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We’re curious what the readers have to say about today’s reader mail:
This is embarrassing, but I’ve been fighting a losing battle with my weight for a while now. Before the holidays, I had about a week and a half”s worth of clothes that still fit. After the holidays I’m now down to a few pairs of pants and a very stretchy skirt. I wore a summer dress (t-shirt material!) the other day because it was the only thing that fit and was clean!! Should I just give up and go buy new clothes? I don’t have any major meetings or suit-wearing things coming up, and the only person at work who sees me on a daily basis is my secretary.
Eeeesh, we hear you, sister — the holidays were not kind to us either. For our $.02, you’re treading on thin water with such a limited wardrobe — even if no one sees you regularly, we feel like people will start to notice. Besides, it’s always more professional (and flattering!) to wear clothes that fit, rather than stuff yourself into clothes that are too small. But in terms of whether you have to give up the ghost and go buy new clothes… our answer to your question depends on a number of factors.
Assess how fast it will take you to lose the holiday weight. (To us, the holiday weight and the pre-holiday weight are different animals.) What is your current schedule like? Have your eating and exercise habits returned to normal (or have you even stepped it up a notch?) It’s been two weeks since New Year’s Eve — have you lost weight since then?
How much effort does it take you to fit back into your old clothes? For example, if you avoid sodium-filled foods and drink water with lemon (helps with bloating) for a day, can you fit back into your pre-holiday pants? What effect do products like Spanx have on your wardrobe — can you fit back into smaller clothes by wearing them, even if you’re uncomfortable for the day?
Finally, what’s your budget like? If your bra no longer fits (and an extender doesn’t help), you should put some of the money towards buying a new bra. If your Spanx collection is limited but helps you fit into your clothes, put the money into those types of things. Beyond that — do you have the basic things to wear? We’d list that as black trousers, one simple pair of colored trousers (gray? brown?), a black skirt, and a black blazer. If you don’t have those things, troll the sales or hit the lower-cost stores like Old Navy, Limited, or Ann Taylor Loft. Beyond that, we might advise you to buy empire-waisted dresses that fit your bust and arms. (The bonus to these is that you can wear them both when you’re smaller and larger.)
The other thing we’re going to advise is to set a time limit. You say you have no major meetings or suit-worthy events coming up — but it will not always be that way. Figure out how much weight you’ve gained (yes, get on the scale), pick a sensible diet and exercise program, and give yourself 1.5 weeks to lose each pound. At the end of the time, reassess. We would say that if you haven’t made any progress, just bite the bullet and buy some new clothes. If you can fit into your pre-holiday clothes (and feel like you’re on a losing streak) then hold firm, and continue to lose weight until your old wardrobe fits.
There are no right answers here, and it’s a difficult question. Readers, what are your rules of thumb for buying larger sizes? Do you do anything like give away clothes you haven’t fit into for a year or more? What do you think the reader should do?
ct
I read something awhile ago that stuck with me: to avoid getting larger with age, vow never to buy bigger pants. It’s almost become accepted as normal to gain weight as you age, but it’s not inevitable or unpreventable. (Even the tiny amount of 1 pound a year adds up to 20 pounds over 20 years!) I agree with the the thinking that if you buy bigger pants, you are making it mentally much easier on yourself to give up on returning to your prior size. If you accept this, “give up” on losing the weight and have conceded to “losing the battle,” then I don’t see what the problem is with buying new clothes. If you don’t want to concede to becoming the larger size, buy new larger clothes if you must, but keep in mind that it will make you more “comfortable,” in more ways than one, being larger. If you can lose the weight while wearing the larger clothes, good for you – the only loss is the money spent on the larger clothes, which, as others have said, can be donated or tailored.
M in CA
I disagree. Having been there, and having made the decision to buy the bigger clothes, I can say with certainty that the only thing I was giving myself “permission” to do was to buy clothes that fit the body I had at the time, and to feel good about the fact that my clothes looked like they fit. I was bigger than I wanted to be, yes, but at least I knew I looked put-together and professional, which in its own way was a much-needed self-esteem booster.
I did not start feeling comfortable “being larger,” as you say, simply because I had clothes that fit. The ongoing efforts to lose the weight and regain my health continued, but the daily battles with my closet, and all the stress that came along with that, stopped. Which, for me, was a good thing.
ct
If that worked for you, great. For me, the stress of tight pants gives me extra motivation to get back into shape – but I do have skirts for work that are more forgiving and wearable than pants when I am bigger (in that they sit higher on my waist, but aren’t too short).
y
I honestly can not wear pants that are too tight because it would squeeze my stomach and make me gag. I would probably get a few basic outfits and try not to build an entire wardrobe if you think you will be able to get back in your original size. Can you take a few pants that can be let out and take them to the seamstress instead? Also, find material (and styles) that are a little bit more forgiving so that it can accommodate a small range of fluctuation in your weight.
I wore a size 8 for a long time, and after I lost weight, I still wore my size 8 outfits for a while while I transitioned to buying size 6 clothes. I actually kept most of my size 8 clothes which now comes handy as I am expecting (especially the roomy tops that are more forgiving than the pants). Good luck.
redheadesq.
Totally love the last two comments by M in CA and y. Hay for high self esteem!! Someone earlier mentioned Spanx — is anyone REALLLY comfortable sitting at her desk all day in Spanx?? I wore the “Power Panties” one day and I had to rip them off by 11 am after horrible cramps from being squeezed in so hard at my desk. Yuck.
KC
Agreed re: the earlier comments that even once you lose the weight, you will likely get some use out of larger clothes if you’re planning on having children. I bought a variety of inexpensive pants and tops/sweaters (along with one suit) one size up from my normal size when I had my first baby. They got me throught early pregnancy until I had to buy maternity clothes. When I went back to work after the baby, they got me through until the last of the baby weight came off (which for me took nine months). Now that I’m pregnant again, I expect to be back in them pretty soon. It was very much worth the money that I spent to have things that fit well and looked good even if it was just for a few months.
Also, I was unexpectedly surprised by how much I liked having a smaller wardrobe–it made getting ready everyday much easier. This stuck with me even after I lost the weight and I ended up getting rid of a lot of clothes that I didn’t love. I had a lot of luck with The Limited for this type of stuff–obviously the quality isn’t something that is going to last a lifetime, but for an “interim wardrobe” it worked out very well.
www.closetpeek.com
Dear M,
I think, Kat and the other commenters have already made the best suggestions in terms of clothes. Buy a few now and use some tricks, so you can feel comfortable, and re-assess after trying to lose some.
I’d like to note that putting on a few extra pounds is normal (especially beyond 25) and I don’t think there is any shame in gaining a bit. But it sounds like you are uncomfortable with your post-holiday weight, so I would like to suggest a diet change (not a “diet” – most cardio problems actually stem from yo-yo rather than being overweight for a long time) that can really help with that. Since I started working I have finally found eating discipline so I always kept my weight in a certain range, however this past year due to a complete lack of exercise keeping my weight meant eating very little. And I love food too much for that. The diet I’d like to propose is called Insulin-Food-Combining. The book about it is available on google books. Basically the diet just mandates when you eat what food groups but allows you to eat more and still lose/maintain weight. You’re supposed to eat lots (we’re talking 4 full sized pretzels) of carbs in the morning, whatever you like for lunch and stick to protein-rich foods (think Hamburger sans bun, salmon and eggs) and no carbs at night. The research behind the diet suggests that a lot of the fat burning happens at night, but only when your body is not dealing with the insulin from recent carb ingestion. Also proteins combined with carbs (think full burger or cheese pizza) speed up fat storage. So following the diet you can eat a lot of everything, just at the right times. The regimen also automatically eliminates snacking, because a major factor is eating just three times a day so your insulin production can slow down in between and your body focus on burning fat. Exercise is strongly suggested, but I am too lazy for that and just by changing my diet to this regimen it’s been super easy to maintain my weight without going hungry.
Hope it helps.
beenthere
I’m probably older than anyone else on this list, and I finally have the answer to this. The only way to lose weight is to go out and buy some nice, expensive bigger clothes. It’s worth the money to lose weight.
Then part two – if you are like I was, as soon as you lose weight, you promise yourself you will never get fat again, and you throw out all the “fat clothes.” Not this time.
I gained nearly 50 lbs in law school, and as I lost the weight, I boxed all the fat clothes up. I have boxes in my closet labeled from 110 up to 150 (I’m short). A few times, I’ve had to pull out the 110-115 for a week or two. This time, I will keep those boxes until the clothes disintegrate. They are my insurance policy.
sam
I totally agree. I have identical clothes in sizes 6, 8, and 10. I also have identical sweaters in small and medium. I found that if I really like my bigger clothes, I have a harder time losing weight unless I also own them in smaller sizes. I wait to buy the additional sizes until the clothes are on sale.