the Gilded Age”.
      There was a book about the Jerome sisters I enjoyed but I dont recall the title. From a quick search it looks like it may have been “The Titled Americans”.
      The countess who lives in the real-life home that was Downton Abbey in the show wrote two books about her predecessors in that era, which I found interesting: “Lady Almina and the Real Downton Abbey” and “Lady Catherine and the Real Downton Abbey”. Lady Catherine was American.

    18. I think one of the characters in Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises / Fiesta was an American married to an impoverished British aristocrat around that time period.

  5. Does anyone get anxious before a big, non-necessary purchase? I’m debating buying some new furniture, but I also can’t get it out of my mind that it’s not really necessary, and even though the padding is gone from my current furniture it still technically works.

    1. I mean technically no furniture is necessary. You could sit and sleep on the floor, right?

      2. I think she is being faceeshious. We all need good furniture so that we can be seated or sleep more comfortably. All you have to do is say you are NOT being frivolus by buying the furniture, as the old furniture is not suitable any more. My Grandma Leyeh has her original furniture from the 1940’s, even tho she has enough money for new stuff but she doesn’t care. She also gave me money to get married and have a kid, which I never did yet. I told her she can have the money back if she buys new furniture. But her old furniture is in great shape and includes the bedding Dad used when he was a kid. I told her that the mattress was stained, but she just uses it in the guest room. I think it’s strange that I sleep on the same bed that he used 50 years ago!

    2. Are you me? I had wavered on replacing my 30 (!) year old sofa and loveseat for at least two years. Finally pulled the trigger on a new set last month. Maybe when COVID is over someone will come to visit and I’ll have a nice place for them to sit. If you can afford it, treat yourself. You deserve it!

    3. My husband is like this, which is why it is generally agreed on that I’m the one who is capable of pulling the trigger on things like this.

      I save my analysis paralysis for deciding if I should splurge on the premium can of cream of mushroom soup for my Thanksgiving green bean casserole.

      2. I laughed so long at this. The amount of time I spend calculating the difference between a $.12 per oz and $.18 per oz product on Amazon Fresh….

    5. I am the same way. I’ve been doing that with my almost six-year-old phone for about a year. Maybe I”ll just wait until next year’s release? Do I really need one? etc.

      Would it help to set aside money for it over time that’s earmarked for that purchase?

    6. Yes. My living room picture window has been bare for years because I cannot stomach the insane cost of window treatments. (Also because I know the cats will immediately ruin them.)

    7. Eight years between “we should replace the dining room table and chairs” and the delivery of the new dining room table and chairs (at which point we felt really silly, given how much more useful/nicer the new set is!).

    8. I feel the same way about furniture. What is really fun about furniture orders right now is the delays. I ordered dining room chairs in December to replace the partially broken hand-me-down chairs we use now. I thought about these chairs for a solid 2 years before I ordered. Latest estimated delivery time looks like May. So if it helps with justification, you could be using your current furniture for a while longer until the new arrives.

    9. In the past year I bought a new mattress, bed frame and couch. Only regret is I didn’t buy them sooner due to covid, supply chain issues and being indecisive. I also didn’t splurge. I think all three items cost a total of 3k. I love my couch and mattress though!!! My bf agrees!

          1. I’m glad you’re happy with it! It looks super comfortable. It reminds me a little of the sofa I’m replacing (which was uber comfortable), but my new place has an oddly small living room (old house, weird dimensions), so I’m worried I’m going to have to pay through the nose for something super streamlined/petite. (Thought I was saving money by getting a modest house…)

          2. I recommend Room and Board. I was going to get a couch from them but I don’t own my apartment and it would have been about $2k. I just doesn’t feel like paying that much when I don’t know where I’ll be in even 1 year! I also heard good things about Article!

          3. Thanks for the Room & Board recommendation! A 74″three-seater is not easy to find, but they have one.

    10. My husband is this way. It is why our kitchen and family room furniture are completely destroyed and we have no dining room furniture at all, and why I don’t like having people over or really even being in the house at all. It is no way to live.

    11. It’s necessary. Buy the best you can afford and take good care of it so you don’t have to do this again soon.

    12. My dad was like this. Books and music were necessary. Obscure teas, too. New technology sometimes (if it helped you watch movies or consume other media). New furniture, on the other hand, was “bourgeois.” I don’t entirely subscribe to his habits but I do find it hard to commit to non-necessary upgrades because it was just not a part of my childhood growing up to replace a couch just because it *could* look a little better or more modern. The only thing that helps is to remember that I rarely regret my purchases by the time I finally get around to getting them.

    13. Same. I have a hard time buying anything that is not a total and clear necessity. It’s from my very practical upbringing. The older I get the more I let this go, but it is never easy with purchases that are not absolutely necessary.

  6. How difficult is it to set up a new iPhone by yourself (assuming same provider)? Also, which of the new iPhones should I get (gen 12, 13, pro, max, mini etc.)? My iPhone 8 is on its last leg – dropped down to 12% in battery within 20 min so I really need a new phone. I could wait until the weekend but if it’s easy, I would just order today.

    TIA!

    1. Really easy. Just back up the old phone one last time (plus WhatsApp separately through the app – I lost a few months’ messages when I did this), and choose the ‘set up from backup’ option when you switch on the new phone. Personally I’d get the new gen SE that was just launched if I were buying today – I have the 2020 SE which I bought as soon as it was launched.

      1. It’s even easier than that now. You turn on the new phone with your old phone nearby, the new phone detects the old phone and asks if you want to transfer your stuff, you focus one phone’s camera on a glowing picture on the other phone, and after a few minutes your new phone is set up exactly like the old one. I would still back up first just for safety.

        I don’t know about WhatsApp because I don’t use it, but my other apps’ data was transferred this way.

    2. It’s very easy as long as you know your Apple ID login. It can take a little time (a few hours) though so plan accordingly. I have a 12 mini because I wanted something small to fit in my pockets – I’m very happy with it but I know some people like a bigger screen.

    3. Super easy if you know your Apple ID. Just be sure your cloud backup is fresh and everything will download itself. (You will have to re-login to apps like Insta which is the longest part.)

      As far as what to switch to, the Pro camera is awesome. I like the “regular” size rather than Max as it fits in purses and pockets (and my hand!) with no issue.

    4. I have a 7+ I’m limping along… almost 6 years now, I think. I’m planning on the 13 mini. The 12 mini is a bit cheaper, but one of the big changes is battery life which matters a lot to me. Both of them are relatively small, which I love for holding it (and not dropping it like I constantly do my 7 Plus).

      The SE is a great deal and will still be an update to your 8, except perhaps on optical zoom? I’d check the camera stats if that’s something that matters to you. SE is also the finger touch access, rather than Face ID (which I prefer… you can turn it on in dark places and discretely).

      I’ve also played with a refurb 12 mini or something, but haven’t seen any good deals. I think either will be an upgrade for you, you can’t really go wrong since both are 5G and an upgrade from your 8.

      1. If you want, go to settings > battery > battery health and see what your max charge. Mine is still 75% despite being 6 years old (but I don’t wireless charge, etc). If it’s just that, you could look in to a replacement.

    7. Thanks all! I will see if I can replace the battery and if that fails, will order a new phone.

      1. Sorry, one more thought: because you have an 8, you don’t have 5g. That’s not a problem now, but if you keep your phone for 5 more years, it’ll probably become a problem as 4g/LTE loses support. You could get a new battery (70 bucks?) and then a new phone in 18 months or so.

    8. I replaced my iPhone 8 with a 13 in February. The 8 was awful by then. It was easy to do myself from home and I shipped the old one back to Verizon for the monthly discount. I’d say do it asap or wait until the 14 comes out.

    9. Get the one that fits your hand, eyes and budget best. I prefer the minis because I have small hands. In addition to the ones you mention, there’s a new SE coming next week, but if you have an 8 now and like the size, you’ll probably like the fuller versions better. The SE still has a fingerprint homebutton, though, the newer ones are face scan (or code).

      It’s super easy to set up. Do a backup, whatever method you choose before you start.

      Transfer sim card to new phone before you start, but keep the old phone booted, with wifi, bluetooth and power plugged in. The new phone will give you the option to set up using your old phone. They need to be near, and you need to do a QR thingy when prompted, and put in codes when prompted. You might have to give it a few tries to read the QR thingy properly, don’t worry.

      Initially, the phones will say that it’ll take lots of time 5-6 hours, but that’s not really what happens, it speeds up, but don’t do it when you’re rushed.

  7. pre-international travel covid testing doing its job, though i know it is all about to be eliminated. DH was flying to NY to meet with his boss who is based in Switzerland, but instead the boss tested positive in his pre-travel testing and the next day came down with symptoms. though i also think (and i know this ship has sailed), it did not make sense to get rid of so many measures at the same time. like fine, get rid of masks, but keep testing and vaccine requirements at least for a bit. glad we avoided that exposure especially since we have two young kids at home.

      1. Huh? The Swiss have gotten rid of all masking except in healthcare and public transport setting, and are going to end 5 day isolation even for infected people. Their 7-day average case numbers are increasing.

    2. I would rather keep masks in place (indefinitely?) and do away with testing requirements, personally.

      1. Agree. Testing may catch a few people, but it misses a whole lot. Two-way masking is very effective and also helps protect against non-COVID illnesses, which I always pick up while traveling.

        1. Yes we should just keep the masks on transit including flights.

          Airlines brag about the quality of their air filters, but my understanding is they currently only run them when the plane is in flight. People have tested the CO2 in the air on planes when they’re not running their filtration, and it explains a lot; it’s sky high.

          1. This is misinformation. Air systems are always on in flight or you’d be dead; they’re off during boarding because they require Ann airtight seal to work.

  8. I wore a cute white top with narrow black stripes top today. Very cute! Very fresh for spring!

    And then I had a nosebleed all over it. You know tide pens just make bloodstains worse? Now you do. Happy Tuesday everyone.

    2. Oh no! I’ve had two terrible nosebleeds recently, dry winter weather maybe? Spent the morning scrubbing and cursing the previous owners with their cream carpet choices (and blood red in the hallway…)

    3. Ugh, that bites!

      If it makes you feel better, my wardrobe malfuction today: I confused the pocketless pants I’m wearing with yesterday’s similar-but-pocketed pants, so I started my work day by rubbing my phone on my a$$cheek and then chucking it on the floor, instead of it going into the non-existent pocket.

    5. Cold watewash, after Biz made into a paste with liquid stain remover or detergent and left on the spot for about an hour about an hour.

    6. So happened to catch Kelly and Ryan yesterday and they had a laundry guy on, apparently your own saliva breaks down blood if it’s fresh. Also said soak in oxyclean (hydrogen peroxide is too weak today) until it turns pink, and then launder.

      1. Is this why hydrogen peroxide doesn’t work like it used to? Where can we get the good stuff?

        1. Is this why hydrogen peroxide doesn’t work like it used to? Where can we get the good stuff?

          1. Thank you for that detail! Searching for 11% came up with some results. Dissolving blood is literally the only thing I use hydrogen peroxide for, so I think have no reason not to get the higher percent.

      2. I use peroxide on blood stains regularly and it works perfectly (as in, the blood stain literally disappears in seconds before your eyes if you catch it while it’s fresh. Might take a round or two plus a bit of soap if it’s set). Peroxide plus dish soap also works amazing well on red wine stains, so it’s worth keeping around!

    7. My grandmother’s trick for removing blood from clothing was to rub it with ice. It actually works pretty well. The other thing that works for me is pretreating with Seventh Generation Ultra Power Plus detergent.

    8. I don’t know the English equivalent of this but for organic stains, I swear by GallSeife (gallsoap?). I buy it in drugstore chains, saw it also on Amazon.

  9. Random thought of the day: does anyone else remember when Ivanka Trump’s website offered a ton of free desktop backgrounds for download? I think about that a lot because it never made sense to me and I feel like it’s some sleeping malware. Do people care about desktop backgrounds?

    1. Wait – what?! I didn’t know this. Was it pictures of her in glamour poses for the background?

    2. IDK about her’s in particular, but back in the late 90’s when screensavers were a thing that you might download to have a little flair on your big CRT monitor, viruses/malware definitely got passed around that way.

    3. No idea about Ivanka, but I do care about desktop backgrounds! I always find fun nature pictures for mine. I cannot stand the standard blue screen background.

      1. Same! Right now mine is a picture of a big beautiful storm cloud over the New Mexico desert.

      2. I always email myself a fav pic from a recent trip to use as my work background. Right now it’s fields of vineyards from Italy last fall :)

      4. Mine is a cute photo of my husband and my son reading books in the Man Cave at home.

    4. Man, remember when we had our debate about whether wearing Ivanka Trump stuff (which previously many posters had liked) was okay or not okay? What a different world, in so many ways?

  10. I received a bonus recently after some incredibly challenging work and while I intend to save most of it, I would like to buy myself a diamond riviera/eternity/tennis necklace to celebrate getting through this and some very difficult personal times too. Budget is up to $5k, though I would be happy to spend an amount more in the $2 or $3k range. Preference is white gold, graduated size, round or fancy shaped stones (not princess or all baguette though). I have been looking at the Dainty 3 Riviera at Nicole Rose Jewelry and the options at Gem Jewelers Co (the Chloe, though I would hope for a bigger discount around Mother’s Day to get that one in my price range). Any other recommendations? I keep getting ads for Capucelli but not sure if they are reputable. Thanks!

      1. Thanks, not sure why I hadn’t considered that more. My local estate jewelry place is not very reputable so I will cast a wider net!

      2. +1 I have a necklace like this that I got in an auction. I have successfully bought a good amount of jewelry from Heritage Auctions, and highly recommend checking out their frequent jewelry sales.

    2. Guessing you’re looking for lab or moissanite at that price point? I’ve been happy with moissanite.co for rings, haven’t tried their necklaces.

      1. Surprisingly I have found several natural/earth-created options in that price range, was not looking for moissanite specifically, but great feedback about your ring!

    3. Depends on your lifestyle but I never used my rivière at all. Tennis bracelet gets tons of use ( each stone is 0.15ct I think) and so do my diamond earrings.

      1. I have a sentimental, nice pair of diamond studs from my husband that get frequent wear. I don’t do a lot of bracelets- they really annoy me at work. I’ve thought about it and believe the necklace would be a good option for my wardrobe, lifestyle, and the features I like to accentuate (i.e. my collarbone), but thank you for the idea and good to know about diamond sizing!

  11. Question for solo practitioners/ entrepreneurs who work on projects that could be done in-house but instead have been outsourced to you: How do you structure your day? How did you like working in more structured/corporate/in-house environments before going to work for yourself?

    Why I’m asking: I’ve made a career in corporate communications and I do thrive in the corporate environment. I like the structure it gives and the stability it offers in terms of paycheck, benefits, etc. My oldest is starting kindergarten this fall and I can see that in the next few years, I may want more freedom over my schedule and the projects I take on.

    What’s holding me back: fear that I won’t be able to handle the lack of structure/rhythms to my day that my jobs have offered until now. I do have a bit of procrastination and enough symptoms to wonder if I should be tested for ADHD. I have enough contacts to get started on bringing business in, so (I think) this is such a weird hang up to have.

    1. This is NOT a weird hangup. Sole business owner working from home is not for everyone and there’s nothing weird about saying you don’t want to do it. I did it for about 3 years, and then did it in a coworking space for another 3. It was not optimal. I do best by having some coworkers, outside structure, and other people to handle things like ordering the copy paper and dealing with the accountant and getting the computer fixed and upgraded. The financial insecurity was real, and I didn’t like the constant pressure of knowing that there was zero money coming in unless I was actively working on something that would be invoiced to someone.

      That said, there’s no reason not to prep for it so you can make the change if you want to. Start, especially, working on the habits you’ll need to get work done without outside structure and incentives.

    2. So I’ll bite. I’m currently doing something like that (think freelance software engineering), while I also pursue a grad degree. It’s total chaos and I hate it, but it gives me flexibility to do school + work, in a program where people usually have to quit work altogether, allowing me to have income while in school. It also allows me to travel with the people I’m in school with freely, while if I pursued a part time program, I wouldn’t be able to do that. There’s no structure, little accountability, but it works for me right now in my life. It’s a totally reasonable concern.

      Can’t wait to go back to a normal 9-5 when it’s over though.

    3. So I’m a sole practitioner consultant, not exactly a contract worker, which is a little different. I work on projects/studies and when they’re done, I move on to the next one.

      I don’t have a ton of structure in my day but I wasn’t a highly structured person in the office either. I worked in corporate America for 30 years so this is supposed to be my retirement glide path.

      Sometimes I’m too busy and sometimes I’m not busy enough. Projects and deliverables are really up to someone else’s calendar, not mine. I try to schedule work so that it doesn’t conflict in terms of dates, but then dates get moved due to external circumstances and I can’t always do much about that. So it’s not the steady flow day-to-day you hint at. It’s either “I have no work I’m a failure” or “I have too much work, I’m disappointing everyone”

      That said, after having done this for a couple of years, I have no desire to ever be an employee again.

      My structure is that I get up, have breakfast, (my kids are in college so no childcare/school responsibilities for me), check my email & return emails while I’m having tea, shower/groom, and then go into my home office and close the door and make a to-do list for the day. To-do lists are absolutely key for me, and I hand write them every day because that act helps me focus on what I need to get done. Then I get to work.

      I have projects I like and projects I don’t like as much. I tend to avoid the projects I don’t like during busy times, and that’s not a great habit so the to-do list really helps me focus.

      At any given time I’m working on stuff for 3-6 clients so organization is key.

      My least favorite parts of doing this are billing/collectibles and taxes. If you’re not on payroll, companies that are a lot richer than you are can be absolutely terrible about paying consultants and contractors timely. My husband used to work for a very large, profitable company that used about 25% contractors for their IT, and he said all the contractors ever talked about was that they hadn’t been paid in 2-3 months, sometimes more. It totally sucks.

      Good luck. Sorry this was kind of a brain dump on you!!

    5. Also in communications and while I like the idea of being a private consultant from a scheduling standpoint, I can’t make myself do it, when push comes to shove. I would hate business development and having less financial security. I also deal with anxiety/procrastination, and I don’t think flying solo would be ideal.

  12. My long term boyfriend just forwarded me an email his therapist’s notes from his therapy session yesterday. His therapist included several articles about female org*sm and tantric s*x. He forwarded me the email and said “FYI.” I have zero context … we hadn’t talked about s*x recently, we are pretty consistent 2-3x/week – I think I want to wait to chat with him when I’m home from work and face to face, but it’s only 8a my time and I think I’m weirded out that he probably talked about me / us to his therapist. Even though in my head I know people do, and should, talk to their therapists about this stuff.

      2. 100%! I would not be pleased. Of course he talks to his therapist about you since you are probably a huge part of his life but sending you these links about female organism….my initial reaction would be to get defensive.

      1. I’d probably respond with “Sounds like I should hydrate and stock up on lube or where you going somewhere else with that FYI?”

    4. I assume you know him very well; is this kind of “non-communication” typical of him or is it way out of character?

      1. It is pretty out of character. I am relieved I’m not the only thinking “what?” But yes- trying to assume good intentions, and maybe he all of a sudden wants to give me multiple Os or something. I don’t know. Hope to find out tonight without any defensiveness from either side!

    6. I would totally reply ‘forwarding emails with no explanation or context is not good communication. Suggest you discuss your communication skills at your next session.’

      Regardless of the subject matter this is not an okay way to communicate but especially on sensitive subjects, more care should be taken.

        1. Not the person you’re responding to but I’m about as sex positive as they come (get it) but I do think they are sensitive topics and would not like to receive an email like this from my partner with no context.

        2. ‘Sensitive subject’ would be him talking about their $ex life with a third party even if his therapist. Warrants a more personal touch than hitting forward on an email.

    7. Sorry my first thought is the email wasn’t meant for you. He might have been hacked in to?

  13. My father turns 65 soon and will retire. He is taking sailing lessons and has already bought a small sailing boat with my brother who knows how to sail. What would be a good gift for him? A life vest?
    FWIW, they are both in Europe.

    1. I would go on Etsy and commission a nice art print of your dad’s boat and have it framed.

    2. In the US, many places make you have a certain number of certified life vests onboard a craft. Is there a local coast guard rule that might apply to his craft?

      I am a sucker for anything with nautical flags on it as a style motif. I have a scarf with Morse Code on it also.

    3. My dad is in a very similar life stage. I made a big donation to the RNLI and bought him ‘port and starboard’ socks at Christmas. Now looking at companies like Finisterre and Passenger Clothing for warm and cosy clothing to wear on the boat.

    4. This would be a horrible gift for ME, but I feel like a boat person might appreciate a handmade drawing of their boat? Someone gave a family friend a nice sketch of his boat with its name and info on the bottom, and I think he nearly cried.

    6. If it’s a sunfish/laser size, how about some good water proof gear? He’ll get plenty wet sailing a boat of that size, so a good waterproof windbreaker would be nice for spring sailing.

    7. I’ve said it before, but for people who have serious hobbies, they have serious opinions about stuff related to them and an amateur trying to buy a hobby gift is always going to be a fail. If you want to acknowledge he sailing interest, get a card with a boat on it to go with a regular gift. My go-tos for men of that age are Patagonia type pullovers or nice sweaters.

      1. I agree on the hobby challenge! Something sailing-related generally, as opposed actual boat gear is probably more fun. So – the jacket or pullover idea, or Sperrys, or captain’s hat to be cute, or painting of the boat, etc.

      2. Yeah my dad is a serious sailor and would love a gift card to Musto or Helly Hansen for good quality gear. If you want to go with something more cute/personal, he likes books about sailing safety or history, stories of people who have gone around the world alone on a sailboat, etc. There is a whole market of cookbooks for yachting that can be cute.

    8. Ugh we are a family of boat owners (sail and power, all wood, ugh!). We are picky.

      A hat, croakies, sunscreen are all good nods to the hobby without being extra junk. I would consider a whistle for the life jacket he will certainly already own. My dad has owned boats for nearly 50 years and has a captains license. He’s always super responsible and is a strong swimmer. In his late 50s, completely sober, he fell off his boat was quickly swept away from it. Luckily he had someone else on board who couldn’t pull up the anchor or sail the boat but who threw him a lift ring and radioed for help. This was also in Long Island sound, so it didn’t take too long for someone to come help, but ever since then wearing life jackets are mandatory on his boats. The law is that you have to have them on board, not wear them, in most locations.

      The first Christmas after it happened, I got whistles that ended up clip to life jackets for all his boats.

    9. A good portable GPS from West Marine if the boat doesn’t already have one. You could talk to the folks at west marine for recommendations.

    10. My dad has been sailing for years. A book on learning to do knots for sailing, really good sunglasses, a baseball hat, and plastic wine glasses that have the sticky material on the bottom. Maybe a bottle of champagne for his first sail.

    11. Boat shoes? Shirt/vest/other clothing item with boat name & captain or something along those lines embroidered on it?

    12. We just bought a boat. How big is “small”? Will he be taking it offshore or staying inshore? I’d probably get him an EPIRB (rescue beacon – you can look up which ones are supported in the country where he is likely to use it). There are reviews online of the various ones so you can pick one that would suit how he’s going to use the boat.

    13. I don’t know if your dad drinks, but my husband retired and lots of his friends gave him a bottle of this or that (whiskey, aged rum, etc) so I got him a good cocktail book and a shaker, and bonus, I now get a cocktail every Friday night. He’s really into it.

      The best book is The Joy of Mixology by Gary Regan, but my husband also likes tiki drinks and really enjoys Smuggler’s Cove by Martin Kate. And who doesn’t love a tiki cocktail?

    14. I got my dad one of those “Go Anywhere” chairs. They are decently expensive, but my dad liked it so much that he bought a second.

    15. Gift card for store that carries the best nautical maps for your region. Gift membership in local coastal life guardy kind of organization. Vintage books with knots and field crafts, or maybe “Three men in a boat” by Jerome K Jerome.
      Love the life whistle idea – the UK has great orange ones. Does he like fishing? Cross-words? Coffee? Maybe get him a stainless steel French press thermos coffee pot (or a Mocha pot, if it’s espresso he wants). Tin mug. First-aid kit.

  14. Any experiences with having a moving company pack as well as move your stuff? Any watch-outs? And any experiences hiring a separate company (like an organization company) to pack before movers come?

    And any recommendations for Philly-area movers who also pack, and/or companies that would do the packing only?

    TIA!

    1. I think that all moving companies pack except for the small-fry outfits that do local-only moves and are basically just a bunch of guys and a truck.

    2. Purge before you have them come in! Movers like that will pack EVERYTHING – tissues, trash, half boxes of cereal. Make sure that your items are where they are ‘supposed’ to be so that they are unpacked in the ‘right’ spot.

      1. This. Also, it’s okay to pack hints you care about yourself, too – it doesn’t quite have to be all or nothing. I like the purging, but hate say packing up a kitchen.

        1. Every time I pack my kitchen you’d think I was Martha Stewart. I am clearly not my possessions.

      2. OMG this so much. We’ve been in this house for a year, and I’m still searching for and discovering where they put odds and ends (like my Easter decor this week…). We had a junk room in our basement at the last (small) house, and I should have spent more time organizing that with where I wanted the items to go once we had room to put them in their proper places in the new, bigger house. (I inexplicably found my Easter items in the guest room…)

        1. Yes to making sure to set aside things. They will pack everything otherwise. We picked a room and stashed everything in there we didn’t want them to pack and clearly labeled it and talked with all of them to be super clear. Things included vital docs, laptops, essentials for a few days for the transition (we were moving just a few miles away so knew our stuff would arrive same day; if going longer distances I’ve had friends have their things misplaced for months so definitely you be strategic about what you set aside). 10/10 recommend having packers. It’s not organized quite the same way as you’d do yourself but it saves so much time.

    3. We hired a local company for a interstate move to pack and move our 2 bedroom apartment about 2 years ago. They were fantastic. Paying for packing (if in budget) is absolutely worth it. I would just make sure you get rid of stuff that you don’t want to move with, and pre-pack or set aside the stuff you want to take with you (vs. put in storage or that would go with the big moving truck).

    4. The ones I talked to all charge by the hour plus mileage. So if they pack, it costs a lot more than if they were only moving boxes. The upcharge on packing material if you don’t use your own is also quite a bit. If cost isn’t an issue, then it’s definitely nice to have someone do it for you. I personally pack everything that can fit in a box and just have them move the boxes and large furniture.

    5. Have not used them for packing but 100% recommend Broad Street Movers for doing a careful job and being amazingly surefooted on tiny rowhouse steps.

    6. I’ve done a lot of government domestic and international moves and those include professional packing. Organize into piles and purge beforehand. If you are following the packers and, say, dusting or cleaning windows, hold on to your cleaning supplies or they will be packed while you turn around for a moment (it’s happened almost every time for me–I never learn). When you unpack, check inside things. I once pulled a wrapped butcher’s knife from inside a tall boot.

      I recommend designating a closet or bathroom for anything you don’t want pack. Pile it in there and put a huge sign on the door. We would stash our suitcases full of anything we were taking on the drive/flight, pets, and necessary pet supplies. Foreign Service families have all heard the horror story of someone’s cat being packed. Apocryphal? Maybe but given my experiences I could see it.

      Check all drawers, cabinets, and closets before giving the greenlight for the packers to leave.

  15. Music recommendation anyone? I’m yearning for something specific I haven’t been able to find on my own. I want: (1) pretty clear female vocals (think Joni Mitchell, but I don’t love her melodies); (2) interesting musically but also able to fade into the background; (3) relatively calm (i.e. more indie/folk than rock/pop). Maggie Rodgers the closest I’ve found but she doesn’t really capture me. Theoretically Taylor Swift checks all of these boxes, and I do listen to her, but that’s not what I’m craving. Any suggestions?

      1. I was coming here to say Sarah Jarosz. Build Me Up From Bones is maybe one of my favorite songs.

    3. Try Alana Henderson. Ryn Weaver has a great voice but I only know her “Pierre” song. Maybe Phoebe Bridgers and Brandi Carlile?

    6. This might be a stretch but I think the Brazilian singer/songwriter Ceu might fit the bill. Her lyrics are in Portuguese so it will definitely fade into the background if you don’t speak it. Her instrumentation is interesting, modern, and has a lot of diverse influences (indie, pop, jazz, etc.) Her melodies are light and engaging. I randomly bought her self-titled CD at a Starbucks in the early aughts and have listened to it since.

        1. I might be in the same boat. I get lost in lyrics so have to listen to instrumentals or pieces in other languages if I need to actually pay attention.

          1. No artist recs – I just found a playlist called “chill French hip hop” on spotify and went from there.

    8. What about Lizzy McAlpine? Spotify served up her album Give Me a Minute and I’ve fallen in love with it

    17. I feel like we do this well in Canada. My faves are Jenn Grant, Feist, Jill Barber, Amelia Curran, Kinley, Alicia Toner. Some are more indie than others, some have not recorded recently.

      Also Lana Del Ray (if you can tolerate her politics), Lennon Stella, Rilo Kiley, Suki Waterhouse might fit the bill.

    18. So many artists I was going to recommend on this list. If you use Spotify, look for their Women of Folk & Americana playlist. That’s where I found most of these.

      1. Oh wow!! I’ve totally forgotten about Beth Orton. I have a couple of her CDs that I have not put in rotation in forever.

    21. On youtube there is a playlist called Women of Indie Folk. You might check that out and see if you like any of the artists included.

    22. Loreena McKennitt (so, so good), Jann Arden, Sarah Harmer, Susan Aglukark, Amanda Marshall, Nelly Furtado – go, Canada!

    24. Have you considered Jazz Vocalists? Rebecca Pidgeon, Gretchen Parlato, Ella Fitzgerald, Norah Jones?

      1. These are good. I’m a lifelong Ella fan, and Norah is great. I’d add Sarah Vaughan, Nina Simone, and maybe Diana Krall.

    25. Some great suggestions here but I’d add Phoebe Bridgers stat! Checks all those boxes.

    28. THANK YOU!! I am so excited to explore some of these new-to-me options and also to be reminded of Florence and the Machine.

    30. Matson Jones
      PJ Harvey
      Cat Power
      Scout Niblett
      Lhasa de Sala
      Neko Case
      Ani Difranco if you haven’t tried
      Maybe Kate Bush if you haven’t tried (The Dreaming)
      maybe Tori Amos (Little Earthquakes)
      I only know the song “No Roots” by Alice Merton but love it
      soundtrack to Moxie

  16. Anyone else find themselves more drawn to low-impact (e.g. barre) vs. high-impact (e.g. HIIT) these days? If so, have you figured out why? I’m trying to make sure I workout 3-5x a week, and while I know HIIT, running, and weight training get me the best results (trying to loose a good chunk of weight), I feel like I enjoy and look forward to the lower impact workouts more.

    1. Same here, exact same. I feel like I don’t have the energy for the high-impact workouts I used to do daily.

    2. I am definitely feeling this way right now. I am just sort of rolling with it. Hopefully the weather will change soon and I will likely do my annual couch to 5k program. For now, I am considering the low impact stuff good enough and trying to be at peace with it. At least I am doing something!

    3. The best workout is a workout you enjoy because then you’ll do it consistently. Don’t stress about what you “should” be doing and focus on what makes you feel good!

      1. I read The Miracle Pill by Peter Walker, and it was really enlightening on the science and the philosophy of exercise (as well as public health practice and urban design). His argument was whatever you could do regularly and sustainabily was the “best” exercise, in terms of longevity etc. For me, that’s walking and cycling as a form of transport. I walk for an hour a day at a minimum (and cycle when the weather is better), often more if I need to run errands, it’s my turn to do the nursery run, etc.
        I find it really relaxing, I notice the changes in the seasons and the environment, meet people out and about. And for me, doing that low-impact activity everyday feels more effective than something higher-impact 1-3 times a week.

        1. OMG, me, too! My husband got me a Fitbit for Christmas and since then I have been a walking fool and I love it. I mean, I LOVE IT. And my son put this little thought in my brain, which has been great, too: “Well, Mom, humans are built to walk, like, forever.”

    4. I used to be a long distance runner (ran multiple marathons in my early 20s). I’m in my mid-30s now and the lower impact workouts just feel so much better on my body.

    5. It’s okay that you like one kind of exercise more than another. It doesn’t sound like a problem you need to troubleshoot.

    7. My secret weapon is 2 glasses of wine. You know how we used to go out dancing after a few drinks? Yeah well now I do HIIT.

        1. 2 glasses of wine would make me want to fall asleep watching reruns of my favorite show, not lace up my shoes for an HIIT session.

    8. Bouncing and jumping around just doesn’t feel good to me. I like to do to HIIT workouts on a spin bike for that reason.

    9. (1) Co-sign the above. Do something you love.
      (2) Are you getting enough protein? I found that I loved hard exercise a lot more once I did the Whole 30 plan of eating some protein and fat before a workout and protein and carbs after. I cannot, cannot do hard exercise on a fasting belly. Apparently this is a Thing and athletic trainers will make certain athletes eat mid-workout (source: friend who did college crew).

  17. Traveling into NYC later this week. As I generally walk everywhere, I am wondering if I
    can pay for cabs with a credit card?

    3. Yes you can.

      You also might consider downloading and setting up one of the app Curb. When you get in a yellow cab, the screen in the backseat tells you a number and you type it into the app and it syncs with the cab. It saves time at the end of the ride so you dont have to fumble around with your card and wait for it to go through. It’s already paid for (at whatever the final amount is + some tip % you can set). There’s no fee to use the app.

    5. You absolutely can but you should consider paying cash so that the drivers don’t have to pay a fee to the CC company (or at least factor in the fee when tipping). I take a lot of yellow cabs and they always appreciate it.

    6. Uber and Lyft are much more expensive than cabs in Manhattan. Download the Arro or Curbed app.

  18. How do you all store gardening things like open dirt and mulch if you don’t have a shed? I often only need half a bag of potting soil or mulch per season and my yard is too small for outdoor storage. I had it in the garage but would it attract bugs and mice? Ditching the unused portions just seem so wasteful.

    2. If mice can get in your garage, they will be in there for shelter, dirt or no dirt. Can 1000% confirm this. Ditto bugs.
      Rubbermaid tub? Put behind the garage?

      1. I know rats can chew through rubbermaid not sure about mice. I use small steel trash cans in my garage to keep the dog food from getting stale or attracting mice/rats/raccoons. They look like old-fashioned streetside garbage cans. Mine are Behrens trash can with lid, 6 gallon. From amazon or at hardware store.

        1. Mice don’t really care about bags of potting soil or mulch, though. If you’re storing something like birdseed you’d probably want one but it’s just dirt. Ditto with bugs – if there aren’t bugs in it already it’s not going to attract bugs unless it’s damp and there’s organic matter in it. Potting soil is pretty boring and doesn’t require special protection.

    3. Can you get some sort of outside storage bins for stuff like this? That’s what we do. We live in a less upscale area than most people here, so Rubbermaid is fine, but I’m sure there are nicer versions.

      1. This is what I meant by Rubbermaid in my comment above, not just a regular tote. Our version isn’t super attractive, but stores a lot of garden stuff. I’m sure there are nicer versions available, but ours has held up well.

        1. Yes, we have one in the front for kids toys (which means they are more easily accessible for impromptu cricket matches) and one in the back for garden supplies.

    5. Garage will work, but if you have mice, you’ll need metal containers. Old-school trash cans or similar will do. If you don’t have anything, look up feed storage from a farm supply place.

    6. Storing open bags in metal or plastic garbage bins works for me. I keep open bags of bird seed in my garage in a metal bin. I keep opened bags of soil on my garage floor- usually only over winter as by early spring I’m using it. I haven’t had any rodent or bug issues. A friend of mine stores cat/dog food bags in a metal bin outside. Works very well!

    7. I just add it to the garden, surely you can distribute a half bag of that stuff around?

    8. We store garden stuff in a plastic storage container in the basement. (city container garden so definitely no shed involved.)

      We also barter with neighbors as some of them also garden, so we’d pick up a big bag of soil to share among 3 houses, while someone else gets fertilizer, etc.

    10. Reading comprehension fail. Before I got to “like mulch”, my immediate reaction was “in the bedside table, of course.”

    1. Depends a lot on what you want to do with it. As a car replacement, I know a lot of people with Tern HSDs and they love them.

    2. I have thoughts, but what do you want to do with it, and is it just you using it?

    3. Everyone I know who has a Tern loves it – they are truly capable of replacing a car. You’re right to consider it an investment and spend the money toward getting a good one.

    4. OP here -recreational use; exercise; able to keep up with hubs on longer rides. Not to commute.

      1. I’d go with an electric version of whatever he rides then (at least as a starting point) – best way to make sure it’s suitable for the terrain etc. You can get mountain bikes, drop bar road bikes, hybrids, etc, all in electric varieties now.

      2. I have a Momentum LA Free, which I got for the exact reasons you list, and I love it. It’s heavy, of course, but it levels the playing field when I’m riding with the Serious Cyclists.

        1. My ebike is a hybrid style, which I find more comfortable and less scary, even though the Serious Cyclists in my life, including the one to whom I’m married, ride road bikes.

    5. Sounds like Rad Power Bikes might be a good fit for you! They’re solid and fun to ride, also more affordable than the Terns.

      1. Rad Power and Momentum LaFree are both a HUGE step down from Tern in terms of the non-electric components. I can’t speak to the e-assist aspects of them, but in terms of the brakes, shifters, derailleurs, and wear parts (cassette, chain), RP and Momentum are spec’d with bargain-basement parts. That would make me nervous, since the motor is putting more power to those components than a rider ever would alone, and it’s pushing a lot more weight than a similar spec’d non-ebike.
        I’m thrilled to see more people on 2 wheels in my city, but I’ve also stopped many, many times to help people with dropped chains, busted shifters, derailleurs out of whack and the like because they bought bikes that are crap (and would be crap whether they were e-bikes or not).
        If you have the money to spend, spend it on quality.

    7. I have a Specialized Vado and I love it. I bought it mostly for commuting, but I use it for errands and also fun rides that will end in an uphill that I don’t feel like working hard at. It was expensive but I love it, and I paid extra for the bike store to install a really good lock set, including for the rear wheel, so I’m less worried about it. The battery is integrated in the frame so it looks sleek and is less obviously an ebike. Downside is that it’s really heavy and hauling it up the stairs is a pain.

  20. Am I out of touch with new professional norms? In the past 3 months, I’ve had 3 people sign offers to take a job on my team and then renege on the offer before their first day. It’s always been my understanding that this is like a total burn-the-bridge, red-flag, only-in-case-of-extraordinary-circumstances professional faux pas? (And I’d feel the same if a company reneged on an offer too, by the way) But like, I seem to see it a lot more now? How do you all feel about this?

    By the way, for context, these are salaried, $100K+ mid-level corporate jobs with no location requirements at a company that’s well respected. We give candidates plenty of time to think about the offer (basically as much as they want within reason). The ones who told me reasons basically said they got “better” offers (either more $ or a different role), so not like a medical emergency or something like that.

    1. Very bridge-burning, but no one cares anymore. It’s not like Linked In will have a category for this.

      But at least you didn’t on-board these people, bother to train them, and have them quit in 3 months b/c they never stopped looking. In 2022, this may be a win, sadly.

    2. Do you know whether they were waiting on another offer when they took yours. Did you ask any of the other candidates what there reasons were and they did not respond!! Did your HR push them for a response before they were ready.

    3. I wouldn’t take their explanations at face value. A lot of people are using outside offers to get a bump at their current job. Giving them extra time isn’t going to help them decide in your favor, they just want that offer letter to take to their bosses.

      1. Agree, rude and bridge-burning, with a smidge of this thrown in. Maybe pick a few people to follow for a month or so on Linked In to see what happens next?

      2. I agree with this. I’m in higher ed, where the only way to get a raise is to get an outside offer. This means that a lot of people applying for jobs don’t really want your job, they just want a raise at their current job. Sometimes it takes a long time for a counteroffer to come through, which might explain why sometimes people accept an offer and then back out. It’s definitely bad behavior, but it’s also bad behavior on behalf of employers who only promote or give raises to people with outside offers, which has also been shown to have gender discriminatory effects.

        1. I was just coming to say this, only for a law firm. My firm dramatically underpays employees (attorneys and staff) but when someone comes in to resign, their “you are at the top of your bracket” suddenly goes away and they are willing to match. If I went in to my boss tomorrow and said “I am worth another $40K”, he would not give it to me. If I said “I have an offer for another $40K”, he would. Ideally that would happen before I accepted the other job, but sometimes the wheels turn slowly.

          In 2009 I was laid off with two weeks notice and no severance by a couple of millionaires. I try to be a good employee but my loyalty does not extend to leaving money on the table unless there is something else to make it worthwhile, whether that is fewer hours, better benefits, or dramatically better working conditions.

    4. Companies have spent years treating employees like garbage, now people are looking for the best job offer. I don’t blame them.

    5. I’ve been jerked around by so many employers doing wildly illegal things that there is no duty of politeness anymore IMO, most of my peers feel the same.

      1. “Wildly illegal things”?

        Unless you’re talking wage/hour issues and you worked for the Kardashians, I think it’s inevitable that one crosses a line at some point as an employer (sort of like how by driving you probably break 3 laws a day), but bad behavior as a worker reflects badly on you. It’s not excusable. And ought to be explainable (cancer dx means you needed to stay b/c of some insurance reasons and accrued PTO / goodwill). “I’m a flake who burns bridges” is not a good look no matter what happened in the past.

        1. I hope I’m not dating anyone like that. Would probably be checking out other women at our wedding reception. Eeesh.

        2. Sure, if you’re in the 1950s. You really can’t expect people to care about that when companies aren’t putting in near the same level of effort.

        3. One way loyalty is real.

          I just talked to someone who was anxious about reneging on a job they’d accepted because they unexpectedly were offered a job that was 40% higher salary (think education job vs. industry job). They felt they couldn’t back out after accepting, but is “flaking” in this scenario worse for a career than accepting a lower starting salary? I said I doubted it.

          1. I don’t have any loyalty, but I still wouldn’t reneg on an offer. To me, it’s a character issue.

            A friend took some steps after she accepted an offer to buy her house. And then the guy wanted to get out of the contract and get all of his $ back. His agent has a black eye locally and I would never use her and she and him got all nasty to my friend who had a blemish on her “back on the market through no fault of seller” property that she had to relist. Her agent had to do a ton more work for no additional $ on the sale. Some people (not all!) have gone off the deep end with it all being just about them.

          2. That employee absolutely did the right thing for themselves. 40% more money trumps “politeness” any day of the week. Employees are learning to be just as mercenary and bottom-line-oriented as corporations. Welcome to capitalism, folks.

          3. I’d have taken the higher salary job too.

            On the real estate example, that’s why you sign a contract for buying & selling a house and pay careful attention to when earnest money is eligible for refund.

          4. Why didn’t the person just use the pending offer to let the 40% higher place know that they need to get their offer in in the deciding phase? That is what I don’t get. These people just don’t seem to be good at timing and that means they really aren’t that good at the game. They’re not savvy, they just got lucky once. The next time, a dream candidate may come by and that pending offer (heck: even accepted offer) may get yanked back. I can’t help but think that we’re all worse off for this.

          5. 11:34, this is insane. It’s not a character flaw to back out of a job offer, any more than it’s a character flaw to quit your job and get a new one. I’d rather have a candidate never show up than invest a year or more into training them and then have them quit when they are finally starting to contribute. Every man for himself. That’s capitalism.

          6. Anon at 11:45 AM, I think the issue is that there was no pending offer; the offer was unexpected (when you are applying to a lot of jobs of different kinds, sometimes you think you’ve been ghosted when you haven’t been, especially when ghosting from employers in job application contexts is very, very common and a lot of time has passed).

            So no one said it is “savvy” to be unexpectedly offered a job right after accepting another job. I still think it is the right decision to take the higher paying job when there are bills to pay.

        4. My loyalty to corporationsdied when I worked at a major auto manufacturer and I watched them fire a colleague with cancer. Sorry not sorry, no corporation will have my loyalties. My loyalty was to that colleague, staff didn’t even get the afternoon off for his funeral, but don’t worry there was a company wide email about the’tragedy’.

        5. “I’m a flake who burns bridges” is not a good look no matter what happened in the past.

          Real question: if you live in Poughkeepsie, NY and offered me a remote job where I work from Phoenix, and I’m never going to see you in person or even go to Poughkeepsie, what do I care if you’re upset that I flaked out on the job? So what if I see you at a professional conference in a year or two – what are you going to do, throw a fit at the conference in front of everyone? Gossip about me to people who probably have had something similar happen to them, and aren’t going to care that your feelings are still hurt? Are you going to kill a major business deal because you don’t like me and don’t want to work with me? Unlikely, right? You likely have a boss that will tell you to suck it up and work with me and make the deal happen.

          Employers do not have the upper hand they thought they did. Some people are coming into that realization later than others. You’re apparently on the “later” end.

    6. Is your benefits package competitive? No hidden surprises there? Are you generally giving titles at the lower end of what’s possible for the years of experience? Is there a bad apple in your on-boarding HR staff who is scaring people off?

      I realize you can’t control any of the above, but it’s the commonality of the timing that suggests maybe there is a factor here in addition to general rudeness.

      2. I found this out in my current job: they act like the medical benefits are fantastic, then spring it on you after you’ve signed that the benefits they presented AKSHUALLY only apply if you’re within the state where headquarters is located. Remote employees in the other 49 states get an expensive HDHP with a sky-high deductible and coinsurance. The pay bump I got from switching jobs has already been swallowed up because both my husband and I needed surgery within the past year. Once I’m fully vested in my bonus and 401k matching, I’m gone.

        1. My old company was like this. They told everyone they had the best healthcare around and that it was “free,” meaning there were no payroll deductions for the employee.

          Unfortunately, adding any family members was prohibitively expensive – they clearly meant to discourage that – and the coverage was terrible so it wasn’t “free” at all.

          The executives had an employer funded HSA, but not the rank and file. So the executives actually thought it was a great healthcare plan

        2. I get that, but it’s not ghosting a job once you’ve accepted an offer.

          I’d at least respect someone who said “I got an unexpected offer for a 40% raise,” when declining an accepted offer. I get that in a country where you have choices you need to look out for yourself. But there is a bit of lex talionis going on and I have a feeling that the people who are really gunning for #1 will be treated the same whenever anyone has any discretion to give or withhold. Like what goes around, comes around.

          Like if you are playing football in Europe and the NFL calls, we all understand that you pick up the phone and go do that until you are sacked — that is how the game works. The rest of this on the thread doesn’t seem all that unique, unexpected, or life-changing. Those people make exhausting co-workers and you can’t trust them not to stab you in the back or to drop a ton on you when they leave or to really cover you during your vacation after you covered them on theirs. That sort of thing gets old fast. It’s not just bosses and workers. It’s co-workers who seem to catch it both ways.

          1. Sorry, but I’m not obligated to stick it out in a job I don’t like, don’t want to do any more, don’t get paid enough to do, or don’t feel is offering me the opportunities I want because of loyalty to my coworkers. Agree that it gets exhausting when there’s an endless parade of new coworkers – I understand your frustration. But they’re looking out for themselves and I have to look out for myself. None of us are obligated to look out for the company and the company is looking out for itself (and its owners). TBH, I’ve heard sentiments like yours from some of the folks I’ve worked with who have been at one company for decades and are terrified of job-searching. They would rather stay in one place forever than risk rejection, even if the potential change would be positive. If that’s you, that’s fine; just understand you cannot expect other people to hold the same viewpoint. THAT is unfair.

    7. This was going on even before the pandemic but it’s gotten much worse in the last year or so. Talented people always have options and now people have figured out how to leverage those options. In terms of it being “burn-the-bridge,” these people may not be able to get hired by you again but it’s not going to kill their career. Good talent is in such short supply that even if you told an industry colleague “hey, this person ghosted us on what was supposed to be their first day, don’t hire them” it’s doubtful the colleague would listen. That whole “it’s a small world, don’t burn bridges” situation may have been a thing when the world was smaller and much less connected. No one cares any more. There’s no such thing as someone bowing out of one job and having that kill their career; I doubt that was ever actually a thing but in a world of “get a job anywhere and work from anywhere” it’s really not a thing. I think a lot of the “don’t do X or it will kill your career” tropes I heard in my younger days were actually just scary urban myths perpetuated by employers who were intent on maintaining the upper hand in the labor market, actually.

      Just in case anyone else missed the memo on this: employees, especially younger employees (but really anyone and everyone), have figured out that since companies have no loyalty to anyone in a contraction/emergency situation (like the pandemic), they as workers do not need to have loyalty to any employer. Ever. People will jump ship at any time for basically any reason if they feel like they are not being treated well, or could do better for themselves elsewhere. Until we go through another situation like 2008/2009 where there are far more job-seekers than jobs available, the balance of power will stay like this so I recommend just planning for it. Have backup candidates when you hire (and backups to the backups) and for tough-to-fill positions, you need to be networking all the time and having your HR people constantly on the lookout for talent. Paying attention to Glassdoor and Indeed reviews of your company is also a good idea as even if you are not reading the reviews (or you’re reading them and dismissing criticism), potential hires definitely are. P.S., the stranglehold employers had on employees for decades was only perpetuated by employees being disconnected and out-of-the-loop on what other employees knew. The internet has completely destroyed that construct. It won’t go back to the way it used to be unless we get rid of cell phones and the Internet. Good luck holding on to any of the old tropes in today’s world.

    8. It happens. It’s always happened. If it happens a lot, the salary, benefits, and/or job you are offering just aren’t enticing enough.

    9. If you want them not to back out you have to get them to start as quickly as possible.

    10. I mean, sounds like you have some pretty concrete evidence you’re not paying enough. You’re looking for a problem with candidates but you need to be looking for a problem with your organization. It’s not them, it’s you.

        2. You know the adage that if everyone you meet in a day is a jerk, the real jerk is probably you?

          Yes – if a company is losing multiple candidates AFTER they’ve signed the offer then that is something the company has to reflect on. Why are you taking this personally, anon?

        3. It’s just labor market economics. Right now labor is in high demand and workers can (and should) get what the market says they’re worth.

      2. Totally agree. Given this is happening multiple times, it is a sign in a tough labor market that you aren’t competitive and/or perhaps you are taking too long in your hiring process–too many interview rounds, too long to respond to applications, etc.

        FWIW, I’m an old (48) and even I know loyalty to yourself needs to come before company. I went on a sales call the day after my dad died, and my employer at the time eliminated my position later. I’ve worked numerous vacations only to be expected to work more. I’ve had other jobs absorbed into mine without an increase in title and pay only to have my position eliminated. I’ve seen too much (including things similar to the cancer situation above) to know that your primary job is to look after yourself. If your company could get the exact same labor for 40% less, they wouldn’t blink to take it.

    11. Thanks for all the perspectives! To address some of the questions: I know our benefits are competitive and our pay is good but not like “we’re desperate and will throw out wildly inflated numbers” level which I know some companies in our industry are doing. Candidates are not pressured at all to sign immediately, and we actually encourage them to talk to their current company and other places they’re interviewing. It sounds like what I’m seeing is just something that always happened happening more often these days. I think the reason I feel discombobulated about it is that it’s sort of feels like I’m seeing a breakdown of rule of law (exaggeration for effect obviously). Like yeah, I realize some employers have been treating employees badly for decades and now we’re just well…anarchy? I don’t want to go back to where employers had all the power, but I really hope there’s a good middle ground we reach soon!

      1. Think of all labor as contract labor. That is how companies treat employees so I don’t know why employees should be expected to treat the company any differently. Those employees owe your company nothing.

        And in case you think I’m just a young ‘un who doesn’t understand loyalty, I’m 57 and worked for one company for over 20 years. I understand loyalty. But companies are 100% about maximizing profit and shareholder value. Employees are expendable. It’s some form of Stockholm Syndrome to think you owe them anything more than an honest day’s work, one day at a time.

        1. I had a boss early in my career who told me “never fool yourself, we’re all just temps” and I am so grateful I got that advice early on. I had to LOL at the “breakdown of the rule of law” comment above because for decades now the only people who have been subject to “the rules of the workplace” were employees. Anyone who doesn’t get that we’re all just temps/contract labor is setting themselves up for a lot of heartbreak and disappointment, whether they’re employees or employers. The social contract between workers and owners got broken when companies started prioritizing “shareholder value” over everything and laid off people whenever and however it was convenient for them. Employees are not obligated to hold up one side of a broken contract and get nothing in return.

    13. A year ago that would have been very strange. But having been invited to a video interview for a senior director position at a well respected global company, where the questions were pre-recorded, treated by my current employer like very much an expendable asset, and listening to men now be called “they” not “he” etc I’d back out of on an accepted offer if I started to hear buzz words from HR before I even started. Nobody has time for that, it’s exhausting and is a better fit for someone else.

  21. Any ideas why our middle-age rescue dog is peeing little amounts every hour or so? She can hold it for a few hours to pee a “normal” amount, but she has no qualms about going inside and has claimed our dining room oriental rug. The vet says there’s nothing medically wrong. We’ve tried the potty training techniques that have worked when housebreaking our other dogs and they don’t work with her.

    1. Oh, important omission: she will NOT ask out. If you happen to be WFHing, you might notice she’ll walk over near the door or otherwise pace around the room, but she doesn’t vocalize and she won’t use the bell our other dog uses.

    2. I’d get an opinion from another vet. Spay incontinence is really common in shelter dogs who were spayed young. Repeatedly soiling one spot doesn’t really point to that, though. Do the spots where she sleep get soiled?

      For foster dogs I’ve had who weren’t the easiest to housetrain, what’s worked best for me was cleaning the spot as best I possibly could and then making that spot where they ate. The “you don’t go where you eat” instinct is strong in even the most confused dogs.

      1. Thank you for something to google! I looked up spay incontinence, and you’re right, it isn’t leaking – she’s intentionally going, but it’s very frequent. But maybe it’s related? I was relieved to see there’s a very successful drug available for spay incontinence, so I think we’ll go back to the vet and ask about that – maybe it would help.

        She’s a purebred, less common hunting dog and was abandoned on the side of the road. We’ve discovered her proclivity for shredding pillows and blankets to get to the fluff if she’s left alone uncrated – annoying and expensive enough on its own – but I could see this urination thing driving someone to dump a dog they’d spent a pretty penny on. Which is such a shame because she’s so gentle and loving – just have to get this urination thing taken care of.

        Thanks to all the other posters for your suggestions, too.

    3. Roll up the rug, and send it off for cleaning that includes a pet treatment. Replace the pad with one that includes a waterproof barrier. Carefully clean the floor underneath with a pet enzyme cleaner. This did the trick for my dogs who seemed to be in a marking competition in my dining room—not a single incident in the year+ since I did this. I would also take the dog to your vet just to ensure there is no physical problem.

    4. We had a horrible time house training one of our dogs. She also used the same rug. Honestly just blocking off that room helped the most, as well as encouraging her to go out all the time.

      2. Agree. I have a good friend who does rescues and this was a sign of a UTI in her most recent

    8. Mine did and does that too. Mostly she hates the rain and won’t go outside no matter what we do. We’ve cleaned he floor and replaced the rug, but the dining room is her spot (least used room) and I dunno, I just give up and clean it up now. At least we know where she goes. It comes and goes with the weather and also when she’s a little stressed out (like after we’ve boarded her for a few nights).

    9. Did they test her for a UTI? They’re common especially in female dogs. Also, if you remove the carpet, does she still go there? It sounds like you need a good enzyme cleaner designed specifically for dog urine. A typical carpet cleaning solution won’t get rid of the smell (to her nose), so she will keep going back. She may think it is where you want her to go!

    10. Make sure it’s not medical—large amounts isn’t usually marking behavior or leaks. It can often be a sign of a UTI or diabetes.

  22. something I cannot share IRL re: the secrets thread yesterday…

    I recently came off BC to TTC and wow my gardening drive is prompting crazy feelings! I just left Zoom meeting with a longtime collaborator of mine who suddenly is so handsome—nice guy, tall, a seemingly loving father, deep voice, treats me respectfully & seems to think I’m smart.

    SO so not my type until now but I guess hormones have a different idea!!

    1. I think there are articles out there documenting how women are attracted to different types of people when they’re on vs off the pill. Pretty wild!

    2. Yep. I remember looking one day at a colleague whom I had never found attractive – not my type in a million years – and suddenly he was pretty good looking. You’re not alone.

    3. I was legit uncomfortable at how my tastes changed when I took a BCP hiatus before switching to Mirena. As in, I didn’t want to like what I liked. One part of my brain was disgusted by the other part of my brain. Hormones are wild.

      1. Yes! This guy is great as a coworker but I have never thought about this before. He’s 15 years older and a real dude…who suddenly seems super sexy. I’m honestly baffled by my lady parts.

    4. Similar experience here! I had a month between BC methods, and went in to my colleague’s office who was traveling to look for something, and the lingering scent of his cologne was too much for me, ha.

      I’m glad BC exists, but I think we underestimate the harm it does to some women.

    5. While we’re telling secrets… I have never known what to make of this, but I’m consistently primarily attracted to women when I’m on BCP, and not particularly attracted to women when I’m off it. This doesn’t fit with any of my understanding of how orientation is supposed to work. My only theory is that BCP mimics pregnancy and that when I feel even remotely pregnant, I hate how it feels so much that my body rejects men or something.

      1. How funny! I am attracted to both men and women and also notice changes over time, but I have never wondered if BC was a factor. I have thought perhaps seasons are the defining factor, but then again that could just be my weakness for sandals and sundresses!

      3. I don’t use hormonal BP, and am not attracted women (well, I suppose I could be on BP, who knows?), but I do find a great variation throughout my cycle on what kind of men I fancy. For me, it’s definitely about smell. I like different smells at different times.

    6. Never been on BC but I do have a long-running, intense crush on a close colleague. I think he’s HOT.

  23. It’s my birthday today… 39 (and my first as a Dr.). Spending it solo in a hotel in Webster, TX, probably just watchin’ some tv… Please tell me something you loved or learned about your 39th year! <3

    1. I was awfully worried to be nearing 40. Little did I know how liberating my 40s would be….
      Happy birthday

    2. I’m reading between the lines that you’re sad about this “close to a milestone” birthday and how you’re spending it. (I might be wrong. ) If so . . . I’m waaay past 39, and I loved that era. I was old enough to know a whole lot and have a bit of maturity, yet young enough to still have lots of options and time. I also think women get a particular kind of beauty in their 40s, and start to hit the best of several worlds. My 40s weren’t easy for quite a lot of personal reasons, but they were very rich years.

    3. OMG I fell in love with the worst man ever and ended up spending 15 years married to him. Don’t be me!!

      Happy Birthday, Dr. Young’Un!

    4. From a 34 year old hoping to eventually be a Dr., enjoy your birthday! I hope you get birthday cards with Dr. on it! If I had known what a marathon it is I’m not sure I would have started. Congrats :)

    5. From a 34 yr old who eventually hopes to be a Dr. 39 yr old, congrats!!! Hope you enjoy your birthday :)

    6. I had a lot of fun planning self indulgent stuff to do as an OH NO FORTIES EEEK celebration. If middle aged men can have mid-life crises and do stupid things, so can I – very liberating.

  24. This is a long shot, but does anyone have any favorite restauraunts/thing to do in St. Marteen?

    1. We haven’t been back since 2016, but Sunset Beach Bar has expanded over the years, but was still a fun place to watch the planes come in. www . traveltalkonline . com has a very robust St. Maarten board with lots of people posting who are there now or who go every year. Lots of restaurant recs there and they’ll be up to date.

    2. The French places in Grand Case – yum. Haven’t been in about 5 years but had a very memorable dinner at Le Pressoir.

      In general the Dutch side felt extremely American IMHO – that’s where the cruise crowds are, etc – and the further you get from Philipsburg, the better the food.

      1. oh, also, the Maho (aka Airport or Sunset) beach scene is fun to check out once. That’s where the planes land directly overhead as the runway basically dead-ends into the beach. Don’t be one of the idiots who holds onto the chain link fence to get blasted by jet engines – seriously people die – but chilling in the water while the planes come in is no-risk and unique.

  25. I posted about this yesterday later in the day, so I’m trying one more time in case anyone has additional thoughts!

    I’m considering an offer from a law firm that looked and felt like a good move, but the compensation is purely commission-based. I could afford to take some risk, but there’s something about the whole idea that bothers me and I can’t put my finger on it.
    Has anyone dealt with this? Is it a reasonable dealbreaker?

    I didn’t even know that this kind of system existed for non-partner lawyers, aside from contract type gigs.

    1. Sounds like a fast way to do a lot of work and not get paid for it. Commission based structures are notorious for game playing, and at a firm I could see your time written off, not getting matter or origination credit, etc. if you’re going to do it, just hang out a shingle and at least get paid for the work you do. In other words, big ole nope for me unless I was absolutely desperate.

    2. This would be a no from me, the law firm isn’t taking on any risk this way, it’s more beneficial to them than it is to you, especially in the case of any illness or emergency.

      1. Thank you! I think this is what has been bothering me that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

    3. I did this for the first couple of years of my practice. I would not recommend it. Firms who offer this usually say that you can make up to $X amount on this structure (with $X usually being a decently high amount) and while that is technically true, you almost never reach that amount. If you were actually going to consistently bill any decent amount of money, the firm would offer you a salary because it would be cheaper for them to pay you a salary rather than offer commission. The reason they are offering commission is usually because they cannot guarantee enough work to make it worth their while to offer you a salary – which in turn means that you won’t make very much.

      1. +1. I think a hybrid approach can be fair, but unless you’re an equity partner, you should be getting some level of guaranteed income.

    1. Did you check the petite dimensions? Looks like they’re available and in stock.

      1. I never think of petites! Generally the waistbands hit in the wrong spot for me, but I love this enough it might be worth ordering to try.

    2. This would be possible to take up at the waistband (versus hem) any competent seamstress could do it. It’s more work than a basic hem though.

      1. I assumed that would be how it would have to be done, on both the underslip and the mesh, I’d still probably lose an entire tier of the print. I may try to order the petite and see if it works, and keep shopping.

      1. Where I live in Europe, the average woman is 5f6, so depends on where you are.

  27. Paging Canadians: Are there products that can’t be sold or are difficult to sell across provincial boundaries?
    I’m working on some writing on internal markets and can’t find a great “case” for Canada… I now know more than I ever want to about Australian heavy vehicle regs and electricity markets…
    Can I please finish this project and go back to writing about the actual interesting side of politics?

    1. As far as I’m aware the only things there are laws about in this respect are alcohol, there’s a strong brewing culture in Quebec that’s fiercely protected and some curious rules about wine. I work in Canadian policy, but obviously I’m human so there might be something I’m missing.

      1. Super, I had a hunch alcohol was the main one. I know there are issues around recognition of certain qualifications etc, but I was hoping for a more product oriented example, as it’s more relevant to a post-Brexit UK than professional mobility. Off to read about Canadian craft beer.

      2. Quebec hydro electricity is also fiercely protected. Other provinces (NL) are not allowed to wheel power through Quebec to sell it to the US.

        It’s like if they made Alberta sell all their oil to BC.

        1. I didn’t include hydro because Quebec is its own little island and the rest of the provinces cooperate. Whereas alcohol is messy between all provinces.

    2. Alcohol and tobacco and marijuana are main ones in terms of ‘goods’. Many provinces feature promotional labelling on all types of products made in their jurisdiction.

      Professional mobility is also not seamless. It’s better than it used to be but not as straightforward as somewhere with a unitary state system. Drivers licences are also provincially regulated.

    3. Yup, booze. There was a major Supreme Court case in the last couple of years. There are probably some uniquely Quebec regs RE dairy and First Nations have intersection as it pertained to gas and tobacco but I can’t at all remember the nuances I just vaguely recall it had cross border implications.

    4. Cheese! Actually there’s a whole series of different regulations for interprovincial food sale and distribution. Then you add in provincial dairy issues and it gets messy.

      Otherwise – alcohol is the big one. Check out R v Comeau, 2018 SCC 15 (aka the “free the beer” case), which I maintain is stupid because every single person who lives in ottawa (including all of the justices) drives to Quebec for the cheaper wine.

      Also a current huge issue with potatoes in Prince Edward Island – there was one field I think with some kind of fungus so now they can’t ship any of them anywhere and they’re desperately trying to give away millions of tons of potatoes.

      Quebec also has totally different packaging and labelling laws for products so that might be an issue of interest ? Not to mention consumer liability and warranty protections there.

      Contests and raffles are also provincial.

    5. Up until 2019, there was a limit on how much alcohol you could bring into Ontario from other provinces (which taxed alcohol less) – https://hellolcbo.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/1370/~/transporting-beverage-alcohol-across-provincial-borders I vaguely recall there was an important federalism court case related to this…

      Product packaging rules (requirement for French in Quebec) means that some things can’t be sold in Quebec, but most manufacturers have a Quebec-compliant package that is sold everywhere.

      The best phrasing in Canada is searching for “interprovincial trade barriers” – found some weird stuff online that I wasn’t aware of, such as: https://www.businesscouncilab.com/work/money-on-the-table/

    6. And then I believe there was an Alberta boycott of BC wine over the Trans Mountain pipeline. I think it was going on when we were in Victoria, so late spring 2018. I believe that was put in place at the provincial level. Might give an interesting point in time look and then a look at what happened when they reversed it.

  28. I need lounge pants. Not obviously pajamas, but could be slept in. Not joggers or leggings.

    I am 5’10” so I may or may not need a talk for the length. These are pants that will be for the house but can be worn to and from the bus stop, or in a car where I have no plans to get out but could if I had to (eg. School dropoff).

    1. I bought a 2 pack from Costco that would fit the bill. Wide leg, soft material, could be worn to sleep or outside of the house. I’m 5’8″ and they are long enough.

    4. You might look at the perfect fit fleece pants from L.L. Bean. These are my go to pandemic pants

    5. Old Navy has lots of options and nearly everything they carry comes in tall sizes.

  29. Any suggestions for Achilles tendonitis pain? I’ve been taking Motrin and icing my heel, and I just started using a night time brace two days ago. No relief so far…this is miserable! Also, shoes/insoles recommendations to avoid this. I think my winter boots aren’t supportive enough.

    1. A shoe with a slight heel is your friend. Think about a gentle wedge. It sounds odd, but that pain is made worse by your calf having to stretch fully to flatten your foot to the ground. Rest is the best. When you can tolerate it, calf stretching will help in the long term. Good luck!

      1. Thanks…my partner is on me about rest, too. It’s just so hard! The wedge makes some sense actually. I’ll try some sneakers with a bit of a wedge.

    2. My husband has some weird tendonitis pain in his heel, and they told him that taping it to support the ligament so it’s not stretched to its max all the time will help, so he’s been doing that and feeling better.

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