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I’ve had my share of wardrobe malfunctions at the office — as I’m sure all professional women have! Today’s guest poster, Kai Falkenberg, shares one of her personal doozies. (Kai was also good enough to share her favorite wedges for Fall 2011 — the perfect commuting shoes.) Thank you, Kai! – Kat. (Photo Credit: linuswong.)
As the newsroom lawyer for Forbes magazine, I try to dress like the editors and journalists that I advise. “They’re more likely to accept your advice if they think you’re one of them.” That’s what I was told by a panel of entertainment lawyers years ago who also said to leave the law school diplomas at home when you move in house. But there’s quite a range of attire among the editorial team here at Forbes. A good number of them wear jackets and ties, but jeans are common too and even Birkenstocks. Some are known for their unusual wardrobe choices. Our letters editor regularly shows off his collection of Aloha shirts and his bold printed pants which he buys from this aptly named site. A copy editor occasionally wears fuzzy pink bunny ears – even while working out in the office gym – and not on Halloween. That said, the majority of folk in the newsroom stick to tailored business casual and generally I try to choose clothes that put me squarely in that group.
Occasionally, however, I push the envelope and recently that led to what I’ll call euphemistically “an undesirable outcome.” When it comes to dresses I typically wear shifts that are tailored and structured. But on a shopping outing a few months ago, I spied a loose fitting silk dress at Zara that satisfied two of my obsessions: python prints and bargains. Bargain hunting is, of course, a perennial obsession but the python thing has been with me for a while as well. I’m embarrassed to say how many snakeskin print items I actually own though I will reveal that even my new iPhone has fallen victim to the obsession. So I scooped up the dress for $68 and wore it to work the next week.
I was reviewing a story with two male editors when one, standing behind me, signaled me to come closer and pointed at my dress. I thought I was about to receive a compliment. Instead he whispered, “Your dress is split down the back. I mean all the way down. Just thought you’d like to know.” “Oh,” I said and retreated to my office, speedily. Fortunately, I had a spare jacket hanging on my door – for those unexpected court appearances that never actually occur. Luckily, the jacket was long enough to cover my rear end and I made it through the day without flashing anyone else. The dress is in the dumpster now but a lesson was certainly learned. You get what you pay for. There’s a reason that dresses with lining cost more – and now I admit, it’s actually worth it.
Has something like this happened to anyone else at work? Please do share so that I’m not the only one baring all…
(Kat: For my $.02, I remember buying my first DvF dress, which I’d seen Lorelai wear on Gilmore Girls. Great dress, and Lorelai didn’t need a camisole with it. I’m proudly strutting around the office in it and go to my first meeting of the day, fortunately with two women lawyers. As soon as I look down at my notepad, there it is: my entire bra, peeking out from beneath my dress. FUN. At my first opportunity I rushed back to my office for a black scarf that I kept in the office, tucking it into the dress like a half-attempt at a blouse — an imperfect fix for sure!)
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MaggieLizer
Not so much a wardrobe malfunction as a ML being clumsy and awkward moment, but I have learned NEVER AGAIN to buy a pencil skirt without a kick pleat/vent. My second week on the job, I was in such a skirt kneeling in a ladylike manner on the floor to reach some books on the bottom shelf of a bookcase. I pulled out all the books I needed and tried to get up by stepping onto one foot. Of course my skirt was too tight around the knees to step properly because it wasn’t vented. When my knee caught on the fabric I was totally thrown off balance and I, and the books, spilled all over the library floor. At least my skirt was long enough that I didn’t show off the goods as I lay sprawled on the floor.
housecounsel
I love this thread but am sad that Anonymous3’s comment got lost. I have met some really mean female lawyers who are of a generation older than mine, and I have often wondered whether they HAD to be that way in order to succeed in what was really a man’s world at the time.
housecounsel
P.S. and count me among those who have urinated on the sash of a wrap dress.
C2
Oh man I am never going to stop laughing about this. Me too!
Ning
Totally had one happen to me a couple of weeks ago. I just started a new job at a media brokering office. One day on my first week, I was wearing a knee- length Ann Taylor skirt, which I generally trust to be very work-safe, but it did have a slit in the back.
First thing in the morning, I’m in my boss’s office and lean over his desk to get a better look at a computer program on his monitor that he was telling me about.
And I felt a breeze. That’s right, the slit revealed my undies when I leaned over. The rest of the day was spent sitting demurely in my office chair.
RR
I had the back seam of a new pair of pants come unsewn midday at the office (thank you Talbots). It was a several inches long gap, and I was wearing white undies under the black pants. I took my little sewing kit to the bathroom, took them off, and hastily sewed them up to get through the day.
Ebro fin
I wore a brand new Ann Taylor dress on a business trip to Brazil. It was brown and white, and had these pretty, fabric covered buttons that closed by slipping them through a loop. The buttons were down the front bodice and the sleeves. Over the course of a very long day, including dinner, almost every button simply fell off the dress. Which required me to ask the secretaries for tape to try to tape it shut–and of course, they spoke English as their second language and couldn’t quite figure out what my problem was.
Really needed a glass of wine that night.
MelD
This is not one of mine, but such a classic I can’t resist. When I was in 9th grade it was the very beginning of the slip dress trend- only the trendiest people were wearing them. One day my 50ish French teacher came in wearing a slip and we were all looking at each other thinking she must be ultra trendy because no one would forget a dress, right?
We all had the same French teacher in 12th grade, at which point she finally admitted she forgot her dress that day. She’s long retired and as far as I know, people still talk about it today. What was amazing to me was that she actually managed to pull it off the whole day by acting like it was completely normal, so everyone thought for three years that she was just trying a new fashion trend.
meme
This made me laugh too hard and shoot water out my nose. Ouch but worth it.
Anonylawyer
Not a fashion faux pas, but on my first day as a summer associate, I went to lunch with my partner mentor and associate mentor. I walk into the restaurant and don’t notice a stair and I toppled over on the floor in my skirt suit. Luckily it was 2004 and people still wore pantyhose. Oy.
Laura
Threadjack…Can anyone give advice on navigating the US law school system? My friend’s child wants to get into law school in California and says that is where the best schools in the North America are. He plans to do pre-law in Canada (University of Toronto) and he has a high GPA. He hasn’t been able to give her any concrete information on how hard it is for non-US students to get in, availability of scholarships, cost etc. This path was recommended by his undergraduate professors.
Lily
If your friend’s son wants to end up practicing law in Canada, it’s better for him to attend a Canadian law school IMO. I was faced with the same decision about 5 years ago and decided since I wanted to live here, I should go to law school here. Canadian law schools are fantastic and pretty reasonably priced, especially compared to similar US schools. The hoops you have to jump through to get licensed here are a pain in the ass IMHO.
Just my two cents
jcb
There are some great law schools in CA, but also in many other states. CA certainly doesn’t have a monopoly on that. Methinks he is picturing sunny beaches more than law school. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
Westraye
As a lawyer who studied in Canada then worked in biglaw New York, I think your son’s friend needs to figure out where he wants to end up (as Lily mentioned) before picking a school. California has some good schools, but it certainly is not the only place for good law schools. Does he want to end up in the US generally? or a specific state? The answer should inform where he goes to school.
I think the best reason to go to school in Canada, even if you want to work in the US, is the low cost tuition. I was so thankful that I didn’t have the debt load of my US colleagues and it gave me much more flexibility in my career. If he goes to a good school in Canada and does very well, he should be able to get a private biglaw job in the States. But it will be harder to do non-profit stuff and there are certainly many more hoops to jump through for Canadians (who don’t have US citizenship) who want to do non-profit, non-big-law stuff – if that’s his passion, he should go to a US school.
Also – he needs to get a high LSAT score. Seems to matter a lot more in the US than in Canada.
anon
A couple of weeks ago the strap on my sling-back shoe broke. I rigged it together with string and a rubber band so my shoe wouldn’t fall off. This has actually happened to me a couple of times, and is why I rarely buy sling-backs. I have learned that you cannot staple together leather shoes with a regular staple, or even the big heavy duty stapler in the copy room. I’m just glad no one walked in and saw me trying to stick my shoe the big stapler in the copy room.
somniculosa
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I was heading to a legislative committee meeting, and I realized that when my dog made a break for it a daycare that morning, and I tripped and almost busted it, I split my black leather pumps down the front side. I ended up stapling the two parts together and coloring the staples in with a black marker. Then I tiptoed as much as I could and tried to hide that foot behind the other when I sat down. Why am I always wearing a skirt when these things happen? It’s so much easier to hide show malfuntions when you’re wearing pants!
Anon for this one!
I recently purchased a khaki skirt at Target for casual Fridays at work. It was a decent skirt, but half-way through the day one of our legal assistants (bless her) came up to me and said “I think your zipper is coming undone.” Yup, the back zipper had completely failed and was halfway down my booty. I keep a black pantsuit at the office but was wearing some kind of brown shirt that would have looked hideous with it.
Fortunately one of my colleagues was collecting for Dress for Success and she lent me a black dress, over which I threw the jacket from my suit. I also changed the brown-hued shoes to the black pumps I keep in my desk. No problem!
Liked the dress so much I kept it, in fact. But I still need to make a donation to Dress for Success to make up for it…
Samantha
Since nobody has said this until now:
Love the Gilmore Girls reference, Kat! :)
The Bad Wife
test
ALB
(1) This was law school. It was a social event marking halfway through the 2nd year. That’s winter in Chicago. I was wearing a wrap skirt in a silk ikat print that I loved. While walking with three male friends to a bar afterward, I suddenly noticed that my skirt was at my ankles. It had unwrapped. Fortunately, I was wearing a wool coat that fell to my ankles, so there was no indecent exposure. Unfortunately, the only fellow of the three who I felt would understand my plight was the married gent, due to his expected experience with women’s clothing. Much cursing ensued on my part, and then the difficulty of beelining to a bar’s bathroom to slip the skirt back on, while smuggling it unseen yet uncrumpled somewhere on my person.
(2) I have also once shown up to work in the midst of trial prep wondering why on earth I thought the brown shoe worked with an outfit, and then after some time pondering realized the other shoe was black. Borrowed a pair of black shoes from a friend; moved an uncomfortable (though cute!) pair of black Stuart Weitzmans with a tortiseshell toe to the office.
hitgirl
I am in-house Chief Litigation Counsel for a manufacturing company and work with mostly men. I am usually really careful after using the restroom, but it was a super busy day, and I was in a rush. I was wearing a full skirt, which I rarely do, and had just returned from the restroom and had stopped to check my mail, which was required that I have my back facing the male finance supervisor’s office. Suddenly, I realized I could feel a breeze and started frantically checking my skirt in the back and could not feel it. I had been standing there for a good five minutes. He actually asked me “hey, what’s going on with your skirt” and I had to respond, “I am flashing you my ass, aren’t I?” He laughed, and I ran into my secretary’s cubicle and realized my skirt was tucked into my undies and flashing my bottom to everyone. I retreated to my office and stayed there for the rest of the day. I threw away that skirt and still get teased my flash at the holiday party.
somniculosa
I was heading to my first appearance in federal court, and I got dressed i the semidark because my husband was still asleep. I got to the firm, picked up the client and the partner, and drove to court. I dropped them off at the front door, and I went to park. As I was walking to the courthouse, a complete stranger stopped me and ask, “Ma’am, do you know you’re wearing one brown shoe and one balck shoe?” I looked down, and sure enough–completely obvious with my knee-length skirt suit), I had on one black pump and one light brown pump. All I could do was laugh. Then I got into the courthouse and had to remove my shoes to go through the metal detector. I just looked the security guard in the eye and said, “Yes, I know that’s one brown shoe and one black shoe.” And then I held my head up, carried my bag down low to provide some distraction, and walked into the courtroom. I went home and changed at lunch, but it was an interesting mornig. I always check the color of my shoes before I leave the house now. Lesson learned.
free education online
Touche. Outstanding arguments. Keep up the good spirit.