Coffee Break: The Sleep Styler

94 Comments

1. Question for you law ladies out there. Have any of you done a secondment with a client, to act as in house counsel for a temporary period of time (a year, for instance), or know anyone who has? I’m wondering about the experience, time for getting up to speed, whether you felt it furthered your career path (I’m 10 years out of law school in a non-partnership role at a firm, like what most call counsel) or any other useful tidbits. TIA!

   1. Have not been seconded myself, but two friends have done it. One ended up staying and accepting a full-time position at the client, and the other returned to the firm.
      – The request should be taken as flattering. Either the client requested you specifically, or the firm thinks you’re a good enough fit / will represent the firm well to suggest you do it. Or maybe they are seeing a forecasted slowdown in work in your area in the near term, and having you fully occupied at a client will protect your position.
      – It’s good experience either way — if you’re thinking of going in-house full time, having a realistic view of the role is advantageous; if you’re staying at the firm, you now get client perspective on how advice is valued.
      – Be sure to ask about how your time is billed / your bonus will be handled. Do you bill a fixed number of hours per day? What happens if you work longer than that?
      – I would ask about training/ramp up. There are aspects to in-house life that firm attorneys don’t have to deal with (like chasing down internal SMEs and approvals) that you might not know what you don’t know.

   2. I’ve both done them and our company uses secondments from our law firms on a regular basis. It depends a bit on the purpose of the secondment. When I was seconded to a company it was for a very specific project so there wasn’t much in the way of ramp up time. If the secondment is more general, you’ll need minimum 3 months to feel like you know what you are doing and more realistically it will be more like six months. I think a year is perfect — six months to bring you up to speed with the client getting some usefulness and then six months of actual value to the client. In terms of career value, I would highly recommend it, especially if you have ever thought of going in-house. You get to try out a job without committing and you have the opportunity to develop relationships that can help you find then then get a new position.

   3. I was thinking of doing this, but the manageing partner did NOT want me to leave my external counsel role b/c of the billiengs would go down for the firm, though UP for the company I would be seconded at. I thought it would be fun to work in house where I could work from 9-4, and have nothing to do @ home every night b/c there would be NO billing! But he said no, I am to valueable at the firm, so I am stuck here. FOOEY!

   4. I just finished a secondment with a tech company in SF (legal dept of 1; 180 employees at a late-stage/pre-IPO company). I was sent to cover maternity leave, but we need at least 2 lawyers so I am going to stay. I was always terrified that being in house would be boring (my prior experience as a paralegal in very large law departments after being a senior paralegal in biglaw) but it’s been anything but–never a dull moment. I also have an MBA, and find that my business background is very helpful. My role is basically baby GC – all corporate deals (equity, debt, secondaries, real estate), corpgov/board matters, commercial, employment/HR/Immigration, hard IP (manage patent portfolio), all legal ops (contract management/scaling building out the department/managing legal spend/reviewing invoices/selecting outside counsel), stock/option administration, quarterbacking any litigation with counsel.

      Adding to the list of things to worry about:
      — will you stay on firm website? will you keep your office at the firm?
      — how much ramp down do you have at your firm (noting I was worked to the bone until the day I left/had to hand off clients and had to show up the following Monday bright-eyed and bushy-tailed)
      — how will the firm handle any typical raises while you are gone ? My firm bumped twice, and I knew they were going to. Firm agreed to pay me on the back end…but I’m not going back. I would have more intelligently arranged to receive those raised
      — how will your bonus/pro-rated bonus or hours target be adjusted for the time you are gone? (I was well above pace when I left, and I would have had one month to “top up” my hours when I returned the firm to stay above target. I negotiated a two-week ramp back with the firm, because even if people loved and missed me, I probably wouldn’t be staffed at 100% utilization from Day One.)
      — are you licensed to practice in the jurisdiction of the client? Do you need to be? Can you be?
      — can you remain employed by your firm or do you need to leave the firm to comply with local bar rules?
      — who will pay your benefits/salary?
      — if you have to relocate, will it be taxable or reimbursable? Will anyone gross up those taxes? Will the company pay for flights back to your home area at holiday or set intervals? Can you sublet your apartment? Are they going to pay for lodging or reimburse you? Will they find your lodging or will you have seven days to find a dog-friendly airbnb in a super-hot market? (that was my situation….)
      — does the firm view this as a “soft out” to push you out, or as an opportunity for you to “sit on the other side”?
      — normal interview type questions — what is a typical day at the client? how large is the legal department (are you generalist or specialist?) what are hours expectations? can you take holiday on secondment, etc.?

      Hope that helps–if you want me to contact you, happy to reach out to any anon email you post. There were a few helpful threads on TLS too.

      I thought it was a great and fun change from being in biglaw for a while. Certain things took getting used to (open plan office, no Outlook/only GSuite, lots of meetings, being the quarterback and the worker bee, dressing down all the way….)

      Happy to chat! GL!

2. Ladies who have rosacea: Hit me up with your best winter tips, because my skin is a mess right now. Itchy, bumpy, red. The cold and wind have been BRUTAL in the past week, with no signs of it letting up. Praise be for Smashbox green primer for taking the edge off the redness. I’m keeping my foundation on the lighter side so it doesn’t cake up around the bumps, which I loathe more than the redness.

   I’m doing my usual routine, which is Cerave cleanser in the morning, followed by medium-weight moisturizer/primer; cleansing oil at night, followed by Cerave PM moisturizer and eye cream. I’m running the humidifier at night, but I don’t know if it’s actually helping. I suspect I may need a heavier nighttime moisturizer, but I also get clogged pores easily.

   Skin issues are fun!

   1. It might seem almost overkill but Retin A got rid of my rosacea entirely.

      1. I feel like I’ve read numerous times that Retin A is really bad for rosacea. Just goes to show how misunderstood this condition can be! Metrogel and metrocream, for example, were hot disasters on my skin, even though they’re really common treatment options.

   2. Not a skin care product but lots of water and a green smoothie every morning have made a big difference for my skin.

   3. I’ve been more diligent about using the metrocream at night, in addition to all the things you’re talking about above. Solidarity!

   4. See your derm – they can prescribe you things that will control your rosacea rather than attempt to cover up the bumps and redness. I use soolantra (kills demodex mites which are a big cause of my bumps) and mirvaso (shuts down the overactive blood vessels in my face so the redness is gone. Like G.O.N.E., not just a little better of less red). I also use a sulfacetamide wash which really helps control flare-ups (without it I flare up from time to time from heat or something I ate). For OTC stuff I really like first aid beauty moisturizer, but honestly if I am using my prescriptions what else I use on my face doesn’t really matter.

      1. I tried the sulfacetamide and it made my face look like it had been burned by chemicals. Did you have this when you first started?

   5. The Clinique redness relief moisturizer helped me when I was going through a ruddy face period.

   6. The last dermatologist I went to told me that the bumpy part of rosacea is caused by dust mites in the skin. She gave me prescription Soolantra, which has eradicated my bumps. I’ve heard that tea tree oil also kills the mites.

      1. Ooh, yes, tea tree oil is awesome for that annoying aspect of rosacea. My go-to face wash is the trader joe’s tto wash. That helps.

   7. I think you need to consult your derm. And then probably doing three things:
      1) Add/increase azelaic acid cream ti sooth bumpy, irritated skin
      2) Boost skin moisture – kudos on running humidifier (less dry air, less it will suck moisture from your skin), but add moisturizing serum (ideally with hyaluronic acid, ceramides and other skin-natural moisturizing agents)
      3) Trap the moisture by adding a thin occlusive layer (richer cream with occlusive agent that will not irritate your skin).
      I have sensitive skin and do the following in freezing winters – gentle cleanse with SLS-free cleansing gel, pat dry. Apply 20% azelaic acid cream, let absorb, then apply a few of Paula’s Choice products (antioxidant serum, calming serum, antioxidant moisturizer), then finish with a decent layer of Physiogel cream. After it has absorbed, I apply makeup foundation and rest of party. Sounds like tons of product, but you will get used to it a d most of them are lightweight. I also take Allegra tablets when my skin is extra itchy (I suspect allergens in dust).

   8. My dermatologist-diagnosed rosacea disappeared forever after I was diagnosed with celiac disease and went gluten-free. So mine was apparently not rosacea but a symptom of my intolerance. My new dermatologist said it’s not the first case she’s seen like that. YMMV

   9. I use Retin A, azelaic acid, and Dr Jart Cicapair anti redness cream. And very heavy duty night moisturizer!

   10. Cerave is terrible for my rosacea; I get the same reaction as the people who post pictures and negative reviews on Amazon. So don’t assume that it’s gentle enough if you haven’t experimented with using something else yet.

       1. Cerave has been really good overall and has done more than much pricier options I’ve tried. It just doesn’t seem to be quite enough right now due to the weather.

          Cetaphil, on the other hand — ugh, I hate that stuff. So harsh.

   11. Squalane (not squalene) oil has done wonders for me. Best applied immediately out of the shower, but it’s made a huge difference. At this point, other than a very light Neutrogena titanium dioxide sunblock, it’s the only moisturizer I use, and this was after two winters of eyelids swollen with dermatitis.

3. Where should I go on my 2nd vacation to the UK? Currently, it’s looking like either York and the east coast, or Wales. We’ll also need to add a family visit to Cambridge/Norwich, but we explored that area on my 1st trip.
   Just me and DH, unless MIL and FIL tag along for parts of the itinerary. They have a car; last time it was pretty scary when we tried to drive ourselves. 16 days including travel time. Our interests are history, natural history, anything except drinking.

   1. When in the year will you be going? Wales is beautiful and would be great if you like hiking but I think would be difficult without your own car. York is very walkable and you could get to know it as a good base over a couple of weeks with day trips (on the train) to Durham, Newcastle, the coastal towns like Whitby, maybe up to the archaeological sites near Hadrian’s Wall, the moors if you do like walking, the castles and ruins (Rievaulx Abbey is amazing). Then Cambridge/Norwich via a night in Lincoln.

      1. Most likely early September, but time of year is negotiable.

   2. I would go to York, and then ship home a crate or 2 of peppermint patties, and see if you can get them DUTY FREE! I would eat a crate myself, b/c I really do NOT care that much about wether men want me for me or for my tuchus. FOOEY!

   3. Agree with this. I’ve spent a lot of time in Wales, and it’s great, but we always get a car. You can do it without one, but you’ll spend a lot of time waiting for the bus.
      Where did you go the first time? If you don’t want to drive, I’d think about Oxford/Cotswolds/Bath. Historic small cities with good transit links to the countryside for some gentle walking. You could also rent a canalboat for a different kind of adventure. York is also a solid choice.

   4. I’d vote York and East coast – you could go up to Newcastle / Northumberland from there, and Edinburgh also stunning. Lots of beautiful countryside but lots of stately homes / interesting cities / Hadrian’s Wall as mentioned so would give it the edge over Wales for me (where it’s more a focus purely on the natural beauty). You could also use trains to get around a bit easier.

4. Looking these rollers up on Amazon these are huge! And bulky! It looks like you wrapped your hair in a small towel.

   Ladies do yourself a favor and go with the easy peasy Wrap Snap & Go Comfort Hair Rollers. I’ve been using them for years. They are smaller (but you look less crazy and they’re leopard print!), but if you want bigger curls just wrap a larger section in the curler. It’s basically a soft foam/cotton roller that you roll your hair in and snap closed with a snap button. It’s like sleeping on cotton. With these you really do have to use a holding product or use on wet hair to set the curls, and the curls will come out a little messy if you haphazardly roll them like I do – but they look professional if you actually part your hair in even sections and roll with a parting and curl direction in mind.
   When I’m lazy I usually put my hair in a loose pony on top of my head with a big scrunchy and just curl the ends with three or four of these – results in soft loose waves that start around your neck area.

   1. Who cares what you look like when you’re setting your hair overnight??

      1. You’re right who cares. I was referring to their size. Have you seen pictures of them applied to someone’s head? It doesn’t seem possible to sleep in those adequately. Google and tell me you think that can be comfortable. The alternative is much smaller and made of durable thick cotton not foam.

         1. But…a smaller roller means smaller curls. If you want the bigger, wavier ones, you wouldn’t want to use the smaller rollers
            I mean, my mom talks about rolling her hair over juice cans (the cardboard ones from the freezer section, I think?) and sleeping on those. So, I can’t imagine these are really that bad.

5. Is it a new thing that LinkedIn is telling people when your birthday is? Creepy.

   1. No, it’s not new. I refuse to give them my birthdate for that reason.

6. So….they’re rag rollers.

   1. They are rag rollers for the #sidehustle set

7. Ladies with clean desks, what are your habits? Signed, just dug out and organized and now my office looks like a snow drift again

   1. Never print anything.

      1. +1. And if you have colleagues/assistants/etc. that print things and bring them to you rather than emailing when it’s not necessary, let them know you really don’t need the hard copies.

   2. Hi, I have a very clean desk. Simply laptop and lamp…..cannot stand clutter or extra junk on the desk. My tips: sort through incoming paper (mail, other docs) that your attention ASAP. I do not keep paper files – just electronic files. You can can and archive anything that is important (receipts, bills). I have 1 active folder for paper that needs attention for more than 1 day (kept in a drawer out of sight). This is an ongoing habit you have to get into – there are days when the pile of paper to be sorted/addressed/actioned gets a little bigger and requires more attention.

      1. And I never print anything unless I have to!

   3. There was a post on Ask a Manager about this same topic. I think it was last week. Lots of tips in the comments.

   4. A place for everything and everything in its place.

      It sounds cliche but it really works.

   5. I agree with the advice to avoid printing anything. I started using my laptop for meetings, etc.

      I also make a point of clearing my desk every night before I leave (tossing stuff I don’t need, keeping stuff I do).

      Oh, and I have 3 baskets on my desk. I got them on Amazon – they are the Whitmor Rattique kind in a neutral color. 2 I use for keeping loose papers (1 is for “stuff I need tomorrow” and 1 is for “stuff I may need in the next few weeks). I dump all loose papers in there and go through them once a week. It at least prevents the “papers all over the desk” look even if they are not in fact organized. I have a 3 smaller basket where I drop paper clips, binder clips, pens, pencils, etc.

   6. I file everything as soon as possible. I only keep out what I am working on at the moment. I don’t print out things, but keep electronic records instead. (My job requires I still keep paper files, but I keep those super organized and only have out the file I am actively working on.) At the end of the day, I close up each file and put it away.

8. If you hate your hair that much, how about a perm or chemical straightening? That should give some consistency to the shape of your curls and maybe you’d feel less inclined to ‘shake your fist’?

   1. I’ve had keratin treatments and felt like they made my hair look more oily/less volume. I just tried a gloss and don’t like it. I hadn’t seriously considered a perm (I saw too many friends get them in the 80s!) and I only had one friend who swore by Japanese straightening on her bangs but at the slightest growth it would get all frizzy and kinky — so it seemed like too much time in the hair salon. Am I wrong? Which treatments should I consider? I like that my hair right now can, in theory, be a 10 if I just go for a quick 45 minute blowout when I need it, so long as I have a recent(ish) cut.

      1. Another idea:
         Have you tried Curly Girl method? Check out the subreddit for curly hair!

         1. I’ve tried it like 3x over the past 10 years or so with short, medium, and long hair … even got at least two “curly” cuts at Devachon in Soho. The curly days looked better (maybe a 5 or a 6) but the cut looked horrible when I tried to blow it out — super choppy in random ways with lots of cowlicks — so it was just like committing to a maximum of 6.

            1. Maybe try some parts of Curly Girl routine but skip the cuts? I have curly hair but prefer it blown out. Probably 20 days out of the month, it’s curly. But because I like it blown out the best, I won’t get a curly cut. I’ve gotten much better at getting it to look really good curly by embracing products, mostly, and letting it dry on it’s on timeline–sloooowwwlly. Going curly cuts the amount of hands-on time significantly but it still takes a good long while to get out of the house because I have to let it dry without touching it for an hour+.

            2. Curly cuts were disastrous for me for the reasons you mention. My hair (and curls) look best with a shoulder length cut with plenty of layers to help the curls perk up.

               I’m the opposite of the poster below. My hair isn’t dry, but I do need products that provide a fair amount of “coating” to help it keep it together ha. I use Pantene Repair and Protect shampoo and condition everyday and follow with “plopping” my hair and Marc Anthony Strictly Curls Curl Envy Perfect Curl Cream (ignore the truly cheesy packaging). I air dry on my way to work (I drive, so I just turn the vents in the car toward my face and it’s like diffusing it on the way to work :) ).

            3. Kat, that’s because Curly Girl cuts are meant to go with the curl and work with the parts that are curly and straight, so if you blew it out, it would look like a mess. I’m not sure you could have it both ways. If you get a regular precision cut, it will look good blown out, but not curly because the curls aren’t working the same way.

      2. There are some really good perms out there if you’re interested. My curls are natural (second the poster above encouraging you to try Curly Girl), but I know a couple of people who have gotten perms recently, and they look fab.

         1. You could look into a perm with a the curl pattern larger than your natural curl pattern to calm things down.

   2. I fully believe the curly girl method is the way to go. I have slightly more curly than wavy curls, and since i’ve quit washing my hair and conditioning it, I would say my hair is a solid 5 every day. Some days, are in the 7-8 range, but rarely does it get worse than a 5. (Out of 10). If my hair was more naturally curly I think I would have better luck, which it sounds like you do.

      1. I meant I’ve quit washing my hair, and I only use conditioner. In retrospect that sounded pretty confusing.

         1. Owl lover me too!- I follow a very strict co-washing method that is very focused on ingredients (look up ‘curly girls! (conditioner-washing group for women)’ on fb). I did what I thought was cg before this, and being really militant about the ingredients (not just trusting something is silicone free because the marketing says so) the last year had made a huge difference!

9. I’m planning a trip to Salt Lake City in April for a few days, alongside a trip out there for work. What are your favorite things to do in SLC? I’ve been a couple times, but didn’t really see much outside of downtown.

   Also, I tend to struggle a bit with the altitude change, so any tips for that would be helpful as well. Thanks!

   1. Temple square is cool to see — be aware that there’s an element of evangilism, but if you go in with an anthropology/sociology mindset (pretending youre writing a book on modern Mormonism, for example) then it’s interesting. I love the fried chicken sandwiches at Pretty Bird, downtown. The ninth and ninth neighborhood is adorable- Pago has great cocktails and dinner, and there’s a great independent bookstore called The King’s English.
      As for the altitude- drink A LOT of water, and take a dramamine when you go to bed- it will help you get deep restful sleep.

      1. It’s funny, I don’t find SLC or even Park City and that area to have the altitude to cause problems. I mean, drink lots of water anyway, but I wouldn’t be too worried about it.

         Also, go up to Park City. It’s a short drive.

         1. Agree on the altitude, it’s only 4200 feet. It’s super dry, which can give you a headache, but the headache shouldn’t be from the altitude.

   2. On the high altitude piece, I pound Gatorade as soon as I land. I’m not usually a fan because of all of the sugar, but I think it really works for this purpose (fluids + carbs + electrolytes), and I travel to a lot of high altitude places and typically go hiking the next day. Before I started doing this, I’d get headaches / nausea from the altitude. I also try to eat healthy and don’t drink alcohol for the first day or two.

   3. For altitude, drink a ton of water and limit adult beverages.

      Do you like hiking or being outdoors?
      City Creek Canyon – very close to the capitol. Memory Grove is a nice park to walk around near there too.
      Liberty Park
      Bonneville Shoreline Trail – Start near Red Butte Garden and the university
      Any higher trails will probably have snow. If you are inclined, you could rent snowshoes and do Mill Creek Canyon or something up Big Cottonwood Canyon.

      9th and 9th is a cute little area in a neighborhood. City Creek Mall is a nice mall downtown, but it really is just a mall with all of your typical mall stores.

      If you feel like driving a little ways:
      Olympic Park
      Park City
      Antelope Island if you want to see the Great Salt Lake

   4. If you like the outdoors, this is the place. City Creek Canyon/Memory Grove is a beautiful, accessible hike that you can walk to from downtown. Other relatively easy hikes include Ensign Peak (from the Avenues neighborhood – the views from the summit of the Great Salt Lake and city are great) and Living Room (from the U of U campus – views only of the valley, but the rock formations, which vaguely look like furniture in a living room, are a lot of fun). If you have a car there are tons more options up Millcreek and Cottonwood Canyons, in the Park City area, and down around Provo.

      Park City is a cute resort town with high end art galleries, fine dining, etc. One of my favorite things to do is take the funicular at Deer Valley up to get a drink on the patio at the St. Regis.

      The pioneer museum at Temple Square and the natural history museum at the U of U are both pretty good. If you like street art I’d recommend hitting up the Gateway mall (but be careful in the surrounding area after dark) for the galleries and murals.

      The Gigal Sculpture Garden is weird and very instagrammable. So too the Sprial Jetty, though that’s a few hours away.

      For food, Red Iguana is the #1 recommended spot. The hottest dining district right now is around Main Street across from the old courthouse (White Horse, London Bell, Takashi, Ramen Bar, Alibi, The Rest). The dining in the 9th and 9th area is also very good if you’re looking to get out of downtown (Pago, Freshies, Manolis, Tradition, East Liberty Tap House) and there’s another hot spot in the Granary District (Water Witch, Laziz, Proper Burger, Publik)

      1. Definitely go to the Red Iguana. Best Mexican food around. I grew up in SLC and go whenever I can. I think they’ve opened a few other locations but the one on North Temple is the original and the best.

10. Public accounting folks – what do you wish you knew before you got into the field?

    1. I love what I do, first and foremost. It’s interesting, it’s varied, you get to know a ton about people.

       Some observations:

       1. The big 4 is not the be all end all. For the vast majority of people it is not sustainable to work those hours for longer than a few years.
       2. Among regional and local firms there is a huge amount of variety in terms of busy season hours, leadership personality types, etc. Once you work somewhere you’ll be able to get a feel for what things are like at other firms.
       3. Turnover is high no matter where you work, so try to get along well with your coworkers and stay in touch with them after they quit, because they are going to be amazing for networking purposes later.
       4. Tax is surprisingly political. Be prepared to listen to presenters talking about their political views and doing a fair amount of political sniping at continuing education events. I do a lot of internal eye-rolling.
       5. You will spend more time with your coworkers than your actual family. It is really easy to slide into unprofessional boundary crossing because of the amount of time you spend together.
       6. Tax is very flexible once you have a couple years of experience, and can be extremely family friendly if you can swing a few months of heavy overtime each year– firms are desperate for seasonal preparers, so it’s quite possible to work 5-6 months out of the year if you want. There are lots of semi-retired little old ladies who do this, and it looks like living the dream to me.
       7. You will constantly be learning, which is cool but can be exhausting.
       8. A CPA license is more important than a master’s degree when it comes to hiring, and it doesn’t really matter where you went to school as long as you pass that test. This is one thing I love about this profession– you can get into it with minimal student loans.
       9. Billing your time is a massive hassle, so brace yourself for that.

       1. Not the original anon, but this is relevant to me, too, so thank you for this insight!

    2. It’s a meat grinder. Most associates are out of public between 1 and 5 years, so getting noticed by managers can be difficult because they don’t all take the time to develop their staff since they are used to the merry go round and can feel like the cost/benefit investment doesn’t pay in their favor.
       If you are in a small/medium firm you see a lot but it takes longer to get good at any one thing in particular. If you work in a large firm, you get really good at one thing early on but are not exposed to a lot outside that.
       Accountants can be conflict averse and this is not helpful for learning as you go.
       Established professionals use tons of jargon to new associates while giving instructions, so it can be hard to follow what they expect you to do.
       Reach out to senior associates who can give you tailored advice for your office. They can help you undestand what each partner/manager is looking for. Partner A wants workpapers formatted this way, Partner D doesn’t care how it’s done as long as it’s done quickly, Partner F wants emails drafted like so, Manager R says one thing but means another, etc.
       Get good at checking your own work.

       1. Had to go quickly, wasn’t finished with my response :)

          What I listed above are some cons/pitfalls that me and my friends experienced. The flip side is all the good things CPA Lady listed. Plus, it’s an interesting industry, and you can get work in any field.

          I’ve moved into private after 5 years in public, and have never appreciated my hard work and all the challenges of that time more. Public wasn’t for me long term, but the skills I picked up there are irreplaceable, and i would not have gotten them another way. Not sure I would go back at this point, but I also worked with plenty of CPAs who started in public, worked in private for 10-15 years or more, and then went back to public accounting. It’s not career suicide to leave public.

          Finally, I believe there are three general categories of review notes.
          1. Presentation. Partner A wants only net numbers, Partner B wants everything laid out. Or has a specific way of phrasing a statement that is different from another signer. This is not personal, and something you pick up over time working with different teams.
          2. Error due to misunderstanding. These can be as benign as new information was received later on in the process that the preparer did not have. It can also be that the preparer does not understand a concept and needs to do some research so they don’t repeat the mistake.
          3. Sloppiness. This can be from work-paper disorganization to miscalculations resulting from the preparer not checking their work.

          As a preparer, you want to do the best work in the least amount of time. Review notes aren’t bad in and of themselves – it is when you get the same review notes over and over that it becomes an issue. Ask managers/senior staff you trust how to best check your work, or sit with them as they review your work, so that you build effective habits.

          Finally, don’t spread yourself too thin. Take care of your health during busy season. No one else is going to do it for you.

          Wait, one more. Don’t let other associates competition about billable hours get to you. there are so many incredibly smart people in public accounting. You wouldn’t be there unless you are, too. For my mental health I learned to let the competition fade into the background, and I just tried to do my best every day. There is always someone willing to give up their entire life outside work to have the most hours. Focusing on hitting your billable goal, that will be enough. If you don’t hit it, then focus on hitting it next year.

          Oh, and if you start having panic attacks, it is time to see a doctor and make an exit plan. It happens, and it’s okay.

    3. I hate to admit this, but I wish I didn’t get into PA all those years ago. I’m advanced and specialized enough in my career now that I have very few options outside of becoming a partner in PA. I’m in a niche area of tax, FWIW. I like my job, my projects and my clients but I have a lot of underlying anxiety about the ability to make it work outside of PA if I ever had to leave and go to industry or the public sector. You essentially have 2 main paths in PA 1) partner or 2) “friend of the firm” in industry or the public sector. In my experience, it can be difficult or impossible to replicate the income potential in private industry or the public sector that you would otherwise have as a Big 4 partner. There are only so many VP and CFO jobs out there. If I could do it all over again I would go into finance or medicine.

11. I met a guy on an app, went on a few dates, had some gardening sessions, and he ghosted me. During the month-ish we were seeing each other, he always seemed much more into it than me, so I was surprised when he ghosted me. Actually, I called him out on ghosting me and he said he wasn’t ghosting me and was really busy bc of work (I do know his busy season was starting up and it was his first year in charge so lots of pressure) but then never responded to my text after that. He also deleted his account on the dating app. Honestly, I could really use a gardening session and was thinking about texting him tonight and just saying “Come over tonight?” I think that makes it sufficiently clear I just want to garden. He might totally ignore me, but I have nothing to lose right? Or would that be dumb of me?

    1. Nope nope nope. You’re asking for trouble, and he’s probably in a LTR which is why his account was deleted (or sorry, but not that into you).

       There is no way this ends well.

       1. Just what terrible ending do you predict here? That he’ll say no? Because that’s not awful. It’s just a no. I see this as there’s no way this doesn’t end well. Either OP gets laid (get it, girl!) or nothing happens and the status quo remains the status quo.

          1. +1

    2. Yes, that is stupid. He doesn’t want to see you. He’s probably seeing someone else.

    3. I think it would make more sense to pursue someone new–for this purpose or any purpose.

    4. You have nothing to lose. If he says no or doesn’t reply, who cares, you weren’t going to see him again anyway. Do it. Get that booty call.

       1. Ha this is kind of how I feel. So thank you. I know for sure he isn’t in a LTR. He could be seeing someone else or just not into me, but I figure why not try? At least with him I know the gardening is good.

       2. Yeah, go for it.

    5. I don’t think it’s dumb, if you’re not bothered by rejection there is literally nothing to lose, right? Go forth and live your desires.

    6. Just your dignity. I get the impulse but come on… he treated you poorly and obviously doesn’t want to see you (or even give you the courtesy of respectful communication, because he ghosted you). You deserve more than that and his poor behavior shouldn’t be rewarded.

       1. +1. No, nothing objectively terrible is going to happen, but this is embarrassing and pathetic. He ghosted you, which is pretty horrible when you’d been gardening, and obviously has no use for you. Why are you debasing yourself to beg him for a casual encounter?

       2. +1000 why garden with someone who doesn’t want you. Find a new person.

       3. Yep, this exactly. No hate against the hookup, but at least do it with someone who treats you like a human being who deserves respect.

       4. Orrrr maybe, JUST MAYBE, having s 3 x with somebody doesn’t always have to correlate with your worth as a person and you can go try to get laid just for funsies and not have an existential crisis about it.

          1. …huh? Nobody is telling her not to have casual sex, they’re just saying maybe pick a guy who hasn’t already rejected her and treated her like dirt.

          2. Did you even read what I wrote? I’m very pro-casual s3x but the difference here is that this guy is rude to her and doesn’t want her. (What’s fun about that?) I don’t understand why you are going after me for something I never said.

12. Is “congratulations” always the appropriate response to someone announcing retirement, even if it’s forced retirement and not an entirely happy occasion? I don’t want to be rude but I also know the person is not happy about things and “congrats” feels tone deaf.

    1. “Hope you enjoy this next chapter. Any plans or just taking some time to decide what’s next?”

    2. …. no. not if it’s forced and not happy. congrats is for a) achievements or b) exciting, happy events. Retirement under these circumstances is neither.

       “Best wishes” is your wheel house

       1. +1 “Best wishes, you’ll be missed.”

       2. This. My mom was forced out about a year ago from her job. Ageism is real yo. I think the only thing that hurt more than being forced out was the celebratory nature of her departure, which just made her feel awful.

    3. How about “best wishes” or “wishing you well” or “hope you enjoy the extra time [with family/to enjoy your cabin/to continue exploring the world/to whittle . . . “?

    4. I always say congratulations. Very often the forced-out person would like to save face and treat it as a true voluntary retirement. And I’m envious because I would love to retire (I have 10 years go go)

       There are lots and lots of these forced retirements in my field lately so I’ve had lots of practice in how to respond.

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