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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I mentioned this dress in our work dress roundup earlier this week, but: look how purty! Fit and flare dresses can be difficult to find for work, but this one isn't too short, too wide a circle, too twee — it just looks like a great dress for $29 (minus 40% with code MERONA40!). It's available in burgundy and black sizes XS-XXL. Merona Fit and Flare Dress Here's a similar dress without any ratings yet — fewer details on the dress and less of a flare, but more color choices. Two plus-size options are here and here. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. Update: Ooh, Brooks Brothers is having a pretty good sale, online only –up to 70% off clearance. One of the first things I saw was this pretty twist on a classic gray skirt suit (blazer, skirt) — both pieces have lots of sizes left in regular and petite, and would have been almost $800 full price; the whole suit can be yours for just over $200. Wow, and a lot of the Black Fleece pieces (the last of the collection, I believe!) are suppppper discounted, like this lovely wool dress we featured a while ago — it was $650, but is now $195 (lucky size BB4 only, which is similar to an L I think.) (L-all)Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Ellen
Yay! Kat and Kate, this dress is PERFECT! And it’s so fruegel in Honor of Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s b/c this dress also has virtually NOTHING that Frank can peer into. Yes it is sleevless, but it is NOT loose so he can NOT look under my arm and see anything at all, execept my underarms. FOOEY on Frank, b/c he limit’s my wardrobe. Doubel FOOEY!
Tonite is the first Seder, and I am ready with my niece, who is so cute, to do the 4 question’s! Why is this night different from any other night? At least in my case, b/c there will be a guy there who knows I am interested in checking out to see if he is MARRAGE material. I will get back to the hive next week with a full report, tho a second date will have to await next week, that is of course unless he turns out to be a doofus. FOOEY if he is.
But I am hopeful and Grandma Trudy and Leyeh are both praying that this guy will be the one to sweep me off my feet (I have lost weight and only am now at 122 lbs! YAY! tho Dad says I could be at 115 with a smaller tuchus. FOOEY on Dad for alway’s pointing out my tuchus. I will be MORTIFIED if Dad start’s talking to this guy about my tuchus at the Seder table. TRIPEL FOOEY!
Anonymous
I would so have 4 cups of wine with Ellen.
Susan
I would also. But I figure I also want to meet Ellen’s guy. If she does not want him, I will accept him for sloppy seconds!
Phd Help
I will be applying to Phd programs (in health sciences) this summer along with some masters programs and I’ve read that reaching out to professors is helpful in making your application stand out. Did anyone else do this/think it helped them get into their choice schools? Also, how did you go about it?
Anon
I reached out to three professors when I was applying to MPH programs and heard back from one. I got admitted, but I have no clue if reaching out played a role or not. I do think it’s useful to confirm that there are professors you want to work with – I heard from a colleague who completed her MS in public health that she wished she had researched a bit more to find schools with professors matching her interests.
lost academic
Depends on the kind of program. You need to obviously be competitive with the applicant pool, but in the PhD programs related to my field, you are well served by researching the faculty you’d like to work under and asking them about upcoming grants and projects to find a role you can fit. If you can do this before the application is in, you can tailor it more towards that, and then it’ll be a significant factor at many places for being chosen for admittance – at the end of the day, the department wants to admit people who will receive that financial support from faculty who are investing in them.
Josie Pye
I’m a professor in health sciences and it absolutely makes a difference for PhD programs because faculty members review applications of applicants who either mention the faculty member in their statement or seem like a good topical fit. So if I already know your name/interests when your app lands on my desk, you are starting out ahead.
All schools are different, but for us, a smaller pool of faculty members (admissions committee only) review masters applications, so it’s less likely that the person you contact will be the one reading your app. That said, I have sent a note to the admissions chair if I’ve chatted with someone who I think would be an especially good fit, so their app gets flagged.
Also Academically Inclined
2nd this.
DrPH
The department I went to required at least two faculty members to say that they were willing to work with a doctoral applicant before the applicant would be accepted. Therefore, reaching out to faculty who shared your interests before applying was almost a prerequisite. (This is a lousy acceptance process, and costs the school good students. Also, creates a lot of pressure for students to stay with an adviser when things aren’t working out.). I think it’s probably in general a good idea to email faculty who share your research interests and mention that you’re interested in learning more about their work, ask if they’re taking on new students, and mention that if they have any big projects coming up you’d be interested in being their research assistant. It can’t hurt and might help.
KM
Love that dress! Gorgeous!
I have a good friend whose in the hospital recovering from surgery. Any links to fun websites/games/etc to send while she recuperates? I think random internet time is a nice way to break up the reading and movie-watching.
Anonymous
Plants vs Zombies – way more addictive than I would have thought.
KM
Ha, that’s a great idea!
Laura | Sea Salt & Cervantes
Haha love that game too. Lately I’m really into Two Dots.
Baconpancakes
I’m on a Two Dots hiatus to save my relationship. He’s the one who got me started on it, but it’s just so addicting and emotionally rewarding to just keep winning level after level, I can’t stop.
Opal
I’m on level 475 of Two Dots. I’m not even ashamed.
lost academic
Find games on Steam. I got addicted to Don’t Starve.
CherryScary
I’ve been playing Stardew Valley, very relaxing cartoon farm simulator.
Anonymous
I can kill HOURS on Buzzfeed doing all the quizzes.
KM
Oh that’s a good idea too! I totally love those, such a fun guilty pleasure.
sweetknee
I downloaded a free game on my phone called 1010. It’s kind of like Tetris…. I am hooked.
Anon
Someone posted about a game on here a while ago that I loved and for some reason removed from my phone and now I can’t remember the name. Basically it was a square filled with little squares of different colors. The object was to turn all the little squares the same color. I miss that game! Anyone know what I am talking about?
Runner 5
2048?
Anon
No – it’s more like Othello, where a square of color A placed next to a square of color B, will change B and all adjoining squares to color A. I am not describing this very well!
Anonymous
Monument Valley!
Anon
No but that looks fun!
Hurt thumb
I have a hurt thumb (osteoarthritis in the first CMC joint). The hurt part is the part you use when you do pushups. What else can I do that is like a pushup (in terms of muscles used and strength training benefits) that gets the weight off of that joint? Just planks (which I don’t love)?
I don’t really have a gym and just do this at home.
This is going to be a lifetime thing probably, so it’s not like staying off of it for a few weeks will help (and the dr. says I can get cortisone shots, but only about 4 a year and to work on preserving the joint / not aggravating it).
Also in Academia
Can you use those handle thingies to brace your hands on? Google tells me they are literally called “push up handles.” I think of them more in the context of wrist protection, but they look like they might help thumbs??
Anonymous
5lb dumbells work well too. I have to keep my wrists aligned due to carpal tunnel risk and can only safely do pushups while holding 5lb dumbells, never with my hands flat on the floor.
Sydney Bristow
I think they are also called paralettes (or something like that). There are some diy instructions for making your own that might be cheaper than buying them. I’ve seen some nice store bought ones though that rotate as you do the push-up, but I don’t know what impact that would have on the strain.
Anon
Try modifying your push ups (look for modifications for wrist injuries) Also look at the yogi push up form as it takes most of the strain out of the hand in general.
MJ
I have this too, and whenever I do boot camp or similar, I have to use free weights to do pushups. By making a fist to hold around the weight, you take the pressure off your thumb joint. So yeah, push up handles or a ten-pound or under free weight is what you need. You can also do planks on your forearms instead, but it won’t work your shoulders in quite the same way.
And yes, this is a longtime injury that I hven’t really been able to get a good fix for, even with PT. I am not in the workaround camp for it.
Engaged!
As requested, follow-up from my proposal anxieties yesterday: he proposed!
Pretty much as adorable and romantic as I’d ever hoped. We did “go for a walk” in a park, then sat kind of awkwardly and eagerly on a bench for a few minutes. He got down on one knee but couldn’t even make it through “Will you marry me” before bursting into tears. Beautiful classic ring. Followed by ultra-fabulous dinner where we were treated like royalty. Yay!
Thanks for all your kind words and comments yesterday. While lots of you suggested staying calm and not getting my hopes up, I ended up saying F it – got a mani, blowout, and a pretty new dress. Not everyone’s style, and not really something I ever expected- but it really felt like I was living out the fantasies of my twelve-year-old self.
Anonymous
Yayyyy congratulations!!!
Spirograph
Aw, congratulations! This is adorable, and I’m happy everything turned out the way you hoped. Here’s to many more happy years together!
Betty
Congratulations! May I offer a suggestion? Write down your memories of last night for your future self: the little details that made it special and that fade from memories with time. Congrats again!!
Anonymous
Yay! I was so hoping that’s how the story would end!
Anonymous
Congratulations!
Anon
Congrats!
Anon in NYC
Congrats!
anon
yayyy!!! Congrats!
bridget
Congratulations!!
Woods-comma-Elle
Yay! I was actually particularly excited to read the comments today just to see whether he popped the question and I’m very happy for you! Congratulations!
Blonde Lawyer
Me too!
Anonymous
Oh my gosh, YAY!!! Congratulations!!!
Ellen
+1 YAY! I also wish this hapens to me! WE all should be MARRIED! I am praying I meet a man like this! DOUBEL YAY to you and your husband to be!!!!!!
Anonymous
Yay! Congrats! I was also excited to read the comments. So happy to hear it actually happened.
Cat
aww! congrats!
Mrs. Jones
Congratulations!
Anon
YAY!!! I’m so happy for you, and thrilled that you treated yourself to all the fun stuff beforehand. :) What a special day!
New Tampanian
WAHOO!!! Congrats!!!
lucy stone
WAHOO!!! Congrats!!!
Baconpancakes
Mazel tov! So wonderful to get that thrill of everything going like a perfect dream, and on top of that, now you get to actually marry the person you’re crazy about! Best wishes for everything.
ITDS
That’s wonderful!!
Delta Dawn
I am so happy to read this! Best wishes!! I’m also glad he asked at the beginning of your evening so you could enjoy the night without all the wondering. This is so exciting!
Anon
I don’t know you IRL, but am sitting in Chicago crying tears of joy for you. Congratulations! And we don’t have many opportunities to honor the fantasies of our twelve year old selves, so good for you for honoring her and letting her have that day exactly as she hoped. And I second writing it all down. YAY!
Sydney Bristow
Congratulations!
Anon
Congrats! It’s so lovely when things go just the way you’d hoped!
PS: I was one of the posters who recommended calming down. As I was writing, I was half hoping you wouldn’t (and I’m happy you didn’t). I wasn’t trying to be a party pooper – just didn’t want you to get hurt.
Anon
For the first time ever, something I posted is stuck in moderation – and in this thread?
Because I don’t think you’ll mind hearing it once more – CONGRATS! I’m so pleased for you.
Senior Attorney
Hooray! Couldn’t wait to log on this morning and was hoping to find this news!!
Best wishes to you and your intended!!
Marshmallow
Congratulations!!!
Anon
I just ordered this dress – I had tried the sheath version, but it was SO unflattering on my ample hips and butt (the same thing happened with the Land’s End sheath dress with pockets). Does anyone have any recs for more A-line ponte dresses? I like ponte and it’s the right level of casual for my office, but clearly the sheath options aren’t working out for me.
Anonymous
I’m also interested in answers to this – I’m an apple and sheaths do not flatter my belly.
Fellow apple
If you’re an apple I think separates are better than dresses. A flowy top with a straight skirt is going to be best.
Anonymous
I’ve gotten them from Talbots before with good results (bad results at Boden) and have had the top taken in on the side seams to fit me (hips were fine; waist was actually in the right place and didn’t make me look pregnant with my non-flat tummy).
Also Uniqlo dresses have worked well on me.
Killer Kitten Heels
I think they’re actually heavy jersey, not ponte, but Old Navy nearly always has some version of an A-line tank dress available – I have 2 or 3 and do wear them to the office on Fridays (we’re business M-Th and business casual on Fridays).
Anonymous
I think you might have a search term problem.
The super popular dress from LE is a-line. A-line dresses are narrowest at the waist and taper out gradually to create a narrow bell shape.
This dress above is fit and flare. It has a small waist and full skirt.
Sheath dresses are fitted close to the body throughout the skirt.
The LE dress isn’t a sheath, it’s an a-line. It sounds like maybe a-line dresses aren’t working for you. If you search for fit and flare or full skirts, I think you’ll have much more success finding options! I second the recommendation for Talbot’s.
HSAL
The LE dress is a sheath. There are non-sheath ponte options, but the one that gets talked about most around here is the sheath.
And now ‘sheath’ looks really weird.
Winter is my colors
I am an extreme pear, and on my figure, the Land’s End popular dress is A line. Even if they call it a sheath, it is cut like an A-line.
HSAL
That’s very strange. I just bought my first and it was much sheath-ier than I expected based on the picture online. Perhaps they’ve changed the cut a tiny bit? I’m hourglassy bordering on pear and I definitely consider it a sheath.
Anonymous
I just went to the website to be sure I hadn’t misspoken! I’d feel bad.
I didn’t realize they call it a sheath; I can see why OP is using that term now. But I’m very much a pear and it is most definitely an a-line on me – it has a bit of a bell shape and gets gradually wider from the waist down.
The width at the knees is for me what distinguishes a sheath from a-line. Yesterday’s dress is a sheath; the LE dress is wider at the knees on me than anywhere else. Not dramatically so, but just a bit. On the website, mine fits like the peach one appears to in the photo.
That said, mine is from 2013(?), so it’s entirely possible they’ve changed the cut some.
Anon
Yes I keep getting sucked in to the Land’s End sheath recommendations, but when I click onto the link, I’m reminded why I don’t have one – it’s definitely an a-line.
A sheath should be no wider at the hem than it is at the hips. Often sheaths taper in toward the hem.
Land’s End’s dress is wider at the hem than at the hips. Not a sheath
Anon
Specifically, using Land’s End garment measurements for a size 8 –
Garment hip 40 1/2
Garment sweep 45 1/2
Sweep is the circumference of the hem.
So this is an A-line dress, not a true sheath.
pil
The 3/4 sleeve one, with the notch neck is a sheath. At least one I have from last season is.
jumpingjack
I am the same shape as you. I’ve had good luck with ponte fit and flare or a-line dresses from several brands I find at Nordstrom (usually online) – Maggie London and Eliza J. Tahari ASL, even sheaths, used to work for me but not as much lately.
Kitty Non Grata
I am literally wearing this dress right now, and it is great. Perfect for a more casual Friday, but still looks professional.
APC
This dress is one of my favorite workhorses. I have it in a pretty dark pink and I wear it to the office with cardigans/blazers, and have dressed it up and worn it out with statement necklaces.
Anonymous
What are your strategies for house bidding? I live in a buyers market right now, and I’m seeing a place later that I *love*. It’s been listed for 4 months, and the price has dropped by 25k once already. I’m thinking of bidding 15k under the current list price- it’s a foreclosure, so I think I have room to be aggressive.
Anonymous
Nobody can really answer this without knowing the details of your market. This is something a real estate agent should advise you on.
Anonymous
My agent is kind of flighty- I probably need a new one if this place doesn’t work out.
CountC
This exactly. Your agent should be able to talk to the listing agent to see if they have had any offers in the past so that you have an idea of where the owners and/or bank is rejecting offers. Keep in mind on a foreclosure, even if the owner accepts your offer, that doesn’t mean the bank will!
CountC
UGH EDIT *owner and/or bank are
Terry
Look at comparable houses that have sold recently and base your bid on that (and offer a few sentences to explain the reason behind your bid). Most real estate sites allow you to search for recently sold homes.
Anonymous
Your strategy should be to determine what the house is actually worth. The list price is a just a number – some are too high, some are about right, some are a little low. Price per square foot and all that are not useful in determining that – after all, a fully renovated house is way more per square foot than an outdated one with structural problems, right? Your agent should be able to pull comps of other houses that have sold in the area (same town, school district, similar homes) and you can see how they were finished compared to the one you want to make an offer on and all those details. For houses that are no longer pending, the agent can see what the assists were – so maybe the house sold at 300k, but the seller gave 10k back in closing costs so the real price was 290k. One you feel like you know what it is currently worth, you can probably start off low and expect the seller to counter. With a foreclosure it may be owned by a mortgage company, so it will be a longer process. Your agent can guide you through it.
Anonymous
My coworker who drives me nuts is leaving for a new job today! OH HAPPY DAY! Happy Friday, hive.
silk tops
Does anyone have the joie rancher silk top? Is it too sheer for work, especially in the lighter colors?
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/joie-rancher-silk-pocket-top/4385131?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=ICE%20BLUE
LAnon
Yes. I love Joie but I find about 50% of their stuff is too sheer for work without something under it, especially in light colors. How it looks on the model – able to see the waistline of her pants – is exactly how this looks in person. I spent several minutes in the dressing room agonizing over the porcelain version of this top because it seemed like such a nice staple to have, but ultimately realized I would worry every time I wore it about transparency.
silk tops
would you wear it under a jacket without any concern? I’m looking at some of the lighter colors, but not white.
Informational Interview
Can an attorney be too dressed up in an informational interview type situation. Trying to decide between a suit or just a short sleeved dress. Note that none of the firm’s attorneys are wearing suits in their bio pictures…
CountC
IMO you can. I’d want to dress to match the culture of the person with whom I am talking. I don’t mind being a bit more formal, but I’d want to be dressed in a similar fashion.
Informational Interview
I agree, the problem is I don’t know enough about the culture yet. We were not connected through professional channels but through mutual friends so I don’t have much to go off of yet.
Anonymous
A short-sleeved dress sounds too informal. Can you go with a sheath dress in a suiting fabric and a non-matching blazer and maybe fun shoes or jewelry? If you have to choose between short-sleeved dress and suit, I’d go with the suit. Better to be over than underdressed.
Anon
Agreed. My go to is to say that I’m headed to (insert something about a more formal meeting) afterwards or dinner or something. Just never say you’re headed to court as that leads to “which judge?” or something that could get bad fast.
BKDC
Can you all recommend some lifestyle blogs? Preferably looking for blogs from urban-living women with kids. I used to like A Cup of Jo, but the sponsored posts seem to have gotten out of hand lately.
Anonymous
Ugh. Pretty much every blog these days is 90% sponsored posts, 10% absurdly staged photoshoots of way-too- perfect-looking moms and kids.
Anonymous
I used to love Cup of Jo but it’s gotten terrible. I agree with Anon at 10:38 that most lifestyle blogs are pretty awful. I find that I much prefer bloggers who have non-blogging jobs. I especially like Sugarlaws (she owns her own law practice). She was doing an increasing number of sponsored posts too but recently announced she’s no longer doing any. She doesn’t blog nearly as often as Cup of Jo, Cupcakes and Cashmere, etc., but I would rather read one quality post every week or two than 10 idiotic posts per week.
Anonymous
Omg, Cupcakes and Cashmere. I want to staple things to that girl’s face. Her blog is SO vapid and self-obsessed!
Anon
X1000!!!
BKDC
Thank you! I’ve given myself a headache with all the eye rolling I’ve been doing at a Cup of Jo lately. It’s a shame, because her guest posts — the ones related to international parenting and beauty routines — are terrific.
Anon
Slate XO blog, A Fine Sweet Day, and I really LOVED Abbey Nova but she’s done with her blog as well.
Anon
I’ve been feeling the same about Cup of Jo. Good content is buried under a lot of sponsored things. I laugh a bit when they post about job opening for editors. How many people do you need to put together “12 Summer Tops”? I guess I’m feeling snarky this morning…
Baconpancakes
If you’re into minimalism, and kind of rejecting the baby consumerism complex, I really like Reading My Tea Leaves. I am definitely not into her style of “only have four plates,” “make your own soap,” “1-bedroom apartment with a baby,” but she does have a lot of great tricks for small spaces, and has beautiful photography and great taste.
BKDC
Thanks, yeah, I don’t have time to make my own soap, but I do skew toward that lifestyle. Thanks for the rec!
Anon
I enjoy TheDailyHostess . c o m
Anon
Oh god no. this website is not good
CMC
I really like A Beautiful Mess, though they can skew a little overly precious/twee sometimes.
If you like food blogs that are more (really freakin’ good) writing than food, Poor Man’s Feast is incredibly well written. Her memoir was also excellent.
Amy H.
Try Design Mom. A few sponsored posts but not out of control. I love her “Day in the Life” posts and I’m not a mom! She also has a good series of “Living with Kids” posts that encompass urban and rural and overseas lifestyles. No LGBT parents/families yet but she has said explicitly that she wants to increase the diversity of families profiled.
She’s in Oakland — LDS but posted LGBT-positive things when the Supreme Court Obergefell decision came down.
Sydney Bristow
Has anyone seen no show socks that I can wear with dress shoes that don’t have the little sticky thing on the back? Target used to carry some but I haven’t seen anything lately and my collection is dwindling.
NOLA
DSW generally has a good selection of that sort of thing (up near the register). I’ve also seen them at SteinMart.
lost academic
Try Zappos?
Cornellian
Smartwool Secret Sleuth? Not cheap, but they last forever.
Cornellian
Weird, the ones I”m seeing online have grippies. Mine don’t. Maybe there are still some available without it.
Anonymous
I discovered this really experienced, talented seamstress near me and just got a few pairs of pants altered (usually I don’t buy them if they don’t fit right, or I buy them and just suffer through the poor fit). I swear it was life changing. I don’t know why I haven’t been doing this the whole time. What are some common clothing alterations you like to have done?
Sew sew sew
I’m short so I do this a lot. Sleeves and pants shortened, waist taken in, buttons replaces (changing buttons can change the look of a jacket). Alterations make a world of difference in having your cloths fit well!
lsw
I have always wanted to do that with jackets. Do you find your own buttons and bring them in? And if so, where? I’m overwhelmed at something like JoAnn Fabrics.
Meg Murry
I’m a pretty extreme pear, so while A-line and fit-and-flare dresses are the closest fit off the rack to accommodate my generous hips and rear, my most flattering dresses are sheaths or dresses that are just barely A-line that I bought in the right size for my lower half and had the top half taken in. Bonus that in a lot of dresses that is just taking in the side seam from waist to armpit, so it’s not a super expensive alteration, and I can usually tell if it will work or not just by first safety pinning the seams a little smaller myself.
pear here
Thanks for this tip. I have a similar issue, and since I don’t alter dresses often (I was giving up on them…) I never thought about what makes a dress easier to alter. Really appreciate this. Now it seems so obvious!
LAnon
I’m busty, so I buy oxford shirts that fit me in the chest and then take them to my seamstress; she takes in the waist and also adds a few little hook and eye closures between crucial buttons to to make sure there’s no gapping. I love love love being able to wear them, because I love the look but spent a good portion of my life avoiding them.
pugsnbourbon
About how much does this alteration usually run? I’m not busty but have very wide, muscle-y shoulders and struggle with button-downs.
Anonymous
I am long-waisted, so every dress I buy goes to the tailor to have the side seams and darts altered to move the waist down. I also have to have this done with many of my jackets. Being long-waisted makes my legs short for my height, so all my pants get hemmed, even cropped ones.
Unrelated to my being long-waisted, my tailor suggested tapering my pencil skirts at the bottom, which has given some formerly frumpy skirts a nice tailored silhouette.
Alanna of Trebond
Please share if you live in NYC. The people I have found in the city are insanely expensive.
OP
Sorry for the late reply – I’m in Canada, sorry!
lawsuited
I’m a short, plus-sized pear, so I get most things I buy tailored in some way to accommodate my hips of justice. My most common alterations are:
– Pants: hemmed
– Tops: seams under the arm taken in, seams at the hip opened
– Skirts: waistband taken in, darts put in through waist
– Dresses: significant darting through the bust and waist
If you’re new to tailoring, remember that you can have almost anything tailored. I’ve taken everything from swimsuits to winter coats to my tailor and she’s worked wonders with them all!
Casual Shoe help
Let’s say you were going to be stuck wearing these pants for the majority of the next 2 months. You have them in black, white, khaki and denim. You wear them while working from home as well as “about town” to exciting places like home depot, the playground, town center/casual restaurants, etc.
Your feet are swollen and you need shoes in a size 11. Of the shoes in your closet you can wear you’ve got a pair of rainbow flip-flops, (kinda grungy) gym sneakers and minnetonka mocs but none of these shoes really work.
Any ideas for one pair of shoes (non flip-flop, no heel, and bonus if they slip on because tying shoes is hard while 9 months pregnant)?
Before you are horrified, I also have work-appropriate dresses and shoes for office days :)
Casual Shoe help
Oops, these are the pants (or similar). http://www.motherhood.com/Product.asp?Product_Id=971170291&MasterCategory_Id=MC27
Anonymous
Skechers Go Walks. I’m obsessed with these shoes. They’re very casual so not appropriate for the office, but SO comfy and slip-on. There are loads of different styles and colours.
Meg Murry
Yes, I have a pair of Go Walks and I originally got them on clearance to be my “super casual around the house shoe” they are so comfy I don’t care anymore that I think the style I got is kinda ugly (because of the color combo), I wear them almost everywhere. Its seriously like wearing spongy slippers all day, and all other shoes hurt my feet in comparison.
Mine have the “goga mat” insole, and it really is like standing on a yoga mat.
This is what I’m referring to, and I’ve also seen them at Zappos and DSW. Target has a version as well, but I don’t think they are quite as spongy comfy.
https://www.skechers.com/en-us/style/13980/skechers-gowalk-3/bkw
Killer Kitten Heels
Skechers has also started making “relaxed fit” shoes – I have not tried them yet, but they seem like they fit the bill.
HSAL
I’m definitely going to check out the Go Walks because I want a good casual shoe, but last summer when I was pregnant I bought several pairs of the Ona flats from Target. Anything that covered the top of my foot (where I puffed up most) was really uncomfortable. They were cheap but surprisingly comfy. Size may be an issue – they go up to 11 but I had to size up half a size because they run small. I think with the pants you have, you could do a fun color that would go with all of them.
lsw
This is very timely because I just discovered yesterday about half way through work that I have reached the footswelling stage. Goodbye to my ankles and the tops of my feet, I hardly knew ye.
HSAL
It’s the worst – it lasted for a week or so after I gave birth and then I was so excited to get my “sexy supermodel ankles” (as I called them after the loaves of bread I had for months) back.
Anonymous
I would personally avoid the Onas then. I had two pairs that were great for about a year, but after a day of vigorous walking, my feet swelled up something terrible and those shoes were never comfortable again. I traded up to some Cole Haan flats in leather than have better handled minor changes to my feet throughout the day.
Another possibility could be a pair of Sperrys? I love mine.
Amelia Earhart
Dexflex Scrunch flats from Payless!
Casual Shoe help
not enough support in flats, unfortunately. They’re basically flip-flops with tops.
Lyssa
Probably silly question – when is a dress too “bridesmaid-y” to wear as a guest at a wedding? I think I’ve worn the same dress to the last many weddings I’ve been to, and I’m sick of it, but I’m not really going to have time to shop for a new one before an upcoming wedding. I have a light yellow, short, halter dress with chiffon overlay that I wore as a bridesmaid several years ago. I kept it because it was pretty and I thought that I could wear it again, but I never actually have. To be fair, it was a more eclectic bridesmaid choice, where the bride just said “pick a yellow dress,” and we all wore completely different ones. But, also to be fair, it did come from David’s and I do think that it was sold as a bridesmaid dress.
It looks very similar to this one: http://www.amazon.com/Huafeiwude-Womens-Length-Bridesmaid-Dresses/dp/B00ZOT9Z94/ref=sr_1_9?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1461336648&sr=1-9&nodeID=2969491011&refinements=p_n_size_browse-vebin%3A2343364011
Assuming that I confirm that the bridesmaids in this wedding are not wearing yellow, is it OK? Am I overthinking this?
Anonymous
You’re fine. People recycle bridesmaid dresses as cocktail dresses all the time. As long as the bridesmaids aren’t wearing the same dress, you’re good. Have fun!
SuziStockbroker
Totally fine.
Anonymous
Wear a cards and fun statement jewelry to hide the slight bridesmaid-y factor. Then enjoy! Nobody will care :-)
Anonymous
I think it looks great! Not notably bridesmaidish at all. I rewore a bridesmaids dress once to an event because I didn’t feel like buying a floor length gown (it was a strapless red satin number with a sweetheart neckline) and people kept telling me that they liked the dress, even though I thought it very obviously looked like it came from David’s Bridal. It led me to believe that people really won’t think about it.
Senior Attorney
Yep. Just fine. It’s a pretty dress!
Lyssa
Yay!
NOLA
I’m having my knee scoped on Monday. I have some fairly serious tears in the meniscus and I need to get it done and over with, although I’m a bit anxious about re-entry to work at such a busy time of year.
I know I’ll start PT shortly after surgery (I’ve had it before on the other knee) but I’m looking to stay active while I’m not allowed to really work out. Last time, I bought an exercise bike, but this time I’ll have the gym and I know that I’ll be able to ride a recumbent bike without resistance pretty shortly after I start PT. I’m thinking I’ll just do whatever upper body weights I can that won’t put pressure on my knee. Any other thoughts? Some websites mention an upper body ergometer, but my gym doesn’t have one of those. I *really* don’t want to swim because I don’t feel like being in a bathing suit around all of my students, although my friend has a pool.
Anonymous
A) ask your physical therapist. They should be able to help with this.
B) girl really?
1) pools usually aren’t chock a block with people you know
2) buy a bathing suit with coverage
3) get over it because you are a hard core grownup lady who knows swimming is fantastic non-weight bearing exercise (as long as your PT okayes it)
NOLA
Yeah, I’ll ask my physical therapist (she’s awesome) and I may consult with a trainer. But you’re wrong about this pool not being chock a block with people I know. I go to the gym at the university where I work, so I pretty much know a good number of the people at the gym (I go six days a week now) either from the gym or from working with them, or because I’ve had them in class.
Also in Academia
Yes, when you work at a college the number of people who know you and see you doing anything goes up exponentially. I too draw the line at swimming in the college pool. The students do seem to get a kick out of seeing me in the gym, thought.
NOLA
Exactly! I don’t mind working out with students and they seem to like it. But swimming is a whole different thing.
Lucy
I had meniscus surgery, and I was on crutches for weeks after. What surgery are you getting done? In my experience, I couldn’t bend my knee until after a couple weeks of PT. I wouldn’t really expect to workout utilizing the lower half of your body in any way. I’d stick to the arm weight machines, unless your arms are already tired from crutches.
NOLA
Interesting! When I had my right knee done in 2009, I only used crutches for a day or two and was able to go home (where I have stairs) on Wednesday after a Monday surgery. My challenge in PT was straightening my leg, not bending it! I’ve been so careful this time not to constantly keep my knee bent. The surgery description on my paperwork is arthroscopy with meniscectomy (medial and lateral). I don’t know how that compares to what I had in 2009, but from what they told me at my pre-op appointments yesterday, it’ll be about the same recovery. I mentioned being able to go home from my friend’s on Wednesday and the PA said that sounded right to him.
Anon knee surgery
I had my ACL repaired and medial and lateral meniscectomy three months ago, so I offer commiseration!
I haven’t been focused on cardio since my injury, so I don’t have much advice besides sticking to the PT and following your therapists instructions. My therapist has said that breast stroke is a no-no until six months post-op because of the knee twisting, but that may only be an issue for the ACL.
Simsi
I couldn’t find it quickly searching, so can anyone comment on BB sizing v. Banana Republic? I’m generally a 4 at BR, on the borderline of petite for height. Any thoughts on which Brooks Brothers sizes I should be looking at for the suit Kat linked?
Cat
Other than sweaters/knits (where I’d say BB is equivalent to JCrew or BR) I’m always a size (and occasionally a frustrating two sizes) larger in Brooks Brothers numerical sizing. Typically two sizes larger in pants (espec. slim fitting pants), one size larger in pencil skirts, and one size larger in button-front shirts. I’m also 5’4, hourglass/pear.
Cornellian
Does anyone have a good book, article or blog on overfunctioning/underfunctioning relationship pairs? I imagine it’s something a lot of us can relate to here. Thanks in advance.
Anon
Can you explain what you mean? (Or is this one of those things that I should know what it means? In law school parlance, is “over/underfunctioning” a term of art? Haha)
Because I have ALL the “I need help with my man” articles saved lol (secret Pinterest board for the sad and pathetic win – secret wedding board? Nope, secret self-help board), but I’m not sure what you mean.
Cornellian
Sure. In a separate comment I”ll post a good intro. Basically it’s an interdependent dynamic where the generally less powerful partner “makes up” for his or her less productive partner.
“Some common under-functioning characteristics are relying on others for advice on making decisions, communicating a sense of distress or need to others, self-sabotaging, frequently asking for or alluding to needing help, zoning out to TV or video games, making unwise career, relationship, or parenting decisions, appearing to others as lazy or unmotivated, and being somewhat immature for their age.”
“Classic characteristics of over-functioning include being overly focused on another person’s problems or life situation, offering frequent advice or help to the other person, actually doing things that are part of the other person’s life responsibilities (and believing that “if I don’t do it, then it won’t happen”), feeling anger when help is not “appreciated” or the UF doesn’t change (or even want to), the OF believing he/she knows a better way for an UF to be living, and frequently feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and neglecting self-care. Over-functioning can be seen as a type of “enabling”, even though the intent is the opposite”
pear here
I think I am both under-functioning and over-functioning.
Possible, yes?
Cornellian
Sure. I think you can only be either in relation to another person or group of people. In a vacuum, I think it’s impossible. I think classically 25 year olds underfunction at home relative to their parents but may overfunction in their romantic or social relationships.
lawsuited
Oh man, based on that description I’m definitely over-functioning, but can’t identify under-functioning folks in my life. So I’m just waltzing around giving people advice and doing stuff for people who really don’t need it. What a dweeb I am!
Cornellian
http://www.willmeekphd.com/overfunctioning-underfunctioning/
Killer Kitten Heels
Check out Co-Dependent No More – it’s a classic for a reason. Also, considering your question I’m assuming you’re the overfunctioner – as a former overfunctioner myself, I have to recommend focusing on addressing *only your own half of the problem.* Looking for resources to help your underfunctioning partner is literally the definition of overfunctioning.
Side note – my underfunctioner was actually my mother, but I have to say it’s amazing (not!) how she’s suddenly able to get her act together and do the necessary amount of adulating to continue to maintain her lifestyle now that I’m not doing it for her. I say this with as much internet-love as possible: if you are an overfunctioner, step one is backing off! (Repeat after me – “not my circus, not my monkeys.”)
Anon
I’m the anon from above who asked for the description. After reading it, I don’t have any articles on it for OP, but holy WOW, is that my relationship with my mother. I didn’t know what it was called.
Thanks to the people on this board, I stepped back last fall and let my mother fail (she’s 69, I’m 34) and “not my circus, not my monkeys” has felt amaaaazing since! I’m so surprised how easy it was to finally just flip that switch and (sounds terrible, but) stop caring. Seriously. She’s an adult.
Cornellian
Nice. My mother was the overfunctioner, it was hard to throw my sister to the wind when we were orphaned, but it’s been good for our relationship in the long term.
It’s harder in romantic/co-parenting relationships, though, I think. You can let them fail, but if they’re half the income/the other parent/etc, the effects are bad for you and your kids.
Anon
Oh my gosh, yeah, I bet! Good luck. I hope you find ways to cope.
It’s so dead around here today – maybe post again on Monday?
Anon
It’s been recommended here a lot but it helped me when I was in a similar relationship: Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay by Mira Kirshenbaum. It’s more directed to helping people decide whether to accept their relationship, try to improve a relationship, or leave a relationship. If you aren’t making that type of decision, I do not recommend the book for your situation.
Monday
It’s old but still relevant I think: “The Dance of Anger.”
Cornellian
Thanks, all.
LadyB
The Limited is having a sale starting at 2pm: 60% off full price items in stores and 50% off online
WestCoast Lawyer
Has anyone ever purchased from Sonnet James? They have some cute looking weekend dresses. The price seems a bit steep for what look like t-shirt dresses, but the description says they are more of a ponte. Any thoughts on sizing?
anon
Yes, I have 4 Sonnet James dresses, but I got them at steep discount.
Do I love them: yes. Are they worth the full price: no. Some are more ponte (ex. Coco) and some are t-shirt fabric (ex. Piper), but regardless of fabric, they pill like crazy. They’re insanely comfortable, cute, stretchy, and oh-so-easy to wear–I really love them!!–but I wouldn’t pay more than $50 for any of the dresses there because you can get similar quality at other stores for less.
Anonymous
What should I wear for a coffee shop interview with the general counsel of a small (500 employees) tech company in Texas? Already had a phone interview with HR. Company seems to pride itself on casual, not stuffy, culture. Go full suit, maybe in a color other than navy, black or dark gray?, or more business casual like a suit skirt with button-down or sweater set? It will be hot so I will likely have to take off my jacket if I wear a full suit. TIA!
Anonymous
Even though they’re casual, I’d still go with a full suit for an interview. Maybe a suit that isn’t black, gray etc. –something w pinstripes if you have it? A colorful top underneath? Or more jewelry than you’d normally wear to show that you’re not stuffy.
Inhouse Casual
Agreed. I am in house at a smaller company (>500 employees) that prides itself on being casual. However, for the interviews, it is still appropriate to break out the suit. Also, FWIW, even though my company is “casual,” I have found that the execs still tend toward business casual.
Anonymous
A spring suit in a light fabric/colour if you have it. Or, pencil skirt and button down, with nice jewelry like pearls.
Lorelai Gilmore
I just looked at the Eloquii website for the first time in ages and was really impressed by how much they have to offer – tons of interesting, fun clothes. I have tried ordering from them, but it was long, long ago (possibly when they were still part of Limited?) and they’ve clearly evolved.
Has anyone purchased from them recently? Comments about fit, quality, work-appropriateness of the fabrics, etc.?
Shopping challenged
I love this style dress. It would be way too easy for me to end up with a closet full of them, mostly in bright blue.