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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
Talbots has a number of ponte and pique blazers right now that are kind of cute, especially if you want a solid color blazer in pretty traditional cut. This one stuck out to me because I always enjoy seeing polka dots styled with stripes — or in this case, the foulard print lining. It's also kind of a great deal, depending on what color you want — the pictured blazer is indigo blue, which is full price at $149 (as is the ivory), but both the black and bright apple are on sale, down to $47.99–$55.99. The blazer comes in four size ranges — misses, petites, woman, and woman petites — and I like the push forward notched collar, the princess seams, the front flap pockets, and the fun foulard lining. It looks great in every size range, and it has 88 great reviews on Talbots' website. (Do check out our recent roundup of How to Build a Work Wardrobe at Talbots.) Perfect Ponte Blazer
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Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
Has anyone seen NYT’s article on lack of diversity in Paul Weiss (law firm)’a new class of partners? Curious what you think.
Anon
Sad but not surprising. Also LOL at the firm claiming a white man from Spain is “Hispanic.”
east coaster
I mean technically he is, “Hispanic” means from a Spanish-speaking country. But lol at that as their claim to diversity
Anon
Yeah that’s what I meant – Hispanic in the diversity sense.
Equestrian Attorney
I found it interesting that it made the headlines, because honestly this sounds pretty common in most firms. My old firm would always have a huge spiel about diversity while recruiting. At some point I mentioned that seemed like a weird thing to emphasize since our recruitment committee, and TBH, most of the lawyers at the firm, were all white. The managing partner looked at me with bewilderment and was like “oh, but Enrico is Italian, and Michael is Irish, and I’m Jewish, and I think Joe the Copy Guy is South Asian- we’re so diverse!”. Nice try.
nasty woman
Old news for those of us in the legal profession. The comment section has lots of disturbing stuff in it.
Anon
Just read it….not surprising but very disappointing. I just left similar scenario in big tech to go to another big tech firm that does appear to be working harder in diversity – senior leadership comp is tied to diversity. At former firm I got tired of hearing from male leaders how I did such great work while watching white males get the promotions – they were clearly groomed by other white males. Tired of hearing leaders talk about diversity and take no action…the organization is going backwards…..in recent meeting they had 1 white woman on national leadership team and 1 Indian male….so glad I left.
Anonymous
I mean, at least they had one woman.
anon
and all the other women just below that level have moved on…..
AnonLawyer
The quote at the end of the article, from one of the GCs who signed the open letter purporting to support diversity in law firms, showed (to me) why law firms have no incentive to change. “But when pressed on whether she would fire a rival firm, which employs a white male partner she has long relied on, if it were not diverse enough, [she] demurred. ‘I trust him so much,’ she said. ‘I can’t see walking away.'”
Anonymous
Right. Like come on GCs. If you actually cared, it would show. You don’t.
emma
I thought it was funny that their response was that they “have better diversity than most firms.” I was in management at a very large company that has good stats on diversity- just turns out most of the woman are managers over secretaries, so the company looks good on paper, but in reality upward mobility is stunted. :(
I have this awesome (/sad) pic of me at a yearly leadership meeting where we go over the goals and I’m the only person in the ENTIRE gigantic conference room without white hair and a tie.
Anon
The firm has much more diversity overall than in this specific partner class so I don’t really care as long as there is evidence to justify the pick of this class. I wouldn’t want to artificially boost the chances of women and POC just to have a snappier picture in the NYT either – I feel that it cheapens their efforts. I would rather see a firm with diversity across the board and real commitments to promoting excellence in underserved communities of lawyers.
Anonymous
because all the white males never got an ‘artificial boost’ due to their race/gender? Please, they’re born with an artifical boost.
Anon
No, I agree they do, but I’d prefer to see more promotion of women and POC starting way earlier (including mentoring time and everything else) rather than scrambling at the last minute because the partner class that seemed best is too white. I think that kind of thing leads to backlash and imposter syndrome.
anon
I agree with your points generally and see what you’re saying… I also certainly can’t imagine any law firm ever doing that type of scrambling just for diversity’s sake. I don’t think anyone was suggesting that they do and frankly the idea that they’d seriously consider doing that is laughable based on everything I know about making partner/what I’ve seen in law firms.
anon0321
There are SO many more deserving lawyers than partner spots (/ceo spots/managerial roles)… so this argument always rings hollow to me. They should be developing POC & women for these roles and are clearly not.
Anon
Yeah. The 12 people selected to be partner are not the 12 best legal minds in this class year. They are obviously very smart, but they also have the right connections and as a result have had the right opportunities. There are plenty of equally sharp people who don’t get the opportunity to develop those connections, and that’s where the diversity stuff comes into play. People like mentoring people that look like them, so white male associates are disproportionately advantaged by a partnership that is mostly white men.
nasty woman
Exactly this. Not only will people mentor people who look like them, but there is still the biased perception that straight white men are the gold standard of law firm associates who can best connect with clients, want to/can work on the big, important cases, won’t get sidelined by having kids, etc….
Rainbow Hair
Right! I thought this partner I worked for was just a jerk, but it turned out when he could talk about ~sailboats~ and country clubs with the kid who came up to replace me (I was training him after I gave notice), he was much nicer. Fancy that.
Ellen
I agree this is a problem at law firm’s. FOOEY on all male partner firms. Fortunately, it is NOT at my firm, b/c I am a great biller, and the manageing partner has held me up as an example for the whole firm, including other partners, as the model for all of them to follow. I was so surprised when he made me stand up that I nearly peed in my panties! But it is true. To be a sucesful partner, we MUST lead and make the men KNOW our value, that we can bill and satisfy cleints so that they ask us to do MORE work for them (which result’s in MORE billing’s for the firm!) Once we show the men that we are better then they are, they will make more of us partners and eventueally, there will be equality in the firm. I know people like Paul Wiess try to do what they can, but as a very big firm, they must run a mill, and they have to hire more women like us to humanize their billing practices, and make people want to go MORE to them for work and that results in more women makeing partner like me! YAY!!!!!
Anonymous
If I recall correctly, Paul Weiss has a pretty outstanding track record for diversity. Didn’t the firm write an amicus brief in a SCOTUS case in support of abortion rights? It’s disappointing that, even at a firm with a strong commitment to diversity, some years you have no POC and almost no women elevated to partner. What I would want to know about the firm is – what happened to the women and POC that you recruited 8-12 years ago? Why didn’t they stay? Has the firm changed any of its policies in response to those departures? What are you doing to recruit diverse laterals? Basically, what is the firm doing today to make sure that each subsequent year’s class will better reflect its commitment to diversity?
Anonymous
I’m not sure how I follow how support for abortion rights means a firm is diverse. I know plenty of white men who support abortion rights.
Anon
This. Maybe the firm is politically liberal? Great. But that has nothing to do with their actual diversity track record.
Anon
Frankly, I think this article could have been written about tons of BigLaw firms in any given year (and probably most BigLaw firms have had at least one class of US partners that looked very similar to this within the last 5 years). Lots of firms make their partner classes look more diverse because they have international offices, but in their US offices almost everyone promoted is a white male.
Anon
As a former associate there, I can say that some of the women partners who supposedly represent women’s interests at the firm were the worst to work for and blatantly went after minority female associates. They only used the women’s committee to advance their own interests when it is useful to them. Otherwise, they often threw female associates under the bus and chose to mentor only male associates. So it’s not all boys discriminating against girls. I wish the article had explored this aspect of the firm.
Ellen
This has also been brought up to me, b/c most men do NOT beleive that a woman partner like me exists–they say I am to down to earth and nice, and they are used to something more like the OP describes. I do NOT know these other women partner’s personaly, but I DO believe we all have to fight for what we get, and this may not sit to well with men who must deal with women who are directed, focussed, smart, and aiming to win. What is wrong with that? That is what they are, so it is not fair to make us out as schrew’s just b/c we are doing what WE need to do? FOOEY on men who have this doubel standard! We should NOT cow-tow to men but must DEMAND we be treated as equal’s, not as subservieint. FOOEY on them!
Blazer love
+1 on this blazer recommendation. I recently picked up the grey on sale, loved it, and ordered the black. Perfect with jeans. I’m a curvy 12 and it’s quite flattering.
CorporateInCarhartt
Is it tailored? Also I’d love to know how the black turns out and whether it’s true black. I got the J Crew Factory boy blazer in black and had to return it because it was not black, more of a brown, which made me so sad because I love that blazer and have it in all the other colors.
Blazer love
It’s decently tailored for ponte (Not boxy but not too tailored), and is a true black.
Beach weekend from DC
I’m thinking about renting a beach house for a weekend in August for my birthday, and inviting a bunch of friends to come with me. It needs to be a reasonable driving distance from DC, have a nice beach, and would ideally have restaurants and some bars in walking distance. We are not huge partiers, but we will all be in our early 30s and don’t want to be surrounded by families. Any recommendations for beaches? Any rental companies to check out? I’ve never done this kind of thing before; any ideas on what the house rental will cost?
emma
We’ve done the beaches on the jersey shore a few times w/ friends- it’s not all party central (cape may is super cute!) and there are a bunch of cute places. No help on rentals because we’ve stayed at friend’s family’s houses.
emma
You can check prices online through airbnb, expect it to be a few hundred per night per person/couple. In my experience airbnb is not necessarily cheaper, but the trade off is that you get to hang out more because of shared spaces.
nuqotw
I think…. you are likely to be surrounded by families.
That said, we (family) had a fun day trip to Terrapin Park on Kent Island, about an hour from DC. There’s a beach and trails and it’s pretty.
I don’t know the rental house situation there.
SNJ
Think about South NJ – Avalon, Stone Harbor, and Cape May areas are all less than 2.5 hours ish (depending on travel time) and I think would be a great area for a bunch of adult friends. Quiet, not wild’n’out like Ocean City MD, but still have good restaurants and bars. Lots of house stock for rentals
Anon
Used to live in DC and my family has a place in Avalon. I would say all the stars would need to align for it to be 2.5 hours. I honestly moved home to Philly to get easier access to Avalon
Anon
Are you wanting a chill vibe or more of a party? For a quiet experience off the beaten path, check out Virginia’s Northern Neck and Middle Peninsula. There are dozens of quaint small towns with restaurants and shops and some local wineries and breweries, festivals, etc. You’ll find individual houses listed on AirBnb.
Anonymous
I’m thinking more of a chill vibe. Any particular towns that you recommend?
Anon
Check out Virginia’s River Realm (.com). It’s the area’s tourism website. https://www.virginiasriverrealm.com/things-to-do/
All the towns are cute (and teeny tiny and close together), so I’d start with finding a beach cottage, then decide which towns you want to explore.
Mathews and Gloucester are on the Middle Peninsula and not part of the VRR consortium. They’re cute, too – and Mathews has 200+ miles of shoreline, but it’s super rural, so it’d be very chill. (They do have a good little foodie scene going – it’s just like 4 restaurants :) and no bars.) Gloucester and Mathews are close to Yorktown and Williamsburg.
PS – the antiques in this area are so good and so cheap <3 If you see a ramshackle house on the side of the road selling antiques, it is totally worth the stop.
anon
We have rented in Lewes, Rehoboth and Bethany in DE – all great….also Ocean City, NJ. I have used the Berkshire Hathaway agencies and VRBO – very easy. If you like outdoor activities and a mix of things to do, I recommend Cape Shores in Lewes, DE for a lovely spot on the Delaware Bay, with easy access to Cape Henlopen State Park for biking, running, kayaking and ocean beaches…you can bike into the beach from Cape Shores. Lewes is lovely quaint town with great restaurants and some shopping. Rehoboth is lovely, more things to do and a bit more crowded….
Anon
Yes to all of this
bluestocking
Thirded.
Cat
Lewes DE might be a good fit (the beach is a little rocky but still pretty). We’ve been as a couple a few times. There are families obviously but it’s not like you’re in the middle of Beaches h3ll.
Owl Lover
Lewes is on the bay side, so its very tranquil. It is walking distance from Rohobeth beach, the boardwalk, and the real waves too. Really, if you pick any of these areas you can uber to a different beach/bar area each night, so its a great place to be.
January
The trouble with the Delaware beaches (and maybe NJ, too, not sure) is that it may be difficult/impossible to rent a house or condo for just a weekend during peak season. A lot of them have minimums during that time. You can rent a place for a weekend in Dewey, but be aware that that’s going to be a party scene.
Owl Lover
Omg, You have to go to a Delaware beach! they are WONDERFUL. Try Rohobeth (more boardwalky) or Dewy (Skews younger crowd) or Britney (much less party and more sedate).
If I were you I’d pick Dewy. Its more of a party zone, so you won’t get as many families, but you will get a bunch of teens/early 20 partiers.
anon
Delaware beaches>NJ beaches:)
Anonymous
Delaware beaches>NJ beaches:)
January
:) I didn’t even recognize Britney!
Questions for weightlifters
Weightlifting newbie: I’m working on my fitness/strength this year. I started lifting free weights (~7lbs) doing 3×15 reps of various sets 4x week. I’ve also been doing weighted ab exercises (20 lbs) and deadlifts/squats (~45lbs). But I’m reading that higher weight can be helpful for compound weightlifting like deadlifts/squats. How do I do this? Should I just be adding a little bit as I go keeping the same number of reps? Should I try to max out after a few reps? If anyone knows more about this and could point me to some online resources that would be appreciated too. TIA
Anon
Probably lower reps if you’re increasing weight. Your form is most important with higher weights. DO NOT sacrifice form to get in one more rep or a higher weight – that’s how injuries happen.
Anonymous
What’s your goal? To build strength, 5×5 sets are good. To build muscle, you want higher reps. If you’re new, I’d really recommend going to a gym with small-group weightlifting classes and lots of personal attention, or working with a trainer, to be sure your form is perfect before heading on your own and lifting heavy.
CL
As you go higher you decrease the reps as needed. You can probably double your squat quickly this way. Knowing your current one rep maximum is helpful. Let’s say it’s 100 lb, for one rep squat, then doing 10 reps should be around maybe 60% of that etc. then you adjust as your one max rep increases.
OP
I would like to increase my muscle mass and reduce my bodyfat %. Ideally I would like to have visible muscles (within reason).
Tippins
I recommend following a lifting program from a book. My favorites:
The New Rules of Lifting for Women by Lou Schuler and Alwyn Crosgrove
Strong Curves by Bret Contreras
Strong and Sculpted by Brad Scheonfeld
AK
+1 to Strong Curves by Bret Contreras
But overall +1 to following a specific plan that encourages you to increase weight as you max out your reps (ie, if you’re aiming for 12-15 reps, as soon as you hit 15 in all your sets, increase!)
Anonymous
+1 to Strong Curves
Lana Del Raygun
Unless you’re recovering from an injury or something, I would be *extremely* surprised if you can’t already deadlift quite a bit more than 45 lb. As a beginner, you should have a lot of linear progression (adding the same amount of weight each workout, like 5 lb every time, more on DL and maybe less on OHP or bench) ahead of you. Any standard beginner program should add weight quickly. This is your “noob gains”; later on you may plateau and have to change up your programming. (There are lots of ways to do this; cross that bridge when you come to it.)
I use StrongLifts 5×5, which some people think has too much squat volume but I obviously don’t. (I particularly like it as a beginner program because it has a free app that tells you exactly what to do, so the barrier to entry is about as low as possible, but if you’re already used to doing your own programming that might not make so much difference to you.) The main thing is to just pick something and follow it regularly.
Also, it’s unlikely that you’ll get more muscular-looking than “within reason” without programming specifically for hypertrophy, so don’t stress about that.
Keep good form and have fun! There’s nothing quite like lifting heavy. <3
Anonymous
Without knowing more about what body type you have/want, I’d suggest getting on a well known weight lifting program for women and just doing what it says in a systematic way. The two obvious choices are: Strong Curves and the New Rules of Lifting for Women.
Anon
Any recommendations for a day trip from DC within about 90 minutes? Because it’s supposed to be cold, we’d love to do something indoor/outdoor. We’ve done Mount Vernon, Monticello, Annapolis, St. Mary’s, Williamsburg, Frederick, and Fredericksburg. Is there anything left? Haha. Thanks for any ideas!
Anon
Following!
Pompom
Loudon County wineries? Breweries out that way?
Shenandoah
+1. Check out Bluemont/Purcellville/Lovettsville for western Loudoun wineries (and breweries if that’s of interest). Bluemont Vineyard in particular has an awesome patio with amazing views. And you can throw in a trip to Middleburg for a fun shopping excursion.
CountC
+1 Love Bluemont Vineyard and Middleburg!
Pompom
I actually just got an email via one of the wineries we used to like to visit (The Vineyards and Winery at Lost Creek in Leesburg/lucketsville area; a few others nearby like Tarara) about the Loudoun County Winter Barrel Tasting this weekend. We don’t live close enough anymore, but looks fun! g-o ogle it! Lost Creek is lovely, wine is good, and they serve food. Pretty drive in from MD side!
Anon
Baltimore!
emeralds
It’s a bit over 90 minutes, but would Richmond work? You could check out the VMFA and the Virginia Museum of History and Culture, then pop over to Carytown to stroll, eat, and shop. Or hit the breweries in Scott’s Addition.
emma
We are on the MD side, so this may not be as ‘day trippy’ for you- but Alexandria, the wineries in maryland (but not good for cold weather), Baltimore.
Anonymous
Probably a bit farther than 90 minutes, but Montpelier is nice. And +1 for the VMFA.
anon a mouse
Montpelier is good.
Also, Luray Caverns are underground (and always 55 degrees, which will feel balmy now.)
PolyD
Also maybe a bit more than 1.5 hours depending on traffic and where you are, but Charlottesville is lovely. They have some very good restaurants and there are some nice ciderys in the area.
Cviller
I always think Charlottesville is closer to DC than it is, but really, it’s a good 2.5 hours. Which is unfortunate, as we’d love to get to DC more often. It’s a long day trip, if that’s what you’re looking for, but perfect for a weekend away.
Anonymous
If you like art/museums/food, Richmond could be really nice.
PolyD
Oh yes, Richmond has a great art museum (said as someone who doesn’t really like to spend a lot of time in art museums) and also great food.
I believe they also have a very interesting Civil War museum that tells about the war from the perspective of Northerners, Southerners, and slaves. No time to find the link right now, but it should come up with a good google. Very thought-provoking museum.
RTR Unlimited
Does anyone have tips/suggestions on how to make the best use of A Rent the Runway Unlimited Subscription? My husband gifted me 6 months for my birthday a month ago and I still haven’t started using it because I find the website and choices overwhelming. I had said to him that I was tired of looking like a frumpy harried suburban mom and wished I looked a little more put together on a day to day basis. My work look is pretty casual and comfy because I’m on my feet moving things around a lot- leggings/ jeans, skirts and tunics are pretty standard for me. That doesn’t seem like the vibe of RTR, but I wouldn’t mind expanding my style palette as long as it still comfy.
Any one out there with a RTR subscription that can give me an idea of how you use it? I’ve used them for formalwear before, but I would love to use my subscription for something that would get more use.
CHS
I had a lot of fun with it when I used it. I spent some up front time favoriting a bunch of items, and then would just see which ones they had in my sizes each time I went to order. When you sort by available items in your size, the options should go down. I’d usually pick 2-3 items I could wear to work and 1-2 for weekends. I’d do one topper (leather jacket, car coat, etc.) per order for fun. I mostly picked things that were on the edge of what I liked, and was surprised by how many of the shots in the dark were winners. I also only ordered things that had good reviews, which again narrows it down further. In short, sort by available now, your size, good reviews, and the brands you like, and you should be on your way in the short term.
Anon RTR
Every week, I look through the new additions section (removing all filters for size and availability) and heart anything and everything that catches my eye, since adding in your size and availability later significantly reduces the pool of choices. This also satisfies my shopping “itch” without spending any money! Then, I generally look ahead by a few weeks in my calendar to see what work or social events/trips I want to have a fun outfit (s) for, and use my subscription to find perfect outfits for those opportunities since sometimes you will have a hit/miss experience and the turnaround time is not super snappy. Also, you can get incredibly steep discounts (up to 70% or more) to purchase items that you rent, so sometimes I will look for an item that I would consider buying, and can end up purchasing it for very cheap if I like the rental. Don’t forget jewelry and handbags! As the other poster said, use your membership to try novelty trends or pieces that are flashier than your standard fare. Finally, if you are taking a trip to a different climate, use the membership to get something climate-appropriate for that trip so you can avoid buying (I live on the west coast and often rent winter coats for trips east). It can be a lot of fun and I think it has actually net reduced my spending on clothes and jewelry.
Duckles
Order with specific events in mind. That doesn’t have to be “wedding” or something that momentous, but in any given month I might order a sheath dress for work, a gown for a gala, a fun top for bookclub, and a sparkly blazer for a night out. What you don’t want to do is order things you like that you don’t really have an occasion to wear; that feels wasted to me (I have a silk dress I ordered to wear to work with tights and it’s been sub-arctic and hanging in my closet for three weeks, ugh). If your work style is casual they do have some fun sweaters, though I agree it’s not the “best” use of the money– I try to go for showstopper pieces I get compliments on (crazy fur jacket, jumpsuit with cutouts, silk maxi dress that fit like a glove for a weekend getaway where there would be lots of pictures).
Woods-comma-Elle
Coming up to first wedding anniversary with DH soon (HOW quickly did that year go?!) and I had the bright idea that we should buy paper presents. This was a great idea until I realised he has already bough his weeks in advance and I have no idea what to get.
I’ve considered tickets to something (probably a sport event or a concert) or a book but really I would love to go a bit outside the box and would love to hear some suggestions! Husband is into travel, food, wine, whisky, sport, and watches.
Anon
Plane tickets.
Vicky Austin
My husband was doing themed anniversary gifts while we were dating because he’s a wonderfully major dork, and for our first, he printed out a google maps screenshot of the place we met, drew a heart instead of the red location pin, and put it in a nice frame. In the years since, I’ve dried flowers he’s given me and stuck them in the frame around the edges, and the longer we’ve been together the more precious it becomes.
Maybe you can make something similar recording your travels together, or to record your travels in the future? Maps and photos count as paper, to my mind…
Senior Attorney
We have a scratch-off map of the world framed on the wall of our house. A time or two a year we take it down and scratch off each state or country we’ve visited together. It’s fun!
Senior Attorney
https://brilliantmaps.com/scratch-map/
The original Scarlett
Not sure if they still have this, but Minted used to offer personalized framed wedding vows done in a nice script. I got that for a paper anniversary – it was small enough to pop in a bookshelf.
The original Scarlett
Looks like they still do – https://www.minted.com/gifts/wedding-vows-quotes-art
Anon
I had our wedding invitation framed for our first anniversary.
Rainbow Hair
Art!!!
Jeffiner
I made a photo book full of pictures of us when we were dating. Because we’re dorks I titled it the “Prequel to Us”
Vicky Austin
God that’s cute. I would totally do that, as well. Yay dorkhood!
Violette
I did a boudoir photo shoot and gave him a book of the pictures! It was definitely something out there for me, but I found a photographer on Yelp who had a lot of reviews talking about how she made everyone feel comfortable during the shoot. The reviews were correct, and he loved the results so much.
anon.
Best alternatives to Athleta leggings that I can buy on A*azon? I prefer the ones with stash pockets on the sides. Thanks!
anon a mouse
On a rec from here, I recently bought the HoFi high waist yoga pants with stash pockets. I like them so far (and the price is right)!
C2
Following – and wanted to comment that I understand why you’re looking for alternatives. To save some $, I’ve bought a lot of real Athleta on Poshmark and by stalking their sale section.
Senior Attorney
And I have a saved search on eBay for my preferred Athleta tights and I get them for about half price when they come up.
Leatty
Yesterday’s vacation thread on the main site made me start dreaming about another vacation. Since our daughter was born 19 months ago, we have only gone on vacations without her. At some point, I’d love to vacation with her (although I know it will be more of a trip than a vacation), but I’m not sure if we are there yet. At what age did you find that it was more fun to take a family vacation than a couples’ vacation?
I’d love to travel internationally (with or without her), but it will need to be Zika-free and under $5k. Flights will probably be our biggest expense since we are flying from FL and can’t take advantage of most Caribbean destinations. Suggestions on places to go with or without our daughter?
Anonymous
Anywhere in Europe.
Anon
“At what age did you find it was more fun to take a family vacation than a couples vacation?” Birth. Honestly traveling with a baby is a breeze because they have no opinions and will do whatever you want and really young infants can generally sleep anywhere. It gets harder after about a year, and then easier again around age 3 and much easier around age 5-6. The hardest age for us was 2. She had a lot of feelings but couldn’t communicate them well (true of all two year olds but changes in environment made it harder, plus the two year molars were killer).
The Bahamas and Cayman Islands are now Zika free. We went to the Caribbean when our oldest was an infant and it was great. It would be more work with a toddler but still fun.
Jeffiner
I agree, babies were the easiest. Right now your child is probably at the hardest stage, too old to be satisfied with just a bottle or pacifier, but too young to be satisfied by a screen. My daughter just turned 4, and trips have been getting easier for the past year.
Anonymous
If you’re not going high season and you’re located on the east coast, then Italy or France are totally doable on 5K. You only need two flights (1k/each), and just rent an AirBnB. May/June is nice weather and surprisingly reasonable in both. Kid vacations vs. couple vacations are just too different things. Totally different pace and way of traveling. I love how traveling with kids often results in more interaction with locals.
We’ve traveled internationally with our kids every year since they were born. My car may be ten years old but I have a travel addiction. There’s nothing better than your 2 year old begging to go back to ‘Litaly’ for ‘lato’ (Italy for gelato). Pretty sure he talked us into gelato every single day we were there.
Anon
We went to France a few years ago and saw so many American families with young children. In Paris, a lot of these families were at Luxembourg Gardens playing with the sailboats. Provence had a ton of families. A lot of British and French families vacation there, so it is pretty family friendly.
Anon
+1 to meeting more locals. That’s been the biggest surprise benefit of traveling with babies/toddlers to me. We hang out at playgrounds and meet so many local families. It’s a wonderful way to get to know a city, especially if it’s your second visit there and you’ve checked off the big tourist attractions.
Leatty
I meant to post this on the mom’s site. Oops.
Aggie
My kids were trained stroller nappers from a very young age. As long as we traveled with the jogging stroller, vacations were not really a change of environment. They joined us on miles of easy hikes and endless laps around whatever city we were visiting. I learned that the small things were exciting rather than elaborate plans. (My youngest enjoyed watching the mountain bikers from our condo in Breck more than Paw Patrol and gondola rides were thrilling at three years old.) When my two were under four, I insisted on a condo or at minimum a hotel room with a kitchenette and separate sleeping area.
Anon
Florida actually has really decent flights to Europe. I haven’t flown on Norwegian but I know friends who take advantage of those $300 flights. You might just have to do the math about their add-ons. Go during shoulder season (kiddo isn’t in school yet so summer isn’t a factor) for cheaper flights and accommodation. I generally travel to Europe for under 2K.
As for the Caribbeans, my friend recently went to Guadeloupe for her honeymoon. You can check the CDC website for info on where is safe.
emma
We travel a lot w/ our kiddo domestically (I travel a lot for work and her & my husband come along) and honestly just started enjoying it when she turned 3 and could REALLY sleep through the night, even in a room with us (and in general, she’s always been an amazing sleeper).
I come from a family where travel is normal, we visited my grandparents half way across the world every year and it was very important to my parents- and it still feels like a schlog to spend that much money and not enjoy it as much as when we are kid-free. I still think it is worth going on those trips, but more in a looking back way, than in actual moment to moment while we were on the trip way.
anonymous
“At what age did you find it was more fun to take a family vacation than a couples vacation?
My answer is a solid never.
Anon
That’s sad. Why even have kids if you don’t enjoy being around them?
CL
Does anyone enjoy being around their kids all the time? No one I know. And your comment is tiring and completely over used to bully moms. Just cut it out of your repetoar or find something more original.
CHL
Thank you!
Anon
No one is suggesting she should be enjoy every moment with her kids, and obviously we all have really hard days, but she’s saying with her kids is NEVER more fun than being alone with her husband. Kids are exhausting and frustrating and challenging and all that, but they’re also fun, and if you don’t see being around them as a fun thing I don’t know why you would have them. Plenty of people are happily childless.
Anonymous
Agree that it’s overused. Disagree that it is inappropriate in reference to parents who never take their kids with them on vacation. I’d be heartbroken if my parents left us behind all the time and never took us on vacation.
SC
No, she’s saying that vacationing with her kids is never more fun than vacationing alone with her husband.
I have a 3 year old, and I enjoy being around him most of the time. We’ve taken a few domestic vacations with him, and I’ve enjoyed them. I’m looking forward to trips we can take when he’s older. But the reality is that travel with kids impacts your schedule and limits what you can do and changes the dynamic. I don’t know if “family vacation” will ever be better than “couple’s vacation” to me.
Honestly, I’m a really independent and intense traveler, and I love traveling alone. Sometimes I crave the freedom of not having my husband with me on trips. Mostly, I enjoy traveling with him but will explore by myself while he sleeps in and goes back to the hotel for naps.
anon
“No one is suggesting she should be enjoy every moment with her kids, and obviously we all have really hard days, but she’s saying with her kids is NEVER more fun than being alone with her husband. ”
You have some severe reading comprehension issues. She did not say it is NEVER more fun than being alone with her husband. She said VACATIONING with her kids is never more fun than vacationing alone with her husband.
Anon
* repertoire
Anon
Not all the time, no, but you really think that a family vacation is NEVER enjoyable? That’s sad.
a different anon
Again, reading comprehension issues. No one said “a family vacation is NEVER enjoyable.”
anonymous
I don’t believe that I said I do not enjoy being around my kids. But a trip with them is not exactly relaxing. Alone with my husband we can sleep in, read silently together in a cabana for hours, have sex in the middle of the afternoon…with the kids it is a fully different, and far less restful, dynamic. Try to chill.
Anonymous
You need to work on traveling. I did all those things on my last vacation with my three kids and the ski vacation with them before that. Afternoon ski or swimming lessons. And kids will generally sleep in if you let them stay up later for dinner. Heck, in Greece the playgrounds are full of kids at 10pm because everyone has a sleep in the afternoon. Older kids also read silently for hours.
Traveling with a needy 2 year old is nowhere the same ballpark as traveling with a well traveled 8 and 12 year old.
Anon
Congratulations 12:33 – you’ve won for most privileged comment ever. Just go skiing or a jaunt in Greece! Otherwise, you’re doing it wrong! I can’t believe my little cretins don’t know how to read silently for hours.
Anon
Yeah, I’ve done all of these things while traveling with kids of all ages. Babies and toddlers nap and older kids are generally enthusiastic about going to kids’ programs or other organized activities.
Anon
I mean, sure, she name-dropped Greece and skiing, but whatever. Kids can read or play in a pool anywhere. It doesn’t require going to Europe, so I don’t really think the privilege in the comment is relevant. Most kids over the age of about 5 really can entertain themselves for an hour or two here and there and if they can’t, it’s time for them to learn.
Anonymous
@12:52 and you win for most judgmental. Greece vacation was staying in the family house of family friends who DH has known since childhood. Middle class Europeans are a thing.
And skiing involves driving 6 hours each direction in my ten year old car to stay in an Air BnB because we love getting outside in the winter with our kids.
But you enjoy your all inclusive kid-free vacation and your drive back from the airport in your mercedes #priorities.
Anon
LOL – oh just a family house? Well, then you’re definitely not privileged.
Judgmental is jumping on another mom for not working on her travelling. I travel with my kids – I know how hard it is. That’s why I don’t look down my nose at moms who find it difficult.
Anonymous
It’s not a question of ‘more fun’ or ‘less fun’ it’s like comparing apples and oranges. I enjoy solo travel, getaways with girlfriends, yoga retreats, couples time with DH, and family vacation but they are each different experiences. I don’t do solo travel post-kids but I can see myself getting back to that once they are done high school and ‘too cool’ to travel with mom. Or maybe not – DH continued camping internationally with his Dad every year until his Dad passed at 63.
Interior Design Help
Had anyone used an online interior decorator service? We are moving into a row house in DC, and have an open living room / dining room / kitchen setup. We need to buy furniture/rugs for the living room/ dining room area, and I’m inclined to spend a couple hundred dollars to make sure that the space looks nice and that everything flows / goes together.
In-person interior designers seem pretty pricey, whereas the online services look to be more reasonable. But there are a lot of services out there! Any recommendations?
The original Scarlett
A friend used Modsey and her place turned out lovely – I’d consider it.
emma
I didn’t use an online service, but pretty ruthlessly copied from a designer blog I love (Emily Henderson), and our house turned out amazing. I am always worried that even if the design fees are less, they are going to recommend a ton of furniture I can’t afford.
CHL
I also used Modsy and had a good experience. Based on what you’re looking for, it could be a good fit!
Anon
I used Modsy and was very meh about their recommendations, but I liked the room planning software and the ability to see a mock up of a particular design. I spent an afternoon trying 30+ coffeetables in front of my sofa to see what style I liked.
neg
I used modsy. Their recommendations weren’t earth shattering but I had decorating fatigue at that point and it was just what I needed. I did buy a number of suggested items and ended up with a lovely color scheme I never expected. I also agree with above, playing with their software was tons of fun. I would do a second room with them.
Anonymous
Maria Killam offers online design services. She will save you from “expensive mistakes”
Sunshine
I used Laurel & Wolf for two rooms – guest room and a very large master suite – and was very pleased. You have to be vocal if you don’t like something, because they can’t always get it 100% right the first time. Go with a premier designer, it’s well worth the extra money. They often have promo codes available online.
Bette
Best cleansing oil? I’m finally dipping my toe in the world of double-cleansing. I already have a soapy cleanser, but need an oil-based one as well. Thanks!
Cb
I just use a sweet almond or apricot oil. Cheap and easy.
Anon
I use ponds cold cream as the first cleanse.
Aggie
Erno Lazlo Detoxifying Cleansing Oil, hands down. It is expensive, but a little goes a long way – I average about one bottle every nine months.
For a more budget friendly oil based cleanser, I like Banila Clean it Zero (pink jar). It has a sherbet texture that melts into an oil.
anon
I use Klair’s Gentle Black – my first double cleansing and I love it.
Skincare Junkie
DHC Cleansing Oil is a cult classic, I haven’t personally tried it. Kose is a popular Korean brand, there’s the “deep” version (yellow/orangey oil) that is a thicker oil, which I prefer, and a “speedy” version, which is thinner. There’s also a whole world of cleansing balms, which go on as a solid (balm) texture similar to coconut oil and emulsify quickly into liquidy oil when it warms on your skin. Some balms I’d recommend are Banila Clean it Zero and Emma Hardie Morninga Cleansing Balm for a more luxe sensory experience.
Miss
I use DHC and really like it (I ordered mine from Costco). I’ve also tried balms (a Boots organic one from Target) but I like the oil better. The oil pump leaves my skin cleaner, so a balm might be better if you have dry skin. Mine is on the oily side of normal.
kk
I really really love the oil cleansers that turn into a light milky lather when you finally rinse off with water. L’Occitaine has one, but my favorite is Dermalogica’s precleanse. I’m using the Dermalogica precleanse with LaRoche Posay Toleraine non-foaming gentle cleanser and my skin feels so good.
lawsuited
Kiehl’s has one of these types of oil cleansers in their Midnight Recovery line that smells great and I have to imagine is cheaper than L’Occitane.
anon
I don’t know if it’s the best, but Burt’s Bees was my first foray into oil cleansing/double cleansing. I just bought a second bottle. The only downside is that I really don’t love the scent, but it’s not a big deal if you’re doing the double-cleanse anyway.
Anon
My fav three are Tatcha (pricey), Shu Uemura (pricey), and Clinique take the day off (this one is a balm). Now I’m using micellar water, which is cheap and does the trick and my skin doesn’t react negatively to it.
emma
I do oil-cleansing using jojoba oil from trader joes… as a lifelong acne sufferer (I’m talking multiple rounds of accutane), it has made a HUGE difference in my skin.
Sunshine
Banila Clean It Zero, especially in the winter, as it’s a cleansing balm and less drying.
Xarcady
I’ve been using this and it is really helping my dry skin.
Anonymous
I like it, but I don’t like that it’s microplastics.
Monday
To the potential booty caller from yesterday: did you decide to contact him? What happened?
Anon
I want to know too, but I think it was on the afternoon thread. I hope someone asks there
Ellen
I hope she followed my advise and did NOT go over to have s-x with him. That would be the wrong thing to do, and could expose her to STD’s, as he is clearly haveing s-x with other women. FOOEY!
Seeking dog whisperer
I moved into a new building about 6 months ago and have learned that my dog and another dog in the building do not like one another. My dog (3yo/m) goes feral any time he sees this one bulldog. The bulldog (~5yo/f) is equally enraged and it becomes a whole scene. We get along with the other owners but it’s still inconvenient because the dogs are disruptive and both of them get riled up. After we take my dog in from a chance encounter on the sidewalk, he paces the apartment and stares at the door and growls for half an hour. I also don’t know what started this–I don’t think they’ve even been close enough to sniff each other and “meet.” I’ve seen it happen but if I hadn’t, I would’ve had a tough time believing it because it’s totally opposite of my dog’s normal temperament. He’s extremely shy/timid but always friendly. We take him to the dog park regularly and he goes to dog camp when we travel. He’s met hundreds of dogs by now and he’s never had this reaction to another dog. Any insight for how to address this? Is there a way to help them get along, or can I minimize how stressed out he gets from these encounters?
pugsnbourbon
Our pug is super dog-aggressive. I usually carry really tasty treats on walks to help distract her – something like cut up hotdogs or chicken with a strong smell that gets her attention. In a more normal dog than mine, this eventually sets up a connection: I see this awful dog but mom gives me a treat; this dog is no longer awful because I will get a treat. I’ve had to start our pup on prozac for this to start working, but it sounds like your dude is generally more mellow so it might take faster.
If he stays riled up after an encounter, try distracting him with a favorite toy or a treat puzzle.
mascot
When we were working on leash aggression in our dog, we taught her to look/watch us (distraction) and then gave her praise and a treat, continuing long enough to let the distracting dog pass by. Basically she learned that these strange dogs meant yummy things and she calmed down with practice. Dogs on leashes behave differently than dogs at daycare or dog parks and it’s not uncommon for a dog to be a problem on a leash but fine off leash.
Em
Talk to the other owners and see if it is also unusual behavior for their dog. Assuming their dog isn’t typically reactive and aggressive and they also want to eliminate the issue, spending some time doing textbook proper dog intros with the dogs may eliminate the problem. Make sure to introduce them in a neutral spot (so not the hallway or their own home), walk side-by-side on a leash, make sure there are no distractions.
Shanananana
is the bulldog unaltered by chance? You would be amazed the difference in reaction that can cause with normally dog friendly dogs. This is why most places won’t allow them in group environments.
Anonymous
First, I agree with pugsnbourbon’s advice. Second, depending on how big the building is, could you and the owners just agree to always take your dogs on different paths so they don’t run into each other? One of the easiest ways to fix problems like this is to control the environment.
And then I’d probably get a trainer to come for 1-2 sessions to help me manage it. This happened with one of our friends dogs – and it started with one dog, and now he’s more reactive to other dogs generally. So I’d want to nip it in the bud if I could after seeing what they went through .
Chicagoan
Anyone else’s employer making them come in to the office tomorrow despite the HIGH being -13? Frustrating for a number of reason, one of which being we can work from home, they are just not allowing us to.
Anon
I’m in northern Indiana but yeah.
Anon
We can WFH (high: 10), but I will be going in because I have a meeting that cannot be rescheduled or done from home.
Anon
Why do you need to work from home when it’s cold?
If it’s a bad snowstorm, sure. But just because it’s cold?
Signed, a Canadian
Anonymous
Because it was too cold for the plows to clear the streets properly, and they’re now a skating rink. Not the OP, but if I could take public transit to work, I would, but I’ll be WFH instead.
Anonymous
Isn’t that what crampons are for? Some winter boots have them built in so you can pop them out when it’s icy.
Anonymous
I do not put winter boots or crampons on my car’s tires…I believe tire studs are illegal in my state, and chains are strongly discouraged in my town because of the damage they do to the roads. Unfortunately, my office isn’t easily accessible via public transit (would be over an hour each way in perfect weather), so I can’t just walk to a bus stop.
Anonymous
It’s actually going to be quite a bit warmer in most of Canada. Including the Northwest Territories.
Anon
It was -35F here last week and I still went to work.
Anonymous
Congrats! Do you want a cookie?
Cold Canadian
Me too. And isn’t it supposed to get like that again this week?
We’ve also broken the snowfall record for January and are getting more today.
My kids went to school every day. And, they have never had a snow day in 13 years of my kids going to school.
But, to be fair, we are more equipped to deal with it up here.
Except Vancouver :)
Anon
I would love a cookie, I’m hungry.
Anon
I also would like a cookie. I forgot my breakfast today.
Anon
The cold on Wednesday is once-in-a-generation cold for most of the Midwest. My Chicago-area city will have a windchill of -60 during the Wednesday morning commute. It’s not safe to be outside for more than a few minutes at that temperature and the are lots of us who have to walk more than a few minutes to get to work (public transit to office, parking lot to office, etc). But congrats on walking uphill both ways in the snow, I guess.
Anonymous
+1. Unfortunately, this part of the US isn’t used to this weather – people don’t have the right clothes, and cities don’t have the right infrastructure. If people are able to work from home, they should, so emergency services personnel can focus on helping people who actually need it.
Ottawa
I live in Ottawa, Canada and that cold has been a once a week or more occurrence this winter for us. It is absolutely safe to be outside in that temperature if you are appropriately dressed. I walk to work 30 minutes each way in that weather everyday (because it actually keeps me warmer than standing still waiting for public transit) and. I cover my face with a fleece “tube”, wear a hat and hood, a proper coat and fleece lined pants. I suppose it’s all what you’re used to. I only wish I could work from home every time it got that cold…It’s normal life here.
Cold Canadian
Waving at you! :)
The commute was not fun this am, my kid was late for an exam.
Anon
Hello fellow Ottawan!
Anonymous
Sure, if you are appropriately dressed. A typical winter wardrobe purchased at Target is probably not going to cut it.
The one time I got hypothermia, I was appropriately dressed, but apparently having a thyroid condition makes you more susceptible. It was only 20 below that day.
Anon
You have proper attire for the weather because it regularly gets that cold by you. It hasn’t been this cold in the Midwest in 30+ years. Most people don’t have proper attire for these temps. Using your logic, it’s “absurd” for things to shut down in Georgia when it snows half an inch because it’s only half an inch but they don’t have plows/shovels. Just because you personally can deal with this weather doesn’t mean everyone can.
Mpls
If you live in Chicago, the concept of -20 windchill (yes, I know the prediction is colder) should not be an unfamiliar one. Maybe not terribly common, but I would be surprised if someone who lives in Chicago did not have enough gear to dress for -20 air temps/-50 windchills. The gear that works at -10 also work at -20. Basically – I’m skeptical of the argument that a resident of Chicago can’t dress for this weather.
A couple of bitterly cold winter days is not that unusual for the Midwest. Maybe not *this* bitterly cold, but its not that far outside of the realm of possibility. I’m with the Canadians on this one. I guess the one advantage that Mpls/St.Paul have is that it is a car-dependent metro area, so there’s less outside walking time.
Canadian
Totally agree Mpls. It’s not like you live in Florida. You live in Chicago. I’ve gone to Chicago before as a Canadian from a cold city and felt cold in Chicago. You in Chicago probably have pretty appropriate winter wear, and cold weather isn’t THAT out of character. The cold we’ve been experiencing is also more extreme than normal, but we don’t stay home from work because people here know that cold is in the realm of probability for winter time.
Anon
Instead of trying to be martyrs, maybe we should look at science? It’s currently -11 in St. Paul with a 24mph wind, meaning wind chill is around -38-40. Which puts you in the zone of 10 minutes to frostbite setting in on exposed skin. Tomorrow the low is predicted to be -31, and if the wind is similar, puts is in a -60 to -70 zone, which is 5 minutes to frostbite. Roads are not currently perfect. I have offstreet parking but do not have a garage, so just getting in my car and waiting a few minutes for it to warm up is unpleasant. The last time we had a polar vortex, my brother went around jumping people’s normally reliable cars in our office parking lot. Why put yourself, your kids, your employees etc in a potentially dangerous situation if you can help it? People can deal with a -10 or even occasional -20 wind chill (when frostbite times are 30 minutes and greater), this is a different level of dangerous.
Anonymous
Also Canadian – I went to law school in a cold city and skipped class if it was below -40C (also -40F) with the wind chill. At that temp my eyelashes used to freeze together on my walk which always freaks me out.
pugsnbourbon
Yikes! I get weirded out when my nose hairs freeze – not sure I could handle eyelashes!
Never too many shoes...
It is a really weird sensation for sure.
anon0321
As a californian who went to law school in boston– they nose hairs freezing thing was the WEIRDEST sensation ever. I also went from wearing earrings all the time to never wearing earrings because a frozen rod in your ear just felt so bizarre.
Weather & appropriateness is totally subjective. My parents (& even their dogs) go bananas if it’s lower than 60 degrees (my mom legit told me she thought she was going to get hypothermia… just no)… and for us on the east coast, that’s the beginning of summer!
anon0321
Also, places in ca regularly shut down or ask people to work from home if rain fall is heavy… the infratructure just can’t handle what it is not accustomed to. Why would I want my employees risking their lives if they can capably work from home?
Anon
For the same reason Atlanta shuts down with an inch of snow but Boston barely blinks at a foot; why school in Maine is cancelled when it hits 90 or 95 but that’s when school in Texas starts; why a 5.0 earthquake does no damage out in California but could do a lot of damage elsewhere.
Places (and the people who live in them) are equipped for the conditions they usually face, not for the ones that come along once every ten years. It is stupidly expensive to engineer every place for blizzards, heat waves, earthquakes, tornadoes, and floods. Likewise, people buy products for the situations they usually face, not the ones they rarely face.
But thanks for playing.
Anon
I hate employers like that and would move to another company if I could. Mine is the same way (and I want to move) and would rather see my commute balloon to four hours round trip than let me WFH during a torrential rainstorm. I don’t have time for that sh*t.
Anonymous
Seriously? If I didn’t go to work in torrential rainstorms, this southeasterner wouldn’t have worked half of this winter. That’s a crazy reason not to go to work.
Anonymous
I live in the SEUS, and the way people drive in the rain (and the traffic accidents visible all along my commute) is enough to keep me home from work those days. “I had to go to work that day” is a stupid reason to die.
Anon
It’s crazy to go to work in torrential rain when you can very, very easily do all your work from home. Maybe you don’t live in the Bay Area, but BART can’t handle rain and traffic becomes even more of a nightmare than it already is.
anon0321
I’m not anon @ 10:39, but in CA- work/school being shutdown because of rain is not uncommon- and mudslides are not unheard of, so it’s not like it’s nothing. Plus people lose their damn minds and forget how to drive.
Anon
+1 this native Californian agrees that none of us know how to drive in the rain
My friend from Boston observed that none of us know how to drive uphill either. He claims there are traffic jams here any time the road inclines (a real issue in the hilly Bay Area!) Once you hear this, you will notice it all the time. I think he may be right.
Anonymous
Really? I grew up in CA and school was never, ever closed for any reason. The closest we ever got was early release when the temperatures were like 110, in schools with asphalt playgrounds and no A/C.
Anon0321
Yup! I’ve lived in nor cal (sf) and la (the valley) and had school/work cancelled because of flooding.
anon0321
YES! Personal peeve is that when there’s a stop sign on a hill, the car behind you does not give you space, so that when you hit the gas & roll back a few inches, you are always scared of hitting them.
anon
I mean … yeah? It stinks, but it’s not really impeding you from getting anywhere.
Boston
Counterpoint: I’m in Boston. We can handle snow, ice and cold. Except, our public transit system cannot. The MBTA effectively stops functioning when it gets that cold. I love the cold and am the first one to say tough it out, but if my transit to the office is insanely unreliable, having added more than 2 hours to an otherwise 30 min commute, ya… I’d like to work from home to avoid that.
Anon
The Framingham/Worcester line also runs behind in the heat: there’s a heat restriction on the rails any time it gets above 86, iirc.
Anonymous
To put things in perspective: It’s so cold that taverns in WI are closing.
Anon
-crying laughing emoji-
Vicky Austin
That IS cold!
LawDawg
My federal government office is closed tomorrow, so I’ll be working from home. Crazy that we just got back to work and now we are closed again.
Chicagoan
Its frustrating because the majority of my office have 20+ minute walks each way as part of their commute. It’s not save to be outside more than 5 minutes, depending on the time of day. Trains are unreliable in this weather and may stop functioning completely, leaving us stranded in the cold waiting for an expensive cab/uber.
commiserating
Another Chicagoan and completely agree! So much to depend on in this once-in-a-generation cold a day after a dumping of snow: *if* you can get to public transit safely (our sidewalks and streets are frozen over lumpy 6″ of snow), *if* your public transit has a warming station, *if* your public transit ran on time, and then the walk to your office. Chicago knows how to handle cold and snow but not this extreme and we don’t have as advanced of a indoor walkway system like Minneapolis… and guess what…? Almost all schools are canceled. This has always driven me nuts that offices don’t proactively close because it affects support staff the worst – they typically have a longer and more complex commute and most likely now have to decide to either take an unpaid vacation day or try to figure out childcare because the schools are closed.
Anon
Hearty Minnesotan here – my gym, which is connected to the skyway in MSP, has cancelled classes today through Thursday. It’s windy already and my city streets are only marginally passable in some places due the flash frozen snow.
In general, yes, I could make it to the office, I have a reliable car and can layer up. But when it’s this cold, tons of people’s cars don’t start, even ones that are normally reliable, and bad situations tend to pile up. It’s dangerous to be stuck somewhere waiting for assistance for even 20 minutes. There are always fatalities when it gets so cold, even here in MN. Let the responders get to the people who truly need help, we’re all better off if as many people as possible are safe in their homes. I remember it being as cold as is predicted tomorrow maybe a handful of times in my life.
Aggie
It was 30 degrees this morning and our schools had a late start. Also, all milk and bread is missing from the grocery stores.
Because: Texas
Anon
If it’s not safe to come into the office, I’d take a sick day. Not worth the risk. I know that’s difficult for some people.
Anon
I think in addition to the mom’s site we need one for Canadians bragging about how -10 degrees Fahrenheit is basically beach weather to them.
Anon
Bahahaha.
Mpls
Minnesotans go ice-fishing in that weather. So…it kind of is beach weather.
Anon
Hey my sister walked to the grocery store in St. Paul, MN this morning because it was just -7 and the sky was bright blue.
Anon
More power to her, but I still think she’s nuts. I live in St. Paul, WFH, but went to the gym and filled my car with gas today. I live 1.5 blocks from a coop and wouldn’t do it.
Canadian
But only if you include a quick conversion guide so us Canadians know what -10F is in Celsius.
312
Ugh, that’s really horrible. I’m sorry – if you can take a sick day and avoid commuting, I would do it. It could be dangerous out there – brown line had power failure today, metra is cancelling trains. I wish they would let you work from home!
Anon
Just started horseback riding again and it is so much fun. Thanks to those here who offered tips! Now a question for you – is there any hope of salvaging my old leather paddock boots if the leather is cracked and peeling in places? It exposes the layer underneath, which I assume is a bad sign, but I’d rather not replace them before I have to. I got them secondhand 18 years ago and would love to see them last even longer!
Is it Friday yet?
You can get rubber boot covers that slide on over the bottom of the boots. Not particularly fashionable, but as I learned in my barn working, riding eight horses a day years, it’ll keep those suckers going indefinitely. Also, good leather cleaner/conditioner (I use either effax or higher standards) won’t uncrack the leather, but will help it from getting worse.
Is it Friday yet?
https://www.doversaddlery.com/rubber-overshoe/p/X1-37070/
Though apparently they’ve changed the mold, so not sure if these are as good as the originals.
Fun story, back in the days that Dover was mail order only, my mom spent an entire conversation trying to get the rep taking our order to say “Tingley Rubbers” instead of “Rubber boot covers by Tingley” while my friends and I giggled in the background.
Anon
Maybe pop into your local cobbler and see if they think they can be reconditioned or if they have any real structural issues or if the cracks are in spots that make it more a cosmetic problem. If they’re peeling they might have been bonded leather and not really worth saving.
Anon
Yes, I think they might actually be bonded leather – the peeling seems weird. They’re Ariat, though, and it looks like that’s one of the only brands of paddock boots carried by Dover Saddlery (my nearest tack shop). Any recommendations for other brands using real leather? I know of some brand names for tall boots, but I pretty much seem to see Ariat boots around in the paddock style.
Anon
I know Ariat makes full-grain leather boots, I’d just be careful to read the description of what you’re buying. What you have might have been a budget style they did at one point.
Horse Crazy
+1 I usually take boots and chaps that are wearing to my cobbler – if they can do something, great – if not, I toss them and get new ones.
The Office
Any ideas for perks or morale boosters for an office of about 40 people? Non-food ideas preferred, as we already have quite a lot of snacks available, free lunches a few times a month, etc. Fully understand that the right answer is something like “support your employees’ autonomy, provide reasonable leave policies and good salaries, etc” but in non-creative fields where folks must be here, at their desks, to do their work the office drudgery can affect moods even in a place that functions well most of the time. What kinds of things might be fun?
Anon
Our company brought in a portable mini golf course and we had a little tournament in the hallways in and around the conference rooms. Super fun and a great break from the monotony of the work week :)
Anon
A surprise day off, paid.
PolyD
We get $50 Amazon cards when we do something “extra.” I’m always happy to get those.
My boss also used to give us “get out of jail free” cards – you could take off 59 minutes (I think it had to be less than an hour, for some reason) for any reason, and it didn’t count against PTO.
Anon
This, Amazon cards. In an accounting office, this is the only thing we’re allowed to do while keeping people in seats. I love the 59 minute idea!
anon
finally done being pregnant and pumping, so hit me with your best anti aging skincare products. the lack of sleep has done wonders on my eyes
Anonymous
Tazorac (Rx) – it’s magical.
Anonymous
I love the Drunk Elephant TLC and am using a L’oreal retinol creme on my eyes (small white tub) right now that is working really well but is super cheap.
Anon
No advice, but: congratulations!! You did it!!
Anon
I’d do a curlology consult and trial. They give you rx ingredients, mixed custom for you, for about $25 a month. I have a regular dermatologist and I still use curology because it’s cheaper! (And also my derm is not all that appearance-focused)
Sunshine
+1 – tretinoin, azelaic acid, niacinamide, vitamin C are all available via Curology. Tret is the best for anti-aging.
PolyD
They are controversial and expensive, but I really like the Sunday Riley vitamin C product CEO Rapid Flash Brightening Serum. I only use it once a day (because $$) but I feel like it has made my skin noticeably less blotchy and brighter.
Anon
I wrote about curology above but i also like certain products from Sunday Riley. I specifically like Good Genes – I see immediate results from that, and I use it in place of the curology about once per week – and I use UFO oil and the CEO serum under my tinted SPF every day.
Online matchmakers
Has anyone used Three Day Rule or Tawkify (or some other similar service)? I’m curious to know what the experience is like and if it’s worth the cost.
Anon
I used Three Day Rule in NYC – it isn’t an online matchmaker – you actually go and meet your matchmaker in person. I really liked it, and am in a long-term relationship with my second match from them. I thought it was worth the cost, as I was completely sick of using the apps, and this was the only other way I had to meet new, single men.
Anonymous
Did you get a sense of what type of men use the service? E.g., 30s or 40s, ready for commitment or just as footloose as most on dating apps
Anon
Anyone have a good resource for succession planning when you’re the young one? I’m a lawyer at a firm that usually has lawyers spaced out every 10 years for succession planning. I’m in an area where the partners are 75, 40, and I’m a Sr. Associate. I expect to make partner in a couple years and the stated goal is I will assume most of the 75 year old’s book of business within the next five years. I’ve heard for a lot of industries, many clients change firms/leave during succession plan transitions. The 40 year old will take some cases but we haven’t figured out how much as she has her own book. Any tips or resources for me to figure out how to successfully retain clients?
Cat
From the in-house perspective, we get worried when we don’t know the successor very well — do they “get” our business? Do we trust their advice? Does their “bedside manner” for lack of a better term work well with us? So: are you visible to the 75yo’s clients (from a substantive perspective, not “let’s all go to lunch so you can meet Senior Associate Anon, who works in my area)? I.e., have you been working on their cases/deals and participating in meetings, etc?
anon
I heard some marketing idea that you (the one who wants to retain the business) should have at least 3 points of contact at every institution. The idea is that if one person on their end retires, or gets a new job somewhere else, or whatever, then your link isn’t severed and you simply reach out to the other point of contact to maintain the relationship.
Anonymous
My biggest tip would be: don’t plan on getting the business. Keep marketing yourself, both to the current clients and to others. As said above, it’s definitely not a foregone conclusion that you will get the clients. For one thing, the 75 yo’s contacts are probably mostly in his age range, and are similarly passing on business. I’ve seen this situation in practice several times now and thus far, no one has “inherited” the work they think they’re getting.
transitions
Ideally, you’d already be working with all of those clients (including as the lead on some matters) and developing personal relationships with them (including face-to-face meetings). The retiring partner should also begin messaging to the clients that his retirement is upcoming (it shouldn’t be a surprise if he is 75) and that you are the one who will be managing the relationship going forward. At my firm there is a bunch of sensitivity about retirements even though there is a retirement age, and peoples’ ages aren’t exactly a secret, but partners have been reluctant to tell clients and transition them to younger attorneys until the very end (sometimes the last year), which is just dumb. Then the firm scrambles to suggest a random replacement client relationship attorney, and often loses clients. It sounds like that isn’t the case for you, but you should try to push for more client responsibility (both substantive matters as well as management such as billing, etc. – but may need to wait until you’re a partner for that), as much as possible, so that when the 75-year old partner actually retires, there is no real change to the client because you are already their relationship person. Don’t be shy – I went through some of this recently, and in hindsight see a few places where I could have pushed harder to get integrated into a client relationship but was more comfortable deferring to the retiring partner. When does the 75-year old plan to retire? If you are still a couple years out from partnership, that could be more challenging with transitioning relationships, as having the title of partner gives you a lot more credibility with clients in being the lead relationship person.
anon
There’ve been a couple beauty asks on the thread today so I’m adding mine – favorite shampoo for color treated hair? And relatedly favorite clarifying shampoo for color treated hair? My hair is looking a little raggedy and I think it needs a change!
Anonymous
I’ve been using the L’Oreal sulfate free and was getting tons of split ends. My hair dresser just recommended J Beverly Hills Everyday Shampoo. Apparently it has proteins to help strengthen hair, which the drugstore shampoo doesn’t. I’ve only just started using it but I like it so far!
Anonymous
Honestly, I love the Kirkland brand shampoo that is allegedly Pureology.
CountC
Pureology is my go to and they have a clarifying shampoo also!
NOLA
Pureology is my go to and they have a clarifying shampoo also!
Anon
I am in the refusing to buy shampoo anywhere other than the grocery or drugstore camp, so i like Garnier Fructis Color shield (red bottle) for every day, and the Neutrogena anti residue shampoo once in a while.
But honesty, the very best shampoo for color treated hair is anything that lets you go several days between shampooing. I go about two or three with the Garnier (my third day hair is ok for a weekend but probably not an important meeting, it’s uust a bit flat) and easily three with the Neutrogena. Shampooing is what washes the color away and/or fades it over time so do it as infrequently as possible.
Anon
For those who have worn Tory Burnch Minnie flats, do they stretch out at all? I ordered my usual size 7 and on my first day of wear, I think I should have ordered a 7.5. Hoping they’ll stretch a bit?
Anonymous
I find TB runs small and they stretched a bit, but not much. I actually go up a full size in TB flats versus heels.
Frozen Peach
Chiming in with one more beauty request. I’ve recently gotten savvy to the problems with parabens and phalates and am trying to switch all my body products so that I’m not dousing myself in endocrine disrupters on the daily.
What available-in-major-grocery-stores-or-target-or-whole-foods face washes are good dupes for Cetaphil? What body washes do you like? How about kid shampoo and body wash? I hate Dr Bronners, it dries out my skin, and so far everything else doesn’t smell or smells like old ladies. I will not purchase anything from MLMs.
Anonymous
Not sure if you’re still reading, but I like Aquaphor Baby Wash & Shampoo. It worked so well for my kids with eczema, I switched the whole family over to it. Phalate and paraben free, appropriate pH, cheap and widely available.
Anon
If you’re still checking – face cleanser available at Target: La Roche-Posay Toleriane Hydrating Gentle Cleanser