Corporette.com

Updated: Nov 1, 2018 202 Comments · by

Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Pussy-Bow Silk Crepe de Chine Blouse

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I try not to feature $1,000 blouses, because there are so many that can be had for less, but this one from Chloé caught my eye, and we haven't done a splurge blouse for a while. I think this is an interesting take on the pussy-bow category. I like that there's no tie attempted with this — it's just sort of long and loose — and the very pointy stand collar is different. The blouse is $1,095 at Net-a-Porter. I'm curious, readers: How do you wear pussy-bow blouses to the office? Do you tie them, leave them loose, or tie them in a bow? Pussy-Bow Silk Crepe de Chine Blouse A similar blouse in a pretty paisley print is $325. Last Call has a lower-priced option, as does Nordstrom, and Eloquii has a plus-size alternative. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 9.16.24

Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…

RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: cURL error 60: Issuer certificate is invalid.

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. PHL

    conceptually, I get it – but how do you walk and function in the world wearing this blouse styled like this?

    • Anon

      Yeah to me this is one of those really pretty nonpractical fashion pieces…not something you actually wear in the real world to work.

    • Anonymous

      How is it hard? Same way you function in the world with a scarf. It’s for going to work and lunch not running a marathon or being a pre-K teacher.

      • SomeoneOutThere

        I feel like it would end up between the thighs if you tried to walk around with it in that position.

      • Ellen

        Yes, but this expensive thing looks ridiculus. At least a scarf is HERMES and is cute. This looks more like a dish towel on a blouse. FOOEY! And at $1000, a very expensive one at that ! DOUBEL FOOEY! Give me a nice HERMES scarf and I will look so much better then this. TRIPEL FOOEY

    • bow-tique

      with unerring confidence in the scarf/tie(?) thing hanging off your neck!

    • Anonymous

      I have a pussy bow shirt, and I wear it under a blazer and tie it. It was a gift. I don’t love the concept.

      I can’t imagine it swishing around all day. When I wear scarves, they aren’t this long, and I usually wrap them around me.

    • Leatty

      If I wore this, I feel certain I would end up accidentally letting it fall in the toilet or tucking it in my pants. Definitely not graceful enough to pull it off.

  2. Badlands

    I don’t see how this collar is any pointy-er than other collars? Sure, the collar is more substantial/taller (which I like), but the point isn’t pilgram or 70s levels of pointedness.

      • Housecounsel

        It is soooo pretty. Also, the ends of the scarf would fall into my coffee cup about seven minutes into the day.

      • Badlands

        Hmm – I guess it just is the collar stand and not also the collar pieces that folds over.

        But…it’s still not pointy? I mean, it has *corners* instead of being rounded? But I would infer a more acute angle to be pointy.

    • Anon

      Rachel Mitchell’s report shows that Ford is lying. That’s more compelling.

        • Anonymous

          Not at all. There are a million reasons not to prosecute beyond “the victim is lying.”

        • Anon

          She wouldn’t prosecute because Ford’s story makes no sense. Read the parts about the changing timelines, refusal to hand over notes, botched polygraph, and, most importantly, the fact that she has no explanation as to how she made it home, 7 miles as the crow flies and what, almost 10 miles on walkable roads. She’s lying.

          Feminists aren’t obligated to defend women who lie about rape. In fact, it’s the opposite of what we should be doing.

      • Anon

        To believe Ford is lying, you’d have to believe she set up a long con game to trap Kavanaugh before he was ever a SCOTUS nominee (telling her therapist and husband years in advance). Not only that, but you’d have to believe she went to all that crazy effort and didn’t even do a thorough job of it by remembering dates and details. That just isn’t plausible.

        However, to believe Kavanaugh is lying, you can just look at his own hearing and square it with your own knowledge of what is true. For once, a Devil’s Triangle is not a drinking game. Then check with his own friends and acquaintances to see what kind of drinker he really was.

        • Anonymous

          She didn’t name him to her therapist. I believe something happened to her. I don’t believe that we know it was him. She may be confused. Memory is bad.

          • Anon

            She did name him, but his name was not in the therapist’s notes.

            Please at least admit that he is lying about his drinking habits and his yearbook entries. Why lie about the supposed small stuff?

          • Anonymous

            I do not think she is confused or lying intentionally (i.e., I believe her). BUT, I don’t see how anyone can support his candidacy at this point. His record of poor behavior now (during the hearings, on FOX, lying in general) and then (overwhelming evidence that he was not the well-behaved student he portrays) is plenty to disqualify him for this job. It is a job. A very high-level job. We are not try to convict him or put him in jail. He simply has not earned the privilege of serving on our highest court. People have been denied positions on the Court for far less (justifiably so, I think).

          • nutella

            This is why I think the most compelling fact was that they knew each other before that night. There wouldn’t mistaking of WHO if she already knew him. If she had only just met him that night or didn’t know who it was until one day she saw him on TV decades later, I think you could reasonably doubt the story. Add that she the cost-benefit analysis of her coming forward doesn’t add up for her no matter how you spin this and I think you land where every single person watching landed, which was that she was credible and compelling.

            I don’t think any of this matters, though. Even if there was clear evidence it was him, his supporters are going to back him at all costs no matter what. There is a taped recording of the President bragging/admitting to the same, and it didn’t matter. I fully expect him to be appointed as I believe the majority of the President’s supporters now subscribe to the ends justifying the means.

            I do hiring for office manager positions at my company. A lot of the candidates don’t have a college degree, maybe a GED, some have criminal records. We consider them based on their suitability for the job and sometimes hire them even with these ‘blemishes.’ I wouldn’t hire Judge Kavanaugh for even those positions because he was erratic, insubordinate, and has demonstrated that he can’t do the basic job description fairly (for him, in demonstrating clearly partisan theories – hard to believe the old ‘just calling balls and strikes’ role). I think he showed disrespect and almost disdain that he was questioned. Instead he should have been grateful for the opportunity to clear his name and defend himself. Especially considering that there are dozens of equally qualified candidates that would fulfill the conservative agenda that would be easier to confirm that could replace him in an hour. I grew up in this kind of social circle; these boys face no consequences and his anger looked a lot like petulance at not getting what he thought he was entitled to.

  4. cbackson

    I have a really hard time paying a lot of money for tops. To me, it feels like tops look dated more quickly than anything else.

    • Anon

      Same. Also, i find they “show wear” more quickly than any other pieces in my closet (dresses, pants, blazers, etc).

      • Anon

        I get these comments but also I don’t. I am certainly not the most graceful person in the world. I spill my coffee and food falls off my fork. But I realized this about myself a while ago and now I either take off or cover up my fancy, expensive clothes so that this doesn’t happen. If I’m gonna eat yellow curry, I’m sure not going to be wearing my nice clothes when I do so.

    • anon

      +1. A $50 top would be a splurge for me, honestly. There aren’t that many truly classic tops that go the distance. Even classic cuts/styles have slight tweaks and updates from year to year to make them look more current.

      • Anon

        Totally agree, and for me, if it’s not a white top with a food stain, its a black top with an oil stain, or a jewel tone top that goes out of style. My $70 tops that I got on sale for $40 have lasted me 5 years, at least the ones not damaged with my clumsiness, so that’s where my limit stays.

    • Idea

      Agreed. Plus fit changes whether my body or trends or whatever. For past few years most tops I’ve bought have been at trendier consignment shops. Only recently stepping it up to buy new.

      This is lovely but so not for me right now….

  5. Fashion things - pear edition

    I was at a meeting with a woman wearing what I recognized as a Borden dress. It fit her well, so it reconfirmed what I had suspected: I need to be taller or have a longer torso for the dimensions to work for me. Also: too flat-chested to fill out the darts. :(

    For fellow short pears: which dress brands work for you? My only recent find is the MMLF Etsuko. But I’m looking for maybe a sweater dress now that it is getting cooler (one that has some shaping and doesn’t look like a sack).

    • Anonymous

      That is weird–I find Boden to run very short-waisted and curvy, so it should be perfect for a pear.

    • Scarlett

      I think Boden is one of those inconsistent lines, I’m tall with a long torso as you describe and every once in a while they’ll make a dress that works for me, but 90% of what I order from there feels like it’s designed for someone else.

      • Anon

        I don’t think Boden is inconsistent. It always works for me. I’m actually so glad I discovered that brand from reading here, because it’s one of few brands that does work for my body.

    • Wow

      I would try Maggy London, Tahari ASL (not Elie Tahari), and Lauren Ralph Lauren. You might need to shorten the hem if you’re short but these lines work great for me. Boden doesn’t work on me either, but I still look at the catalog wistfully.

      • sheep jump death match

        +1 to Lauren Ralph Lauren. They have a bunch of styles that are ruched or gathered or similar at the waist that make me, a v chunky pear, look like Jessica Rabbit.

        Everything from Boden looks like it belongs in a “Mod Is Back!” photo spread with a bunch of Twiggy-looking models to me.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a short pear and I don’t think the MMLF etsuko works on me, actually. I do like how the MMLF Alexandra fits though. MMLF has some similar dresses that are knit, basically anything A-line, preferably with a V-Neck (maybe that’s just my personal preference)

    • Katie

      I’m a pear (5’5″) and Boden works for me if I shop carefully. I tend toward dresses with a-line or fuller skirts.

    • ER

      This suggestion might be out of budget, but I’d look at DVF — it always seems like it’s going to work on my flat chested pear shaped body, but it’s waaaay too short for me.

  6. Voting guides with Halloween candy?

    I am really thinking about passing out voting guides (slate cards from our local Democratic party on which candidates and proposals they/we support) along with Halloween candy this year. I would explain that the cards are for their parents. Or if parents accompanied their kids at our door I would give it to them directlty. I don’t mean to politicize a wholesome holiday, but we are living in desperate times.

    • anon

      Eeek, I wouldn’t do this. I think there’s a greater likelihood of turning people off than changing their hearts and minds.

    • Anonymous

      I don’t like the idea of giving out “voting guides” to anyone who hasn’t asked for one. You are going to alienate even members of your own party this way.

    • Anonymous

      A hard no from me. I do not want my kids getting a voting guide with candy. And I do not want you handing it to me directly. If you feel this strongly, find a different way or venue to pass out the guides.

    • Anonymous

      Oh my goodness no. Get a grip. No. You obviously do mean to politicize a holiday. Don’t. Either participate in Halloween like a normal person or turn your lights out. Put all the candidate signs on your lawn you want, but do not do this.

    • Former Campaign Worker

      Don’t do it. Volunteer on the weekends and knock doors – it’ll be more effective and you won’t annoy your neighbors. If you want to do something on Halloween, get yard signs. But if you want to make a difference, volunteer and call/knock doors instead.

    • Anonymous

      Please don’t. Just let Halloween be Halloween and kids be kids. This is worse than dental floss…ugh…I want to get off this planet.

    • HSAL

      Noooooo. I’m a Democrat but I’d never send my kid to your house for candy again.

    • Anonymous

      To clarify–I got a bag of dog “treats” on my doorstep one year just for turning off my lights and ending candy distribution at 9:00. That is why I think you are asking to be teepeed or worse if you do this.

      • busybee

        This worries me. This is our first years as homeowners and we will both be unavailable on Halloween night. I’ll put out a bowl of candy and a note I guess.

        • Anonymous

          I never put anything out and I’ve never had a problem.

          Trick or treating starts at like 4 pm in my neighborhood. I am not home at 4 pm. Heck I am not home at 6 pm when it ostensibly ends. Am I supposed to put out a bowl of candy before I leave in the morning? If I did that, it would be covered by ants and bees before 4.

        • Anonymous

          My small “city” does trick or treating on a Thursday. I am never home and have never had ny problems.

    • Worry about yourself

      I understand where you’re coming from and I appreciate wanting your neighbors to be informed voters (and actually go to the polls) in November, but I have to agree with the others, this is not a good way to achieve that.

    • Anon

      Please don’t do this. Halloween is for children, not for adult things like voting. You’re just setting yourself up for 1) parents yelling about you pushing political propaganda on their kids, even if it isn’t propaganda and 2) a crap ton of balled up paper cards in your yard or at the end of your driveway. And you’ll be the house that everyone skips next year.

    • PolyD

      How about set up on your lawn a generic voting booth with ghosts and witches and goblins lined up to vote, if you must remind people about voting? Decorate it with orange and black so as not to appear to be favoring one party or another.

      I would find this quite clever, but I live in a very political, very nerdy area.

      • Horse Crazy

        +1 I think a cute/scary decoration in your yard about voting could work, if you’re set on sending a message. But I agree with everyone about not handing out voting guides.

    • ham

      ohmygod no, do not do this. I’d be so put off and would probably avoid you in the future.

    • Batgirl

      I guess I’ll be the lone voice of dissent. I don’t know that I would love you doing this, but I also don’t think it’s that big of a deal. And I certainly don’t think it would drive Republican turn out. I can’t imagine being the Republican who wasn’t going to bother to vote until she got a voter guide in her kid’s Halloween candy. Of all the things to motivate you in this political climate!

    • ToS

      A hard no from me as a parent – if you are handing this to the kids. If you hand it to a parent directly, that might work depending on delivery, it might work even more if it’s an invitation to discussion. Encouraging people to vote, but not HOW to vote, is good. Speaking up about issues you care about in ways people can take them to heart, even if they disagree, is a great skill to have.

  7. Candidate

    Happy October, everyone! I like to binge on horror for this whole month, so give me your recommendations! I’d prefer books & podcasts but also like movies & TV, and if you can recommend something with the tone of The Haunting of Hill House or The Woman in Black (book versions) I would really appreciate it. This year I’m feeling particularly drawn to haunted house stories.

    My current favorite horror podcasts are: The White Vault (just returned for season 2) & Aftershocks, but if you never listened to Rabbits or Limetown I also recommend those.

    • Scarlett

      My favorite haunted house books are by Wendy Webb – the Tale of Halycon Crane was especially good, but they’re all great.

        • Anonymous

          If YA is on the table, I really enjoyed Paper Valentine.

          The Icarus Girl was also really good and surprisingly scary (and didn’t really read like YA).

    • Yet Another Anon

      House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danieliwski! It’s not exactly a haunted house story, but very compelling psychological horror.

      • Anonymous

        It’s definitely a house story. I never finished that book, and I’m not sure I followed what was going on, but it definitely gets into your head in a unique way.

    • anne-on

      We have always lived in the castle, the yellow wallpaper, and the ‘best of’ no sleep reddit pages are all plenty scary/creepy (though reddit should, as always, be taken with a boulder of salt).
      The Omen, the first Halloween, and the original black and white night of the living dead are very creepy and atmospheric and less gory.
      Enjoy! I love old school horror!

    • lsw

      Ti West’s House of the Devil might be something for you! (film)

      Have you read The Stepford Wives? I loved the book. The original movie is also great.

    • Worry about yourself

      I got super into American Horror Story last year, and can confidently recommend the first five seasons (Roanoke’s documentary format turned me off, and I hear Cult is rubbish but may check it out anyway).

      I also recommend listening to horror movie themes, spooky instrumentals from Midnight Syndicate and Nox Arcana, and horror punk bands like Headstone Horrors, and Zombina and the Skeletones.

      Are you looking forward to the Haunting of Hill House series on Netflix?

      • Candidate

        Yes, very much so!

        I worked at a summer camp as a teenager, and we of course had our own camp-specific horror stories that morphed over the years. One of the things I like about horror and folklore is how the stories morph and change over the years, and Haunting of Hill House is a great example. The Netflix adds make it look nothing like the book, but like it draws on the more recent 1999 “The Haunting” movie. I’ll definitely be watching.

    • Anonymous

      I recently finally watched Suspiria. Now it’s one of my favorite movies. I usually skip older movies, but I should have gotten around to this one sooner.

      It Follows was as good as people said it was (I was very skeptical going in since the premise sounds so dumb).

      I feel like it’s been a long time since I really liked a haunted house movie (I just looked up The Others and realized how old it is now). House of the Devil was good and definitely features a house!

    • Frozen Peach

      My favorite spooky books are both YA but are very good– Mary Downing Hahn’s Wait Till Helen Comes and The Doll in the Garden.

      I’m channeling my Kavnaugh feelings and October feelings into the same channel and focusing on old-school powerful witch lady stuff. The Craft, Practical Magic, Foxfire, and Charmed are all on my list. Also Buffy. I’d love recs in that vein!

    • Lydia

      White is for Witching by Helen Oyeyemi. Salem’s Lot by Stephen King, and We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. Someone said it above, but Suspiria is amazing. Not quite horror, but vampires: Let the Right One In and Only Lovers Left Alive.

      • K

        And it’s based on the absolutely amazing book (same name) by Dan Simmons. I highly recommend the book.

  8. 30D

    Fellow 30D ladies, what are bras you like? I have loved Betsey Johnson (lined but not overly padded, comfy) but have struggled to find lately. And any refs on something wirefree (other than coobies) that have some lining? Anyone try the third love ones? Time for a refesh for my oldest ones and I’m at a loss.

    • Murz

      No recs but following. I had good success at Aerie but I just ordered my go-to bra in my standard size (30D) and it was way too small. I ordered a 32C and 32D in the same style and those are too big now, too. But I’m fitting in my older 30D just fine. Not sure if this is a momentary blip or their new sizing. The bra style I liked is the Sunnie and it meets your criteria of lined and comfy. They make it in a wirefree version as well.

    • Anon

      30DD. Betsey Johnson is okay but not quite petite enough for me. If Betsey Johnson fits you well, you may also do well with Calvin Klein (the Seductive Comfort line is the most comfortable I’ve ever found).

      For more support, I prefer Parfait by Affinitas–but they’re mostly not lined. I’ll follow this thread.

    • SomeoneOutThere

      If you want wirefree, I like Chantelle’s option. It’s not lined, but the fabric is thick and sturdy enough that I don’t mind, and I almost always want lining.

    • Anom

      I’m 30DD. For a wire free night-time bra, I have and like an Anita sports bra. For underwire bras, I’ve liked panache and chantelle. But mostly panache. If your area has a true lingerie shop, then I highly recommend going for a real fitting.

      • Anonymous

        We do but it is poorly stocked for small band sizes. I get it — it isn’t like there is a ton of money to be made at this end of the spectrum. They just sigh and give up.

  9. Oops

    This morning, I was in the kitchen making breakfast with my boyfriend. I had my phone on beside me and intended to find a recipe. When I looked down, I noticed my phone was open to my email and that (to my surprise) I had received a message from Bumble. I deleted Bumble from my phone months ago, but I suppose just deleting the app did not delete my account. I think my boyfriend saw the message (it was just a “You’re Buzzworthy, now login to the app” sort of thing and not a notification from an actual user). He did not say anything but I felt that his demeanor changed.

    How do I bring this up with him? Do I even? I’m overthinking. Not even 100% sure he saw it and I don’t want to create an issue that may not even exist.

    • anon

      I think you can bring it up. “Dang, I keep getting emails from Bumble even though I deleted my account months ago! So annoying.”

      • Worry about yourself

        Yeah, this is how I’d go about it as well. I mean, if Bumble is bugging you to log in, that’s probably a sign that you’re not currently using your account so even if he saw it he’s probably not suspecting anything bad, but it’s still okay to casually mention it.

      • Senior Attorney

        Yes, do this. I had something similar happen when I was dating my husband (Match was sending him emails) and it freaked me out to the extent I brought it up to him after worrying for a week or so. Put your BF out of his misery sooner rather than later.

    • Anonymous

      I’m of the school of just talk about it, especially since you think he saw it and noticed a change. Why risk generating suspicion for no reason.

    • Anom

      Just talk it out. And do it soon. It’s not a big deal, there’s no issue because you haven’t done anything wrong. So just tell him. His demeanor could have changed for any number of reasons on a Monday morning.

    • Anonymous

      This isn’t an answer to your actual question, but as a single person, I do have a favor to ask: download the app, delete or disable your account in the app, and then re-delete the app. Your profile still appears as if you ARE on the app with no indication to others that you are not single/not looking. An engaged male friend of mine simply deleted the app years ago and he still shows up in my results with some frequency. I wish Bumble and Tinder would fix this issue, but until then, it would help if people would actually disable their accounts rather than taking the easy way out and simply deleting the app from their phones. Thanks :)

      • Anon

        +1! Please deactivate your dating accounts if you get in a relationship, not just delete the apps

        • Anonymous

          That’s a pain though because you have to start over if you break up. I only deactivated once I had a wedding date on the calendar.

          • Anonymous

            You don’t have to start over if you deactivate/turn off new matches. I have deactivated and reactivated multiple times in the past five years. Perhaps I didn’t truly delete, but you CAN turn off new matches. I do it often.

          • Anonymous

            Yeah – there are definitely different levels. And you really have to hunt on some of the apps/sites to actually delete the account vs just deactivating.

            I usually delete all the photos and as much of the text as possible before I go to delete, just so it’s not hanging out there.

    • anon

      I’d bring it up! Just say oh by the way, you know I deleted Bumble. Could lead to a good conversation! You haven’t done anything wrong but no reason not to make sure he knows you are on the same page!

    • Anon

      I recently got an email from a dating account. As I’m engaged, it is most definitely unwelcome. It is a reminder to me to delete all of those as much as possible – delete, not just close or unsubscribe (which I have been for years).

    • January

      Also, remember that Bumble tries to keep its customers through BumbleBFF and its business networking service. Don’t lie and claim to be using these features if you aren’t, obviously, but Bumble seems to aspire to be a full social network, not just a dating app.

  10. Anon (but I’d like to be Catwoman)

    I need fashion help! I apologize if any of these topics have been discussed recently – I have been away from the hive for many months. I recently got a new job (big change, moved cities). Novel ahead. Here are my needs:

    1. I have searched high and low for about a month for the perfect tote bag and cannot find one big enough for me. I am traveling a lot (I borderline don’t even have a home base) so it needs to be something travel friendly (ability to slip on to rolling suitcase is a plus). Must be structured (can’t deal with a bottomless floppy bag). I carry a lot of stuff (laptop, planner/notebook, documents, umbrella, water, snacks, wallet, phone, chargers, stickies, writing utensils, light makeup, on and on). The only one I have found that appears to fit the bill is the Tumi Rosalind but for the price I would really like options to compare. I like the style of the Lo & Sons Seville but worry that it’s not big enough. Part of me is in love with the Kate Spade laptop bags but then I would need a separate purse and wouldn’t be able to bring those two along with a roller onto the plane. Sigh.

    1.5. I also need a new rolling suitcase if anyone is interested in matching to above work horse of a bag. 4 wheels.

    2. How to dress – I’m mid to late 20’s, came from a business casual (more business than casual) banking environment. I’m still in banking but it feels like tech – everyone (including my bosses) wears jeans so my closet full of sheath dresses is very out of place. I need clothes that are casual but still sharp. Right now I’m just doing the black ponte pant with booties and blouse but I’m bored and need to go shopping anyway as I don’t have very many casual items currently. Caveat is that I’m traveling all over the country (think freezing areas such as NY and Chicago but also FL and NOLA). Living close to DC.

    Thanks in advance, ladies!

    • Anon

      I wouldn’t discount the sheath dresses, they can be styled very casual – jeans is casual for men but women have a wide array of “casual dress”. I often pair a top over my sheath (a blouse, a sweater, chambray shirt, boyfriend sweater) effectively turning the sheath into a skirt. Paired with a jean jacket or otherwise casual top, flats, and a more bold streak when it comes to jewelry, you can transition them well.

      • Equestrian Attorney

        As someone who just underwent a similar transition, I still wear the sheath dresses styled more casually – I have a kind of sweatshirt cardigan that is a great casual topper, and wear flats or whatnot. Otherwise, nice jeans can be worn with more business-style blouses, or jackets (not too suit-like) with a simple tshirt, etc. I’m stocking back up on nice sweaters (used to wear jackets only, or sweatshirts to hang out at home) and middle of the road dresses.

    • Scarlett

      My best advice is to pare your stuff down rather than look for a bigger bag. I like all the things you’re talking about but I’d take a hard look at whether you need to pack all of it. When I travel, I use electronic planners and leave my paper backup at home, pack a teeny umbrella in my suitcase if I’m going somewhere rainy but not as a meter of course (you can always buy or borrow one), have any documents I might need scanned or in electronic form, etc (this is just generally helpful for being more mobile), etc.
      as a result, my perfect travel bags are the Cuyana zip tote (I recently got the insert that provides the structure you’re seeking) and the Away suitcase in the smallest size. I’m less sold on the Away in that there are probably others in the category, but their compression system lets me pack a lot more than I’d think (I also do business trips all in one color, usually navy, so it’s as capsule as possible).

    • Anon

      One plus of a Lo and Sons OG or OMG is the cross body strap. If I have to check my bag, I can still be hands free in the airport. You want a bag with a trolley strap that goes over the handle of your rolling suitcase. I also saw one that I really liked by Bric’s, although not sure it has the shoulder strap.

      For a suitcase, I like my travelpro carry on spinner. I think they can be found for under $100 from Amazon or ebags. I also have a overnight size carry on hardside Hartman that I really like. I’ve found bags (like the Hartman) at TJ Maxx. I travel a good bit, so my preference is to get a decent bag for cheap, beat the crap out of it for a few years, then toss it and get a new one. I also don’t have black suitcases – makes it easier to spot my bag on the carousel or jetway if I do have to check it.

      If you are traveling frequently you’ll want to get good at packing in a carry-on suitcase. Checking bags really slows me down. Also, with a spinner I never feel like I’m lugging heavy bags around. I just gently push the suitcase with the other bag on top and it goes.

      Also, packing cubes! No need to get spendy with them. I have a set (of 3 with 3 additional zip up pouches) that I got for 10 bucks on Amazon and they’ve been working for me for a couple years now. I honestly don’t know how I packed without cubes before.

      • anon a mouse

        Great recs – I am very happy with my combination of OMG + Travelpro spinner + packing cubes.

      • Anon

        I have a Travelpro carry-on spinner as well and I can’t recommend it enough. I seriously love it so much.

    • Frozen Peach

      Are you me?

      I went through your job dress code transition over the last few years, and I’m now beginning a role where I travel a lot.

      I have the unicorn tote bag rec for you. The Knomo Grosvenor Place is everything I’ve ever wanted in a travel bag. It fits my laptop and has so. many. pockets. Even I can stay organized traveling with it, and that’s really saying something.

      My only wardrobe advice is to go. Slow. Get a few pairs of dark jeans you like and don’t make my mistake of buying lots of tops at once. Work with what you have, even if it’s only a few tops, and gradually build from there. Also, a moto jacket and a casual-ish tailored black blazer can go a long way. Make sure you consider getting cardigans that are long enough to cover the hem of tops in the back. That was my biggest hassle– many slightly casual tops appropriate for the “nice jeans” environment are cut longer and stick out below cardigans.

      • Leah

        Dang, this bag has almost every aspect I’ve been looking for. I just wish there were colors besides black…but you can’t have everything.

        Thanks for the rec! *bookmarked*

      • Anon

        I think it’s weirder to have your cardigan cover your shirt, but to each her own, I guess.

  11. Anonymous

    Has anyone had both microdermabrasion and hydrafacial? Which would you recommend to get ready for a special event? (I know, I know, don’t try anything new before a special event)

    • Anonymous

      I have had microdermabrasion, would only do it one month ahead of a special event. You will peel a lot.

    • busybee

      I have not had microdermabrasion but I had a hydrafacial and hated it. It was not pleasant and didn’t do anything other than make me really red and blotchy for about two days. I did not notice a benefit to my skin.

    • nutella

      You can do either — but at least a week before (maybe longer if you’ve never had either).

    • Sunshine

      Yes, I’ve had both. The hydrafacial was really hyped up but I don’t think it made much of a difference. Both cleared my pores effectively. Personally I find a regular facial plus microderm to be more pleasant than the hydrafacial. Although I’m prone to rosacea, my skin tolerates both of these well and any redness was gone by morning.

  12. anon

    help! I have a problem with my bras creating the unsightly appearance of back fat. I’m really thin so I don’t get how to avoid this or how it seems like no one else has this problem. I do occasionally wear a smoothing bra, but is there no other way to get a smooth look under a shirt or dress? I’ve been kind of operating on the assumption that I must just not be wearing a size that fits, but I odn’t think that’s true anymore.

    • Flats Only

      Vanity Fair Beauty Back bras. I am not really thin, but wear these and they don’t create rolls and lumps, so I look nice and smooth in my tops.

    • busybee

      I also have this problem. Am also really thin. It’s not a fit problem, as I’ve been fitted multiple times and have been the same size for many years. I like the bands that are all one smooth piece, not the kind that are thicker on top and on bottom; they’re the only ones that don’t create a lump.

    • anon for this

      I would guess that you bra band is too loose and that it sits too high in the back. Try and loosen your straps a little and drag the band lower down. Lower than you think, and try and make sure it’s equal or a little lower to the front.

      But – some of us have softer frames even when super thin, so it may also be unavoidable. I have some decree of “back boob” even though there’s just skin and bones (26/28 band), because I’m not that muscled. Other people can be a lot bigger but have very firm and muscled backs.

  13. All-Inclusive Resorts

    Hive, tell me about your favorite all-inclusive resorts for a small (4?) night getaway with my partner.

  14. ANP

    Podcast recommendation: Women at Work by Harvard Business Review. This was recommended to me by a classmate over the weekend and I thought it was great! Passing it along.

  15. #metoo family

    I have an interesting #metoo-related dilemma. A relative of DH is a fairly high-profile businessperson who was prolifically accused of se*ual misconduct. I believe the accusations. He has since stepped down from his role, but has not publicly shown any remorse. DH would like for us to get together with him for a meal. We used to have a good relationship, but I have not seen him since this all happened. Would you agree to get together with this person? If so, how would you address everything? I would love to just confront him, to feel that I am making some small impact, but it can take courage to be impolite!

    • Anonymous

      I would just avoid the relative. DH can go on his own if it’s important to him. There is no upside to your confronting the relative.

      • Senior Attorney

        This. I would shun him. I wouldn’t be super happy about DH getting together with him but I guess if they are very close relatives I could understand it.

    • Anonymous

      I know you probably don’t want to get into it, but I think it would matter a lot to me exactly what the accusations were.

    • anon

      I would start by identifying your goals. What do you hope to achieve? If I liked the person and wanted to see them or if there was some other specific reason for seeing them, I would go. Otherwise I wouldn’t. Also just based on personal experience, I have ended up regretting actions I took for the sake of my own feelings (e.g., to feel like I’m having an impact) as opposed to thinking about what I want the outcome to be and what is most likely to achieve it. A lot/most of the time, these two things are not the same.

    • Anonymous

      Following, but, to your suggestion, I don’t think that confronting him in a social situation is likely to achieve anything. Willing to hear what others have to say about it, though.

    • Anonymous

      I think I’d go but wouldn’t confront him. It seems like the system has worked sufficiently in his case.

    • ham

      If you’re planning on confronting him, I wouldn’t agree to do dinner in the first place. Just opt out.

    • Anonymous

      I would not go and would have major issues with my husband suggesting we make a particular effort to reach out.

    • Anonymous

      What does DH think? Why does he want to see this person – just to get together or to clear the air about the accusations? You two need to be on the same page about this. It’s his relative.

      And as much as I’m feeling a little #yesallmen rn, I can’t get behind inviting someone to a nice social outing as a guise for confronting him about his terrible behavior. It feels dishonest. Look you’re totally within your rights to want to talk about it before deciding to continue to socialize with him. But just… tell him that? “Hey I’m super disturbed by what I’ve read about you, not sure I still want to be friends, but I’m willing to hear you out. Come over for tea and we can talk about it?” And if you’re not willing to hear him out then tell him that too. “I don’t want to socialize with you anymore because you did XYZ.”

      • anon

        I’m in this camp – ‘sexual misconduct’ can mean a lot of different things. For me, wanting to ever socialize with him again would really depend on the definition of that term in this particular case. I don’t know that a confrontation will help or make things better. If you are opening to seeing him, I like the idea of tea – a meal is a little long for me if it becomes forced, and it’s more of a gaping hole if you decide you want to leave. Let DH know ahead of time that you might excuse yourself. If he’s close family, you’re not going to be able to avoid him forever, perhaps it’s better to try to clear the air and find out if he has remorse.

    • Idea

      I recall a number of years ago Miss Manners did a column on snubbing or shunning someone accused of financial misdeeds. I don’t see any way you could effectively do this if you were meeting this person/perpetrator in a couple-on-couple situation, though. I would avoid the event if possible. If you must go, focus on his partner – and yours – and keep things light and social.

      Do you question your husband’s judgment in wanting this get-together?

    • Anonymous

      If your spouse wants to go, attend to back him up *IF* you know that he also abhors the behavior and doesn’t want to get sucked in. Is his request an extension of family loyalty?

      I would not believe for a minute that one (more) monologue will make a difference. It’s the constant application and reinforcement of the value of respecting women and providing dignity that can provide more foundation for his (hopeful) shift. If the guys is still Full of It, and brings it up defensively, leave in a way that he, you, and ideally, Miss Manners, would understand how women are to be harassed or abused.

      Let us know how it goes.

  16. Anonymous

    Can anyone point me to resources on how to do a job search? A friend asked for my help but I don’t even know where to start. He didn’t finish college and he’s been working nights as a bartender/waiter for the past ~10 years. He was staying home with his kids during the day. Now that they’re older, he’s looking for more standard hours. Mom is no longer in the picture. Where can he go for help?

    • Annony

      Ask a Manager has a lot of great resources. Libraries often have resources available for job seekers, including some listings, and maybe one on one help for resumes and things. If he’s in a smaller town, it might help to contact a few temp/employment agencies to see if they might be willing to work with him. This can be a gray area, but if you stick to well-known names, should be fine. This can help him build up some experience/current skills. Public agencies (local government/school district/etc.) can be tricky to break in to, but if he has a friend who works there, they can often help navigate the system. Without knowing more details, that is the best I can think of.

  17. Anonymous

    HALP. I forgot my husband’s birthday. It’s Thursday. We’re not huge gift givers – we normally just give a token gift ($30). I’m thinking quirky socks. Any good recs on Amazon? (Also, what search term do I use? He calls them “annoying socks” and now I can’t think of anything else haha.) He’s really into fishing and hunting, so nature-themed quirky socks would be ideal.

    • Pompom

      Happy Socks is a great brand with fun socks, I’m seeing some on the river site! If you can find them in person (I don’t see them on the river s i te), try The Joy of Socks. Snarky socks.

    • Vicky Austin

      Idk if they have nature themes, but I got funky socks for my fiance from Alpine Swiss via Amazon. I just picked a pack of the crazy patterns and went with it. He loves them and they have held up nicely in the ~1 yr he has worn them.

    • C

      Blue Q has cute socks if you don’t mind profanity. I’ve given them mostly to girlfriends, but they have a men’s line as well.

    • Anonymous

      If you have kids, Target makes some cute kid/parent matching socks or at least they used to.

    • christineispink

      not as “fun” designs but they do have bright colors, Bombas socks have been my go-t0 gift for any male in my life for the past 5+ years (we gave them out as our wedding favors). You think socks are such a simple item but then I tried these and LOVE them. Everyone I’ve gifted them to has also gone out and bought a bunch b/c they’re so comfy and not annoying (no tugging, falling down, etc.). I even wear brand new pairs for races (running) w/o fear of blisters or hot spots.

  18. anon

    Curious to hear thoughts, partially in light of the thread above. If your husband/father/ someone you were very close to were accused of sexual misconduct, how readily would you believe the accusations? how do you balance the need to believe the accuser with your fidelity to the person very close to you (assuming you don’t have any other reason to think they’re sketchy)?

    • Anonymous

      I’d initially believe my husband, but he’s the only person alive I’d believe. False accusations are rare but they do happen and when you know the accused person well I think it’s fair to default to believing him in the absence of other evidence. Of course I could be convinced of my husbands guilt but it would take proof that he’s lied or other accusations or corroborating evidence. We have the first two of those things with Kavanaugh imo.

      • Anonymous

        Actually, we have all three of those things with Kavanaugh. We just don’t have corroboration of every detail, or a confirming eyewitness.

    • Anonymous

      Not quite the same, but my swim coach was accused, and then convicted, of sexual abusing several of my teammates. He seemed like the perfect coach/father figure to me and my siblings, all of whom swam with him. My family trusted him, and we knew him for over a decade. Even as a high school student, I believed the victims. I recognize men can be nice and charming to me and still abuse others.

      I think the specificity of the accusation comes into play here, as well as my family member/friend’s reaction. I would ask him/her to talk about it.

    • Anon

      My fiance and father have a few things in common; the biggest thing is their unrelenting honesty and integrity. I would believe them, pure and simple. They also believe me, pure and simple, and back me to the hilt when I am harassed or targeted.

      That said, there are other people whom I might believe it of.

      I do not outsource my judgement to strangers. End of story.

    • Never too many shoes...

      In all honesty, and this is likely to be an unpopular answer, but I would take some convincing. I do not let a ton of people into my inner life circle, so if you make it into my heart that deeply, I trust you and I am all in for you. It would take some actual hard evidence to make me believe otherwise. That goes for any of my close circle, male or female. who might be accused of any crime though.

    • Anon

      Oh, I know my father and would 100% believe any accusations against him. I mean, I love him, but I know him. I had an ex get accused of some terrible things after we’d broken up. None of it happened while we were together and he never did anything like what he was accused of to me, but I still believed the accusations. They were well-founded and came from more than one person.

    • Ano

      My father is no longer alive but I would have believed accusations against him. I would not be surprised to hear women coming forward now, though they’d likely be in their 70s-80s, and I would also not be surprised to someday find out I have half siblings somewhere.

      My husband and I have talked very frankly about our histories, including an assault I experienced as the victim, and whether he had any experiences he now regrets or wonders about whether they were fully consensual. He has no doubts and I believe him. I also know that he’s very shy and that I had to make all the moves to get things started with him when we were dating, so what he says is consistent with the man I know.

      • thought this through

        My husband’s personality sounds like your boyfriend’s. And, though I don’t know my father in a romantic context at all, he is so quiet and private and introverted he sounds similar to your boyfriend, as well. That being said, if there were drugs or alcohol involved (unlikely in both cases) my suspicions would be raised

    • anon

      False accusations are so, so rare that although it would be extremely difficult and painful, I would believe them. Obviously there are a million different scenarios that would make it particularly difficult for me to believe them (if the person had a history of accusations that had later been proven to be false, or there was no evidence that they had ever met one another, etc. etc.) but at the end of the day, I would. My SO’s personality is such that I honestly think he’d have to suffer a traumatic brain injury before he would do that to anyone, but there are probably people out there who would say the same thing about men who have behaved badly towards me, so…

    • Anonymous

      I was married to a guy who was accused of s*xual harassment at work. The accusation had to do with off color comments, not actions. I believed her. I also believed my husband.

      It’s not necessarily a matter of who’s lying because no one is. Each party will have a different view of the same event. Woman will say that the behavior was hurtful because it was – and her description of the behavior will seem so alien to the guy that he denies it happened (like that) because he believed at the time it was all in good fun. You can 100% believe the guy that he didn’t intend to cause harm, and 100% believe the woman that she was harmed. That’s what I assumed happened with my husband – I’m sure he made some awful comment thinking it was just a “joke” between “friends” and I’m sure, to her, it very much did not feel like a “joke” from a “friend.”

      • Anon

        I find it refreshing that you believe the woman in this case when it was your own husband! Good for you.

        I hope that through this experience your husband has learned something about appropriate work behavior. I’m assuming that since he is married to someone like you, he didn’t just come away thinking “b1tches be lyin’” or “everyone needs to learn how to take a joke.”

        • Anon

          “I find it refreshing that you believe the woman in this case when it was your own husband! Good for you.”

          Would you approve of a man who told another man “good for you” if he believed some dude at work instead of his own wife?

          I’m marrying my fiance because he doesn’t try to excuse the way my abusive former boss treated me. I keep trying to find someone for one of my best friends because he unequivocally took my side and helped me during that nightmare.

      • Anonymous

        We are going through something similar. My husband was shocked and outraged to hear that he was accused of something. When he told me what it was I told him “Yes, you did that” and explained that he also did it at home but it was something I expected he had the manners to not do in public. His career is going to take a hit for it but I believe he did the right thing by discussing it with his boss that he did it and he was sorry and he didn’t intend harm.

  19. Baconpancakes

    How does Uniqlo’s sweater sizing run? I’m really feeling the lovely blue cashmere sweater color they have right now.

  20. Shopaholic

    Any thoughts on booties that go up a bit higher? More like mid-calf? I found the cutest and comfiest pair but I just don’t know if I would get enough wear out of them. Thoughts? Thanks all!

    • AZCPA

      This is all I wear now – totally love mid calf. As a short curvy person, I prefer the line it give me, as I don’t feel cut off at the ankle.

    • anon

      I have a pair like that and find them difficult to wear. They don’t work with jeans — the boots are too tall for cuffing to look right. Tucking the jeans in also looks dumb. Basically, these boots only work with leggings, and I’m not a huge leggings person.

    • Badlands

      I have a pair of mid-calf wedge boots (I don’t consider them booties at that point) that. And I wear them skinny jeans tucked into my socks, or trouser cut pants over. Or leggings. But I’m also in a pretty casual environment. You could cuff, but the cuff would come over the top of the boot vs meeting at the top of the boot. But bonus – you can wear socks!

      Boots are the Sorel Joan of Arctic Wedge boots

  21. Venting

    I am sick and tired of co-workers telling me “we just need to do what the client/funder demands,” even when the demand is objectively unreasonable. This is how we get in situations where someone makes a promise that is impossible to fulfill and then I end up on the hook to fulfill it. Scr3w them all.

    • Anonymous

      yeah….demands are an input, but it’s also your job to manage expectations about what’s manageable.

  22. Georgette George

    Helping out on a big project with a lot of moving pieces right now, and the person in charge of it 1) assumes no one working on it is working on anything else, and 2) has the very annoying habit of just barging in to my office and spouting off requests/assigning new projects/asking me to look things up when I’m clearly in the middle of doing something else. Nothing productive to add, just venting. Blergh.

  23. Anonymous

    Suggestions for a probate attorney in Columbia County, Georgia (near Augusta)? It is a very small estate consisting only of real property.

  24. Anonymous

    Just saying to the Internets because I don’t have anyone to say it to in real life. We moved from my husband’s home town to a city 3 hours away. Our friends have been amazing – funny texts, quick check ins, visits, or plans to visits. Our friendships haven’t missed a beat (I mean we all work, so it’s not like we were hanging out all the time away.) Meanwhile, my in laws have made zero efforts to keep in touch, even with the kids. They are big “family values” people – and love posting political and religious stuff on FB, and I have to keep biting my tongue. Apparently family values means telling women what to do with their bodies or black athletes to stand for the anthem, not actually valuing their family. Ok I’m done! :)

    • Eh

      It’s pretty clear you don’t actually like your in-laws… so shouldn’t you be glad they’re not keeping in touch?

    • Anonymous

      Have you reached out to them? My older relatives often feel like they’re imposing when they call, so they just…don’t. And texting varies greatly by individual. My nearly blind 95 year old grandmother is desperately lonely, but hates to call for fear of interrupting our “busy” lives (to which I reply I’m doing life wrong if I don’t have 15 minutes to chat with my grandmother).

      Depending on the family, your in-laws may not be used to people moving away. For the most part, my husband’s huge family all live within 30 minutes of each other. My husband is one of the few to move away. His parents had to find the balance of what having their sons out of state looked like. Maybe your ILs are facing the same thing?

      • two Cents

        Very true, my mom and I are close but she doesn’t call me that often. She knows I’m really busy with work and the kids and says that she doesn’t want to bother me, so she waits for me to call her.

    • MomAnon4This

      Oh yeah, my husband’s dad’s “family values” apparently mean to email family members about what terrible people we are. You are better off without them in your life! Just support your husband and let him lead with relationship to in-laws.

      Sometimes I use the line to my kids, yeah, Papa was a good dad and he loves you a lot but he can’t be a good grandpa right now.

      They don’t need to know it’s because he refuses to drive, fly, or keep in touch by phone, email, Skype, letter, telegram, anything. Whatever.

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions