Should You Tell Your Colleagues That You’re Autistic?
If you're doing well in your job, but your supervisor and coworkers don't know that you're autistic, should you tell them? Should you let them know when you interview, when you start work, or only if you need specific accommodations and/or if problems arise? We recently heard from an autistic lawyer who is trying to make that decision:
Reader M asks:
I've been recently diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. It's not a huge surprise, an assessment was begun when I was a child and discontinued because my parents were concerned about me being labeled. Now, before my diagnosis I skipped three grades, entered law school young enough that I was the youngest woman there for all three years, did incredibly well at my bar exam, and have been successfully employed. Should I go public with my diagnosis? What could go wrong?
This is a really interesting question. We haven't talked about autism before, but we recently discussed how to manage ADHD in the workplace (incidentally, up to 50% of people with autism show signs of ADHD), and we've also shared advice on disclosing other personal/medical information at work, such as how to announce your pregnancy at work, as well as tips for handling frequent doctors' appointments and making time for therapy.
Note to readers: Some people on the autism spectrum prefer being referred to as “a person with autism,” while many identify themselves as “an autistic person.” (This is framed as person-first vs. identity-first language.) We don't know what Reader M prefers, so we're using both.
For readers who don't know a lot about autism, here are a few facts to frame the conversation about ASD and the office:
- The term “Asperger's syndrome,” once used to refer to people with “high-functioning” autism (although the “high”/”low” binary is not ideal), was rolled into the general diagnosis of “autism spectrum disorder” (ASD) in 2013 (not without controversy).
- Each person on the spectrum has different skills and challenges, as this comic and color wheel by Rebecca Burgess illustrates. As the saying goes, “If you’ve met one person with autism … you’ve met one person with autism.” Not all autistic people “think in pictures” like Temple Grandin; not all are great at holding thousands of line of code in their head like the Silicon Valley programmers Steve Silberman writes about; and not all act like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory or Raymond from Rain Man.
- Autism can present differently in girls and women, which often leads to misdiagnosis, missed diagnosis, and/or late diagnosis. Also, women are generally more successful than men at camouflaging signs of autism.
- The most recent CDC report on autism among children estimates that 1 in 59 had a diagnosis of autism by age 8, and studies have found that between 1% and 2% of adults are autistic (in North America, Europe, and Asia).
We sought advice from the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, which “seeks to advance the principles of the disability rights movement with regard to autism,” and certified coach Barbara Bissonnette, who offers career development, job coaching, and workplace advocacy for people with Asperger's through Forward Motion Coaching.
Before we share advice from ASAN, we'll pass on their personal message to Reader M: “Congratulations on learning more about yourself, and for reaching out. We’re glad to know you’re part of our world.” (As their email response was a joint effort, we aren't attributing their quotes to a single person.) Here is their input:
Realize that being openly autistic at work can have an impact beyond your own experience. “[It] can also help make your workplace more welcoming for autistic and disabled employees who come after you. … [Y]ou can challenge people’s preconceived ideas and make your field more accepting,” say the folks at ASAN.
Still, consider the risks: “People can change the way they see you, or start looking at you through a stereotypical lens,” says ASAN. “Sometimes, if the way they treat you differently is subtle, it can be hard to prove that they are discriminating against you or make them stop.” (Ed. Note: See this recent Ask a Manager post.)
Know that your experience may be a mixed bag: “We know autistic lawyers who are successfully practicing in their fields (we have a couple working here at ASAN!). We have also heard about autistic people being discriminated against in law — for example, an employer limiting an autistic lawyer’s access to clients after learning about their disability.”
Do some research specific to your field: “We aren’t aware of any states which would not let you be admitted to the bar because of an autism diagnosis, but it is a good idea to check your state’s bar questions to be sure. It might also be helpful to check out the ABA's Commission on Disability Rights, which has a disabled attorney mentoring program.”
Remember, it's all up to you. “[D]isclosing your disability at work is a personal decision, and it is yours alone to make,” says ASAN.
Here are some of Barbara Bissonnette's tips for Reader M on whether she should tell her colleagues that she's autistic:
Learn how the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) protects you — and your employer. Your employer must make “reasonable accommodations for qualified employees who disclose,” says Bissonnette, who adds, “the modification cannot cause an undue hardship to the employer.”
Make a list of the challenges you face at work and be proactive by requesting accommodations. “Make sure that your list does not contain problems related to basic job readiness,” says Bissonnette, who suggests The Job Accommodation Network as a resource, and offers a free guide on her website called Workplace Disclosure Strategies for Individuals with Asperger’s Syndrome & Nonverbal Learning Disorder. You'll likely need a doctor or another qualified provider to verify your diagnosis, she says.
Make sure HR documents your request and works with your manager. Otherwise, you're in charge of who knows about your diagnosis. “You can choose to keep it confidential, between human resources and your supervisor,” says Bissonnette. “Or you can identify specific coworkers whom you want to know.”
Be prepared for your employer to counter with alternative accommodations. “Be professional, and demonstrate a positive attitude and willingness to compromise. Making demands and threatening legal action puts the employer on the defensive.”
If you are a lawyer with autism (or work in any another field), what would your advice be for Reader M? In your opinion, should you tell your colleagues that you're autistic? If you are open about your autism at work, what have been the pros and cons? Readers with any disability/condition that has led you to request accommodations at work: Were your efforts successful? Would you have done differently?
Psst: Here's a recent discussion at Spectrum News on the risks and benefits of disclosing your autism diagnosis to future and current employers.
Stock image via Deposit Photos / monkeybusiness.
My thoughts (big disclaimers that these are just my opinions!) on just the social aspect of this. (My spectrum disorder is NLD, so I often can parse out what happened in a social situation–I just can’t do it while it’s happening, I have to process it verbally later.)
–They already know everything they need to know (in general, we don’t pass as well as we think we do, and anything about us that affects at work is already visible to our coworkers because it affects us at work!).
–Vanishingly few people will reinterpret traits they don’t like more positively because they are told they are the result of a spectrum disorder. Most people who would be understanding are understanding to begin with.
–Of people who won’t be understanding, some will be offended at the idea that someone with a spectrum disorder could do their job.
–Of people who won’t be understanding, some won’t believe you really have a spectrum disorder even if you tell them (and that ADHD isn’t real).
–If you disclose, you will probably wonder if random stuff is a response to the diagnosis or not (i.e., you’ll get to experience the ‘was that a microaggression’ mind game). If it’s ableism and eugenics, it’s probably not; both are pervasive enough that they’re probably not directed at you–but hearing these things can hurt more when you know that people know. If people start treating you like you are younger than them or like you are a child, it probably is about you.
In favor of disclosing:
Camouflaging is a huge expenditure of energy (as the link Kat posted discusses).
There are studies that show that people without ADHD/ASD have social deficits in majority ADHD/ASD social situations, just as people with ASD and ADHD have social deficits in majority “neurotypical” social situations. People who think similarly tend to get along with each other. But it’s possible to invest so much in camouflaging that you become bad with people who think like you without ever mastering neurotypical norms.
Men who are good at what they do in some professions get away with ASD traits to a certain extent (and are sometimes glamorized or admired for doing so!), so women should get to as well.
I’m generally in favor of disclosing to certain people, especially since one of my symptoms is seizures. My office is smaller so say the call center people don’t need to know. But people in my immediate vicinity know, as well as my chain of command.
Actually why I came here… I have a subpoena to be a witness, for a trial a few hours away. I haven’t received a response from the attorney or the court ADA office about accomodations since I’m not supposed to drive long distances. What’s the worst that can happen if I don’t show because I can’t get someone to travel with me?
You could be held in contempt of court, which you do not want. Keep trying to reach out to the attorney who subpoenaed you. Call three times per day if you have to. Yes, it’s on them to accommodate you, but not showing up is not a legal option for you.
Thanks!
I called the courthouse today to see about what they might offer and they sent me to the judge’s assistant. So at least the judge’s staff knows I’m trying to be compliant.
People who aren’t ASD–I hope you’ll also chime in to say whether you would want to be told, or how you’ve felt if you have been told before!
My daughter is on the spectrum so it has made me hyper aware. I am a managing attorney at a government agency and over a large staff. A couple have self identified as adhd or asd but I’m pretty sure a few others have diagnoses.
As a parent, having a diagnosis has been extremely valuable in arguing for services and the label has not hurt her since children intuitively know.
I personally believe the only way to de-stigmatize is to own a label. It can be hard, but it uncovers true friends/good people faster than anything else.
Thank you for getting a diagnosis and services for your daughter! Right now we have pre- and post- mainstreaming generations in the workplace, and the younger generation does seem more comfortable with ASD. One way to find the “good people” is to look for communities that are inclusive of other kinds of diversity. The safest places I’ve found are communities that include different countries of origin and language backgrounds, income brackets, race, gender/orientation, religion, and degrees of health and disability. ASD differences often fade in the context of other differences, and you already know the community doesn’t feel entitled to its homogeneity.
I’m non-ASD (at least I don’t have a diagnosis) dealing with this. I was raised by a special education teacher. I’m sensitive to people with ASD and disabilities. I’m pro-disclosure. I’ve even asked why people don’t disclose. I talk about my preferred learning, work and communication styles all the time. It doesn’t seem much different. I have colleagues who have disclosed and often discuss their ADHD diagnosis and it’s really helped understand their style of working and communicating.
On the other hand, I’ve had a couple of colleagues who have not disclosed (at least company-wide) and may not even have ASD. Instead, everyone assumes, whispers and throws out presumputous comments, which is annoying because I was taught never to diagnose someone else and it’s just rude. It’s silly but I end up being overly protective when there may be no reason to be.
If you disclose, there’s a chance some will see every “unique” thing about you through the ASD. So, if you do disclose, you can just say how it expresses in you specifically.
I should also add. When I have been told by friends, not much changed. For one particular friend, I just know that I have to be careful with my use of sarcasm because he struggles with that. But I have friends without ASD who also don’t get sarcasm because they just don’t like it. Don’t let secrets weigh you down.
I agree with Catherine. Owning your diagnoses can be very freeing, and at least in my field (Education) no one would have an issue with people on the autism spectrum as long as they can do the job. This may end up being a know your office kind of thing.
I have to say, that has really not been my experience in Education!
I’m sorry to hear that.
I shouldn’t have complained, but my experiences in tech and in academia have been a lot better. Education is still sorting some stuff out (i.e., a tradition of dehumanizing and infantilizing research that excludes and combats ASD perspectives), and people can be really weird about things. I know they mean well, but they complain about their students (in a kind of “bless their hearts” mode), and just generally don’t get it. And some people seem to want special needs students to conform much more than typical students are expected to do. It’s all friendly, but I’ve found it a weirdly stressful “supportive” environment where soft skills and culture tend to be emphasized over tasks and achievements.