Coffee Break: Large Chain Necklace

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1. I would not spend $300 on a paperclip necklace. It’s too 2021. In a year or two it will look completely dated (if you don’t think it looks dated already). This is the perfect item on which to spend $35-75, no more. Save the money for something more timeless.

   1. I don’t think the Lagos and Yurman versions are paper-clips. They are just different versions of classic chains and won’t scream 2020 like a paper clip will.

2. I think it’s tricky to find jewelry in the mid range price because most of us are too smart to buy expensive costume jewelry. Costume jewelry should be cheap and essentially disposable. The real stuff is expensive and you keep it forever. I do not see the point of paying $300 for a fake gold necklace that’s going to tarnish and get thrown away. I can find the same for $20.

   1. This is why my jewelry is silver (and white gold back when I was a DINK). Real. Not expensive. If you wear regularly, it doesn’t tarnish.

   2. I agree that it’s tricky and that I wouldn’t spend $300 on this, but I think pricier costume jewelry definitely has a purpose. I have some vintage costume stuff from Kenneth Jay Lane and random places like Club Monaco and it definitely holds up and you just cannot compare it with the cheap stuff you get at random places. Although some of this is, admittedly, trial and error and experience. I can never say what will be that thing I wear over and over for years that definitely makes something “worth it.” So I don’t think I would spend $300+ on any of it but definitely do think it’s often necessary to spend a fair bit more than $20.

      1. I have an Alexis Bittar necklace that was $100; it’s very distinctive and doesn’t really have a cheap dupe. I can’t imagine spending much over that for costume jewelry. To me the look pictured is “disposable” – you wear it, take it on a business trip or vacation, and if something happens to it, oh well. I can easily find dupes of this look for under $100.

   3. Agree. It’s either high quality, or it’s not in which case why spend $150 when $80 can get you there. There IS no middle range IMO.

   4. Speaking of costume jewelry… Is there any way to clean it? Maybe not back to its former glory but at least make it wearable again. Toothbrush and vinegar?

   5. 6 – 9 months lead time on furniture due to supply chain

   6. I still remember people’s skin turning green from cheap costume jewelry, so I would spend $300 on this. And I kind of disagree on costume jewelry not costing more than $100 if it’s a name like Alexis Bittar, Kenneth Jay Lane, etc – there’s a resale market for that that does not exist for plain gold/silver/gemstone jewelry like what Macy’s sells. (Especially birthstone jewelry.) Paid $1500 for it yesterday? You’re lucky to get $150 for it today.

3. I’m not sure if this is the appropriate place to ask but I desperately need a new couch! Budget is on the lower end at $1,500-$2,000 and an apartment so on the smaller side about 80-90 inches. I also really want to test it out so need a store in the NYC/NJ area. Any suggestions? I like one I saw at west elm but not sure if they have a showroom to try it out. TIA!

   1. I’ve had good luck with inexpensive, smaller but comfortable furniture at World Market.

   2. West Elm has several showrooms in NYC and in NJ (and also an outlet in Riverhead with couches, etc.) but I have never found their couches to be comfortable.

      1. We got a new west elm sofa delivered a month or so ago and I am so unimpressed we are trying to get them to take it back even though it is technically not returnable. It looks saggy and awful after 6 weeks of use. It looked great in the showroom. This is the Harris sectional for reference. There are other sofas from west elm that have their own infamous online persona (check out the now discontinued peggy couch stories). We’ve had success with many other furniture pieces from WE but nothing upholstered. Very unimpressed.

         1. I don’t know if it’s just really hit or miss or if their quality has tanked in the past few years. I have a west elm couch that I bought seven years ago (the crosby, which they don’t make anymore) that gets pretty heavy use but is still in great shape. We’re house shopping and will probably want to get a new couch for the place just to freshen things up, but with all the horror stories I’m torn about whether I’d go with west elm again even though we’ve had a good experience.

   3. Macys furniture outlets in Paramus or Wayne.

   4. Do you have a Macy’s furniture showroom in the area? We’ve bought a couple of couches from there.

   5. Burrow has a showroom in Soho. Similar vibe to West Elm, and I’ve heard good things about comfort and durability.

   6. Do you have a Room and Board near you? They have modern couches that would be in your budget, and are better quality than the suggestions so far.

      1. There’s a room and board in Manhattan! Thank you!

   7. we have a couch from Macys that was under 1000k and has held up surprisingly well over the past few years. It’s the Radley 86 inch couch in the mocah gray and it definitely looks gray. We bought it 5 years ago and at first it was just for my and DH but now we also have 3.5 year old twins. We are moving to a house and need to buy another couch and i wanted to buy another one but DH insists on trying something new

   8. No showroom, but I love our couch from Article so much I bought it for our vacation home as well as our main residence. It’s stylish, comfortable and reasonable and I think they accept returns, but I haven’t tried that. It comes in multiple lengths and fabrics
      https://www.article.com/product/17812/sven-grass-green-sofa

      1. Thank you! My concern with buying and then returning is then I’m left without a couch for however many weeks or months it takes to find a replacement.

         1. I promise you won’t want to return it ;)

4. Update on an earlier post re “Katie,” an OMG disorganized mom, and her kid not signing up for an out-of-town tournament. Katie is neighbors with Helpful Mom, who has a kid also on the team. Helpful Mom literally walked Katie through how to sign up (and still: Katie almost missed dropping the kid off for the convoy and was late to the pickup). Katie’s kid seems to be pretty good re helping Katie navigate driving directions (but you can tell: these skills got developed with a lot of practice). BUT the trip happened! With Katie’s kid! And Helpful Mom is a saint — I think their kids are in school together and it is literally taking a village to have things happen. Time to buy Helpful Mom a well-deserved drink :)

   1. Thanks for the update! Glad everyone made it. Yes, Helpful Mom is a saint. Disorganized Mom sounds like she has other problems than just being disorganized. Poor kid.

      1. +1 to all this.

   2. This makes me really sad for Katie. My MIL is like that, and my husband has a lot of trauma from it. She still cannot get it together to do really anything, and now we have kids, I think it hurts him even more. And from the outside in, it’s so clearly not her fault, but a result of significant mental illness spanning a lifetime. But the trauma is still there. I really feel for Katie’s kid and if it’s at all a similar situation, urge you to do what you can to keep her kid involved.

   3. Thanks for the update!
      I’m glad that there were folks looking out for both Katie and Katie’s kid.
      I have to admit, between the comments on the post and the comments last week about the neighbor with the overly friendly kid, I was beginning to get really disheartened because it seemed like the idea of “it takes a village” is no longer valued.

      1. The difference here – a neighbor actually helped the process work how it’s supposed to, not one parent making unilateral decisions on behalf of another’s kid.

         I’m happy to hear this update!

5. What do I wear on my legs and feet in winter if I have a navy dress on? I have two sheath navy dresses that snuck in to my otherwise grey/black palate wardrobe. I would like to wear them but don’t know what to do for shoes or tights. I’m a black or gray (or black patterned) sheath dress, black tights and flats or booties kind of gal during the northeast winters. Should I be wearing navy tights with navy? What kind of shoe? I don’t know why my brain just does not compute the color navy. TIA.

   1. Black tights black shoes

      1. Even if it’s a pretty dark navy vs, more midnight blue-y? I know navy and black is more acceptable these days, so maybe I just need to embrace it.

         1. Yes

         2. Yes. Trying other colors looks dated.

      2. +1. I’ve tried navy, brown or gray tights and just don’t love it. I have a pair of earrings with blue stones (lapis) that i will try to wear on my navy dress/suit days so it looks a bit more intentional. If you like “nude” hose thought you probably can do that and brown/burgundy shoes.

         1. Times like this (and blistered feet) make me miss wearing hose. After almost 2 years in leggings, I can’t remember why we hated hose (and yet embrace leggings).

            1. Put some on and you’ll remember why.

            2. I love pantyhose. Buy control top and there is no sagging. I really don’t understand the hate. People wear really tight clothes that look way more uncomfortable than pantyhose.

      3. This.

   2. Grey, burgundy

      1. +1

   3. Navy is hard because there are lots of different shades of navy and it’s hard to get them to match. In my fairly casual workplaces, I’ve often done charcoal or dark purple tights with navy skirts/dresses and gray, dark brown, black or navy shoes, depending on the outfit. In a more formal environment, I’d be more likely to go with black shoes and tights, but a dark enough gray would probably be fine too.

   4. I would wear tall boots (black, burgundy, brown) and either sheer hose or bare legs. My second choice is black tights and black shoes/boots. Not brown tights.

      1. -+1 for brown boots, bare legs!

   5. Black and black.

      But this is the reason I scarcely wear navy in winter, despite pretty much living in it the other 3 seasons!

   6. I love navy. Based on what I own, I’d wear nude hose and tan suede booties; cream woollen tights and knee high grey suede boots or brown boots; grey tights with grey boots; black tights and black shoes of almost any type. I also like maroon tights with navy but it can be a bit Jess from New Girl for work.

   7. I like semi opaque navy with navy boots, or opaque brown with matching boots. I don’t like opaque navy because they are hard to match.

   8. This is why Navy is a warm weather color for me. But I do like nude hose and navy tights with it. Shoes for me are harder, but I finally have some navy suede shoes that look good with my navy tights.

      I don’t like black tights and shoes with navy.

   9. Honestly I would wear nude-for-you tights. I know, I know, you’re thinking 70 year old grandma on her way to Wednesday social. But I do see young people pull it off fine. Personally I would do nude microfishnets.

      1. Oh honey no. Just put those fishnets back in the 2010s where they belong. You’re better off with sheer hose if you won’t do black tights.

6. How many pairs of sheets do you own? Talk me out of buying my 8th (2 linen, 2 cotton, 3 flannel)…

   1. Buy as many as you want and will enjoy. It doesn’t matter what we have. I have more pairs of athletic footwear (and more black skirts) than I can possibly use, but they make me happy.

      1. +1 – I have an absurd number of coats because it’s my favorite clothing item to buy and they just make me really happy.

   2. Buy them if you must but leave them in their packaging so they are out of rotation until another set wear out.

      I own three flannel sets (one is just about worn out, I only like to keep two), three cotton and one bamboo. Bamboo seems too clingy and hot for summer but nice for transitional weather.

   3. I have 6 or 7 sets and I wish I did not have to store them in my small home. They live under my bed but I’d prefer to have nothing under there.

   4. 2 total, but DH and I both like to sleep “cold” so stick with our usual white cotton percale year-round.

   5. We have 1 set.

      But if I lived alone, I’d have several, to match my mood and season!

      Treat yo self!

   6. Two sets – one on bed and one in closet in original packaging. I wash and put the sheets back on the same day, but other people like to rotate. I’m not picky about sheets though and I don’t personally have a desire for a “wardrobe” for different seasons. But that’s me, and others prefer more. You do you.

   7. Five duvet cover sets and four sheets, which is a low count for me, but I’m changing bed size so haven’t replaced any before the new gets delivered. I love having different bedding to choose from, but have limited space, so can only keep as much as my linen cupboard can hold.

   8. One for our bed. We just wash them weekly and put them back on.

      We had more for our kids’ beds when they were little but now that they’re older it’s pretty much the same.

   9. One. I used to have more but I like the set I splurged on best, and I just wash it and remake the bed.

7. It’s not even real gold! You could buy this for $30 elsewhere!

8. I was just told that 2nd quarter next year, I am going to be taken off as lead on a big, high-profile project. I am still on the team working on it. This was a t 3-5 year project. It involved new operations, new facilities, expanded services. I am crushed that I won’t be leading it – it was important to me personally (not just professionally). I found out today, and feel lost.

   Part of feeling lost is that I am not sure what on my plate I should keep doing versus just handing over to the new lead. And part is that it won’t be announced for months, so I have to kind of lead it until then and it’s in early stages so decision made now impact the project forever. And the final thing is that I have a lot of work, but had built my work-life around this project, so I am kind of rudderless about my strategic direction for the next few years. Any advice on how to handle the next few months until things settle and I get to see my new role in this?

   1. Well, I’d start with a little time to mourn this loss and mentally regroup. Then I’d suggest making sure you understand why you are being removed as lead – certainly don’t want to alarm you, but that sort of thing can be a strong signal of other issues at play (anything from perceived performance issues to change in company strategy).

      1. I am definitely nervous about that. There is some strategic alignment issue – this work never “fit” with my portfolio (which is more operational versus this was a niche service) and it conceivably “fits” better elsewhere. This particular department has jumped between managers for years, but I was (am?) seen as a “good” manager so usually work doesn’t get taken from me. If I don’t get something to replace it, I will be quite worried. I already started looking around at what’s available in my field, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.

   2. Is there room for negotiation on this, if the project is that significant to you? If you were the intended lead throughout the duration of the project, and assuming there have been no issues or problems with the project, why are they choosing to replace you as the lead? Depending on your company and your role, I would challenge this a bit. Being an overly cautious person, I may also start looking for another job. Because this is an odd way for your company to handle the situation.

9. I have worked in law, mostly litigation, the past ten years. I think I’m done with practicing law. I am still trying to figure out my next step. If anyone has a success story of leaving law and what they do now, I would love to hear stories from the other side.

   1. Maybe check out your state’s child welfare agency. After a law firm, it’s not super stressful. Issues are discrete, hours are same, there’s a pension involved, and you (mostly) have a pretty compelling client, no BD, and no hours tracking.

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