Coffee Break: ‘Moonstruck’ Saddle Bag

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Rebecca Minkoff Black Calf Hair and Leather 'Moonstruck' Saddle BagFun satchel from Rebecca Minkoff — and a pretty decent sale. I like the leopard details, the gold tone hardware, and the general shape of the bag — fun. It was $625, then marked to $499, but today there's an extra 40% off sale — bringing it down to $293. (It looks like they have the same bag but in lavender, sans leopard details, for $234 also.) Nice. Rebecca Minkoff black calf hair and leather ‘Moonstruck' saddle bag P.S. And I just noticed Bluefly has a lot of Minkoff wristlets for around $50. Hmmn (says the girl on the prowl for a wristlet). (L-4)

Sales of note for 2/14/25 (Happy Valentine's Day!):

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save up to 25% on select suiting, this weekend only
  • Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase — and extra 60% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + 15% off (readers love their suiting as well as their silky shirts like this one)
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 300+ styles $25 and up
  • J.Crew – 40% of your purchase – prices as marked
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site and storewide + extra 50% off clearance
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Flash sale ending soon – markdowns starting from $15, extra 70% off all other markdowns (final sale)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

139 Comments

  1. I am torn between a Lo & Sons OMG or the Rebecca Minkoff MAB tote. Any words of wisdom, ladies? I commute in foot/public transit and carry a bunch of crap usually. I like that the OMG would be lighter, but the Minkoff bag is so pretty! TIA!

    1. I had a Minkoff MAB and it did not wear well. I have friends that have older “models” that seemed to have lasted longer. While I am relatively hard on bags, I’m not that hard. I think the quality has decreased over time.

    2. I’d definitely go with the MAB. I ordered the OMG and did not like it at all (though I’m clearly in the minority here). I’ve seen the MAB tote in stores and love it. Can’t speak to how it wears over time since I do not own it (but I want it) although Nordstrom has such a great return policy you could get it from there for peace of mind.

  2. I’m so annoyed- I just did a huge Sephora order a week ago, only to get an email yesterday that ebates is doing 8% back instead of the regular 2% AND Sephora is offering 3x beauty bank points for VIB members…so that giant order could have cost less, and pushed me into VIB Rouge, wich would have given me free shipping for the year. Boooo.

    1. I hate it when that happens. Why not just reorder everything now and then return the stuff that you bought originally?

      1. That’s actually a good idea…I feel like I’m gaming the system a little bit, but at the same time…

        How does ebates handle returns?

        1. Sephora will alert Ebates that you returned the items, and Ebates takes the $$ earned out of your Ebates account. Your new order will add 8% of your new sub-total to your account though.

  3. I suffer some deep-seated anger towards someone who is, essentially, a stranger to me, as well as someone who has become a stranger to me. Under the circumstances, it seems impossible for me to express my anger directly towards them, or in any way that could bring a resolution. Are there counselors who specialize in such things? Anyone had luck with anger management techniques you’d like to share? I’d really like to move on, but seem to be incapable of it.

    1. Boxing. You can’t hit them (unless they wander in looking for a sparring partner) but the heavy bag is seriously great for suppressed anger.

    2. To the OP, you should do your best to let go of any anger you have to peeople b/c no one is perfect; far from it! Do as I do — Just say FOOEY! and move on. YAY!

      I love the saddle bag, but very expensive and dad would get very mad if he sees this on my credit card bill (which he see’s and pay’s every month for me). For the OP, I could get mad at dad for alway’s saying things about my weight, but I know he is saying this b/c he wants me to be slim and healthy and find a guy to MARRY me so he can retire and give my husband the responsibility to MANAGE my fineances. So I let his coments pass.

      For example, Dad said over the weekend when I put on a batheing suit that my legs and tuchus look’s like a SADDLE BAG that need’s to be emptied. Could I get mad at him for saying this? Of course, but I do NOT b/c he loves me and want’s me to find a guy, which I can more easily do with a smaller tuchus. He always point’s to ROSA, who was alway’s more PETITE then me and has a great tuchus even after having kid’s! She landed ED, b/c Ed wanted a beauty who he could show off at the office and on the golf course with his CLEINT’s. ROSA does not have to work, b/c Ed makes alot of money and has a nice house in Chapaqua, NY. Mabye when I find a guy, he will NOT care about my tuchus and he will make alot of money so I dont have to work, but I cannot think to much about it.

      For now, just take thing’s as they come. Peeople will be jerk’s but we know that. Just say FOOEY! to them and then move on to other more productive thing’s. That is what I do and so far, it has worked. Once I find a guy who will adore me and marry me, I will be VERY happy! YAY!!!!!

    3. As someone who experienced a ton of severe racism all throughout my childhood and through my high school years (yup, my parents picked a crap-@ss town to live in, and hey, it was the late 70s/early 80s, so there was a lot less awareness and acceptance then), I ended up with a ton of anger in my early 20s.

      I didn’t like what it was doing to my interpersonal relationships and I didn’t like how mild annoyances would eat up so much mental energy, so I saw a really kick@ss therapist.

      You may not want the same thing, but I’ll share my experience in the hope that it’s helpful.
      1)I did not want a setup where all I would do is vent and blow off steam to the therapist for the 50 minutes or so and then go right back to the unhealthy patterns. That seemed like a poor use of time and money to me, as it would not fix the root problem. I told the therapist I had this problem, I wanted a toolkit of cognitive behavioral management skills to control it and to not let it destroy my relationships or my peace of mind, and that I wanted to get to that point where I had some mastery of the skills and then I’d leave therapy. I told the therapist on session 1 that that was a hard line that wouldn’t be crossed. I was completely uninterested in giving this therapist (who’s awesome, btw) an annuity for life.

      2)What was really helpful was learning that some of the anger is absolutely justified. If someone is heaping crap on you, yes, it’s appropriate to be angry about it, and that’s healthy, because it means you have a healthy sense of self and self-respect. What’s not healthy is stewing about it forever. We discussed ways to not let it eat at me. This is something that you’ll have to work out with your therapist/counselor. It’s not a one-size fits all thing. My psyche is probably pretty different from your psyche.

      3)What was also really crucial to controlling the anger is to forgive myself. Yup. Not necessarily the other person, because some things aren’t necessarily deserving of forgiveness. It’s forgiving myself for not speaking up sooner, or not having made the perfect rejoinder, or for not being luckier, or whatever it is that I’m actually really upset about.

      4)Finally, the thing that also helped me find balance was that the therapist didn’t try to hamstring me and make me a passive, weak doormat who would mindf*ck herself into thinking that whatever crap people heaped on me was somehow “good and a lesson from the universe” or some such twaddle. I have friends who’d gone to therapists who tried to convince them to brainwash themselves into thinking that everything that happened to them, including being manipulated and treated crappily, was an opportunity to learn humility or some mystery from the universe to solve. This just made them more angry, because on some level, it’s the silencing of the victim plus the offensiveness of the “just lie back and enjoy it and stop complaining” nonsense. The key for me was to not react disproportionately to the offense dealt to me. So it’s not that I won’t crack skulls– it’s that I don’t get to crack them all, and I recognize that most don’t really deserve it.

        1. Susie, This is exactly what I’ve been doing! Must add this to my ipod, and perhaps send it as a gift. That may be just the therapy I need.

  4. I’m on the hunt for a gray, animal print dress (very small print). I’ve seen two women wearing them lately and they look amazing! Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks!

    1. I have this in a different color and I love it! shop.nordstrom.com/S/calvin-klein-animal-print-cap-sleeve-ponte-sheath-dress/3490985?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=456&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_2_D

      1. I have this in a different color too and adore it. It feels like wearing pajamas and is very flattering.

      2. I love it! But belts don’t work well on me. I’ll keep hunting (get it? animal print?)!

        1. If it helps I often wear it without a belt, with a blazer or cardi over it. The belt placement is a little odd but I love the dress overall enough that it doesn’t bother me.

  5. Q for those who have undergone or supported someone who has undergone chemo:

    My mother lives a plane ride away and will be beginning chemo for breast cancer next week. Her treatments will be every 6 weeks for 6 treatments, spanning about four months. I would like to schedule a week to go be with her, and am trying to figure out the best time. I’ve heard that you are at your weakest a few treatments in, after the drugs have compounded a bit, and so it might be most helpful for me to be there after a few treatments (as opposed to right at the beginning). Thoughts on this?

    I wish I could be there more, but unfortunately, I cannot. Luckily, my sister and dad are there, and my mom’s sisters are also in-state. I guess I just want some feedback on when you/ your loved-one needed the most help so I can try to be there then. Thanks!

    1. No advice on your particular situation, but when my mother had breast cancer it made a big difference to call her every day during her treatment (as opposed to once or twice a week, as I had been doing). The psychological effects of a cancer diagnosis can be as big a deal as the physical side effects from treatment (as I’m sure you’re aware at this point).

      1. I agree with this. It’s hard when you aren’t there, but you can call, buy funny cards, print and cut out funny pictures (“endorphins make you happy!”), send her things throughout her treatment. I agree that it’s a few treatments in when it really starts to suck. Based on my experience, hair loss comes about a week or two after the third treatment.

        Hoping for the best for your mom and thankful she has a supportive family. It really matters!

      2. Agree to calling during treatments and sending on fun things to keep her busy during treatments and to know you’re thinking about her. Cancer treatment is a lot of sitting in boring spaces.

        1. “Lots of sitting in boring spaces” – yes, this. Treatment are long, so even when you can’t be with her, some fun gifts of stuff to do during treatments (books, magazines, crossword puzzles, books on tapes) might be appreciated. If you can call during her treatment, or even send funny pictures / links / videos to her phone during treatment, it will probably be very appreciated.

        2. If it’s a lot of sitting around – I don’t know, does your mom have an ipad? Maybe get her one and load it up with sweet movies/tv series, fun apps? Or maybe an e-reader with a dozen books on it? If you can be there, just something to keep her busy, and you can “surprise” her by ordering new books or movies/tv shows for the e-reader or ipad on a weekly (or whatever time period) basis? If you go with an ipad, you can record a video for her of you saying something uplifting or inspirational or funny, or whatever your mom likes? It might be a gift you can split between you and your sister/dad, if it’s too pricey for you?

          And I’m not sure about her hospital, but if they have wifi and you get her an ipad, then you’d be able to facetime with her, if you have an iphone or ipad or mac also, which might be a nice way to keep in touch?

    2. I’m so sorry to hear this. I have no advice on your particular question but I know h0w hard it was on my entire family when my grandmother had cancer so make sure you’re taking care of yourself and giving yourself a chance to process your feelings. I hope your mother gets better.

  6. I really heart when there is a huge interdepartmental disagreement, and the Big Boss is all “I might pull the ‘I’m the boss’ routine” super reluctantly and all whiny and then “sssiiiigghhhh”. Um, yes, because that is, in fact, What. You. Are.
    Congratulations.

  7. So more as a commuting shoe probably, but what do you guys think of these booties for wearing to work in the fall with black tights and dresses. They’re so comfy and I feel like they’re not totally over the top, but is that just my inner rock child trying to get out? I want something that I can be comfy in, can easily switch out of, and that will be fun to wear if I go out with non-lawyers after work, like I am still a normal young person.
    http://www.loehmanns.com/shoes-boots/bcbgeneration-logann-studded-flat-ankle-boot.htm

    1. I think those are perfect commuting shoes!
      I love the ankle bootie look with dresses and they are for the commute, which is the perfect time to show a little rock and roll! Plus, I think they look practical, if I saw someone wearing them to commute, i would only think: “Hm, she is very practical.” Which is a good thing. Rock Em!

  8. Does anyone have the Old Navy Rockstar Super Skinny colored jeans? I’m looking for some inexpensive colored skinny jeans, but the reviews on these are all over the map (“order 2 sizes up” & “fits TTS”). I can’t tell what body type they fit the best. Anyone have any better recommendations for colored skinnies? I’m tall so a lot of cheap jeans (i.e. Target) are too short.

    1. I LURV rockstars. I have a few different pairs. They are super comfy and look great for the price. But they ARE all over the map. They are made so cheaply that a whole stack of them the same size are all completely different. I cannot buy them online. I go in the store, grab every single pair of 10 AND 12 I can find and then try them all on. If I am lucky, I will find two that fit on the same trip.

      Also, they are super short, and do not come in Tall (at least not in the store). So, if target are too short, the rockstars might not work for you. :o( Sorry.

      Those are the only places I get skinnies, but I am not tall, so I’m sorry I don’t have better suggestions.

      1. +1

        They’re great when you find the right size, but you may definitely have to try every time. In my experience, they’re good for curvy bodies and denim/black fit differently from bright colors.

    2. I have them in black and they were TTS in black, but when I tried on other colors, they were truly all over the map. Mostly small-nothing fit like the black did. I read all the website comments too, and I think it’s just ON-there is a remarkable inconsistency even in sizing of the same pant. Also, I’m 5, 8 and they were ankle skimming on me. I kept the black to tuck into a flat boot but they were kind of short.

      1. yeah, fun fact: In order to keep prices down, they put HUGE stacks of fabric into the machine that cuts the pieces to sew together. The huger the stack, the more the cut pieces are completely irregular. Picture cutting too many pieces of paper with a pair of scissors and how the pieces slide to one side as you cut. Anyway, fun visualization of the day ;o)

    3. I’ve gotten colored jeans at Uniqlo for about $20 — they are really nice quality and they are long because they do free alterations in store. Not sure what they have now, but check them out.

      1. Uniqlo is coming to my local mall this fall and I’m definitely curious to check it out. There is one in SF but I’ve never had the time to visit.

    4. I have the dark wash demi-boot Rockstars and generally am okay with them, but they bleed color like crazy (to the point where I was scrubbing blue dye off my legs with a loofah). This continued even after several washes and is probably still going to continue, but I haven’t worn them in a while. Old Navy has always been super hit-or-miss and usually miss for me, but when I found these jeans (the one type of theirs that fit me at all), I decided it was worth it ($26) to try them out.

      1. Yes! What is with all the color bleeding w/ ON jeans? I’ve had mine for several months and by the end of the day, there is dark wash stain on my fingers.

    5. Target has long sizes for skinny jeans now. I believe they just revamped their jeans line.

    6. For colored skinny jeans, I’ll also plug Zara. I’m 5’10 and they’re long enough to touch the tops of my shoes. With fall clothes starting to arrive, you might be able to pick some pairs up on sale.

  9. Professor Bhaer and I are off to Montreal for what has turned out to be out baby moon, lol. I lived there, so I know what I want to do in terms of walking around and looking at stuff, but it’s been years so I am hoping for some resto recommendations. We definitely want to go for a nice dinner, and the menu at Pied de Cochon is way too porky for my tastes. Any suggestions? Non-fancy recs also welcome :)

    1. I went to Holder not too long ago and it was really good (old Port). If you don’t mind heading south east there’s an Italian place called Machivallies across from Charlevoix metro which is great. For non fancy eats try Brit and Chips which is amazing super authentic fish and chips (I went to their Old Port location).

    2. Cafe Europea was good and elegant, but on the way-expensive side. Les 400 Coups was slightly cheaper, crowd was a bit younger, and still delicious.

    3. I think it’s a chain, but DH and I enjoyed Steak Frites down by the waterfront. It was something like $20 US for a good cut of steak with unlimited fries (so good). Maybe not so relevant since it’s a babymoon, but it’s BYOB with no corkage.

  10. (reposted from this morning because I’m not seeing it and would like some thoughts–but thanks Lyssa!)

    I am wondering if the wise hive has any thoughts about moving from two to three kids. We have two (ages 5 and 2) and are considering expanding to three. Part of our thinking is that we love (and usually like) our kids, and we are so deep into it that one more can’t be that traumatic. In terms of our life set-up, it would remain largely the same–both kids would continue in school/preschool, and we are hiring a nanny to help with the afternoon and evening shifts. Both my husband and I work fulltime, and I have some flexibility; we would not have to move, or do anything major along those lines.

    I had naively thought that moving from one to two was NBD, but it ended up feeling much harder than zero to one. That was partly because of job changes for both of us, but it was largely trying to balance the needs of a toddler and newborn. I’ve heard from folks who’ve done it that two to three is not as bad because (basically) you’re already wholly into the parenting thing (and perhaps because you’ve already given up a lot going to two–there’s nothing less).

    Any thoughts from the hive (especially those with three) would be greatly appreciated. (Sorry for another kids/parenting/baby thread.)

    1. I’d love to hear more about this too, my husband and I haven’t had kids yet, but we both grew up basically as only children, so I always have this fantasy that a big family would be nice. In reality I know that probably isn’t the case.

    2. I read the Motherlode blog over at the NY Times and it had two articles discussing having an only child vs having a big family. The writer who has only one child said that she loves her child very much and doesn’t want any others like the child. That struck me for some reason; I hope to have a big family and I had never thought that you could look at your child and think “only one.”

      One other thing you mention that I’m going to comment on — going from one child to two is a MUCH bigger shift than going from zero to one. It’s incredibly challenging and you, as the mom, can no longer take care of the child(ren) all on your own. Obviously there are single mothers and moms that really can make that happen, but if you’re married, you’ll find yourself relying on your partner far more with the second baby than with the first.

      Another thing to consider is how you would feel if your “third child” turned out to be twins. There’s another Motherlode article discussing a parent whose third child turned out to be her third and fourth children.

      It’s an incredibly personal decision. Best of luck to you and your partner making this choice.

      1. PS – your first comment is on the second page of comments on the morning thread. At the bottom of the comments on the first page, there is a “Newer Comments” link, where your question appears.

      2. lol re the third child turning out to be 3rd & 4th. I know a couple who both came from large families (more than 5 kids) and after having 4, he convinced her that 5 would be a good number. And then they had triplets and ended up with 7. Twins do run in her family. You just never know!

      3. The part about loving the one child so much and not wanting anyone else like him is sort of what’s throwing me (and I’ll have to head over to NYT). I’m sure I would have thought it was stupid before baby. I was sort of worried about that with regards to having the first with my husband, too (as in, I couldn’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love my husband), but I guess it’s worked out. I’m also sort of worried about somehow not loving the second as much, or about the second being very different from the first (first was a very easy pregnancy and has mostly been a surprisingly easy baby, so I think that, with the expectations set there, having any problems would be so much harder.) Plus I love just sitting and cuddling the baby and being cheesy lovey-dovey (“I love your little ears; I love your little nose; I love your little feet. . .”) It’s gross, I’m sure, but it’s nice, too – I imagine that would be near impossible with a toddler around, though.

        I definitely always said no only children, but in some ways, it’s scarier than the initial one child thing.

        1. Not a mom but this is how my parents talked about me (an only). My dad told my mom that he’d only want another if they could have another girl and he could stay home with us for the first year (his company went bust a few months after I was born so he was a SAHD for awhile). This, combined with demanding jobs and limited finances, meant that I’m an only.

    3. I have 3 kids that are now 13, 11 and almost 8. My youngest was born the September my oldest started Kindergarten when I was working p/t from home. It was tough. I found the transition from 1 to 2 nbd, but 2 to 3 was difficult.

      However, that transition period only lasted a few months. ds#3 was a very, very easygoing baby, especially when compared to his older brothers. And now that they are older, I love having 3. My boys all get along really well – the most friction generally being between the oldest & youngest. I love seeing their friendships with each other develop. I love seeing them learn & grow up. I’m so glad we didn’t stop with 2.

      When our youngest was about 2 I went back to work f/t and it was a little tough juggling, but we managed. Ds#3 spent a couple of years in a day home, and then a year or so in a daycare, and then back to a day home when he was in half day kindergarten. Now when dh is working we don’t worry at all about afterschool care. It’s nice.

      We do find, however, that the older the kids get the busier things are – sporting events, social events, dr appts, and trying to balance & schedule everything can be tricky. However, dh’s job has been inconsistent & we made the joint decision to have him be a sahd and that relieves alot of the family stress scheduling causes. We are very grateful my job pays enough and we live frugally enough (ie, small house, older cars, rarely eat out) that we can do it.

      Sometimes 3 kids can be inconvenient. Not all hotels allow 5 in a room. A sedan won’t fit 3 kids comfortably once they get to be a certain age. When you go out to things as a family 5 tickets can be expensive. But we like it. :)

      1. Perhaps we are crazy, but we have been semi-looking for a car for about a year but have held off mostly because we had not decided this issue and didn’t want to buy a car that would possibly be obsolete with the addition of a third child. Now that we are close to taking that plunge, we have been obsessively noticing minivans every time we are on the road. I never thought I’d come to a point where I’d be coveting minivans, but here I am… My seventeen-year-old self, who only wanted a coop on the UWS, would be appalled.

    4. i am one of 5 kids, and my mom always says that 3 kids is the tipping point and it’s all the same level of crazy after that… not that helpful but interesting.

    5. We have three and I found it harder to go from 2 to 3, than from one to two. We have heard it explained as going from man-to-man defense to zone and that is totally true. We were outnumbered! But (obviously) we love all three children and couldn’t imagine not having our youngest. It is true that we were kind of in the thick of baby-stuff and so that transition was not as difficult. But trying to take three small children anywhere alone is hard. Our youngest is now almost three and I finally feel like it is getting a little easier.

      1. Thanks for this. We are in the midst of the conversation about a third–I’m all for it, and he’s not quite on board yet. Has anyone had 2, and then adopted a third one?

        1. Not exactly the same situation, but my aunt and uncle had their oldest and then, because of fertility issues, adopted a boy from Korea and then, a few years later, adopted another.

          She’s said that for them, the conversation they had about adopting their third was basically a conversation about having another child. The big difference, she said, is that the adoption process can be very, very complicated, and that there are often long waits, other people involved, and while it can be so rewarding (they love their kids so much, and they really are fantastic children) it can also be very disappointing. Not sure if that’s helpful.

          1. That is helpful. We are gathering information now, and baffled/slightly overwhelmed by the complexity. We haven’t figured out if it is the right route for us, and if so, whether international or domestic makes sense, and if international, which country. In addition all those factors (long wait, other people and other agendas involved, potential disappointment), we wonder about the effect on our existing children. Would they be resentful? Would there be more than the normal level of sibling rivalry? How do families like that handle cultural or personality clashes? There are so many open questions. We aren’t motivated by infertility issues, so we have some options on how to have a third join us.

    6. Ladies, thanks for your thoughts. I think this might be one of those situations that is completely family-specific–Anon @ 5:12, the defense analogy is one that I’ve used a lot myself. Because of a new job for DH when No.2 was born, I felt like I was already doing zone defense (he wasn’t really around for many of those early months). Thanks and thanks to CKB’s insights–I also was struck by the long view CKB mentions. Part of my desire for a third is realizing how quickly my two kids have grown up, and they’re still young. I guess now that I’m emerging from the trough of babies/toddlers I realize how quickly that passes by, and thinking that as rough as it may be it’s worth muscling through those hard months because kids are awesome.

      And yes, I fear the surprise twins. A bizarrely high number of people I went to high school with were twins (five sets in one grade of 350) and now that we’re having kids many–most with no family predisposition to twins–have had twins. It totally scares me. Were that to happen to me, I’d seriously consider going Erin Brockovich to figure out which company’s pollutants caused the freakishly high twins rate and make my fortune suing the pants off them ;-)

    7. I’ll let you know in a few weeks. Number 3 is due end of the month. My first two are twins, so I can’t comment on the 1 to 2 transition. We went 0 to 2, and my expectation is that adding a third won’t be too big of a deal. It’s possible I’m deluding myself.

    8. I have 3 about the spread you are contemplating (mine are 7, 5, and 2.5 yrs). It is chaos and exhausting, but I am glad everyday that we didn’t stop at 2. We debated it for a loooooonnnng time, but now I can’t imagine my world without #3 (who is not easy but keeps everything very light because she is so entertaining). Both my husband and I are full-time physicians. We have a terrific daytime (not live-in) nanny that helps make it work. (We pay her handsomely and she is worth every penny.) It does take a tremendous amount of team-spirit and coordination between my husband and me to thread all of the day to day needles. (We are both academic, so a fair bit of travel…those nights are hard). It really depends on your capacity to let go of perfection and control to some extent…with 3 there are just a lot of moving parts and letting go a bit can be challenging for hard-driving over-achieving gals.

      1. I have four kids. And work full time. And hubby works full time. We are busy. Most days, it’s organized chaos. It’s expensive. I do 15-20 loads of laundry a week. My calendar has zero empty days. I have sat through hundreds of sporting practices. I need two grocery carts for the weekly shopping. But you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. :) With a good teammate and a commitment to family, it is very rewarding.

  11. I’m in need of a dutch oven and all the options are overwhelming! I think I’ve narrowed it down to an enameled cast iron, but does anyone have any specific brand recommendations. The reviews seem to be a bit all over the place and I’m wondering if the hype is worth Le Cruset/Staab or if Lodge or some other brand will work.

    Thanks!

    1. I love my LC. You can get them at the outlets and at HomeGoods/TJMaxx/flash sales if you are flexible on color. I like the light colored enamel on the inside so I can see the color of the food better. I think some of the other brands have darker interiors if that sort of thing matters to you.

      1. This. I have LC in several sizes and if you just stalk your local Homegoods/LC outlet store, you can get a great deal. I think I paid around $80-120 for mine (small to large). I love them. I’ve had them for about five years and they still look like new and everything does taste better in them. My mom had hers much, much longer and same thing.

        That said, I have a friend who is very happy with her Martha Stewart Macy’s dutch oven. I can’t compare and I think that if you get a good deal on the LC, it is much better because you know it will last decades, but just FYI.

      2. Third that – even meals that come from a box taste better in it. It’s really a wonderful pot.

    2. My mom has a blue Le Creuset dutch oven that she has had for about 40 years now, and they use it pretty much on a weekly basis if not more often. And it is still in amazing condition. I am a super LC fan and I can’t wait till I can afford to buy myself all the pieces I want.

    3. We have a Lodge Dutch oven and I’m perfectly happy with it. We’ve only had it about three years, and use it maybe once a month, so I can’t say yet whether it’s the same kind of workhorse you hear of Le Creuset being, but I’m happy with it so far.

      1. I heart Lodge. I grew up with a Lodge dutch oven and we used it for everything – popcorn, spaghetti sauce, bread, stews (I could keep going on like the shrimp guy in Forest Gump but I won’t). It still lives and works at my dad’s house. I have one now and it is the best. I’ve never seen the need for a LC but do what makes you happy!

      2. We have a Lodge too. I like it. My husband has never quite gotten it through his head that you aren’t supposed to use metal on it, so it does have a fair number of scratches. We’ve had it for probably 4 or 5 years and it cooks very nicely. Switch out the knob if you buy the Lodge. The one it comes with is only oven safe to 400 degrees. We read a review that suggested buying a LC knob and switching it out, and now we can put it in the oven at any temp. To be honest, I don’t recall whether we’ve used it above 400 degrees, but I like that we don’t have to think about whether it will be safe in the oven or not.

    4. More love for LC. I’ve had it for about three years now and it is almost constantly in use – especially in winter with all of the soup/braising. I honestly don’t think I’ll ever need to purchase another dutch oven in that size again in my life making it a few hundred dollars well spent, IMO.

    5. I have a Le Creuset French oven (the oval) and I love it! Nothing works as well for braises in the oven or even for spaghetti sauce or chili or anything that might stick. Go actually look at them. I thought I wanted a bigger one but I don’t think I could have lifted it, especially full. I have the 5 qt. I got it at an LC outlet and it was a great deal.

    6. So, I’ll caveat that I don’t have any of the brands you mention but I covet a Staub. Here are the ratings from Cook’s Illustrated (2007) and FYI Cook’s has let me down on some of their product reviews recently, but overall they do give pretty good recommendations, just followup with your own research to verify.

      Recommended:
      All-Clad Stainless 8qt Stockpot (meh, I’d want iron, not stainless)

      Best Heavier Choice:
      Le Creuset 7 1/4-Quart Round French Oven

      Best Buy:
      Lodge Color Enamel 6-Quart Dutch Oven

      1. I also agree with NOLA above that the 7 quart is bigger than almost anyone needs. My parents have cooked for 4 regularly, and even bigger meals, in the 5 quart, and it is plenty big enough. The 7q is so heavy and I think it is very rare that you would actually need that much volume.

        1. Yes – definitely look at them in person. I was surprised at how huge the 13 1/4 quart is (and how little I know about volume).

        2. You know, looking at Chef’s Catalog, I’m wondering if what I have is the 6 3/4 qt. oval. What I remember was thinking that I would want the biggest one then actually being in the store and looking at it and lifting it and deciding on the next size down. I think the big one is 9 or 9 1/2. Huge!

        3. LOL – I’m the one who posted above about having 4 kids – I have the 7 1/4 LC. I use it every day. Literally, every day, I use the LC. It’s heavy, but so durable, and perfect for us. I love it.

        4. I use my 7 quart all the time. And I have an 8 quart one as well (not LC, some off brand I found in TJMaxx for $35.). I frequently have both of them both bubbling away on the stove, or one in the oven and one on the range. I cook for 4 on a day-to-day basis, but 2 are teen aged bottomless pits. I do a lot of double up cooking to freeze a meal for later in the month, or making meals to drop off to family members.

          I had a 4 qt when it was just dh and I cooking for 2 and it overflowed frequently.

      2. There is an update to these recommendations in the new Cook’s Illustrated issue. I don’t remember what it is, because I have two LCs and love them both.

        1. I didn’t even see the small print! “Update: April 2013. Tramontina has discontinued our Best Buy Dutch oven and plans to relaunch it in the fall with a new design. Our Best Buy recommendation is now the Lodge Color Enamel 6-Quart Dutch Oven.”

    7. If you want an enameled cast iron, I say just get the Le Creuset. I’ve had mine since 2009 and use it all the time. I have the 3 quart size, I believe. Perfect for sauces, coq au vin, curry, fried rice, chicken stock, rissoto, etc.

      I also love my Staubs. I heat stuff in them, make brunch eggs, rice, etc. I have various sizes and love them all.

      Unless you have a large family, I find the biggest one gets the lease use, but I also live in Manhattan and the big one lives above my cabinets.

      I also got mine at an outlet and paid around $110.

      One downside is that my LC has not been the same since I made the no-knead bread in it. The enamel on the inside lost its lustre.

  12. I live in Texas and we have Board Certification in certain practice areas. I am at a mid-size firm and am lucky to get to practice in several different areas. One of those areas is one where it is looked very highly upon to be board certified. My boss has mentioned to me that I should consider it, but I am concerned that if I do, I will be pigeon holed into that area. But, I also recognize the utility in becoming very good at something. I love my current firm and and varied areas of practice, and have been practicing five years.
    FWIW, this is not a matter of just taking a test, I would have to meet some other specific requirements before I could even sit for the exam (certain number of jury trials, for example).

    1. I formerly practiced in an area where certification was fairly common, and actually passed the test before switching to a different practice area. I think both you and your boss are correct – it is a value add but does pigeon-hole you a bit. I’ve talked with a number of people about this topic, and those who wanted a more general practice tended to not do the certification because then clients may not want to hire you for other types of work. So you may want to evaluate your goals, and whether staying with this firm will work out long term because if your boss wants you to specialize he may really be indicating that the firm wants you to focus primarily on that area and you may not get as much variety as you have been getting regardless of whether you do the certification.

  13. Another request for help shopping. I’m so overwhelmed by the options out there for shampoo/conditioner. I have straight fine/medium hair, but lots of it – I generally wash it about twice a week and I never use heat styling/blow it dry. Any recommendations?

    1. If you want drugstore, I really like L’Oreal EverPure line. No sulfates, etc and you can choose the line best for your hair (volume, strengthening, etc). My hair is really dry and I liked it, but I recently switched to Neuma Moisturizing and it is AMAZING. Super expensive though, so if you can get by with the drugstore version, save your money.

    2. My hair sounds similar to yours. My favorite brand (Halo) doesn’t exist anymore and I haven’t been able to find anything else I like as much.

      I’ve been using the Aveeno naturals (nourish and moisturize, I think) and its been pretty good. I’d love to hear other suggestions too though!

    3. I have similar hair, and I use Pantene Pro-V (the classic formula). When my hair gets too dry, a leave-in conditioner like Paul Mitchell’s The Conditioner really helps.

  14. Sorry to pile on, but I’d love to hear the collective wisdom on moving from 1 to 2, too. DH really wants one, and I’m reluctant. Partly because kid1 is finally easier to manage, I’m getting more sleep, and feel we can enjoy a semblance of the life we used to lead pre kid1.
    I worry that kid2 will just mean I can’t go to the bathroom without someone pounding at the door and bawling for another 2 more years. We both work full time and it can be stressful at times, especially when kid1 gets sick, etc.

    1. Every single kid is a lot of work. If you’re hesitant, please don’t rush into things. One of the main issues to consider going from 1 to 2 is how important you feel it is for your child to have a sibling?

      If you are unsure how to proceed, and especially if there is no major rush age-wise or fertility-wise, take a year or so to decide. If you start looking wistfully at little babies (and if your stress level decreases), you can always reconsider.

    2. I was terrified about going from 1 to 2. And yes, the first few months were tough (#2 was colicky for 3 months), but it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be at all, and now that they are a little older (see my above post) I love seeing their relationship and love that they have a built in friend whenever we move or go somewhere. Really, when you’re in the thick of it, those young baby/toddler/preschool ages seem to drag on, but looking back now I can’t believe how short they are, and that we are on the short side of having kids at home. It’s kind of scary, actually.

    3. No experience parenting any number of children, but I’m an only child and I’d like to put in my pitch for having a second kid. It might be different if you child has cousins close in age who are often around, but holidays were really lonely when I was little. It was just a bunch of adults and me. I happened to go to private school and my classmates all lived in other towns, so there was also the fact that playing with other kids always required lots of advance planning, meaning I spent a lot of time playing by myself. As I got older, I missed having another kid in the family to talk to about our parents. As an adult, I started to realize that my parents would be gone one day and, unless I got married and had my own kids, I would be all alone in the world. Sure, I have friends, but especially as you get into your late 20s, friends tend to turn inward toward their families. In my mid-thirties, I’m now starting to worry about how my husband and I are alone in being there to take care of my parents as they get older. Plus, I feel like I want to have even more kids myself because my children won’t have any cousins around. Other only children may have very different experiences. I have a friend who’s an only child but who has lots of cousins her own age, and it seems like those cousins have taken the place of siblings in her life. My cousins, however, are all much older than I am. My MIL is also an only child, and is much younger than her cousins, and her experience has been very similar to mine. But there are other people who may be perfectly happy as onlies. And, of course, having a baby out of guilt is not a terribly good idea. But just wanted to provide some input from the perspective of an only.

      1. I have seen some of my older only cousins deal with aging parents, and it definitely a challenge. One of my cousins lives out West while her parents are still in the Midwest. She’s had to fly back and forth much of this year, helping an ill parent while also raising her two children. Her husband has been a huge support, but it hasn’t been easy. She’s moving back to her hometown this fall.

        Otoh, I’m one of 4 and my siblings are my closest friends. I talk to them almost every day, by phone, skype, im and facetime. We vacation together and always go home for Christmas, even though most of us live in different countries. We have weathered various storms together and I am confident that we will work together and support each other through our parents’ eventual aging and deaths.

      2. +1
        As an only, I feel very strongly about making sure a kid has a sibling. The sibling relationship is one that I just will never understand and that really bums me out. That, along with the eventual loneliness that will come when my parents are gone, makes it an easy choice for me, even though I’m still a few years out from TTC. I also agree on contemplating more than 2 because they won’t have any cousins on my side.

      3. Very belated response, but I agree with this! I’m not a parent yet, and probably won’t be for quite some time (unless I’m in for a big surprise in the next couple years), but I feel very strongly about making sure any child of mine has siblings.

        My fiance is an only child and I’m one of three. I know that every only child has his or her own experiences, but I will say that there are a few things we butt heads on, in particular sharing of space. Granted, his mother dotes on him to an enormous degree, even now, and she is very sweet, but she’s always indulged everything he wants (i.e. paying for a ridiculously large water heater so he could take hour-long showers and not run out of hot water), whereas I grew up in a house where, if you were in the shower for longer than 10-15 minutes, my mother would be shouting through the door that my brother/sister/dad/mom needed to use it. In general, he’s all about the two of us sharing our things and having “our” home…we split expenses pretty fairly…but he’s not so great about sharing space. (This has a lot to do with the way his mother raised him, as well.)

        He was in no need of love, not by any means, and his mother is sweet and absolutely adores him, but he has said that his childhood was lonely. His parents went through a really terrible divorce when he was young and had to deal with it alone. When his father died when he was a teenager, he had to simultaneously mourn and take care of his mom. He’s said he really wishes he had someone to cry with or spend time with instead of being surrounded by adults all the time.

        I’m the oldest, and so I was an only child very briefly, and I honestly can’t imagine my life without my siblings. I got to call my sister yesterday and ask her to be my maid of honor…that was such an amazing moment. My sister and brother are my best friends, and I can’t imagine having a child and not giving him or her siblings.

        1. I’m very late to this thread, but I wanted to throw in a different point of view. I have a sibling, and while we’re friends as adults, we’re not super close. We try to be, but we’re just not. We’ll probably never have those amazing sister moments everyone talks about. I know I’m not the only one who has this type of relationship with thier siblings. I just wanted to point out that giving a kid a sibling doesn’t guarantee they will have a close relationship. I’m definitely closer and rely more on a handful of friends than my sister.

    4. Don’t feel rushed to have your 2nd. We ended up waiting 5 years to have a 2nd baby (not necessarily by design), but it’s been pretty great. My older child was quite self-sufficient and even a little helpful by that point. I wasn’t sure if they’d play together, but they do, and my older child is a bit a “mentor.” Sweet to watch. I’m sure there’s much to be said for being done with the diaper stage sooner, but personally I think having an infant and toddler together would have been much more of a challenge.

    5. I thought 0 to 1 was much more difficult than 1 to 2. Having a kid means no more impromptu trips or late-night dinners out; it means being prepared (esp during diapering years) EVERY TIME you leave the house. It’s an increased expense and loss of freedom. My kids are 2 years apart, and the closeness in age kinda meant 4 years of not sleeping through the night (both were not good sleepers as babies; they’re both good now).

      But now that my second kid is about to transition out of diapers, we are golden. And believe it or not, I find two kids easier than one. I have more uninterrupted conversations with DH than I used to, because the kids are playing happily together. It’s also fun for us to each take one kid aside for special play-time or an outing.

      My best friend has an only, and that child might be better at playing by herself, but is needier overall, if that makes sense.

      1. I have several friends that have virtually zero relationship with their siblings as adults, and as we get into the aging parent situation, the differences in opinions of what each sibling thinks the others ought to be doing/providing can destroy relationships that do exist. I’m not saying, don’t have more kids because someday they might hate each other.

        I am saying, do not have more kids *just* because you think your kid needs a sibling. You have NO idea what will happen down the road. If that’s just one on a long list of positives, great. But if you really only want one, there is nothing wrong with only having one.

        1. I have to agree with Aon – don’t have additional children because you think they’ll be BFFs or because it’ll make caring for you easier. It might work out that way – it might not. Don’t engage in magical thinking!

          My brother and I aren’t close, have never been close, and this despite having a large extended family with lots of examples of very close siblings, ahd parents with multiple close siblings. Dealing with our parents’ death, it would have been easier for me as an only – both practically and emotionally (on the other hand, he would have then had to step up – so maybe he’s glad he has a younger sister who was tasked with being executor).

          1. I agree. I’m the oldest of four (two are significantly younger than me) but my brother and I are only 15 months apart and have never been close. As adults, we have nothing in common and are happy to chat for 20 minutes once or twice a year when I see him, but have essentially no relationship other than that. We don’t dislike each other, just have absolutely nothing in common and no reason to have any contact. My youngest sibling is 16 years younger than me so I think we are still a long way from any hope of being friends.

  15. Having weird technical issues again. Had to refresh several times to see all of the comments and my name didn’t stick. Hmmm….

  16. How do you deal with neighbors you dislike when you see them on a regular basis? For example, one of mine backed into my (parked!) car and then freaked out when I asked for her insurance, just in case there was any internal damage (turns out there wasn’t). By “freaked out” I mean yelling, insulting me, insulting my car, trying to blame me for parallel parking within three feet of her car, etc. She’s much older and seemingly half crazy, so I just let it go. But obviously we were still neighbors the next morning. What do you all do when something like this happens, assuming you were never close friends in the first place?

    1. i would have called the police if this had happened to me with the car. ain’t nobody got time for that kind of behavior. otherwise, be cordial while avoiding them, maybe talk to your landlord. some people are just cray cray.

    2. We have some legitimately crazy neighbors (as in my boyfriend & I moved in and our 65-year old neighbor made a point of stopping by on our move-in day to lay out the “ground rules” of living next to him – complete quiet, doesn’t want to see or hear anyone, etc. Mind you that it’s an apartment complex with shared walls – good luck with pretending you don’t have neighbors!).

      I was really irritated by them at first, but basically have decided to “kill them with kindness”. I make a point of being really pleasant but keeping my distance and just grinning and bearing it. At least this way, they can’t say anything bad about me, and any bad behavior on their part is solely a reflection on them. It’s awkward but I try to make the best of it. :/

    3. Where the other party is the one who overreacted/behaved inappropriately, I do cold but non-confrontational, passively inviting an apology. I generally find that my tolerance for the chill outlasts their ability to avoid apologizing, since they probably had a moment of shame or embarrassment after the incident and desire forgiveness.

    4. I am on the flip side of this. We seem to have one neighbor who hates us… not sure why. When she first moved in, I took her brownies and introduced ourselves and the dogs met each other. If we are ever on the back porch or back yard and she comes out with her dogs (on a leash since her yard isn’t 100% fenced), she takes them around to the front. Same with the front. Doesn’t matter if our dog is outside or not. She will not say hello unless we say something first. It’s just weird.

  17. So, there’s a person who works in my team who almost always leaves at 5:30pm. Could set a clock by him, or so I thought.

    I sent him an email 5 min ago at 6:02pm, asking him to do [X], so that he’d get it first thing in the morning. He was super busy today and I didn’t want this particular request weighing on him. Imagine my surprise when he suddenly appeared in my cube 2 minutes ago all flustered saying, “I just saw your e-mail! But I can’t get [X] done right now….”

    Me: “no, I’d meant for you to see that first thing tomorrow morning. Go home, enjoy your evening.”

    Ugh. I’m unwittingly turning into the Evil Boss Who Sends You A Project Just As You’re Ready To Leave.

  18. I had a baby a month ago and throughout my pregnancy, my mother in law asked how much weight I had gained. I tried to brush it off by responding – within normal range, etc. Now, she’s asking every time we see her if I’ve lost the weight. It’s so annoying. I would love advice as to how to respond …

    1. UGH! I would say “punch her in the face” but I am assuming that is not what you meant.

      Honestly, this is so beyond rude, and she’s been doing it for so long, I would go way beyond subtle. “Oh, I’m not counting. How much weight did YOU lose this week?” But im a b1tch, so i understand if you don’t want to use that. ;o)

    2. How about, “My doctor hasn’t given me any reason to be worried about my weight. Do you know something he / she doesn’t?” Or “May I ask why you seem concerned about my weight? I’m not, and neither was the doctor at my last visit.”

      1. Or you could mention to her that you have so many important things to worry about with an infant that you can’t imagine being concerned with something as trivial as your appearance.

        Also, sorry that you’re having to deal with this. It must hurt when she makes comments. I hope her sh*tty attitude isn’t spoiling new motherhood for you!

        1. This. I dunno but it seems weird that a husband wouldn’t do this for his wife. Especially a wife who just gave birth.

    3. I never see the point in being super polite to really rude people. How about “wow. Did you really just ask me that? My weight is none of your business. Excuse me, I have to go change the baby”.

      1. Seriously. Tell her she is being intrusive and rude, and you have no intention of telling her about your weight, ever. She may get huffy, but if she is old enough to be a grandmother, she is old enough to know better than to behave like this.

        1. No, what you’re describing is appeasement. Look how well it worked out for Neville Chamberlain.

          This is the kind of excuse that weak people make all the time to justify their continued complicity in letting bullies roll over them. Let’s stop pretending now, shall we?

          1. Godwin’s Law strikes again! I assume in your analogy, the mother-in-law is Hitler? Appeasing the Nazis and trying not to create ill-will with your mother-in-law are EXACTLY THE SAME.

          2. @Lilypad

            The point stands. The ill-will has already been created. I don’t know why people don’t realize this.

            Don’t let jerks make you think that your standing up to them and telling them to cut it out will “create ill will.” That’s jiu-jitsu and it’s BS.

            But I guess some people like checking the box and saying they have a relationship with [so and so relative] just because of that relative’s official title (grandmother, MIL, FIL, whatevers), even though that person is a jerk and the relationship is godawful. Hey, good luck with that.

    4. This is where I’d bust out an oldie but goodie like “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you!”

    5. You had the baby a month ago and she’s asking?! What about “I can’t believe you keep asking me about my weight, be careful or you’re going to give me a complex!” (followed by slight laugh, head shake, pleasant, slightly baffled expression)

    6. Questions like this make me so happy that I’m single, in-laws sound like a nightmare.

      1. Yes. This. Another plus is having a boyfriend who’s parents are just as far away as mine and who is not super-excited about having kids.

    7. Why are you so concerned about it? Did you have a hard time about that after was born? How long did it take you??
      And if you’re really annoyed: I see you’re much fatter now than you were at my age..

    8. Definitely second Zora’s comment about asking your significant other to ask his mother to stop asking you about it. I had to do this with my husband’s aunt who wouldn’t stop asking when we were having children. (We struggled with infertility, which we kept private, and also had a horrific pregnancy loss, which she also didn’t know about.) Make him handle it- it’s his mother.

  19. Hive! I just got an email that Blue Apron is officially in my area! They sent me a 30% off coupon. Is that a pretty good deal or should I look around for better coupons.

    Also, on the mortgage front – I just got a clear to close on a refi / debt consolidation for my mortgage, 3.75%, which is getting rid of almost all of my higher interest debt and keeping my mortgage payment the same – but which puts me into a 15 year loan instead of a 30.

    I would rather have saved my husband the $500/month he is paying for commercial space by getting the garage/office done (and saved myself about another $500/month on the mortgage payment) by renovating the garage now, but we’ll just stick with this for another, oh, 2 years or so until all of the debt except the mortagage, including the student loans, is gone. Then we can do the whole project at once and have the mortgage be our only debt. I’m sure this is better, but I also would have liked to stop parking our cars in the driveway / on the street.

  20. Does anyone here have a knomo lola laptopbag or a coach bleecker legacy business tote in leather? I hate carrying 2 bags and I’ll most definitely have to carry my laptop everyday when I start my new job. Any thoughts on those 2 bags?

Comments are closed.