ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 155 Comments

Weekend Open Thread

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

woman wears black mockneck cashmere sweater with beigey stripes

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

I'm always a fan of stripey sweaters, and this 100% cashmere option from Nordstrom's house brand looks fabulous.

The sweater is available in four colorways, in sizes XXS-XXL, and has a TON of nice reviews calling it classic, soft, and beautiful.

(Other striped options: this cotton/cashmere option from Alex Mill, this striped cashmere/wool option from Caslon, and this merino cardigan from Lilysilk, down to lucky sizes at Nordstrom. A more affordable option: this 100% cotton cardigan from Mango.

Sales of note for 3/26/25:

  • Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

155 Comments

  1. Update from this morning: Just got home from IUD insertion, was offered lidocaine (which I said yes to), which seems to have made a difference–everything except the actual insertion was barely noticable, although the actual insertion itself was still ~5 seconds of 8/10 pain. Overall it was a breeze, and I now have a card saying it’s good to go until 2036, which is definitely worth it for me!

  2. I’m taking a trip to Tokyo with my husband and toddler. We have all the big stuff booked but would love to hear any recommendations for food, toddler activities, easy day trips, fun neighborhoods to walk around, shopping, etc. We know this will be a slower trip than our pre-kid travels, and that the time zone change will be hard, and are prepared to go with the flow (we’ve both been to Japan before so we’ve checked the major tourist boxes). Kiddo is actually relatively chill and happy cruising along in a stroller as long as she has interesting things to look at (big kids, lights, balloons, colorful objects; she loved our trip to NYC). Staying in Shibuya, Shinjuku, and Ueno for a total of 11 days.

    1. If you didn’t eat 7-11 sushi or hardboiled eggs on a previous trip – please do! Bonus – it’s toddler friendly.

    2. I go to Tokyo multiple times a year for work.
      Nakameguro for more chill shopping–lots of trendy boutiques.
      Please have some mont blanc (a chestnut dessert)! Lean into all the seasonal fall foods: persimmon, gingko nuts, matsutake, roasted sweet potatoes.
      Enoura observatory is beautiful and can be done in a day. Kamakura (beaches, artsy cafes) is another day trip option.

    3. If you haven’t been, your toddler would probably like the Art Aquarium Museum, just north of Ginza in Kyobashi, Goldfish displayed in artistic tanks (all seem very clean and safe), many colored lights, etc. It’s in the Mitsukoshi department store. You can buy tickets in advance. It’s not huge, so probably a nice way to spend an hour, especially on a rainy day.

    4. The Tsukiji Fish market is a lot of fun (go in the morning) and the sushi at the outdoor side vendors remains the best I’ve ever had.

  3. A couple of months ago, I met a guy IRL at an event (and I’m in my forties; this never happens!). We exchanged contact info and got coffee. It was unclear to me if it was a date or just a friendly thing, but I thought I was sensing a vibe. Then after the coffee he suggested getting wine at a place that had wine from a region of France I was going to be visiting that I’d told him about. He had been there recently and shared some good recs over text. I was excited—sounded like a date to me.

    But the day of the date, he texted to cancel because he’d gotten into a bike accident. He was okay but said he’d need a rain check on the date. I of course said no problem, hoped he felt better soon, and told him to reach out whenever he was feeling up to rescheduling… but he never did!

    Anyway, it’s on my mind because I just got back from the France trip and I used some of his recommendations. Would it be weird to reach out and thank him, or should I just drop it?

    1. Not weird to reach out again, thank him and say you hope he’s recovered. If he doesn’t respond or doesn’t reschedule the date, don’t reach out again.

      3. I land here (with a cautionary dose of he may just not be that into you). I feel like why land on ONE NUDGE is that some guys are just dumb once the momentum has been lost. If they don’t pick up the ball once you have tried to in-ball it after a stall, then there is your answer. But a nudge sometimes dislodges what I call the stupid factor that makes things that stall out that shouldn’t. It’s like if there is a sign, they respond and get going; but they may be looking for a sign after they may think they messed up. So, this is like a Victorian woman dropping her hankie. It may hit the ground. But if not, it’s giving someone grace and cover to pick it up and pursue.

        2. OP – do you want a guy who has a stupid-factor that you have to help him overcome? Or do you want a man who knows what/who he wants and confidently pursues it without your help?

          1. OP probably wants someone who has human frailties just like she does, and who isn’t going to make outrageous judgements about someone they don’t yet know.

          2. but she “just got back” from her trip that he knew she was going on – i don’t think it’s impossible that he was giving her a grace period after her trip (and possibly after his bike accident too).

          3. Surely sometimes it’s a green flag when a man is taking care not to come across as stalkery or scary, even if they don’t 100% grasp where the line is? It seems to beat not knowing and not caring, anyway!

          4. I’ve been married to a man for 25 years who had to be pushed by a mutual friend to ask me out. After his accident, he may have felt silly following up with her again and may be thrilled to hear from her. And if not, zero loss.

          5. Relationships take two – it’s okay to meet someone where they are. My husband of 10 years needed a nudge in the beginning, but has been confidently pursuing and winning my heart ever since.

      4. I agree. No harm in reaching out. FWIW, my now husband and I met IRL and exchanged numbers, but I kind of brushed him off after he initially texted me bc I had other life stuff going on. He reached out to me again three months Iater, and the rest is history. I get that the roles are kind of reversed here, and there is definitely some truth to interested guys pursue, but you never know and I think it’s fine to give it one more try.

    2. Interested men pursue, disinterested men do not. You want somebody who’s crazy about you, not somebody who doesn’t reschedule!

      1. Yea don’t reach out. There’s no point. Those good recommendations are the best thing that will come from him. Save yourself the trouble.

      2. This rule seems to select for men who are leaning aggressive, confident enough to not wait for encouraging signals from the woman, and for men who are impulsive enough to fall for someone after a single coffee date. If that’s what you want, go for it, but that’s not the right guy for everyone. Be careful what your dating rules select for.

        1. This. And one nudge isn’t going to create some situation where you’re wondering about his affection.

      3. + a million. If you were “it” for him he would have followed up. Men are hunters.He made an excuse to not meet you and he is mot that into you. Move on.

        1. Did the girls who wrote the rules come out to play today? That was true before me too and all the modern consent movements that make it socially dangerous to pursue women. The game has changed.

    3. It would not be weird, but it would be a waste of your time and energy if it is done with a hope that he will become interested in you. He has demonstrated that he is not.

        1. Ok, just went back to read this one. Y’all. Lawyers (and basically anyone else who holds a license) are not supposed to date their clients. Even if it isn’t expressly prohibited by the rules, you create the potential to mess up a business relationship. Even the OP realized this!!!

    5. Don’t bother reaching out. I’ve avoided committing to dates with certain guys due to legitimate conflicts…and then I never followed up because I realized I wasn’t interested. If this guy wanted to see you he would’ve made it happen once he felt better.

      1. Eh. I have had great relationships in exactly this kind of situation. There’s no harm in following up. If he doesn’t respond or continues to be flaky, then move on, but I’d give it a chance.

  4. I got my eye makeup professionally done today, and the makeup artist said they were done but hadn’t put any mascara on my – blonde! – eyelashes. Is that normal, or a new trend that I’m not aware of?

    1. This is only a trendy for the hip youths and even on them it doesn’t look good.

      1. HAHA thank you, that’s helpful. I don’t know whether to be flattered that he thought it would be appropriate on 39-year-old me, or annoyed that he didn’t care whether I actually looked good.

  5. I don’t know how much traction this will get on the weekend thread but this week has been a doozy. Anyway . . .

    I am looking for anecdata on how people know how much work they are willing to out into a relationship when things get hard especially within the first 6 months. My picker seems drawn to men with BIG FEELINGS and unresolved trauma and I go from supportive to OMG in about 3-4 months. I do care about them but I am unwilling to be emotionally drained and have these massive convos for as long as it takes them to sort themselves out. I’m not perfect but after years of therapy and hard work, I feel like I am a good partner.

    After a recent break up initiated by me, I decided to start back with a therapist to figure out how I can do a better job of identifying red flags but also to figure out whether I am giving these relationships a fair shot or if I am giving up when it gets hard.

    I’m okay being single, but I also am not opposed to being partnered – I am afraid I keep cutting myself off from a partnership by bailing too quickly.

    I know everyone’s threshold is different and I have to figure out my own but having some anecdata would help me with figuring it out I think.

    Thanks!

    1. Pretty much zero. The first six months should be fun and easy! I expect my partner to generally have their shit together and be actively dealing with any issues they may have. They should not expect me to solve their problems for them.

      Caveat that I’m only referring to past unresolved issues here. If some new terrible thing happens to them within that timeframe, I’d have a much higher threshold.

      2. Same. For whatever reason, in college I seemed to become close friends with guys with Issues who then wanted to date me. I ended the relationships at that point because I am not anyone’s savior and I am attracted to nice, stable guys. Unfortunately for me the nice stable guy I married then had a new terrible thing happen to him so…

      3. This. If a parent gets a terrible diagnosis or something during the first 6 months, that’s obviously different

    2. This is going to be very personality specific. I’m also drawn to big feelings, unresolved trauma, and hard luck stories. It is emotionally draining, but I don’t mind it, and it’s gotten me very close to people in my time.

      My take is that we’re here to make ourselves and other people better. Not everyone wants this. That’s ok, too.

      1. That is the pure description of insecure attachment style, maybe you should think why you put there.
        Many anxiously attached people derive a sense of worth and value from being able to help, fix or save someone, and so can often find themselves dating someone with unresolved issues who they think they can “redeem” with their love.
        Anxiously attached people have a really hard time with endings, and no where is that more apparent than when facing the prospect of walking away from a relationship with someone they’re attached to — no matter how dysfunctional or unhealthy the relationship is.

        1. This makes sense to me. After a hard breakup, I really worked on my relationship with myself — especially my self-talk. Now that I’m not seeking external evaluation, I don’t feel drawn to these characters.

    4. I had a different problem, getting swept up by womanizers. It felt really odd to date someone less flashy, but I gave it a whirl and it was such a relief! Maybe try some alternative way of getting to know someone?

    5. If it’s an acute crisis, like their parent is diagnosed with cancer, I’m very much willing to listen and support.

      If it’s that they haven’t gotten over their parents being mean to them when they were 4, I’m out.

      1. +1. New issue with no history of similar drama or turmoil? Sure, that’s fine. If he came into the relationship with unresolved baggage or you get the feeling there’s always *something* then nope no way.

    6. I’m almost exactly six months into a new relationship, and I love my boyfriend a lot and see a future for us together, but if he needed major emotional support for big unresolved issues or if the relationship felt hard at this stage, I’d be out.

      And this actually is someone who had a turbulent past– addiction and other issues– but at this point he’s eleven years sober and has been in therapy for ages and is a very stable, dependable, emotionally available person. It has felt like all sunshine and rainbows 99% of the time so far, which is what I think the honeymoon period should feel like.

    7. None. I totally respect that we all might have some issues that we’re working on and don’t consider that a dealbreaker at all, but then you’ve got to be working on them, not using someone you just started dating as an amateur therapist for your unresolved trauma. And I’m saying that because my husband actually was dealing with some big feelings at the time that we met (so to speak – basically in the months before we met, he had had some panic attacks that were clearly linked to unresolved trauma), but the key is that he was dealing with them, by going to therapy. He didn’t let them become a focus of my life at all. And that actually set the pattern really well for what has now been a 10-year relationship during which we’ve both gone through hard times once or twice – we support each other, but we’re not the OMG person; we work through our shit.

      1. +1 to this. My boyfriend also had some issues come up early on (health-related that understandably led to some big feelings). He spoke to me about them, he didn’t hide anything from me at all, and sometimes it felt intense, but it was very clear from the start that he was working with a therapist and with the support of friends and family to move through it in the best way possible. Watching him take responsibility for his own well-being was inspiring rather than overwhelming, which I think was a key indicator for me that he’d be a good partner.

      2. Another +1. I met my husband when he was newly sober so clearly going through a lot. But, he always had clear ownership of his emotions, and didn’t dump them on me. Prior to meeting him I had embraced Byron Katie’s my business/your business/God’s business philosophy which I think has been really helpful in our relationship.

    8. I have a friend whose picker is broken in a similar way to yours & I SO WISH she’d get some therapy. I know she’s not you because she’s in a relationship with a very broken man right now, and I am convinced he’s breaking her.

      I just want to say good for you for seeking help for this.

      1. Thanks! I definitely feel like he was breaking me looking back. That’s a great way to put it. I felt generally happy and content in life and then through the course of three months went to crying all the time, being stressed out, not being able to enjoy all the good things happening to me (e.g., new job).

    9. It should never be “hard” in the first six months! If you get upset about something, you should be able to quickly and clearly communicate healthily about it and get back on track. You are not a free therapist.

      If you’ve invested years or are married/have kids, then yes you have to put in more work and get through “hard” times. But why sign up for a lifetime of “hard” right up front?

    10. The early part should be the easiest, so if it’s already a burden, no. That said, some people are really drawn to Projects. One of my friends married her fifth Project and he is … still a Project. She seems to like having things to ‘fix.’

    11. i want the first six months to be easy and fun

      but — just thinking back to that person a week or two ago whose friends had to justify why they wanted kids or why they worked certain jobs — if you’re asking Big Huge Questions as a matter of course and having those late-night college-dorm conversations then then problem may be you. wasn’t there an interviewer who was famous for making people cry?

      1. I appreciate this perspective! I have asked these kinds of questions periodically in the past and definitely backed off of it. This one was all him, in fact he told me he wanted me to open up to him more (bc I was being mindful of what I was sharing about myself as we didn’t know each other). But this is a good reminder to not get ahead of myself if I ever date again!

    12. There’s a saying “broken people pick broken people”. I have a friend who used to seek out partners that were broken. It wasn’t because they had a savior complex. Rather, they were also a mess and partnering with someone with more problems made them feel more together.

      I’m not saying this is you but…maybe talk to your therapist about it? Are you testing yourself to see how much drama you can take? Or maybe you seek out these types of relationships because you know they will go nowhere? There’s safety in dead ended relationships. Good news is, it’s a cycle you can break!

      1. I suspect it’s the latter.

        My life outside of these couple of short “relationships” is hugely drama free (on purpose). I am secure financially and from a personal perspective, I have a solid and good job at company where I continue to get promoted, my friends are long time and also stable and drama free, I max out my retirement and save money and blah blah blah. In fact both of these men struggled with what they brought to the relationship bc I made more money and was stable vs one who was fresh out of a religious cult (I did not know this until months in) and who was laid off (position eliminated), respectively.

        I think maybe I am initially drawn to them bc they DO want to talk about their feelings and I think that’s great! And then over time it becomes talking about feelings ALL THE TIME, not respecting my boundaries around when/if we have these conversations, having to explain the difference between emotional dumping and asking for a need/want, etc. (this is what caused me to end the last one).

    13. Would you say that you’re drawn to men who’re less ‘grown up’ than you?
      I feel that part of being an adult is having some of that ‘ish’ figured out. If he doesn’t then…not for me.
      Of course, real recent traumas are a very different story. But if he just needs a listening ear/ nurse with a purse/ someone to listen and sympathize/take care of him– then don’t let that be you.

    14. OP here.

      Thanks everyone! This is really helpful bc I kept telling myself it shouldn’t be this hard. I also had to remind myself that my life is great when I am single so I should not be dating someone who detracts from my life vs adds to it.

      I stopped trusting myself in this last situation, I think. A boundary I set kept getting stomped on, so I knew the only option was taking myself out of the situation. But bc he was like wait wait wait I am working on it! I have therapists! I read Esther Perel and watch therapy videos on YT every day! Etc., I probably stuck my head in the sand for a bit and told myself well he’s working on it, it will get better. But I could only take so much of the “my past relationships caused me XYZ thing that now means you have to do ABC so I feel secure” and “I am working through a lot of childhood trauma” in four months. Maybe I am a monster, but it felt like way too much and that he needs to get his stuff sorted on his own.

      I appreciate everyone’s thoughts!

        1. That makes sense for sure.

          I am not sure how I break this habit, but I will for sure be talking to my therapist about how to recognize it asap and move on.

          OP

      2. Oh hell no to that guy. Beware anyone who frames everything in therapy terms too trauma, boundaries, etc. they’re probably very messed up. Therapy isn’t a way of life. It’s meant to help you move on.

      3. Something to think about, OP, might be how early you’re having these convos and why. Have you ever gone on 3+ dates with someone you think of initially as a little boring? Maybe give that a shot if you have the option!

        1. Thanks for the suggestion! I do tend to not continue on with boring dates. I need to learn to distinguish between boring bc no drama and boring bc not compatible.

    15. zero. When you meet the right person it’s easy. This is not the person for you.

    16. I have a near-zero tolerance for drama in the first six months. I believe major life events can happen within that first six month period – including death of a parent, loss of a job, a fight with a close friend, an election – and not automatically increase drama in the relationship. If my S.O. is stuck on something in the past that causes me any emotional pain or if I sense S.O. treats me as a therapist, I usually sleep on it and then am typically immediately out. I also have a “no bad crying” rule the first six months of dating – crying at a funeral is fine. Crying or losing sleep due to how I feel about us, i.e., worrying, or over analyzing, is not okay. If he expects me to suspend my life priorities or guilts me for my life priorities we are done.

      Me and my now-deceased spouse made it through a full year without bad drama. Bad drama occurred for the first time when we both had major negative life events around the same time, didn’t have a lot of sleep, and we both apologized and took steps to right our ship within a few weeks. 98% of the time, I felt “Us first” during these times.

      I also generally have not and will not date people who do not have a support system of their own. I expect to become one of the most important supporters in their life, but if they’re dumping a lot on me, other than “hey X happened in my past, this is heavy but I did W to move through it and live with it” … then I usually do not see long term appeal.

    17. I used to be attracted to really intense men, because the other choice was men who didn’t care about anything and were very blah and boring. Then I wound up being their therapist and mother all in one, bleh.
      The balance is finding someone who is passionate about certain things (like hobbies, self improvement, causes, etc) but is otherwise emotionally stable and mature. That’s the ideal–you get the intensity and passion but not the blow outs and therapy sessions.

  6. What is something you do every weekend as a ritual, that’s just for yourself? I feel every Friday I scramble to find a way to do something over the weekend and don’t have any anchors at all. I think part of the problem is that I’m not religious and don’t have kids.

    1. Every weekend I go to the farmer’s market and a group class for my hobby. I volunteer (on call overnight shifts) every other weekend. No religion, no kids either.

      I recommend volunteering and/or group exercise classes. I find that a scheduled group activity helps.

      1. What kind of on call overnight shifts take volunteers? Can you give more information?

        1. My mind went to hotlines of all sorts. That people can call when they are in distress.

    2. Pre-kids, I would clean on friday nights and either eat up the leftovers or order in, then relax with a book. Saturday morning I would go to yoga 8am class, get my nails done, then farmers market. Home by 11, shower, and then the rest of my weekend would start.

    3. I don’t cook on weekends. I will save a movie I’ve been wanting to watch for Friday or Saturday night if I don’t have plans. I always change my bed linens – getting into a fresh bed is heaven to me. I pick up fresh flowers at the grocery store. I often have dinner with my parents on Sunday nights.

    4. Every weekend I get lots of exercise, usually hiking but gym when it is pouring rain. On Sundays, I either sit on the porch and read the Sunday NYT with a latte, or do the same thing indoors with a fire in chilly weather. Every weekend, I make plans with a friend, not always te same friend, often for my hike or latte. Most weekends, I cook something delicious. Every Sunday, I change my sheets and look forward to Sunday night (a throwback to when I hated my job and was trying to make Sunday night feel better). These are all small things, and they make me happy.

    5. I am a writer, and both Saturday and Sunday mornings, I always go to my favorite local coffee shops to write for a couple hours (before they get busy). It feels really special to sit with my notebook or laptop and coffee mug in a cozy setting, and I even keep up the habit when I’m out of town.

    6. I actually was much better about this before having a child! Every Saturday morning, unless the weather was absolutely dreadful, I would take myself out for breakfast with a book and go for a looong walk. And I would almost always wrap up the weekends but using Sundays as my evening for a big cooking project – I’d try a new recipe or make a favorite one, maybe bake, etc. Now I try to do an early morning exercise class on Saturday as a little reset but my weekends are much less predictable since there are more people’s schedules involved.

    7. Friday night is movie night. If not a movie, it’s a night to veg and not do much. I’m tired at the end of the week and often don’t feel like going out right away.

      Saturday AM coffee and reading time.

      1. When my kids were little, before they were old enough to have their own Friday night plans, Friday night was pizza night. It was sacrosanct and inviolable. Even on summer vacations, we went out for pizza on Friday nights. Here at home we had a favorite place we went out to sometimes but mainly we got carry out on the way home from work. Now I want pizza.

    8. My bf and I try to go to yoga every Saturday followed by the farmer market when it is not winter. I’ll also go food shopping and meal prep Sunday. Before living with my bf I’d go to the earlier yoga class so I could come home and clean and do laundry and have the rest of the weekend free.

    9. My husband makes pancakes on Saturday and French toast on Sunday. This is for him. I don’t like sweet breakfast foods. But that’s his weekend ritual.

    11. Weekends I do my barre class, do a long walk, and go to farmers market.
      I also have a fancy cocktail.

      1. My barre classes are always so packed on weekends I had to give them up. I do the rest, though.

      2. Recently empty-nested, divorcee, over forty, high school English teacher.

        My weekend routine is:

        Friday Dateline or 20/20, read the corporette lawyer ladies’ blog convos to make myself feel smart!

        Saturday morning yoga class and at home spa treatments

        Sunday errands, clean the house, grocery shop, meal prep, and laundry

    12. I wake up early nowadays, alarm or not. So I turn that to leisurely reading when it’s still quiet, with a cup of coffee. Soon I will add a lit tree to that morning ritual (I will try my best to wait until thxgiving). Weekend coffees come with a stroop waffle in our house.
      I also go running in the weekend. Usually also on a weekday, but it’s more consistent on weekends.

    13. I used to have a Sunday routine of go to the gym for a hard workout, get groceries on the way back, cook and prep for the week, and then sit and read a book. It was heavenly and very grounding. Idk why I got out of that habit tbh.

    14. Are you partnered? That also matters. If I were single with no kids, I would make the following my weekend anchors:

      – morning coffee shop visit, to a place that has glass mugs, to sit and read and write without looking at a clock
      – visit a favorite thrift shop to see what neat new finds may have come in
      – visit a farmer’s market, as others have said
      – maybe find a local, easy, low-key hike to do in the afternoon that you know you’ll enjoy – there’s a local 3 mile loop that I’d add as a post-lunch routine
      – go to a movie at night by myself

      1. Thanks yes I’m but my husband is also equally fly by the vibes and anchorless/clueless then scrambling!

    15. I have the thought of logging off of work on Friday and lighting a fire (fire place or fire pit, season depending, putting on a record, and enjoying a cocktail before getting on with my Friday night plans.

      But, I rarely do this.

      I don’t really drink at home anymore, my current apartment doesn’t have a fireplace or fire pit (but I did get a tabletop one!), my record player is broken, and I often have plans at 6 or 7 which makes this harder to do.

    16. On Friday nights my one friend and I (the other single friend) have unofficial standing plans to go to one of our apartments and split a bottle (or 3) of wine and hang out. Unofficial standing plans bc we just do this if we don’t have other plans.

      I love a leisurely morning on my balcony: coffee, NYT games, a book, and a craft. Maybe a fun pastry.

      On Saturday and Sunday mornings usually do one long trail run and one long row. I’m not religious, but I’m a member of the Church of the Sunday Long Run (or row. Or bike)

      Sundays I like to clean and meal prep for the week. Or, go check out a festival / take a walk with my mom or aunt.

      On Sunday afternoons in the fall I’m a NFL devotee. I usually either watch the game with or have dinner with my extended family.

      I usually go out with friends on Saturday nights. Or day drink on a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

    17. Pre and post kids I take my dog for a big walk (at least 90 minutes) every Saturday morning and get myself a chai latte and listen to one of my favorite podcasts!

    19. Pre-kids I had a weekend “to do” list of:
      – exercise both days
      – leave the house both days
      – see friends at least once
      – read in an enjoyable environment for an hour at least once

      Plus any actual to dos. I found those were the keys to making my weekend enjoyable and relaxing.

      Now (2 young kids) my goals are to work out at least once, leave the house both days and to read for at least 30 minutes once.

    20. I think that volunteering in some way that helps others is always a great answer. It makes you feel god while at the same time taking your focus off yourself.

  7. My teens seems to have uniforms (whereas I aspire to the concept). Or is this just how post-pandemic kids are? We live where winter is not especially cold and haven’t seen snow in years.

    Kid 1(winter only): turtleneck tunic-length sweater or fleece; fleece leggings. Will not wear real pants. Sometimes layers a skirt over the leggings.

    Kid 2: Similar, but alternates between sweaters and hoodies and will also wear pants. May throw a Krimson Klover knit skirt over leggings.

    1. I think it’s not just post-pandemic, but how many teens are in general. Mine is in a hoodie and leggings every day. Shirt and shoes change up, but the hoodie and leggings are ubiquitous.

    3. I’m a uniform adult. Elbow sleeve or long sleeve dress with cotton tights (real tights from Italian knitwear brands not leggings), office cape on top while working.

      1. I am too. I have like 8 pairs of navy blue pants. I wear some sort of linen shirt with them in warm weather and a sweater in cooler weather. Everything is shades of blue. Uniform. I’m happy.

      2. I have multiple pairs of the same pants, but in different colors — tan, grey, olive, navy, black, etc. And multiple boatneck tees with 3/4 sleeves in different colors/prints/stripes. Then I throw on a cardigan or jacket. Done.

    4. i don’t mean to but i’m a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans kind of girl. sometimes i wear other things but it depends on my mental energy.

    5. most people I know have a uniform, kids and adults alike. Like I am pretty consistently channeling Katharine Hepburn, but that might be boyfriend jeans and a silk blouse, linen cropped pants and a cotton shirt, or wide-legged wool pants with a sweater tucked in… but it’s all pretty much the same formula.

      Once you figure out the proportions and fabrics you like, getting dressed is a lot easier!

    6. Normal now and was normal when I was in high school in the 90s.

      Me: flare jeans, tank top/baby doll t-shirt, junky flip flops or airwalks.

      Daughter: leggings or shorts, oversized (and often overpriced!) hoodie, sneakers or ugg slippers. She owns like, 5 different $100 hoodies.

    7. Agree that teens like uniforms.

      My school had a literal uniform so I wore that during the week and lived in athletic wear on weekends as I had practice or a game.

      I owned one pair of jeans in high school :)

  8. We just purchased a house, and the front-loading washer’s rubber gasket is full of black mold. I’ve already used the Tide washing machine cleaner once, and the drum smells a lot better…but it doesn’t seem to have helped the gasket. I know we can have the gasket replaced, but I’d like to at least try properly cleaning it once. Does anyone have any tips?

    1. I would replace the gasket. Do you really want to be working that closely with the mold?

    2. Bleach is the answer. Wear rubber gloves and clothes you don’t mind getting bleach spots in. Apply directly.

    4. There is a spring thingy you can get on Amazon that makes removing and installing the gasket a piece of cake. Then you can scrub and bleach to your heart’s content. The tool looks like a pair of pliers but with skinny, wide points. It is not expensive. Before you remove it, mark a spot on your gasket and on your washer with a Sharpie so you can easily line it up again when you reinstall. Amazon also sells a product called Sugelary gel that will take the mold out, but that also will be a lot easier with the gasket in a bucket instead of in the washer itself.

    5. I have found nothing that works in removing the mold. I got a quote for replacing the gasket and it was almost as much as a new washing machine.(I think $6-700)

    6. Well, I finally broke down and bought a top loading washer because I could not deal with the gasket any longer. I used to heavily spray inside the gasket with a mold and mildew cleaner, and then use a brush on a handle to scrub inside the gasket–stick it in there, and go around the circle. The gasket had multiple folds to keep the water in. Just cleaning the washer did not work. This was too much! I think newer machines are better. good luck!

      1. We had a 1990s top-loader at our old place that was a beast, and I am regretting not taking it with us!

      1. Yes! That’s the goo I needed to go find. It’s miraculous. Works on shower tiles too.

  9. Reposting from this morning…

    Asking for a sibling (who asked me to suggest resources): books and podcasts about overcoming non-substance addiction? Think gambling, gaming, screens, that sort of thing. Looking for resources that are actually focused on correcting the issue, not summaries of the current research on addiction. Thank you!

    (Sibling is not currently open to professional/medical/therapeutic steps. They acknowledge it’s an addiction but are still at the “if I find the right resource, I can fix me myself” stage. I suspect the right resource will lead them to seeking professional help, but I’d like to respect what they’re asking for for now. I’m very happy to receive recs that are more in the professional help area so I can be a support if they decide they want that).

    1. Honestly most people I know who have overcome addiction have done it themselves. Sure they read a book or two but there’s no professionals involved.

    2. No one can get over an addiction they don’t want to end. You pushing them will not help. If sibling really wanted to end it, they’d be taking steps to do so already. This is just them finding reasons to not stop.

      1. I hear you. This is not my first rodeo with addiction (one of our parents had a substance problem). But this sibling, who is much younger (barely an adult!) reached out to ask for recommendations, and I would like to provide them. I am under no illusions that I can provide a magic bullet or that they will do anything that they don’t want to. But this is the first time they’ve admitted that they think they have a problem, and I’d like to meet them where they are for now. I unfortunately know how and when to pull back if needed and where to set my expectations.

        1. Good. I’m glad to hear you’ve done the work. I didn’t meant to be flip. I’ve been there with family myself.

    3. I think the Power of Habit- might be useful!

      Most popular nonfiction books that cover habit forming behaviors could provide a cursory window into the mechanics of addiction.

  10. I just started saving seeds from flowers I grew this summer – is it a dorky idea to send a few people seed mixes with christmas cards? i’m thinking one seed mix for shorter plants (calendula, gomphrena, profusion zinnias, etc) and one for taller plants (cosmos, strawflowers, regular zinnias, etc)?

    1. Not only do I think this is a great idea, I am going to steal it. Only for my friends that I know enjoy puttering in the garden!

    2. Everyone who knows me knows I garden and I would be delighted to get a seed mix in the mail.

    7. I’m a non-gardner and would still be delighted by this. Bonus points if it’s in a cute seed packet (even just like a kraft mini envelope with a heart on it).

    8. I would love this. In fact, my favorite gift every year is flower bulbs my aunt sends.

  11. Can anyone help me shop? Looking for a basic black midi skirt, A-line shape or swingy, budget brands. But not pleated all the way around, not sweater, not satin/slip material, not clingy and not obviously elastic waist. Seem to be striking out. Seems like it would be easy to find this time of year. Any recs? Thanks!

    1. I found an A-line ponte knit skirt at Macy’s a couple of years ago. One of their house brands. You might look there.

      1. Thank you! It’s not bad but I was thinking a bit more flowy. I see some suggestions on the same page I will investigate.

  12. I like the look of the J. Crew Factory Snip Toe Boots (I like the seam down the middle and the moderate heel)but would like a genuine leather version. Any recommendations?

  13. I wanted to go back to a post earlier this week but Thursday morning and all day Wednesday are not showing up for me. I go straight from Thursday afternoon to Tuesday. Is anyone else having this issue or is it just me?

      1. SO BIZARRE. They’re still there. Fun new problem to take to the new host, sigh… thank you guys for your patience.

Comments are closed.