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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Twist Waist Pencil Skirt

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This twist waist pencil skirt is a peppy shade of red, and I really like the twist detail at the top — it looks flattering but a lot easier than some of the other self-belts and twist details on skirts. The skirt is fully lined, machine washable, and has a back zip — and it's $98 at Ann Taylor in regular and petite sizes 00-18. Twist Waist Pencil Skirt A plus-size option is at Loft (also available in regular sizes) for $59.50.  This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

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360 Comments

  1. Does anyone else feel troubled about the gulf between their workday style and their weekend style?

    On the weekends, I’m something of a hypebeast–dad sneakers, bike shorts, Gucci belt bags all the way. On the weekdays, though, I tend to dress like the Joules catalogue exploded on me. For some reason I find this slightly troubling. Who even am I? Anyone else suffer a fashion identity crisis like this?

    1. Unless it’s anything-goes where you work, perhaps that is always the case? Workwear is a costume of sorts, the way I see it. I’m playing a role. I need to look the part. If I were Arya Stark, I would wear one thing. If I were Cersei Lannister, I’d wear something else (but with a better haircut!) and always have a wine goblet handy.

      When I’m not at work, sometimes I need to look a part for some sort of community activity, but usually I don’t.

      If all the world’s a stage, it makes sense to have the right costume for the role :)

      3. Cersei’s hair the last few seasons drives me nuts! There are cuter short hair styles out there and they said nah

        1. Not to get all film-studenty on you, but I read Cersei’s terrible haircut as sort of an F you to her haters. Like, yeah, you shaved my head, and called me a wh*re, and threw mud at me, and made me walk naked through the streets, but I’m not backing down and I’m no pretty little princess with long flowing locks. Also, it signaled her change from Queen consort to QUEEN. It was her all-business haircut.

          I honestly don’t know what I’m going to do now that GOT is ending.

        2. And it’s from Season 1, so not a spoiler, but Ed Stark *knew* that Cersei’s kids weren’t Robert’s b/c they were blond and not brunette, like Robert’s genes were ultra dominant over any light colored genes lurking about.

          I write as a brunette with a blond sibling who had a blond kid with a fellow brunette. Other kid’s hair is . . . in the very, very light brown family (mine is a Jennifer Garner brown), so only a true blond if bleach is involved.

      4. Anon is so eloquent! I agree! I dress 2 different ways; one for work and 1 for weekend. Work is formal, meaning nice dresses or skirts with white or red blouse, 4″ heels and hair styled. Weekends are strictly casual, with me wearing jeans and blouse or even a nice tee shirt with Nike Airs. I know this is not what men are looking for, but with me dressing up 5x a week, so what if I look causal on the weekend? I also do not dress up when I visit Mom&Dad, which gets dad mad b/c he wants to show me off to his freinds, but how impressive is a 38 year old in old jeans and a tee shirt? But I do not care b/c all the men he tries for me to marry are either schlubby or phonies that just want me to take my top off and have s-x with them. FOOEY!

    2. I kind of do. I’m very elegant and minimalist at work- neutral colors, nothing remotely interesting or flashy. Weekends are still relatively simple and minimalist, but I wear a fair bit of leather and just have more of a rough around the edges/biker chick vibe. I feel like everything I do during the week is about functionality and getting as much done as possible, so I don’t pay attention a ton to things like what kind of style I have. I do notice it on casual fridays or if I run into work people on the weekends, they always comment, and favorably :) I kind of like having a stealth alter ego.

    3. At work I am in a blouse/pencil skirt half the time and in a structured dress the other half. My hair is perfect whether it is curly or pulled back, my makeup is flawless.
      On weekends, I look like an angry 17 year old living in leggings and oversized hoodies… I never wear makeup, and I sometimes go with two afropuffs like minnie mouse . You’d never think I ever set foot in an office building

      1. omg I love this. also OP, love that you’re a hypebeast. keep rocking it women. we contain multitudes.

      2. I love this! I went to my colonoscopy in leggings and my oversized that says “Comfy as F*ck” and the nurses were loving it. It kind of summarizes my off-work vibe.

        1. Is that from Buy Me Brunch? I have it too and it is the most comfortable sweatshirt I have ever owned.

          1. Yes, it is! I bought one for me and one for my best friend. I always tell people that it is as advertised. It’s now a few sizes too big for me, but I still wear it.

      4. +1 I tend to wear very polished classic looks for work and just exist in whatever on the weekends

    5. I wish my work wardrobe and weekend wardrobe differed more!!! My style is fairly classic and boring and I want to amp it up and be edgier on the weekends, but have no idea where to start!

      Why do you think it is bothering you?

      1. + 1

        I usually end up wearing a more casual work sweater/top with skinny jeans on the weekend. I’m getting bored.

      2. I don’t know why I’m bothered, and I’m bothered that it bothers me! Maybe it’s because I view style as an expression of who I am, at least to some degree. But if my styles diverge so wildly, what does that say about my understanding of self??

        It’s annoyingly metaphysical.

        1. I think it says you understand that work requires a certain part of yourself and thw weekends allow you to exercise the other!!

      3. Same! I end up resorting to some work top over jeans, for the lack of other options. My closet is 95% work appropriate clothing.

    6. Contrary to what the fashion bloggers would have you believe, workwear isn’t always the truest expression of our personal style. Nor can it be in every case, particularly if your “true style” is anything other than classic. Once I started thinking of my workwear as a uniform, I was much less bothered by some of the inconsistencies between work and weekend wear. And I’m a pretty classic (read: boring) dresser to begin with, so I imagine there is an even greater contrast for people who have a more unique personal style.

      (I remember getting into one heck of an argument on YLF about workwear not always being an expression of personal style and why that’s OK. That was the beginning of the end for me!)

      1. I find the forums on YLF hilarious. Many of the women look terrible/frumpy in the clothes they post and yet everyone says how great they look. Not a place to get an objective opinion, imo.

        I also find the constant fawning over Angie really tiresome. She has a unique look and does look great in many of her outfits but according to this group she can do no wrong.

        1. Yes – they all wear “frocks” because that’s what Angie, who is Dutch, calls dresses. They are such wannabes.

          And for the record I really think Angie is wonderful, if not quite my personal style. But her acolytes… ugh.

          Just for fun, try disagreeing with one of Angie’s suggestions on the forum. Those b1tches will cut you.

      2. I am kind of the total opposite – I spend the majority of my life at work and have no interest in spending that time wearing clothes that I find boring or not “me”. My office is conducive to that (since I spend a lot of days just sitting in my office and writing reports) and I am also both old enough and senior enough to not give a lot of fecks so I wear what I like. Even for discoveries (depositions) and mediations I have interesting suits and do not shy away from lace or ruffles or colour or, my weakness, statement shoes. Even under my Court robes I have a skirt with a pleated hem and often fishnets. Weekends? I could not care less. But that’s me.

        1. I think this is part of why I struggle with this issue. When I am doing work, I feel the most like me. I feel like I am engaging in my fullest expression of self. I feel very much at home in my office. (Not saying that this is functional for life–it’s just a fact.) But I dress like…not me. Or maybe that IS me. Maybe weekend apparel is not me.

          All this to say, I waste a lot of brain energy thinking about this issue and it’s largely inconsequential.

          1. I am a hot mess outside of work (work FT, have kids, never enough time).

            All these work, IMO:
            leopard Snuggie, socks, crocks
            All Athleta, all the time
            free-shirt-with-words; yoga pants
            black sweater; denim
            dress; any footwear

      3. +1, so well said. Business attire has such a narrow range of options that excitement can be a bow on a pump. I have a functional work wardrobe but if I ever tried to Marie Kondo it, nothing would survive except some silk tops.

    7. Why is this a problem? You like following trends and having a lot of look. You interpret that in ways that are appropriate for your circumstances.

    8. Weekend wear is why I engaged a personal shopper at trunk club. I kind of had the work thing down but on the weekend I was either wearing hand-me-downs from my work closet (things that had become too shabby to wear to work) or basically sweats. They set me up with two jeans looks for the weekend that I could mix and match and I’ve expanded on that a bit, but overall I feel much more put together on weekends.

      And I had to look up both hypebeast and Joules.

      2. Good idea, I’m going to do this. I did something similar about 5 years ago with a Nordstrom stylist and she directed me to three great pairs of jeans which I continue to wear today.

    9. Not troubled really, but for me the work week is when I’m most likely to be fashionable or trendy (casual workplace where style is appreciated) and weekends is when I turn a bit more granola meets athleisure.

    10. get a job at a start up and wear dad sneakers to work ;) bike shorts are a little too much but i can pretty much do a relaxed hypebeast at work and if anything it just gets me admiration in the office bc it’s a young stylish work environment. if you work in a conservative workplace/industry there’s not much you can do! if you have to put on a uniform so be it. maybe this is a reflection that you’re craving a more relaxed work environment in general?

      1. Dad sneakers and mom jeans. I have a teenager and I’m amazed at some of the things she thinks are cool.

    11. I actually really enjoy having two separate wardrobes because then everything I have for weekend wear I truly love, I don’t try to make my work wardrobe “mix” with my weekend wear. One problem I’ve been having is feeling like all my weekend wear is too short – dresses that hit me mid thigh feel so revealing after living in knee length pencil skirts all week

      1. I enjoy having two separate wardrobes too. I never wear work clothes on the weekend because I like to completely forget about work and separate myself from it. I also put away my work bag, water bottle, etc on the weekends so I don’t have to see them and remember that work is looming. My weekend is style is leggings until it’s warm enough to wear denim shorts or dresses.

    12. Yeah–I used to be all buttoned-up biglaw. Now I work at a tech company. Today I have jcrew leopard and silver sneakers on with jeans and a Boden breton with a rainbow thunderbolt down the middle. Living my best life after way too many years of business formal or close to that!

  2. Love this color, but does anyone else see it as orange? Either way, putting it on my list to track for the next AT sale.

    2. Eh – I could see people calling it either (red or orange) and being right. One of those weird color perception things.

    3. I have a dress this color that I’ve always considered orange. However, everyone who has commented on it has described it as red.

    4. I could call it either orange or red. Instead, I choose to refer to this shade as Poppy, avoiding the decision altogether. :)

    6. It’s beautiful but it’s one of those pieces where the rest of the outfit has to be very plain and let the skirt be the star

      And don’t wear it with black!

  3. Has anyone ever had a kid who passes his hearing test but says what? after everything you say? This is such a weird question, and I haven’t had any luck Googling it, but it is driving my husband and me crazy. Any suggestions? If it’s annoying us, it has to be annoying other people, so we really need to get him out of the habit (if that’s what it is).

    2. I have an adult friend like this. In general it is because they weren’t paying attention when you were talking to them, and therefore weren’t able to process what you said. I’m wondering if its not he can’t hear you, but that he wasn’t paying attention so missed completely what you were saying.

      In friends case there is also some underlying ADD esque issues.

    3. If it is indeed a habit and not a hearing problem, perhaps try reacting in a different way. Rather than repeat yourself for him, ask him what he thinks he heard.

      1. Or get him out of the “what” habit and into “sorry, I didn’t hear you” or “pardon” or “excuse me” or “can you please repeat that?” or any of the other sayings my grandparents imposed on us…. they have been helpful when I’m not around my family…

    4. YES.

      My son is 8 now, and it seemed to peak a year or so ago. Hearing is fine. I think there’s just a whole Avengers-level action scene playing in his head all the time, so he has trouble discerning my voice amongst all of the other (imaginary) ones.

      2. LOL! This is hilarious.

        Not trying to diagnose over the internet, but does he have any other ADD-type signs? If not, I wouldn’t worry too much about the constant “what?!”

      3. Same here. My son just turned 8 and it seemed to peak for him about a year ago. I had to make physical contact with him to get him to focus on what I was saying. (Not in a mean way, just a hand on his shoulder.)

      4. Yep, 8 year old son and this is what is going on. He is completely in his head thinking about topic du jour or sometimes reading with deep focus. Many times he won’t even say “what?” until I repeat his name like 3 times. Physical contact helps. I sometimes go full-on cuddling and kissing to get a quicker reaction.

    5. Not this, but I had a panic once over not being sure if my kid could see out of one eye (she could clearly see, but something about one eye just seemed to be off, like it didn’t really track and I didn’t know that both eyes worked). Some kids have funny eyes sometimes and you may need to patch one to let the other catch up and get stronger (or you could eventually become blind in that eye) and it would up being OK. I bet ears can have some issues that make them sub-optimal (so you don’t fail the hearing test, but you may be such a low pass that there could be an issue it would be good to know about).

      FWIW, one of my kids passed her autism screening, but with such a low passing score (and with some behaviors that were notable and concerning) that we did a more in-depth analysis that confirmed that she is pretty high-functioning but has some limits from ASD-1, so I’m glad we did that.

    6. Ahhh I totally do this myself. It’s when I’m focusing on something else – I register that the person is talking to me but my brain is full of the task at hand. So “what” means “hey I’m acknowledging you just said something to me but I was in the zone, can you please repeat.”

      1. “What?” is rude. You’re an adult, do better. “Pardon me” is traditional or “sorry, could you repeat that?”

          2. In Cincinnati, we say “please?” which sounds so polite but is actually confusing.

    7. You’ve gotten a lot of good answers. It could be regular distraction. It could be ADHD. It could be auditory processing disorder (where it takes him longer to process what you say and he is buying time by saying “what”) or other auditory sensitivities, where he’s listening to background noises that are loud for him but not there for you. It could also be glue ear — fluid trapped in the middle ear that comes and goes but can screw with your sense of balance and your hearing. How old is your child?

      1. Oh, wow, I wonder if I have a touch of auditory processing disorder – I often say what and a second later fully grasp what someone has said and respond to their question before they repeat it, lol.

        Also, I always pass the hearing tests with flying colors but have a really hard time hearing if there is ambient noise around, and sometimes it is me really focusing on someone’s lips as they are talking instead of actually hearing what they day. I’ve also added closed caption on my TV, which helps me follow along with shows better – for some reason the music is always way too loud and the speaking is way too soft. My mom has been very hard of hearing for a long time, so I just assume that I will be too, at a pretty young age and will have no problem getting hearing aids when I need them.

    8. This is me! I have perfect hearing on tests but I have a lot of trouble with conversations. I have trouble making sense of words with a lot of background noise and sometimes I almost have like a delay on hearing then understanding. Sometimes after I say “what” I realize what someone said. I feel like I am always saying “what,” “pardon?” Ughh I’m so annoying.

      1. Yes, auditory processing disorder; I was diagnosed as an adult. When I’m unsure what someone said, I repeat back what I think I heard from the first or last half of the sentence, like “you said we are meeting at what time?” or “You want me to do what after work?” Background noise is hard, loud restaurants, the cafe at work, ETC. An FM system can be helpful.

    9. I consistently pass my hearing tests and I can tell you that I have terrible hearing. Rather than say “what”, I usually just guess at what people say, which drives my husband just as crazy :)
      It’s not an attention thing with me, it’s definitely a hearing trouble but the tests never seem to pick up a problem. I don’t know what to say… I find that watching the person speaking (a sort of subconscious lip-reading, probably) helps, and it helps when people speak slowly.

      1. This is me too! I have taken countless hearing tests that all come back fine and can tell you for sure that I can’t hear all that well. When we had our kid, DH had to become the defacto ad-hoc-comforter because I didn’t hear her crying unless she was full on screaming. I NEVER hear the knock when food gets delivered (we disabled our bell because dog has selective hearing too) but husband is always on top of it. I’m also a pretty good lip reader – I find it difficult to have a conversation in any remotely noisy place without staring at the other person’s mouth.

    10. I say “What?” after every single thing my husband says, and he constantly tells me to get my hearing checked. My hearing is fine–he just has an Eddie Vedder-like inability to actually open his mouth far enough to pronounce words correctly.

      So, does your child do this to anyone outside your household? Maybe you mumble.

    11. My husband does this. He says it is a combination of not hearing my voice very well if I am not close to him and not completely paying attention–not in a dismissive way, but he gets hyperfocused on whatever he is doing and doesn’t register other things immediately. It is really annoying to me, but I have learned to tap him on the hand to get his attention first or to make sure he is looking at me. I also just repeat everything all the time haha. I know he doesn’t do it on purpose, but it is really frustrating and I try to be understanding.

    12. My mom talked to me from the other end of the house, and I was expected to come running (usually climbing off of a bunkbed) and stand nearby while I politely asked, “what?” It probably started about the age your son is, but when I still did it out of habit as a boomerang millennial adult, it became pretty funny.
      I guess I’m just adding to the chorus of people suggesting you teach him to rephrase–but it’s also about attitude and body language, not just the substituting the word “pardon” for “what”.

    13. My son does the same thing. He does have ADHD, although I’m sure there are plenty of other possible explanations. At any rate, what’s been most helpful for us is to make sure we start with his name when we want to talk to him. I’m only a little embarrassed to admit that I started doing this regularly after our dog trainer stressed the important of starting with the dog’s name so she knows we’re talking to her and we have her attention – turns out it works on kids too! For my son it’s mostly a matter of getting his attention before you talk to him.
      I’m fascinated by the auditory processing discussion above, as I also frequently say “what” and at the same time figure out what was said.

    14. I remember reading an article about this a few years back. It’s a processing thing that a lot of people do, where they ask what because their brain hasn’t processed what was said. I used to do this a lot but have been working actively to pause before saying what because like 95% of the time if I pause before asking I realize I actually did hear what they said. So maybe try to not repeat and ask him to think for a minute and then ask if he really does need something repeated.

    15. My kid would lie a lot at one stage. Saying “What” gave him more time to think of a fake answer.

    16. Try saying his name, waiting for him to respond, and then asking him the question. If I am immersed in something, I literally can’t hear what people are saying to me because my brain is focused on other things. But if people get my attention before they start talking at me, I can switch gears. And no ADD issues – I just get really focused on working/reading/whatever.

  4. It seems that local breweries are everywhere now. And now some cideries. Never mind wineries where you can buy at the winery.

    And then there are the maze of ABC stores (for spirits), how in PA you have to buy a case of beer at a beer store but can buy a 6-pack at a bar, some states you can get beer/wine at a CVS store.

    And my state has periodic fights over how much beer a successful brewery can sell before they apparently need to sign over all marketing / pricing decisions to a third party (beer re-sellers), but that seems to be just for beer (or the beer people are hitting the ceiling more than wineries).

    This all seems to be so . . . byzantine? Soviet? Weird beyond weird (I get that the states are the laboratories of democracy, but this is nutso).

    I know that there are a lot of lawyers on this board and we think of the US as an economically free country, but can anyone explain? And are there other wackadoodle things the US or various states is nutty about? [I’m used to other countries where there is straight-out corruption: you can sell your product, but first you need to hire my nephew and he needs to make a lot of $$$.]

    1. as someone who has lived in Montgomery County Maryland, as well as Massachusetts, I share your consternation as to liquor/alcohol laws and regs. they’re arcane at best.

        1. Oh my god, North Carolina! How has no state senator ever taken up the mantle to get of membership requirements are bars? It seems like that would be SUCH an easy win. Who would argue against it?

      2. I moved from CA (a liquor free for all) to Mo Co where you literally can’t buy a decent bottle of wine… anywhere, so totally feel you. We go over to DC every once in a while to get alcohol.

    2. Alcohol laws are really, really dumb and byzantine. For a trip down WTF lane, look at the different way Virginia treats wineries and craft breweries (which are both pretty big industry down here) from craft distilleries.

      I think it’s all a legacy of puritanism/blue laws/temperance/our country’s general mistrust for fun.

      1. +1 Repeal of Prohibition is what (I think?) made this weird as$ patchwork of laws. When the Feds repealed the Amendment, they took the federal gov’t out of the game of regulating alcohol sales and then the states picked it up and then local temperance movements (or not) took over.

        We just started being able to buy alcohol from a liquor store on Sundays last year (instead of driving over the border into Wisconsin). But you still have to go to a liquor store for the good stuff – the grocery store only has 3.2 beer? And we might be the last state that has 3.2 beer?

        1. Also in MN – we are now 1 of 2: Utah also has 3.2 beer, as Oklahoma, Kansas and Colorado recently changed their laws, and along with that demand has severely declined and major beer manufacturers are considering no longer producing 3.2.

          The liquor wholesalers have a tremendous lobby here. The passage of the “Surly bill” several years ago blew down the road blocks of expensive licensing and other serving prohibitions that were limiting brewpubs and tap room growler sales, and we’ve seen an explosion of breweries, cideries, and distilleries. Many individual politicians agree with changing the byzantine laws but are afraid to stick their neck out on an issue that they believe can easily be used against them by opponents and their constituents. “I spent my session fighting for liquor laws instead of healthcare” doesn’t play well. I’ve heard from politicians that they’ve said “we’ve gotten you this much with

          Currently, issues that are downright silly here include: a brewery producing over 20,000 barrels a year cannot sell growlers or “off-sale” from their tap room. So for example, Schell’s Brewery, the 2nd oldest family owned brewery in America after Yuengling, can’t sell bottles of their barrel aged sours at the taproom they have specifically dedicated to those small-batch sours, and you can’t get Also, and individual wishing to purchase wine direct from a producer is limited to purchasing 2 cases of wine per calendar year directly from a single winery. Because the wholesalers are losing out big on their cut of my wine club membership. Yes, you can get around this by having it shipped to your family member or your work, but it’s a silly rule and the 2nd most restrictive in the US. Also as stated, you cannot buy any liquor, wine or “strong beer” in the grocery store in this state.

          1. Oops, didn’t finish some sentences = dangers of tuning in and out of a conference call I’m not really involved in. The politicians I know feel they’ve gotten things this far on the free market/local economic opportunities argument and don’t have a burning desire to launch a crusade against the distributor-wholesaler lobby.

            Also interesting in this realm – look up the strategy of Total Wine for breaking into a market, undercutting prices and taking a loss on popular brands to create hype and their insane markups on anything they sell that’s “winery direct”, which to me is code for hard to trace the provenance of.

        2. I also live somewhere (Utah) where you can only buy 3.2 beer at the grocery store. If you want a good laugh about strange liquor laws, look up the “Zion Curtain” law in Utah.

    3. Canada also has similarly random laws that vary by province so in some places you can buy beer at any gas station and in other places, only at a place literally called ‘the beer store’.

      Europe seems a little less cray cray with the random laws, not sure about Asia/Africa/South America etc.

      1. I’m in Scotland where you can only buy alcohol for off-premises consumption (I.e. not at a bar or restaurant) between 10am and 10pm. On the other hand our supermarkets tend to be open the same hours on Sunday as the rest of the week (excluding some of the Western Isles where everything shuts on Sunday)

        In England you can buy alcohol any time the supermarket is open – but they’re only allowed to be open for six hours on a Sunday.

    4. Arre there any Oberlin alums here? Not sure if this is still true, but when I attended the school was in a dry county where you could only buy wine and beer at bars, I think, but there was some kind of exception for the Oberlin Inn. I don’t drink so may be messing up the details.

      1. I grew up outside Cincinnati, and our township was completely dry until 2009. Now it’s “damp” – package sales of beer and wine are okay, but a business has to get on a ballot and residents vote on whether they can start selling. But in Ohio (in non-dry townships) you can sell chilled beer at a gas station, which you can’t do in Indiana where I currently live. *shrug*

        1. This is fascinating! I had no idea our country was so interesting this way.

          FWIW, I grew up in NJ, which is Satan’s living room. Except re alcohol, where you have to go to a packaged-goods store (packaged= code for booze, nothing else was ever sold there). Then I went to college in VA, which my NJ friends ridiculed as the Bible Belt (not in college towns, at least). I walked into a drug store and they had a huge beer display and realized that this Bible Belt thing and I would get along just fine.

          And to Pennsylvania: I do not need a case of beer at a time. Usually just a six-pack. Do you want to encourage me to drink more than I want???

      3. Yes, the Oberlin Inn had mixed drinks for like $3 when I was there (late 80s). There was a liquor store on the border of the next town. Oberlin’s early history had a lot of fire and brimstone!

    5. And then we have NH that has their state run liquor stores at rest stops on the highway but you can get beer and wine at the grocery store or a pharmacy.

    6. My state (NC) has some particularly ridiculous alcohol laws. My favorite bizarre rule–no happy hours. You can have drink specials by day, but can’t have a reduced priced for a period of time less than a day. Other oddities: if your bar’s business is less than 30% food (by total receipts), you are by definition a “private club,” which leads to the bars charging a $1 “membership fee.” We’ve got the aforementioned brewery distribution restrictions, state-controlled ABC stores, etc. It’s so bizarre to me. We did finally legalize sells of alcohol before noon on Sunday (but only if the county votes to allow it. I think we also still have one entirely dry county). Best I can tell, these weird rules are some combination of holdovers from Prohibition/blue laws and special interests that have fought for various provisions (the distribution laws, I think).

      1. And western NC in particular is especially known for its beers! (And moonshine, but that is a different story…)

      2. Yes! I commented above about how irritating the membership fee is and how baffling it is that no one has bothered that change it. Also, no happy hour?! SO. WEIRD.

    7. I think that car dealers are similarly bizzaro. I think if you google Tesla dealership New Jersey it will pull up some things — a car manufacturer can’t own a dealership. Like beer, you have to sell through a distributor.

      I guess beer distributors and car dealers have good lobbyists???

      But Frito-Lay can stock shelves in a grocery store.

      I lived in a city once that was debating and maybe passed a slightly different version of a law a that everyone in a lot of professions needed a business license, to the point where if you wanted to write novels, you might have needed a license for that (and maybe also zoning for the apartment you worked out of)? It was something that was maybe a cash grab for license fees but was really, really not well thought out and likely unworkable. [OTOH, I work from home a lot of evenings in a state where I am not licensed for my profession (but I am licensed in the state my office is in). Maybe some day they’ll come for me?]

      1. +1 – The beer distributors are a VERY well-organized and powerful lobby.

        Also, for state liquor stores, it’s such a money maker for the state that they can’t figure out how to get out of the sales business and keep revenues up. So they keep selling (see, recent failed moves towards this in either VA/Montgomery County MD)

    8. I’m a member of Chili’s because I used to live in a dry county that made exceptions for private clubs (and had a terrible restaurant selection). One of my greatest regrets is losing that membership card in a move.

    9. in PA a lot of the reason behind it is that state liquor stores are good union jobs. this is especially important in a state that was pretty devastated by deindustrialization – as much as I would enjoy the convenience of non state monitored liquor stores I would rather those jobs stay and be slightly inconvenienced. There are definitely improvements that could be made without getting rid of well paying jobs.

    10. As a Tennessean, who literally just got wine in grocery stores in the last 6 years, I’ll say that the differences seem not to be driven so much by morals or churches, but rather a strong liquor lobby and protectionist efforts for different categories.

      1. But you know, I think they fall back on the morality thing to pass and keep those laws, whether the booze sellers are behind it or not.

        1. I mean, you’re right. I think that’s how the spin it or sell it to the populace in TN, but I don’t think any of those legislators actually believe it. It’s all money.

    11. I’m a Californian. I’m always amazed at how hard it is to get any kind of drink in other states. My sister who lived in the south for many years now was in something of a state of shock when we were in a grocery store here in CA and there were two aisles of wine and beer, and hard liquor in the next aisle.

      1. I moved from CA to MA after college. When people talked about going to the “package store” I thought they meant UPS or Kinko’s, and I was puzzled when Trader Joe’s roped off the wine section on Sundays.

        1. This was me last year on my first MA trip outside of Boston – text to a Boston friend: “please explain why Google Maps is taking me to a package store when I type in ‘liquor store'”. Response: “first of all, it’s a ‘paaaackie’ and you’ve got to say it right, second…”.

    12. I can’t remember exactly why, but I was reading about laws about distribution of beer by craft breweries, and tied house laws (give ‘er a google for a fun little rabbit hole!) in CA and my ‘favorite’ part was these incredibly specific exceptions that were written to read as though they were general. “You can’t do this, unless you’re a sporting stadium in the County of Whatever seating more than X but no more than Y….” like just name the stadium already.

  5. Just wanted to give a shout out to the poster who pointed out the Liz Claiborne blazer, pencil skirt and ankle pants on sale at JC Penney’s last week. I don’t think JCP has been on my radar, but I ended up ordering the above combo in the black geo and adding another blazer in white for less than $100 total. I had it all shipped to my local store and picked it up yesterday. I was really pleased, especially for the price. I’ve recently gone from a size 18/20 to a 10 and have been looking for affordable suiting that would see me through the gap until I get to my ultimate goal. Thanks, OP!

    1. That’s an impressive weight loss. I am coming off of a chronic illness that has impaired my breathing so I can’t really exercise. And I’ve been so miserable that I truly have enjoyed the comfort of food (to the tune of 2 sizes, which is not a huge deal, but something that must make an effort to undo). What has worked for you?

      1. Not the OP, but I was seriously stress eating and drinking last spring and was miserable and felt unhealthy. I used Myfitnesspal to track calories (although a friend uses it for macros, very successfully) and changed up my exercise. I have gone from a 16/18 to a 6 (and sometimes a 4) since early June of 2018.

      2. I have Hashimotos (hypothyroid) and was insulin resistant and basically nothing worked for me until I started intermittent fasting. I’d done calorie/point counting before and could lose about 10 lbs before hitting a plateau. Something about IF worked for me, and it’s been relatively easy. Most days I fast between 16-24 hours and have either one or two meals depending on the length of my fast. Calories are between 1400-1800 and I eat mostly low carb/higher fat (most fat is from avocado, nuts, nut butter, etc). This works for me when nothing else has. I’ve done low carb before and it didn’t work without the fasting. YMMV but if you’re interested take a look at The Obesity Cody by Jason Fung. Another great resource is Gin Stephens, Delay, Don’t Deny.

        1. Oh, and wanted to add that my weight loss has been about a year in the making. Started IF in August 2018. My primary workouts for most of this time have been limited to yoga/walking but added in HIIT 3 x a week over the winter.

    2. Another person who ordered! I’m on a downward trend in weight and got the black geometric as well.

    3. I ordered as well and am picking them up today! Maybe I’ll have to add some more pieces to my order..

      1. Highly recommend the same blazer in white, looks very fresh and crisp and will pair with lots of things for spring/summer.

    4. Any similar recs for full length pants? I just can’t pull off ankle pants, though I guess I could try them on again.

      1. Fun fact: I’m a petite and I bought the pants in a regular size and they are full length on me.

    5. That was me! So glad you had success with the pieces! I have loved all of mine so far.

  6. You guys, I just won my first pitch for a 5 month consulting project. I am very excited!
    The client is very nice and will let us set our team room 2 days before we come in.
    I am the project manager (my first time) but will also deliver 2 out of 3 workstreams as we are very understaffed, so any given time there will be max 2-3 people working there but client might pop-in to check on us or for a quick informal chat. I want to make it as practical and comfy as possible as I will be practically living there but I also don’t want to look like the office mum.
    So far I though of putting up wall calendars to track key meetings and vacations, a tea station (I have 9-12 teas per day), a snack station, maybe a poster, extra stationary.
    Anything else you would put in to make the 5 months not feel like you are stuck at a bare desk?

    1. Yay, you! We worked with a consulting firm on some major projects a couple summers ago and it was really helpful to track progress in increments/smaller chunks, and to have goals for those smaller chunks. That way, people feel like they’re moving along, even though the ultimate project end may be a ways away. Checking off those smaller things (on something that everyone can see) feels great! Maybe on stickable flipchart pages? Post celebratory things on the walls – goals, milestones, etc. Good luck!

    3. I would not do these things. Yes to calendar, not to a snack station. You’re in the UK- are you not allowed to leave the room and make tea in the office? If not, sure stick a kettle somewhere. But I’d focus on the job first, bring in things as you need them, and let your team members be adults and take care of themselves.

      1. Tea is for me, snacks are also for me as I have to eat every 2 hours. I’m not subsidizing other people’s consumption… need a pay raise for that.
        The station is not like the fancy setups in a hotel room (sadly), it’s just a selection of tea sachets and a mug to keep in the room, but I will still go to the kitchen to fill my mug :) we are not prisoners and it’s not a due diligence so we can talk to others etc.

        1. Gotcha. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t think someone should walk in and be like oh there’s the tea station, there’s the snacks station. Like, snacks in a desk drawer yes absolutely! A cute mug on your desk for sure!

    4. Congratulations!!

      Maybe a low maintenance plant that can filter the air? They always make a space feel less sterile to me.

    5. Keep it basic, you never know when something might happen and you just will not come back on Monday (e.g., sponsor is fired).

      Suggest keeping a whiteboard calendar for key dates/vacations, a whiteboard for actions, and print out of the project plan.

    1. Noticed that last week and looking for info didn’t come up with anything. Very curious about what happened.

      Although to be fair I wanted to know if they existed so I could tag them in an Insta post dragging a “25 Books that will blow your mind” list that included exactly one woman and zero POC.

    2. I assume it went dormant following the founder’s father’s legal woes… Sort of tough to bill yourself as a reputable source of career advancement strategies when your father is at the center of a major fraud scandal.

      1. Why? I am not my father; my father is not me. I am completely unfamiliar with these people, but holding an adult children responsible for the alleged fraud of their fathers strikes me as massively unfair. God knows I would not want to be held responsible for mine!

  8. Recommendations for how to get started with Peloton? If it helps, just coming off a c section. What classes would you recommend beginning with? Any tips? Thanks all!

    1. They have beginner classes (20 and 30 minutes). There are also low-impact classes for when you’ve exhausted the beginner classes. I never owned one, but the gym at my old firm had a Peloton… I still miss it.

      Also, I’ve never had a c section, but I would think the Peloton could hurt your abs…

      1. Don’t do any exercise beyond walking for the first six weeks after a c-section. You may feel healed but the internal sutures and stitches aren’t healed for a full year, and the first six weeks are critical to healing.

        1. +100. And also second the suggestion. To start with shorter beginner and low impact classes

          You’ll probably have a “sore butt” and feel like you need padded shorts but hold off for like 2 weeks it will probably solve itself

        2. I’m just over 8 weeks out! Totally agree, but thank you for the warning – don’t want to injure myself more!

    2. There’s a bit more core work in spinning/Peloton than you would guess. But, as long as you’re in the clear to work out, there shouldn’t be any problems. Try the beginning classes, but hide the leader board. Do the 5-min post-ride stretch. If this isn’t our first time spinning, dive into any class but go light on resistance/cadence until you’ve built up to it. The Arms and Intervals classes are some of my favorites to take but Power Zone training, when you’re ready, is the best. There’s a Peloton Law Moms group on Facebook too that I love.

  9. I’m trying to get into mealprep, but also trying to eat more healthily/lose a bit of weight so I’m looking for healthy recipes. However, everything I find that is healthy, is also dry (think rice, broccoli and chicken, but without a sauce) and I struggle to enjoy dry meals like this. I can’t seem to find many things that have a sauce-based component or something moist on the plate, but then also fit into the healthy-eating bracket. Any ideas?

    I’m thinking there must be some slow-cook/crockpot recipes that I could use here, but would also like to have some ideas that come together more quickly. Salads are not an option because of weird intolerances.

    1. If you like Indian food, there are so many bean recipes (chole, rajma, dal) that in a gravy that are healthy. You can have with rice or just eat it alone like a soup. If you have an instant pot it makes it all the more easier.

      Also look at heartier soups like lentil, minestrone, etc.

          1. These look delicious! What kind of chili powder do you use in the chana masala? I am assuming the one simply labeled “chili powder” that I use for Tex-Mex cooking does not have the right flavor.

    2. One of my favorite healthy meal preps is stuffed sweet potatoes. Bake a sweet potato and top with curry, chili, or BBQ pulled chicken.

      If green salads aren’t an option, how about quinoa, chicken, pasta, tuna, or salmon salad?

    3. Do you read Smitten Kichen? A lot of her recipes are either ‘healthy eating friendly’or easy to make that way (a lot also don’t, for sure!)- in general I think that subtracting either the meat or refined carbs makes that easier. I made her three bean chilli a couple of weeks ago and it came out to 387 cal/ serving, so I could have it by itself, or with sour cream, or rice, depending on the calorie situation that day.

      1. I was going to recommend her too. One of the reasons I like that blog is the home-made dressings.

    6. I will cook rice in chicken broth, or make spanish rice (rice, diced tomatoes, diced onions, and spices) for some extra flavor without a lot of added calories. Cooking veggies with a little bit of broth keeps it from being too dry. Adding salsa to top off a meal is an easy way to make it tastier. Chicken, I would avoid baking because I think it dries it out. Crockpot or stovetop works well and chicken broth is your friend! There are a few food bloggers who are “whole30” that I’ll follow even though I don’t do the whole diet, because they are all low carb recipes. No Crumbs Left is great, and I Heart Umami has great asian inspired recipes.

    7. There are so many things you can do to avoid dry food: Lemon juice, low-fat yogurt with herbs, a bit of hummus, a drizzle of olive oil, hot sauce, soy sauce or teriyaki sauce, a light tomato sauce, ginger-miso dressing, etc. Sure some might have a bit of fat but small amounts of fat are good for you.

      1. Yes, there are so many options out there! I love Cookie and Kate for stuff like this.

    8. Love and Lemons and Budget Bytes have a lot of healthy, flavor-packed options. Bonus that most are easy and many are quick.

    9. Not exactly what you asked, but I cook chicken breasts for the week in the slow cooker (when I have my $h!t together). Usually 4 chicken breasts, salt and pepper, and 1/4 cup water. 3-4 hours on high. The juices from the chicken make really tender, juicy meat. I cut them up for salads, make chicken salad for sandwiches, etc. And I don’t reheat chicken because I think it gives it a strange texture. So you might try preparing your chicken differently for these recipes?

    10. A curry recipe/outline to keep in your back pocket! (This could be made quicker with an instant pot btw)
      1. Heat a small amount of oil in a saucepan. Add dried ginger, roughly chopped onion, curry paste. Cook until fragrant and the onions soften.
      2. Dump few cups of canned coconut milk into the pot, along with diced sweet potatoes. Simmer until potatoes are fork tender.
      3. Add broccoli/mushrooms/carrots (I generally use a bag of whatever frozen veggies I have on hand). Simmer a few more minutes
      4. At this point, I might add a few cups of spinach, tofu, or cooked chicken to the pot.
      5. Serve with fresh cilantro and some rice!

    11. Healthy soups! By definition, they can’t be dry. Half baked harvest has thai peanut ramen that I’ve modified slightly (no ramen or honey, extra veggies and shrimp in place of them). Skinnytaste has a roasted poblano/black bean/chicken/pumpkin soup that I love (and you can skip the chicken if you want). Also Nom Nom Paleo – not all paleo. I don’t fully keep a paleo diet, but her recipes have an 80% success rate for me.

    12. https://pinchofyum.com/12-healthy-freezer-meals

      I will often use these recipes as the base for a big bowl of healthy goodness. I will add beans or a grain, roasted veggies and fresh herbs. I like to use the ragu, chicken tinga and tandoori chicken with rice and roasted sweet potatoes, I will add ground turkey or chicken to the detox lentil and sweet potato stew. The meatballs go great with lentil pasta or spaghetti squash.

    13. I’ll sometimes add a dollop of lowfat plain (Greek or regular) yogurt to a plate. Maybe season the yogurt, eg with curry, taco seasoning, dill, etc to fit your meal?

      1. Agree with the yogurt if you’re not dairy sensitive. Greek yogurt works a lot better here than regular yogurt. You can also add ranch seasoning spices to it – the little package or DIY. Ranch seasoning is basically dried onion, dried garlic, salt, and herbs. The packet may also have buttermilk powder (yum).

        1. Hummus is another good one. I actually like to do both – a Greek yogurt tzatziki and hummus will make everything much less dry, and yummy too.

    14. Thanks for all these ideas, you guys, will definitely be trying a number of them!

      1. I’m doing bowls for the same reasons you describe! A base of mushrooms, 1-2 other veggies, a couple tablespoons of some cheese (blue, cheddar), a couple T of some sauce (BBQ, peanut, ranch), and a protein (pre-prepared BBQ chicken, pulled pork, meatballs, leftover chicken fingers. . . ). <10 min to saute and assemble, and about 400 calories using mushrooms as the base.

    15. Budget Bytes and Pinch of Yum are my two go-tos for diet friendly meal prep. Tons of options and hardly even any bad ones. Budget Bytes has a section on how-to meal prep.

  11. Does anyone have a digital paper device for reading and annotating pdfs as well as taking notes? Which one would you recommend (or advise against)? I am thinking about reMarkable, Sony, or Boox – but am still at the very beginning of my research :).

    1. A colleague has a remarkable. It’s awesome, I’m jealous, and ordering one this weekend.

    2. Slightly outside what you asked, but I do this on my iPad Pro. I looked at ReMarkable, but I couldn’t get my arms around spending $500 for something that does a fraction of what I can do on an iPad Pro. I will say though that it does seem to be slightly better at doing the thing that it does (a paper-like experience), but I really like the interface of the iPad and the pencil.

  12. Y’all, talk to me about Wolf stoves.

    I am such a basic girl, but I live in a fancy ‘hood. Redoing kitchen. Wolf would not normal for the ‘hood (which has fancy houses for rich people and upgraded cap cods for us strivers). So we are in an older, getting-updated smaller (for the ‘hood — 3,000 sq ft).

    To me, a Wolf is very all-hat-no-cattle unless you really are a great, frequent cooker and performance matters. I can mentally justify it if it is actually much nicer to use and if we ever sold our house would make it go under contract in a hot minute (had one bad selling experience lasting from 2007-2009, ugh). FWIW, people in our ‘hood seem to routinely buy 900K houses as youngish 30-somethings and expect fancy things and I have no idea how their $ situation lets this happen b/c I am older, this is not my first house, and I am really, really good at financey things. I digress.

    Fancy people and strivers: how’d you rank a 48″ dual-fuel GE Cafe with two ovens vs a 36″ Wolf with just one oven?

    Me, I’m team need-two-ovens-and-can’t-justify-the-$-on-48″-Wolf. Spouse is happy with Wolf even it if it is just 36″ with one oven. [I can see the fancy buyers turning their noses up at GE Cafe, but I also think a lot of people would not care that much, but I can’t afford to revisit this decision once I make it b/c it affects cabinets, windows, etc. No backsies!]

    1. So the kitchen sells the house and given what you have described about your neighborhood, I think you should just go with the 36″ Wolf. That’s what the competition will have and it’s what later buyers will expect.

    2. snort. I think you nailed it with “all hat and no cattle”. But then, I’ve only ever seen them online, and heard my wealthy friends who don’t cook talk about theirs. So I’m no help, but you made me laugh :).

      1. OP here. I live in a land of lunacy — everyone has an up-a-baby and IDK how people young enough to be fertile make the math work for the house purchase (and still have $$$ left over for fancy things).

        I am a frequent cook but a family cook. I braise and roast meat when I have time. But a lot of time, I don’t have time, so it’s a quick brown and saute in a pan stovetop. But I do bake (banana bread!). All-in-all, I do the rich-person thing of buying expensive cuts of meat (filet) that I can cook easily (need the high temp of burner to get a good sear on my basic Lodge skillet) when I have $>time and try to be thrifty (braising chuck roast) when I do have time. I used to bake yeast bread; then I had kids. Now that kids are school-age, I like to think that we could do grownups in kitchen drinking wine in fancy room while kids bounce off walls in another room, but who knows?

        1. Sounds like you enjoy cooking. Pick the stove that you want to use. Unless the plan is to sell your house in the next 6 months (apologies if I missed that), make the choices that YOU want to live with. Design your house for you, not an imaginary buyer ten years from now.

    3. Go with the GE. I think many people who actually cook (me!) would rather have utility (two ovens) over labels.

      1. My rich aunt had two houses with Wolf’s (two in the current house). They all had issues and I hate cooking at her house and she hates the stovetops too. I have a gas burner GE which has zero issues. I really doubt someone is going to say no to a house because it’s not the fancy stove. If anything, they’ll be more likely to have watched way too much HGTV and want to switch out appliances.

    4. You still haven’t decided? You definitely have the 48″ hood, though, right? If so, then 48″ stove all the way.

    6. Omg the two oven poster again? Isn’t this like your fourth or fiftH post on this? Dude, make a decision. Quit posting here. You can do it.

      1. No — what was the consensus if there were prior ones? We’ve ruled out Thermador / Viking / anything else spendy with poor reviews from people we know. And Verona (36″ double oven as too unknown to risk a decision I hope to make once).

    7. As an avid home chef and baker who used to do home-design things, my personal preference would be a 36″ Wolf 6-burner cooktop and double electric wall ovens. Electric ovens maintain and circulate heat much better for baking.

      1. One thing that jumps out at me is that most stoves are 30″. That is a market that makes sense. Above that, I think the stove-makers assume that you cook like Julia Child and have the $ of someone in Greenwich. I am neither. And in a basic house or apartment and household <4 people, who cares? But when you get near 7-figures for a house, I think people expect that that is Greenwich-sort-of-money (too me) so I d*mn well better get a fancy stove.

        I just can't define fancy — it is Wolf (b/c people recognize the red knobs) or just something big and stainless?

        I would miss my 30" stove's broiler and can't believe that while you can get a broiler-sized second oven in a 30" stove no 36" stove seems to have that capacity. That, to me, says that no one cares about the basic family / household cook. Only the cooks with $$$.

    8. As a person who actually cooks, I’d prefer a 48″ range and 2 ovens to a 36″ range with one oven. Don’t get me wrong, you can cook plenty of great meals on a 36″ range with one oven, and I loved the one I had in our last house. But DH and I are looking to remodel our kitchen (currently have a 30″ cook top and one oven), and we’ll probably put in a 48″ range with 2 ovens. We’ll probably get a GE or similarly priced brand, but our neighborhood isn’t very fancy, and we’re not planning to sell until this kitchen needs another remodel.

      My MIL has a 48″ cook top, a wall oven, a wall microwave/convection oven, and a warming drawer. It’s pretty amazing.

    9. I have a Wolf and love it. We have not had any problems with it at all. We had some GE kitchen appliances that were installed at the same time as our Wolf but had to replace them because they broke down. I will never buy GE again for all the headaches they’ve caused.

      1. My husband has a Chevy and what I like is that you can get parts for them anywhere, and even if you break down in a tiny town, mechanics can fix them. Might Wolfs be too exotic to service easily? Or if you live where they common, it’s not a problem.

        My husband also had a BMW that had only 4-figure repair bills, which it had constantly. Could that also be an issue with a Wolf?

        1. Anon @ 12:34, yes it is an issue- mine hasn’t had any issues per se, but there is some weird fuzz btwn the 2 glass oven panels that looks gross (mine came with the house). I tried to get someone out to fix it and it would have required someone who know very specifically about wolf products.

    10. I have the GE Cafe induction range and love it. That being said, I do not live in a neighborhood where Wolf-level appliances are expected; our neighborhood has everything from GE Profile up to Miele/Viking- no one cares.s

    11. I have had 2 Wolf stoves (both the 36″) in two houses. I researched like crazy on the first house, decided on Wolf, then put Wolf in my current house. I was replacing a lower brand stove, so I didn’t have the option for wall stoves and the like (which I don’t feel like I even need). I love my Wolf so much. It is definitely NOT “all hat and no cattle” – it is a work horse of a stove and oven, and cooks so well. For about 15+ years of home ownership I have had the lower end stoves and the Wolf is such a better stove. I like to cook and bake, but I am not fancy. The gas stove top is so consistent and easy to regulate, and the oven cooks items accurately and correctly with plenty of room, unlike my other lower end stoves.

      However, the the one huge downside is it is not self-cleaning, and I find it very hard to clean. But this is not Wolf-specific; I think all the high end stoves are like that.

    12. I have a wolf (it came w/ my house), my parents got a high end GE recently… honestly, there’s works just as well as mine. If mine broke down and I had to replace it, I would not pay to replace it w/ another wolf. Just my humble opinion.

  13. I need a new dishwasher. Has anyone bought one recently that they like and would recommend? (or conversely, bought one you hate?) I’d prefer one with a front instead of top control and don’t want/need any wifi-enabled features.

    1. Not Bosch! We got one based on recommendations here and DH and I both HAAAAAATE it! It’s been nothing but problems since we got it. Our old LG was not great, but was so much better than the Bosch.

      1. We are also less impressed than we had hoped to be with our Bosch. It is not designed to hold anything but plates and small drinking glasses, so bowls and lunch containers don’t fit well. It also gets stinky black slime around the door hinge, which has never happened with any other dishwasher we’ve owned.

        1. It’s way less spacious than our previous dishwasher – we load in a few plates and cups and it’s basically full. We have a family of 2 adults and one toddler who cook dinner at home 5-6 nights/week and eat most breakfast/lunches out and we run our dishwasher at least twice a day. I can’t imagine how much we’d have to run it if we were trying to do a lot of meal prep for lunches or if we had more kids.
          It doesn’t get things very clean. We have to do a lot more pre- and post-washing than we did with our old dishwasher.
          It has broken twice in the six months we’ve had it and we’ve had to pay $$$$ for a repairman to come to our house. Theoretically there’s a warranty, but they said the issue wasn’t covered by the warranty both times.
          We do have hard-ish water (we have a whole house water softener, but it’s not that effective) but the Bosch seems to be handling it much worse than our LG dishwasher did.
          It is VERY quiet, but we don’t really care about the sound, since we typically run the dishwasher when we’re at work or right after dinner.

      3. +1 to being disappointed in Bosch. It’s always breaking down and it doesn’t really work all that well even when it’s working.

      4. Also VERY disappointed in our Bosch. It doesn’t clean well and the soap dispenser door keeps getting stuck – neither thing was a problem with our last cheap Kitchenaid. The only thing I can say for Bosch is that it’s quiet – so quiet we can’t always tell when it mysteriously doesn’t start.

    3. My parents got a Samsung and said never again. That and the fridge they bought at the same time have been nothing but problems. My dad has to take out the dishwasher every six months or so to fix something or other.

      1. Just say no to Samsung appliances. Our house came with all Samsung appliances (purchased by the previous owners) and about half of them have issues, which upon Googling I have learned are common to those items. (Fridge and dishwasher so far okay; washer, dryer, microwave have problems.)

        1. We have Samsung appliances in our relatively new work kitchen. Their repair/support services are 100% terrible. We have features that are broken and we have decided just to live with it because none of us have the time or energy to deal with trying, again, to have it repaired.

    4. I can’t really give feedback on a dishwasher, but whatever you get, I encourage you to use the Finish tablets. The difference from what I have used before is noticeable.

      1. I love my KitchenAid. If quiet is very important for you, Miele is the way to go.

    6. Here’s what I posted last time this came up, and a bunch of people me-too’ed me:

      Kitchen Aid – because when the repairman came to visit our Whirlpool for the last time, after he had also visited our prior GE Cafe many times before it died, he told us that he is almost never called out to repair a Kitchen Aid. It’s been 3 or 4 years now and so far so good.

      1. My mom recently got one and I love it. My next dishwasher will have that third shelf too.

    7. We just moved and our new house has a Samsung dishwasher and we really love it. The organization on the baskets is so much better than our old Bosch, and the dishwasher can hold so much more. It’s also super quiet – even quieter than our old ~5 year old Bosch. It’s a new model, black stainless steel. Very sharp looking and really great so far.

    8. My MIL is downright evangelical about her miele dishwasher. We have a thermador one and it’s fine.

    9. Hate my KitchenAid. The slots are stupidly-spaced and nothing fits properly, the cycles take long enough that you might notice continental drift, and the drying options are “bake everything until it warps” or “let the door hang all the way open so there’s enough air circulation to fend off mildew stench”. Also, aesthetically, the awful red handle bling looks like cheap fast food branding.

    10. Our house came with all brand new Whirlpool appliances, now about 5 years old and we’ve had no problems with any of them. I don’t know how much they cost, and I don’t think they were especially high end, but they look nice enough and are energy/water efficient (this does mean the dish and clothes washer are slow, which doesn’t bother me) I’m fairly picky, but I really don’t have anything to complain about any of them!

    11. We got a screaming good deal on a floor model GE Monogram dishwasher a few years ago. I love that thing. It has lights! And a lot of adjustability in the tines, side jets, separate water jets for the utensils, 3rd drawer, cleanable filter, super quiet, tons of different options, etc. And it gets all but inverted mugs and tupperware lids completely dry. Now that it has spoiled me, I probably could justify paying full freight for it ($1400).

    12. I was probably the most recent person to ask the dishwasher Q (thanks to all who recommended brands!) and we ended up going with a GE model that so far we love. I would have loved to go with KitchenAid per the anecdote of Anon @ 12:02, but it just wasn’t in the budget.

    13. I don’t have a specific brand recommendation but whatever you do make sure it has the silverware basket in the bottom rack and not on the door. The silverware never seems to come clean in the door because the water doesn’t swirl around enough.

  14. Update! Well, my friend was absolutely right. The problem was Match, not me. I knew it, early on, but had paid for Match and figured I’d stick with it. The other night, I set up OK Cupid and I already have more interest and messages than I probably had in all 4 1/2 months on Match. A sweet guy started messaging me last night and messaged good morning already. I may have to put more time into it, but I already feel better. Whew! The only thing I’m wondering is if it’s worth it to do the pay version of OKC. Just learning how to navigate it so far.

    1. Try out free okcupid for a bit, the features you pay for have never seemed super important to me.

      1. It feels weird, on the free version, not to see who is liking me. I’d kind of like to use that as a way to see who I should look at further, since I don’t have a ton of time. I’ve gotten a lot of likes, but then it’s awkward because I can’t see them.

    3. The best site varies so much by city – it can make a HUGE difference. When I lived in Seattle, Match wasn’t great but OKC was awesome. Here in ATL eHarmony trends so conservative that when I tried to use it I got the “we don’t have anyone who meets your criteria” message and OKC is very casual hookup, but Match has been great. You really have to experiment IMO.

      1. strongly agree with this – experiment with lots of different apps/websites and find what works for you, don’t feel restricted by marketing/reputation (unless its direct experience of someone in your city).

      2. Yeah, that’s what my friend and I talked about. On Match, the only guys I matched with were way too conservative (Catholic and Republican) or way too hippy and nothing in between. I just ended up mostly ignoring it. It’s been a huge and refreshing change to get positive results already on OKC. A friend of mine is doing Bumble but she’s dating and sleeping with multiple guys and that’s not my jam. My friend who was advising me said that, at least here, Bumble is mostly hookup driven. There are guys on OKC who are just looking for s3x, but I can weed them out easily. I just couldn’t get my head wrapped around managing something new until the semester ended. I’m glad I waited because this will take more time.

        1. Interesting! In my area Bumble is not hookup driven and Tinder is 50/50 relationships / hookups. I met my SO on Bumble. I was dating multiple people when I met him. Don’t discount it, you can choose to use it differently than your friend. I also went on the League and went on 1 date from there. It was okay but I don’t think it’s really higher caliber of guys like they say, just fewer matches a day.

          1. Right now, I feel like OKC is working for me. I truly have had more relevant and interesting convos with guys in two days than I did in months on Match.

    4. I’ve used free OKC for years and always had good luck with it. Never felt the need to pay for it as I’ve had plenty of messages and connections. As long as you are regularly going through the “Double Take” suggestions you’ll quickly match with people who also liked you

      1. Yes, I’m learning! At first, I was baffled that I couldn’t see who liked me, but it’s getting easier.

  15. So the Alabama bill is law. Appears to have some health exceptions but no exceptions for crime. Hope people are saving up bus fare to get themselves to FL or whatever because we all know they won’t think — can I REALLY handle a baby every time I do it because it could happen even if the worst case scenario happens and this dude walks away. That would be WAY too responsible.

    2. So related to this — I know that for as long as I have been aware of the issues, there have been escorts to walk patients in and out of women’s health clinics to protect them from aggressive protesters. Is anyone aware of a slightly different service — People to transport and accompany women to the clinic and back? The patient is required to have a person present and a ride home, and it occurs to me that even without the need to travel across states, this can be difficult for some. Add the need to travel across state lines and this becomes a serious concern for a lot more people. I also imagine that liability related to this could be nuts, making it a difficult service to offer (for free or not), but it seems like a need is there.

      1. Just ask women who were around when abortions were illegal – many are still alive. I’m sure they had systems for getting women in need to doctors who would help.

        Here’s a story about it: https://www.cwluherstory.org/jane-abortion-service

        Shame we have to go back to this because too many people thought, Eh, Republicans are good for my paycheck and I will never need an abortion/they won’t really restrict or make abortion illegal.

        1. I assume she’s asking if there is an established group to volunteer with – no need to reinvent the wheel.

        2. Finding out where/how I can do that or if I need to consider starting the organization myself was the point of my post?

      3. I’ve not done much research, but I believe that transportation is one of the things that the Yellowhammer Fund is designed to support.

        1. +1. A number of state abortion funds provide funds for transit and ask for driving volunteers.

      4. Yes, I can’t find the name right now but there is a volunteer service where Chicagoans pick up women in Indiana, bring them to Chicago clinics, have them stay the night in the Chicagoan’s home, and then drives the woman home to Indiana the next day.

    3. Please sod off. If you don’t like abortions, don’t have one. You don’t get to choose what other women do and you sure as heck don’t get to judge the situations they’re in.

        1. It’s not about being in favor of abortions. It’s about choice and access to safe healthcare.

    5. Wouldn’t say it this way and I think Alabama goes way way too far, but I agree with the premise. A LOT of people do it with no thought to — what it thinks go wrong and baby results and husband/BF walks away — because in the back of their minds they know NBD get an abortion. Making access harder isn’t the worst thing in the world.

      1. So it’s not about the fetus at all, is it? You just want to punish women for having sex.

      2. I don’t think most women think of a (quite expensive) medical procedure that requires multiple appointments and, for many women, travel to another city, as NBD and thus I am highly skeptical that the thought process you describe actually exists.

      3. Also are you really suggesting that every woman who has s*x with her husband needs to be planning for the possibility that he is going to leave her?

      4. This viewpoint always ignores those of us who do not want children, ever. It isn’t a matter of finances or timing. There are many of us who are in responsible, adult relationships in which a pregnancy will NEVER be welcome.

      5. Literally no one think its NBD to get an abortion. There is literally no jurisdiction where it’s ‘easy’ to get an abortion.

        1. Ummm, please don’t assert that. There really are some of us that think it is no big deal. And I know many, many women who have had them and just moved on without ever thinking about it again.

          1. Right. I’m pretty sure the types of ladies posting here yesterday – one talking about how she was doing it with 4 guys and one was refusing to bag it – are the types who think casual occurrences are NBD and if something happens, NBD because abortions, plan b etc.

          2. You may think that it’s NBD in the moral sense, but it does require a substantial amount of funds, multiple medical appointments in many cases (or a single long one; I know in NYC you can do a medication abortion in one visit but it’s like 4 hours long), etc. So even if you live in the least-restrictive jurisdiction, it’s at least a few hundred dollars and a long doctor’s visit, which isn’t nothing. That’s why I think that the idea that there are all these people in the US who rely on abortion as their sole pregnancy prevention plan is silly; I’ve never known anyone who felt that way, even if they were morally untroubled by abortion.

          3. Thanks Cbackson for more eloquently explaining what I meant. Many jurisdictions require waiting periods which are a hassle regardless of income level and the procedure is costly for most women.

          4. Yeah, I live in a super liberal part of the United States (Boston) and even around here a lot of regular doctors don’t perform them. A friend had one in college and had to go to a special clinic, complete with protestors and everything (I went with her). It cost about $500 I think, which is a lot to most college students, and she spent about a week on the couch afterwards recovering physically. I know she has absolutely no regrets about her choice but I also know she wouldn’t describe it as “no big deal.” Heck, it was a big deal for me and I wasn’t the one getting the abortion. Just the cost/logistics/physical recovery is a big deal for most people, even if you take the emotional/moral elements out of it completely.

          5. Cbackson and others, I do apologize. I meant more the morality issue and did not even consider the money part. Here they are fully covered by provincial healthcare so there is no financial consideration but I should have considered that not to be the case for the vast majority of posters here. Privilege checked.

    6. WTF as a related point I would fully support castration for men who cause unwanted pregnancies

      1. Yep. Men can cause thousands of unwanted pregnancies in a single year if they want to, but it’s the woman who can carry one pregnancy a year max who’s the problem. Right.

    7. Feel free to gestate all the rape babies you want, OP. Just leave the rest of us alone.

      PS- you know this bill is unconstitutional, you know it will be challenged, and you know that Alabama tax payers will waste hundreds of thousands of dollars defending it instead of putting that money somewhere useful, like care for women and babies, or facilitating access to contraception.

      And then it will lose at SCOTUS.

      But hey, as long as you’ve gotten your rocks off by yelling at those s1utty s1uts to KeEp ThEiR LeGs CloSeD!!1, then Alabama’s done its duty by you.

      1. This one will lose in SCOTUS but you’re kidding if you don’t think abortion isn’t going to be rolled back overall.

    8. Meanwhile, Alabama has the fifth worst infant mortality in the US, so I’m sure you’re also supportive of increasing spending on public healthcare so those children make it past their first year, right? Because otherwise, what you care about is punishing women, not saving kids.

      1. The most recent statistics available are from 2017.
        Number of abortions performed in Alabama: 6,063
        Infant mortality: 435

        The former is fourteen times the later. Fourteen.

        It’s not wrong to eliminate 14/15ths of a problem before tackling the much smaller (numerically) part of the problem.

        1. Wow this is so incredibly offensive and screwed up. We both know that if you were in a burning fertility clinic and had the opportunity to save either a freezer containing 1,000 embryos or one five-year-old boy who got separated from his mother, you’d save the latter. Don’t even waste our time denying it.

        2. After the bill:
          Number of abortions performed in Alabama: 0
          Infant mortality: 480

          Good job Alabama, 45 more full term babies died on your watch. So much better, I agree!!

          1. * number of LEGAL abortions performed in Alabama: 0
            number of women harmed or dead from botched illegal abortions:???

    9. Pat Robertson came out against the Alabama bill. This is insane. It’s about being a tough lil’ pro-lifer, not trying to craft legislation that will (a) withstand Supreme Court review, and (b) holistically review the laws that treat an unborn child as not a person.

      For anything but first-degree r-pe, the r-pist will get less jail time than the abortionist.

      I’m pro-life and I hate this law.

      1. Why do you hate it? If you’re anti-abortion, this law is the natural extension of that political position. If abortion is morally wrong, literally murder, then there should be no exceptions. You should be okay with doctors going to prison and women getting persecuted and forced to gestate fetuses no matter what since murder is the most heinous crime there is. If you think there should be exceptions, then maybe you don’t think abortion is so wrong after all – just a little bit wrong? If it’s just a little bit wrong, why do you and people like you lobby so damn hard on this issue and no others?

        1. Because it’s about punishing women who have sex in ways that the anti-abortion folks don’t like. Ironic that the “punishment” is pregnancy and childbirth, which would argue that these people don’t think pregnancy is such a lovely miracle after all.

          If the “pro-lifers” also voted for candidates who supported expanded healthcare access, more money for education, basically for things to support existing children, I might believe it’s all about the “baby.” Along those lines, if life is so precious, why not support mandatory organ donation? Thousands of people die every year because dead people won’t give up their organs. Or mandatory bone marrow registration? Lots of people die each year, including many children, for lack of an appropriate bone marrow donor. And I’d argue that bone marrow donation is over much faster and is generally safer than pregnancy in many cases.

          It’s not about being “pro-life” at all. It’s about punishing women.

          1. I’m Anon at 12:23. I know all those things, but does Anon at 1:13? I believe yes (at some level).

  16. Has anyone else looked at the “Location History” feature in their Google Maps? I stumbled upon it last night and was kind of shocked at how detailed the tracking is! It literally knows exactly where I drove/walked/stayed/flew/took a train every minute of the day! Kind of creepy for normal life, but honestly also kind of cool for trips to remember where I’ve been. I turned it off now and will only turn it on when I travel.

    1. Yes. It is incredibly creepy but to be honest, it has actually been very useful on occasion to help me, say, remember where a friend lives, or what day I did a task.

    2. Thank you for the reminder to double check my Google settings. I had already turned off all the tracking and search saving that I could but it’s good to double check. That stuff creeps me out.

    3. I turned absolutely every location or tracking thing off for this reason. It’s incredibly creepy.

  17. Recommendations for lounge/pajama pants? They are for my 55 year old mom. She’s slim and likes a drawstring. Looking for plush/velvet type material. Bonus points if available at Nordstrom/Macy’s/mall stores; I’m hoping to pick up at the mall for her later today.

    1. Try the Jenni brand at Macy’s, if you can see them in person. The fabric content description is always wrong online.

    2. I was browsing in nordstrom recently and felt lots of soft nice things, I would head to their pajama section and buy based on feel!

    3. I’m 54 and recommend against plush/velvet because at my age and your mom’s, we get hot and then we get cold and then we get hot again.

      Also, warm jammies are going to be really hard to find now that all the stores have their spring/summer stuff in (apologies if you’re in the Southern Hemisphere but I think that is unlikely)

      If your mall has a Soma I would hit that and get her some cool nights sleepwear. It is so soft and luxurious and machine washable, I have replaces all my sleepwear with it. It’s also opening the front door appropriate as loungewear, though I personally would not head to Target in it. (Though, having been to Target, it appears there are plenty of people who would.)

      1. 100% recommend Soma, I have some health issues that cause my temp to fluctuate and the Soma Cool Nights are the best. I won’t wear anything else now

      2. Not sure you are still reading but thank you! Took your advice and got some modal fabric pants, thin and light but still very soft.

  18. I am looking for a edgier sandal, mule type shoe. Any cool ones that you’ve seen lately?

  19. Trying to find someone with an airline buddy pass they don’t use and would be willing to utilize to support an activist’s work to afford for travel to support more h@te crime victims, provide more education, etc. in situations where there is a request for this specific person’s expertise/presence but no funding. Does anyone have an idea or suggestion on how I might go about finding someone with such? I’m posting via social media to utilize my network and airlines say they don’t donate such. Would really love ideas/thoughts from folks here who might offer something I haven’t thought of in this process! If so, please share here or, if you prefer, email me: IAmAnEpicWarrior at the mail of g.

    3. Can’t you also ask people to donate airline miles to your cause? My 501c3 did that to fly in a speaker (domestically).

    4. I have an Alaska Airlines Companion Pass I might be willing to donate but I didn’t know that was something you could do.

      1. A buddy pass is typically an airline employee perk that allows standby travel for free or cheap. The employee doesn’t have to fly with the passholder. Companion tickets generally require the frequent flyer member to accompany the person traveling on the ticket/pass.

        OP, seeking donations of FF miles will probably be the easiest way to do this; airlines have a lot of restrictions on buddy pass travel and the person using it will never be able to confirm a seat, which means they may be at the airport a LONG time trying to get on a flight.

        1. Yes… but the airport waiting risks are more doable than the consistent high costs of flights and there’s a willingness to fly during off hours to minimize time in airports. This just seems like the best option rather than to solicit miles from people since this is a person, not a charity or a company… but the requests for miles is certainly something to consider too, as anything/everything helps… thanks!

          1. Some people/airlines also have a “companion pass,” in which one name is used on the pass for the entire year instead of buddy passes where individual passes are required for each trip. That’d be the holy grail but I figure buddy passes may be easier to acquire… though tips/contact that might have that would be wonderful too, if that clicks in someone’s mind as they’re thinking of whether they know anyone. THANKS!!

    5. This type of direct funding makes me nervous- often it’s very self directed w little accountability. Why does the activist not receive finding from a local community org?

      A group of us was burned when we gave my miles to a lawyer in CA when the immigrant caravans were detaining small children- we met her through a local individsible fb group. Said laywer flew to Texas and then proceeded to block a bunch of us after we wanted to hear about the outcome of her trip.

    6. Getting a buddy pass from someone you don’t know is going to be a challenge. The airline employee has to book the ticket for you, rebook when you inevitably get bumped, check flight loads, etc. Honestly, we don’t even give these out to our friends because it is such a pain. Any chance you can provide your services via Skype or Facetime?

  20. Someone in our office complex committed suicide this morning and I am completely horrified by how insensitive some of my coworkers are being about this. Discussing specifics of how they potentially did it, if they “reached terminal velocity” (I’m speechless that this was even brought up)…I’m horrified. Suicide is somewhat of a triggering subject for me, so I’m honestly considering seeing if I can just go home for the day, but if I can’t, any recommendations on how to deal? I’ve already asked my office mates to not talk about it but they are continuing.

    I’m so sad that someone found suicide to be a viable option and their only option. I’m sad that our country isn’t more shocked and pained by incidents like this. I’m sad we don’t consider mental health as important as physical health.

    1. I’m sorry for the loss of your coworker. Your colleagues are being disgusting, although I do think it’s likely that their comments are their (disgusting and offensive) way of dealing with the shock.

      I hope you are able to go home. Beyond that, maybe put in your earbuds and play something nice?

    2. If they continue to speak about it in your presence, you handle it the same way you handle people who speak about any other unprofessional topic: “This is not an appropriate topic of conversation. Please have it in private or after work hours.”

    3. Sending you love and gentle hugs… If your company/office has HR, you can always ask them to address the situation and to speak on the appropriateness of discussing this at work in any way, as well as what the protocol is for employees who may need counseling or to leave early to process this. In the meantime, if it were me and people were talking, I’d probably say something like, “wow, that’s really an interesting way to discuss someone whose sadness was so profound!” or “It’s really brave of you to speak so flippantly about this at work since we don’t know how many in the office may have personal experience with suicide and may be taking your words to heart.”

      PS I’m not sure if your trigger is that you have ever struggled with this yourself, but if so, thank you for fighting to stay. The world is better because you are in it. <3

    4. Oh my god. I am so sorry. Can you shut yourself in an office? Conference room? Anywhere?

    5. Wow how awful!

      I agree with the comments above about telling them to STFU in a sort of shaming way, if you have it in you. But take care of yourself today, even if that just means hiding, physically or mentally.

      Relatedly, a friend recently shut down some triggeryAF diet talk at work by saying something like, “hey did you consider there might be someone recovering from an eating disorder in the room?” and pointing at herself… which was braver than I think anyone is obligated to be, but also I hope made the point in a way that would sink in.

  21. Any feds here enroll selves/family members on the FLTCIP (long term care insurance) program?

    DH and I are mid-thirties, 2 kids, healthy, and have life insurance. DH also has some disability insurance through work. Planning on looking into this and private sector alternatives, but curious as to others’ thought processes as to whether it is worth it at this stage of life….

  22. I recently received a retirement evaluation report from Vanguard. It says that I could have 231K/year in retirement at age 65 and that this amount may be less than what I’ll need. I have about 247K in 401K right now and am 35 years old. I didn’t save as much or at all in the beginning of career because of lack of financial education/know how/overwhelmed with work. Do you have advice for what I should do to make up for this shortfall? Open an IRA account? Any advice or resource for course correcting here?

    1. Wait, it’s saying your earnings in retirement will be $231k/year? That’s insanely high. How much do you earn now? Most people need well less than their current income during their retirement years. If it makes you feel better, DH and I are 34 and only have about $200k in retirement between us but we’re not worried – we’re saving aggressively now, and we have a house that will be paid off that we can live in until we sell it to move to assisted living.

    2. I don’t see how you need 231K + annual income in retirement unless you are currently living and want to maintain quite a high end lifestyle.

    3. Is the 231k number from Vanguard in today’s dollars? How is the what you “need” determined? I have a hard time imagining that 231k a year in today’s dollars is not enough, but YMMV.

      1. I’m imagining it is in future (i.e.real) dollars. That is how these reports generally work.

      2. I make about 150K in base salary and about 25K in bonuses. May be I was getting alarmed for no reason, your responses are definitely reassuring. I looked again, and that 231K at 65 years translates to about $13,736 (I think in future dollars) which is more than my pre-tax pay. I see that 231K projected retirement income includes some SS contribution of about 33K, which cannot be relied upon. Also, this is just *retirement*, husband has his own. But the question still remains, do people have IRA or other retirement vehicles that they use to supplement their income.

        1. Yes, an IRA is a good idea if you’re maxing your 401(k) and have extra money to save. If you are maxing a 401(k) on a $175,000 salary, I think you’re doing pretty well though.

    4. You are doing very, very well for your age if your goal is to retire around 65. If you’re interested in FIRE, then you will need more than the norm. Figure out your yearly expenses, the age you want to retire, and guesstimate your longevity based on your family history.

      I would suggest having an IRA in addition to a 401k, if only because the distribution rules are different and will offer you more flexibility. I prefer a Roth, but if you make too much, you can backdoor a Roth or use a Traditional IRA instead.

    5. Echoing others, I’d figure out where the $230k a year came from. Some planners will blindly use 80% of current income as what you need in retirement. If you have a high HHI, that doesn’t make any sense unless you are planning on living a super lavish lifestyle. We worked with our new financial planner to come up with a more realistic model of needing about 75k a year in today’s dollars (about 20% of our HHI), which I think is still an overestimate, even with money budgeted for travel, particularly since we won’t have a mortgage when we retire. We’re moderately intense FIRE people, so planning to retire early 50s.

      1. Just want to add, I think people forget that very end of life costs can add up very quickly- at 65, 75k may seem like tons to travel, shop, treat yourself & your family… but at 100, if you need 24/7 nurse care, that would not be enough. My 100 yo grandmother just passed away, so I saw this happen first hand.
        OP- I agree with what others are saying generally. We make $300-$500k/yr between my husband & I…. we don’t spend most of it, so I wouldn’t base what I need in retirement off of that at all even though vanguard spits out the 80% number to us.

  23. Let’s put another woman on the Demo debate stage. Kirsten Gillibrand has not met the donor threshold for the debate. She’s a Blue Dog.

  24. Is this stupid? My husband keeps getting red light/speeding/parking tickets from cameras in my city, so far I believe 7 this year. It is the first year we have owned a car. The car is registered to my name so technically the ticket is issued to me. I am planning to run for public office in 10-15 years (circuit court judge). We are considering transferring the car title to his name so that when that time comes my opponent can’t use my (probably, eventual) 70+ tickets against me. In my large midwestern city, this is the type of material that is used against political candidates.

    1. Is what stupid? Transferring the car to his name? I would say that’s pretty sensible even if you weren’t planning to run for office. Is your husband stupid for getting so many tickets? Yes.

    2. Tell your husband to stop being such an asinine driver. That is the real solution that benefits everyone. The problem is not the cameras or the registration – it’s your husband.

      1. Hoo boy, no kidding!

        Yes, change the registration for the car but tell him to grow up and obey the traffic laws.

      2. This. Speeding and red light tickets are pretty serious violations that could endanger someone. I’d be less worried about parking tickets unless it was like for parking in front of a fire hydrant/in a disabled spot etc.

        Also, how is your car insurance not like a million dollars by now?

        1. Or some more severe punishment than just a ticket? Isn’t it usually (and your laws may vary) that multiple speeding tickets in a short time frame (and considering we’re 4.5 months into the year, he’s looking at nearly 2 a month, so short time frame) result in more and more severe punishments? Such as… losing your license or, if there are enough of the same kind, jail time? (maybe that’s only in the movies or on TV though).

        2. Sorry, I wasn’t clear, he’s not getting multiple speeding tickets. They’re tickets issued by our municipality from violations caught by various cameras, such as parking, standing in a no standing zone, turning right on in a no turn on red. He hasn’t ever been like pulled over by a cop and issued a citation.

          1. Again, quit violating the law. There are reasons for these laws.

            Honestly given your explanation I sincerely would never vote for you, because you seem to think breaking the law isn’t the problem, getting caught is.

          2. Not sure why you seem to think a ticket is more serious if he’s been pulled over by a cop. If he’s illegally turning right on a red, why does it matter if the ticket comes from a machine or a person? He still broke the law.

      3. The tix are mostly parking, he tends to be pretty cavalier about standing in a no standing zone etc, and the tickets tend to take over a month to arrive int he mail so he’s not learning very quickly. He just got 2 tickets in the mail yesterday that were speeding tickets from the same day over a month ago. Hopefully he’ll be more careful, but that’s beyond my control when I’m not in the car.

        2. Is his licence still valid? In my area, 2-3 moving violations (e.g. excessive speeding, not stopping at a red light), will make you lose enough points that you could lose your licence.

          1. zero moving violations, these are essentially parking tickets issued by our local municipality from cameras. Points are not at issue, they’re just fines. (Not happy about the fines either though, just wanted to clarify).

          2. My jurisdiction has fines and points attached to the same violation. A moving violation is when the car is being driven. It’s not ‘essentially a parking ticket’ if he is driving the car.

            How much has your insurance increased?

            Your minimization of his law breaking does not bode well for your prospective judgeship. You are very cavalier about these tickets.

        3. “the tickets tend to take over a month to arrive int he mail so he’s not learning very quickly.”

          You have a husband problem, not a driving record problem.

    3. Why is his car in your name anyway? If there’s no real reason and he’s responsible for payments/insurance/etc. then switch it! Also, why is the concern about running for office rather than him consistently driving in a way that is considered unsafe enough to get ticketed? I wonder why this continues to happen rather than him learning from the mistake after the first ticket… 70+ tickets seems like he’s someone who may not be responsible enough to have driving privileges if the tix come from red light/speeding or someone who ought to invest in a regular parking space if they come from parking tix. As for your future run for public office, YAY you! :)

    4. With 7 tickets in 6 months I’d be more worried about someone getting hurt than a prospective career situation.

    5. He should definitely avoid getting 70+ tickets. I do know plenty of people who have accumulated 7+ tickets very quickly, usually at just 1-2 places they pass everyday, before they received the tickets in the mail several weeks later. They didn’t know there was no turn on red, or that the speed limit was only 25, or whatever. Studies show that most people end up changing their route to avoid the cameras, not necessarily driving better.

    6. Since this is the first time you have owned a car, you and your husband need a refresher on traffic laws. Running red lights is incredibly dangerous. More than ruining your chances of winning a political office, your lives will be ruined if he hits and injures/ kills someone. This kind of driving is not okay.

      Additionally, what a waste of money! At the rate he’s going, how much are those tickets costing you and where would you rather spend that money? Now add in how much your insurance rates are going to go up once the insurance company finds out about all these tickets. Yikes!

      Sure, transfer the registration, but you should have a much bigger conversation about your husband’s behavior.

    7. The problem you have is not future opposition research. Honestly, I would not vote for a judge who is concerned more with running for office and less about respect for the law. I am not a lawyer but totally expect judges to put the law first, and then appearances. If you had phrased your question as “how do I help persuade my husband to drive in a way that doesn’t get some person killed and respects the laws designed to prevent those deaths..and oh by the way I’m running for office in 10 years” I’d be a bit more sympathetic. Your husband is a menace who does not respect the law and your expressed concern is how it makes you look..and you want my vote to be a judge? Nopety nope nope nope. No votes for you; your priorities are out of whack.

        1. You’re being very confusing – you posted above:

          “He just got 2 tickets in the mail yesterday that were speeding tickets from the same day over a month ago.”

          Two speeding tickets in one day is no joke. And he knows how fast he was going – he’s driving the car.

        2. You said above they’re speeding tickets and no turn on red. Those aren’t just parking tickets. Maybe they’re treated like that for insurance purposes, but they’re not parking tickets, full stop.

      2. ….. but she’s not responsible for her husband’s behavior. I can dislike things that my husband does and even try to persuade him not to do it, but it’s not ultimately her responsibility and doesn’t reflect on her.

        1. OP thinks her husband’s law breaking is No big deal and the issue is just that it’s documented and might be found out. I would never want to vote for someone like this.

    8. Your husband needs to re-take driver’s ed. Then he needs to figure out if it’s a good idea for him to drive.

    9. Tell your husband to follow traffic laws! How is that obviously not your first step??

  25. to the ladies that recommended dr Jart as a concealer- ty! My order just arrived and I tried it on and it’s great! Fingers crossed it doesn’t make me break out or get itchy.

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