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- Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I know I say this a lot, but I really, truly, actually love this dress. Sleeves! A ladylike length AND neckline! A “dry clean” instruction instead of “dry clean only” instruction, meaning I'd probably risk throwing it in my washing machine on delicate and then air drying.
And that waist… LOVE those details. It strikes me as really cool, really flattering, and really classic.
And it's $108 at Nordstrom in sizes 2-16. Awesome. Ellen Tracy Ponte Knit Sheath Dress
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
Some of the best dresses for work as of 2024 include options from J.Crew, BOSS, T. Tahari, and Lands' End. For really affordable options, check out Quince and Amazon sellers Miusol or MUXXN. We've also rounded up the best plus-size dresses for work!
2016 Update: This dress is now in our Workwear Hall of Fame! Every season it keeps coming out in new sizes and colors, and it's stayed just as affordable and versatile as ever. It's fully lined, machine washable, and available in regular and petite sizes 2-16. 12/19 Update: While it's less available than it once was, I see enough readers STILL recommending this dress (!) that I'm putting it back in the Hall of Fame because I always loved this dress also. Try this link at Amazon to see the selection; there are lots of lucky sizes and colors left.
Sales of note for 11.5.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 25% off with your GAP Inc. credit card
- Bloomingdales is offering gift cards ($20-$1200) when you spend between $100-$4000+. The promotion ends 11/10, and the gift cards expire 12/24.
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Fall clearance event, up to 85% off
- J.Crew – 40% off fall favorites; prices as marked
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – New sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Buy one, get one – 50% off everything!
- White House Black Market – Holiday style event, take 25% off your entire purchase
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Brogues
The comment about brogues got me thinking, has anyone found a good pair of brown brogues recently that they’d recommend? I’m thinking for more casual wear. Thanks!
Anonymous
I don’t know if these are considered brogues, but I have the neon cap toe Otavi’s and I adore them.
http://www.brothervellies.com/marketplace/
The plainer styles are awesome, too. The brown suede Otavi is calling my name!
KC
The neon cap toe ones are amazing! Now I really want a pair.
emeralds
Those are really cute. At a lower price point, I was drooling over these last night in the Black Lux (I know I said brogues aren’t my style in that thread, but maybe I’m changing my mind):
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/bed-stu-lita-flat/3355835?origin=keywordsearch
Dulcinea
Boden has some great ones, I can’t go get you a link right now. I don’t think they actually call them brogues ( I always thought this type of shoe was called an “oxford” or “wingtip”). The Boden ones have neon laces contrasting with the sedate color of the shoe; I like the look but for work I would switch the laces to neutral colored ones.
preg anon
Gorgeous.
Has anyone here bought a Costco memory foam mattress? My understanding (from my husband’s investigation) is that you can’t lay on them in store, but they have a really good return policy, so you can return it if you don’t like it. We’re thinking of risking it because it’s so much cheaper than other memory foam mattresses, and we generally like everything Costco. Any thoughts?
rosie
How did you decide you wanted a memory foam mattress? Have you had one before? Have you looked into chemical safety issues? (I’m not asking any of these questions to make you change your mind, I’m genuinely curious and in the market for a new mattress myself.)
preg anon
My parents have one, and I love it. We also went to some mattress stores to try them out and definitely favored the memory foam ones. But the Tempurpedic are so so expensive, so I feel like it’s at least worth trying the Costco one.
L
No experience with the Costco mattress, but what I’d suggest is looking up the specs of it online and go to another store and lay on something similar. The difference between 3″ and 4″ memory foam is actually quite different, so you could get a feel for what you like. That said, Costco’s return policy is amazing (I returned fruit the other day that went bad days after we bought it). I am a Costco evangelist.
Matilda
I want to be a Costco convert — mostly I just like the idea of patronizing a “big box” store whose employment practices get such good press! However, I live alone, so I’m not convinced that the economics of it make any sense for me. Any thoughts on that?
Not a lawyer
When I lived alone, then when I lived with Husband (no kids), I was a Costco member and found many, many things that still made sense. I always justified purchases there as “things I will never not need”- toilet paper, shampoo/ conditioner, feminine products, some OTC medicines, coffee (!!), frozen veg, bread (stick one loaf in the freezer), cereal, etc. on top of those things, they have a rotating variety of clothes, small household appliances, bake/ dish ware, furniture that are all top quality. Their return policy is excellent- no questions asked. I could go on and on, but I would argue that even for a single person living alone, you will quickly recoup the $50 membership fee in savings.
eek
Sometimes I’ll split the things I buy with my parents like toilet paper and paper towel. I also try to purchase gas there. Many of the things I purchase are non-perishable items, so it’s just a matter of storing the items. And, of course, their return policy is very good. I bought my TV from Costco because they double the manufacturer’s warranty.
BankrAtty
Totally agree with @Not a lawyer. Add to this list: garbage bags, britta filters, and wine. I also cook a lot with canned tomatoes and chicken stock, so I try to buy my supplies in bulk. Costco has some frozen, wild caught fish that is individually portioned that is a great value (at my store, corvina, mahi mahi, flounder, and sometimes salmon). I also never have any problem going through an entire container of fresh spinach before it spoils… but it’s possible I eat a lot of spinach!
Ellen
Sam keep’s talking about his Temperpedic matress, like somehow I want to sleep over! I said ONLEY with Myrna, not him, but now that I know he pick’s his nose, why in the WORLD would I want to sleep on that matress or those pillow’s knowing that there were old booger’s stuck all OVER the place? FOOEY!
Also, dad says Sam could have come out on Sunday, and then driven ME back to the City, but b/c I said no, Dad had to drive me back, b/c I did NOT want to carry the Roast Beef Mom made for me on the LIRR and then have to cab it back uptown with all my other stuff. So big deal, dad had to drive me. He could have left me off in the first place Friday nite, but he is still annoyed that he got caught in beach traffic. Not my fault, dad. Fooey back to you!
Anyway, I am still stumped over this swap stuff. It is so strange that they just did something and now want to swap it for something else? Why didn’t they just do that to begin with? Myrna says it’s easy, but I do NOT know what she is talkeing about. At times like these, I could use Alan to get the answer’s for me. Doubel Fooey b/c he would not help me now even tho I did so much for him. Fooey on him, and on me for being his vassal.
Ulea
Ellen, here is a good intro to interest rate swaps. Once you read this, you should have a pretty good understanding of what is going on. Then, you should talk to Myrna or someone in her company about a follow-on education session. If the managing partner is willing to spend a few bucks, there are courses in NY given by PLI and ISDA that you can enroll in which will supplement your knowledge base. Good luck!
http://www.pimco.com/EN/Education/Pages/InterestRateswapsBasics1-08.aspx
SoCalAtty
I use it for all of the things already mentioned (just the husband, no kids), as well as rice, sugar, salt, and spices. I keep them in large airtight buckets with lids. I never have the problem of running out of any of those, and I have started watching the prices of sugar and rice climb steadily for some time. We actually had a “rice ration” here in California recently, and the price went up at least 30%. Not that the difference is a big deal when it is $13 versus $10, but the stuff never goes bad (as long as properly stored) and we’re also then well prepared for a major earthquake.
EC MD
Tangentially, we were unhappy with our current mattress but are planning to move up to a king size when we move in early ’14. I bought a 100 dollar memory foam mattress topper from Costco to see if we could salvage it and have never slept better. I didn’t think I liked memory foam, but it sleeps really well and was a great buy for the price. Just something else to consider
preg anon
Interesting. Unfortunately, we have to buy a king size so that won’t work for us. I’d love to save the money! But maybe that means the Costco mattresses would be good too.
mascot
Target has a king-sized foam topper for $100-150ish that we like. It’s supposed to be a stay cool and I think Threshold is the line. We weren’t ready to shell out money for a whole new mattress set (nor were we completely sure about foam) and this serving as a nice experiment.
LF
That is also what I did and we love the mattress topper.
Vintage Lawyer
Yes. My husband and I have had a Costco king-sized memory foam mattress for several years and have been very happy with it. We’ve talked several friends and relatives into getting them and have heard nothing but raves.
Anon1234
I can’t speak to Costco, but we nabbed one of these Amazon memory foam mattresses when we needed a new mattress on the cheap. They’re so inexpensive, we thought, “Hey, even if it only lasts for 6 months, we’re not out much.”
http://www.amazon.com/Sleep-Innovations-10-inch-Memory-Mattress/dp/B003CT37JM
My husband LOVES it and thinks it’s the greatest bed ever. I’m fine with it – I’ve slept on real TempurPedics and sort of shrugged about them too. But it’s definitely comfortable and I have no complaints whatsoever. We liked it well enough that we bought a second one to replace an old guest room mattress. Friends who stayed in that guest room liked it enough to buy one for their guest room.
We’ve had it now for a year with no quality problems.
Cb
I love the waist on this, so pretty!
emeralds
Agreed. It’s really cute and classic, but the waist gives it some nice visual interest. Alas, it feels like I only own black dresses…
hellskitchen
This is precisely the reason I am not immediately buying this dress
TravelMoreRoads
Agreed! Sleeves, waist, washable, and from Nordstrom, one of the places I like shopping online because their follow-up customer service is so great just in case there’s an issue. And this one does look like it would travel pretty well. Thanks Kat!
Veronique
+1. And it looks like it might even work for us pears, since it isn’t completely straight up and down.
AIMS
Just a word of warning: I bought a Ellen Tracy ponte skirt in what looks like similar material and it pilled after one wear (particularly on the side where my plain leather handbag hit) and became really grotty looking after 4-5.
tesyaa
I would be worried about pilling with most ponte fabrics, especially those that contain 0% cotton.
Anon
I had same problem with an Ellen Tracy ponte dress last year and returned it to Nordstrom after one wear. For $109, that’s what I expect. I’ve found my more expensive ponte pieces do not pill (i.e. Trina Turk).
AK
Do you think it’s still washable even though it’s lined?
Susedna
Probably. I have washed a lot of dresses with linings (cold, delicates cycle setting on the machine) and then air-drying. The lining didn’t shrinks, even though they were mostly synthetic + cotton mixes.
Susedna
“Shrink” – argh! I can’t type. I did iron some of the linings, though. Some got very wrinkly in the wash.
tesyaa
I may have mentioned in an earlier thread that I do not recommend washing a garment with an acetate lining (or any garment containing acetate). It can’t not shrink.
Mpls
Acetate is the one fabric that I would never attempt to wet-wash. It is way too unpredictable.
big dipper
Apartment question. Or two questions, really. I’m moving into my own tiny apartment (no roommates) for the first time and I’m really excited.
(1) My apartment is tiny. For those of you who have lived in NYC/other small apartments – do you have any decorating/organization/lay out tips for making an apartment feel less small? Or for making the best use of the space?
(2) Was there anything about transitioning from roommates to living lone that you found surprising/unexpected/challenging?
Thanks!
Anonymous
Use all the vertical space you can!
Anon in NYC
Agreed on the vertical space. Go to the Container Store and look into the Elfa system. They can really build custom shelving for any space. Take measurements of the space before you go. My husband and I spent a fair bit of money there when we first moved, but it’s been well worth it to have our apartment organized.
Arial 10pt
Stalk Apartment Therapy. There are enough ideas and examples from real people to make your head explode. (I mean that in a good way.) I am constantly shocked at the clever way people make small spaces awesome.
Woods-comma-Elle
I have just moved in on my own and it’s AMAZING!!! Well, four days in, so I may change my mind, but I like my own company and I like doing my own thing, so it works very well for me. The biggest challenge I am having is getting the internet set up, as the phone engineer can only come during a weekday!
Agree re the vertical space, also, those vacuum clothes bags are magic. You can fit in so much awkward stuff like winter coats and sweaters etc.
If you need to buy furniture, multi-use stuff is great, like a coffee table that is really a trunk.
Enjoy!
NOLA
Agreed about the trunk. I had a wicker trunk for a coffee table for years and now I have a distressed wood trunk (better because dust, etc. doesn’t go through and cat barf is hard to clean out of wicker). I store games, photo albums, etc. in the trunk. I also have a TV armoire that allows me to store a lot of things behind closed doors.
goldribbons
+1 to multi-use furniture. Everything you buy should have shelves or drawers (except a kitchen table maybe) — no coffee tables or lamps that just take up floor space!
LizNYC
If you go to IKEA, even your kitchen table can have drawers. http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/20104718/
hellskitchen
1) Use every inch of space you can. Buy a bed that sits higher and fill up the space underneath with underbed storage bags. Go for tall bookcases, invest in closet organizers… the ones that you can hang on doors are great. These are all products that give you more space and don’t require any significant alterations to the apartment. In the kitchen, invest in smaller jars and transfer food items into them and then store bulkier original packaging in the higher cabinets. Same with body wash, shampoo and such if you have a tiny bathroom. Buy clear boxes, bags, jars etc or get a label maker to make it easy to find things. And if you are buying furniture, get double use items – ottoman/coffee table, sofabed. These are some obvious tips but having lived in cramped NYC apts, every inch of space matters.
2) Make plans to go out and meet friends every weekend. Once I started living by myself I’d sometimes go a whole weekend holed up in my apartment especially in the winter. You could also make a standing date to have brunch or even go for a walk by yourself.
Blue
Check out apartmenttherapy dot com. They often have articles on how to maximize a small space.
AIMS
All good tips. Esp. on vertical space and multi use furniture. Install lots of shelves. Buy good plastic boxes for under-bed storage. Get rid of anything you don’t need. Mount what you can to walls (e.g., don’t buy a table lamp, but get a sconce; get a paper towel rack that wall-mounts instead of wasting counter space, etc.). Ikea has some good pieces for this sort of living, too – I remember getting a table that you could mount on the wall and that folded down flat when you weren’t using it for my first apartment.
Sydney Bristow
We have a Gothic Cabinet bed that I think they call a “captain’s bed” or “storage bed” that has drawers and cabinets on both sides of the frame. It’s enough space that if I were living alone I wouldn’t need a dresser. I much prefer it to storage boxes under the bed because it uses every available inch of space.
It also comes in 2 sections, so it’s not as difficult to move into an apartment (building, door, stairs, etc) as you might think.
Also, one of those vertical spring-loaded shower shelf things are great and have more space than most over-the-shower head ones I’ve seen.
Matilda
This. My NYC bedroom was small enough that I had to put my Gothic captain’s bed against the wall, so my roommate and I detached the platform so that it could be lifted up for access to the back drawers. Then I could use the back drawers to store off-season clothes, Christmas decorations, and other things I didn’t need to get to more than once or twice a year.
AIMS
That bed is my dream. But alas I live with someone who just needs to store skis and clubs and g*d knows what else under our bed so we have had to forego.
But now that I am thinking bed storage, Ikea had a fantastic boxspring that opened up for storage. I always wanted to get that. Such a genius idea.
goth bed
I wanted this, but I babysat for a couple who got it for their son, and they said it was very squeaky. Anyone disagree?
AnonBK
Agreed on the vertical space/organization comments. Also, think about what you really need in your apartment/what you really use: do you need a desk? a dining table? a regular size sofa or would you be satisfied with a comfy chair/folding table/working out of the house? Eliminating some of these things can save you space. In general if you can ‘size down’ on your bed, sofa, wardrobe, it will help. Good lighting, paint, and plants can really open up small spaces.
zora
Congrats! i am living alone for the first time and I love it so much!!!
I ditto everything everyone else said so I won’t repeat it. But something I learned from my dad about living in smaller spaces: the scale of your furniture is important. Buy things that are smaller in scale, couch, chairs, etc. And it will help the place feel in proportion and not ‘small.” For example, don’t buy an overstuffed couch with big wide armrests, but something that is lower and has smaller arms and is simpler with cleaner lines. It’s hard to describe, but I second the recommendation to check out Apartment Therapy for ideas and examples. HAVE FUN!! ;o)
a.k.
I *loved* living alone. Even though I love living with my husband, I really cherished having my own space. Take advantage of the freedoms it gives you – listen to music throughout the apartment, leave dishes in the sink if you want, do chores without pants on. Etc.
The one tip I have as you furnish the place is to take detailed measurements of everything and keep them with you (plus a small tape measure, if you have room in your purse). That way if you stumble onto a cool piece, you’ll know if it works without having to go home and measure.
Brooklyn Paralegal
My fiance is traveling all year, so I’m effectively living alone. I’ve always had roommates before, so it’s new for me.
In terms of space: vertical storage for sure. Also, I’ve found that using mirrors really opens rooms up and makes them look a lot more spacious. If your lease allows you to paint your walls, I highly recommend it, if you have the time/money. I have a relatively small apartment (it’s cozy for 2 people, but plenty of space for just me), but I have a TON of stuff. Closet storage has become on of my best friends.
There’s a site called f*ckedinparkslope, I think, and it’s all about making a teensy apartment look really nice. I have a bunch of IKEA furniture, and some of it is truly hideous, and so I’m going to take on a DIY project of refurbishing and painting it to make sense in the apartment. Hanging nice drapes also makes a small place look lovely.
I love living alone because I’m very solitary, so if I’m not spending time with my fiance (the only person I have patience for every day no matter way), I usually prefer to be on my own. I agree with everything a.k. said above! That all being said, I’m a very nervous person, and a total scaredy cat, so falling asleep is tough sometimes because I’m convinced I’m going to open my eyes and see someone standing in my doorway or something. (I watched a ton of horror movies as a kid and didn’t realize the VERY lasting effect they would have on me.)
Lyra Silvertongue
Love the dress, though I must admit, as a busty lady and pendant-devotee, I’d love to see more v-neck dresses of a modest depth and breadth. Vast expanses of fabric covering up my chest just makes it look bigger. Plus these high-scoop/jewel-neck dresses really limit my jewelry selection.
Last Day?
Advice Please! It’s my last day at my summer position. I have read “how to leave with grace and style” but that post says no blast emails saying thank you/I’m leaving? How do I thank and acknowledged those people who I had limited interaction with but still want to thank… 75 handwritten TY notes? If if makes a difference, I was only going to include the department I worked with, not the whole firm. TIA :)
AnonInfinity
When I was a summer associate, I finished all of my work really early in the day and then went around after lunch (usually taking the entire afternoon) and said good bye in person to the people I worked with. I’d just say it was my last day and ask if they had a minute and then I’d say that I enjoyed working at the firm and thank the person for the opportunity. I’d usually try to say something about the work I did specifically for that person if I sincerely enjoyed it or if there was something memorable that happened with us over the summer.
I’d send personal emails to the folks who weren’t in the office when I was making my rounds.
It didn’t take that long, but there were never 75 people (usually 10-15).
Anonymous
Personally, I loathe the “I’m leaving” emails. From summers / interns and attorneys. I would try to spend some time today walking around and personally thanking everyone that you want to thank / say goodbye to.
Anon
Why?
Anonymous
I just think that people come across as insincere and the emails generally follow the same formula.
I can’t think of one that actually worked and I genuinely felt like that person was actually thanking me for working with them.
The only purpose that they serve is to let people who may not be in the loop that you are going, going, gone. I’d much rather have someone say to me personally, “I enjoyed working with you. Lets keep in touch. Here’s my personal email address.”
People left workplaces long before email was ubiquitous and I just don’t feel like in this situation, email has made things better. Sure, its convenient for the sender, but perhaps its the convenience of it that makes them feel so insincere.
Anonymous
Because theyre obnoxious. Even if I thought you were fine or nice, I really don’t give a sh*t that you are leaving.Especially from a summer intern. Write thank you notes to those that helped you (mentor, people you had contact with daily or close to it)
Anon
Well, that seems harsh.
I think they are fine so long as it is not a mass email. I like having the personal contact information from people.
I’ve also sent them (individually) to people in my department when it spanned more than one office and most of the office was on flex time, so on my last three days or so I didn’t see more than half the office. People followed up and kept in touch, so I didn’t see a problem. I did, of course, say goodbye in person as well when it was possible.
Maddie Ross
Write notes to your assigned mentor and any work assignment coordinators or specific summer associate liasons. These are the people who went out of their way for you this summer, and these are likely the people who will really go to bat for you with recruiting, if necessary. As AnonInfinity said, make rounds to say thank you and goodbye in person to the attorneys in your group. Do not send an email to the office, or even a small group or practice area — everyone knows, or should know, today’s the last day for the summers. No need to thank them all in an email.
Trixie
I don’t usually read the “thank you all so much for the opportunity blah blah blah” part of departure emails, but I appreciate it when people include a non-work email address or contact information. True, these days most people are on LinkedIn and you can get in touch with them that way, but marking an email low priority and writing a quick “so long and thanks for all the fish” isn’t going to raise any eyebrows.
I should note though that I don’t work in the legal field and we don’t have summer associates or interns, so I guess I’m not sure how I would feel if I got a bunch of emails from a group of people who were all leaving on the same day. But I don’t begrudge a “goodbye” email from anyone leaving a full time position.
Batgirl
My boss just got married–very low key, very quick ceremony. A group in the office has pooled some money for a gift (about $370–we’re a nonprofit, after all). Given that the bride isn’t registered for anything and is a bit more established in her life (late 30s), what store would you recommend a gift card to? Williams Sonoma? Bloomingdales? We’re in NYC.
Thanks!
NOLA
Crate and Barrel? Bed Bath and Beyond? When you’re combining households there are always things you need to replace or add.
Lilly
Williams Sonoma, and let her know its good at Pottery Barn and West Elm also.
Batgirl
Ah, I didn’t know that! That’s great!
Olivia Pope
I love this dress. The words “ponte knit sheath dress” are music to my ears.
Let’s talk trench coats. I want a hooded trench coat that is knee length, water repellant, and lightly fitted. Does anyone have something like this? Any suggestions?
lucy stone
LL Bean had a good one, I think called the West End. It didn’t fit me right but looks cute.
big dipper
I have an amazing hooded trench coat from one of the Michael Kohrs lines via Nordstrom Rack. It was a gift and I wear it religiously; the hood is amazing, it has functional pockets and interesting but conservative details (zippers, buttons).
Nordies
+1 to Michael Kohrs trench coats. I found a great deal on one at Bluefly a couple of years ago.
SAlit-a-gator
Birchbox TJ – I’ve heard mixed reviews about it on this site, but thinking of signing up as a incentive not to spend more than $10 per month on cosmetics but still get that rush of excitment from trying something new. I understand the products are mostly new or non-Sephora brands, and it’s mostly trial not full size? Is this correct? Any over all thoughts or recommendations for another subscription service?
Blue
I tried it and cancelled it after two or three months. The sizes were usually really tiny, so best case scenario is generally that you like it, but then have to buy the full size to use it more than a few times. So it may be a good way to find new things, but you’ll still have to spend $$$ to buy them. I ended up cancelling because I didn’t end up liking most of what they sent me, but that’s obviously just a personal preference issue. Fwiw, I have red hair and typical red-head coloring, so I often find that products that work on most people don’t work on me, so that may have been the issue.
Calla
I currently receive Birchbox (I did it for maybe a year in the past then cancelled for budget reasons, and just two months ago re-subscribed) and I don’t know if I’d say it’s mostly non-Sephora brands, but you definitely get stuff that’s not available at Sephora. You tend to get 2-3 sample sizes (i.e. packets or cards of something) and 1-2 “deluxe” trial sizes. I like it, and I think it’s good for that “I really want to try new stuff but don’t want to spend lots.”
I have some friends who get ipsy, which I tried for a few months. It gives you more deluxe or full size products, but the brands, to me, were also more unheard of (which you may like! but I like getting something I’ve heard of but haven’t tried).
Glossybox looks fantastic, lots of nice big-size products, but I haven’t tried it yet. It’s also about $20 versus the $10 of bb/ipsy, but you do get more!
Anonymous
I have been a subscriber for 6-7 months and am considering cancelling. I love the rush of getting the box every month, but many times I am just unenthusiastic about the products. I use some of them but have never, ever considered purchasing full-size. I have received a diverse mix of samples from lip gloss, hair ties, moisturizers, scrubs, a lipstick, perfume, hair goops, and BB cream. One time I also got these chocolate brownie bite things. Oh, and a bar of solid laundry soap (which smells great, but when am I going to use it?)
All of the cosmetic products are lesser-known brands – not Sephora or Ulta brands. I still purchase my regular products that I was buying before I signed up. One thing I do like about the Birchbox samples is that they are usually not the little foil one-time-use packets of moisturizer/shampoo/whatever. It actually comes in a miniature tube.
RR
I really like Birchbox. Mostly, it’s small samples of things that I try and am not blown away by, but I’ve found a handful of new staples that were well worth the full price cost. And some of the samples are generously sized. I had a chunky eyeshadow from eyeko that lasted more than 6 months (and then had been discontinued so I can’t replace it–so sad). And it’s a fun way to try new things without having to invest in a full size/price item. I find the brands to be everything from obscure, never heard of them brands to mainstream stuff. Yesterday’s box had benefit stuff and a stila lip gloss, for example. I’ve also played with my settings enough that I seem to get stuff that’s good for me–lots of curly hair products, for example, and minimal fragrance.
I’m going on a couple years with mine and still really enjoy it. I say try it out. You can always cancel!
RR
I was just looking at the August box, and my favorite Birchbox product ever was in some of the August boxes. The amika Obliphica hair treatment. God, I love that stuff. It’s the perfect hair oil for my wavy/curly frizz.
eek
+1 to Amika. The conditioner is great.
Anonymous
That’s funny, I know the owners of that brand. I’m surprised it’s blown up so much, I think bb had a lot to do with promoting their brand/company. Very cool.
BB
I’ve gotten Birchbox for about eight months. I’ve gotten multiple full-size samples, including 3 eyeliners (1 gel, 1 traditional, 1 liquid felt tip), 2 nail polishes, 1 lip gloss, and 1 chubby lip pencil. For a while I was getting a lot of perfume samples I would never use, so I went in and changed my preferences and don’t receive them much anymore. I would say that the most important thing is updating your profile to reflect your coloring, interests, etc., so that you get things that you will use.
I have bought 2 products I got as samples in full size– one was a BB cream, the other was facial cleanser. For both I used birchbox points– if you go online and review your samples you get 10 points. 100 points = $10. They will occasionally give you points for things as well– once my order was delayed and they just credited me 100 points. Another time I got a repeat sample and they did so without me even alerting them.
AIMS
I am also a fan. I would say some things are Sephora brands and are full size versions of what is sold at sephora. In terms of full size, I have gotten several eyeliners, lipsticks, blushes, etc. Mascaras tend to be in that deluxe sample size that comes in free gifts with purchase but I prefer that because I like to switch mascara every 3 months or so and find regular size tubes last longer than that. I’ve also gotten good sized samples of other things such as hair oil or BB cream and lots of little things that are great for one time use that I’d probably never buy like double sided tape.
I also like the smaller sizes for travel products — it’s great to take a fancy new face wash or conditioner on vacation.
eek
I have Birchbox fatigue, which I think is common. I’ve been a subscriber for 2 years and just canceled my annual subscription
I think for the price point, it’s worth a try.
big dipper
If you’re looking for makeup products, I recommend Ipsy. It’s exclusively beauty products and they’re usually amazing. I get 2 everyday wear products in each bag, 1-2 special occasion type products and 1 fun product I’d never think to buy on my own.
Anonymous
Am I the only person who really doesn’t like ponte? Sure, it’s really comfortable, but I always look unpolished in it, and I don’t think it’s flattering on my curves- I look good in a sheath, and I look….very Joan from Mad Men in wrap dresses, so I don’t wear them to work, even though I love them, but all my ponte dresses make me look dumpy.
AIMS
I don’t like them either. And I find that 8/10 they pill which makes them look sloppier.
Anonymous
THIS!
Anonymous
Yeah, ponte on my bottom half looks so frumpy. Not a fan. I have a ponte knit blazer that I love for casual wear though.
L in DC
I think it’s body shape specific. I tend to look fantastic in ponte, while I look a little dumpier in sheath dresses, which never fit me quite right. I prefer sleeves, and sleeves are tough with sheath dresses that don’t have much stretch to them.
I Hate Popup Ads
Is anyone else getting annoying block pop up ads today on this site which have no x where you can close them? They move and block part of the middle of the page. I tried clearing all cookies and data but they are still there and they even pop up when I started a private browsing session on Safari. I’m on an iPad. It makes reading this site almost impossible as they move down the page as you scroll.
Merabella
get ad block – it is awesome, I haven’t had issues since I got it, and I totally forgot that ads were on this site.
Marilla
Alert to Canadians — just got an email that Kate Spade has resumed shipping to Canada, $10 flat rate and $20 for expedited. Duties and taxes up front. Sounds much better than before and certainly better than no shipping at all! Now I can throw away all my money at the next sale..
Equity's Darling
Welp, guess I better go sign up for emails from Kate Spade…..this website is so enabling.
TO Lawyer
It’s like someone heard all my whining here about finding stuff and then realizing they don’t ship here and decided to help me augment my jewelry collection/hurt my credit card.
Poor but Happy!
Ladies, your insight would be awesome. I’ve just taken a government job that will be a decent pay cut, but seems to be a fantastic job for me. It won’t hinder our ability to pay our bills, but will certainly cut down on disposable income for fun things, travel, etc. I’m okay with this but am just a bit nervous.
Two things I’m considering are 1) taking the bus to work and 2) getting rid of cable in favor of roku + Netflix / hulu plus. If anyone can shed some light on these transitions that would be awesome.
FWIW, I live in a mid-sized southern city and would be taking an express bus to the next city over (20 miles). I’m totally unfamiliar with public transportation, so not sure about this option, but it would certainly save on gas, parking, etc.
Also, what about HBO shows if you get rid of traditional cable? Is there anywhere you can watch them online?
TBK
We haven’t had cable for about four years and are perfectly happy. We have a roku box and Netflix subscription. We also buy subscriptions to our favorite shows on iTunes. That covers all the networks plus AMC etc. (I think the shows we buy are The League, Walking Dead, Justified, Archer, and the Americans. A lot of these wind up on Netflix, but we like to watch the current season so we pay the money for it.) HBO is a problem. We just watch them a few years late, either through Netflix DVDs, or by buying the season on iTunes. It’s my one complaint. I would pay some serious money to be able to watch HBO in real time (or at least, in the same week), but there’s no way to do it yet.
Anon for this
You need HBO Go for Roku. You just have to find someone w/ an HBO cable subscription that doesn’t use their GO subscription and will let you use it. They get GO for free w/ their cable. My in-laws don’t use theirs so we use it.
goldribbons
I live in NYC so public transportation is fantastic. I don’t own a car. That being said, I think you have to ask people who know your city and your local public transportation for accurate feedback. Also, I don’t know if this is absolutely crazy, but based on your hesitancy toward public transportation, maybe get a prius (or other electric car) to save on gas instead of taking the bus? You might find it’s just not worth it because of how time-consuming taking the bus can be.
Anon in NYC
Also, check that commuting via mass transit doesn’t leave you stranded once you arrive at your office. Are there things within walking distance if you need to run out?
eek
Agree with the above. And, if you attend off-site meetings make sure the bus REALLY goes where you need to be so you don’t have to call Uber for a ride back to the office.
KLG
I definitely miss my long metro commute (since I now have a long car commute). I used to listen to music and read the paper or catch up on blogs on my phone. It was great zone out/me time that you can’t get when you’re driving. But there was also a starbucks and a CVS one block from my office and other fast food type restaurants plus some sit down restaurants and a Whole Foods were only a couple blocks more so I definitely did not need a car to run basic errands or go get lunch when I was at work.
Enjoy your government job though! I hope it is as fabulous as mine has turned out to be! The perks have definitely balanced out the pay cut as far as I’m concerned and after a few months of not eating out/shopping all the time, I adjusted and now I don’t miss it as much.
Batgirl
I cancelled cable and rely on roku for hulu and netflix. Honestly, it’s more tv than I know what to do with (though I do still get the basic abc/nbc/etc for free). You can supplement with itunes here and there, but it’s so much cheaper!
LizNYC
I’m not sure about your specific mass transit commuting situation, but if you do end up taking the bus and don’t get motion sickness from reading, I’d highly suggest getting an e-reader. I have a Nook (the lowest-end one — nothing fancy) and I LOVE it. I used to commute 3 hours total every day by train and having a guaranteed book or magazine for each way was the only thing that kept me sane sometimes. That and a good set of headphones for my (fully charged) iPod.
I now commute by car since I got a new job that’s not mass transit accessible, and I miss my daily reading time.
L
I used to take the bus to work and I absolutely LOVED it. I napped, read, caught up on life ‘stuff’ (bills, thank you cards, birthday cards, emails). I treated it as though I was in the car (no email) so it was my usual commute time, but ALL TO MYSELF. depending on what city you are in, the bus is often nicer/quicker than other public transportation options. Just make sure you go to the bathroom before you leave home/work.
Silvercurls
“Just make sure you go to the bathroom before you leave home/work.”
Excellent advice for any commuter. Seems obvious to big-city residents with good public transit networks, but it’s news to folks who only started using public transportation in adulthood (because family of origin used cars only, or lived somewhere without good public transportation).
CKB
I take a 40 min train ride to work each day, and the same home. I also love it. I mostly read (the advice about getting an e-reader is great advice), and for the most part it’s very nice ‘me’ time – as long as I get a seat (which is 95%+ of the time).
And the bathroom advice is great advice!!
Nonny
I’ve taken public transit since the age of 12, in a variety of cities, and love it. I love the opportunity to set my brain for the day in the morning, and then decompress on my way home in the evening. If I drove to/from work, I’d have to concentrate on the road and wouldn’t have the same opportunity. I’m also a reader and usually have a book with me on the bus. It’s gotten so that I kind of resent the loss of my personal time when my SO offers to pick me up from work!
Blonde Lawyer
When I take public transit it is BECAUSE of the bathroom. We have a commuter bus that runs from one city to the other. In the morning with bad traffic it can take an hour and a half from point A to B. I hate being stuck in traffic and having to go to the bathroom. The commuter bus has a (clean) bathroom and wifi!
MsZ
Falling in line behind all the other Roku users. We have ours hooked up to our Amazon Prime account, which means a lot of older and/or network shows (Downton Abbey, The Good Wife) are free. Also, if you’re in a major metropolitan area, don’t forget about an old school antenna. We pick up all the networks with a better signal than our neighbors who pay for cable. There are a few websites that tell you which antenna to get (depending on how far away you are from the towers) and in what direction to point it. You just have to hook it up to the existing “cable” lines going to your “cable” jacks in your house, and voila!
B
Second the antenna! I got mine last week and love it.
Also, I would dissuade folks against Apple TV at this point because it’s very limited in apps and doesn’t connect to the ipad in the way promised. The novelty of having your pictures stream to TV is great, like once a year, but I’d rather have the ability to have Amazon Prime vids more instead of only being able to watch it on my iPad.
ANP
Yessssssssssssss this is so annoying! We got an Apple TV thinking we could use it with Amazon Prime, but no luck. I HATE IT.
Sydney Bristow
I actually really like my Apple TV, though I do agree with you on the Amazon Prime issue. I usually stream it on my iMac and then mirror that to the Apple TV. It works from my iMac but not my iPad. I don’t actually have to do that very often because there is so much overlap with netflix, which is available directly from the Apple TV.
Lynnet
I started taking the bus about 4 months ago and am now a huge public transit enthusiast. It takes 10-15 minutes longer than my commute by car would (1 hr 5 minutes vs. 50 minutes), but it’s all time that’s mine. I read, play games with my brother and friends on my phone, catch up on nonwork email, and sometimes work on the bus. I normally read a couple of books a week just on the bus. If I wanted to, I could even watch tv on my phone, I suppose. Since I started taking the bus, I frequently look forward to my commuting time as the best part of my day. Your specific circumstances will vary, but key for me has been that my bus is really nice and and seats are comfy, usually pretty empty, and comes at reasonable times for me to get to work and get home.
Also, as I got more used to taking the bus, I got more comfortable going to different places. I have three or four places that I’m fairly comfortable getting to from work, which makes it easy if I need to go someplace before or after work.
On the downside, I now get to work by walking from the busstop through a mall, and it hasn’t helped my shopping budget.
Blue
If you have a friend or family member who is willing to let you use their password, you can use HBOGo. HBO allows unlimited people to watch the same account at the same time (unlike Netflix, which I think limits it to two people).
If you have Amazon Prime, you can also get a lot of free shows on there, and you can also always pay for the current shows as you need them.
Anonymous
We are toying with this too but just did a hulu plus trial subscription and it seems like they have nothing
Mpls
Hulu is really dead during the summer. It mainly has network shows available to stream on TV (there are more cable options available to watch via your laptop), so there’s not a lot of new stuff popping up during the summer. I hardly used it at all last summer.
You can put your subscription on hold for a number of weeks, during which you do not pay for the service. Since there’s not a lot happening during the summer, I’ve put mine on hold until September when the new shows start. Hulu is really best for getting current episodes ( I think of it like my DVR).
Anonymous
You can get a lot of TV on Amazon, too. With a Prime subscription, which I find well worth the $79 given the free shipping, you can get some things for free, including a lot of vintage stuff. Perhaps not what you thought you wanted to watch, but certainly good stuff to fill time.
Thank you!
OP here, thanks for all your feedback! I think I’m going to research the bus and give it a try. On a couple occasions I’ve taken Bolt Bus and the like instead of driving to nearby cities for weekend trips and have enjoyed the “me time” that it gives you that you really don’t get while driving. I think it could be a relaxing start and end to the workday.
As for the cable, I think if we can find someone with HBO Go, we will cancel cable. I really enjoy Boardwalk Empire and both my husband and I watch the Newsroom and True Blood, so it would be hard to give up!
Ekaterin Nile
I got rid of my cable a couple of years ago and rely on Instant Video on Amazon Prime and an over-the-air antenna for my TV. I used to rely on Netflix, but the free shipping that comes with Amazon Prime convinced me to convert. I bought a cable that goes from my MacBook Air to one of the HDMI ports on my TV so I can show whatever’s on my laptop on my TV. I know there are apps I can run through Wii or Bluray player, but I like the direct connection. For TV shows on the networks and PBS, I use the antenna. You may not know this, but you can get those channels in high-def for free over the air. Lovely!
As for taking the bus, make sure that the “last bus home” will work with your schedule. The reason I don’t bus is that the last bus home is at 5:25, and I just can’t leave work at 5:25 (seems like everything in litigation happens between 4 and 6 pm). When I was able to bus, I listened to audiobooks on my iPhone during my commute. It’s a good way to avoid motion sickness and unwanted conversation.
Cheap-ish suit
I need to buy an interview-appropriate suit, but don’t want to spend too much money (pregnant so buying a size up for now, but don’t want to shell out for something I won’t be able to wear in a year). I’m in a conservative field, so it needs to be a plain navy/charcoal type. What are my best options?
Anonymous
Marshalls or TJ Maxx? What about a consignment store (often nicer than thrift stores)
V
Is there a Marshalls near you? Steinmart? Loehmann’s? I used to buy suits there when I was in school and just starting out in an all-suit environment.
mascot
I usually can find a suit at Macy’s on sale. I’ve had good results with Anne Klein and Tahari suits. Kasper usually has some conservative suits too and they are cut a bit roomy.
rosie
I’d check out the everyday value suiting separates at Macy’s. I got 2 Calvin Klein suits that I like a lot that were $120 or less (each). Conservative, different pieces (dress, pants, pencil skirt, a-line skirt, multiple jackets), and it would probably help you to be able to get the bottom and top in different sizes.
Blair Waldorf
I’d look at The Limited. There are almost always 40% off sales if you wait a few days, and the suiting is pretty classic/good quality for the price. Many of the options are also machine washable.
I bought several suiting separates from there when I first started work, thinking I would upgrade eventually, and I end up wearing them just as often as my more expensive options.
BBL
Burlington Coat Factory! It’s not usually top-of-mind, even for me, but I have been fortunate to find some great Tahari suits there for less than you will pay even at TJ Maxx or Marshalls.
L in DC
Banana Republic (wait for one of the constant 40% off sales)
Ann W.
Could you tell me if the dress would be too long for a petite? I am only 5′. Thank you!
Wordy
I like the ribbon hair elastics that seem to be trending up. They look a litle more polished than a regular hair elastic. The ones I’ve seen in the stores look so cheap on the rack — like shiny stretchy material. Does anyone have a suggestion for another source? I’ve looked at France Luxe (does not seem to carry) and the ones at Nordstrom still look a little shiny. I saw someone wearing what looked like cute stretch grosgrain, but can’t locate. TIA
Anonymous
Sephora has tons of them.
Miss Behaved
Birchbox has nice ones. Currently, I’m addicted to the nautical themed ones. I’ve bought 2 packs.
CKB
Have you tried etsy? There’s probably a ton there.
Anon
Look at twistband dot com. They have tons of solids, prints and not so shiny options.
Anonymous
My last day as a summer associate is Friday. I plan to get flowers for my secretary. I’m the only summer in this office. Should I get flowers for the attorney who oversaw my work all summer too? (I just realized that might be a nice idea…)
roses
I think a thank-you note is more appropriate for the attorney.
AnonInfinity
I think it would be awkward for an attorney to get flowers from a summer associate. A nice chat or personal email is the best gesture, in my opinion.
Cornellian
Agreed. I’d leave a thank-you note.
Anonymous
No. they might get you flowers.
Parfait
Gifts flow DOWN in the workplace, not up. Nice letter for the boss, flowers for your secretary.
Need confidence
Does anyone have any resource (books, websites, articles) recommendations for cultivating the courage and self confidence to make a change in their life? Or more specifically one’s professional life? Many self help books and hours of soul searching later, I am finally acknowledging that I need a career change. However,every time I come across something I’d remotely like to try or do, I keep telling myself I can’t do it (dont have the skills/too old/ no money/ will fail etc etc). I have been in the same industry for 8 years since graduation so am not well exposed to other career paths. While on the surface I appear professionally successful, I have not enjoyed or seen value in my career so far and feel like an utter failure. My lack of confidence is the biggest obstacle to making a change and I need steps to overcome it.
Any recommendations or inspiring anecdotes are very much appreciated. Thanks in advance!
TBK
Not sure if this is completely on point but I wonder if Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office would be helpful. It would at least suggest some behavioral changes you can make. Even if you don’t feel the confidence at first, often acting in a more confident way can lead to more confident feelings later one.
L in DC
+1 The first step to confidence is figuring out how to fake it. This is different from courage to make a change though. I’ve found that information-gathering always helps calm some of the nerves of serious decision-making. Talk to as many people as you can about their careers/jobs. Focus in on an area or couple of areas that seem like they’d be a good fit for you. Talk to people in those areas for ideas on how you would transition (types of positions that would work as a bridge to that new career, transferable skills that you should emphasize when applying for jobs, licenses or courses that would be useful to take on the side and give you some exposure to the new area, etc.). And then plot out your worst case scenario (you’re not happy with the career change) and realize that it’s not so bad (you’re not happy with where you are either, and if you don’t like the new career, you’ll just keep looking for something else). Another thing I find really helpful is positive self-talk. Start defining yourself as a confident person and make a habit of complimenting yourself. At the same time, make an effort to squash any negative self-talk. It might feel forced at first, but this really does make a different in one’s self-perception and it starts to feel normal over time. You really are your own biggest cheerleader.
Penny
This isn’t a career-specific book, but I really liked The Bounce Back Book. It is a fun, easy read that gives you practical tips for dealing with a tough time. It has some specific techniques that might help you.
For career inspiration, I enjoyed Lean In. Sandburg talks about the ups and downs in her own career in a really hopeful, empowering way that might make you feel better too. I like how solution oriented she is, and it’s nice to know that someone as successful as she is has also felt lost and overwhelmed at times.
Good luck! You can do it. Don’t stay stuck. Keep working toward something that will be a better fit.
Silvercurls
Moral support:
– The experiences of completing your education and being employed in the related industry for 8 years mean you’re not an utter failure, even if you haven’t enjoyed the experience.
– Being only 8 years post-graduation doesn’t seem “too old” to me! (If you’re saying this because your field defines failure as “not being a vice president by age 30” or some such unrealistic goal that excludes 99% on the planet, I say that this is a message from the universe to change careers.)
– Reading this blog also means, by definition, that you’re resourceful and resilient: in other words, that you have additional reasons not to see yourself as unsuccessful.
Good luck with your search.
DowntownBK
Sorry, no advice but just wanted to say hang in there!! I seriously could have written every word of your post (except I’ve been at my career 7 years)… even though I have a ‘good job’ by nearly any standard, I feel like a failure. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone in your feelings. I hope you find something that works better for you soon!
Veronique
Has anyone ever decided to just sell all of their furniture and start fresh instead of moving it? I’m making a cross-country move that will cost me approximately $1000-1200 to move my entire apartment. Most of my furniture is from law school, so it’s average to cheap quality and over 5 years old. If I ditched the furniture, I would move my kitchen appliances/supplies, clothes, and books, maybe renting a small trailer for $200-300.
Has anyone ever done this? Good idea or bad idea? Is it possible to furnish a 1 bedroom apartment for $800-1000?
goldribbons
I would say probably not possible to furnish a 1-BR for under $1k, but why not go on IKEA’s website and find out?
Alice
I think a lot depends on whether you need/want the apartment furnished immediately or can wait for deals (craigslist, thrift stores, estate sales, etc.) over time.
I furnished my one bedroom apartment for about that much (by furnish I mean furniture, not towels, sheets, etc.). It also helped that I had easy access to a friend’s car to borrow for random pick ups, and that I don’t mind an “eclectic” look (no matching sets for me!).
HappyHoya
I’ve got rid of a lot during my last move. I didn’t sell absolutely everything, but I sold everything I could get a price on that made it worth my while. I was surprised by what I was able to get for some of my furniture, and how much of it people wanted to buy. Keep in mind it cost a lot to move things, so you may not have to get as high a price as you think you do to make it worth your while (not only the cost of moving it, but the near certainty that something will get broken anyway, or if it’s not good quality, it may not arrive in quite the same condition). I think you could purchase a lot of what you needed for the new apartment with 1k plus whatever you made by selling your old stuff. I am not even a fan of IKEA or saying it needs to be cheap stuff. If you want to furnish it all in one weekend, you’re probably going to spend a lot more than that. If you’re willing to only get what you really need right away (mattress, table, etc.) and wait a little while to shop around for a sofa, nightstands, etc, I don’t think you need to break the bank.
zora
This. You covered everything I was going to say! ;o)
B
I did that but then sorely regretted it as I could not find replacement furniture in my new city without paying much much more. I sold it all b/c I thought I’d save a bit on the moving/storage, but the cash I got vs. the extra storage/moving did not make up the difference in how much extra I had to pay for the furniture + delivery in NYC (not to mention time to find/buy the pieces).
Nordies
I got rid of almost everything in my law school condo and refurnished an entire 1br apartment for about $1500 using Ikea and consignment furniture stores. (Some of the money came from selling my old furniture on Craigslist, which I did in a matter of days–albeit at rock-bottom prices.) I did it all over labor day weekend, too.
I kept kitchen stuff (pots, etc.), linens, and some other stuff like that, but bought a new mattress (found a nice one on sale, talked the guy down even more), couch and chair from consignment store, everything else from Ikea. Oh, and a new TV from costco. Anything else I needed I just purchased as the paychecks came in. I don’t love all my furniture, but it’s worked just fine, at least until I can afford new stuff.
Gail the Goldfish
It’s possible. One of my old roommates managed to get every piece of furniture (except for mattresses, obviously) in our apartment from Craigslist or the Salvation Army/Goodwill for dirt cheap (and they were entirely decent pieces), and we just bought plates and kitchen utensils at ikea. But it requires the time to find the nice things on craigslist and the willingness to buy secondhand furniture from random internet strangers. If you want to buy new pieces, I think it’d be a lot harder, especially depending on how nice of a mattress you want.
Pregomama
Yes. We moved across the state and sold our grad-school/1 year out of grad school apartment full of furniture when we bought our new house. We kept a couch, all our kitchen equipment, our TV, 2 dressers, and our mattress/box spring, plus some misc. decor (lamps, etc).
We bought a new (to us) kitchen set from Craigslist shortly after we moved. We bought bedroom furniture new, and since we doubled our square footage, we lived for a time with an empty guestroom and a living room that had a couch and some boxes as end tables. Within the first year, we had the house mainly furnished. We’ve been here 3 years and we’re finally fully set up…just in time for the new baby to create the need to re-do the entire guest room :)
sharpest
another thing to consider is that your furniture might not survive the move. Every single piece of IKEA furniture I’ve seen (not just mine, friends and relatives as well) has fallen apart in a move.
CKB
Really? We’ve had nothing but good luck with our IKEA furniture – we’re big fans. However, we don’t buy the cheapest that they have – we try to buy their mid range stuff. We have dressers that have moved 3-4 times without an issue, and we have one old TV stand dh bought before we were married (so about 20 years ago) that is now holding toys & games. Granted, he did reinforce it with L brackets, but even then it’s held up amazingly well.
Anonymous
My IKEA furniture has been moved 3 times just fine. I have the Hemnes dresser, two nightstands, and a large armoire that barely fit through my cornered entryway but was not damaged at all.
Veronique
Thanks for all the advice! It’s definitely something to consider carefully.
Pro moving: Most of the furniture has already survived one (relatively short) move. The only Ikea piece is also the newest (less than a year), so that would be my biggest concern. I’m considering selling because I temporarily feel overwhelmed a the thought of moving it all, which would just be delaying the hard work to a new city when I’m also starting a new job. I refuse to buy soft furniture (couches, mattresses, etc) secondhand. I’ll probably be moving again in three years, potentially to another country, so I’ll probably just have everything set up when it’s time to move.
Pro selling: I live in a college town, so this is definitely the time of year that I would get the most bang for my buck selling it. I’m open to buying most furniture second-hand.
After looking at the pros and cons, it seems like moving everything is my best bet, because I’d just be delaying the headache. Thanks!
Ellen
I did b/c I had bug’s and roaches all over the place where I rented with others (who were NOT clean) and did NOT want to bring that into my OWN new apartement. Alan said to leave everything or throw it out and we would eventualy furnish it all together. But once I moved, he did NOT want to buy anything so my dad bought everything for me. Yay dad! Fooey Alan!
Bonnie
I luckily sold all of my furniture after law school to a person with the same floor plan apartment as me who liked the setup. Moving the furniture was going to be expensive and I preferred to start from scratch instead of making the old furniture fit. Furnishing a 1 bedroom apartment for under $1,000 will be hard but not impossible if you’re willing to buy second-hand furniture.
DC Summer
Hi everyone, I received some good news: I got an offer from my firm. Yay! I am so happy. I really liked the firm, loved my practice group and colleagues, felt like I fit into the culture of the firm, enjoyed the work, etc. I can’t really think of any downside to accepting… Are there other factors I should be looking in to? What other factors do you recommend I consider (if any)? I will be clerking in 2014-15. I’m afraid to rush into it, but I feel great. Thanks!
Blair Waldorf
First off, congratulations!
Second, are you sure you can accept the offer formally if you are clerking? My firm does not allow that because it creates a potential conflict of interest. We do a soft offer which involves reapplying when the clerkship is over with an understanding that if a position is available at that time, it’s yours.
If you can accept and clerk, if you didn’t accept now would you be disadvantaged in the future from working at the firm? What do most people in your situation do? If you know you like the firm and it’s the geographic region you know you are interested in, go for it. Just know that things may change in 2 years. The firm might not have the same people you enjoyed, it might not be as stable, you might want to try a different area of law or a different city, or clerking might open your eyes to different opportunities. Those are just some of the risks of accepting now, but if you feel great about it and people in your situation commit this early, then I don’t think you’re rushing if you think it all through.
Cat
don’t worry about looking too eager if you accept quickly. Aside from the factors you’ve mentioned, have you seen anything that could cause concern as to the health of the firm/practice group (do they have one or two key clients that could leave and take awhile to replace, are client relationships spread among partners or are there a few with concentrated, large books that could be a flight risk…) That said, it’s unlikely you’ll get real visibility into any of that, so it sounds like you found a good fit, congrats!
Former clerk
Ask your judge before you accept. Some have policies against having already accepted an offer. My firm put in writing that they would keep my offer open until the end of my clerkship after I told them that my judge’s policy.
s-non
Looking for purse recommendations! I have never been a purse person and don’t usually carry a lot of things, but am trying to find something that is a little more fashionable / classy than what I currently use. I am in NYC and would like to be able to fit my wallet, phone, and maybe a book or water bottle for some subway rides. I want both shoulder straps and a cross-body option, and don’t like the look of satchels/too structured or too hobo. Basically, I’m looking for something like this MK option, but potentially smaller, with more color options, and maybe two shoulder straps? I’m so indecisive! Thank you for all the help!
http://www.michaelkors.com/p/MICHAEL-Michael-Kors-MICHAEL-Michael-Kors-Large-Bedford-Pebbled-Shoulder-Bag-SHOULDER-BAGS/prod21090013_cat8518_cat8501_/?index=16&cmCat=cat000000cat8501cat8518&isEditorial=false
Famouscait
I am so excited! I just got the agenda for my job interview next week and can’t stop staring at the title, “Candidate for Director of X”. Yay!
In less exciting news, I’m pretty much queasy all.the.time and have discovered (via the phone interview) that nerves + queasiness = nausea. Therefore, I’m already dreading the last interview of the day, a one-on-one lunch meeting with the executive director. Food is not my friend these days, but I obviously am going to have to put something down the hatch.
Finally, I thought I’d conclude by sharing a bit of awesome shopping karma; really, it was a personal best for me. After finding out that I had this half-day interview coming up, I immediately tried on all my interview clothes to discover that nothing fits anymore in a way that makes me feel confidant. So, battling my also never ceasing fatigue, I made a power shopping trip to Macy’s and Belk’s after work…. One hour later, I emerged triumphant, with a navy blue jersey faux-wrap dress (with sleeves!) and two different Calvin Klein blazer options (one cream, the other mint). Oh, and did I mention I accomplished this for UNDER $60?!?
I am going to ROCK this. (And then probably barf in private, but whatever).
Brant
Get something to drink with bubbles during the meal interview- if your stomach is turning, sip on it. Also, nibble on the table bread if available.
This should be less awkward than ordering soda vs wine at a dinner, since it’s a lunch interview.
Frugal doc..
Ginger ale is perfect for this. Ginger is a natural anti-nausea “medication”.
Good luck to you!
Anon for this
I’m having an oddly emotional morning. We had a celebration for milestone anniversaries for people in our office this morning, where everyone talked about how great it is to have a supportive place to raise their families. Between that and talking about TTC with my doctor yesterday and my DH being out of town I think it just all hit me at once. I think my biological clock is starting to go a little nuts…
k-padi
I’m sorry. It’s hard to be at an office that has a lot of families without one myself. I always feel a bit of the outsider.
Commute question
DH’s new job is a 60-90 minute commute (think: 30 miles of driving, 90 minutes in awful traffic…on really bad days it can be up to 2+ hours). We live in a great town in a great part of the state, and I have a 30 minute train commute with the option of working from home.
We are about to have our first baby, and if we stay here, DH will be out of the house from 7am-7pm, assuming a “normal” 8-5 work day (and I assume his work day will be longer). We are starting to debate a move, but we LOVE our town and our area.
At what point did you make (or not make) the call to move to improve your commute? Or, what coping mechanisms do you use for a miserable commute like this, for which there are no other transportation alternatives? We are going to be looking for a new house in the next 2-3 years anyway as our family out grows our current one—think it’s worth 2-3 years of a crap commute?
Anon1
I love a lot of things and places, but not as much as I love time. I’ve had miserable commutes and I will never get those years back. Think of all you can do with one or two extra hours a day! I hear you on loving where you are, but is there nowhere you could be content with that would be more do-able?
After I had 18 months of a 3-hour round-trip commute, I refused to do that ever again and 15 years later have not regretted it one bit. I moved to city A and lived where I could walk to work and when I moved to city B, I made sure I could walk to transit (so a short train ride, but I could read or catch up on e-mails, things I could never do in a car). Now I live a bit further out and drive a whopping 2 miles (for daycare pickups). I am in a smaller, older house, but in an area where the public schools are good. I absolutely wouldn’t trade the time with my family (or my time, back when I was single) for anything.
See how it goes once the baby comes, but even working from home with a sick baby can be impossible without the second spouse around at least some of the day (but hard to have your husband help out if he has such a long commute to work 1/2 a day in the office). How will you ever eat together as a family? How does your husband feel about that?
Anonymous
My dad was out of the house from 6am-8pm every day growing up. The number one regret my parents have is choosing the best town with the best schools versus the perfectly nice town with good schools and an hour less commuting each day. He missed seeing us, and we missed him. It meant he had no time for his own hobbies, friendships, or working out. It’s rough.
Susie
I don’t remember this at all, but apparently the first two years of my life my dad worked a few hours away and slept at the shop Mon-Fri only coming home on weekends. Then when I was two we moved closer to the business. My mom sometimes seems wistful of this move, because we were in a lovely area (Carmel) and the house was paid off.
Growing up, my parents owned a business and though the commute was short my dad worked very long hours. Later my mom told me that my dad never wanted to discipline us because he felt like he didn’t spend enough time with us and he didn’t want our only memories to be of him being the bad guy. But I feel like I had a great childhood and am super close to both my parents.
I’m not sure what your question is. Some people mind commuting more than others. Is your husband bothered by it?
Commute question
So- two things here. One, I actually had this same commute for about 6 months. It was AWFUL. So I get it. DH is the one that is more tied to our existing location, but I have a feeling it will just eat away at him as it did me.
Second, my dad worked in NYC and we lived in the burbs. He took the train (not driving) but was gone 6am-8pm daily. He really regrets it. This is part of why this is a big issue for me.
I guess part of me doesn’t want to make the move until we know this is a longer term gig. We live in a suburb of a big city; many jobs are located IN the city, which is an easy commute from where we live. This job is just in a suburb on the opposite side of the city, which requires a car and sitting in city traffic both ways to get there and back. Yuck.
TBK
Honestly, a sub-1 hour commute is a non-negotiable for me. My husband would love to move further out from DC, but I’m currently at about 50 min and I’m not moving until/unless I get a job where I can telecommute at least 2 days/week. How does your husband feel about this commute? If it were me, I wouldn’t want to trade an extra 30-60min/day with my new baby for living in a “great” vs a “good” area (I’m assuming there are nice enough areas closer to his work that you could choose). Plus, how exhausted will you both be at the end of the day — you from being the only one on baby duty for so many hours and him from spending so much time in traffic? It seems like it wouldn’t be great for your marriage. On the other hand, how long does he expect to work at this job? And would the next job likely be in the same area?
Commute question
To be fair– baby will be in daycare during the day. I will be at work (either home or office), then picking up baby from daycare around 5/6.
The exact trick of it is that we’re not sure how long he’ll be in this job–and it’s likely that the next job will be downtown, like the rest of the world (which is an easy commute for us)
Anonymous
Have you thought through how daycare pickup and drop off will work? What if you travel or are sick? What if you have to work late? What about your husband? What if the baby is sick and has to go home early (which will happen at least 1/month for the first year)? Who will handle well child doctor appointments? Speaking from experience, it can be very unsustainable when all of these responsibilities and logistical problems fall on you and you alone, and that is what happens when one parent has a commute that takes him or her far from daycare.
ANP
I would say no, it’s not worth those 2-3 years, because I value my time above all else. For context, I’ve lived in big cities before and currently live in a small town. I’ve worked from home, commuted 2 hours one-way (thankfully that was for a short time and only for 3 days/week), commuted 1 hour one way, and currently have a sub-10 minute car commute. However, to achieve this sub-10 minute car commute, I live in the aforementioned small town. Quality of life here is decent: low COL, good access to natural resources, relative proximity to larger metro areas (45 minutes to a medium-sized city, 90 minutes to a BIG city). We don’t have big-city conveniences (thank goodness Nordstrom has free shipping!) but I get to be with my husband, dog and kiddos within 10 minutes of leaving the office. I can run home and prep dinner or work out on my lunch break, leaving more time to relax/be with family at night.
Five years ago, I would have said cool town/city first. Now I say family/time first.
Brooklyn Paralegal
Just my $.02: perhaps your and your husband should consider how much of a toll his being out of the house all day will take on you. If it’s something that you don’t foresee being able to work around, maybe moving sooner than later is a good plan.
I’d assume that current moms would be better suited to answer than I, though.
Trixie
Something to consider: http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2011/05/your_commute_is_killing_you.html
KLG
I have an easy hour-long commute (40+ miles in an hour, only traffic is getting stuck behind a school bus) and I hate it. It just adds so much time so my day, even though I work a 40 hour a week job. Due to custody issues, we can’t move closer to my job for another few years, but we are moving as soon as we are able. If I could do this job closer to home, there is no way I would spend an hour in the car to get to work.
Growing up my dad had a 10 minute commute and my mom had 30 minute commute. I really really wish my husband and I could do that. If I were you, I would move.
ArlMama
That’s going to be a tough commute, especially with a child. My husband and I live in a shoebox sized one-bedroom house just outside of DC with our one year old, and I’d take no commute over better little town any day. My husband gets so much more quality time with our son simply by being able to get home within 20 minutes. Even if something comes up in the evening, he can still get home quickly and do bedtime. In the morning, we have time to put the baby in the jogger and go for a walk or run before we head to work. I also hit my wall around 5:30 or 6, and knowing that my husband can get home soon and I won’t have to do dinner/bedtime alone really helps.
From friends who have been in your situation – Your husband will have a really small window of time for him to make it home for dinner/bedtime. A lot of nights, he’ll miss it, and just end up staying extra late b/c “it’s too late to see Baby anyway.” Your husband may start to feel really resentful of pitching in during the weekend b/c he really won’t have any downtime during the days. Also, he’ll miss a lot of time with your little one and you, and I’d imagine that driving that long during the early months would be hard – given the sleep deprivation.
A lot of people do have that kind of commute, but a lot of people hate it. I don’t know. If it was my family, I’d probably start looking into other neighborhoods, and get a really good handle on my alternatives before baby arrived. If you aren’t ready to move in anticipation of the awful commute, give it a try for a bit, but be ready to make the jump. Don’t get stuck in a bad situation simply b/c moving with a little one seems logistically tough. If you are pre-approved, have a neighborhood/realtor picked out, then all you have to do is make the call if/when you realize that it’s just not worth it.
Anonymous
We did something similar with a baby and it was the worst year of my life. My husband commuted 1.5-2 hours each way and I drive an hour each way with the baby. Baby hated the car and cried the.whole.time. Not a good way to start or end a work day. Plus with the awful traffic and distance, my husband could not help with day time child care, so if the baby was sick and had to leave daycare early, it always fell on my shoulders. Not to mention that it took the baby six months to sleep through the night, and sleep-deprived commuting is a bad idea. My baby stayed up late, but most babies go to sleep early so your husband might not see the baby all week. After a year I threatened to quit if my employer didn’t transfer me to the same city as my husband’s job because of the unbearable toll commuting, working full time (ok, more than full time) an having a baby was taking on me, my husband and our relationship. Getting rid of our commutes was the best choice I ever made.
goldribbons
Yeah — I would be very concerned about the toll this commute is going to take on your marriage. Whether your baby is due next month or sometime next year, the commute is going to be a challenge for both of you. Could your DH work from home once or twice per week? Or make alternate hours (some days or every day) so that he doesn’t have to sit in regular commuter traffic every single day?
AnonBK
Commuting time adds up, and is dead space not only in each workday but in your life. Think about the opportunity cost of those hours! 2 hours a day (the low end you quoted – 60-90 min each way) to spend doing errands, having leisure time, spending time with your kids, spending time on a hobby. Two hours is a LOT. I’d find another place you love with a better commute. In fact, I’d probably narrow any living options to within 30 minutes of work.
Commute question
I think our issue is that if, in 2 years, he is no longer with this company, we’ve just up and moved out to an area we don’t want to be in. Much higher cost of living, less property, same school district.
My commute would be equidistant from both locations (I commute into the city and/or work at home), so this is really all about his commute. He is also the one that has the stronger ties to our current location–which is coastal. He loves the ocean/boat-y vibe, and the new location would mean he’d never get the chance to use our boat since we’d be an hour from the water.
Ugh.
summer clerks?
As an update from last week (if anyone is interested) re: the summer clerk who couldn’t/wouldn’t BlueBook or IRAC:
I gave a “meh” vote and objectively explained in detail my reasons for changing from “yes” to “meh”. The hiring partner said she was also “meh” for the same reasons about keeping the clerk on but had one more person to talk to before making a decision. Though she was already trying out ways to gently break the news to the clerk that we wouldn’t need him in the fall.
It stinks to not have a fall intern. We really try to find the best and brightest for our very small summer program. Some years we do really well and have multiple fall interns but some years I come away feeling like we just wasted a lot of time.
Ekaterin Nile
If it’s any consolation, I think you and the hiring partner made the right call.
Nonny
So my normally very loving and affectionate cat attacked me last night. There is no other word for it. She started nipping at my feet as I went up the stairs to get ready for bed, and then started meowing at me in a weird, focussed way. Once I was ready for bed, I sat down on the bed to placate her, but when I tried to pet her, she bit my hand in a semi-serious manner, then attacked my leg. I got up to walk across the room and she leapt into the air, grabbed my forearm with all four feet, held on, and tried to bite my hand. She never broke skin but I have cat scratches all over me. I shut her out of the room for a while and when I opened the door later she was totally normal and was her usual loving self this morning. I can’t figure out what got into her.
The only thing I can think of is that (a) we were away all week last week, so she has probably been annoyed about that, (b) we tried to clip her toenails last night, which she doesn’t like and fights vigorously, and (c) I got home late from work so she didn’t get her normal routine of sitting on my lap after dinner. The combination might have thrown her off. But I’ve owned cats for ages and this has never happened before. It was really weird. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this with a cat? I’m just scratching my head trying to figure out what got into her.
Stacy
This dress is no longer available at Nordstrom.com. This Tahari one is a cute alternative…http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tahari-by-arthur-s-levine-kevin-jersey-sheath-dress-regular-petite/3509273.