Suit of the Week: Alice & Olivia

118 Comments

1. Does anyone feel conflicted about a love of Buffy the Vampire Slayer after all the JW stuff over the past few years?

   1. No. Saying only that seems flippant, I guess, but that’s my answer.

      1. Same (for Off The Wall and Thriller-era Michael Jackson and vintage Law & Order episodes). I had liked a couple of Woody Allen movies and was glad to enjoy them in the moment, but ICK. And Roman Polanski can go to hell — I am a bit stabby that anyone is in his corner.

   2. I don’t. But I don’t generally have a hard time separating the art from the artist. History is filled with horrible people who did some laudable things on occasion, or who were great artists and either problematic or outright terrible people. I think you can just acknowledge both the good and the bad in people and projects and decided for yourself whether what you know about someone’s personal life ruins their art for you.

      I also think it matters how you identify with something or someone. So I can see it being more of an issue with, say, the Bill Cosby where it’s harder to watch the CS or listen to his standup, which is so much about what a fantastic dad Cosby is, and put out of your mind the fact that BC himself is a predator. I guess if you were someone who really venerated JW, it may be hard to disassociate that from his work now but to my mind Buffy was about Buffy, not about JW.

   3. I can’t take credit for this idea, but I also can’t remember where I came across it first. But it is that in the case of Joss Whedon, or perhaps Rick Berman (infamously skeevy producer on Star Trek TNG/Voyager/that era), if their nastiness ruins the show for you, that’s okay. For me, this is the case with my childhood enjoyment of the Cosby Show – forever ruined, can’t do it anymore. But if you still love the show and enjoy it, go ahead and stay with it, because these men were not the only people making this show, and you can support everyone else with your viewership. I like this a lot better than the idea of divorcing the art from the artist completely.

   4. Not a Buffy person, but my answer is generally no. Movies and TV shows involve hundreds or thousands of people and they don’t deserve to have their work discredited because they had to work with someone who turned out to be lousy. The exception is when the art itself seems like it really reflects the problematic person- I never liked Woody Allen to begin with, since he always seemed annoying and creepy, with a gross tendency to pair older men and younger women, but now that I know more about his actions, I really can’t stand to watch his work.

      1. +1

      2. Same!
         I still like Harry Potter even though I am not a JK Rowling fan. I still like Buffy even though I dislike Joss Whedon. With Woody Allen – it’s harder to separate the art and the artist because basically all of his art is about creepy old dudes creeping on younger girls. He ruined Colin Firth for me.

   5. No

   6. I didn’t watch Buffy, but I still don’t feel conflicted about liking Dollhouse (which is probably more problematic to begin with?). So many other people poured effort and hard work into these shows, and I think they represent a lot of perspectives beyond JW’s.

   7. Haven’t actually watched Buffy, so couldn’t say, but still love Firefly, which I believe JW had something to do with, but I have never been a fan of JW so there’s no personal connection (for me). I wouldn’t start watching something newly made now by him.

      For other similar situations, it depends on whether I have actually been a fan. Don’t want to rewatch Johnny Depp films, because one of the things I used to enjoy was finding him attractive. Don’t have a similar reaction to, say, Spencer Tracy, because I never was a fan in the first place so there was no fall from grace kind of situation.

2. Lest I literally imprint on how this pictures styles a suit, for those of you in business-casual law / finance / accounting sort of offices, what are you wearing these days when you go in? [Surely, given the weather, a shirt?]

   1. I am in a government position that is 100% in office. I wear my typical business casual. Mostly slacks and a sweater in the winter.

   2. Lately, straight leg pants, silky type blouse and long-ish cardigan/sweater jacket. Booties. A suit feels too formal when I don’t actually see anyone. Sometimes I wear jeans and a then will add a blazer but I really top out at 60-70% formality most of the time these days.

   3. Surely a shirt. Snort. I mean, the styling is otherwise appropriate office styling, but I shivered only because it’s below freezing today.

   4. Nice slacks with either a) blouse + sweater jacket, or b) wool or cashmere sweater. Some jewelry. Usually with sleek booties because my feet get cold and I don’t wear heels anymore.

   5. These days I’ve been wearing a lot of blouses with slacks. I’m trying to find a midi skirt that isn’t too ridiculously floofy on my 5’4 frame as my pencil skirts feel dated but I haven’t had much luck.
      I would be wearing dresses more but I put on a pair of black tights and wanted to rip them off in 5 minutes flat. If anyone has suggestions of tights that are sturdy enough for winter wear but not SO tight pls lmk, the Wolford ones I have are not cutting it and sizing up just means they are comically long.

   6. Yesterday I wore a dark green sweater-knit skirt with same-color sweater (though not the same knits, if you know what I mean), same color low-block-heel suede pumps, and leopard cardigan. (Actually changed into workout clothes to take a long walk at lunchtime, then changed back.) Today I’m casual and wearing mom jeans, plaid flannel shirt, polka dot cardigan, and snakeskin print sneakers — no need to change for my walk. I pretty much sit in my office by myself all day so I just dress to amuse myself.

   7. A yellow hat with a feather.

      (Surely someone else thought of The Mask here.)

      1. I always think of Curious George and the man in the yellow hat.

3. I know that there are “Big and Tall” shops for men, but what do you do when you need a Big and Tall hat? Specifically, a beanie-type hat that will be long enough to cover my partner’s cold ears and wide enough to actually fit his [bald, cold] head? Nothing seems to be quite right. Is there an XL casual hat place to find something better that really works for him?

   1. Talk to a friend who knits or crochets. Your local yarn store may have someone who takes commissions (this is something I could work up in a weekend day, easily). Failing that, Etsy.

      1. +1 – my giant head is the main reason I took up knitting. The struggle is real.

   2. Two strategies other than actual hat shop:

      Buy a men’s slouchy beanie, and wear it as a regular one.

      Buy a helmet liner style, from a place that also sell’s men’s helmets for biking or cycling (which comes in XL and even XXL).

      1. +1
         Slouchy beanie seems like the easiest here. I have a big head for a woman, and the beanies designed to be folded over or worn slouchy always fit me.

   3. Google “big and tall winter hats” – many options.

   4. Look for an actual hat shop!

   5. Go to a store that sells men’s work clothes like Dickies, Carhartt, etc. Not target, but a specialty store. They always carry big and tall sizes and will have what you need.

   6. Try Lamood Big Hats

4. COVID testing in my area is often drive-up spots in large parking lots (like for a stadium). You theoretically drive up, but you could be in a snaking line for hours. What do you do if you have an electric car? I know that there is a mileage range, but I think maybe this is not a good idea (and the lines weave in rows, so if you need to leave, it might not be easy to do that).

   1. What do you do if you don’t drive?

      1. It is a huge problem! Most testing is at pharmacies which only do drive thru testing and I live in a city where many people don’t have cars!

      2. I literally took an Uber through a testing site once. (Told the driver before hand, asked if it was okay, I was not symptomatic but needed it for a trip)

      3. There are a lot of testing sites that aren’t drive-up.

      4. “What do you do if you don’t drive?” is absolutely the right question.

         I have an electric car, have waited in drive-up Covid testing lines, and it’s absolutely not a problem. Climate control takes such a small amount of energy compared to driving, and even when driving 60mph, I can drive for hours without needing to charge. I could probably stay in climate controlled comfort in my car for days if I was just chilling and occasionally driving a few feet. What do gas car owners do? Don’t you feel bad about exposing yourself and everyone to harmful exhaust from idling?

   2. Huh? Why would an electric car have a problem?

      1. I think that people have range anxiety and now idling-for-hours anxiety. Like will your battery % run out before you get out of the line of undetermined time? IDK. I’m guessing that someone in the US has found out the hard way.

         1. Electric cars just turn off, they don’t idle. If you don’t move, they don’t draw power from the battery.

            1. Surely they must draw some power to run the air and heat?

            2. Climate control takes a negligible amount of electricity compared to driving. I could remain at a comfortable temperature in my electric car for days without needing to charge.

      2. This is basic physics. The amount of energy required to accelerate a large mass like a vehicle and its contents to highway speed and keep it there against the opposing forces of friction and wind resistance is just orders of magnitude greater than what it takes to power the electronics and climate control while not moving.

   3. I wouldn’t wait in that kind of line for a COVID test unless I had a really good reason, like I was one of the handful of people eligible for the new Pfizer pill and needed a test to access it. I’d just stay home and quarantine for 10 days after the onset of symptoms.

      1. That was my initial reaction, but people have pointed out to me that it’s good to have a confirmatory test in case you suffer from long Covid symptoms. There may be treatments or even special disability payments that are only available to confirmed survivors down the road. That said, the Walgreens and CVSs in my city take appointments. The appointments are booking three days out, so not very helpful to get a diagnosis but fine for a confirmation, and once you get an appointment you don’t wait forever because you have a scheduled time. So it wouldn’t be a problem with an electric car.

   4. electric car doesn’t use “fuel” when idling like a gasoline car does

      1. If you run the heater though? And are literally inching forward?

         1. Why are you making up problems? Deal with your anxiety without dumping it on us

         2. Climate control and occasionally inching forward use a negligible amount of energy in my electric car. I could do that for days before needing to charge.

   5. Not a testing site, but there were tons of discussion of gas vs electric cars right after the I-95 snowstorm backup.
      https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2022/jan/07/facebook-posts/theres-no-evidence-electric-vehicles-fare-worse-ga/
      Competing op-eds from the Post (warning, paywall):
      https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/01/13/electric-vehicles-would-not-have-made-mess-interstate-95-worse/
      https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/01/04/imagine-virginias-icy-traffic-catastrophe-with-only-electric-vehicles/
      And more general info:
      https://www.reuters.com/article/factcheck-environment-ev/fact-check-electric-cars-not-more-likely-to-get-stuck-in-traffic-jams-idUSL1N2RW0QD

      1. Based on how my phone does in cold weather, I’d not be optimistic. Can you ride with a friend who has a gas or hybrid car? Or borrow a car and refill it with gas?

         1. Phone batteries are tiny because they have to fit in your pocket. Electric car batteries are giant, because driving at highway speeds takes a fair amount of energy and a car can carry giant batteries.

            While it’s true that batteries don’t perform as efficiently in very cold weather, it’s really not an issue for someone inching along in an electric car in a Covid testing line because their battery is enormous and climate control doesn’t take much energy compared to driving at highway speeds (which is what that battery was sized to do).

   6. I have worked a lot of hours giving vaccinations at my city’s drive-through events (between 6 and 18 lanes). So similar to drive-through testing. Wait times have varied from 10 minutes to 5 hours. Cars break down/run out of gas/die all the time. When that happens the Army or volunteers push your car to the side, out of the way.

5. I want to thank everyone for their input on my thread yesterday about plus ones for cousins for my wedding. The reason I mentioned that I’ve never met these people is because my cousins don’t bring them to family gatherings. However, after reading the comments, I’ve decided that I’ll extend an invitation to the partners, but not a blanket +1 for my cousins.

   I’m grateful to have this community to help me think these things through!

   1. I missed the thread but that’s what I’d do – invite named partners but not +1s

      1. That’s what we did too. Some people will be mad if you do anything less than +1s for everyone, but I think named partners is a perfectly reasonable line to draw.

      2. I also invited partners by name, but not a random +1.

   2. I missed the thread but I agree that named partners is best. I hate the no ring rule, it’s gross to judge the seriousness of other peoples relationships.

      My only caveat is if you’re inviting someone who will be traveling a long way alone, and who won’t know any/many people at the wedding, let them bring someone. In my early 20s, I traveled across country for a friend’s wedding weekend where I wouldn’t know anyone. He wouldn’t let me bring a friend/newish SO. At the time I went along with it but in retrospect I think it was kind of awful. I wouldn’t expect a 22 year old woman to travel such a long way, pay for a v expensive hotel, and attend a ton of events by herself. But see – I didn’t give my 20-something cousins +1s to my wedding because their parents and siblings were all coming and none of them had more than a 2 hour direct flight.

      1. Oh, definitely! These people are my cousins, who will know 40+ other people at the wedding, so that’s definitely not a problem here.

6. Internet friends, please help me settle a debate with some colleagues. What are:

   1) Typical billable hours requirements in biglaw? Typical expectations for billable hours in biglaw?
   2) Typical billable hours requirements and expectations in midlaw?
   3) Total work hours expectations for in-house counsel?
   4) Total work hours expectations for government attorneys?

   1. I think it matters which firm / office / practice you are in. For what I do, my hours will never be what a corporate or busy litigation associate does, but I feel like niche hours re tend to stick (not get written off as often). I know people who’d be in jeopardy if <2100 and others who are fine at 1800. If you know one anecdote, you know one anecdote. Sadly. There are groups in my firm that have never had a female parent associate who had a working spouse (so no female parent partners) and other groups have many. At some places, it is routine to leave for work on TH and come home on F.

   2. 1&2 are the same, generally around 2k to be successful. Some will tell you the requirement is less, even as low as 1800, but you won’t actually be considered a good associate if you’re billing that low, and you might not even be bonus eligible.

      Idk why this myth persists that midlaw is better than biglaw. Midlaw has the same or worse billable requirements/expectations as biglaw, the trade off is they pay less (billable rates are lower) but you have a better chance of building a book and making partner. Maybe midlaw will pay lip service to being a lifestyle firm but that rarely plays out in real life, at least for associates. My impression is that midlaw partners have better work/life balance than biglaw partners.

   3. Most Biglaw firms will say 1900-1950 (including pro bono and community hours)…what people actually bill will range from 2100 to 3000..

      1. 57 hours per week for 52 weeks a year? Are they double-billing or something? Or billing for thinking about the case in the shower?

         1. 3,000 is crazy and unsustainable and a complete outlier, but I had multiple months one year where I billed in the 290’s and ended up with a 2500ish year. When you’re on multiple hot deals and billing 16 hour days (even meals are with deal colleagues talking about work), your life is miserable but your bonus is GREAT.

            1. I always thought that that happened for litigators who spent all day in court and then worked on next-day things after court, anyone with tons of travel, and then corporate associates “going to the printer” back when people actually went to the printer.

   4. My state government law office: about 50 hours per week.

   5. My midlaw (regional biglaw? I don’t even know what we count as anymore) has 1850 billable requirement, 1900 for bonus eligible for associates. Having said that, there are a lot of associates that don’t hit 1850 and there don’t seem to be repercussions as long as they’re decently profitable. Partners are lower billable, more nonbillable (so more total hours. But again, profitability seems more important than hitting target hours.)

   6. Federal government and we are 40 hours/week although sometimes it’s a little more than that. Practice groups within my agency have varying work-life balances, I happen to be in a good group that values work-life balance.

   7. My midlaw is 2000 to be bonus eligible. The expectation is 2100 but attorneys range down to 1800 without any real consequence (other than lower $).

   8. Govt attorney. Expectation is get the work done. So no specific expectation for hours. I average 65 hours a week to get my work done these days. Understaffed and lots of people out lately with COVID — so a lot of extra work.

   9. Don’t forget the nonbillable expectations. Time spent on networking, biz development, committee work (in and out of the firm), pitch decks, etc. adds up fast, especially when you’re the token female included for diversify appearances. And if you say no to any of it you’re viewed as uncommitted or lazy. And you don’t get credit for those hours at bonus time at some firms. I’m in house now and don’t miss that aspect of private practice.

7. Why, oh why can’t stores style suits with a shirt?!

   1. Agree on the sentiment, but at least this style of photo confirms one hundred percent that this suit will not fit my bust…

   2. For real. Show me how to wear this!

   3. Alice & Olivia is not a workwear brand. Most of their clothes are for 20 somethings who want to party, although they’re certainly not priced that way. I think you’re expecting too much and you should just use your imagination.

8. Love the choice! Beautiful color and love the color blocking.

9. Someone asked a good question this morning re travel and how it feels like people who are your peer income level afford so much of it, even without parental help. Got me thinking re savings and retirement. Yes OP – savings and retirement vary A LOT and that’s true even for smart, well educated white collar professionals.

   Reason I know this – when I started at my current job, HR went on and on and on about how 90% of employees at our company max out their 401k; sounded very impressive. 2 years later the company changed the plan and upped their matching from 5% to 8% – the rollout was messy and thus there was a TON of water cooler talk about retirement. Guess what turns out most professionals in my dept, making 150-200k had been “maxing out” at 5% and now were “complaining” they’d need to put in 8% to get the full match; they were not putting in the 19.5k IRS max. If you make 200k, put in 8%, you’re saving 16k – respectable but 4.5k less than the IRS max. You pretty much get two-thirds of that 4.5k in your paycheck, so that’s an extra 3k — guess what there’s one extra vacation they have that you don’t.

   Same is true with savings. I’ve learned from colleagues and friends that most don’t just save just to save/invest. They’ll max out their retirement, kids’ college, and an emergency fund – if they’re super responsible they’ll make sure that liquid savings is like 1-2 years in expenses and then they SPEND the rest because they feel they have “enough” esp by their 30-40s. Meanwhile you may be taking the same 200k salary and trying to save an extra 20k liquid after retirement etc. that you can throw into brokerage accounts yearly — guess what that’s like 4 more nice vacations or 2 more very luxury vacations. So yeah priorities vary.

   1. Oh, wow. I never put in less than the full amount due to . . . just thinking that that was what people did. And even then, it wouldn’t really be enough to fund me in retirement without saving outside of that.

      1. I understand this so well that I am sometimes sad when the IRS raises the limits. I am over 50, so there’s the catchup on top of the usual limit, and I have access to both a 401(k) and. 457(b), so I am broke broke. Still, it is tough for me to put in less than the max.

         1. Same. I’m 41 and have been maxing out to the IRS max since age 26 though there have been gaps – like a year at a clerkship; a year and a half unemployed etc. So while I’m working I feel I MUST put in the IRS max and yes I too am “sad” that the IRS max goes up and is now over 20k; I mean I know it’s a good thing so I do it but there’s another few thousand in income that isn’t going to vacations because I just don’t feel right about spending anything until retirement is fully maxed. But yeah this OP is right – my employer [4000 employees – so pretty big] did a huge survey of retirement contributions and yes more than three-quarters of people were putting in just the company match and this was true across income ranges; the 200k+ bracket had nearly the same % of people putting in just the co. match as the 50-100k range. So yeah it’s not shocking to figure out where all the vacation money in the 30-40 something crowd comes from.

   2. It also depends on when you bought your house. If you spent 10 years in the city paying $$$$$$ in rent after graduation before moving to the suburbs and buying a house (us), you are in a much worse position that all the people in our podunk suburb who got married straight out of college and bought houses at age 23 back when prices were super low. Some years later all of these people have paid off their houses or have tiny mortgages or have traded up to much bigger, nicer houses with the same mortgage we have on our crappy little starter house.

   3. Going to second this. I know two friends (both colleagues as well) who don’t participate in the 401(k) at all, to my knowledge. One invests heavily but still doesn’t see the value in utilizing a 401(k) retirement account. I don’t understand it at all, but they seem fine with their choices.

      1. They may be making the assumption that taxes will be higher when they retire so it makes more sense to save already taxed income now. There are lots of flaws in this argument from my perspective, but it’s not an uncommon view.

   4. At least with people’s vacations, don’t discount points, too. Pre-pandemic, I traveled a TON for work. I didn’t pay for a personal flight for years thanks to airline miles from work travel. (I miss work travel for a lot of reasons, and my lack of skymiles is one.)

   5. ok not everyone who goes on nice vacations is secretly skimping on savings and I hate the mindset that there must be some “bad behavior” if someone else is doing something more expensive. Some people prioritize having a bigger or more expensive house, nicer cars, nice watches, frequent meal services or takeout, fancy gyms, or any number of things that they value. The same 20K you think they’re siphoning from discretionary investments? That could also come from not spending let’s say $400 a month on getting $50 takeout twice a week (there’s $4800 a year), driving an old car (no $500 a month lease or loan payment, there’s another $6,000), doing free or low cost workouts like running or riding a regular bike (no gym membership at let’s say $150 a month, there’s $1,800), not getting a $5 Starbucks each workday (at roughly 250 work days per year that’s $1250!).

      So… just because you know someone who chooses to spend more on travel doesn’t mean you should be secretly judging them for their inferior, paycheck to paycheck lifestyle. Also, you have no clue if the person is using points, miles, pounced on a web special far in advance or last minute, etc. /end rant

      1. I mean, it’s literally true that every dollar spent on travel could be re-directed to savings instead, and it’s hard to ever be sure you have “enough” for retirement. But that’s true whether you spend $1k or $20k on vacations. I agree with you that most people I know, us included, with big travel budgets aren’t in debt and save significant amounts for retirement and kids’ college if applicable and generally aren’t engaging in reckless financial behavior. I think a lot of the “they must be in debt/not saving for retirement” comes from jealousy.

         1. Yeah but you aren’t saving the absolute max you could save – bc that travel money could mean another 10k or whatever in savings. I’m not judging – I do the same and save a ton but not every dollar possible because life is for living too. Same way I don’t eat ramen nightly to save money but it I did that’d be more savings. I think it always comes down to travel – than say a fancy car or custom furniture or whatever else – because you can largely see travel via social media, whereas people aren’t posting that they hired a carpenter to build the custom media center that cost $4000.

      2. This makes me ragey too – one of the best expressions from days gone by is “you can’t count the money in another man’s pocket” (update as needed). Sorry OP but you have no idea what I actually earn or what my household income is or how I’m invested. It’s none of your business and I’m not going to openly talk about it either.

         1. Then why post?

            1. Who says you’re posting? In chatting with colleagues or neighbors or friends, the fact you were recently abroad does come up…

      3. Thank you. That post and this one made me rage-y too. Sure there are people that are in the situation OP described but what a jump to make that’s everyone who participates in some activity you decide isn’t worthy. I’m sure I could point to things in OPs budget that I think are frivolous and could be better spent saving, too. The truth is unless you are having open and frank discussions with people about their finances, you have no idea what their situation is and it’s pretty gross to judge their spending / assume they are making “bad” choices. Maybe they are maybe they aren’t but why are you assuming the worst? To justify your own spending habits?

   6. Yeah I’m one of those people who puts in a lot (generally in the $70k range for two of us) but not as much as we could if we cut back on our travel. But we put in more than most people do, quite a bit more than the traditional IRS limit for people who only have one account (we each have two), and honestly I think the world is going to change so much due to climate change and things like that that I’m not sure any of us can really count on a stable and financially secure retirement no matter how much we save. My parents are also pretty affluent and while it’s not guaranteed I’ll get an inheritance, it’s pretty likely, which is another reason I feel comfortable not maxing out and directing a large chunk (and yes I’m very privileged and grateful to be in this position).

   7. It’s all about priorities and a bit of luck. I live in a small townhouse in the burbs rather than the hip downtown neighborhood where most of my friends and coworkers live. I drive cars until the wheels fall off, so I get a lot of years of no car payments. I don’t buy designer clothes, shoes, bags. I make my own coffee, pack my lunch every day, and try to eat out only once a week. I’m in good health. I also don’t have family commitments like parents who need support, kids, or a deadbeat SO/baby daddy.

      So yes my one indulgence is travel. I get some judgment from friends and it’s really obnoxious. Like explain to me why being house poor is better than spending money you actually have – not money you borrowed – on a great experience? I couldn’t sleep at night with the mortgage amounts that some of my friends have, but if it works for them that’s great! Just don’t throw shade at me because I made different choices.

10. What’s your favorite chocolate cake recipe? My son and I made the Baker’s chocolate cake recipe and my son says cake mix cake is better! He’s looking for a moister, softer, airier texture.

    1. This one, forever and always.

       https://www.hersheyland.com/recipes/black-magic-cake.html

    2. This. 100% this. Just the cake though, I usually use a regular buttercream with it https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/triple-chocolate-layer-cake/

    3. This one: https://iambaker.net/the-perfect-chocolate-cake/

       Would look for an oil-based cake recipe that used hot coffee. You won’t taste the coffee, it enhances the flavor of chocolate.

       1. +1

          Agree on the coffee.

          My favorite frosting to make is a butter cream with coffee and cocoa.

    4. Ina Bartek’s chocolate cake is amazing.

    5. This is not super responsive but I just stumbled across this one and it looks divine: https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1021761-dulce-de-leche-chocoflan

    6. OP here, thank you all! My mouth is watering!!!

    7. This one is the best! https://www.food.com/recipe/the-only-chocolate-cake-recipe-youll-ever-need-devils-food-26370

    8. https://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/double-chocolate-layer-cake

11. does anyone take xiidra for dry eyes? is there some way around the crazy expense ($650 on goodrx)?

    1. My optometrist got my health insurance to cover it. It wasn’t easy for her though! Sadly it didn’t help my eyes.

       1. But the key point was that it was my health insurance, not my eye insurance, that covered it. FWIW I go to an optometrist at my local Target store. We had to document that I tried two other treatments before trying the Xiidra.

    2. I used it for a month and stopped. It was crazy expensive and the individual containers drove me nuts. So much waste and the drops didn’t come out right all the time. So it worked, but wasn’t worth it.

    3. I tried to get it and couldn’t get it approved by insurance. They sent a letter saying I had to fail a different drug first, so my opthamologist prescribed me that drug, and they denied it as well.

       As a self employed person who buys my own insurance, I have to wonder what those thousands of dollars a month for my supposedly “gold” level plan are actually paying for.

12. Feeling some major Covid frustration over here. Last week I had some sniffles and a sore throat. I took a Covid test, it was negative, and I went to work, where I was masked all day (we are fully in the office, in a position working with the general public). The next day I still felt a little off, so I took another rapid test, still negative. By the weekend I felt fine. On Monday, two unvaccinated coworkers were out sick and now one has tested positive for Covid and the other is getting tested today. I have no idea whether I actually had Covid last week and just didn’t test positive for whatever reason, or whether this is fully a coincidence. Obviously there are lots of other places to pick up Covid right now, and they are out and about living their best mask-free lives. Still, I feel super guilty for the possibility that I exposed them (even though rationally I know that they chose not to be vaccinated). I’m also really frustrated that I might have had omicron and not known, because if I’ve already had it I would feel a lot more comfortable relaxing in the next couple months! I hate the uncertainty of this round of Covid!!!

    1. Oh my god stop inventing problems. You didn’t have Covid. You had multiple negative tests.

    2. There has been some anecdata that Omicron doesn’t get picked up as well on nasal rapid tests as with a throat and nasal combined rapid test, with people testing negative on multiple rapids but positive on PCR on the same day. I don’t think there’s any scientific or tested data about this yet, but I guess it’s worth keeping an eye out for recommendations?

       For your particular situation: of course it’s possible that you had Covid last week. It’s much more likely that you didn’t. You did the right thing, followed best practice and guidelines and have nothing to feel guilty about!

    3. Can you go get a PCR test if you really want to know if you’ve had it? I thought PCR testing showed positive for weeks after infection.

    4. You know, I feel you! I somehow got the cold of the century over Thanksgiving. I took rapid tests every other day (they were easily available and I was meeting people), 6 or 7 negative results total. On day 6 of my symptoms, DH tested positive for covid. He isolated, nobody of the 6 vaccinated adults in the house caught anything, and my tests continued to be negative. Then after 3 or 4 days, he felt totally fine(continued to isolate, but was getting stir crazy), meanwhile I was still hacking up a lung. Took me almost 4 weeks to get over it, so obviously there was always an inkling whether this isn’t covid after all.
       But here is the important point: You tested negative twice, and it’s highly unlikely that you were infectious during that time, even IF you have/had covid.
       Less important, but maybe of interest: the way to use and interpret testing has changed when you have immunity through vaccines or prior infection compared to early in the pandemic. It used to be that you’d get the virus, it reproduces, you get infectious, and at some point (days later) your immune system starts fighting, and that’s when you get symptoms. Now, your immune system gets attacking the virus right away, so many people report feeling symptoms but testing negative for 1-2 days and then finally test positive.

       1. “Now, your immune system gets attacking the virus right away, so many people report feeling symptoms but testing negative for 1-2 days and then finally test positive.”

          This is what happened to every one of my vaxxed and boosted relatives who caught COVID over the holidays. Multiple negative tests, then positive as late as 3-4 days after the onset of symptoms.

          1. +1. I think there is a decent chance you gave your coworkers Covid. Ideally you’d be able to stay home when you’re sick, whether you have Covid or not, since it’s not great to spread any contagious respiratory infection, and it seems pretty common for tests now to not be reliable in the first few days. But you’ll probably never know for one way or another, and whether this was irresponsible behavior on your part depends on your employer’s sick leave policy and whether it’s acceptable to actually stay at home in this scenario. They certainly would have been better off if you’d not infected multiple other employees!

             1. that conclusion is really a stretch. The test is not negative because of some magic test-evading power of the virus. The test is negative because the virus levels are below the detection limit. If it’s below the limit, there is also a good chance that it’s not enough to infect others. The amount of virus then builds up over time, until you test positive.

    5. Thank you all for the reassurance. I’ve got a PCR test tomorrow. I definitely hit a bit of an anxiety spiral today – I think the stress of the last two years is catching up to me.

       1. It’s been so hard. Solidarity to you and thanks for still caring and trying to protect people!

       2. Agree with the poster above that it is the right thing to stay home (vs go to the office), if you feel sick (incl cold, flu). Even pre-COVID, as a manager, I sent home immediately every “hero” that has a sore throat or high temperature or “just a cold”. I don’t need them to make the rest of the team sick, especially pregnant women who cannot take any real meds, so catching “your light cold”, would be hell for them.
          Did you have COVID? Take the PCR test.
          Did you infect your unvaccinated colleagues? They chose to be ok with that risk when they decided not to get vaccinated in pandemics. No reason for you to worry. They will get “the real immunity from overcoming the illness” rather than scientifically developed vaccine. They will be fine.

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