Suit of the Week: Banana Republic Factory

166 Comments

1. For those who have a window–do you look out of it? My desk faces my window because the window is the 3rd wall of my cubicle, and I’ve angled my (only) monitor so it doesn’t block the window. I think the direct natural light and glancing up at pigeon saves my eyes, not to mention the fact that I enjoy the view.

   But I’ve recently noticed this my set-up is unusual. Like, every single other desk faces a wall. Is this common, or just my org.? Can anyone explain why?

   1. Because I hate people walking up behind me which would happen all the time if I faved the window.

   2. Looking into my monitor with the window behind it hurts my eyes.

   3. Where I work, every cube is set up so that the occupant is facing away from the windows. It drives me crazy. But they were set up that way by TPTB and we don’t have the option to change them.

   4. Everybody in my office faces a wall, and I even know a few people who face directly opposite the window so their back’s to it.

   5. I sit right beside three big windows and I love looking through it. I don’t know how people stare at the wall all day.

   6. I have my back to the window because it makes me uncomfortable to have my monitor facing into the hallway outside my office – I often have spreadsheets pulled up with people’s salary, etc. It also makes for a more natural setup for people to sit across from me during one-on-one meetings in my office. It would be nice to have a window view, but my window looks directly into the parking garage across the street, so not particularly lovely anyway.

      1. I am like you. I do not want people seeing that I am on the Internet or reading Corporete instead of working, so my flat screens are facing me, not the door, and if I see someone coming in, I flip to my billing sheets, which are always open. I do look out the window, but there is nothing to see but a big smelley dumpster at ground level. We got a deal on this space, but you cannot see Park Avenue, just the dumpster, even tho it is a Park Avenue address! FOOEY!

   7. When I was in an office I went to great lengths to face the door, or at least be able to see the door out of the corner of my eye while I was looking at my computer. I really can’t stand being startled in my own office and hated the idea of anyone strolling by and being able to see my screen without me even knowing they were there. This sometimes meant that my back faced the window. I still enjoyed the windows greatly and would make a point to look out it regularly throughout the day.

      Now, I work at home and my desk is centered on the windows. I always worried the bright background of a window would make it harder to see my screen but that hasn’t been an issue at all–possibly because I only use a laptop screen now, which is obviously lower than a true monitor would be.

   8. I actually would hate the bright light of staring into a window all day behind my monitor. That sounds like a huge headache recipe to me.

      So maybe that’s why you don’t see it done all that often.

      I also don’t like my back to the door. I like to see ‘em coming.

      My office is oriented with the window to the left of me and even that way I still have to get up and close the shades on particularly sunny days due to the brightnesss issue.

   9. I arrange my office so my back is never to the door. Sometimes that means I face the window, sometimes I don’t. I’ll give up my view to not be startled by someone walking up behind me.

   10. Our cubes are set up that nobody has a window as a wall – the window is one of the walls of the “hallway” to access those cubes near the window.

       I think this is part because the heating units are just under the window, but it also makes the windows more public access space than the property of the cube owner. There are tables set up next to those windows, that anyone can use. But they are south-facing windows and are often way to bright to see your screen if you had a set up right in front of the window.

   11. Being able to see people approaching my office, and no squinting thanks to facing the sun all morning.

   12. I guess I’ve found a sweet spot, because my window is 90 degrees from my “door” (there’s no door–it’s a cube), and my monitor is in the angle between the two. I actually started with the goal of trying to see who was behind me, and this was the best I could do. I’ve actually gotten compliments from IT folks about how much less glare it catches from either the window in front of me or the ceiling lights in the room behind me.I would highly recommend it, although it wouldn’t work with the multi-monitor setups or standing desks that most other people have.

       I can kind of understand facing the door, or managers/collaborative workers who are set up for meetings. What I’m really baffled by is people who choose to face the interior wall away from the entrance, and then have to rig up mirrors, etc… Takes all sorts, I guess.

       1. It’s great that you get compliments from IT, but why does it baffle you that other people do things differently? Why do you care? Also, why the condescending last sentence?

          1. Since you asked, I observe people generally to try to understand them. But sometimes I find that I just really can’t, and I don’t think that is condescension as much as it is a sense of being disconnected from the people around me.

             1. “takes all sorts” usually has a negative connotation. Also seems really dramatic here.. I don’t know that there’s anything significantly different about a person who chooses to face one wall than another wall.

   13. Your computer monitor should be perpendicular to the window.
       I do health and safety at my company, and ergonomically-speaking, to reduce eye-strain, this is what is recommended.

2. I have to say that I love Banana for suiting.

   I try to love AT, but 5-4 me cannot figure out their sizing (somehow the waist-to-shoulder dimensions are never right and I can’t fill out the dress tops).

   BR fits me — usually 6P jacket, 6 pants, 6 skirt. And they have wool suits (the BR ones are lined and the BR washable wool ones, while unlined, are the only wool pants that don’t make me itch if unlined).

   1. I have this suit! I tried on the dress and it’s super weird and doesn’t fit right. The skirt is great. Looking forward to wearing it this spring!

3. Academics: I am on staff at a graduate school and considering trying to transition to a faculty role. I have the bona fides to do it (terminal degree from a top program in my field– on par with the existing faculty) but I little teaching experience outside of one-off trainings and no publications. I am considering asking the dean for an adjunct position (1 class, on top of my staff role) to ease into the teaching gig but my DH is cautioning me that adjuncting can be a dead-end. I.e., why would they put me on the faculty if they can have me teach 1 or 2 classes as-needed at the adjunct rate? I know every faculty is different, but for those of you with inside hiring experience, have you seen people move from staff to faculty? What do you recommend? Should I try to publish something first? Switch to a VAP position for the teaching experience? Get an offer at another institution and leverage it to be put onto the faculty?

   1. They’re not going to put you on the tenure track faculty. That just isn’t at all how hiring works. If you want to teach, sure! Adjunct! If you want a tenure track professor job, go try and get a post doc and publish and go on the market.

      1. That’s definitely been my DH’s experience (he is a PhD in English), but this is a different context– a law school where precisely 0 members of our faculty have PhDs and some come from practice– as in, they were lawyers at a law firm. We don’t even have post docs in my field, though there is a market similar to what DH has done.

         1. Oh this is law school? Call your law school advisor and ask them. They should have tons of info on the legal job market.

         2. I am staff at a law school (and teach as an adjunct). Honestly, I can’t imagine this happening. With no publications, getting a VAP will be very difficult too. Do you have the credentials and experience to pursue a clinical position?

            1. I do– I’ve been practicing for 7 years in a field that is in pretty high demand right now. But my school tenures its clinical faculty (which is not the case at the law school I attended) and there is an existing clinic that is directed and taught by a recently-tenured prof. So, she’s not going anywhere. If she were to expand I could get a staff attorney position in her clinic, but that would not be a teaching job (and they are not well paid, unfortunately).

               Tell me more about adjuncting and your staff role. Do you teach a course that is related to your staff position? Do you teach during your normal working hours or do you teach an evening class? Do they pay you a regular adjunct per-class rate or is it folded into your salary somehow? I would really like to try teaching but I am not sure I could do it in the hours outside of my full-time job. I’d love to hear how you’ve structured it.

            2. Clinical professors in a law school can be a different well of politics than the adjunct/tenured professor track. You are probably more likely to become a tenured clinical professor at a law school if you have practice experience, which is not necessarily the case for other professors in a law school.

               So, I’d be careful extrapolating the clinical experience.

         3. You almost certainly need to publish law journal articles to get on a faculty. Doing a Climenko or other teaching fellowship, or a VAP, may give you time to develop your research and pitch to schools. (If your school has tenured clinical faculty, then that’s a different route with lighter publishing expectations).

            I don’t think adjunct teaching will hurt your chances, but if your publications aren’t on par with the faculty’s, then the combination of top school + some teaching experience (+ clerkships, or whatever) probably still won’t do it.

         4. Could you pick up as an adjunct for an evening course at a nearby paralegal program to try out teaching generally? That way you would get your experience (ideally in an area that you’d like to bring to law school for teaching, creating some transferrable course content), without being in a really tight, small fishbowl.

            Take inventory of what subjects might be a natural fit for you to teach. Sometimes LifeHappens to an adjunct and a department is scrambling in late August or January, but you won’t want this to happen for topics that are beyond your ken.

            Nthing talking to your alma mater’s career services department for feedback on faculty paths that isn’t so tightly tied to where you work.

            Think on how not-being-selected for a faculty position will affect your motivation on your bread-and-butter work, where you want to shine. How will it affect your relationships with colleagues in day-to-day work? 1-2 no thank yous are absorb-able. Too many may be corrosive, and hiring committees are charged with finding the best match, which means very solid candidates are passed on all. the. time. for the one that is just a skosh more. Do your homework, LOTS of it, and be prepared for excellent candidates that may have a little more KSAs

            Best wishes.

   2. Hmm. I’ve been at three pretty divergent (from each other institutions, from a small private liberal arts school with several grad programs, a big private liberal arts with several grad programs in a major higher ed market, and now a massive top state research institution.

      My experience, which is limited to what I’ve seen in these places, is that your husband’s instinct is dead on. There seems to be a solid wall between staff and faculty, and the searches are more intentional on the faculty side than seeing who might be useful in house. The people that get hired on the faculty side have been faculty all along, somewhere, fighting up that chain of progression.

      1. +1. I’ve seen it happen exactly once, and the person who made the jump got it because he had skills in a seriously niche aspect of tax accounting that he had before he came to the university and didn’t use in his staff role. He did adjunct prior to receiving the full-time appointment. Also, his full-time appointment is non-tenure-track.

   3. When you say faculty, do you mean tenure-track or a full-time lecturer? I think adjuncting can work as a transition to the latter but not the former. Some might say there’s no distinction between adjunct and lecturer, but I think of adjunct as someone who teaches one course for a fixed amount of money and has no benefits or employment contract, whereas a lecturer teachers several courses on a longer-term (often 3 year) contract and is considered a W-2 employee of the university with benefits like health insurance. But your husband is right that this is not a path to a tenure-track position.

      1. I guess either? We have both and I have heard contract faculty be very happy to teach without the burden of publishing and serving on committees. Of course tenure sounds cush, but I know enough to know it’s not always all its cracked up to be.

   4. Is your university research-focused or teaching-focused?

      1. Teaching. It’s a law school.

         1. Elite law schools still consider themselves research focused, I think. TT faculty have to publish regularly, just like faculty in physics and sociology do.

            1. Oh for sure. This is not an elite law school.

            2. Law schools (at least top tier law schools) are decidedly not teaching focused.

            3. Echoing Also anon for this–I loved BarBri because I felt like I was finally learning efficiently! I suppose learning how to read case law was useful but, ugh, such a frustrating educational experience.

            4. Ha, fair point. This is a small, regional law school, so much more focused on teaching than top tier schools.

   5. My husband is a tenured professor, I know many of his colleagues and have many, many friends who are in academia. From your question, it sounds like you are not a pHD, you might be a librarian, lawyer, artist. Based on what I have observed, people with that profile can pick up classes at the university level. If you would like to do that in addition to your regular job, it is possible.

      If you are looking to switch from your current job to a tenure-track faculty position, you have a harder road ahead of you. Again, from your question it sounds like you don’t know much about the hiring process for faculty. Publications are part of the bare minimum for most (if not all) positions. If you would like anything like a job as tenure-track faculty, I would start researching about all that is involved in that process. It is quite a lot. Also, there is a great deal of variation in adjunct roles. Sometimes the adjunct is running around town teaching 6 different classes at 3 different schools. Sometimes the adjunct is a leader in her field who is doing the class almost as a way of giving back to the community. I’ve even met people who teach a class as a recruitment tool for their firms.

4. For those of you in BigLaw, what’s your maternity leave ramp down/up policy, beyond the x number of weeks of paid leave? Such as: ability to work less than 100% for x number of weeks before and after going on leave, with no prorated salary reduction or bonus reduction? How are your hours treated immediately before and after – is there some credit given for ramp down/up time? Please also specify – AmLaw 50, 100, 200. I’m at an AmLaw 200 firm where the policy has historically been prorated everything, and we are looking to update the policy.

   1. Amlaw 50 – 50% target for the month before and after leave, pro rated bonus but no pro rated salary reduction for the ramp up and ramp down. I thought this worked well, but it would have been nice if they would continue to give you a pro rated bonus target if you took additional leave (unpaid or accrued vacation), so you may want to consider that. My previous AmLaw 50 firm didn’t prorate at all unless you took more than six months (after which I think there was just no bonus, but I’m not sure).

   2. OP: I’d ask this again tomorrow on the mom’s board.

      1. Please ask on the main board! I’d love to see the answers and I’m single, no kids.

5. Does anyone play Pokémon Go as a carrot to get yourself to exercise more? Any tips or tricks?

   1. My husband plays it. So, amateur tip, but don’t drive to your PokeySpots and then sit in the car for the battles.

   2. I play, made it to level 40. I do in addition to exercise, but it had made me like long walks a lot more.

   3. Me! It motivates me to walk more than I otherwise would. Most of the people who are still playing at this point seem pretty into it. You have to invest time in it for a while to level up enough to get good stuff, but you advance through the early levels really fast. There are lots of tips on the Web. Join team mystic (the blue one)!

6. Is there anyone here who works as a freelance writer or editor and can tell me more about your life is like or the pros and cons of this job? Or any resources you recommend for someone who is looking to start doing that? I currently do marketing for a big organization, and although my job is pleasant enough (nice colleagues, decent benefits and pay, great flexibility) the work is a little repetitive and I’m contemplating leaving to do freelance work and spend more time with my young kids. We can easily live off my husband’s salary, so money is not an immediate concern, but I don’t want to be a “career SAHM” and would like to be doing at least part-time paid work by the time my kids are in school. I know the freelance world is competitive, and while I have a fair amount of writing and editing experience, I don’t know much about pitching or freelance life. I sort of stumbled into my current job and don’t have a degree in English or journalism, but I do have a variety of published work with my byline on it.

   1. I freelance write on the side and it’s a lot of work for not a lot of $$$. I’m lucky to be on staff for a major website so I have work coming in consistently, because I definitely don’t pitch enough. What I’ve gathered from others who freelance FT is that they are pitching CONSTANTLY and pitching a lot of different places.

      My suggestions:
      – Make sure you’ve got a website with your published work and also PDFs of your work available.
      – Follow editors on Twitter, a lot of them will put out calls for pitches via Twitter
      – Try to develop relationships with editors in your niche area
      – Also consider looking at some of the part time roles with sites like Bustle, Elite Daily, Refinery29, etc. Often they have roles looking for someone to work 10-20hrs per week and you get an opportunity to churn out a lot of content and build your portfolio.

   2. I freelance a tiny bit and hire freelancers for work. The people I know who have made a living wage freelancing are the ones that have a contract of some kind, instead of working on a project basis. Since you’re looking at part time, that may not be as much of a consideration, but I would start with your existing contacts who know you and your work. A lot depends on what you’re trying to do. Write articles for publications? Serve as a marketing consultant? I think you have to be really clear about what you can offer that companies don’t have the resources to handle in-house.

7. I just googled the Midwest flooding because I’ve seen a bit about it on social media and I’m shocked it’s not being discussed more in national news. I’m really upset at the images I saw. I live in Virginia but I want to help although I don’t know how. I don’t have a ton of money. I’m mainly interested in animal welfare and can lend transport services, donate supplies, etc. Where do I start? Any other ways I can help remotely (with anything, not just animals) without a lot of money?

   1. It’s been covered daily in the NYTimes. Give what money you have to give! Even just a little. That’s the best way to help.

   2. Red Cross is the number one way to help, IMO. After that, I’d look for specific charities that target your interests (animals). Sorry I don’t have better recommendations.

   3. Donate to the American Red Cross?

   4. I’m in Nebraska right in the middle of a lot of the flooding (thankfully not my house). There are several organizations that I have personal connections to that I know are helping animals impacted by the flooding, including the Nebraska Humane Society, Catz Angels Rescue Effort, FurEver Home, Inc., and
      Lusco Farms Rescue. You can easily vet all of these online, as many of them have posted stories and photos on their FB pages of their efforts.

      1. Thank you! So sorry this is happening in your area!

   5. It’s horrifying. I’m in Nebraska, and I would recommend these organizations:
      Nebraska Farm Bureau disaster relief fun for farmers
      Salvation Army of Omaha
      Red Cross of Nebraska/SW Iowa
      Lutheran Family Services

      (Now, I realize people have issues with the national organizations of several of these charities, but if you really want to get relief directly to people in the affected areas, this is where you need to go.)

      Look at the list of vetted charities on the Lincoln Journal Star or Omaha World-Herald websites.

      Thank you for considering helping. My family is only tangentially affected, but it is horrible and will take years to clean up. Not to mention the loss of life and livelihoods for many.

   6. Former Nebraskan with lots of family impacted. My hometown was wrecked. A very close family friend lost everything. His house, his livestock, his equipment, his dog. He got out with one trailer of cattle and his pickup. Giant chunks of ice went through the levee and created a flood the town hadn’t seen and frankly didn’t seem possible. This story is repeated across literally every town in the eastern half of the state. Infrastructure is destroyed. Machinery is destroyed and planting is right around the corner. Hard to put a crop in the ground when your planter washed up in the next county.

      1. He couldn’t take the dog?

         1. He thought he had more time. He’s devastated. We are pretty far upstream and not an area that floods. His animals are his life and he thought he was being overly cautious moving his livestock at all.

8. Anyone else hate boring, basic self-care? I find myself resenting the need to do things like shower, feed myself, get haircuts, etc. Obviously I still do it enough to be socially acceptable, but it’s just so dull. I would rather be doing so many other things! I promise I’m not depressed or filled with self-loathing or anything. I just have extremely limited time and energy, and brushing my teeth is not my favorite way to spend it. Has anyone felt this way? Were you able to change your frame of mind about it?

   1. This is a new feeling to me but–yes! I am loathe to take a shower, do my hair, or get dressed for the day (I WFH and often have the luxury of getting just dressed enough to take the dog out). I have been fighting depression lately, though, so have wondered if it’s partly a symptom of that.

      1. Yes. It is. Classic symptom. Pls share this with your doctor.

         1. I have (and also my therapist), among other symptoms. These happen to be low on the list at the moment, so long as I’m caring for myself at a level that is allowing me to function. Thanks for pushing me to take care of myself, though, I am usually the pusher and it’s actually nice to fall on the other side :).

            It is quite frustrating that there are SO many symptoms of depression. Even with my long history of it, I’m still figuring out what different levels of depression look like for me.

      2. I’m sorry you are dealing with depression. I also work from home part of the time, and it definitely doesn’t help on the self-care front even without depression.

         1. Thanks for the comment. I do have a hard time piecing out what is depression and what is just normal, “no need to do X so why bother?”.

   2. Yes! Sometimes I just cannot do the full “getting ready” – unfortunately my hair is very fine, so without daily washing, drying, styling it gets very greasy. :( But, to answer your question, yes, sometimes I will decline (minor) invitations to do things because I just cannot force myself to do shower, hair, makeup.

      1. +1 I’m more than a little jealous of cultures where grooming is a social activity or where it’s normal to pay to have your hair done, etc.

      2. I also have fine hair that gets greasy early. I used to wash it every day, but now I wash every other day. The secret is putting baby powder in my hair at night – it absorbs the oil while I’m sleeping. I wash at night, blow dry, and sprinkle a little in. Then, the next night, I put more in. That lasts me through the day. This has been a life changer for me!

   3. That’s not self care. IMO self care is anything that you do just for yourself because you enjoy it. Some people like face masks, massages, etc. Others may prefer to read a book with a glass of wine. These things are basic hygenie. I don’t brush my teeth because I enjoy it. I brush my teeth to avoid caveties and bad breath. I absolutely hate washing my hair, blow drying it, doing my nails, etc. I don’t do them because I enjoy them. Now give me a glass of wine and some Bravo reality tv and I’m happy.

      1. This. Showering and brushing your teeth is basic hygiene, not ‘self care.’

         1. I find this string of argument strange. I understand that basic grooming may not be anyone’s version of fun or true “self care,” but it is still caring for oneself (usually with a positive outcome). I’m usually pro-semantics for the sake of clarity but the new version of “self care” is a new one… why pick on the use of the term in it’s more literal sense, when that is clearly what she meant. Further, some people find grooming to be self-indulgent and therefore it would qualify under your definition of self care.

      2. I disagree. Self-care is taking care of yourself – the things that you do to keep yourself as healthy and functional as possible, physically and mentally.

         1. “Self-care” is a scam whereby capitalists who want to sell you sheet masks, blowouts, and nail polish try to convince you that what we used to call “pampering yourself” is meaningfully the same kind of thing as showering, going to the dentist, and filling your prescriptions.

            But it was pretty clear, from context, what OP was talking about.

            1. +100

         2. I disagree. Self care is a relatively new term/concept. My mom didn’t tell me to go do self care when I was growing up. She said wash your face and brush your teeth before bed. When someone says self care now, it generally refers to doing something you find soothing or relaxing. Not basic hygiene. Also, unless you are living in poverty or a third world country, brushing your teeth is not self indulgent. You do it so that you continue to have teeth!

            1. No, it’s not a new concept. It’s just recently been co-opted by advertisers to mean “buy expensive cosmetics to #pamperyourself”. It used to be used with respect to people who are care givers for others with disabilities or medical issues, and also in activist circles, to refer to making sure that your own needs are met in addition to the people/causes you are supporting. In that context, hygiene would be self care.

      3. I totally agree with you that it’s not self care, but basic hygiene. And I love Bravo too. I watch most of the RH franchises. Glad to see someone else has bad taste in TV….ha ha!

   4. I feel this way about cleaning and laundry. Hate. Literally never ends until you die. But I can’t afford to outsource.

      1. I wish I could outsource showering!

         1. There is a movie (Chinese) called Shower from 1999/2000 that is a comedy that you could watch for a laugh and call it self care. There is an automated shower in it that, if real, might be of interest to those who find showering tedious.

   5. I went through a phase of forcing myself to do it (and I was depressed at that point), and it’s transitioned into an extremely comforting ritual. I started with building a skin care routine because I was having really bad breakouts. I chose products I really liked that felt good to use. I got soft cotton PJs and nice robes to wear while I do it. Gradually added on more self care tasks, bit by bit, and now it’s what keeps me sane.

      1. +1. I like to browse the bath and body section at TJMaxx for body washes that smell really good, or splurge on Aveda shampoo. Same with bathroom decor – I don’t think your bathroom needs to be a total spa retreat, but maybe upgrading towels or getting pretty storage containers would help.

   6. I totally agree. At the end of the night, once I’ve commuted home, made dinner, done the dishes, packed my lunch for the day, etc. showering and self care don’t feel like relaxation, they feel like yet another “to do” on the list before I can sit still.

      1. YES, that exactly. But if I sit still first, I’ll sit still all night long and never do any of those things and I’ll regret that later.

         I did read an article once called “Better Health 9 to 5” that suggested taking 15 timed minutes right when you get home to do anything you want, no distractions. Examples given were “sketch, listen to music, read a chapter in your latest book.” The few times I have done that (and put my phone away for it!), it usually ends up being a nice evening. Maybe if I stick to it, it’ll work.

   7. Ha, this is what the Gilbreths call “unavoidable delay.” They played foreign-language records while bathing; I guess the modern equivalent would be podcasts?

      1. Oh, I loved that book as a kid and had totally forgotten about it!

      2. I totally listen to podcasts in the morning while I brush my teeth, shower, get dressed, and do my hair and makeup. It relieves the tedium!

   8. I’m with you on the resenting basic personal upkeep and maintenance tasks! My solution is to tack something I really enjoy or do not usually have time for onto the task. For example, I hate showering and doing my hair. I do it because I understand the value of hygiene and I like when my hair looks nice, but I resent the task. So I reserve my favorite, funniest, best podcasts to listen to in the shower and while I’m doing my hair. Brushing my teeth is the same. Something about having to stop everything to brush my teeth just irritates me. So I’ve made it a routine to use my toothbrushing time to make a to do list in my head. I think through the rest of my day or the next day and by the time I’m done, I feel more relaxed and prepared for whatever I have going on. Sounds weird, but it works for me.
      Side note: I have struggled with depression in the past and can identify when that is the cause v. ugh I hate having to allocate time for this. It’s a very different feeling! I trust you know yourself well enough to make that determination as well.

   9. Yes. I don’t like washing my hair. I don’t mind showering but the full shower with washing and conditioning is something I dread, I think because I hate having wet hair after the shower, and I hate blow drying it.

      I also put off forever getting my nails done. I maintain a gel manicure and I know I could do without but I like how it looks. It’s the sitting there for an hour for them to take it off and do the soaking, cuticles etc and then apply and dry the new color – man I dread it. I don’t know how anyone calls this a treat yo’ self moment.

      1. Ha! My last gel manicure lasted 6 weeks. My nails were half grown-out before I finally dragged myself to a nail salon to get them done. This time I went with regular polish so I can just remove it and file my nails at home. (I got the gel 6 weeks ago for a special event.)

   10. I used to resent my night time routine, especially washing my face, until I started to notice how much of a difference a proper skin care routine made. (I’m someone who made it to 26 years old trying to get by with a drug store cleanser for my long-troubled skin.) I only respond to positive feedback.

       Lately I’ve found myself bored and annoyed by my morning routine, which I have scheduled down to the minute. It’s like I’m irked that I have to do the same thing AGAIN TODAY!? Will I be forced to live on a treadmill of applying lotions and creams FOREVER!?

       1. Yes agreed. I am 40, and the entire set of routines that I have to follow is so annoying. Not because I am older and the routines are harder, but because i have been doing them for so long. I hate the nighttime ritual of washing my face, applying all of the lotions, brushing my teeth, putting cream on my feet before putting socks on, and so on. And I hate the corresponding morning routine. And all of the hair appointments, make up research, nail appointments, clothes shopping. It is an endless chore.

   11. Yes! My favorite thing at night is to give myself self massage on a tennis/softball while catching up on shows or youtube. I get pretty tight if I’ve driven and sat at work all day (I usually take a train to work and walk, which helps a little), so I’m really loathe to get up from the massage floor once I’ve gotten down, even if it’s for otherwise important things like showering and tooth care.

9. Favorite pubs in London? Will be staying near the south side of Regent’s Park/UCL if that matters.

   1. Whichever is closest!

      1. Ha, definitely valid :)

   2. So many of the pubs are similar (and many are owned by the same companies/ have identical menus), so “whatever is closest” is pretty good advice. With that said, a trip to the Churchill Arms in Kensington is nice (and, I think, worth going a little out of your way).

      Also, you’re close to Maryleborne, which has lots of wonderful cocktail bars, if you’d like to go a little snazzier than the traditional pub scene.

   3. Where you are definert matters! Also whether you want lively, local, sports, food, CAMRA etc.

      Have a look at http://www.fancyapint.com

      I quite like Samuel Smith pubs, they have no music – but they only do own brand beer. But that’s a Northern brewery, so Fulham or Mean Time would be more local brewey’s

   4. My pub-loving husband recommends the King Charles the First (North Down St) or Mabel’s Tavern over that way. The various Craft locations have great selections as well.

   5. Also, the Golden Eagle on Marylebone Lane.

   6. Thanks all! This will only be my second time #adulting in London, and I was not with a pro-pub travel buddy when I was there last year.

10. Does anyone do weekend meal prep as a way of counting macros? Alternately, is sheet pan meal prep a thing, where we can save raw ingredients ahead of time and then just pop in oven?

    1. Can’t comment on the macros aspect, but at least in my life, sheet pan meal prep is definitely a thing. Pre-chopping the veggies saves so much time on weeknights. I figure if Trader Joe’s can charge me $4 for a pre-chopped bag of broccoli or butternut squash, the veggies I cut myself can survive in my fridge for a few days.

    2. Yes to both. Towards the end of the week, I figure out recipes and pop them into MFP to make sure my macros for the week are appropriate. I grocery shop on Saturdays or Sundays and cook on Sundays I usually chop as much as I can on Sunday (and for things that don’t lose their flavor, like soups, I cook them on Sundays too). I’ll preportion my and DH’s lunch for the whole week (takes up half my fridge) and then during the week all I have to do is cook the protein and whatever veggies I need. I usually search for low-carb dinners to make sure that it’s easy to stick with my macros and fill in the carbs with snack (nuts, yogurt, milk).

       1. Same w/r/t grocery shopping on the weekends and meal prepping my week’s lunches on Sunday so it’s easier to track macros for the week. I do super easy meals too. This week’s was ground turkey, broccoli, brown rice, and shredded cheese mixed together. Last week I made chicken breasts, roasted potatoes, and green beans. I’ve also made spaghetti with meatballs using prepackaged frozen meatballs, burrito bowls, chicken stir fry, etc. Those are my main dishes for lunch and then I always add fruit and a small treat like a granola bar. I always eat the same thing for breakfast (protein shake w/ PB2, a banana, and Fairlife milk) and a snack at work (greek yogurt with granola added in). So my macros are super easy to track and all I have to worry about on a daily basis is dinner.

    3. I do! I’ll batch cook protein, carbs, and veggies. Usually will run out of veggies by Wednesday and need to make more. I’m totally fine eating the same thing all week, but it can get a little boring. Slow cooker & oven are my go-to’s.

11. Hi, all! I am joining my partner in London in a couple of weeks. He will be working during the day, so I will have that time to explore by myself and then he will join me after 5:00 for dinner/drinks. We will be staying in Mayfair at the Westbury but are open to exploring anywhere. We love good food and drinks. Any recommendations? (Also, I searched for this but did not see recent comments.) Thank you!

    1. I’m all over the bottom of this thread today…loooove Ffiona’s in Kensington for dinner, for both the food and the experience. Dishoom deserves the hype. Borough Market for lunch/snacks during the day. Fortnum & Mason is worth a visit; the salmon and spinach pie at the lunch counter is SO good, and it was fun to bring some fancy teas home. Definitely worth doing a classy tea somewhere–can personally recommend Claridge’s and I know Sketch is a popular option on this s*te.

       1. +1 for Sketch and Dishoom!

       2. I also love Ffionas, Dishoom and Borough Market!

       3. +100 for Dishoom. Also, get cocktails at Gong at the Shard (make reservations)– it’s the best view of the city, I swear! I love the Tate Modern. And the Seven Dials area near Covent Garden is wonderful to walk around. The theater is much more affordable in London than New York: see a show.

       4. Co-sign on Dishoom. We loved our first meal there so much that we had dinner at a second location a few days later!

12. Looking for recs from the Hive. I recently returned from Portugal which I visited to at the recommendation of the ladies on this board. I absolutely loved it, but am having some vacation blues now that I’m back. I would like to start investigating/early planning another trip. I would love to hear other recommendations from the ladies here since Portugal was so amazing and I don’t think I would have visited if I hadn’t read about it here. What places do you just love to visit/where should I go next?

    1. I had a great time on the Dalmatian coast – beautiful weather, very reasonable prices, lovely historic sights, hikes in national parks, and (because I love learning about depressing history), a museum dedicated to war photos. Might be a little too similar to Portugal since it’s europe again – my current fantasy vacation is a trip to Buenos Aires and from there a few days in Mendoza Argentina.

    2. What did you like about Portugal? Spain, Italy, Greece, Croatia all come to mind as places that might appeal to someone who loved Portugal. I have wanderlust, so it’s hard to go back to the same place twice, but Italy is probably the country I feel the most pull to return to over and over again.

    3. If you loved Portugal you will love Greece. A day or two in Athens and then Naxos.

    4. Totally depends on what you like, but some of my best trips from the past few years:
       -Argentina (Buenos Aires + polo ranch)
       -Cartagena, Colombia
       -Edinburgh

       1. Can you share a bit more about your trip to Cartagena? I love your style and am considering going.

          1. I realized it was more than a few years ago after I posted, ha. I spent 3 days there. I stayed in a small private hotel in the old quarter, which was really lovely. Spent most of the first two days just wandering around checking out historic buildings and museums, and the third day took a boat trip out to the Islas Rosario. It’s incredibly beautiful and the people are super friendly. And there’s a plaza that is famous for selling sweet street foods (like tamarind balls). So tasty.

             1. Thank you!!

       2. I would also be interested in hearing more about Argentina, as with it being such a big country it seems daunting to plan something.

          1. Argentina is super big, for sure, so I had to narrow it down. I spent just a bit more than a week there, with 2.5 days on the polo ranch, 3 days in BA, and 3 days at Iguazu Falls (including the flight to get there). It was really lovely, and frankly, it’s a pretty easy place to navigate IMO (although I am fluent in Spanish so it’s a bit hard for me to judge how easy it is to get around if you don’t speak Spanish at all).

             1. Those three stops sound perfect! My husband is a native Spanish speaker, so we would be fine on that end. Did you get from place to place through flights? Train? Driving?

    5. jumping on this thread to ask for Porto and Lisbon recommendations. Thanks in advance!! My sister, mom and I are going in 2 weeks!

       1. Lisbon: go get seafood at Cervejaria Ramiro. Be prepared for a wait, but I promise it is worth it! One of the most memorable meals I’ve had traveling, like ever.

          Also definitely do at least a day trip to Sintra from Lisbon.

          1. Major yes to both of the above. I actually got the Ramiro recommendation from here! Also, a carafe of champagne sangria at Can the Can in the Praca de Comercio and people watching.

             My final hot take, while people rave about the tarts in Belem, the ones at Manteigaria in the Chado are superior.

             1. Gah for the typo!

       2. Hi! I have so many recommendations! I am legit still wishing I was there. :)

          Porto:
          – Day trip to the Douro Valley (they have some boat trips I think, though we took a train and stayed 2 nights in Pinhao) – the scenery here is just gorgeous! if you spend any real time out in this area and do the wineries, I would recommend Quinta da Corte and Quinta do Tedo which are very small producers, but the tastings were fun and delicious! (And not pretentious, which is my biggest pet peeve!)
          – In Porto, go to the wineries across the river from the city (we took a water taxi across rather than walking) – Taylor’s and Croft were both very good, but there are plenty to choose from.
          – Muu Steakhouse – make a reservation, but it was really my favorite meal, and probably the best service I’ve had in my life.
          – Impar – another great restaurant
          – You have to try the francesinha which is their typical dish there. Our AirBNB host told us to go to Alfandega Douro for the best one, and we did. I have to say it was pretty tasty. (Note – Their address recently changed, and they are now on the second or third floor of a place called the World of Discoveries, but google maps did not have the new address so we showed up at the wrong place first.)

          Lisbon:
          – Go to the Principe Real and/or Rato area. We stayed in Chiado and it felt very much like the tourist district whereas the Principe Real and Rato seemed more like the trendy uptown area for locals. It was more my speed than Chiado, to be honest. Check out a bar called Pavilhao Chines, very quirky and fun place to grab a cocktail.
          – You must do Sintra – it is unbelievable! (We did Quinta da Regaleira, Monserrate and Pena and loved them all.)
          – Cervejaria Ramiro for seafood – very very good!
          – We also ended up loving piri piri chicken from a place called Churrasquinho do Barrio (we went twice, it was so good!) This is a tiny restaurant with only two tables to dine-in and many people do takeout, but we sat both times and ate and people watched. It is also connected to a large market hall place (Mercado de Campo de Ourique) which we went to both times. There are various stalls with roasted nuts, gelato, tempura (very good!), sangria, etc. This is more in a residential area so it was more local people, and we enjoyed it a lot.

          I hope you enjoy your trip as much as we did! It was a really great place to visit.

          1. I also just realized all of my recommendations were food-related! Whoops! A couple of non-food recs:

             – In Porto, we did a tile workshop from a place called Gazete Azulejos. I was worried it would be cheesy, but it was so fun, and even my husband loved it. We learned a ton about the tiles that you see all over Portugal, and have a new appreciation for them when we would see them on the rest of the trip. We also got to paint our own tiles to take home as a souvenir, and they turned out beautiful. Bonus – proceeds from the class go toward supporting an archive/catalog of all the tiles in Porto. If you book straight through their site rather than a third-party site, it is only 25 Euros.

             – In Lisbon, the Jeronimos Monastery is a must-see. I was skeptical because I was like eh, it is a monastery, how interesting could it be?! But it was fabulous! (Also we had many, many pasteis de nata and the ones at Pasteis de Belem really were the best!)

             1. That tile workshop sounds so interesting!!

                +1 To Jeronimos, so beautiful

       3. In Lisbon, the candle store and SeaMe.

       4. In Porto, go to Flow. One of the best restaurants I’ve ever been to.

    6. Thanks, all! I think what I liked most about Portugal was that it was very charming, and somewhat slow-paced. Particularly in the Douro Valley and Porto. And it had a combination of beautiful scenery and interesting architecture. And the food and wine was delicious, of course!

       These suggestions all sound great, and I’m going to do some research into them. I’m embarrassed to admit I haven’t traveled as much as I would like, but now that my student loans are dwindling, I’m hoping to make it a more regular thing!

       1. Southern Spain is also slow-paced and wonderfully charming. So much history and culture, with food to die for. Peak season is mid to late Spring with their various holidays and festivals. Summer will be too hot. For off peak traveling consider February or March. Accommodation is very cheap then (like 50 USD/night cheap) if you stay in 2/3* hotels and 100 USD/night if you opt for nicer 4* places.

13. Thanks for all the kind words about my cat’s passing yesterday. It wa very sad but the vet team was super kind and allowed for a very peaceful moment. It warmed my heart to read your comments once I returned home.

    1. I’m thinking of you. Internet hug

    2. Hugs! Thinking of you

    3. Sending you lots of hugs. Take care.

    4. I was wondering how you were doing. Sending hugs!

14. Those of you who’ve had to play Whack-a-mole with antidepressants, what was your psychiatrist like during that time? Mine has me come in every two weeks (since January, $90 each time) where I invariably tell her, no, I’m not better or I’m a little bit better. My work and personal lives are being severely impacted and it’s really not cool. The doctor sees me for literally 5 minutes, asks how I am, and writes me a prescription for a different dose/formula/drug. She doesn’t seem to believe that there’s nothing going on in my life to cause my previous antidepressant to stop working. (No, really, other than this sh1t, my life is honestly picture perfect and I am deeply grateful and frequently count my blessings. But it sounds untrue, I get it.)

    But something about the 5 minute, prescription pad, drug tweak, “what’s wrong in your life?” rubs me the wrong way…but given that I’m not in my right mind, I’m not sure if it’s just me.

    1. I think a lot of psychiatry is observation – it’s not what you’re saying to her; it’s how you say it (tone), how you look that day (she’s showered/kempt/clothes suitable), your demeanor (hunched over v standing tall. . . ). So it can be a quick assessment.

    2. At first I thought she was also your talk therapist, which made a little more sense to me, but then I saw it’s a 5 minute appointment! This isn’t normal at all.

       I don’t know what she’s trying you on, but a lot of meds take longer than two weeks to kick in; I’m not sure what she thinks she’s optimizing? My psychiatrist was Harvard trained, respected in her field, etc. and definitely made me go longer than that between appointments and dose changes unless I called her with a problem. She said psychiatric meds need to be given a chance to work.

       (The meds still didn’t really work for me because my issues were mostly overlooked medical problems, but that’s not really my psychiatrist’s fault.)

    3. Every two weeks is probably too short a time frame for you to really know if something is working. I think the normal time frame is for depression drugs to kick in at two to four weeks. Some are a bit different, though.

       If you don’t think your psychiatrist is being helpful, I would change, for sure. I have noticed over the years, though, that as Anonymous at 3:40 alluded to, my doctors were paying more attention than I thought. They could read between the lines better because they were further from the situation (if that makes sense?). That said, if you’re feeling not helped by this doc, then try another! If nothing else, you’ll rule out that it’s the doc that is the problem. I promise you won’t be her first client to doctor shop.

    4. My therapist is also an MD/neuropsychiatrist so she prescribes the meds and we talk about it when I come in.
       Expensive. worth it.

    5. Mine did a lot of that over the phone but didn’t take insurance for the office visits. When I did see him he spent 45 minutes with me. Sadly he’s retired.

15. Would you judge someone for looking like their boss/mentor?

    I was hired to eventually take over a book of business for a managing partner. She is above average height, slim build, has gray/blonde, angled bob hair, dresses mostly in separates. I am above average height (slightly shorter), slim build, have blonde hair, and I mostly wear dresses or full suits. Before joining this firm last year, I had a bob hairstyle. When I joined, it was just below chin and I have kept growing it out until just above shoulder length. I HATE HATE my hair at this length, and either want it to be a bob again or mid-back…but clearly don’t have the patience to wait till it is that long. I told a friend who knows me and the partner that I’m getting it cut, and he said people might think I’m trying to be her ‘twin.’ Would you think this? I know it’s not my intent, but I know how important reputation is in a professional services industries and I don’t want to lose face/be the butt of a joke. Granted, I also need to look professional, but wanted to know if this is a real thing.

    Yes, this is a petty/first world problem/small potatoes compared to many other things. But hoping to get advice nonetheless!

    1. No that’s insane.

    2. Your friend was messing with you, you’re overthinking this. Do you know how many tall slim blonde women with short hair exist? A TON! And oh no, you’re a woman so you wear dresses and suits! You’re a lawyer it’s expected. Literally no one will think this. At most there will be a “hmmm she cut her hair” thought pass people’s mind and that’s it. Please don’t cloud your already busy and full mind with this foolishness.

    3. I’ve definitely noticed this, but I’ve never judged it. It just makes sense to me that people in similar roles would present themselves similarly.

    4. A bob is not such a unique hairstyle that it would be strange for two people to both have it. If she had a mohawk, yes this would be weird. If you’re still feeling self-conscious, you could opt for styling differences like layered vs blunt, tousled vs sleek, etc.

    5. I’ll dissent from the current view and say that I do think it may be strange seeming IF you actually look like her. Not sure how you would go about it, but you might try to get a second opinion. I’m thinking that the friend is quite likely to be either pulling your leg or exaggerating. If you weren’t clearly in a boss/subordinate roll, I don’t think this would be a problem at all. It also seems entirely possible to me that simply the fact that you dress differently is sufficient to separate the two of you. Or, it could be that it’s noticeable you look somewhat alike and that no one cares because there’s no other indication of undue favoritism.

    6. I think it depends on the ethnic/racial/class makeup of your team, but I would definitely find it off-putting if you showed up with a similar style. If you have a pretty homogenous department, go for it (no worries about alienating non white ladies because they never get an interview anyway)– but if I worked there, the consistent grooming/look amongst more powerful execs would be a definite clue that my ethnic self did not belong.

16. How much would you feel comfortable keeping in the bank before you started paying down consumer debt? I owe $13k on one credit card and $6,700 on another (I know, shameful). I am a loose follower of Dave Ramsey and last year I followed his steps which made me only have $1,000 in my savings account. That ended up being awful advice for me as several emergencies hit and I pulled my credit card out. I took a step back, hoarded $10k in cash, and now trying to figure out how much, if any of it, I should use towards these cards. I haven’t used the cards since last summer but the $6,700 one will start to collect interest in April. I’m thinking about just knocking it out with my savings but I’m also scared to part with that much at once. What would you do?

    1. Pay it off, shut it down and work on the other one.

    2. Keep your stash, and now use the same approach to snowball through your debt. Being able to build up that fund and not use your cards for that long is impressive and shows you can pay down your debt and live successfully. Build on that!

    3. Watching with interest… I’m in a not dissimilar situation.

       1. Is that like a similar situation? Hahaha

    4. I’d keep $4-5k for emergencies, and pay down a significant portion on the smaller balance. Once you get it paid off, turn your attention toward the larger balance and pay that one off. You’ll have some money in your emergency fund which will give you mental breathing room to sweep anything extra to paying off debt. Everyone’s emergency fund level is a little different. I feel best with a minimum month’s worth of expenses in the cash fund. Once it’s funded to that point, it goes to debt.

    5. I would pay off the credit card that will start accruing interest in April. It makes no sense to pay interest when you have cash on hand. As soon as you have the first card paid off, start working on the other. I probably wouldn’t keep more than $1000-2000 as cash on hand if I had consumer debt accruing interest. If an emergency came up while I had $13K of credit card debt, I’d seriously evaluate whether it’s a true emergency and what my options were to avoid putting expenses on a credit card again–but it still makes more sense to have that as an option in a real emergency than to hoard cash just in case while paying interest on prior debt.

    6. Use the savings, pay off the card, then split your extra cash flow 50/50 to building up your emergency fund and paying down the second card. Rule of thumb is 3-6 months of expenses in savings, so calculate that number and work toward it.

    7. I am dork enough and able to emotionally disengage from the decision enough that I would calculate exactly how much I would pay in interest on each card with varying splits of monthly payments and paying off in large chunks, then sticking with the path that would cost me the least amount overall.

       Outside of that, I would pay off the smaller card now from cash on hand and then split my monthly available amount between paying off the other card and rebuilding my emergency fund.

17. Random question: Anyone (especially with an older home) use a TuffShed for a garage and can speak to experience?

    We have a 1920s stucco cottage with a tear-down-needed garage. We have been quoted what I consider extremely high amounts for a rebuild of the garage (detached, 1.5 car). We’re looking into maybe using a TuffShed instead but I first need to make sure the quality is good and that aesthetically, we can get something that blends in with our house/neighborhood (similar roofing, siding, pitched gables, etc.).

    Thought I would check here as well as G o o g l e and neighbors. TIA!

    1. Ask your realtor. In my area this choice would negatively impact resale value.

Comments are closed.