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I've had these fun “confetti” pumps on my list of things to recommend for weeks — and now the shoes are part of the excellent Nordstrom sale going on. I love to think of them worn with a white suit like the one we featured last week (which is also on sale now, I believe 40% off), but I also think they'd be great with a simple black or gray dress if white isn't your thing. They were $345, but are now marked to $207 at Nordstrom. L.K. Bennett ‘Flossie' d'Orsay Pump (L-2)Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
CountC
I love these. My budget does not.
Anonymous
I would like something like a bowling ball or old lineoleum — swirly and doing well with spilled beer.
Associate Life
Sometimes, all you can do is laugh at the things partners get annoyed with. I was asked to draft an agreement for a client I will call William. I draft it. Partner calls me to say “you have to use his legal name for a legal document.” I wonder if I accidentally wrote Bill. I check it. It says William. I call partner back and let him know that I haven’t changed it because I used William. Partner says his name is Charles! I look in the file and it doesn’t say Charles on any documents. Now I’m worried partner is confused. I still change it but I send it back and say that I couldn’t find any reference to Charles in the file but I still made the change. Apparently, the guys legal name is really Charles though he goes by William (names changed but that different with the name he goes by having its own host of nicknames none of which have anything to do with his legal name) and it is actually not documented anywhere in our file. The guy just told partner on the phone. Who never told me. Except to be annoyed that I didn’t know it by magical psychic powers. Partner is actually great to work for and will laugh about this next week and apologize for not telling me so I know I am very very lucky in that regard. Law firm associate job descriptions really should come with a line that say “psychic powers preferred.”
TO Lawyer
LOL.
this is pretty funny. I can’t count the number of times the partners get annoyed for something they never told me about. I just laugh it off now.
Anonymous
+1 million to your last line. And this story is hilarious.
Mouse
I worked for a partner I really felt comfortable with. When these kinds of things happened, I’d send the revised draft with the note: “I haven’t yet mastered telepathy, but it’s on my ‘To do’ list!”
Anonymous
So I apparently worked for the nightmare version of this guy. I was supposed to docket dates set by the court at hearings that I was not permitted to go to, and that he didn’t tell me happened (so, I couldn’t even be proactive and ask him if there were any new dates after the conference, because I didn’t know he’d gone to a conference at all). And then there was screaming when he missed a court date. Yeah. (And he had no idea why he could never keep associates for more than a year or two…)
anon
Same. I work for one who requires telepathy and is actively trying to blame me, the junior associate, for his mistakes and failures with the client. Like, blatantly.
BeenThatGuy
I laughed so hard at your last line. I have a story, almost as ridiculous:
A member of the Board lost a pair of cufflinks that were a gift from the Chairman of the Board (5 plus years old). Chairman wants to replace them. And it’s my job to track down the details. A few issues: no one remembers where they were from, how much they could have cost or what they looked like, a specific window of time when they were purchased, and my favorite, if they were purchased personally or through the company. I was also given explicit instructions to NOT contact the Board member because it was going to be a surprise.
Want to guess how it all turned out? SMH
Bensonrabble
Wow! That’s a story for the ages
Anon
My boss’s specialty is the 6:30 PM call asking where is that thing I never asked you for that is now late?
Blonde Lawyer
Oh I have one! This is at a prior job. The firm would do a weekly email listing all new firm clients, the partner on the file and the initials of the associate the partner would be assigning work to. The email was just for conflict check purposes. Generally speaking, at this firm associates were not expected to be proactive. There wasn’t a ton of work to go around and a partner would be upset if an associate just did work without it being assigned because that meant the partner couldn’t do the work. This was during the recession / legal market crash when partners were hoarding work.
I was apparently linked with a partner on a case on one of these weekly conflict emails. The partner forgot a deadline. He didn’t do the work or assign it out. We had never talked about the case nor had he even mentioned that he had linked with me. (The system required linking and partners would just put random associates as a placeholder). Rather than just admitting the error and working to fix it (it was fixable) he instead made a big issue about how I hadn’t met the deadline. I told him how he had never even assigned me anything on the file, nor had he ever given me the file or even discussed the file with me. His response was that since he had linked to me on the weekly conflict check email (that had 30+ cases on it) that I should have then researched all deadlines and have reminded him that one was coming up.
If I did that on every case I was linked (but not active) on all of that time would have been written off and I would have been in trouble for trying to churn work.
Betty
That last line is so accurate.
I worked on a CLE with Partner that was being hosted by another biglaw firm. Day before the CLE, Partner calls and asks me to make sure that there will not be any last minute technical problems at the presentation (which I was not invited to). So I will add to my resume: predictor of things that have not yet happened (and yes, I sheepishly called the other biglaw firm and asked if they needed anything from us) and fixer of IT issues when I myself am not at the presentation.
CorporateInCarhartt
Love the last line. I got an email a few months ago from the managing partner where he directed me to circulate some documents I drafted ASAP. Confused, I scrolled through the email, which was a forwarded email between him and some clients. Several emails prior, he had written “CorporateInCarhartt, please circulate the documents.” Problem was, I wasn’t copied … So when I replied to him, I sent the docs, then added “I would have sent them earlier, but you didn’t copy me on your email.” He replied “I expected you to anticipate the need.” I replied “I’m good, but not that good.”
Mouse
“I expected you to anticipate the need” is the most grating phrase. Yea? Well, I expected you to be able to compose an email. So I guess we’re both expecting things out of line with reality!
Trish
lol! I am not a partner, I work for the government as a lead attorney. I have totally done what he did, and I would laugh if called on it.
mistake at work
I made a really huge mistake at work and it was a stupid mistake. I feel like I’ve ruined my reputation and I’m never going to get better work because of it. Not sure what to do :( Ugh. Worst day ever.
Nati
We all make mistakes. Sure, some seem more stupid in retrospect than others, but I think most of us have been where you are right now. It usually possible to recover with grace. Own up to the mistake, do what you can to make it right, sit down with a cup of tea sometime soon and think of how you’ll ensure something like this doesn’t happen again, and also, be compassionate with yourself.
Betty
Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone makes at least one huge big mistake. The mistake will not define your reputation. In fact, in my experience, how you respond to a mistake can improve your reputation.
What can you do to make this better? At minimum, after you have sufficiently freaked out, go to your supervisor, apologize for the mistake and for putting the supervisor in the place where they have to ___ (explain your actions to client, try and undo what has been done, etc.) and offer a solution. If you do not have a solution, indicate that you are searching for a solution and will report back tomorrow morning.
mistake at work
Thanks to both. This makes me feel better. I’m in a competitive environment and feel like I’m the only person who makes mistakes around here.
anon
I think more people make mistakes than you realize but you dont know because they dont go around talking about them. I learned early in my career that repeatedly bringing up a mistake once it was over, or beating myself up over it in front of my coworkers was more about my own anxiety than it was about anything else. I doubt it did much to better my reputation or increase anyone’s confidence in me.
Once it’s over and dealt with, try to get over it and keep moving forward. If you just have to talk about it to get it out of your system, do it with a friend, not a coworker.
Betty
I think if you handle a mistake with grace, especially if you own up to it early and devise a solution, confidence in you can actually grow. Your superiors will know that when you make a mistake, you will own up to it and make it better, and they will be more likely to trust you as a result. The underlying truth is that we all make mistakes. It is expected. If they do not trust you to come forward with a mistake, then they are more likely to feel the need to constantly check-in or look over your shoulder.
Betty
One more follow-up: As a junior associate, I made a huge, big, bad mistake. I thought I would be fired when it was discovered (I didn’t realize that the mistake had been made until the court called us out in a published opinion). I spent days in an absolute panic, convinced that my head was going to roll. My favorite partner read me the riot act and was livid. Fast forward four years: I was now in a supervisory roll and a junior that I was supervising made a huge mistake. I took it to my favorite partner. He was livid. I thought the junior’s head (and maybe mine) was going to roll. Then, Favorite Partner looked at me and said, “We all make mistakes. It is part of learning. You have to have the fear of god put in you, and you become a better attorney for it. It made you better.”
Jules
Yep, it really does happen to everyone. I’m 25 years out of law school, name partner in a boutique firm, and have made more than one mistake, at least one of which I considered huge at the time. And I wish I could say that it never happens even now; recently both my secretary and I both somehow failed to docket a fairly minor filing date in a pending case and didn’t know about the problem until the opposing side sent their filed document to us. I scrambled to get a document written, notified opposing counsel of the error and asked if they would object to a one-day extension, did a matter-of-fact motion to the court that acknowledged the mistake and asked for leave to file it late. The court approved it, so even though there was a lot of angst on my part it was taken care of and in the scheme of things was NBD. And we are doubling down on checking all orders, scheduling rules, etc. to make certain this particular mistake doesn’t happen again. But will I make some other mistake sometime? Sure.
You take responsibility for the mistake, fix what you can, learn from it and move on.
Mistake at work
Thanks so much everyone. I did learn, big time, and will remember to try to handle myself with grace rather than panic. Nice to know I might still have a future
AIMS
Favorite white jeans for the summer? Would like something that does not show off all my butt dimples and ideally $60 and under.
BeenThatGuy
Try Loft. I have a pair from there and haven’t been disappointed.
Anonymous
Yup, Loft.
Anon
+1
Anon8
Got a pair of skinny jeans from The Gap. They may have been over $60 though. I don’t remember the exact price. Old Navy, The Limited or Express might have some options too.
Anonymous
I would like to know this too. Most jeans these days are made thin with lots of stretch, which is great when they’re blue, not so much when they’re white (and consequently sheer). I’ve considered buying non-skinny jeans to combat this problem but I’m so used to skinny jeans, anything else looks weird.
Meditation
Anyone who can recommend a pair with a bit more support/lift in the rear, in addition to smoothing the dimples? Willing to pay more…
DI Mom?
After reading the comments about adoption a few posts ago I thought some of you may be able to provide some insight for me. My husband and I just learned that our only options for having children will be adoption or donor sperm. Has any one used donor sperm and have stories/information they are willing to share? We are having a hard time adjusting to this news. Neither option seems great right now.
SuziStockbroker
My neighbours have three boys all conceived with the sperm of a single donor.
Much less invasive and less costly than donor eggs!
I realize you are disappointed (and you have every right to be). BUT, being a parent is the endgame, right? As far as “not-the-fairytale” stories go, this is actually a better case scenario.
anon
Lesbian couple friends used donor sperm. It’s like genetic shopping, which is both cool and admittedly challenging.
Adele
I know people who have done both. I think it depends on whether it is personally important for you to have a biological child, at least from your side of things. That’s obviously a very personal decision. But for me, I think if my husband and I weren’t going to be able to have a biological child together, I would want to adopt a child. Partly because there are so many children that need homes, but partly because I would feel like we are coming to this child from the same exact place. Not sure if that makes sense, but I think there would be something special about it for me.
CHJ
I’m friends with a lesbian couple who used donor sperm. Neither one of them had fertility problems, and it sounds like the process was fairly easy. They picked a donor who had a mix of their ethnic backgrounds and used the same donor for both of their children. In your case, you could pick a donor with a similar ethnic/genetic profile to your husband. Like Suzi said, I know this is disappointing, but it really is the easiest fertility problem to overcome. I would do it in a heartbeat in your shoes.
Betty
No advice but wanted to say that I am sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like a huge loss for you both (it would have been for my husband and I). Take some time to grieve if you want to before looking at next steps.
Anonymous
If either our sperm or eggs weren’t viable, I’d want to adopt because I wouldn’t want a child to be more me than him or vice versa. (But I also sort of feel a pull to adopt, with no evidence that either of us has fertility problems, which probably isn’t totally normal).
Anonymous
Meh- I wouldn’t call it abnormal. It’s just different than some.
Husband and I always knew we wanted a couple of bio kids but also were very interested in being foster parents with the possibility of adopting via foster care always out there. Well, as fate would have it, we had one bio kid and our options for having another bio kid would require a surrogate.
We don’t know what our ultimate decision will be, but we may very well choose just to be foster parents/adopt through foster care. Convincing people ‘no, really! We’ve actually been planning on doing this all along, this just changes things a bit.’ has been the challenging part.
Also, OP: THERAPY. Let him grieve. And let yourself grieve. I mourn the fact that I can’t give my husband more babies. I have literally cried my eyes out over this. I feel like it is a failure on the basest level and I am letting him down in the most basic of ways. Before you go ahead with a decision, let both of yourselves process this.
Betsy
I’m a sperm donor baby (my parents are lesbians). It’s a non-issue for me – my biggest issue is not being able to answer family medical history questions. I think generally more information about the donor’s background is shared now then when I was born, so that might be less of an issue now. However, I do kind of wonder whether it has the potential to be more emotionally loaded for a straight couple. I think you would really need to talk through whether your husband is going to struggle with the idea of not being biologically related to your child when you are (vs. adoption where you would be on equal footing in terms of neither of you being biologically related), and when/how you are going to tell your child. There was a time period in my teens where I had some complex feelings about it, but it’s not something that has ever bothered me since.
DI Mom?
I definitely think there are different considerations for straight couples vs lesbians, but your perspective is really helpful. Thanks!
NYNY
A close friend went through this and chose donor sperm. Her husband has been great about it, and they have told their now-6-year-old daughter about how she was conceived. The child is a mini version of her mom, but has much of her dad’s personality. It’s not all genetic, and he is very much her father, even if the biological connection isn’t there.
They did go through IVF to get pregnant, which is a huge commitment of time, energy, and hormones. You may want to discuss if that’s something you’re willing to do. Also, you may want to seek out support groups. You’re not alone!
DI Mom?
Thanks everyone for your comments. There are certainly a lot of emotions and considerations in play. As noted in the earlier thread, adoption is very expensive especially after spending a fair amount of money to learn we can’t have biological children. Our therapist told us, healthy infants up for adoption don’t lack for homes. Since foster care adoption isn’t an option for us, that really helped alleviate one reason for feeling selfish when thinking about using donor sperm. Only a hundred more emotions to wade through I guess.
Ms B
Your therapist may not appreciate the reality of the current adoption system. There are lots of healthy infants who need homes, but many of them happen to be of African-American, Latino, or mixed-race origin.
Also, on cost, a domestic adoption and IVF not covered by insurance cost about the same for most people. The difference is that with adoption you have a child at the end and with IVF . . . well . . . you can see the odds for yourself on the CDC website.
That said, I second NYNY’s comment that a parent is a parent, regardless of biological connection. My brother is clearly my parents’ kid, even though he joined our family via adoption and The Kid is clearly our child regardless of the fact that we do not share genes. Don’t let the genes be the deciding factor in your decision; do what is best for your family to be and what gives you the best opportunity to parent.
Merida
I agree there are likely different/more difficult emotional considerations with a straight couple, but as one half of a lesbian couple that used donor sperm for our two kids, I will say that it was a really fun experience shopping for sperm together! Some banks have features like baby pictures and recorded (voice only) interviews, and we honestly had a great time browsing through our options. We were fortunate that we were pretty much in immediate agreement about “the one” – I could see the whole thing working out differently if you have conflict over it.
FWIW, my wife is bio mom to both our kids due to my fertility issues (so I’m your husband in this situation), and its been a wonderful and inspiring experience to learn just how little a biological connection matters when it comes to loving your family. The bonding that happens when your wife is pregnant with your child seals the deal, and the lack of genetic link really never matters. You’ve still made a baby together, just with slightly different tools.
Anon
We have two kids by donor sperm and are in the process of adopting our third child. I could share volumes about it. Feel free to email me at westsidebee2 at Gmail.
Anon
We unsuccessfully tried donor sperm before moving on to adoption. The databases are pretty thorough and we picked a donor that was most like DH.
JP
I’m 11 weeks pregnant w donor sperm because of male factor infertility. We went through California cryobank and picked a guy who looked similar to my husband (you can see childhood photos) and had similar ancestry. The process of picking the guy was kind of fun, actually. There was a grieving process in deciding to go this route, but my husband will be the dad in all the ways that actually matter, and I really really wanted to be pregnant, so we made this decision. Feel free to email me at josiepyeavonlea at g mail dot c o m if you want to talk about emotions, costs, process, any of it
Cimorene
I am friends with a lesbian couple who used donor sperm and donor eggs, and I also know a straight couple who used donor sperm and the mom’s sister’s eggs, with the mom carrying the pregnancy. I know lots of other permutations and variations of all kinds to make up the genetic material that went into the baby — but regardless of that material, the people or person raising the child is the child’s parent or parents. I’m so sorry that you and your husband are experiencing this, but your children will be his regardless of where the sperm came from. With the lesbian couple, even though neither mom has any genetic connection to their kids, the kids have tons of traits and mannerisms that mimic their moms. So much nurture over nature. Good luck and I wish you the best!
Recent Grad
Shopping help! Buying a new wallet from Madewell and can’t decide between black and brown. I already have a purse from Madewell in the brown so I don’t know if it is better to get the match or the contrast.
For what it’s worth, I work in a very conservative industry and will be using for both work/weekends but I think both colors are fine. Just not sure what I prefer…
Link to follow.
Recent Grad
https://www.madewell.com/madewell_category/BAGS/poucheswallets/PRDOVR~B2244/B2244.jsp?color_name=english-saddle
Maddie Ross
Totally personal taste, but I dislike matching handbags and wallets. It’s just to twee for me. So I would probably go black for that reason alone. That said, I’m in law, which isn’t the most conservative anymore, but it’s not totally flashy and I’ve always had pink or other bright colored wallets. No one has ever blinked an eye.
Anon
Nothing’s harder to find at the bottom of a purse than a black wallet. Get the brown. Or the red. Or the purple.
Anonymous
Get a fun colour! Much easier to find in your bag, as someone above me said.
Ms. Text-a-lot
For those of you who don’t have live-in partners, can you give me a sense of how you tend to communicate on a day to day basis? My boyfriend if over a year strongly prefers to communicate via text message. I don’t like it as much but got used to it early in our relationship because we were seeing each other a lot in person anyways. Our situation has recently changed, though. He’s taken a new job and his hours have increased drastically. There’s no real oppourtunity anymore for phone calls in the evenings or to see each other in person more than once (maybe twice) a week. I’m having a hard time adjusting to text message as our principal mode of communication. It doesn’t feel satisfying to me and I find myself missing him even if we’ve spent all day messaging back and forth. Any suggestions?
emeralds
My boyfriend and I both hate talking on the phone, so texting has always been our default way of keeping in touch. We’re medium-distance and don’t see each other on weekdays, but spend almost every weekend together (for now! we’re moving in together this summer). I’m not sure how we would have handled a mismatch if there had been one, but even as a lover of texting, I don’t think I would be happy long-term with a relationship that only included texts and 1.5 dates a week. Is there any chance that his increase in hours is going to taper off?
Anonymous
People still talk on the phone?
Anon
Maybe it’s my German showing, but I’m a big fan of the texting and so is the boyfriend, also German. We’ve actually never talked on the phone in more than a year. If he called me my first reaction would be alarm.
It’s just easier on both our lives, schedules. But maybe not my eyes.
Ellen
I hate texteing. When I was dateing Sheketovits, he would ALWAYS text me, and it would pop up on my iphone at the MOST inopurtune time’s. Right when I was makeing an argument in court, my Iphone would go BING, and his silly face would pop on to the screen. The same happened whenever I was out with a cleint eating lunch. It got to the point that I had to turn my phone OFF whenever I was with a cleint. The saddest part was that he had ABSOLUTELEY NOTHING TO SAY! He would send dumm picture’s of him or something he saw in the street. One time he took a picture of horse maneure, and said “thinking of you”. I was MORTIFIED b/c the horse maneure was VERY visibel on my iphone. FOOEY on HIM!
DC Anon
Maybe one or two texts a day and a few short emails with links to things that we found interesting, commentary on how the day is going, etc. No phone calls ever. If he calls me, it’s because he needs some info from me immediately or there’s some kind of emergency.
Can you arrange to spend the night at his place a couple nights when he’s working crazy hours? If you’re low impact about it (not keeping him up all night talking), it seems like that could work for both of you. Sometimes it’s just nice to have your partner physically there in bed next to you even if you haven’t gotten any real hang-out time.
Anon
We text only once or twice a day (he focuses completely on work while he’s there) and we talk for 30-60 minutes every night. Long distance, 9 months.
Perdita
The first time I called my boyfriend, he thought there was a big emergency. I was just tired of typing. Now he’s used to an occasional phone call. Just make him deal – call him the next time you’re texting after work.
Meditation
This whole thread makes me sad.
Really?……
Anonymous
I thought this was an interesting essay and relevant to the discussions here about what constitutes normal “fighting” within a marriage. http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/22/fashion/marriage-breakups-separation.html
(Full disclosure – I’m a loud, passionate person and my husband is too and occasionally we scream at each other.)
Sydney Bristow
Granted I’ve only been married for less than a year, but I think the author is conflating 2 things. Fighting and engaging.
In our 4.5 years together, my husband and I have only fought once. We’ve calmly disagreed and picked a solution or agreed to disagree on other things but actually fought just that once. Part of why I’m so happy with our relationship is that we don’t do this.
On the other hand, we often have deep, engaging discussions where we express opposing views. We can passionately discuss these things without fighting. These topics can be anything from things going on personally to external things like politics. I’d feel sad if our relationship didn’t have this, but I’m not sad that we don’t fight.
Anon
This is how we are as well. We have lots of really great discussions, we disagree sometimes, we get mad at each other sometimes. But we don’t yell at each other. We are both quiet people, but we are passionate as well–towards each other (we have really, really great s3x) and towards things care about. I agree there is a difference between fighting and engaging.
My relationship before my husband was full of fighting. Yelling and screaming at each other, he would throw things, call me names. He was so incredibly passionate about everything, which made him fun to be with when he was being nice (we also had incredible s3x), but he was too much to deal with when he was mad.
I much, much, much prefer my level-headed, communicates clearly, sweet, smart, interesting husband.
Pam
This is so smug. Good for you, I guess?
Sydney Bristow
I truly didn’t mean to be smug. I’m sorry if it came across that way.
NewRecruit
It IS smug- AND sweet… and good to hear. I’m happy for you, definitely. It’s always the quiet ones that surprise me.
Anon
Me and my husband fight rarely…but we talk a lot.
Now that I think about it, I feel surprised that I can talk to one person so much for years and not run out of things to talk..!
No Yelling
This. Thirty years of marriage. Only one true yelling, fight. Intentionally chosen partners who could do this – on both sides. Personality and temperament matters.
color me patterned
I read this article a couple days ago and thought it was excellent. I really identified with her description of her relationship with her ex, and I made a similar jump to having a relationship where I could communicate more openly and connect on a level that I was missing before.
Anonymous
I’m convinced that some people are high conflict, others are lower conflict, and that the key is to be on the same page. My ex-husband was high conflict and it was SO stressful for me. Lots of loud arguments. My now husband is low conflict, similar to me, and we have tense discussions when disagree, but don’t really argue. It’s much much easier for me to deal with.
Anon
I agree with the comment about being high or low conflict and being on the same page. My husband and I are both high conflict and honestly I think we would both be very unhappy with a low conflict partner. We definitely have shouting matches — but I think the key is we do end up really listening to each other, apologizing for our hotheads, etc.
Adele
Help me figure out my shape. I’ve always thought of myself as an “hourglass” because I have a small waist, but my bottom half is where I tend to gain weight and it’s definitely a bit “heavier” than my top. My hips though, while wider than my waist, which is small, aren’t so wide it seems because most “curvy” pants don’t look right on me and can be baggy/frumpy. On the other hand my thighs are definitely “thick” – like profile/side view tends to be bigger than the front view. So, in sum, I feel like I am “curvy” but “straight” fitting clothes tend to fit me better. Traditional measurements would be 34-24-36. Should I stick to trying to buy “curvy” clothes? Go for “straight” cuts? Something else?
X
I think I saw something that describes a body shape like yours as an “x” shape rather than an hourglass. Sometimes just knowing what to google can help.
anon
you could also be an “8” shape, which is similar to an hourglass but with high hip bones (a long pelvis, basically). I am that shape and because the wide part of my hip is higher than where pants expect it to be, the curvy fits are usually baggy.
Seattle Freeze
Yup, I’d call this an X shape – like an hourglass, but with the widest part of the hips lower down (as opposed to an 8 hourglass, where the hips widen immediately below the waist). So curvy fit clothes curve higher up & won’t fit you right. I have a similar shape & look for straight cuts; sometimes I have to take in the waist on jeans.
Perdita
If straight cut clothing fits you better, why would you buy curvy cut? Your measurements seem pretty in line with the average size chart measurements, with maybe a smaller waist – which would be an hourglass. I tend to think “curvy” cuts means that you usually have a big gap in the waistband of your pants. If you don’t have that issue, I don’t know that curvy cuts would do anything for you.
Anonymous
I have the same shape and the same measurements and the same problems with “curvy” pants. The only pants that fit me great are the Banana Republic pants I have found at resale shops with dates from 2008-10ish. Sometimes WHBM works really well. Otherwise, I just try to buy pants that need as little tailoring as possible.
Trader Joe's
I am near a TJ’s for the week and would like to try to bring back some fun foods (I am from Canada). What would be good snacks or foods I can bring back on a suitcase? I am checking a bag.
Anon
Cookie butter! Chocolate covered anything (they have all kinds of awesome chocolate covered things)! Yummy trail mixes! Most of my favorite things from TJs are perishables, so I’m not sure what to recommend that doesn’t contain chocolate…
Trader Joe's
I remembered everyone raving about the cookie butter and I am scared to buy it because then I will be hooked! ;)
LostInTranslation
+1 to their chocolate stuff, esp. the dark chocolate bar w hazelnuts. I also get mostly fresh/frozen from TJ’s. but I LOVE their mushroom risotto. Not sure if that’s fun, but I actually get a little sad imagining life without it.
And if you happen to have a cat, he/she will love you for TJ’s tuna w vitamins for cats. Even my picky eater loves it.
Pam
Listeria
Anonymous
Their spiced mango slices are amazing. Get two packages because you’ll likely inhale the first one. You can find them in the dried fruit aisle.
Anonymous
I just started a new job and I received flowers “from the office.” I should send a thank you email to the entire office, right? It’s not weird to do that? I’m probably overthinking this.
anonymous
Yeah, send it to the entire office. I think it’s the receiving flowers from your office that’s weird. But nice weird!
Anonymous
I received flowers just before I started on one of my jobs, many years ago. It was so nice!
They were potted and I had the arrangement for a long, long time. I still remember that company with fondness.