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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 196 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Belted Circle Skirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Sophie Theallet Belted Circle SkirtIt's hard to find a circle skirt that looks professional enough for the office, but I'm really liking this one from French designer Sophie Theallet's new collaboration with The Limited. (You may recognize her name because Michelle Obama often wears her dresses.)  For once, I like the belt (although it is removable), and I like the pattern on the skirt. To keep it on the grown up, professional side of things, I'd wear it with skinny-heeled shoes (not flats or stacked heels) and if possible add structure to the top of the outfit, such as with a cropped jacket or a fitted, neatly-tucked blouse. It's $79.90 at The Limited. Sophie Theallet Belted Circle Skirt P.S. Today, take 40% off your original ticket price with code MAY40, bringing the skirt's price down to $47.94; The Limited is also offering an additional 25% off markdowns. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)  

Sales of note for 9.30.24

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Comments

  1. Calibrachoa

    … So guess whose alarm had died during the night for no discernible reason and led to showing up at work 3 hours late today?

    Yeah. *sigh*

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      Sorry to hear this and wow have I been here. After a redeye flight from NY to London last month, I went to bed at 8.30pm and woke up the next morning, well rested, at 9.36!

    • Bloom

      I’ve had this happen as well, and while it is really cr*ppy, sometimes I think it happens because your body needs sleep!

    • NOLA

      Oh I’ve been there. Had a phone malfunction and no backup alarm. I woke up and it was light out – and it’s never light out when I get up for work. And, surprisingly, my cat did not decide that I needed to wake up. You’ll be fine.

      • Calibrachoa

        I hope so.. worried about the HR response as they are absolutely evil about this sort of a thing. I am just really, really REALLY glad the big client site visit was cancelled!

    • Mary Ann Singleton

      You know, if you overslept by 3 hours, your body really, really needed that sleep – worth more than spending those hours at work. It was the universe conspiring to make that happen.

    • Island girl

      My secretary would have called me if I was more than 30 minutes late. Our federal litigation agency was/is really evil about any hint of tardiness. I got a written reprimand about two years ago for being, respectively, 5 minutes and 6 minutes late. (I didn’t even know I was late until I got the reprimand.) Unbelievable, especially given that I never leave work until I’ve put in at least a 10 – 11 hour day. I was always the last person to leave, usually by two or more hours. (Prompt exit by most at either 4:30 or 5:00 pm.)

      Shortly thereafter I went on a relentless job search. Got lucky and am back in private practice where the exact minute you enter the office is not documented, and long hours are appreciated.

    • roses

      While that is a very nice classic dress and I’m sure high quality, does anyone else feel like if you’re going to shell out for a designer piece, it should look very special? I sort of feel like if I was going to buy a DVF dress, I would want it to be recognizable as a DVF (printed wrap dress, for instance). Not to say that the average person would recognize it, but I would feel more like my money was worth it because it’s something special. This could purely be a function of me being relatively new to having a disposable income, however.

      • roses

        DVF was just an example, btw – I’m not sure if there is a Tory Burch “style” aside from those flats with the buckle on them.

      • Blair Waldorf

        This is just my experience, but I find that even the basics from a nice designer make a world of difference, even if it’s a simple cut that no one would identify as a specific designer. The cut, fabric, and tailoring really show.

        Not all designer classic pieces are worth the money, but when you find a good one I think it’s worth it, even if it’s a style you could purchase for cheaper. I will also add that I have not been as impressed with Tory Burch staple pieces, but I might have been ordering the wrong styles.

      • cbackson

        I own a fair amount of DVF, of which only one piece is the classic wrap dress. Everything I have of hers is beautifully constructed, made of high-quality fabric, and still looks great years after purchase (in fact, my wrap dress is 15 years old). In the end, it comes down to whether you’re buying for name recognition or buying for quality. For me, it’s the latter.

        • AIMS

          I agree and I actually tend to veer the opposite way – I’ll usually stay away from any easily identifiable things with obvious logos or prints. Not necessarily the case with DvF prints which I like or not based on the actual print involved, but in a more broad, general sense. I feel this way regardless of designer or not though. I just prefer my clothes to look like nice clothes not like “DvF dress” or “Jcrew sweater.”

          • TBK

            Totally agree. I want people to think “she looks amazing!” and not “she’s wearing [designer name].” The designer’s job is to make me look good, not vice versa.

          • Chili

            This 1000+.

            I am not a billboard. I have my own brand. No designer graffiti on me, ever.

        • Anonymous

          Yes! The more expensive it is, the more classic I want it to be so I can wear it more/I want my classics to last forever (buying a black pencil skirt is not exciting enough to do every couple months)

      • Penna

        I do think a designer piece should have something special. To me, that something special is going to ordinarily be the quality of the materials and the overall design and fit – but not something that screams it is a particular designer. I think I generally only prefer something to be identifiable as from a particular designer if it is a particular print or a very particular style – that I happen to love for the print/style itself – that just not cannot be replicated by someone else without being an obvious knockoff.

    • Bonnie

      Not really but then I don’t pay full price for anything and hate logos so would never buy Reva flats. With this dress, it seems to be a good quality item at a great price. $110 is a great investment for a classic navy dress that you may have for years. Even if people can’t tell the brand by looking at an item that you’re wearing, they will likely recognize that it is a well-made garment.

      • Anonymous

        This. In fact, I’d prefer something not be an obvious designer piece. I’d much prefer a well-fitting, beautiful piece that is, frankly, a little unique and shows off my personal style. I find that the more obvious designer pieces (easily recognizable by a lay person as a DVF or whatever) are a little less creative.

      • TCFKAG

        I agree with this – I won’t ever buy designer items just because they are designer items. But if the designer label comes high quality fabrics and good construction and I can get it at a good price – then more the better.

        But I definitely don’t have an internal check list of designer items I “must” own. I just buy things I like.

  3. quick question

    What are the websites for finding a child care provider? I’m in the Chicago area, if that makes a difference. Thank you!

    • mascot

      The state agency that licenses providers should have a list with contact information. It’s a starting point.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Don’t forget your employee assistance program if you or your partner (if applicable) have one. Many federal EAP’s for example maintain an online database w/ child care providers.

    • ac

      if you’re in Chicago, check out npn parents . org (remove spaces) — it’s a great resource, particularly for finding chidcare providers. Good luck.

  4. Jennifer

    Sorry for the immediate TJ–Does anyone have advice about how to request a sedative for an MRI? Do I ask when scheduling, or after I get there, or…? I’m worried that without it, I might not be able to go through with it. Thank you!

    • EC MD

      Definitely tell them while scheduling. They may need to move staff around. and be clear “I’m claustrophobic and need sedation”. Or “the last time I had an MRI I needed IV sedation”. It’s much easier to deal with clear requests than vague statements “I’m nervous about this”

      • NYNY

        Your insurance company may have to authorize the sedation, so definitely request it while scheduling. If you don’t feel comfortable with the response you get from the imaging center, contact the doctor who referred you for the MRI so her office may put in the request.

    • eek

      yes – ask when scheduling and be prepared to ask your doctor. Good luck with your MRI. I had a breast MRI last week – that is a whole ‘nother MRI experience….!

    • Matilda

      If you’re going to be head-first in the machine, ask if there is a mirror. I had to have multiple MRIs on my head a few years ago (yes, it was exactly as awesome as it sounds), and found that the machines with mirrors — right in front of my eyes, angled so I could see my toes — were MUCH easier to tolerate than the ones without. I have no idea why, but for some reason knowing that my toes were free in the world outside the big tube made it much easier to tolerate, as long as I kept myself from worrying about what the MRI might show. I never had sedatives, but I think that even with sedatives I would have wanted a mirror.

      Also, I REALLY regret not asking for copies of the pictures, because that would have been way cool.

    • s in Chicago

      I had to have mutliple MRIs on my head a few years ago. Close your eyes when they are moving you in. It helps, so so much. You lose all track then of spatial awareness. And even though the machine is really loud, I tried to think of it as a time to relax and not have anyone pestering me. I know it sounds weird, but I actually kind of got to appreciate having some time along with my thoughts–kind of like when you are driving. Try to think of it as “me time.” (Maybe that ‘s a sign my life is too chaotic? Good grief….) I also would keep my mind occupied by doing things like envisioning myself walking a route I always take and trying to recall what I would see at each point. Then I would start to think about what a typical day was like for me in college, in X job, as a child–if you can kind of distract yourself with a bunch of mindless stuff like that it makes the time go by really fast. Other mind games–which celebrity do my friends or coworkers look most like, if you pitted people you know in a “Survivor”-like scenario or “Apprentice” like scenario which of the two would win and why, etc. It’s amazing how many weird ways you can keep your thoughts occupied.

    • Island girl

      I get 10 mg valium from my internist before I go and take it about 30 minutes before the M.R.I. It makes a huge difference.

      Also, these days most M.R.I. machines, in my state at least, give you goggles that allow you to watch the t.v. station of your choice (I asked: most popular is ESPN). If it’s a head M.R.I., they will play music of your choice. Of course, you can barely hear either, but it’s a decent distraction.

      Also, I’ve found it very helpful to ask the tech how long each “session” will last, e.g. 3 minutes, or whatever, so you know how long you need to endure. That helps so much.

      I’ve had far too many M.R.I.s — have a genetic joint/ligament disorder, cervical fusion, and migraines. Oh, and you can get an “open” M.R.I. where your head is out if they are not looking at your brain. You have to ask for it.

      Good luck to you.

  5. Ashley

    Love that skirt! I haven’t been to the limited in a while so this will give me a reason to go. :)

  6. January

    I’m having an actively failing at life day today (nothing’s really wrong, per se, but I ran 4 mi. this morning and got to work late, and I have some minor personal drama on my mind, and also my apartment is a huge mess, again) and after I exchanged pleasantries with a secretary this morning, she said, “Oh, you sound a little blue today.” I’m not looking for advice at the moment, just whining. Carry on.

      • Ellen

        Yes, you should congreatuealate yourself. I am walking on my FITBIT ONLEY about half of what you are RUNNEING, so you are doeing GRRRREATE!

        The manageing partner stopped by my desk this morning and gave me a $100 gift certificate to Lord and Taylor’s, for NO reason at all! He said it was a BONUS for winning over the supermarkit guy’s. So far, we just have a SMATERING of their case’s but I think there will be more soon. The manageing partner says this has NO effect on my clotheing allowance, which I have NOT tapped recentely, b/c DAD says I must loose 8 lbs before I buy any more suit’s or skirt’s. FOOEY! I know if I wait and then buy them that I will HAVE to KEEP the wieght off, so mabye dad is thinkeing ahead. That I supose is why he is MENSA and I am NOT.

        I do plan to loose the wieght soon b/c I am planning a week off with MYRNA at the Hamton’s. Myrna and I will have a share that let’s us stay 2 week’s this summer, so we are planing to go in late June for week, then in August. YAY!!!!! I have to look good by then so I told dad that I am NOT buying BOXE’S of muffin’s from CRUMB’s, only singel one’s until I loose the 8 lbs. My dad says I will never get married with my tuchus, but I think he is WRONG. Men are interested in me, not my tuchus, my mom told him, but he is NOT convinced. Mom has a big tuchus and Dad has been married to her for 33 year’s! YAY DAD. So Dad got out smarted by mom, and I will be married to the right guy who should NOT care how big (OR SMALL) my tuchus is. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Cb

      Maybe pop out for a breath of fresh air? Sometimes this helps me hit the reset button on my day.

    • goldribbons

      When you get home tonight, tell yourself that today was a great success. Until then, just keep powering through. It’s amazing how much better I feel when I get home and announce, “I had a very successful day!” (even if that might not be 100% true…)

    • Olivia Pope

      You must be in amazing shape if running 4 miles is a part if your “failing at life” day!

      • January

        Ha, no, my IT band was very angry post-run. I’m just in my head. I’ll try to climb back out.

        • Monday

          Running is one of the only things that consistently works to get me out of my head. I also find it helps moderate the emotional impact of whatever happens in the day that follows. I might even go again this evening if you’re still feeling really weighed down. Then maybe play some upbeat music and clean the apt. to whatever extent will help you relax (but no more!) Hang in there.

        • Kit

          Don’t be modest; you wouldn’t have mentioned the mileage if you didn’t want to impress, right?

          • Anonymous

            I doubt it. Someone seeking to show off should be concerned that someone would reply “4 miles, that’s it? And you were worn out and late for work?” This site has many marathon runners, and everyone just applauds everyone else for making achievements that matter *to them.*

          • January

            Eh, I realize it came across like a humblebrag, but that wasn’t really my intent. Probably should not have tried to get in a workout this AM, anyway… just feeling kind of stressed about a bunch of (little) things right now.

    • Anony

      One of my colleagues (another associate thankfully) found me asleep at my computer this morning….apparently my body demanded more sleep no matter what I was trying to tell it about this being a work day and there being no-where to take a nap.

      So….yeah…this day is going just great.

    • SJ

      I tore a giant hole in the armpit of a silk wrap dress this morning. Right there with you.

  7. Plan B

    Another TJ…does anyone have the Kate Spade Sofia cardigan, and if so, do you hand wash it? Dry clean it?

    Thanks!

    • Z.

      I dry clean mine. At that price point, I’m not willing to risk the washing machine and I don’t have the patience to hand wash anything.

  8. Bed shopping

    Best place to buy a mattress (and box spring)?

    I don’t want to spend a lot but don’t want something super cheap quality either. Budget is about $500 for the set (already picked out the bed separately, on amazon).

    I don’t need it right away so would waiting for Memorial Day sales help at all?

    • Merabella

      I would wait for Memorial Day Sales. I think this is one of the best times to buy a mattress, other than in January (which I think is the big month for white sales/bedding).

      Check out Overstock. I have had a lot of friends who have had great success with them.

    • mascot

      Is there an Original Mattress Factory in your city? Their sets are well-priced and hold up well.

    • Anonymous

      also, I’ve heard that you should wait till the end of the month (sales quotas or something).

      I had success in talking down a $1300 mattress/boxspring set to $425 for the mattress only (i had a platform bed frame in mind) by popping into a mattress store in the tristate area and just feeling out the price (refundable $75 deposit, balance paid on delivery)… then walked 2 more blocks and the guy refused to go below $800 for th same mattress …

      TL;DR–negotiate until you get the price you want for the mattress you want.

    • Associette

      Wherever you go, be sure to negotiate! As bad as it is, buying a mattress is like buying a car. I just learned this from someone else recently and seriously negotiated the price of my S&F mattress. We actually went to two stores and had them bidding against each other. Good luck!

      • Anonymous

        I bought the top of the line Original Mattress Company set and it has not held up well … my beat mattress purchase was from Sears.

      • Bed Shopping

        Okay, thanks guys! It seems like the consensus is to wait until the holiday weekend. Question about negotiating….what kind of places is this acceptable at? Obviously not Cosco, as mentioned above (which btw, I’m definitely going to check out anyways), but otherwise, only at little mom and pop shops? I’m a bit wary to buy from a small store.

        Plus, random other question – how do you actually pick one out? I know it’s hard to compare across the board because the stores all have their different names for the same mattresses, so how do you know what’s actually good? I’ll definitely try to lie down on them, but laying there for 5 minutes is obviously not that good of an indicator as to the quality, etc.

  9. Jo March

    Etiquette TJ: I am on the board of a local non-profit (essentially equivalent to Planned Parenthood in the services it provides). We are having a fundraising event in a couple of weeks. Each Board member is supposed to (try to) sell 10 tickets.

    I would like to invite some of the fabulous women who are in senior management at my workplace. I have good, if mostly shallow, relationships with all of these women and I have no concerns that the politics of the organization are a problem. But I’m wondering what the best way to approach them is. I’m hesitant to just send an email because they probably get at least 50 emails a day, and it could easily jsut get lost. On the other hand, approaching them in person is potentially awkward for them, as it’s kind of putting them on the spot. (If it matters, tickets are only $25, so it’s not like I’m asking them to spend a boatload of money to do this).

    Advice?

    • LeChouette

      must my two cents but I say email (or if email is really bad a paper invitation)…if you bring it up in person they will feel like they have to respond and it is awkward for them.

    • Anonymous

      I think an email is the best way to go about it. The other option is to mention it in passing if you’re ever in a group together – but I do agree approaching each person individually is too awkward/pressuring. If you have a message board in any of the common areas, you could also put a note there (but that’s visible to everyone then and maybe you don’t want everyone knowing).

      • Jo March

        I don’t have a problem with everyone knowing, but there are over 100 lawyers in my office and we take up 3.5 floors, so the chances of these particular women seeing a poster and paying attention to it that way are pretty small, unfortunately.

    • Godzilla

      I would ask in person. I would be annoyed with someone hitting me up for money via email. Just be direct and ask. If they’re in senior management, they’ll have no problems saying no. Something short and to the point – “I’m on the Board of Superawesome Organization and I’m selling tickets to our fundraising event. If you’re interested in attending, I’ll send you an email with more details.” Done.

      • Hel-lo

        I also agree that in-person is fine.

        If you’re in a position of power/leadership, being “put on the spot” isn’t really a concern. You have to make tough decisions all the time with a few minutes notice.

        When I clerked for a trial court judge, I went around to all the judges selling tickets for an event for a nonprofit I was interested in. I remember the Presiding Judge being very kind, and saying that she would love to go, but that she had some other event that same night. And then she made a donation.

        Don’t be scared of these women. You’ll be one of them one day, and wouldn’t you want some bright-eyed associate to invite you to something cool?

    • Associette

      I am also on a non-profit board. My method is to put a paper invitation on each person’s chair that I would like to attend the event. I add a sticky note and write a message inviting them to join me. I then follow up in person. This generally works pretty well for me!

    • Fellow board member

      I have been on several boards and I have found that invitations are more likely to be accepted if you are the one paying for the tickets – if it is not cost prohibitive. About half of the members on my current board just buy the number of tickets (usually a full table) we are asked to sell for an event, then invite co-workers and friends to attend as their guests.

  10. Jr Associate

    So one of my closest friends at work is a legal assistant, and before yesterday morning, we got along really well. Yesterday, I asked her to do a task that would take 10 minutes (for her boss – he asked me to get it done). She pushed back and has been giving me attitude since and is now ignoring me completely.

    I honestly don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to be friendly – I work on a lot of her boss’ files so I need her to continue doing the admin side of things on those files. I’m completely caught off guard my her reaction because it was such a minor task and I asked nicely. To be perfectly honest, I’m also kinda upset by this because we were pretty good friends.

    Any advice ladies?

    • Godzilla

      It sounds like to me that she thought you were friends and not coworkers, just like you did. You are not friends. You are coworkers. Do you have the authority to assign work to her? If you do, then you need to manage the situation so that she understands that she has to do the work you assign her.

      It also sounds like you need to readjust how you handle workplace interactions. Yes, you can make friends but you have to establish the professional boundaries first. You should be upset from a professional standpoint, not emotional.

      Do not be friendly, be professional. If you need to speak to her direct supervisor, so be it.

    • Merabella

      If her boss asked you to get it done, then why didn’t you do it? Was this something that you should have delegated, or was it something that you were supposed to do? If she has a lot on her plate, and you were given the work to do yourself, but pawned it off on her, I would be mad too.

      I agree with Godzilla in that you two aren’t friends, or you aren’t only friends, you are also co-workers and you need to work on your boundaries with regards to work.

      • anon

        I would be miffed too if she handled this so dramatically. I’d find out if this is the kind of admin work that is routinely delegated, or if she takes on work from people other than her boss. But even so, she should have spoken openly with you about how things work rather than lashing out in an immature way. Sounds like a bummer. Hope things look up.

        • anon

          P.S. I think it’s kind of sad people immediately responded with, “You aren’t friends, you’re co-workers.” It’s important to have friends at work. Of course, it won’t be the same as a friend who doesn’t work with you, but I think you should expect extra courtesy from someone you build up great rapport with. I get why you are hurt.

          • Godzilla

            While I’m inclined to agree with you, a professional needs to establish working rapport at work. Sometimes, depending on the other person, friendship gets in the way. There is a difference between being friendly and being friends.

          • ABC

            My closest friend from my first law firm was (and is to this day) my assistant…. We regularly went to lunch, I went to her wedding and baby shower, all normal friend things. Now that I no longer work there, we hang out even more.

            We were always professional at work, and I obviously asked to her handle administrative things for me, but we truly were (and continue to be) friends. I don’t think it is that impossible to assume that co-workers cannot be true friends.

          • King Kong

            Maybe sad, but friendliness in office can undermine authority. King Kong seen it happen many, many, many times.

      • AnonInfinity

        I can’t speak for OP, but when partners at my office tell me to get something done, that just means they want it done however that needs to happen. For example, if a partner tells me to file an answer, I draft the answer and make sure the legal parts are right, then I ask my or his assistant to format it, prepare the letters, fax/mail/hand deliver it to the appropriate people.

    • Jr Associate

      I did do the substantive portion obviously – I drafted the documents. But the routine admin stuff i.e. compiling/copying/binding/couriering is supposed to be delegated. When her boss told me to get it done, he didn’t intend that I should waste my time with the admin stuff when he specifically pays someone to do that.

      And since I don’t have my own assistant, I’ve been told I can get the partner’s assistant to do whatever needs to be done for that partner’s files. It’s never been a problem.

      Maybe we can’t be friends because we need to maintain professional boundaries. And I’ll certainly be more careful with this in the future. But I guess Anon is right – I expected her to treat me better because I thought we were friends. I guess I just need to keep doing my job and stay professional

      • Godzilla

        It sucks that she treated you this way and your subtle attempts to repair your friendship and professional relationship hasn’t worked. Have you tried asking her outright? “Friend, I’m concerned about what happened the other day. I asked you to file Important Document for your boss and you reacted in a manner that surprised me. What’s going on?” Hear her out, clear the air and be more careful with her in the future.

    • AnonInfinity

      I’ve had this happen to me, but without the added layer of friendship. I just continued being polite to the assistant and asking her to help me when I needed it. I also wouldn’t kill her with kindness each time, I’d just say, “I’m helping Partner get a filing out, and My Assistant is swamped. Please help me get a letter together and sent out.” She eventually came around and isn’t rude to me anymore.

      I do think it complicates things when you have a friend-type relationship with someone. It might sound mean, but that’s why I try not to have those types of relationships with assistants. It’s a lot easier to avoid hurt feelings that way. I’m friendly but not friends.

    • Em

      In my experience, this happens a lot with junior associates and law firm admins, particularly female junior associates. (And particularly older admins, though I don’t know if that’s the case here.) And I think the friendship just exacerbates the dynamic. But a lot of people do, in fact, resent taking orders from young women who have a degree but no experience. It’s sexist, but it’s the case. And then, the other half of that is that it can be a very effective work avoidance strategy because an awful lot of young women associates aren’t going to push back when their secretary refuses to do something.

      I don’t have a solution, except that, by refusing to help you on this and then giving you the silent treatment, she’s treating you like a co-worker she’s manipulating, not like a friend. And you should address this as you would a co-worker who’s manipulating you; the friendship implications are hurtful, but not necessarily relevant to the work part at this point, which should be addressed.

      • Frugal doc..

        +1

        I’ve had similar problems working with some female hospital support staff and even some female nurses during my early years in medicine. Interestingly, never with the male support staff. There are definitely complex undertones in relationships among women in the workplace and headgames. I find it challenging, and honestly sometimes I am relieved most of my colleagues are men.

        However, when problems/crises arise and mistakes happen (yes, mistakes happen all the time in the hospital….) I react swiftly and firmly and try to correct and work on preventing a repeat incident. This can at times get you labeled as an aggressive b*itch by some male colleagues. Clearly sexist, as a male colleague reacting the same way would never be called….. as we know, there is no comparable term for men showing strong leadership skills.

  11. Equity's Darling

    This morning I received a comment regarding my office shoe collection….how many pairs of shoes do you have in your office right now? And how many is reasonable to have in your office?

    I have 14. That seems like an acceptable number, and they are all the heels I own because I only really wear heels at the office ( if I need a pair for a Saturday night, I bring home one pair…but usually I wear flats). I guess it’s 16 if you count my flip flops and running shoes…it still sounds like a fine number of shoes though.

    • Anonymous

      I only keep 2-3 or so pairs at work (rain/snow boots, my favorite pumps, sometimes something else gets carried in and left). But yesterday I witnessed one of my coworkers pull a huge shopping bag full of shoes out of her cabinet. She had to have at least 10 in there! I just wish I had enough shoes to do that.

    • Diana Barry

      I used to keep around 10 pairs at work. When I went out for my last maternity leave I got rid of a bunch of them ahead of time because I needed the room to store, you know, actual files. :)

      Now I only have 2 pairs – purple ballet flats and black low wedges.

    • Nancy P

      I have two pairs of heels, plus a pair of flip flops for when I need a pedicure. I work near a woman partner, though, who I remember exclaiming when she moved into her office “it’s so great, I have shelves for my shoes!” I think she has around 8 pairs in there, or at least 8 that I can see on the shelves behind her desk.

    • Godzilla

      I have 5 pairs. Black leather heels, maroon suede pumps, cranberry leather flats, sneakerish flats and steel-toed boots. I never know which pair I’ll need. Mine are all hanging out under my desk. My coworkers have commented that I have a lot but then again, they don’t wear heels.

    • Eleanor

      I keep two pairs of shoes at the office. However, I also keep all my blazers and suit jackets (six total) here, hung in the general use coat closet in the hall outside my office. I am usually the only person who uses this closet.

    • Anonymous

      I have 2 black heels, grey wedges, grey heels, and nude heels. I commute in black flats. 14 def does seem like a lot, but I should mention I am in government, and my agency is not very fashion forward at all. Everyone looks proffesional but not flashy. I could see myself having more if I worked someplace else

      • Blair Waldorf

        Hmm I have 10 pairs. And a full suit, two sweaters, and a suit jacket. It’s all in a closet so I don’t think anyone can see how many I have. I wouldn’t keep that many out in plain view, but I like having options and never wear work heels on weekends.

    • Anon

      I used to keep 2 pairs under my station in the judge’s chamber library when I was an intern (not in a drawer/box/shelf, just by the computer cables… it seemed ok at the time.

      Now i have about 4-6 pairs of pumps/flats

    • Kanye East

      I have one backup pair in the office. I don’t think I own 14 pairs of shoes total, unless all my different ski boots count.

    • TO Lawyer

      So I just got up to check – I have 6 pairs of shoes at work (and yet I wear the same pair every day). And also in the closet, a full suit (with a blouse) and my court clothes. And occasionally my drycleaning if I’ve picked it up and haven’t had a chance to take it home yet.

      I feel like this gives me justification to go buy new shoes…

    • lucy stone

      Currently only two, my snow boots (yay Wisconsin!)) and a pair of black heels. In the summer it gets higher because I wear flip flops in most days.

    • AEK

      I have black, navy, nude, and red heels, along with two pairs of comfy flats/loafers that would up here after I wore heels home and threw off the rotation.

      This also reminds me that, no matter who I’d *like* to be, I am not a red-shoe person, and I should just give them away already. I can’t wear them without feeling like I’m screaming “EVERYONE LOOK AT MY RED SHOES!!!!”

      • Famouscait

        This is me with black knee high boots. I feel like I walked right out of “Pretty Woman” (even though her’s were over the knee…). I think they look great on other people and not at all stripper-ish, but I just can’t do it.

    • TCFKAG

      I have two pairs of heels I leave at the office (one brown, one pewter). If I need any of my other heels for some reason, I bring them in.

    • Cat

      I’m on Team Equity’s Darling. I have (also in a drawer) for heels: two pairs black, one dark brown, one brown w/ stacked heel, one tan, one nude, one red, and flats: brown, nude, black pointy toe and black round toe (total 11). Sometimes the flats come home to “visit” for the weekend. I’m a walking commuter and realized I was wasting so much space and weight carrying them back and forth, since my work shoes are definitely not “fun dinner out” shoes.

      Plus all but one of my suit jackets are hanging from the back of my door.

      • Equity's Darling

        AH, maybe that is the key! I’m also a walking commuter, and the shoes just take up WAY too much space in my precious bag space, which usually involves gym clothes and a lunch. If I was car commuter, I bet I’d leave the shoes at home, or in my car, since I don’t like driving in heels.

        • goldribbons

          Yes – commuting with an overnight bag is not ideal. But when we work 10+ hour days, that means bringing lunch and a snack, as well as gym clothes, so office shoes (and hand lotion, which I’ve noticed car-drivers keep in their handbags) stay at the office.

    • Matilda

      Eight pairs, counting the ones on my feet and the ones I wore in this morning. Basically, all of my remotely work-appropriate shoes live at the office, along with most of the blazers that go with the suits that are in regular circulation. I don’t have a closet and need to do a better job of stashing everything, though — most of the shoes are either in a box on my bookshelves or tucked onto a shelf under my desk, but I just found two pairs hiding under some files. Oops.

    • NOLA

      I own about 80 pairs of shoes and boots. None of them are in my office. But I have no need to commute in different shoes. And I prefer to match shoes with my outfit in the mirror in the morning. But that’s just me.

      • JessC

        Same. I own about 30ish pairs of shoes, but the only pair you’ll find in my office are the ones I showed up to work in that morning. I drive to work and don’t have any sort of walking commute.

      • Senior Attorney

        Nope, not just you. Me, too! Exactly. Except my number is closer to 100 pair!

    • Anonymous

      It never ever occurred to me to leave shoes at work until I read comments from people here. Since then, I have kept one pair of sort-of-not-ugly comfortable shoes that I can put on with just about anything to walk to lunch or put on if my feet start to hurt. I commute by car; perhaps that is the difference? Or maybe I’ve just never taken real ownership of my office.

      • Anonymous

        Oh the car makes all the difference. I don’t even have that far of a walk, but the .4 mile walk to the metro, then the metro stairs, then standing on the metro for 20 min, then a .4 mile walk to the office means I commute in flats.

        • Anonymous

          Same! I don’t know how/why women walk around cities in heels, and after reading about one woman who broke her ankle doing that, I’m so glad I refuse to do so.

      • MaggieLizer

        I agree that the issue is whether you have to commute in different shoes. If I needed commuting shoes I probably would leave almost my entire work shoe collection at the office to avoid the hassle of carrying them back and forth with me, and inevitably losing, dropping, damaging, etc. the shoes in the process. I think you’re not actually supposed to drive in heels for various reasons that I’m not 100% clear on, but I do anyway; I keep gym shoes, flats, and black pumps for court in my office.

        • Lady Harriet

          I never drive in heels because they mess with the angle of my foot on the pedal. Also, I’ve seen women where the back of their right heel is really worn but the left looks fine, which I assume is for driving. I just take off my right shoe when I get in the car and drive barefoot. When I lived in WI, where that’s illegal, I kept an old pair of flats in the car to change into for driving. I don’t like to drive in sandals, either, because I’m concerned about my shoe getting stuck on the pedal.

    • Cali CPA

      I currently have 8 pairs, including the flats I wear to walk to lunch most days (plus I suppose a ninth pair that I received in the mail a few days ago that I haven’t decided if I’m keeping). Other than the flats they’re only here because I have run out of room to store shoes at home! The number and which shoes rotates weekly since I often wear one pair of shoes to work and a different pair home. I keep them under my desk and as far as I know only one person has noticed (and he was sitting at my desk for an extended period of time).

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      I had to count and, including the two pairs I picked up today that I had ordered, two pairs of flats and two pairs I need to take to be reheeled, I appear to have 24 pairs.

      They are in archive boxes under my desk. I have maybe another 10 pairs at home, but I haven’t counted. Maybe I should have a shoe cull…

    • Anon

      I have at least 11 and usually more like 15 pairs of shoes at work–essentially all my work shoes live there. I live in NYC and there is a lot of hoofing to get to work (1 mile or so?), usually in the company of my kids, plus a lot of things to carry to and from. It would be impossible for me to do that in my work shoes (for comfort and speed reasons), my shoes would be destroyed in about a week, and my bag and back could not take schlepping one more thing to and from. In all my years of work I have always had a large dedicated drawer for shoes for this exact reason. I also have a whole category of shoes that are commuting shoes, including open-toed crocs for warm rainy days like today (as opposed to full on rain boots).

      The differences in what people do seems driven by how you get to work.

    • CKB

      I have 4 pair – all basics, but one pair I rarely wear. I keep my fun shoes at home in case I need them on the weekend, but the ones I have at work are only worn at work.

      My (male) co-worker and my (male) oldest child think it’s really strange to have extra shoes at the office. But, I walk 1km to the train, and then a few blocks from the train to my office and being in Canada, for 5-6 months of the year I might have snow to deal with. Makes perfect sense to me!

      In our new office building I no longer have a closet cabinet in my office, so they are all currently living under my desk, but I’m thinking about getting a box or something to keep them in.

    • Bonnie

      I have 15 pairs in a drawer. Since I commute to work in flats, I keep all of my work heels at the office.

    • SJ

      Why am I just now realizing I could keep all my work shoes in my office? Seriously, y’all are my internet life coaches.

    • Cornellian

      Two pairs of work shoes, and running shoes. Plus commute shoes/flip flops if I wore them in that day, and today rain boots.

      That is sort of a lot of shoes. But if they’re hidden, who cares?

    • Hel-lo

      I probably have 8-10 pairs, including the moccasin-style slippers I put on under my desk each morning to wear around the office, and the flip-flops I optimistically brought in my purse today.

  12. DV

    Hi all, I was hoping you guys could help me out with something. I was recently approached by a friend who is a founder at a start-up about doing some legal consulting work for them. I have a full-time position at an in-house and plan on disclosing the work, which shouldn’t be an issue, but was wondering if anyone has any ideas as to how to put this agreement in writing. I was thinking some sort of casual engagement and retainer letter, but am having a problem figuring out whether a flat fee per project or billing per hour makes sense. Most of the work will be looking at materials to prevent infringement and some simple contracts. Any ideas as to what might be a fair rate?

  13. Jules

    Shopping Q: My brother’s one-year anniversary with his girlfriend is coming up and he wants to buy her a necklace. He asked for my advice, but it’s been a loooong time since I was on the dating market, or in the market for jewelry. Only parameters he could give me is that he wants something “simple,” that his gf does not like “expensive jewelry like from Tiffany’s” (which I could interpret in different ways – you could like “real” jewelry but not like the overpriced silver from Tiffany’s), and that she generally likes things from Anthropologie and Lord and Taylor. He’s a guy – I realize this is not much help. He didn’t give me a price point exactly but I would say something reasonably priced. Any ideas? Suggestions on what an appropriate amount to spend would be? I was thinking either a trendier piece of fine jewelry a la Nordstrom’s selection, or perhaps something simple like a small diamond pendant necklace. My husband works in the jewelry business and could get something like that a lot cheaper than retail. What would be appropriate for a one year dating anniversary? Btw, my brother is 23.

  14. Matilda

    So I got home last night after billing a 16-hour day to find that the Boden summer catalog had arrived…and now I want ALL THE DRESSES. And also a beach to twirl around on while wearing all the dresses. And maybe a summer fling so I can go on dates in all the dresses.

    Must. be. disciplined. ugh.

    • Annonfoo

      I hear you ! I felt the same after going through Athleta and White House Black Market catalogs wishing I had the kind of life (vacations + summer fling) to wear those clothes after coming back from work at 11 pm.

      • Matilda

        I’m so glad I’m not the only one that does this! Mine are Athleta, Patagonia, and Boden. Oh, and Pottery Barn, except that mostly I just want to live in the Pottery Barn catalog. No extra imagination required.

        (I most definitely do not live in the Pottery Barn catalog. I have two dogs and a cat, and I’m pretty sure they’d destroy a Pottery Barn living room in thirty-nine seconds flat.)

    • Anonymous

      I <3 that you want all the dresses and created a life to go with! Seriously, my problem is that I buy all the pretty dresses and have nowhere to wear them.

      • Matilda

        Hee. I am very good at creating lives from catalogs. It’s sort of a hobby.

        I keep having to remind myself that I also have nowhere to wear the pretty dresses, and that I should just save my money for more practical purchases. (Or at least similarly impractical ones that I’ll actually use.)

        But. so. hard. I really want all the dresses.

  15. Samantha

    Some advice please?
    So I got my first EVER speeding ticket a couple weeks ago. Been driving for over 10 years, and I never even got pulled over before, but no warnings, he just gave me the ticket. It was for a 40 speed limit zone and he had me going 55. (I think I was probably over 40 – clear multi-lane road, no traffic, good weather, about to get on the highway – but not as much as he said).
    I have an important deadline the day I’m scheduled to go to court so can’t make it. What should I do? Go early? Contest the ticket or not? Just pay up? Plead not guilty by mail as a popular website advises? I know I want to do traffic school & dismiss it, but totally clueless about the rest. Thanks.

    • Anonymous

      Depends on your state. In my state, for a few bucks you can have an attorney get it reduced to a non-moving violation. There will be a fine for the non-moving violation but it’s what everyone opts for because it’s better in the long run.

    • Susie

      I’d just pay the ticket and get it over with, not worth my time to try to contest unless they have you for reckless driving (my state I think 20 mph over speed limit) and you think it’s just speeding. Then for insurance purposes you can do the traffic school (in my state we can do this online now), but one in over 10 years is not bad at all!

    • Anon

      Without knowing the particulars of your jurisdiction, you should be able to get a continuance on the first hearing and have it reset for another day. Then when you have your hearing, since it is your first ticket, you will likely be given the option of driving school or even a conditional discharge where if you don’t get another ticket for 90 days (or whatever the judge says) then it will be dismissed. When I have gone in the past, I did not even see the Judge. The County or City attorney negotiated with me and that was it.

    • Anonymous

      Find an attorney friend in your state to write a letter to the court asking for a recommendation. I have gotten it changed from a moving to non-moving violation every single time.

    • Hel-lo

      It really depends on your state.

      In my state, if you want a continuance, you can just go down to the courthouse and ask, and they’ll give it to you.

      It might be worth calling the traffic court and asking.

    • Lola

      You can plead not guilty and they’ll usually (at least in upstate NY – site of most of my/my friends’ tickets) offer you a plea at a lesser violation. At that point I’d pay.

    • OP

      Thanks. I am in the Bay Area. How do I find an attorney to write a letter to change it to a non-moving violation? Just any attorney off the yellow pages who specializes in traffic stuff? Would the fee to the attorney not be more than the ticket value?

      • Matilda

        I handle traffic tickets sometimes (not your jurisdiction, I’m afraid), and generally my fee is lower than the fine — and, more importantly, lower than the heightened insurance premiums that people would pay if they have a moving violation on their records. In my jurisdiction it generally just involves verification of the driving record and a quick trip to the courthouse, but it may be different where you are. If you know any lawyers, you might ask them if their firm has anyone who handles these things — otherwise, I suppose the yellow pages are as good a way to go as anything.

  16. thank you note?

    I just saw a blog posting on a website advising job-seekers on what they should and shouldn’t put in a thank you note following a job interview. And, I was like, you have to send a thank you note after a job interview?!? If this is the protocol, I never got that memo. And, I have interviewed for a lot of jobs. Have I been doing it wrong the whole time???

    I just interviewed for a job about two weeks ago. Do I need to send a thank you? Is it too late? Do I need to send a handwritten note to each person who interviewed me (that’s four people… and I’m not sure I remember their names!).

    Okay, did I totally screw this up here? (BTW, I was not crazy about that firm that I interviewed with, so you won’t break my heart if you tell me I made a major faux pas.)

    • Anonymous

      I always send a thank you note within 24 hours, even when I know I would not accept an offer from the company. Going forward, ask for a business card from each person you interview with so you have their contact info.

    • Joanie

      I always send a thank you note right after the interview. I think two weeks might be a bit too late though.

      Although, now that I do a fair number of interviews (as the interviewer), I can honestly say that a thank you note is a nice gesture and I appreciate it, but it does not really influence my decision. Also, the decision is usually made before any thank you notes arrive.

    • Sandra

      Thank-you notes were once fairly standard; they are less so, now. Emails are more common in many industies. They should be sent day-of or next day, otherwsie not at all. You will usually not be dinged for not sending one.

      However, the fact that you are totally unaware of the concept does not speak highly of your preparation for the adult job market, and if you have missed this entire phenomenon, you should very quickly look into what else you might be missing when it comes to the job application and interview process.

      • Anonymous

        Perhaps a little harsh, but I agree with Sandra to refresh these kinds of expectations. There is debate over thank-you’s as a requirement now, but seems odd that it caught you this off-guard.

      • Blonde Lawyer

        I think it depends on the industry. If she is in an industry where this is not common than I don’t think she is ill-prepared for the real world.

        • AFT

          Agreed. I worked full time in the insurance industry before I went to law school, interviewed plenty of people for customer service, administrative, and sales positions, and I don’t think I ever once received a thank you note after an interview. I was pretty surprised when I got to law school and career services was all, OMG YOU MUST SEND THANK YOU NOTES OR YOU ARE THE RUDIEST RUDESTER THAT’S EVER RUDED!

      • Anonymous

        Have to agree with Sandra, sorry to echo the harshness but if sending a thank-you note post-interview is a foreign concept then you’ve been living under a rock. I can’t imagine an industry where this is unheard of…

      • Anonymous

        I def expect a thank you email and do dnig (just slightly) if I dont get one. Also agree that its odd you have never heard of it. We talk about it on this site alone at least once every 2 weeks or so

    • TCFKAG

      So, generally, yes – I think a lot of job seekers send thank-you e-mails to people they interview with after an interview (Thank you for taking the time to speak with me, here is some comment on something we talked about, here’s another reason I’d be an asset to your organization, yada yada yada). Its becoming, I think, increasingly the norm – but it isn’t universal. There have been many threads on here about paper letters vs. e-mails and the general (but not universal) consensus is to use e-mail because paper notes won’t get there before most interviewers have submitted their thoughts about you to HR or made their final decision.

      Honestly, I think two weeks later is too late for what would be styled a “thank you” e-mail. But two weeks is in the realm of normal for a “checking in” e-mail – sent only to the deciding person I think – reiterating your interest in the position and checking in on the status of their hiring process. But I don’t think you’ve totally screwed yourself with no thank-you note, some people don’t do it and some people do and then make errors in the note…so don’t worry about it too much. If they want you they won’t let the lack of thank you note keep them from hiring you (but maybe read up on the phenomena for future interviews).

    • Anonymous

      FWIW, may interview candidates semnd me thank you notes (Im in Biglaw). I read them quickly and then throw them away/delete them. Unless of course there are mistakes in them — which there are, in at least 50% of them — in which case i totally ding the person and often take them out of the running. other people i work with do the same thing.

      on the other hand, i never, ever think twice about not having received a thank you. i fact, except for those mistakes, i could never tell you from whom i received a note and from whom i did not.

      moral of story: dont send thank you notes.

      • Anonymous

        Actually the moral of the story is send perfect thank you notes- plenty of people ding for not getting them

        • Anonymous

          its my story and apparently you didnt read it — the perfect ones go in the garbage can, thus all it can do is hurt you.

          • Anonymous

            but other people ding for not sending them. So she should send a perfect one, unless she knows she is applying to you.

      • TBK

        Actually, thank you notes are a great opportunity if used properly. First, yes, they must be PERFECT, just like everything else you send to a potential employer. Second, though, this is the chance to highlight something you like about the job that you weren’t aware of before you interviewed, and to connect with your interviewer as a person.

        • Lady Harriet

          My aunt once sent a thank-you note to a job that turned her down. The person who was hired didn’t work out within a matter of weeks, and they hired my aunt instead. She ended up working there for decades! Situations like that may not happen often, but I always send thank-you notes because of it. Unfortunately, my problem seems to be getting to the interview in the first place, so it’s not something that comes up too often…

    • TBK

      +1 to what everyone here said. Also, yes, you send one to everyone who interviewed you. I’m definitely in the paper card camp (I usually have the cards all addressed and stamped before the interview, bring the box in my bag, then go to a coffee shop after the interview to write the cards and mail them immediately). As for names: (1) it’s always a good idea to ask ahead of time for the names of your interviewers — you want to Google them/look them up on LinkedIn, and see if anyone you know knows them before you go to the interview; (2) if you don’t get the names ahead of time, either ask for cards at the time, or reach out to your contact (whoever called you for the interview or his/her assistant) to ask.

  17. Hel-lo

    I just need to vent: My office is super-hot. It faces west and the sun streams in in the afternoon.

    Also, my husband insists on keeping our house freezing. So I go from burning up to freezing in the evening.

    Grr.

    That is all.

    • SoCalAtty

      I had an office that was like that a few years ago. I invested in a super quiet fan for the window, and it helped a TON!

  18. Clearly Speaking

    Great skirt. Saw something similar on someone here last week. I thought it was just the right combination of feminine and individualistic. Something about it said confident and not a corporate clone. Very cool.

  19. Leslie's Closet

    I looooooooooove this skirt. I’m a huge fan of full skirts – it’s such a feminine silhouette and I think that for business casual offices, it’s completely suitable. I recently purchased a full skirt from eshakti and they have quite a few really cute ones. I got a solid turquoise one, but there’s a black and white horizontal stripe one that I love (BR has a very similar one too).

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