Tuesday’s TPS Report: Penn Plaid Dress

189 Comments

1. Both are lovely! I feel like plaid is a no go in Scotland though, unless I’d like a crowd of tourists following me around town and asking me questions about historical sites.

   1. haha that is awesome.

      1. LOVE. IT.

   2. I love the blue plaid dress! I could go to Bloomie’s to try it on, but I will NEED to stay away from the Carpet Departement b/c they know me now. FOOEY!

      Sam sent over a big box of cookie’s from CRUMBS! Yay! (but my dad would be furius if he found out b/c he wants me to make my tuchus shrink, not grow). So in the spirit of shareing, I put the box out on Lynn’s desk and everyone is grazing on the assortement of cookie that Sam sent. He onley said one thing. “I don’t like to see starveing lawyer’s!” He must think I am very svelte and want’s to turn me into his Thanks giving turkey? He did see my tuchus on the beach and he must have liked what he saw I guess. I won’t tell dad about the CRUMB’s cookie’s b/c dad is not happy that my FITBIT useage has gone down. That is b/c I have been VERY busy with my case work and have NOT been abel to walk to work in the morning.

      I have a depo at 11:00, but have to go to the courthouse do it b/c the plaintiff will NOT come to our office. His counsel, a lawyer named JAY, say’s he does NOT want him here, and he does NOT even have an office of his own. FOOEY!

      1. You never know Ellen. Some men like big tuchus. I know my husband is one!

   3. That is hilarious.

   4. Hah. Or you could embrace it and be like the random guy in Scotland who came up to me as a friend was explaining the history behind some building in Edinburgh and says (in a delightful scottish accent) “Actually, that’s not the true story. The true story is this. (long spiel). Welcome to Scotland!” I still don’t know which story is accurate.

   5. You have a point. My husband didn’t own a stitch of tartan when I met him in Scotland, but since his immigration to the States, he feels fine wearing some plaid pieces.

2. Gah! These dresses remind me of the plaid flannel baby-doll dresses that I wore in 1994. No thanks!

   1. Yes – or Cher Horowitz’s iconic yellow plaid jacket.

   2. Just seeing them cues the Singles soundtrack to start playing in my head.

   3. If only I saved my Doc Martens and my Baby Doll dresses I would have saved a ton on back to school clothes for my DD.

3. Any other r*ttes into fantasy football? I’m playing for the first time this year with some of my friends and I’m pretty excited about it. After several practice drafts and advice from my brother (multi-year fantasy champ), I can’t wait for the draft!

   1. My nephews and I play Pick’em on the NFL site. We decided we couldn’t be bothered with all of the stats, etc. that you have to be into for fantasy.

   2. I am! I play fantasy football and fantasy NASCAR (and my bf is in a fantasy horse racing league). I played in two leagues last year, but am only in one this year. Our draft is on Thursday and I am not preparing as much as I did last year, since it didn’t do me any good!! Good luck!

      NOLA – you don’t have to be that much into stats to do well honestly. My girlfriend ended up second in our league last year and didn’t do any homework and autodrafted. She enjoyed $hit-talking the most I think!

      1. I think honestly it’s the fact that we are such homers that we couldn’t bear to have to root for players not on our home teams. Both my 17 yo nephew and I feel that way. It kills us to pick against the Saints and the Steelers!

         1. That’s fair! (Even if you are a Steelers fan ;) )

   3. I am!! This is my second year, and I absolutely love it. I don’t have a preferred NFL team– fantasy football actually gives me a reason to watch NFL football and root for someone :)

      1. Um, Lone Star, you should root for the TEXANS! JJ Watt is reason enough.

      2. I don’t have an NFL team either (but don’t get me started on college football, Go Blue!), so I’m looking forward to really getting into the games. Of course, the trash talking has already started!

         1. Go BUCKS

   4. This is my fourth year playing and I can’t believe how much I like it. My biggest shock was that you really don’t have to know very much to be able to talk sports with the dudes. I’ve actually found it very helpful for disarming middle aged men (clients, deposition witnesses, etc). It also makes Sunday much more tolerable.

   5. Tried to get a group of lady lawyers but only found 3 willing participants. Maybe next year.

   6. I heard that there are fantasy leagues for reality shows on a website called Grantland. Now that’s something I could get into.

      1. For those with an interest in legal matters, there’s always the intensely geeky Supreme Court fantasy league http://www.fantasyscotus.net/

4. Pretty!

   I think this is the year of “why were all my aunts and cousins so vertically challenged that I can’t raid the piles upon piles of vintage clothing at my gran’s house gorram”

5. Plaid on the bias, nice touch. None matching plaid near the neckline – no go for me. The non match up was fine with the shirring/ruffle near the hip, but if you can’t match it wear both fabric is flat, it feels lazy.

   1. I agree — it looks like a non-winning Project Runway creation.

      1. “non-winning Project Runway creation” = ahahahahahahaha

   2. Ooh, yes, that does feel sloppy. I didn’t see that till I zoomed in.

      Also noticed that the details on the dress say,”Please note that this dress will be delivered with a black b-tag attached, with instructions for removal included. If the b-tag is removed, the dress cannot be returned.” Someone else mentioned seeing this on another Nordstrom item. My guess is that generous return policy is being tightened.

   3. That is an excellent point. Dress would look much sharper if the plaid lined up.

   4. If it were stripes, I wouldn’t be as picky. But if you are going to use plaids, do it right.

   5. I didn’t notice this until you mentioned it, either. Thanks for helping me not want to spend $200 on a dress… :) Even if it is (gasp!) a dress with actual *sleeves* and a somewhat reasonable hemline.

6. Embarassing TJ – I have aggressive n*pples that assert themselves in all sorts of situations. I started to take a small group exercise class (first time I’ve ever really worked out in proximity to a mirror, usually I run outside) and man are they VERY present in my exercise duds. Any advice on how to combat this? My 50 year old male instructor frequently touches people to correct form and I don’t want this to be totally weird.

   I see those sort of padded cup sports bras in store but I am a huge sweater so I feel like it would just be like strapping a sponge to my chest. Also because of the sweat issue I think bandaids would just fall off. Do I just need to be zen about this?

   1. I wear loud shirts over my sports bra — patterns, colors that fool the eye and disguise things. A light solid color = only for outside in the heat of summer.

      1. +1

   2. I have a top from Lucy that has a built in bra (that I also wear a sports bra with) that has a slight padding / thickness to it, but it doesn’t have a sponge effect.

      My advice would be to be zen. When you are working out, all sorts of gross things are happening. My nose run constantly within two minutes of my starting running. I sweat a ton, I get dried salt on my face, my hair gets frizzy and soaked with sweat. You are working hard and I would just go with it.

      1. Agreed – it’s something you can’t really control. I have that problem in the gym and have just given up caring about it (although I used to have more padded sports bras and they do eliminate that issue – and I didn’t particularly find that they soaked up sweat).

   3. Bra Discs concealers are awesome. You can get them on amazon and they don’t show under any of my bras. Once they warm up to your skin, they stay in place just fine without adhesive. I am too busty to go without a bra so I can’t speak to their ability to stay put solo. I have some padded sports bras but the coverage can vary with those.

   4. I’m the same way – I seriously almost always have THO – ha! I wear padded bras but during gym workouts I just go with it. I don’t want to deal with padded sports bras. Just let those babies free!! It’s the gym – people are used to seeing people in skimpy clothes. Don’t worry about it! :)

   5. I have no helpful suggestions other than a super padded bra you’ll have to rinse every time you wear, but your description of aggressive n*pples that assert themselves made me imagine n*pples demanding a raise and yelling at other n*pples in traffic and it made me smile. It’s been a rough morning, and I definitely appreciated the chance to chuckle, even if you didn’t mean it that way.

      1. Hilarious. Y’all are making my day.

      2. LOL and thanks. I spent a good chunk of this day tearing around and _wanting_ to yell at the traffic.

   6. I say let them free! I completely understand the desire to keep them quiet, but I think your instructor will be fine with the existence of your n*ps. Exercising is when you are allowed to be sweatier, stinkier, messier, and I believe n*pplier than other areas of your life.

      I may try what mascot suggested for other situations though!

      1. Agreed. It’s an exercise class. Anyone paying that much attention to what you look like, should be paying more attention to what they’re doing themselves; and I’m sure your instructor has seen a n*pple through a shirt before, in his 50 years upon this earth.

   7. The liners that come in lululemon tops/bras work pretty well to combat this issue and don’t sponge up sweat.

   8. Look for accessories sold in the bra department. Breast petals, or something similar, work well.

   9. Wear a bra that comes with removable cups/padding. I don’t think they make you sweatier than normal.

   10. I like Moving Comfort sports bras with molded cups. The molded cups provide a more substantial layer of coverage than regular sports bras, but there’s no overwhelming padding. Plus they’re made with mesh, which helps with the overheating/sweating problem. They’re pricey, but worth it for the coverage and they last. I’ve had mine for a year with weekly washing in the machine in a lingerie bag and they’re holding up pretty well.

   11. Thanks all! I think I am just going to go with zen.

   12. Same problem here. I’ve stopped caring about it though. Just how I try not to look at other people in class and focus on me (can’t touch my toes and she is in a headstand? Awe man…). Padded sports bras and busy tops sound like good solutions though.

7. Looking for student restaurant recommendations in NYC . . .

   I’m looking for a restaurant for a birthday lunch for 10 – 15 people anywhere between Washington Square Park and Madison Square Park, or anywhere in Greenwich Village. The catch is that it shouldn’t be more than $10-$15 per person. Any type of cuisine is fine.

   Thanks!

   1. Mamoun’s.

      1. Mamoun’s could definitely work. Also Dojo?

   2. Dhaba (a little north of Madison Square at 27th/Lex) but has a $10.99 lunch buffet on weekdays.

   3. Recommend Cafetasia – it’s cheap, and the candles would make for a nice birthday atmosphere.

   4. Il Corallo is a couple of blocks away from Washington Square Park. It’s Italian and a cheap, sit-down place.

   5. Really cute place called Live Bait across from Madison Sq. Park with very reasonable prices in your range.

   6. Galanga on West 4th and 6th Ave. (between MacDougal?). It’s tiny, but they’ll accommodate your group. Great Thai. I love the duck spring rolls. And super cheap.

8. Job search question – If I apply to a lateral attorney job on a firm website, that I really do think I’m qualified for, and I don’t hear anything in a week, should I follow up with an email to the firm recruiter? Or do I just assume that my resume hit the circular file? And what is the proper follow-up?

   1. Firm recruiters are VERY busy. I would say give it another week and then follow-up with an email. I had very well-qualified candidates who got hung up for months because the firm recruiters couldn’t get partners to look at resumes due to being busy. You want to be careful about contacting them too much as they will get annoyed and then your resume will get dumped. At least that has been my personal experience. Good luck!

   2. Honestly, I would follow Ask A Manager’s advice and forgot about the job. You applied, done. If they want to call you, they will. There’s nothing you can do, follow up or else-wise, to make the process move faster.

   3. Yes, by all means follow up in about a week if you can locate the recruiting manager’s or coordinator’s email addresses (a lot of firms are burying this info in favor of a blind inbox which I hate). At this time of year, many of us are swamped with on-campus interviews and laterals tend to slip to the back burner. Partners are often out during August (particularly in East Coast offices) so that could also affect the rate at which resumes are reviewed. I personally would not be annoyed by a follow up email but agree with CountC’s advice not to pester.

9. I love that purple dress so much. Really want to buy it but $200 is actually a little more than what I spend on work dresses (I buy most work clothes at Nordstrom Rack). I love it though!

10. Hi Hive. I’ve been off the blog for several days due to emotional and physical recovery – my pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and D&C last week.

    The emotional side of this is so much harder than I ever thought it could be. Can anyone suggest anything, a book or another resource, that they found helpful? I’m posting early but will check in later today; I’m not baby-angry (and still so pleased for you other ladies who are posting about baby and maternity issues [that means you, TBK]) but I need to give myself a little space. Thanks for any advice or support.

    1. I’m so, so sorry. I have no real advice but just wanted to say that.

       I know this has come up here a few times before and one suggestion that I really liked was having some kind of ceremony to mark the occasion and to give yourself a bit of closure. Maybe that’s something that will help you find that little space that you need. Meanwhile sending hugs your way.

       1. So sorry for you. How about a donation to a tree planting place in your city? Many places do this and you can watch it grow. As everyone says, hugs, and give yourself, your body and your spirits time.

    2. no advice, but I’m so sorry for your loss. I am sending lots of Internet Hugs.

    3. I am so, so sorry. I’ve been there, and the thing that helped me most, honestly, was turning to my religion and my dh.

       It also helped talking to other women who had been through similar experiences. There must be online message boards for pregnancy loss (mine happened before internet was big). It helped me feel less alone.

       ((HUGS)) take care of yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. I remember being devastated, but now, 16 years after my first loss, even though I still feel a little sad, it’s not anything like what I felt at first.

    4. I am so sorry to hear that. I have no resources or anything useful to suggest but just wanted to comment to give you a giant hug. I hope your husband, family, friends, whoever you need to reach out to are being supportive.

    5. Oh, I’m so sorry. The thing to remember is that this is really common. More women than you know have been through it. The worst is when it takes a long time for the hormone levels to drop to 0. It feels like piling on. My colleague had miscarriages (one an ectopic pregnancy) before each of her healthy pregnancies.

       Anyway, give yourself time to grieve and cry. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be pregnant but when it happened, it felt so devastating.

    6. So sorry.

    7. I’m so sorry. I have no advice, but you have my sincerest sympathies. AIMS’s suggestion that you mark the event somehow seems like a good one, if you think it might help.

    8. I have no advice, but just wanted to send my deepest condolences. Don’t be afraid to reach out to others for support as needed, as it often seems like women suffer through miscarriages alone. **Hugs**

    9. Famouscait, I’m so sorry to hear this news. Thinking of you.

    10. I’m so sorry for your loss. I really encourage you to seek help through a therapist, Church, or whoever you can turn to.

    11. Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing last November. It’s especially difficult when the hormone levels are changing afterwards. I think one of the best things you can do is to talk to close family and friends that can lend support through this time. It will get better as time heals. Take care of yourself, try and do some things you love and can help you relax. It is an extremely confusing and difficult mix of emotions, but it will feel better one day.

    12. altdotlife has a message board with a lot of women who have been in your shoes and who will be in your shoes.

        i am so sorry for your loss, i hope that you find the space and time to heal that you need.

    13. I’m so terribly sorry.

        I found Empty Cradle, Broken Heart by Deborah Davis to be a very helpful book. I found that I could not speak about it, at all, without my face crumpling up and having to cry. I stopped trying — I found that I could read about it and write about it. A lot of days, I just shut the door to my office and cried.

    14. Oh no, I’m so sorry! No suggestions, but I’ll be thinking of you.

    15. I’m so sorry! Big internet hugs to you!

    16. I’m so sorry. I had a miscarriage earlier this year, and it was devastating. The only things that helped me were (1) allowing myself to grieve, because no matter how early on it happens, loss is loss, and (2) trying to remind myself that it would hurt less as a week, a month, a year went by.

    17. This must be very hard. I am very sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and good vibes

    18. I’m so sorry for your loss. I have no useful advice since I’m still struggling with the emotional effects of my miscarriage last month, but I wanted to say you are not alone in thinking that the emotional side of things is unexpectedly tough. I did not expect to be so affected by it. Everyone has told me it gets better with time though. Hugs.

    19. So very sorry! This is terribly common, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

        I don’t know if it helps to read about others’ experiences. If so, the author of the Feeding the Soil blog wrote movingly about a miscarriage she had last year. Now she has recently had a new baby.

    20. I’m sorry you’re having this experience. Second all the other suggestions to give yourself and your nearest and dearest (dh/so/partner?) time and space to grieve and heal. (No offense meant by being vague re your personal life–I just don’t know or can’t recall your specific details. Double hugs if your journey to motherhood is a solo trip.

    21. Thank you so very much to everyone who took the time to respond. I appreciate all the hugs and good vibes. I’m bookmarking this page to return to on hard days.

        I might look into the suggestion about the tree and the book – two things I love in my normal, not-so-sad life.

        Again, deepest thanks. This community is a really wonderful place.

    22. Late to this thread, but you have my heartfelt sympathy and admiration. (You have a big heart and it’s lovely that you are still so supportive of others.)

    23. I’m so sorry for your physical and emotional pain, as well as for your loss. I hope each day gets better for you.

11. So the college kids are back in town and all eager and back-to-school-y. Adorable. Except the women mostly all seem to be wearing literally and actually outfits from the 90s. This isn’t a nod, this isn’t taking one things – flouncy skirts – and modernizing it. This full on complete 90s outfits. I can’t even.

    1. Are you in Boston? I ask because I saw hordes of new students doing orientation activities on the Greenway this weekend – including one woman who apparently found my cut-off jean shorts from 1994 in a thrift shop somewhere. Light blue wash, high-ish rise, thick/non-stretch cotton Levi’s with huge butt pockets and rolled cuffs. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.

       1. I work for a university in the Boston area. New students arrive tomorrow, but some kids are already here. I haven’t noticed the clothes yet, but I did witness one kid trying to get a permit to move a piano.

       2. NYC. But I’ve been in the Village a bunch this week. I saw the same shorts! Except these were cut offs unrolled. And they were paired with a floral tanks top that I could have sworn was in Sassy Mag in 1993.

          1. Hey you saw my fellow NYU classmates!

12. Today is one of those days where I just want to switch places with my pet. Just sit around at home all day, eat, sleep and space out. / End rant.

13. Has anyone gone into business with their significant other’s family that would care to share some anectdata?

    My husband’s father has a very successful small firm (about 8 attorneys) where my husband now works. They work wonderfully together and continue to grow. I’m doing well at my current firm, but don’t want to stay here permanently. FIL really likes my work/marketing abilities and wants me to join their firm. The only thing holding me back from joining is abstract concerns about working with my husband and having all our eggs in one basket. I see a lot of benefits though. Thoughts?

    1. At a successful law firm like your FIL’s, I wouldn’t worry about “eggs in one basket” so much, but working with your husband may be difficult.I work at the same company as my SO, and sometimes I feel like we need way more boundaries between our home and work lives.

       1. +1

          To the extent the firm has a diverse client base, and especially to the extent you have your own clients, you won’t have your eggs in one basket as much as, say, you worked for the same corporate employer. But there will be other challenges involved in working in a family business.

    2. Are you and your husband thinking about kids? If so, it adds a wrinkle to working together with your FIL. On the one hand, if you want to cut back your hours, it seems like you’d be in a perfect position. On the other, if you want your husband to be an equal parent and to continue to be treated equally in the workplace, you could face a challenge. It’s hard enough for me to put up with my MIL not understanding that I’m not responsible for all-things-kids when we visit them, I’d go nuts if I had to deal with grandparental bias at work too.

    3. Do you like your FIL and MIL?

       Are they content to let you and DH plan your lives as you see fit or are they pushy, demanding grandchilder, that you move to a closer town, etc?

       If they’re cool, then it may be alright. If they are interfering, you’ll have given them even more power over you.

14. Anyone have experience with the J Crew “Emmaleigh dress in Super 120s”? I need some very basic work dresses and it looks perfect, but I’m wondering how it fits and how the fabric is.

    1. I have it and like it. The fabric is a little thinner than I’d like (not terribly thin, but I’d call it tropical weight wool). Also, I’m small-ish up top (34B) and had to have it seriously taken in. But the line is nice and the set in waistband gives it a nice shape.

    2. I really like it and am currently stalking the green color they have right now and hoping it goes on sale. I’m pear shaped and find it works well with my hips/thighs without being too big up top. I’m usually a 0/2 on top and 4/6 on the bottom and the 4 in the emmaleigh works perfectly (unlike TBK, I actually didn’t have to have mine taken in in the top. Who knows.). It has pockets, but I left them sewed shut. I notice the website is saying it’s online only, but I definitely tried mine on in a store before I bought it, so if you have a store nearby, I’d swing by and see if they happen to have one you could try on.

    3. I love it. I have it in two colors. Go with your bigger size. Its the one item at J. Crew that seems to run a little small. I also left the pockets sewn shut. I wear it over silk blouses and under matching jackets. It looks great either way.

       1. Agreed. I’m in between two sizes, so I ordered one size down after really liking my first one I purchased in the size up that was a little too big. The smaller one fit, but it promptly split down the rear when I squatted down to pick up my dog. So either size down or avoid heavy lifting when wearing.

    4. I have two (navy and lagoon blue) and I’m considering getting a third (grey or the beautiful green color they have now). I wear at least one a week. Fits great, the petite sizing is perfect length on me (I’m 5’1, size petite 2), and it isn’t too tight up top (this is often a problem for me as I’m 32DD). If you’re between two sizes, pick the larger one, I’m sometimes a P0 and the P2 fits fine. I agree with above poster that the material is a lightweight wool, but I like that because I can wear it all seasons (in the winter I wear it with a heavier cardigan or jacket and tights).

    5. I have this dress in the cobalt blue color and. love. it. I have a hard time finding dresses that fit off the rack and this is the first dress I have found that I haven’t had to have altered. I am a fairly symmetrical hourglass, and am large of chest and rear. I have this in my regular jcrew size. I want this dress in ALL the colors!

    6. Thanks for the responses! Sounds like this one is a winner.

    7. One more thumbs up. I am forever on the hunt for sheath dresses in 40 ” lengths and their talls fit the bill. I did have to have the top taken in to fit my 34A self. Also, I got the great blue color on eBay for half the retail price and found there is a pretty good selection there if you stalk a bit for your size.

    8. I have it in purple and it’s very nice and flattering – unfortunately it seems like at least half of the women I work with wear it on a regular basis so (not logically I know) I tend to wear it less often.

       One word of caution I found it a bit fragile – one of the back vents ripped from nothing more than moving my legs a bit too far apart trying to scoot across the back of a cab and I had to go through a whole recruiting event (on the employer side and a sit down dinner thank goodness) with a much longer slit than intended!

15. How do you motivate yourself at work when the people you work with don’t really seem to care about anything but going through the motions? I really like my job and I really like the people I work with, but they definitely treat the position as just a 9 to 5 and “none of it really matters anyway” kind of thing. It’s starting rub off on me and I don’t like it. I’ve basically gotten almost nothing accomplished that I wanted to do in the last month and I feel like it’s partly because of the low energy all around me, even though I know I need to just learn to motivate myself. My boss doesn’t really help although he is great in many other ways – I think he sets the tone and the other people I work with range from slightly disillusioned and bitter to smart but lazy. They’re all really nice and capable and I am not trying to disparage them, but the lack of motivation on their part is starting to affect me too much. I’ve been with this group for a few years now and it’s been happening more and more. The funny thing is I took this job because I think it’s actually really important and, contrary to my colleagues, I do think that what we do matters and is in fact very essential. I know switch positions/groups may be one solution and I am not taking it off the table, but my options are also somewhat limited at the moment and there’s no guaranty I won’t end up in a worse position if I were to switch — at least now, I have a good work environment, work I do like and people I do like to work with, even all this aside. So any tips for keeping myself interested and motivated when everyone around me is just content to coast?

    1. I sympathize with your lack of motivation; I’ve struggled with it at times, too. However, you are the one responsible for your own attitude and productivity. I understand the frustration you feel with your colleagues, but there is nothing they’re doing to actually impede your success (as far as you’ve said). So it sounds like you need to focus on yourself and improving your own attitude or energy for the job. Try to solve the problem you have—your motivation—because you have no power to adjust your colleagues’ behavior and dwelling on it is only likely to frustrate you.

    2. Once you get through the day to day around there, what about doing something like writing an article for a local publication on what you do or what’s in the news or something to show motivation to non-workplace people? Maybe you will get some feedback or something that will give you more motivation?

    3. I’m having a similar problem here at work – our 2nd boss in 2 years is leaving at the end of Sept, and we “aren’t supposed to know about it,” but it is seriously sapping all of our motivation and energy. I love my coworkers and I really enjoy the work, but it’s so hard to stay engaged when your boss is checked out. I’m trying to maintain my momentum, but it’s so seriously tempting to stop caring… so I’m trying to stay really busy with the work and focus on the positive aspects. I’ll be interested to see what others have to say as well!

    4. Could it be that they care, also, but they don’t want to get burnt out? There are a lot of jobs that you could do 9-5 if you want, or if you care deeply about the work, you could let the work consume the rest of your life. Burn out is a serious possibility. You are no good to your workplace/clients/constituents if you can’t take care of yourself, too.

       Actually, thinking about it, I’m not sure if this advice is actually relevant to you or not. I could be projecting from a previous job I had.

       In any case, I’m not sure why your colleagues’ lack of motivation is affecting your productivity that much. It sounds like they are all getting their work done. They just have lives outside of work.

       I’d advise reading Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office, or again if you have already. Recognizing work for what it is, i.e., not your entire life, is really important.

       1. I agree that this is a me problem and not a them problem. What they do or don’t doesn’t really impact me too much right now though long-term, career wise, I’d like to do something more than coast through until retirement. I guess my problem is that something will come up, I’ll want to deal with it, and no one else wants to do anything until 5 days go by and so everything just drags on. I’m trying to keep details to a minimum just in case, but basically it’s the “we’ll get to it when we get to it” attitute which I feel has become contageous and now I’m infected and trying to figure out a way out.

          I don’t think burning out is so much a part of it and I don’t mind that most people leave at 4:55 every day, I just feel like my colleagues’ treatment of the work we have as not that important makes me feel less motivated to do it. I start to think, why should I rush to resolve this problem when no one else is doing that and it makes me become unproductive. I guess I am just looking for motivational strategies to keep myself going when no one else seems to care. I think finding outside outlets like an article to write is a great idea. It’s just hard to do more than the bare minimum when no one expects it of you or seems to care.

    5. I’d agree that you might want to relook at your personal motivations for pushing hard – are you taking on too much, are you compensating for not balancing other aspects of your life as well as you should, are you at risk of burnout in the next year, etc?

       If you look at all of those and still determine this is a problem, then perhaps look for a change of scenery. Can you work from another location, even in the same building (closer to your business partners)? Can you arrange a telecommute/work-from-home day once a week? Can you start or end your days with a working meeting at Starbucks?

16. I’m looking for thoughts on how to reply (or not) to a “let’s get happy hour” e-mail from a woman I really don’t want to see. We were (not very close) friends in graduate school, and the last time I saw her (several months ago) she acted like a complete child (long story, but think (sober) temper tantrum). I have no interest in seeing her. Do I ignore the e-mail? Respond with a transparent “I’m really busy right now”? Tell the (gasp) truth? FWIW, we don’t have many mutual friends and probably won’t cross paths professionally, but we’ll probably run into each other a couple times a year for the foreseeable future.

    1. In this situation, I would say something vague about how you’re busy for the next few weeks or so with other commitments, but maybe you guys can try for next month. Then don’t follow up. If she follows up, say the same thing and repeat as necessary. Eventually, she’ll get the message. I usually believe in being honest, but in situations like this, I don’t think it would be helpful.

    2. I’d probably just brush her off with “I’m really busy,” since you don’t see her that often. It’s completely normal for people who weren’t close to drift apart after school and I think that the “fade to black” is perfectly acceptable in those circumstances. I would only address it directly if she becomes more persistent.

    3. I’d go with the “I’m busy now” approach and end the message without a possibility of connecting in the future. Something like “Good to hear from you. Unfortunately, I’m really busy these days and can’t meet up right now. Hope all is well.” If she’s at all perceptive, she’ll know this is a polite brush off.

       1. Doesn’t using “right now” still suggest you’re up for getting together later, though? I say if you write back at all, be real. Perhaps “I’m very busy but I hope you are well, and am sure we’ll see each other at (events OP mentioned a few times per year).” This is also how I’d handle the email if it was asking for a date and I wasn’t interested.

          1. Good point. Your message is better!

17. CEO of my Fortune 50 company coming to our very small (<10 people) office today for an extended visit. I am rocking the conservative suit but with some fun touches here and there. I am sure he will so impressed I'll be promoted on the spot.

    Ok, maybe not on the spot but it is an exciting day!

18. Hi Hive. I’ve been off the blog for several days due to emotional and physical recovery – my pregnancy ended in a miscarriage and D&C last week.

    The emotional side of this is so much harder than I ever thought it could be. Can anyone suggest anything, a book or another resource, that they found helpful? I’m posting early but will check in later today; I’m not baby-angry (and still so pleased for you other ladies who are posting about baby and maternity issues [that means you, TBK]) but I need to give myself a little space. Thanks for any advice or support.

    1. Hugs, big hugs, and then some more. I’m so sorry.

19. Okay, I’m starting to seriously feel like Ellen right now. All of my comments are ending up in moderation. I am not posting about c*cktail dresses or anything else controversial. Anyone else experiencing something similar?

    1. YES. Or they show up and then are gone next time.

    2. Yup. Stuck in moderation today.

    3. Yes, my comments are stuck in moderation. (This one probably will too.)

    4. Yes. I’m using Chrome if the tech people need to know that.

20. Does anyone else get Zulilly emails? What is up with the coverphoto of HOTmilk? I know, I’ll wear lingere with super-styled hair and big dangly earrings to the grocery store with my infant! Then, I will sit ON the dairy aisle, nurse my baby while looking super pissed?

    1. Hahaha! I dug into my ad folder for it, and it was worth it.

21. Does anyone else feel like they do not fit in anywhere when it comes to family gatherings? I am an attorney, and most of the women in my family are educators. Not to be dismissive of what they do, because it is a stressful and demanding job, but I find it hard to relate to them on a professional level. When we talk about work, I don’t have much to contribute to the conversation, which centers around school-related topics. They don’t seem to understand what it is exactly that I do, so aside from “how’s work?” “good” or “busy,” there is not much to discuss on my end. Plus there is that fun part when we talk about how much I pay my nanny, and they freak out since they pay their sitters about half of what I pay, which is really because they work a lot less hours a week so they employ their sitters for less hours… Which leads to the fun conversation about the hours I work, and I get to see the shock/pity in their eyes when they realize that there are many nights during the week when I get home after my baby has already gone to bed for the night… On the flip side, while I can relate much better to the guys in my family on a professional level, in that we are all in the same industry, some on the law side, some on the business side, I get the sense that they don’t want a woman hanging around with them while they talk shop. So I am in this no-man’s land, so to speak.

    Not sure what the point of this post was, perhaps I am just venting, maybe looking for some reassurances that I am not the only one in this situation (as I am gearing up to see family over this long holiday weekend).

    1. Can you figure out other things to talk about besides work and family? Cooking, fashion, tv shows, sports? Anything at all?

    2. You are not the only one in this situation. I get that reaction, mostly from the older women in my family. My favorite recently was when we had family over for the 4th, my toddler son was running around like a banshee (having just been given marshmallows by my mom) and my Aunt turned to me and asked, “So, how much time does he spend in daycare/outside of the home.” And then, “Wow, you don’t get a lot of time with him, do you? You must like your job.” Grr. Yes, I like my job and my son loves his daycare, his health insurance and the roof over his head.

       I have mostly made peace with the fact that I don’t talk about my job much (beyond emphasizing that I love it when someone makes a snide comment about my son in daycare/with a nanny). I am also married to an educator and have several in the family. One thing I have learned is that those in education frequently have great stories. And the easiest way to make conversation is to ask people about their lives. So when we are around other educators, I try and ask about their class this year, the kids, and any great stories? I guess it just comes down to that I try and relate to them when I can, and if that means talking about them and not my job, I’m ok with that.

    3. Can you just try to steer the convo away from work? I know that sounds overly simple but I know I find myself talking way too much about work instead of other things I’m more likely to have in common with family and other people from my hometown or even college. DC residents are notorious for not being able to talk about things other than work so I’ve been trying to keep that in mind when meeting people outside of the city. It is hard though, because it is where I spend the majority of my waking hours– and sounds like that’s the case for you too. But kids, hobbies, hometown news, current events and entertainment (new movies, books) are always good topics too!

    4. At least you have the men to talk to! Maybe they don’t get that you are one of them? Have you tried dropping some f-bombs or sharing some sophisticated analysis or professional vent?

       I relate to no_one in my family. They are good people but just on a completely different life-path. So I tell them nothing about my life. It would just open a can of worms (e.g., questions about paying the nanny and hours worked) that I don’t care to get into. I don’t see them much so when I do, I use the time to practice my networking skills.

       1. I have the same problem. No one in my family, or my husband’s family, have the faintest idea how much me make or what we do. I already get enough of a hard time over having a horse – things like “well what do you need a horse for?” and “wow, isn’t that really expensive?” (My answer for the point blank “how much does it cost to keep your horse” is “oh, about the same as keeping a kid in daycare.” I let them use their imagination.)

          I get good eye rolls at how much I work, too – and they say things like “you shouldn’t let them make you do that” and “shouldn’t you get overtime then?” I’m already getting “well you’ll have to quit your job when you have kids, right?” It’s super fun.

    5. I also don’t fit into my family at all. They’re great, kind, genuine people, but I honestly feel like an alien every time I set foot in a family gathering: we have different educational backgrounds, different life experiences, different types of jobs, some different values, an urban vs. rural divide, I could go on. So I do a lot of smiling and nodding, and accepting that I just don’t have a lot to contribute to certain (most?) conversations. I haven’t found anything approaching a solution yet, so no real suggestions, unfortunately, other than to try to find commonalities–if you all have kids, can you steer conversation towards what the kids are up to? Not in a nanny vs. sitter sense, but maybe a “Tell me about how Timmy’s baseball team is doing.” Or you could try to engage their educator side–“X happened to Sarah at school the other week! As a teacher, what do you think about this?” or “I’m not sure about Y that Jason’s teacher did, any thoughts?”

       1. Yes – family gossip bridges all the generations and occupations. :)

          It also helps to do something with them, like cooking or cleaning up after a meal.

    6. I am also the only woman attorney in a family of educators. (I have a couple of uncles who are attorneys and do enjoy talking shop with them.) I generally just listen to what the women have to say and if there is something relatable I comment on that (usually work-place drama type stuff…) I have the fun twist also where I practice criminal defense and most of the non-attorneys in my family are horrified that I could “defend those people.” So I really limit what I share about my work with them. Our conversations are typically quite superficial, including with my own mother. It is kind of sad, but it is what it is I guess.

    7. I commiserate about being the only professional woman in my family with all teachers/homemakers. I do not have kids but I do have a dog walker, a massage therapist, a personal trainer, a usual manicure lady, a fancy hairdresser (at a salon not like a friend who does hair), etc. I avoid those topics and am ready to change the subject. I know it’s family but, I sit and listen to the topics I cannot join and chime in when I can participate. I tend to move around a lot too at family functions by eating from small plates and small cups so I need to fill/refill etc. I always try to think of one story the ladies can relate to in case they ask (my client’s pants fell down in a deposition which did happen, in a law library) or something to make it not so serious.

       1. Word to the wise: Don’t say you’re the “only professional woman in the family” when the teachers are in the room. ;)

          1. +1 I think I spotted your problem

          2. Whooooops. Not my intent. Don’t tell my mom…

          3. lol! I just spit out my coffee!

    8. I am also in a similar situation, to a great extent… both with my immediate family and inlaws. Extended family members approach life very differently, and none of them are in the corporate/industry “world” that my scientist fiance and I inhabit. (One in-law is a computer programmer, but has a very asocial/anti-political approach to his career). In our case, we deal with a lot of dismissive or outright mocking responses to our goals, career choices, and values… particularly because we do not have children. Most of the non-family-members that our relatives invite to family events are stay-at-home mothers, and they seem to lose interest in us the moment they realize we are childless. I consider myself fairly practiced at small talk and socializing, but family events stretch my skills much more than anything I encounter at work.

       I usually find that the best I can do is encourage a conversational route where someone else is talking about themselves… at least that way, everyone else tends to be fairly satisfied. Occasionally, I’ll be able to bring up one of the things in my work that I’m passionate about. But honestly, I perceive that “If I can’t understand it, it must be easy/irrelevant” is such a pervasive attitude that I feel almost guilty trying to steer the conversation toward business or math. I hate to say it, but many people simply aren’t interested in those things. While I hope this isn’t your exact situation, the length of time it took me to recognize that lack of interest led to a lot of hurt feelings on my end. Now, my fiance and I tend to view family events as being for the rest of the family, not for us, and we’re able to be much more realistic about what it will cost us emotionally to be in that environment. Not a movie-style happy ending, perhaps, but it works better for us than desperately trying to present our lives in a way that everyone else can appreciate.

    9. YES. My FIL and one of my BILs are pastors, so conversations tend to revolve around Bible study, ladies’ aid, or church. My husband and I are both attorneys which some of his family does not view as a legitimate profession – their church is actually opposed to litigation and doesn’t really believe in filing lawsuits. We try hard to steer conversation to other things (local sports, the weather, our nephew) but don’t really fit in with their life.

22. What is happening to me?! All of the sudden I am dying to have a baby. DH and I married young for what is typical in our Northeast city and have been happily married for 2 years (I’m now 25- we had been dating since we were 17). We’ve been having a lot of fun enjoying our city and our friends (very few of whom are married or in serious long term relationships). Except in the past few months every time I see a baby I’m hit by a feeling that I WANT ONE. Recently, one of the few other girls in my extended group of friends who is married and around my age announced that she and her husband were having a baby and I was surprised by how envious I felt.

    I’m in business school and DH and I had always agreed that we wanted to wait until I was out of school and had had a few years to get established in a job before we had kids (and even then, it would still probably be earlier than what is typical in our city). I know that there are logically all these reasons that I have to wait. But a part of me doesn’t want to! Any advice on how to make the most of waiting these next few years?

    1. I wouldn’t completely rule out having a baby while you’re still in school. Are you in your first year or second? I’m just thinking if you’re in your first year and got pregnant now-ish, it might complicate internships next summer. If you’re in your second year, however, when do most jobs for b-school grads start? For law grads, they usually start the following fall, which would give you some time between graduation and starting work to have the baby. On the other hand, if you’re in your first year, would it be possible to take a semester off (next fall) and then use the summer of ’15 for an internship, and finish school in the fall of ’15? Not being an MBA, I’m not sure how viable any of that is. I just think that school often has a much more family-friendly schedule than entry-level high achiever jobs. Plus, where would you be in your career if you did wait to have kids? I feel like many fields have a real crunch time when people are around 28-35, when you’re expected to put in the hours to get that promotion that propels you into the more senior ranks (e.g., partnership, tenure, etc.). Is that the case in the field you want to pursue? If so, planning a baby during those years might not be the best option. Putting off a baby might still be what works best for you, but I’m not sure the “wait until after school” plan is the best for women (I think it comes from when it was men who were finishing grad school — yeah, if the guy’s biggest contribution to a kid is likely to be a paycheck, it makes sense to wait. But that doesn’t translate in the same way for women.)

       1. +1

          I had my son at the beginning of my second year of law school and it worked out fantastically well for me.

       2. +1 I’ve discussed on this site in the past how I am glad I had my children young (my 3rd was born 3 months after I turned 30). I’m SO glad I don’t have to deal with baby stuff at this point in my career. Seriously one of my best decisions. It was hard, and money was tight, but I don’t regret it at all.

    2. I totally had that happen to me my 2nd year in law school (about age 27). I’m convinced it’s completely biological – it was very different than just “wanting” something – more like craving it, like being hungry and seeing someone eating my favorite food. TBK definitely makes some good points, but, at the same time, I certainly can’t imagine having done that myself (and I didn’t know any females who had babies during law school, though I don’t know much about b-school.) But it’s worth at least thinking about.

       As for how to cope, I think the best thing you can do is just think about it long-term – ask yourself why are you waiting, what do you want to accomplish, how important are the things that would be thrown off track if you had one now, that sort of thing. Remind yourself that you are working towards goals that (I assume) would allow you to be the kind of parents that you and your husband want to be, and that that’s worth the wait. It will come soon enough! Good luck to you!

       1. We had a woman in my section who had a baby during law school, and I think it worked well for her. A good friend of mine had her first kid in med school, which was much easier than when she had her second during residency. In both cases, the women took a semester off from school, which might not be possible for everyone. But I’ve known a fair number of people who found having kids in grad school was the easier option. None were MBA students, though, so that might be different.

    3. This is totally and completely normal. Just wait until later in your 20s. Your body will be begging you for a baby. (In your late 20s, your um, intimacy drive, goes *through the roof*. Seriously. Like an 18 year old boy.)

       There are lots of articles online these days encouraging professional women to have children before they are out of grad/professional school. That might be something to consider with your husband.

    4. I don’t know anything about business school. But there were a few women in my year of law school who had babies, and it seemed to work out well. School was more flexible than work is, and they got through that exhausting newborn phase before starting work full-time.

    5. This is biological. Happens suddenly. One way to handle it is to distract yourself by getting a new “project” – which can be a new hobby or anything else you can throw yourself into. Have a baby if you both want and if you’re ready for it, of course – but not just because of your hormones yelling in your head.

23. Sigh http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2013/08/26/networking-dating/

    1. Ugh.

24. What are your thoughts on Botox? I’m just barely in my mid twenties and I have three distinct horizontal lines on my forehead. I know that they are only noticeable to me, but I don’t want them to get worse. I notice myself making facial expressions all the time that would make it worse (like when I’m reading something carefully I life my eyebrows up). I’ve definitely read that treating something like this early can be helpful by preventing the lines from getting deeper (ex: treat it with a tiny bit at 25 so they don’t get deeper, rather than trying to fix it at 35 when they are deeper and more noticeable). Any positive or negative thoughts or experiences? The only thing that’s holding me back is that I’m young- I don’t want to start with this “too” early, but I also don’t know what waiting til I’m 30 would do.

    1. I am 30 and I have been wanting botox since I started law school (I’m a mid level associate now). I might bite the bullet and get it for my 31st bday. My dermatologist performs cosmetic procedures at her office and I’ve spoken to her about botox before. All of the nurses at the office have it and I’m pretty sure my derm does too (although she never told me) and they look amazing. I would never think, oh wow they’ve definitely had botox. I don’t think there is anything wrong at all with wanting to get it – just do your research and talk to your derm about it. Personally I would feel more comfortable going to a dermatologist than a spa or some other non-doctor’s place.

       1. Oh yea- would definitely be going to a plastic surgeon for it. Same guy who does my mom/grandma and he’s very conservative with what he recommends and I trust his opinion. No crazy duck lips or perma-surprised expressions coming from his office. I just am stuck on the fact that I’m only 25!

          1. You should just go in and talk to him – 25 does seem young but if you have wrinkles and it bothers you then I say go for it. Of course this is coming from someone who got breast implants in my mid 20’s so I am definitely a proponent of bettering your physical appearance if you can and if it makes you feel better about yourself :) If you do go, please report back!

             1. A consultation is a good idea. Botox may not necessarily work in your case (I have heard from my dermo that in some cases, it can make things worse). There may also be other treatment options besides Botox. You never know.

    2. I started Botox when I was 26 because of the parallel lines in my forehead between my eyes. I’m now 33, and I go 3-4 times per year. One of the lines is still visible, although less visible than it was pre-botox, and the lines haven’t gotten any deeper. I’m a big fan if you can afford it and if the doc won’t make you look plastic.

    3. I started Botox right after my 28th birthday, but I would have no qualms about starting a couple years sooner. I go 2x a year for my two deep, horizontal forehead wrinkles and crows feet. (Actually, I’ve started doing Botox in my forehead and Dysport for my crows feet, which I think works the best.) I seriously love it. I go to an aesthetician instead of a plastic surgeon and pay significantly less, but a lot of people had recommended this aesthetician. I might be less inclined to use a non-doc if I hadn’t heard rave reviews from people I know and trust.

25. Has anyone dealt with a sudden weight gain related to medication? What did you do about work clothes?

    I’m in the process of switching to a different med, which will hopefully slow or stop the incredibly frustrating blow-up of my body, but in the meantime, I have nothing to wear to work. Including the new larger clothes I bought a few weeks ago to accommodate what was at that point a 12 lb. gain.

    I guess I’m looking for commiseration and advice. So frustrated and upset. Thanks.

    1. I’m sorry, I’m sure that is hard. I think some common advice is to focus on garments that are flexible or adjustable, such as wrap dresses and stretchy skirts. Get some basic colors so it won’t be too obvious if you wear the same few things all the time for a while. Variety can come from accessories like shoes, scarves and statement jewelry. Forget about pants for a while–they’re so much less accommodating. Classic button-front shirts are also probably something to just set aside until you feel your size is going to be more consistent.

    2. I had sudden weight gain and then loss. I bought new larger clothes to wear and then had them tailored smaller. You have to wear clothes to work, so you have to buy clothes that fit your body as it is today.

    3. Skirts and empire waist-like or flowy midsection tops under a suit jacket or cardigan.

    4. I’m so sorry you’re struggling and frustrated.

       Presumably the medication is necessary for your health, so it represents a real benefit for you. Remember your body is not your whole identity, you are still the same beautiful person you were 12 lbs ago. Every body can look amazing in the right clothes, so I strongly recommend buying a few pieces (a black pencil skirt, a pair of black pants, 3 blouses) that fit your current body and go ahead and rock it!

    5. I’m not sure how conservative your work place is, but Target is a godsend for cheap but passable work clothes. I’m assuming you don’t want to spend a ton of money until you see where your body stabilizes.

       Stretchy skirts or dresses, plain black pants, a plain top with a cardigan, a thin sweater. Cardigans and wraps do a wonderful job hiding clothes that fit less than well. A really streamlined look can be black pants or skirt, a jewel-colored top, and a black drapey cardigan. Another crazy idea, although I’ve had a few friends use it, is buying maternity pants without the full-belly panel. The waistband is elastic to accomdate size swings but doesn’t scream maternity – I believe Old Navy has a few versions of these for super cheap.

       1. Thanks, everyone. I already struggle with body image and disordered eating, so this is really pushing all the wrong buttons for me. I think I’m going to head up to Old Navy and see if I can find some cheap and loose dresses that I can throw cardigans over. I have lots of cardigans. All my blazers are too tight, as I tend to gain weight in the upper half of my body.

          Thanks mostly for just understanding and being so helpful–you guys are awesome.

          1. Old Navy, New York and Co when they have a sale, and dresses/skirts. I’m still going through this now – I had to take a 6 week course of Prednisone and I think I gained 15-18 pounds. I completely understand about how that can push the wrong buttons – I’ve always been fit and in sports, and could control my weight pretty easily. With/after certain meds, it makes it a lot harder and can be really frustrating, even depressing.

             Oh, and spanx with the dresses/skirts. I’ve never used them before, but last week I decided to give it a try and although it probably doesn’t make THAT much of a difference in reality, it made me feel better while trying to work to lose the weight.

    6. Don’t forget thrifting (had to change that from the autocorrect of “thrusting”)! I had a similar situation, needing work clothes fast but not wanting to spend a lot of money because I had already started loosing weight. In one afternoon at Goodwill I was able to find 2 blazers, 4 or 5 skirts and a few belts for approximately $40. They were all in great condition and most needed little to no alterations. This was a “flagship” store in the nicer part of town, as stores in nicer areas tend to have nicer stuff. They ranged from vintage to JC Penny and Macy’s brands, all in great condition.

26. Oh my gosh, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I signed up for flight deals from my city (which are pretty rare), and three weeks ago bought an impulsive ticket to Lisbon + Benelux for three weeks in early May. Totally fine and reasonable, if a somewhat spur of the moment decision. May is quiet at work, so it is fine.

    BUT TODAY, there’s a cheap flight to Shanghai or Beijing, and I am so so tempted to go in March. There is no way I can justify this, but I am just so so tempted still. I don’t have billable hours, but March is busy at work, and really, I should be saving for a condo, even though I don’t HAVE to buy, it’s probably time to do so. Why why why are new places so enticing?!?

    I clearly need to unsubscribe from the cheap flights emails, they make me crazy.

    1. Not to be an enabler — but what website? I would like to sign up.

       1. It might be Canadian only?

          The website varies by city, but it follows the format of [cityairportcode]deals.com, so there’s yyzdeals.com, yycdeals.com, yegdeals.com, etc.

          Oh, here’s a newspaper link to the various sites:

          http://life.nationalpost.com/author/chrismyden/

          Bear in mind that Canadians idea of “cheap” flights is verrry different than American cheap flights. Flights are really overpriced here.

    2. I don’t know but I might think it’s worth putting off buying a condo to go out and see the world. I traveled a lot when I was younger and single and I do not regret one penny I spent on it.

    3. Condos will still be there when you get back from Lisbon and Beijing. Even if you have to save for another year for a condo, that doesn’t seem like much in the grand scheme of your life.

27. I know it’s deeply wrong, but this post makes me want to rock this dress with the leopard print Karolina pumps from yesterday.

28. We just moved to a more open office plan and I am astounded at what people do in their cubicles, knowing that everyone can hear them! Using speakerphones, playing music (you can buy headphones for like $10, FYI), making long personal calls, and, my personal pet peeve, whistling or singing/humming! (No one, no one at all, wants to listen to you whistle or sing.) Pick up your phone or get a headset, take personal calls on your cell outside, and keep your singing to off hours unless you’re actually a professional musician and are currently being paid to sing.

    1. The other day I had to listen to the temp who sits behind me have an extended conversation with her husband about the contents of their checking account and why he had spent so much money in the past week. Super awkward….

    2. I can’t whistle and I think people who whistle at work are taunting me.

29. Anyone need a good cry? Beautiful love story: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20728828,00.html

30. I’ve got to share my excitement – stopped into a discount department store last night since it just happened to be right next door to the radioshack, and they had a black brocade blazer sitting there, as if it knew that it was on my fall shopping list!

    Things I was actually planinng on buying showing up in discounted stores almost never happens, but I love when that happens! (Marshall’s, if anyone else is looking for a blazer of that description. Now they just need to get in a leather trimmed pencil skirt…)

    1. Isn’t that just the best feeling? I felt the same way last week at Nordstrom Rack when I found a pair of black Frye Melissa Button boots. I seriously thought I was being punked. They were 43% off!

31. Yesterday I saw a woman wearing a shirt with a busy print of pastels. She had on a necklace with the exact same set of pastels, woven together. Each piece was fine on its own, but together it was waaaaay too matchy-matchy.

    After reading this site, I now know what I would have paired with that top instead: a statement necklace in a contrasting (darker) color. And probably a cardigan/blazer in a different but neutral color that toned down the top.

    Thank you all for opening my eyes. :)

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