Coffee Break: Lendra Pump

64 Comments

1. The blog Cupcakes and Cashmere has a nice post today with networking tips for introverts (and really everyone) that I found helpful. There have been a lot of questions on this s!te lately about how to be less introverted or how to be more effective at networking when you are an introvert so I thought I would pass it along:

   http://cupcakesandcashmere.com/series-stories/networking-for-introverts

2. Amazon has the purple at the same price, but you get free returns.
   I own these shoes in a different color and they are very comfortable.

3. Do you send thank you notes to a panel of people who interviewed and selected you for a job? Some of these folks will be co-workers/ supervisors, others are staff at other interested but unrelated organizations. I have accepted the position and will start soon.

   1. My two cents: I wouldn’t send a thank you if you’ve already accepted the position. I think it’s nice (but not required) to send a follow-up immediately after the interview thanking them for the time they took to interview you. However, something sits a little funny with me around sending a note after you’ve been offered a job to essentially say, “Hey, thanks for picking me over everyone else!” The fact that they offered you the job implies that they see mutual benefit – you will get a good job and they will get a good employee. So no need for a thank you note per se.

      However, you could drop a quick email to say, “I’m really looking forward to starting on such and such date, I enjoyed talking with you during our interview and hope we’ll cross paths etc” A minor distinction but I think comes across better than “thank you for deciding to hire me.”

   2. I send email thank you notes after interviews, but I don’t think that’s what you’re asking. I would not send thank you notes to people that selected you for a job. It’s not like they’re doing you a favor; you are being hired to fill some need that they have.

   3. No. I’m not particularly a fan of post-interview thank you notes, but those are a thing. Thank-yous for getting the job are not a thing— unless maybe for someone who made a connection for you, gave you a stellar recommendation, etc. But not a panel who selected you because you were the most qualified.

      1. Thank-yous after an interview are a thank-you for their time and consideration. They should be sent to anyone who interviews you regardless of their rank or position. I think it’s a bad idea to not send thank you notes after an interview – I’m not sure if I’ve ever heard of someone being offended because they got a thank-you note, whereas I know a ton of people who would mark you down if you didn’t send the thank-you. Note: I think this is dumb, but I think it’s the safe route.

         That said, the ship has sailed if you’ve already been offered and have accepted the position. Clearly you didn’t offend anyone by not sending the thank-you notes because you got the job. I wouldn’t send one at this point.

         1. I understand what post-interview thank-you notes are. I did them when I was an applicant because I know some people view them as a must-do, but on the other side, I am not a fan, and I would like the practice to go away. I certainly don’t think we need to escalate to sending a thank you for being hired!

            1. Don’t worry – I wasn’t trying to ‘educate’ you. Just happened to post under your comment. I apologize if I offended.

         2. For current interviewees: If you must send thank you notes, do it with care. I have been offended and dinged people for sending post-interview thank-you notes that read like boilerplate, are unconvincingly effusive, or are generally awkward – and no note has ever made any positive difference to me. At least in SF, most people I’ve seen don’t send them, so I don’t think it’s enough of a “thing” that any reasonable person would be offended by not getting a note. For the OP: Definitely wouldn’t send a thank you after getting a job – quick note that you’re looking forward to working with them would be a nice touch, but not at all necessary.

            1. Notes make a positive difference for me. I would think less of an interviewee who didn’t send them. They show you have manners and care about building relationship.

               But not once you’ve accepted the position.

   4. Pretty shoe’s, and I agree, Kat, peep toe’s are NOT for my office, and also NOT for women in any city where there are dog’s that poop on the sidewalk! FOOEY b/c I have a bad habit of steppeing in it and then it get’s ALL OVER the place. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      As for the OP, Since you will be starting soon, I would send ONE single EMAIL to all on copy telling them thank you and that you LOOK forward to workeing with ALL of them! After all, you already DO have the job, so it’s NOT necesary to send all those note’s out and you will be there VERY soon, so you can alway’s take them out for a drink (unless they are AA peeople — Alan was and probabley is STILL a drunk). Speakeing of which, the manageing partner’s brother want’s to take me and Myrna out tonite with Harold for dinner. I said yes b/c he want’s to take us to the deli and he know’s Myrna is also a big deli fan. I am getting a bit concerned tho that he is spendeing to much time with me and Myrna and NOT lookeing for other women to spend time with once he moves into Manhattan. He is spendeng alot of time with Harold at his apartement (he pays the rent there for him anyway), but I think he need’s to find some other peeople to spend time other then me and Myrna and Harold. Myrna warned me about him b/c she saw the way he looke’d at me (and grabbed at me in the pool). She think’s he want’s to date me! He is to old for me and I do NOT think he is capeble of giveing me children at his age, tho Myrna says he can. FOOEY b/c the thought alone is NOT something I want to think about. He tells me all the time how virile he is. OMG, if he does move in next door, I am goeing to have to play my TV louder b/c I do NOT want to hear any of the sexueal grunteing comeing from his apartement — the bedroom is on the same wall as my kitchen. FOOEY!

      Does the HIVE agree with me or Myrna? I hope I am not leadeing him on by eateing deli with him.

   5. I agree; I wouldn’t send thank you notes if you have already accepted the position. Congrats on the new job!

   6. Great, thanks for the thoughts! The turnaround time was fast, so no opportunity for thank you notes post-interview, pre-offer (though I’m not a fan of that particular convention anyhow).

      1. I’m curious about not being a fan of TY notes. . . to me, it’s a basic show of appreciation for someone giving you their time. (and I say this as someone who firmly believes you are interviewing them as much as they interview you!)

         1. I totally agree with Ciao, pues. I find them so contrived and forced. And I say this as a member of my firm’s recruiting committee. I actually have dinged more people mentally for bad notes than not getting one at all (which I barely even notice).

            1. I agree with Maddie Ross. I’m in-house, and of all of the candidates we’ve hired during my tenure, none sent thank you notes after their interviews. It was never held against them (or even mentioned!). In contrast, bad thank you notes are always discussed (there were other reasons why those candidates weren’t hired, but the bad notes didn’t help matters).

            2. Well, I don’t think anyone would suggest a candidate send a bad thank-you note . . .

            3. What is a “bad” thank you note? I’m baffled. Spelling your name wrong, being too familiar, bad handwriting?

            4. to Baconpancakes, yes, yes, and yes, among other things. I don’t care for think you notes and believe that all they can do is hurt you. it is never what will set you apart in a good way; it can only set you apart in a bad way, and as others have noted, it often does.

            5. Okay, I agree with everything you guys are saying about thank-you notes being antiquated and unnecessary. But I think it’s horrible advice to tell people just not to do them!

               There still are plenty of throwbacks out there who are offended if they don’t get a thank-you note, especially in the early rounds of an interview. Why would you take that risk!? Just send a short, classy note on basic stationery, or send an email.

            6. Bad thank you notes has a substantial number of misspellings, particular of common words. Our hiring manager has a non-common name, and we’ve gotten a variety of spellings of it, which is understandable. But if one of the key components of the job is “attention to detail”, don’t misspell appreciate, or something else which could be easily checked.

         2. They are a waste; they add nothing substantive to the hiring process. If anything, they’re a way of signalling “I’m in the club; I know the rules” and can become yet one more way of screening out “outsiders”— those who don’t have access to the same knowledge regarding what the insiders like. I think any non-substantive hiring criterion can be abused. “It’s not that she’s pregnant; but she didn’t send a note!”

            On a practical level, it’s one more thing for me to read that doesn’t tell me anything about the applicant other than that she does what Career Services instructs. Even when the note is bad, it’s usually bad in the same way the interview was bad, so, again, no new information.

            Finally, I think they are overkill. Just as in personal etiquette, a thank-you note is not required for a gift received in person because you can directly express your thanks (with notable exception for Showers, which are a Whole Other Thing), the applicant should be showing their appreciation for the interviewer’s time at the conclusion of the interview. It’s overkill to write a note reiterating the thanks.

            1. Great comment.

            2. You could say many of the same things about wearing a suit to an interview, but it’s still something I would do even if it’s a pain or an artificial business convention. I also think it signals continued interest. Interviews work both ways and when I receive a thank you from a candidate, it tells me the interest is still high after learning more details about the position, team, company culture, etc. I would take that over someone equally qualified who seemed more meh about things.

            3. A counterpoint – I was told by several people after I was hired (as a lateral associate in Big Law) that my thank you notes were well written and made a very positive impression. So while I do think that as a general rule they are more likely to hurt than help, there are instances where they actually help. Now that I’m on the other side, I can say that I would never ding someone for not writing one, but I would notice and be surprised (since probably 95% of people we interview do send them). It’s just one of those things that you should do, even though a good one will help marginally or not at all and a bad one can really hurt.

               As far as bad things to avoid when writing them: obviously spelling someone’s name wrong, addressing someone by the wrong name or getting the name of the company or the details of the conversation wrong (“I enjoyed hearing about your work on X” when they’ve told you about work on Y). It’s always better to err on the side of caution so if the details of the conversation are fuzzy or you think you may be mixing up two people in your mind, it’s always best just to write something short and sweet like “I enjoyed meeting you today. Thanks for taking the time to interview me.” This isn’t as good as a correct, detailed note, but is way better than no note and way way way better than a note that gets something wrong. Also, try to avoid sending the same note verbatim to everyone. The substance can be largely the same, just change up the wording a little bit so it doesn’t look like you just hit copy & paste and replaced the name.

            4. This is a really persuasive argument. I still like Thank You notes, but I’m convinced that I am wrong.

            5. By George, you’re right! Looking back at hiring processes I’ve been party to, it was never the candidate who was hired as the best fit the job who sent the effusive thank you note to the panel or hiring manager. It’s not that he/she was hired because he/she didn’t send a note and the others were rejected because they did, but inevitably, the person who was hired was the clear choice even before any note could have been crafted and sent. In retrospect, the notes we did receive from the less qualified candidates felt forced and just underscored the gap between the person’s attributes and the fit we were looking for. I never thought of it that way because I’ve always subscribed to the old school “good manners means a thank you note no matter what” rule — until now.

4. DH and I recently bought a house and have been very gradually decorating it. We have most of our furniture now and have realized we don’t know anything about wall art. I’d like to think we have pretty good taste but we’re out of our depth when it comes to wall art. How can we develop our taste?

   1. I don’t know about developing taste/external art but one of my friends does something pretty cool. She loves to take pictures (on her iPhone and on her camera) and whenever she takes a big trip (or sometimes, even a little one!) she’ll pick a great picture from that trip (scenery/landmarks, less than people) and get it printed on canvas and put it up as wall art in her home. It’s a great conversation piece, looks awesome, is completely personal and is something I keep meaning to start doing!

   2. Try visiting local galleries, art museums, retail shops, etc… Don’t go to buy, just go to see. Identify what you like, and why you like it. Is it a certain color palette, a certain theme, a certain style, some of each, etc… Do the same with things you don’t like, figure out what it is you don’t like and why you don’t like it. Do the same with home decor magazines, interior decorating websites, and so on. Eventually you’ll be able to discern “your” tastes, and have a strong sense for what fits together and what doesn’t.

      I’m a big believer in your interior decorating matching your personality, interests, hobbies and so on. Rather than looking for trendy, look for what expresses who you are. Surround yourself with things you love.

   3. First decide on a budget. Then look around – blogs, pinterest, gallery window-shopping, etc. – and see first what draws your attention. Do you notice a theme? How much wall space do you have? Maybe one large piece will do the trick, or maybe you prefer a bunch of little things you like. I firmly believe art doesn’t have to fancy – what matters is that you like it. You have to see it everyday and live with it. It’s not meant to be functional like furniture or a car. It’s meant to be loved every time you see it. Have fun!! (Also I should mention that you don’t have to do everything at once; I think that leads to the biggest regrets/mistakes. It will come with time.)

      1. And for some affordable options look at Society 6 dot com (art available as prints as well as lots of other things, e.g. tote bags and i-phone covers) and 20×200 dot com (limited edition originals).

   4. I agree with the above advice. All the art I have is a combination of stuff I either picked up while travelling, or stuff that I came across and really fell in love with. Just go browsing and see if something speaks to you – I feel like it’s ok if you don’t have art for a while after moving in.

      I also really love the idea of blowing up pictures you take while traveling – one of my friends did this and I was amazed at how good it looks.

      1. Personally, I love giant original oil paintings that take up a whole wall. I’m also on a budget.

         So I visit tiny galleries (the kind that show artists you’ve never heard of, that may or may not be “up-and-coming,” art school galleries (some surprisingly wonderful finds here!), etsy, and even the kind of art sales that you see at craft markets and in parks. And then I forget all about trends and what’s in style right now and buy what speaks to me (personally, abstracts that seem peaceful to me for the home, and more energetic/brighter textured ones for the office).

5. I am not sure whether I like this shoe. On the one hand, it is purple. On the other, I’m not sure I like the patent/suede pattern. Please help.

   1. I love colored shoes but the pattern on these would really limit their use.

   2. I’ll help. You don’t like it. Though the colors are lovely, the pattern would be better suited to a fashionable sneaker than a pump.

   3. I have to say I don’t think I like it. It looks like someone put painter’s tape all over a shoe and forgot to take it off. Maybe that’s just on my screen though.

      This would probably be better on a different shoe as Anonymous @ 4 23 says. Even just a flat. I think no “tape” on heel is throwing this look off.

      1. I don’t like the pattern, either. The shape of the shoe and the heel height are great, though. I’d buy it in a solid color without question.

         1. 6pm shows them in a few solid color options: black leather, black patent, black suede, and nude-for-some. They also have a nude-for-some variation on the tape pattern which is a little more subtle.

6. Is this dress work appropriate? I really like it, but I’m worred I wouldn’t be able to wear a bra due to the cutouts:

   http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/adrianna-papell-cutout-yoke-crepe-sheath-dress/3783446?origin=category

   1. if you zoom in on the photo, there is a difference between the color peeking out of the cutouts and the color of the model’s skin, so I think the cutouts look lined (and therefore bra-friendly). It’s pretty! But, there is something weird to me about cutouts appearing “nude” but not actually being nude. I would worry that if my skin tone weren’t close enough to the lining that it would look weird.

   2. I think your straps would show through and you should always wear a bra to work. So, if you’re not comfortable in a strapless bra then I wouldn’t get it. (Wear bra or something approximating bra to work is the one rule we can all agree on, right?)

      1. I think that’s a know your office sort of thing. In my anything-goes office we have Topless Tuesdays, and if you wear a bra (or any top) you will be deemed too stuffy and not really a team player.

         :)

   3. Love the dress, but it reads really cocktail to me. My take on cutouts is that they’re ok in locations you would be ok fully exposing anyway. For me, that means cutouts ok in the arms (since sleeveless is ok at my work) but not on the décolletage. I think you should get it and wear it at night!

      1. This would be perfect for a work c*cktail event – you’re clearly dressing up, but still not showing any skin.

      2. Thanks for the comments!

7. Wanted to report back on some boots that a few people were discussing last week – Ecco Sullivans (824985). Mine came today, the grey is gorgeous in person, and for those of us who are generous of calf, they zipped up over my chino-type pants just fine – there is some cleverly hidden stretch on both sides. Now I have to think about whether the keep them – just not sure if the grey is usable outside of over my jeans.

8. How much should I expect to pay to have an a-line skirt altered to be a straight/pencil skirt?

   I found a nice vintage suit but the a-line on the skirt makes it less formal than I’d like and am wondering if it would be worth-while to get it altered.

   I’m in Vancouver.

   1. I’ve never had that particular alteration done, but I’d guess the cost is substantial, in the $40 range. In addition to taking in the fullness, the hem will have to be entirely redone. Could be less though, so maybe others will weigh in.

9. I’m trying to order a couple of silk shells from Talbots, but I’ve never shopped there before. Do they run big/small?

   1. I’d say they run wide- For reference, I’m 5’8, a 34 D/34 DD, 26 inch waist, 38 inch hips and a small is loose and floaty on me.

   2. They run big – sort of like Jones New York.

   3. THanks, both of you!

10. I know Easy Spirit is a controversial (or verboten) brand here, but here’s a PSA for unfashionable bargain shoppers: I just ordered the Giota flat for $29.99 direct from Easy Spirit on eBay (returnable for 30 days). On the ES website it’s priced at $79.99. Is that weird or what?

11. Just read the Friday thread today over lunch. If you’re still looking for Bell’s Palsy think-positive stories, he’s mine. I woke up about two and a half years ago (at age 51) with drooping on one side of my face and slurring, thought I’d had a stroke. The ER nurse recognized it immediately as Bell’s Palsy and the doc confirmed it — after an MRI just to check — and put me on steroids and an anti-viral. (IIRC, I had recently had a cold; he said a virus can trigger it.

    I had an all-day arbitration hearing the very next day, and no way to postpone it, so I just soldiered through. I did have to mention it upfront — among other things, my affected eye watered constantly, like I was crying, so I had a tissue to my face most of the day and needed an extra break or two to wash my face (and drink water outside public view — it was like I had novocaine and was dribbling). The slurring wasn’t too bad and the other folks in the hearing were nice about the whole thing.

    The worst part was sleeping with my eye taped shut for a week or so (since the eyelid wouldn’t close, the doctor said it would get too dry over night). The drooping diminished and was almost unnoticeable after a week or 10 days and I was totally fine in less than three weeks.

    I know some people have had it much worse than me, but the Bell’s Palsy was fine, totally manageable.

    1. Thanks to you and everyone else who took the time to share their experiences. It helps to hear positive outcomes and just know you’re not alone in dealing with it.

12. How are pointed toe pumps supposed to fit? I have a pair that supposedly runs true-to-size so I ordered my normal 8.5 but they just feel ‘tight’ all over. I don’t know if it’s b/c they’re leather and not broken in yet, or whether I’m not used to the pointed toe box.

    I don’t know whether to try and break them in or return them. Thoughts? Here they are:

    http://www.dsw.com/shoe/enzo+angiolini+call+me+leather+pump?prodId=299524&brand=dsw11brand2800022&activeCats=women,dsw11brand2800022&isBrand=y&categoryName=women

    1. It totally depends on the shoe. If they’re 100% leather on the outside and inside they’ll stretch a bit. However, this is why I buy shoes exclusively at Nordstroms for their no hassle return policy. I’ve bought pumps at other retailers, wore them for a few days hoping they would stretch, they didn’t stretch, and then I owned $80 shoes that I couldn’t wear. Most places refuse to take shoes back if they have any signs of war. I’ve had this happen to me a few times with shoes purchased at Nordstrom’s and I will take them back and get a different size or a totally different pair.

13. Interview tips for a government attorney looking to move to a fairly large firm? I’m in a specialized field that should transition well to the firm position, but I’m wondering if there’s any government stigma I’ll need to overcome – I’ve been in this job for 5 years and have no firm experience.

    1. The normal stigma I hear about folks in government jobs is that they work 9-5 (or less) and are super lazy in their jobs because they can’t be fired. This is NOT true, but I think those are the stereotypes you want to make clear don’t apply to you.

       1. Having worked in the public sector now for 4 years after many years in the private sector and operating my own business, I can truly say I’ve never worked harder, and all the people around me (except for a few old-schoolers who pretty much resemble the stereotype) are like me in that respect. I think that most private sector firm hiring managers these days are sensitive to any kind of profiling or stereotyping and will see you for your merits rather than painting you with the brush of an outdated stereotype. A firm that doesn’t consider you for your body of work but dismisses your talent because you are a “government worker” may not be one you want to work for anyway.

14. I made the transition from gov’t to in-house. I found that non-government people don’t have a good grasp of the level of responsibility you have in government. As a government attorney I had primary decision making responsibility on legal matters with multi-million and billon dollar impact. I found that I had to educate my interviewers on the significant scope, breadth and depth of my government responsibilities and that because of that experience I was prepared to hit the ground running with the firm or company’s significant matters.

    Additionally, if you regularly interact with significant senior leaders in the government, make that know. Not in a name dropping kind of way but to demonstrate that you are accustomed ( and trusted) to rendering legal advice directly to senior level decision makers- your are seasoned in rendering sound and well founded legal advice to “clients”.

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