Suit of the Week: Oscar de la Renta

104 Comments

1. Owning OLDR is #goals. I used to have a from-Marshalls Leslie Fay skirt suit like the pink / white checked jacket that is still 4-figures on final sale. Some day!

2. I’m starting Substack-type blog on corporate soft skills.

   Any suggestions for titles? So far, I’m thinking of “Empowering Your Soft Skills”, “Soft Skills Powerful Careers”, or “Turbocharging Your Soft Skills.” Would love feedback (and other recommendations for blog titles!

   1. aggressively neurotypical

      1. Ha! I lol-ed.
         -neurotypical (as far as I know) but definitely not great at soft skills

      2. LOL, love this.

         Neurotypical, but some of the soft skills don’t come easily to me!

      3. lol!

   2. Just spitballing here:

      “When Soft Skills Become Hard Skills, and vice-versa”
      “Soft Skills are Gendered”
      “Soft Skills and Neurodivergence”

   3. Tough Talk about Soft Skills.

      1. Love this one!

      2. Like!

   4. Some like it soft

      Kind of had an “ew” factor but thought I’d share, haha

      1. please no!

   5. For me to be interested in reading any of these (and maybe I’m not the target audience and that’s fine!), I would need the title to reflect a *much more* specific focus! Like what industry is this for, what career path, what title of person are you really writing for? There’s SO MUCH “content” about…everything…right now, that it’s really hard for a generic “soft skills at work” to break through.

   6. I like “Soft Skills Powerful Careers”
      And maybe a tagline like “Interpersonal Success Strategies for Today’s Corporate Landscape”

   7. I am your target demographic, and I hate ALL of these options. They don’t scream “this person has soft skills” to me at all! I think a lot of the successful people in this space just use their actual name and let the quality of their content do the talking.

      1. Agree. I would not bother clicking through any of these. They give me the vibe of being very out of touch with reality while also sincerely thinking they have their thumb on the pulse. Like many AAM commenters.

   8. Oh no. The turbo bit is at odds with the soft skill element, so it sounds like you’re trying to market extra spicy vanilla ice cream, or something.

      Who’s your target audience?

   9. I don’t like any of those. Keep trying. I would also learn a little bit about SEO and check out what else is out there first.

   10. This is something chat gpt is actually great for.

   11. This one is specific to Asia, but speaks to empowering women in senior leadership roles to thrive in political environments — it’s called “Elevate Asia.” Maybe instead of having the title include the word “Soft Skills,” it may be worthwhile exploring having the outcome your audience is looking for named or implied in the title.

       1. I agree with this. Is it about building confidence, expanding networks, getting promoted, etc.?

3. I’m curious if anyone here has any insight into who is paying Nick Reiner’s defense attorney? The attorney is a big name who can’t be cheap and I wouldn’t think someone who’s struggled with addiction for decades would have heaps of money lying around. The fact that he was arrested for the crime is likely going to make inheriting anything from his parents impossible and the probate process wouldn’t have concluded yet anyway.

   1. Wouldn’t his siblings have access to the estate? They could be choosing to support his defense.

      1. My heart breaks for them. And honestly for him too. I wonder what they hope the outcome is. While it is so tragic, i think it’s a bit odd that it shows up higher on the cnn, nytimes and other news outlets than the Brown shooting (where there is still a manhunt going on?!?) and the Bondi Beach terror attack.

         1. I think there just are more revelations coming out about it than the other two.

            1. Yeah. And I also think Americans are sadly pretty desensitized to mass shootings, whereas children stabbing their parents, especially wealthy, famous parents, doesn’t happen every day.

      2. The siblings likely don’t have access to the estate yet. It doesn’t happen immediately when someone dies. That said, I assume he and they all have trust funds and one or more of them is using the trust fund to pay for this.

   2. He may have a trust where the trustee is paying for this? I’m assuming since he has been an addict since he was a teen, any outright gifts to the siblings likely were in trust for him.

      1. This is my guess too.

         I would be really surprised if the siblings were paying for his legal fees, as others here have suggested.

         1. Based on my experience, it would not surprise me if the siblings hired a lawyer for him.

      2. That’s what I assume as well.

   3. No insight but likely contenders are that it’s the siblings/other family members or it’s being done as a favor to the family. My money is also that this will get wrapped up fairly quickly with some sort of plea agreement once he is stabilized.

   4. There’s a decent chance he still has some family support. As awful as what he did was, his parents clearly supported him through decades of struggle and the rest of his family may still want the best for him within the context of recognizing that he’ll face consequences for a terrible crime. They probably would want to make sure he avoids the death penalty, at minimum, which it seems unlikely his parents would have wanted.

   5. He wouldn’t need to be convicted for the slayer statute to apply.

   6. I suspect it’s his siblings, at least in this initial phase. It’s likely he has some kind of spendthrift trust as well – his grandparents worked in Hollywood and were rather successful. Also I strongly suspect that the family owns, at a minimum, several pre-1979 paid-off pieces of real property that could be mortgaged in a pinch (Prop 13 caps property tax such that sometimes a literal mansion only owes a couple hundred in taxes every year).

      1. I am so glad I live somewhere that ties property taxes to current value, not purchase price.

         1. Amen.

         2. I’d rather older people on fixed incomes got to age in place without being priced out of the neighborhood.

            1. Ain’t nobody on a (low) fixed income who owns a million dollar house.

            2. Elderly people could be exempted but Prop 13 applies to all property (Mr.
               Burns’ mansion AND Homer Simpson’s house) which distorts the market. It also applies to businesses like office and apartment buildings – I know several folks from law school where the family business is collecting rent on a small strip mall or a townhouse complex Great Grandpa bought in the 1940s.

            3. I’d rather young people can also afford to live and start families where they work. It sucks to get priced out of your neighborhood – but why should turning 65 magically make you exempt from shitty things in the world?

            4. And prop 13 doesn’t just apply to homes you actually live in – I’ve lived places where our monthly rent is more than the house’s tax value! It’s insane!

            5. I’d rather that actual families live in family homes than 1-2 old people with no children…

            6. In California there are absolutely people on low income with million-dollar houses.

               I have an aunt who (along with her husband) bought a small middle-class house in the early 80s in San Diego which is paid off. She never worked for an income and currently lives on her widow’s social security and veteran’s benefits (aka not much) but her house is valued at well over $1 million because of the lot. She does not want to sell because it is perfect for aging in place and centrally located close to her doctors, church, family and friends (and because she would be absolutely massacred in capital gains taxes).

               Which is not to say that I do not think Prop 13 could and should be revised – if only to except commercial property. But California real estate prices have skyrocketed such that a house can be worth a lot more than people paid for it.

            7. The idea of a senior exemption sounds nice until you realize it is (a) locking young families out of owning family homes and (b) yet another way Boomers are protecting their (immense) wealth at the expense of younger generations. I don’t have kids either and yet have to pay massive school taxes. Why should those who have had all the advantages of Boomerhood get yet another exemption. My county, unfortunately, just voted for this and I am Big Mad.

            8. They can sell giant houses they bought for, like, $10 and downsize.

            9. Come on, I’m talking about tiny houses that are only valued high because of location (you know, proximity to all things that declining elders really need easy, car-free access to!).

            10. My friend lives in a LA neighborhood where most of the houses sell for around a million dollars. The sellers are mostly seniors on fixed incomes that want to downsize or be closer to family so they cash out and sell. There are plenty of people aging in place, but it’s not feasible for everyone.

            11. Guess what else is (or should be) located in close proximity to all of those things? Apartments.

                If she can’t afford the house, she should sell, or her family should subsidize her living there. The broader California tax base should not be subsidizing her housing when she can afford different housing, and that’s what’s happening in the scenario you’re describing.

            12. Ain’t nobody on a (low) fixed income who owns a million dollar house.

                That is unequivocally false here in So Cal. Example: Many of the homes that burned in Altadena were owned by elderly people on (low) fixed incomes but pretty much any house in the area is/was worth a million dollars.

            13. Anonymous at 5:51 is right. It’s true that there *are* low income seniors in California who would be forced to move without it (you could also narrow the law so that it *only* protects primary residences). But in the end, this is a giant collective subsidy of older generations, that is out of proportion with the rest of our safety net and social subsidies for other generations. It’s a nice thing for the people who benefit, but we’re spending way, way too much on it compared to all of the other critical demands on our tax dollars (like funding schools, health care, etc).

            14. 3:49pm couldn’t be more wrong. Living in HCOL area and it’s super common for elderly people to still be in 1940’s era starter homes worth more than a $1mm and have relatively small nest eggs or investments, esp once they spend down.

            15. Housing should be housing first, it’s for people to live in. I’d love to see more accessible apartments, but you and I both know that is not what is going to be built when they sell. And if you’ve never gone through caring for older people in your family, you have no idea what aging in place means for people, or what older people having to move because of their home’s increased market value means for young families who care about their parents and grandparents.

            16. There is no good public policy argument for keeping a single old person in a 3 bedroom house they can’t afford just so they can “age in place.” If anything, you’re just making an argument for getting them out of that house while they’re still able bodied. Fair property taxes would do that, because the fact they cannot afford that house would become obvious much earlier.

            17. These are exactly the kinds of fights (between individuals) that corporations love. I personally think that homes should continue to benefit from the lower property tax rates. But I have a lot more sympathy for how hard it is to move when you are in your 70s and 80s, especially when you are going to lose 20-30% to broker fees and taxes than many of you apparently do.

                Before Prop 13, commercial property owners paid about two-thirds of property taxes and individuals the remaining third. Now it is the other way around. The law overwhelming benefits businesses.

            18. If it’s hard to move in your 70s or 80s, move in your 50s or 60s. Live in the amount of space your current family structure needs and can afford.

                Saying “but corporations!!!” misses the point and is frankly just silly.

         3. The reason it’s like that is because we had old ladies eating cat food and losing their homes. I’m glad we have some protections against sky rocketing real estate prices.

            1. A social safety net should ensure everyone has real food and safe housing. It does not need to ensure that everyone has the *same* housing as they had previously.

            2. The vultures will get plenty in time.

            3. I like social safety nets for vulnerable people, including the elderly. But if you were designing a housing-social-safety-net-for-the-elderly, would you spend the money in the way Prop 13 currently spends in? Like would you say “A program that hands some vulnerable seniors tens of thousands of dollars of housing subsidy, and some zero dollars, with an *inverse* correlation to wealth”, is well designed? Or “we currently give Geraldine 1000’s of dollars to subsidize her housing so she doesn’t end up eating cat food and losing her home; but if she decides to relocate to be closer to her kids so it’s easier for them to help her, she loses all that money”?

               The problem is that people think of stuff like prop 13 as “different” from just handing people cash, but it’s fundamentally not.

   7. Could the family have had him on retainer for legal problems? Sounds like he had a troubled youth and I’m sure there were random lawsuits over the years towards the Reiners. Would a retainer relationship still hold if the patriarch was dead? Maybe it depends how it was set up?

      1. He’s a criminal defense attorney, he’s not someone they would have ever hired for business disputes, which would be civil lawsuits. The son definitely might have had legal trouble before though.

4. Talk to me about being a SAHM or “retired” after 20 years in an intense career. What surprised you? How long does it take for the smoke to clear? How do people react to you now? Assume finances are not a concern (although always a worry!) and your lifestyle won’t need to change all that much.

   1. I can’t comment on the SAHM transition. But if you’re genuinely burned out (not just fed up, but physically and mentally burned out), it can take 1 -2 years to recover, depending on the amount of damage that’s been done to you physically and mentally.

   2. I was not in an intense career and for a bit less than 20 years, but I’m recently SAHM/retired/whatever you want to call it in my early 40s with kids in early elementary school. I have a hobby turned small business that is currently earning a tiny bit of income. Long term I would like to grow my business, but currently the income is so small (~5% of my previous full time job income and I wasn’t a big earner before) that it feels more accurate to describe myself as a SAHM. Being a SAHM is super normal in most places so no one has reacted oddly. Nothing has really been surprising… life is just much easier now and I have more time for myself, my family and my hobbies. I love to volunteer so I can’t imagine being bored even after my kids are grown, I assume I’ll just throw myself into volunteer work on a more full-time basis.

   3. I’m thinking about this (I’m late 50s but I planned to work for many more years – I also have caregiving responsibilities so I won’t be leading a true life of leisure. )My fear was that without my (medium-big) job, I would feel like a loser. It took me some time to understand that having the finances to improve my quality of life, and have more time for myself, makes me a winner, not a loser.

      It took me a while to understand this; only when I found myself at a conference, explaining to a former colleague who had gotten laid off that it’s ok to take time off, that I had the epiphany that I should listen to my own words.

   4. Your ego will take a hit every time someone assumes you’re *just* a SAHM/wife/whatever. You’ll find yourself mentioning your previous career, your credentials, schools, whatever, and be totally ashamed that you’re so shallow.

      You also won’t want to talk to former colleagues who are still in the game.

      but otherwise it’s great, i’m lazy and have lots of free time.

      1. Ha thanks for the honesty. I’m not the OP but have thought about this path a bit for myself too and your message is exactly how I’d react.

         1. a lot of soul searching, honestly, about what i actually want my life to look like and why my current situation is far, far better than what i had with my previous career. how i definitely do not under any circumstances want that anymore.

            but it’s not like you can run around telling people you’re retired because you have enough money, especially if you’re living a modest life. kinda hard to work into conversations. your ego learns to be less.

      2. This really nails how I think I’ll feel… I’m only a couple years away from LeanFIRE and I’ve realised that my biggest problem is going to be no longer getting the automatic social respect that comes automatically from my job title.
         I know that’s not healthy, but I’m actually kind of proud I can admit it. It’s a step.
         Anyways, how have you gotten past the ego hit? Do you find yourself pursuing other ways to distinguish yourself?

         1. Money helps with the ego hit, as does spending time with people who don’t measure their success by the careers of their friends.

      3. Wow, I cannot disagree with this more. My ego does great knowing that I got all of my retirement savings done before a certain ahe and then opted into a lifestyle I actually wanted and chose for myself. Like go young me for being aggressive with both getting money and saving it and go current me for being fully and unapologetically enmeshed in the work of mothering.

         I very much identify with that Cher quote about being a rich man. What a joy to be my own sugar daddy.

      4. Counterpoint, I’ve felt zero shame or embarrassment about being identified as a SAHM and can’t remember the last time I discussed my former career or fancy educational credentials in real life. The vast majority of my mom friends have no idea where I went to school. I had downshifted from a big job to a very low stress, low pay, low prestige job before I quit completely though, and my ego took more of a hit when I took the “lean out” job, so maybe that’s why.

   5. Oh my god, I love it. I retired after 15 years. I truly think that if you think you’ll like it, you probably will. If you think you won’t, you probably won’t. Sounds like you think you’ll like it!

      That being said, I don’t really notice how people “react to me” and there was no “smoke to clear”. Attorney in private practice (big law + relatively senior role in house). Frankly, the hardest part for you may be the dawning realization that absolutely no one cares that you’ve made this choice but you. It just was kind of an “oh, congrats! We’ll miss you!” and then that whole world more or less faded away.

   6. Im still about 3 or so years out of early retirement in my early 50s — however someone in my family who recently went through the same transition recommended the book ” How to Retire” by Christine Benz.

      I’m only part way through it, but have really liked the perspective. Its a mix of financial + personal guidance like people have shared in this thread.

   7. I don’t know, but I’m dreaming of this although it’s not available for me because I’m a single mom with a deadbeat ex. I have a super stressful job and a young child. I would love to just chuck the whole career thing at this point. I think I would deactivate my LinkedIn though, because some of my self worth is tied up in my career achievement, and seeing others continue in amazing (on paper, although I’m sure also very stressful) careers would give me major FOMO. Anyway, just dreams for me at this stage.
      I do know of a very successful partner who recently retired (relatively early) and remained involved in the university nearby (which is a very highly rated one), maybe in their executive development program. I’m not sure. It seems like she’s having lots of fun though, and keeping her skills sharp.

   8. I’m in my early 50s and took an early retirement from my federal government job earlier this year. I’m surprised that I haven’t been more motivated to find another job, but I’m fortunate to be in a financial position where I don’t really have to. People really don’t know what to make of me sometimes, and I do get a lot of “so what do you do with all your time?” The reality is that I spend a lot of time doing what I liked to do before I stopped working, but didn’t have the time to do. I have also done a bunch of volunteering and plan to ramp that up more in 2026.
      I’m not used to having this much downtime, but it’s really nice to be able to be intentional about how I am filling my days.

   9. I was forced to take a career break after a layoff and it was healthy in that I got to detangle my identify from my job. I’m back in the big job but in a different company such that I get a lot of freedom to continue participating in my hobbies and social life. I wouldn’t be able to use my big job as an excuse not to participate in certain hobby-activities (when I don’t have the energy to do certain things), but otherwise, would probably be just as happy, and may pick up even more hobbies :)

5. Any ideas for a last-minute white elephant gift for an office gift exchange on Friday? Budget is $25-30. The colleagues are almost all men ranging from 25-65. Last year I ended up taking my own gift home, so I clearly misread the room!

   1. You can get some lego flowers or other small sets in that range.

      1. Given the age group, what about one of the small Star Wars Lego sets?

      2. Or a Lego car. Somebody got my husband a Lego Range Rover and he loved it.

   2. Do you live somewhere cold? My husband just got a hat with an integrated head lamp from a secret Santa at work and he likes it. I see Target sells them as a ‘Night Scope Classic Beanie with LED Headlight’.

      1. It’s so funny that you say that! That was the gift I brought last year and ended up coming home with! I feel better knowing that I wasn’t totally off base!!!

   3. Whiskey stones.

   4. 24 packs of AA and AAA batteries from amazon. Throw in some smoke detector batteries if you are feeling generous. Whenever I’ve done it, this gift has been surprisingly popular with guys.

      1. Smoke detector batteries is a good call! PSA: always buy at least two at a time! One time I drove around at 3am to find a gas station that sold them (I couldn’t sleep with the beeping) only to have my OTHER smoke detector start beeping right after changing the batteries.

      2. Great idea!

   5. Lotto tickets are always the most popular gift at our office white elephant party

   6. Portable speaker?

      1. I feel like that was cool in past years but everybody who wanted one has one now.

   7. $25 gift card to Starbucks or another local coffee shop.

      1. Starbucks has committed massive unfair labor practices, and many of its workers are on strike, so consider a local coffee shop for this.

   8. The items most coveted at our white elephant were Costco gift basket, pickle ball set and party card game.

   9. Google “EDC” or “everyday carry” if your male coworkers are at all the kind of guys who might, say, carry a pocket knife or a tiny flashlight. Not sure it would work in my law office, but it is what by BF’s coworkers want.

   10. Luxardo cocktail cherries. Number one most stolen gift at the last exchange I went to.

   11. I really nice flashlight. Not even joking.

6. what are your favorite sneakers for work for 2026? i feel like the white/green look is out now?

7. Hot damn, that’s gorgeous. Wish I had the lifestyle necessary for this kind of suit!

   1. I actually think it could be worn a lot of places. I have the occasions for it. But I cannot justify the expense, so not really the “lifestyle” I guess.

   2. I love this so much and I feel like “society lady at a wedding” is a feature, not a bug.

8. Soft Boiled Skills

9. This might be the best suit I’ve seen in a decade.

   1. I don’t have a single place to wear it but I love it.

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