This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I have never been more ready for the holiday season than I am this year. Give me lights, give me sparkles, give me velveteen blazers! This rich deep green hue is so gorgeous and would look great dressed up or dressed down.
For the office, I’d pair this with black pants, an ivory turtleneck, and some great black loafers. For a holiday dinner, I’d wear this with a black V-neck and a sparkly gold skirt.
The blazer is $84 at J.Crew Factory and comes in classic sizes 0–24 and petite sizes 00–12.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon
I’m expecting a job offer to come through by the end of the week. The company mentioned they’re hoping this position could start in mid-December. Given the time of year, do you think it would be reasonable for me to negotiate a start date immediately after the holidays (i.e., January 3)? Ideally, I’d like to give my current job 2.5-3 weeks notice, followed by a two week break between jobs.
Anonymous
I would definitely negotiate this – especially if the new team will be either absent on vacation or slammed with year-end deadlines where it’s difficult to jump in late. Assuming you negotiate the offer, it’s highly unlikely you’ll have accepted before the first week of December anyway.
anne-on
Definitely negotiate for a January start. I’ve always expected that I won’t be able to take PTO for a while after starting a new role as it takes time to accrue (yay US…) so I’ve always taken a week or two off before starting a new job. I think this is totally reasonable, especially around the holidays!
Anon
I just did this yesterday! They wanted me to start Dec 13th and I negotiated a Jan 3 start date.
I plan to give 2.5 weeks notice and take 3 weeks off!
Anon
I did this last year. They wanted me to start mid-December and I said I already had travel plans for the holidays and needed to start Jan. 4. There was some initial hesitancy from my boss, but then she came back and said, it looks like all the people you’d need to meet with are going on PTO for Christmas anyway so there’s no need to have you start early. I resigned from my then-current job and had my last day be December 18 and enjoyed time off over the holidays, which is good because due to some big projects I won’t be getting that this year. Definitely ask for a delayed start date.
Anon
Do it, do it, do it. It makes life SO MUCH easier paperwork-wise.
I’m currently trying to max out my 401k at my new job by back-of-napkin calculations including how much I put in my last job that ended in late October, when the contributions will finally kick in at the new job, and how to account for only being able to contribute in whole percentages. It is freaking impossible because they can’t account for my prior job contributions (I asked) and I will almost definitely pay a penalty for overcontributing in 2021.
Plus, I just had to start over with my health deductible for the last six weeks of 2021. Then it will reset AGAIN in January. Thanks to an unexpected health scare, this is costing me 16k that changing jobs at year-end would have avoided.
Sorry, I have Opinions about this!
Anon
Ages ago I negotiated a January 6 start and the new company was trying to get me to start 12/31 because it would have given me another calendar year of service for vesting purposes. I was dumb to ignore that. In hindsight, I should have gone in for 1/2 day on the 31st just to get that. So check out whether that’s a factor.
Your request is not otherwise unreasonable.
Mass food recs
Going to be just outside of Boston on a research fellowship over winter which I am dreading as I grew up poor in the hot South and can’t get into winter sports, so mostly looking for food recs but open to other ideas. What are some must-do restaurants or foodie experiences? Boston, Cambridge and nearby suburbs are all at play as I will have a car. Leaving in March…
Anon
Do you like 80s music? Heavy metal? Do you have a lot of spirit? Do you like beer? I highly recommending at least trying going to a hockey game (OK to wear your coat inside; n.b., there are only three periods if you think people are getting up and leaving early). On a Friday night after a long work week. When maybe you are mad and want to hit something. It may be very, very cathartic and you may feel a bond with strangers even though you are not sure what is happening on the ice. Minor league games are cheap but an NHL game is art, so either way is good in a different way.
Also: Dropkick Murphys (punk band with a banjo and accordion) if you can see them live.
Anon.
As an immigrant in the US, I’ve never understood any sort of American “sportsball”, but your description of an ice hockey game makes me want to go (80s music, heavy metal, beer!?!? Sign me up asap!).
Anonymous
Go! Weekday games can have some good deals if it seems too speedy for you. But go!
Not my team, but Gritty is the best sports all mascot out there.
Eliza
I’m not at all a sports person, but an ice hockey is great fun. Go!
Anon
I’ve always called it “a violent ballet on ice” but I like 9:34’s description better.
A
YES +1 to Dropkick Murphys.
Anon
I love your description of hockey. Go Wings!!
Bean74
#LGRW!
Anon
Clap clap
Clap clap clap
Anonymous
Why does your background mean you can’t get into winter sports now? You don’t need a lot of money to go on a winter walk or to get a Groupon for an ice-skating session on the Common.
When it comes to foodie stuff, Salem is underrated.
Enjoying winter is 99% about the attitude. The other 1% is buying the warm clothes you need.
Eliza
+1
Anonymous
Not what you asked but the glass flowers at Harvard are so worth a visit, as are all the art museums and the aquarium. Drive out to MassMOCA in North Adams too. You also must go candle pin bowling while in Boston.
anne-on
+1 – the MIT and Harvard museums are pretty amazing.
Anon
Well you’re not going to have much fun in winter with that attitude.
Anonymous
+ 1. If you can walk you can snowshoe, so buy a giant puffer, a cute hat and some snow-boots and go enjoy the winter. Uniqlo and on-sale Sorel are your friends.
Anonymous
Don’t dread this – the Winter in the NE is amazing. Picture postcard winter scenes.
Anonymous
+1. I LOVE and miss winter in Boston. My husband and I had great fun walking around the neighborhood after storms and pushing each other into snowbanks and throwing snowballs at each other. Hot chocolate tastes amazing after. We’d get up for ski days at Sunapee (not a long drive and doable with a Zipcar) and took a bus for a ski day at Killington (transportation and lift ticket included for about $80). We went biking on the Minuteman Trail on a 5-degree day and enjoyed feeling alive. We gathered around the fire at my relative’s pre-Revolutionary War colonial home and drank wine and ate chocolates after a frigid walk on the beach. We took photos in Harvard Yard as snow came down and messed around in portrait mode. I miss it so much!
Anonymous
I learned how to do winter stuff in Cambridge as an adult in grad school so very much on a budget but there’s plenty to do. bundled up walks to enjoy the gorgeous snow are free. you can take late night beginner ski classes and they’re much cheaper (I learned how to ski at 28). the Isabella Stewart Gardner museum is lovely. try to drive up to NH or Vermont or Maine to explore. in Cambridge, my must dos are: flour bakery, life alive, alive n kicking for the lobster sandwich, lord hobo (man I miss that bar), LA burdicks chocolates and hot chocolate, zinnekins Belgian waffles, Toscanini’s ice cream, tatte cafe (there are several locations), walking around mt auburn cemetery (it was the first landscaped/garden cemetery and home to many beautiful birds and plants)
my only pro tip is to try to get covered parking (it can be open air) or garage parking for your car. street parking with the snowstorms is an absolute nightmare. but enjoy!!
Anonymous
+1 to Life Alive for delicious vegetarian food. Also Redbones in Davis Square if you want to go the opposite route…
LaurenB
I get that you grew up in the South so you’re not used to cold weather, but what does growing up poor have anything to do with anything? Plenty of people in the North aren’t into winter sports (but are able to walk / tour / live their lives in cold weather). I’m really confused by your comment.
Anon
Skiing is a rich person activity and (as a former Bostonian) the majority of people there who actually enjoy winter are skiiers. It was a pretty logical comment to me.
Anonymous
Sarma and Tasting Counter are two great restaurants in the area. Tasting Counter is a small restaurant where you can watch the chefs prepare and plate each dish, and they will do non-alcoholic, wine, or sake pairings for each dish.
Seventh Sister
The MFA and the Gardner Museum are amazing. I don’t know if this will help at all, but one benefit of being a supremely cold place is that most buildings in Boston are pretty close to overheated all winter. I’ve been colder in uninsulated buildings in Southern California.
Anon
I agree but I’m not sure I’d call it a benefit. It’s pretty annoying when you have to dress for 20 outside and 80 indoors. It’s actually one of the things I hate most about winter.
Anonymous
Learn downhill skiing at Wachussett Mountain and cross-country skiing at the Weston Ski Track. You may be able to rent cross-country skis inexpensively through your university to ski on campus after a snowstorm. Snowshoe. Go sledding or snow tubing. And definitely take in some college or minor league ice hockey.
Gosh, I miss living near Boston. Now I am stuck in the mid-Atlantic where there is never any usable snow.
Anon
I think you’re getting a lot of harsh comments. I lived in Boston for seven years as a student and didn’t know anyone who looked forward to winter except people who had the time, interest and money to escape the city and ski most weekends. Yes, the snow is beautiful when it’s falling. But after the first day it’s slushy and gross, and it’s cold and snowy for about five months straight. You get sick of it fast. I was even a competitive figure skater growing up, so it’s not like I have no experience with winter sports, but skating at Frog Pond is one of those thing that’s fun to do once in December around the holidays… not every weekend. I’ve since moved to a part of the Midwest with milder, much less snowy winters and don’t miss Boston winters AT ALL (fall is a different story, though).
Docs organization
What is the best guidance for storing physical documents at home? I keep reading we don’t need any physical documents anymore but as an immigrant on a work visa in the US I worry about physical copies beyond just my visa stuff like old paystubs, W2s, mortgage docs etc. My shelf is overfull and I need to declutter.
Cb
I had a similar immigration concern and just created a file box for all paperwork, but didn’t sort by document type. When it was time to do my visa extensions and later citizenship, it was easy to have everything in one place. I tried doing more granular filing but would be too lazy to file and things ended up all over.
Anonymous
This is why filing cabinets exist. Similar immigrant situation, got a filing cabinet and never thought about it again.
Anon
Don’t store anywhere subject to flooding. Consider a fireproof box if that concerns you.
Anon
Only save your visa related things in hard copy (no idea if that includes paystubs, etc), scan the rest and that should free up a lot of space.
Ses
Yup, am an immigrant and have a big Tupperware box where I throw papers. Every couple years I have a day of hunting through the papers for visa renewal documentation. Otherwise it lives at the bottom of a closet.
Anon
Immigrant too, but now a citizen. I keep original citizenship documents, birth certificates etc in a fireproof box. Everything else I scan and shred.
Anon From Here
We keep our immigration and citizenship documents in an accordion binder that we call the household’s “nuclear football.” It’s kept in a large backpack that we use as our emergency evacuation bag (basically a bag that will get us to a hotel and keep us comfortable for a few days, if our house burns down). We store the evacuation bag in a convenient location by an exit door. We’ve also scanned the documents so that we have the numbers, issue dates, expiry dates, etc., available without having to dig out the “football.”
Gj
Fireproof safe, you can get a small one cheap for documents. I have SSN, marriage certificate, immigration docs, covid vaxx card, and back up memory etc. in mine.
Anonymous
Keep a record of dates you leave the US and re-enter for vacations, conference etc. Passport date stamps are sometimes hard to read, not always given, and never inchronological order). The citizenship application requires a complete list!
Anon
Fellow cold-weather dwellers: what is in your winter coat wardrobe? My Uniqlo puffer’s zipper broke and I’m looking for a good replacement. I’m 5’0 and loathe cold weather but am determined to get outside. Was looking at TNF Gotham parka but am hesitating because of the prominent white logo on the black coat but otherwise it’s perfect.
Go for it
TNF is quite nice~ also not into logo at all…truth ….I use a sharpie & color the logos black.
Anon
I like the Columbia Carson Pass interchange jacket. It blocks wind really well.
anne-on
How cold are you talking? I have a fairly ridiculous coat wardrobe, as does my husband, as we live in MA and go skiing in northern VT often enough that -10 weather needs to be accounted for. If you’re going to be active outside, layers are key, and you need a ski parka. Mine is an older EMS one, a ski store will have lots for you to try on. I run cold and just wear baselayers and my ski parka, but my husband layers various down vests underneath shells for skiing depending on conditions (late March skiing is very different from January skiing).
For ‘I have to commute in 10-20 degrees but can’t wear ski pants to work weather’ I have a Soia & Kyo knee length puffer with an extra deep hood, long cuffs, and deep angled pockets. They go on sale for Black Friday, I snagged one then. Mackage, Moose Knuckles, and Canada Goose are also super warm. I also have 2 dress wool coats for fancier winter events (one midi length, one knee length), both Mackage, which are very warm (for wool). For running errands where I’ll be in/out of the car I either wear my Barbour with the vest or a Patagonia puffer – I find the Barbour warmer as it’s waterproof so the wind isn’t as cutting.
I would strongly siggest trying these on in person if possible – you can tell the various weights/quality of coats more easily in person. Bloomingdales is probably your best bet for non-active coats, and a good ski /outdoor store will be where you want to get a parka.
Ribena
For east-of-Scotland cold (around freezing, cold wind, not much rain), I have one good winter coat – just replaced one I’d had since I was a student with the Uniqlo Ultra Warm coat. I bought the short one since I run hot but they do also have a long version. When it’s super cold or I’m planning to be outside all day but not moving around much I will layer a thin puffer vest (mine is from Gap but very similar to the Patagonia and Uniqlo versions) underneath it.
I also have a couple of wool jackets that are slightly smarter but I don’t wear when it’s really cold.
Anon
Puffer vest under a coat is the way to go!
Anonymous
Consider getting some long underwear too. I have a northface puffer which I like, but it really helps to have something warm on my legs too. (
Anon
I have a North Face down filled puffer, it’s lasted about 10 years now and still going strong. It’s very warm. Where I am we get -30 to -40 celsius temperatures occasionally. Mostly in the -20 celsius range.
Anonymous
In NYC, I mostly rely on my Uniqlo ultra warm parka – mid thigh length. Long is key for me. I have wool coats I occasionally wear for dressy occasions, and a lighter Eddie Bauer quilted nylon coat I wear in the spring and fall. FWIW, if you like your puffer a tailer or dry cleaner can probably replace or repair the zipper.
Anon
OP here-Thanks for the replies! I’m in MA, so it gets fairly cold. My Uniqlo puffer has holes in it from sitting around the firepit last winter, so it’ll turn into my outdoors don’t care what happens coat. This year’s version is much longer so will pass in a Uniqlo option.
Anon
Marmot women’s Montreal or Montreaux. Regularly goes on sale for around $200. I live in NYC and am 5’1.
Anonymous
Could use some financial guidance. Punch line is I’ll be ok, but am regretting some things. My company normally gives large bonuses, approx a third of my compensation, at year end. This had been the case for many years. I live within my means but admittedly have assumed I would get that comp after almost a decade of tenure here. It was just announced no bonuses this year. I will be OK, I can afford rent even without this cash flow, but I am taking this as a lesson to actually budget and start living more below my base income next year. Any good starting points or good historical threads?
Ribena
I spend a lot of time on the [UK] personal finance board on Reddit and find the advice there really valuable. I know there’s a U.S. equivalent so would recommend checking it out
AnonInfinity
I love YNAB and it’s perfect for this scenario. I also budget only my base salary (though my bonus isn’t as large as yours). I get paid every other week, so I actually budget as if I get paid twice a month and treat the extra two checks as a windfall.
YNAB is a zero-based budget, similar to what some people call an envelope system. It takes a moment to get the hang of it, but once you get everything set up, it’s easy to use. Nick True on YouTube has some videos about getting started that are excellent, and there are a lot of resources on the YNAB website.
Anon.
If I were you, in addition to reconsider your budget, I would job search. No bonuses sounds like your company isn’t doing well.
anne-on
This, with the economy recovering and SO many open roles I’d be pretty miffed at losing out on a third of my income. Every time I’ve looked around at other roles I’ve been pretty shocked at how under market my pay was even if it felt generous to me at the time.
Anon
It would be losing a quarter of total income if the bonus is a third of the salary.
Cat
FWIW I read the OP as saying the bonus is a third of the whole, not the bonus is a third of base comp.
No Face
Agreed.
anon a mouse
First, good for you for living within your means — if you critically needed your bonus, this would be a crisis.
Second, time to start looking for another job. Your compensation surely can come up.
Third – highly recommend YNAB for budgeting and the personal finance subreddit. How is your emergency fund? If you don’t have at least 6 months’ living expenses saved, start with that as a goal.
Tara
The Reddit / r / personalfinance is definitely a good place to explain out the situation and get some insights. People love YNAB but I’ve personally never liked it.
If your bank or credit card company (Chase does this) has a “spending tool” or something where it breaks down how much you spend per month on each category that can be helpful.
I started budgeting by writing down 1) how much major bills (rent/mortgage, utilities, etc) were each month 2) how much I want to save in various ways each month and 3) based on the CC data + what was left how much I was okay spending on each category, and then tracking it in a Google sheet over a few months. I’ve done it for over a year now and its a beautiful spreadsheet, but tbh I’m tempted to go back to my old method of make sure I save enough + that my credit card bill (which I use for everything) is below a certain amount.
Anonymous
I am in a similar industry and just live on my base. I use my bonus to invest outside my pension plan and for large purchases like cars, the house down payment, etc.
LaurenB
Treat a bonus as invisible money that goes towards savings / investments. If you aren’t doing it already, make sure you’re maxing out on 401Ks, etc. You don’t miss what you never see.
Anon
Easy tip. Use a debit card for everything. Only deposit your regular check, not your bonus check, into your checking account. Have your full 401k and potentially other savings withdrawn from your check before it ever hits your account.
Then keep an eye on your account balance using the bank’s app. If you’ve spent all the money, you can’t buy more things, because remember, you’re only using your debit card.
Anonymous
I was traveling for work recently (in a blue state) and had to eat at a restaurant for the first time in a long time. I was surprised that restaurants no longer seem to be required to socially distance their tables. I guess I never realized how close to the brink the average restaurant operates. I’m not sure I understand the business model. Like, you pay your employees next to nothing, cost shift to customers to pay wait staff, pack everything square inch of space with customers, push customers out the door so you can turn the table multiple times a night… and that’s all required to stay in business?
Anonymous
Pretty much. For the most part, restaurants operate on very thin margins. After all, people don’t want to pay a ton more for something they could, in theory, make themselves so prices can only go so high (I’m talking about average restaurants, not fancy special occasion restaurants). Some are more profitable than others. My family has owned multiple restaurants through the years. Somewhat surprising to me, the largest profit margins were on a pizza restaurant.
Anon
The best way to wind up with a small fortune in the restaurant business is to start with a large one.
Cat
I mean, that’s back to “normal” so not that surprising? I’m hoping the increased outdoor dining is here for good — I don’t mind being somewhat crowded now that we are vaxxed and boosted, but I did NOT miss having to shout at my husband in making dinner conversation. The outdoor “streetery” tables are so much more chill!
Anon
Yes, they operate close to the brink. Though I’m told it helps a lot if the restauranteur owns the space. My understanding is that renting makes things tough since the landlord can increase the rent or push you out for a restaurant or other business they think will be able to pay higher rent.
anne-on
Yup, pretty much. There’s a reason there aren’t many mom and pop restaurants open in lots of areas – it’s hard to stay in business when there are razor thin margins and people are wary of spending $$ on ‘new’ places that might not be good. I actually hope the ‘family meal’ packages lots of places around us were doing during the pandemic stick around – it was a great way to try new places during a weeknight for us and we didn’t mind having a set menu as my kid isn’t super adventurous anyway ;)
Anonymous
Some of this probably depends on the cost of rent locally – in NYC, restaurants absolutely pack people in, and there must be a whole cottage industry for microscopic bathroom sinks. Blue states tend to have hire real estate prices and higher cost of living in general (and higher minimum wage). A liquor license is also key from what I understand – most places really make their money on drinks.
Seventh Sister
In my part of West LA, restaurants have high rents and while most do outdoor dining 12 months a year, they try to pack people in because the margins are really thin. Most places make their money on drinks, even if they don’t have a full liquor license. Thanks to a quirk in local laws, most places can do beer & wine & soju (which can be a vodka-like base for cocktails) but a full liquor license is $$$$. Delivery orders are huge right now, but I don’t know how profitable that is for most places. Plenty of places seem to employ a lot of family members, which probably brings down the labor costs a bit (assuming son doesn’t file a wage claim against his dad etc.). It’s a really tough business and there’s a fair amount of turnover.
Anonymous
I’m continually surprised that this community has such a dislike of dining. Going out for a meal, sitting in a beautiful restaurant, eating delicious and exciting new food and not doing the dishes – its just such a nice way to spend an evening to me. Warm, nicely lit restaurants with soft music just can’t be replaced by sitting in tent in a parking lot shivering or trying to eat in a coat and gloves or eating takeout. I guess I’m in the minority but it’s just sad.
Anonymous
Have you not noticed we are in a pandemic?
Anonymous
Sorry to clarify I meant that people seems to prefer these pandemic measures and have not missed in person indoor dining. I totally disagree.
Anon
Restaurant dining is not the same as takeout for me, but I don’t miss indoor dining at all. I love sitting outside on a patio. And I hated when restaurants smooshed tables together even before the pandemic. I don’t like other people in my space, and hate feeling like other people are listening to my conversations.
Anonymous
Yeah, our case rates are higher now that at any point during the summer. But it’s disdain for nice lighting keeping people outside or with takeout. WtactualF?
Cat
Tents in a parking lot are not what we are discussing. Restaurants in Philly have build sturdy sheds with individual rooms that have one doorway open to the outside like an old school train, HVAC, etc. it’s warm and cozy but you’re not breathing everyone else’s air!!
Anon
I worked as a server for many years, in both chain and family-owned establishments, at all price points. Once you see how the stuffing is made, so to speak, it loses its luster. Inspectors are courted like lobbyists, staff turnover is rampant, and behavior is often jaw-droppingly unprofessional. We were all lucky to avoid grave illness from dining out LONG before Covid.
Anon
* “sausage” is made. Clearly I have Thanksgiving on the brain.
Anonymous
I think I’m probably one of the people you’re referring to – I wouldn’t say that I dislike dining, but it’s not been a priority or something that’s been a particular pleasure for me before the pandemic, so not something I’ve been missing. I much prefer bars to restaurants, and have very much missed going out for a fancy cocktail or pint.
In a normal year, I go to more museums or shows than dining at restaurants.
Anon
Duh?
Anon
+1
Anon
Think about how much food costs though, and then this doesn’t seem so strange. I can buy a nice steak for $12 at the grocery store, or can pay $18 at a restaurant, where it also comes with salad. Or think of tacos – I can get a really generous serving of tacos with rice and beans for $8 or I can go out and buy chicken and tortillas and beans and rice and lettuce and sour cream and jalapenos and salsa fresca. Then think rent, utilities, supplies, insurance, staff. It doesn’t surprise me it is a narrow margin.
Anon
All of the Elizabeth Holmes court commentary I’ve read so far has been in newspapers, on NPR, or via Twitter. Maybe it is covered a lot more in CA? In the WSJ, it isn’t even in the main section of the paper (although I thank them for the expose and for running that on page 1 back in the day). My burning question: when she took the stand, which voice did she use?
If I hadn’t known it was her (it was she?), I would not have recognized her from before. The non-sleek hair, the lack of the black turtleneck, the lack of the “I’m the smartest person in the room” vibe.
anon
Quote from November 22nd cnbc.com article: Wearing a blue dress, Holmes took the stand introducing herself to the jury: “My name is Elizabeth Holmes,” she said, in her signature baritone voice. Her testimony lasted about two hours.
Curiosity question for the defense attorneys and anyone following this trial: Do you think it’s her ego or (my opinion here) pathology that drove her to take the stand? She believes she can charm the jury and convince them she’s the pretty, hapless, victim (with a new baby no less)? From what I am reading her taking the stand is a risky move and cross examination may not go well for her. I am personally ok with cross taking her apart, so there’s that. Do you think she convinced her lawyers she could charm her way out of this if they let her take the stand? She does appear to have a decades long history of talking or bullying people into doing what she wants, but on the stand she isn’t supposed to be lying and I can’t imagine bullying would work.
anon
Yes, I think she thinks she is smarter than everyone and I also am convinced she does not think she did anything wrong. That combo leads to a defendant who wants to testify. Now whether it’s a good idea or not . . .
anon
I’m a regulatory lawyer who works on the civil side of matters where there could be criminal or civil liability. All the criminal defense lawyers I talk to say it’s risky to put a client on the stand, and they’d only do so if they’re desperate. But Elizabeth Holmes seems like she could be the exception. As you point out, she has a long history of manipulating people. If she can defraud the people who invested in Theranos, I wouldn’t be surprised if she can convince a jury that it was all a big misunderstanding.
Anon
I assume this is the goal,too.
Anonymous
In a large case, you test this strategy before a mock jury before trying it in IRL. She must have tested well. She is also in an area where everyone has either worked for a start up or knows someone who does, and is likely to get the story of the enthusiastic entrepreneur who tried their best but could not get the company off the ground due to external factors. I think she could claim they got their fourth generation tests to at least one FDA approval and could have made it except for that WSJ takedown.
Anon
How do they find people to be on mock juries? Are the mock jurors themselves professionals, or do they find random people off the street who are willing to spend an afternoon on that kind of thing for a few bucks?
anon
I presented in front of a mock jury a few years ago and we used a jury consulting firm – they recruited (paid) volunteers online and through ads. It was a pretty representative group IMO, fairly diverse and across various professions. Obviously a decent chunk of SAHPs, students, and retirees, so perhaps not perfectly reflective of a jury, but nonetheless we got very valuable feedback.
Anon
Fascinating!
SF Attorney
I have attended three days of the trial, including her testimony on November 22 and 23. I found her voice to be low, but not as low as it was in various interviews over the years. because part of her defense is that Sunny Balwani was in control and he abused her, she really has to testify to that – no one else can. So far, she has been a very good witness on her own behalf.
anon
Just a sweet husband story, particularly for those who might be feeling sad before Thanksgiving, wondering if they will ever find their person. Yesterday I was dashing to the grocery store to pick up an ingredient I forgot, and asked my husband if he wanted anything. When he said “Nope”, I jokingly said “How about peace, joy, and love?”. And he replied “I already have that, every day that I’m with you!”:-) :-):-)
I didn’t meet husband until I was 39, and shed lots of tears along the way wondering if I was ever doing to find a partner and have a family…but one day I walked into a new group related to a hobby of mine, and he was there, and that was pretty much that. He was absolutely worth the wait, I am now so glad I didn’t end up with any of the other guys I dated, and now I’m 8 months pregnant (naturally conceived at almost 41) and we are so excited to meet our little girl. And every day with him does indeed feel full of peace, joy, and love:-)
Go for it
Hallmark tears here~ lovely!
Anonymous
So happy for you! I’ve posted about this before, but a warm, loving household is the best thing you can give your spouse and the best thing you can receive. It’s worth everything.
Vicky Austin
Awwww! What a lovely moment.
anon
This is really lovely for you!
It may not read as comfortingly or reassuringly for those who might be feeling sad before Thanksgiving.
anon
Yea honestly, us older singles who want to be paired and have been trying for some time logically KNOW it’s possible to meet someone great later in life. But that doesn’t mean hearing about it makes us feel any better!
Anon
Yeah I’m married to someone I met in my early 20s, but this comes across as smug married and I don’t see how it would comfort someone who is single and not happy about it.
Anon
I have to agree with this. I am really happy for OP and this would have been a really lovely story even without that framing!
Monday
I’m a pretty unsentimental person, and was prepared to be single for the rest of my life, but I’ll add my own nice story.
My SO and I are both divorced, and met at 36/37. His ex was a chronic cheater who basically wanted him around for childcare duties, and my ex told me he had never wanted to marry me in the first place. Now here we are with his fabulous kids (I did not want my own). We say that we “earned each other” and this totally happy, basically conflict-free relationship.
AIMS
So happy for you Monday! I remember when you went thru your divorce & so sincerely delighted for the happy turn your life took after all that. You really just never know how life will work out & it’s nice when the bad parts lead to the good ones.
Monday
Thank you AIMS! How amazing that we can follow each other’s ups and downs over…more than a decade!
Anan
This is so sweet!
My husband and I have one of those list apps where we can both add items. “Hugs and kisses” is standard item on the grocery list.
Vicky Austin
Aw that’s cute! My husband once stole my phone and entered some goofy things into my YouTube search, such as “reasons I love my wife.” (Also “how to poop,” but I suppose you can’t win them all.)
Anon
Classic
Telco Lady JD
This sounds a lot like my story – we met earlier, but had to do IVF. Our girl just turned a year old. I won’t say that EVERY day is filled with joy, but we are very lucky to have found one another.
Daffodil
I love this. Thanks for sharing!
Anonymous
This is such a lovely story. I’m 37, trying to date, want to start a family, and can relate. Thank you for the motivation!
Curious
This was nice to read.
Ainsley
I’m so sad about my maternity leave ending in a few weeks. Biglaw, billing at an unsustainable pace pre-baby like so many of my fellow ‘Rettes. With a few months off, I’m realizing that I do love my firm and my team, and I even like the work we do, but I never want to be the person I was before – always choosing work over everything else, including my own well-being. I suspect my mindset will naturally shift as I don’t want to miss my baby’s life and I’m lucky enough to be working from home with a nanny, but I’m terrified of returning to our collective insane pace and environment. I can’t go back to 300 hour months and I frankly don’t even want to go back to 200 hour months. Just venting. Sending warm thanksgiving wishes to all of you!
Piper Dreamer
I know how this feels. I came back from mat leave in August and have since billed 1100 hours. The baby is not sleeping, which makes it even harder. I don’t have any tips – similar to you, I like what I do and who I work with but there is SO MUCH work. We are bleeding juniors and the replacements we have suck…
Anon
I hear you! Our replacement juniors s*ck so bad, refuse training, and turn in work late if at all. I’m not giving them work b/c it is easier to do myself and I’m told we can’t fire them b/c we won’t be authorized to replace (maybe someone will headhunt them and we can find some TTT grad who is grateful to have a job and actually takes direction). I am hot mad at them 24/7 which oddly helps me power through.
The Hallmark Chanel image of this holiday makes me sad b/c that is never how it is in our house. I don’t want my kids to grow up barely knowing their crazed mom. I want a life at medium speed. IDK how to get that.
Cat
do people seriously still use the phrase TTT? I thought that died a decade ago, the last time ATL was relevant…
Anon
I feel like we use it for shorthand (like T15, “good” and everything else). These days, everyone from good schools thinks that they deserve Cravath-level $ and a bespoke training / work assignment regime and is eyeing the exit opportunities as soon as they walk in the door. Which is in some ways what everyone ought to be concerned about, but just be subtle about it a bit more, maybe.
We also recognize that for many / most law school graduates, they are not at T15 schools and are often in the bottom of the class and are very grateful to have a job that pays well. It’s like the bronze medalists vs the silver medalists in mentality? I just want someone who takes direction and is responsive and it is surprising to me where you find that and where you don’t.
Anon
I used it way too much about 18 years ago when I hung out in the Princeton review law boards but I have not seen it used in a good long while as of late.
Anon
Yeah I haven’t seen it since I read ATL 10 years ago.
Anonymous
Moreover, I cannot imagine working for people who use that term. Yikes. This might be why you bleed young talent.
Anonymous
If you are generalizing your junior staff based on the schools they attended, and perhaps providing them inadequate onboarding or training, I am not surprised they give half effort and try to leave ASAP. High quality employees have options.
Tara
I’m not a lawyer, but it seems extremely unappealing if people who are at the level these posters are at are still feeling pressure and time commitment requirements like a junior in another industry will. Also, Anon @ 9:39 AM you seem like a terrible manager – hopefully you are just venting online and this is not how you come off in person.
No shit y’all are bleeding juniors.
Anon
Seriously!!
Anonymous
Why is it her fault that they have a bad wave of juniors? In the past we had one year of hiring that was so bad we revamped our entire hiring process and team to better screen out the entitled. It was actually a diversity win, because we started looking for scrappy people who had overcome obstacles.
Anonymous
If your firm isn’t hiring high-quality attorneys, you need to look at why you aren’t appealing to better candidates or why your interview process is filtering them out.
Anon
I am an a firm so big that IDK who does the hiring and interviewing and screening, but we really haven’t had summer programs in years where we could somewhat make sure people kind of would work out (and had an idea of what the work volume and responsibility expectations were). So entry level hires were a crapshoot lately. None of the actual attorneys had any input into the process and IDK how much would have been possible anyway with the pandemic raging (also: I’m not sure how much good being in law school did for these folks, as they were remote for at least some of it and had no clinics, etc.). The much better hires — laterals that someone had some sort of connection to (e.g., person leaving Skadden for our city and someone had been on a deal with this person) or were a person coming off of a clerkship for a judge someone knows is a good at hiring.
Anonymous
I am surprised to hear there is a firm where no attorneys are involved in hiring at all, as in my experience all summer associates and laterals are interviewed by multiple attorneys. If whoever is doing the hiring is doing such a poor job, it is incumbent on you to reach out to them and ask for changes. Complaining and generalizing whole groups of people isn’t going to fix the issue.
Anon
I think it’s really hard to have a life at “medium speed” in Big Law. This is why people leave. I don’t mean that unkindly, I just think that even if you enjoy the work you may need to be thinking about exit options.
Anon
Big Boomer energy in your first paragraph there.
You’re in charge of your life and the choices you make. If what you really want is a Hallmark holiday for your kids, make some different choices and prioritize different things.
Anonymous
This! So she’s an angry ball of stress and the type of person who might describe someone else’s law school as a toilet. And one of the reasons she’s angry is because the folks who work for her don’t work hard enough to mess up their own kids’ childhood memories?
I actually don’t think she’s a boomer. Probably elder millennial or gen x who watched boomers achieve real success, bought the hype and thought the grind would pay off. But it didn’t. Shes’s doing ok but isn’t wealthy and she works much harder than any boomer dude partner ever did. Now the younger lawyers are looking at her like “umm I’ll take the money but I’m not going to work myself into a crazed person for an upper middle class lifestyle.” And that really gets her.
Anon
To be fair, most 26 year old lawyers don’t have kids yet. Professionals tend to have their kids later, so she’s mad that her kids are getting screwed on the holidays because younger attorneys aren’t doing their jobs.
Not trying to start a fight about childless people picking up slack for parents; it’s a different issue when a parent is busting their tail because a 20-something doesn’t want to do their job at all.
Anon
Self inflicted wound. You don’t hire juniors who have been out of school for a few years. They will probably take direction a lot better and you have a much better idea of what their professional (not scholastic) work ethic is.
Anon
I understand your sentiment but, eek, the elitism and attitude is awful. You understand you’re supposed to train juniors right…? That’s part of your job. And if you’re mad they suck, be mad at the hiring team that hired only based on personality and school instead of potential and experience.
Anon
You get it by realizing that there is an entire world of lawyers doing interesting work, with good comp, outside of biglaw, and you leave. Boutique firms, virtual firms, in-house practice, trade associations…there is literally a whole universe of great jobs that biglaw frames as less prestigious/for lower-quality attorneys/a dead end because if more big firm attorneys realized how much better life would be, the big firms would be scr*wed.
Signed,
Former AmLaw50 partner turned incredibly happy in-house attorney
Anonymous
So I’m in what I would call large law but not biglaw, but I have never once in eleven years of practice, even while at trial, billed 300 hours a month–I think my highest ever was 250 or 260? And that was when we were at trial for most of the month. 300 is insane and if you were doing that regularly, I’d find another job.
Anonymous
You probably weren’t billing for time you weren’t working. That is typically how you get to 300-hour months.
Jz
here to commiserate about juniors and midlevels, the turnover is crazy right now and there is no one to do work. I’m basically running deals on my own right now as a senior associate because there is no reliable help and/or the “good” ones are too underwater and also perpetually late and not responsive (as if I’m not?).
Anonymous
Right? The curse of doing work well and on time is ceaseless more work to do. And yet others drop the ball or are not responsive (and yet are still employed — what is their secret???).
Anonymous
Adding to the chorus here. I feel like we’re going to reach a breaking point here soon. This is unsustainable. (And sorry Z-ers, the answer is not to work 37 hours a week and pay you $250K for it. That’s unworkable too…)
Anonymous
Amen. People should get that the math is not sustainable and that it will lead to very short careers.
Anon
Yeah, I think those people haven’t bought into the Big Law mythos though. They don’t care, and the threat of not being a prestigious lawyer doesn’t scare them.
Anonymous
I promise that Small Law is even more unforgiving. So I’m not sure how people are really set up for life after BigLaw exit counseling.
Anon
There’s a middle ground. Really small firms can be more like being a solo practitioner, which can be a hard life. And if you work for a place that’s too small to have HR it can be a messy, toxic work environment. But there are firms with dozens or hundreds of attorneys, with structure and real HR, but that don’t work their employees to death. I live in a small Midwest city and the associates at the “large” firms here (large = a few hundred attorneys) work hard, but they don’t work 80+ hour weeks on a regular basis. Even within Big Law there’s a big range. Bottom of the AmLaw 100 is very different than Skadden or Kirkland. And I think geography matters too. Working for the same firm in Milwaukee is likely a better lifestyle (and lower salary) than working for the same firm in NYC.
Anon
Y’all have zero imagination. It’s shocking to me that people who are supposedly so smart can’t fathom a life different from their own. There are pleeeenty of places a person with a JD can work that are not Big Law, Medium Law, or even Small Law.
Anonymous
We have done the following when stressed like this: reached out to alum parents who have been the stay at home parents to see if they want a short gig to freshen up their resume, taken a returning parent through the formal on-boarding program that is a 90 day internship, and hired contract lawyers through our regular sources.
Anon
thats really smart to reach out to those stay at home parents. also- where are all of these junior lawyers going?
Anonymous
in house, other firms, and there are just fewer of them (and I know one or two who just quit being lawyers all together). Law school enrollment dipped quite a bit after the Great Recession, which would be current mid-levels. I’m a litigator, but my understanding is junior & midlevel transactional associates are in such demand they can basically go anywhere they want right now.
Anonymous
IDK but I feel like their debt is so high that can’t go do Van Life or whatever. And at other jobs like public defender you actually have to do the work and do it for a lot less.
Anon
Look at historical trends in law school applications and matriculants.
Back in the mid aughts, 100,000 students applied to law school and about 48,000 would enroll. Half of the people who applied never set foot in a law school classroom, which means that a lot of people already got weeded out and those who remain knew how competitive things would be. Those people graduated into the thick of the recession.
The new lawyers? 60,000 applicants, 38,000 or so enroll, and with years and years of lower numbers of graduates, aren’t coming into a horribly overcrowded profession. That is good in some ways, but yeah, you’re getting less talented people who didn’t need to work nearly as hard to get there.
Jz
Sorry to add a more helpful response:
I have drawn stronger boundaries since having a baby. For example, I generally do not work 630-830. That is blocked out and i don’t take calls. I also don’t start work until 10 unless there’s a closing or something exceptional. I’m also more likely to say no to deals now. I actually moved from a amlaw 200 firm to now a amlaw50 firm in the last year and it’s worked out. On the flip side of the market and people being able to leave for any firm is that I think you can be pretty firm about all of that and so long as you’re good at what you do, people will respect it. I average 180-200 hours a month but because of the aforementioned black out times it does feel like I’m working around the clock (until midnight most nights). But I’m also in a practice where deal flow isn’t like m&a or ipo so ymmv.
Alanna of Trebond
After I had a baby I decided to never work on the weekend. This generally has worked except during trial, and has been a great. I also don’t work 6:30-8pm each day. Otherwise I work all the time…so YMMV.
Anon
Gorgeous pick!
Where can I buy nicer wrapping paper? I’m so tired of the very thin stuff from target that rips as I try to wrap. Thanks all! Happy Thanksgiving
London (formerly NY) CPA
Paper Source, Papyrus (all the stores closed but it’s back online)
Anon
In years past, Target had multiple “grades” of wrapping paper, so if that’s the most convenient place for you to shop, start there. It’ll say “luxury” wrapping paper or something similarly silly and/or be more expensive or the same price but much less on the roll. The couple of times I got it, I’ll admit that it’s easier to work with.
Cat
+1, I was actually going to suggest Target paper as sturdier without feeling ridiculously “I spent HOW much on stuff that is going to be crumpled into a ball??” Maybe I unknowingly bought their “good stuff.”
Also, Hallmark paper is decent.
Davis
Hallmark has more sturdy paper and a nice grid on the back (for people like me who need help cutting in a straight line).
Anonymous
I would do holiday bonuses to both your housekeeper and her assistant. The Walmart cards are great, as they can also be (quietly) used by the recipient for food.
Anonymous
+ 1, I buy Hallmark gift bags as well.
Anonnymouse
I like to go to Tuesday Morning, TJ Maxx, or Marshalls for wrap – they usually have nice paper that’s discounted.
Pep
I’ve had good luck at TJMaxx/Marshall’s/HomeGoods for nice wrapping paper.
AIMS
+1. Great quality, good designs and cheap.
Anonymous
Same. I like to stock up after the holidays when it gets discounted even further.
Cb
I like the thicker paper, with a print in it. Plus it’s recycleable, some of the really shiny stuff has plastics in it which means it can’t be recycled/thrown into the compost.
OP
Thank you all! I appreciate you!
Elle
Does anyone have a strong opinion about an induction stove versus gas stove? I worry about the indoor air pollution from the gas stove, but I’m not as familiar with induction.
Anon
Like for cooking?
Anonymous
I can’t comment on the induction part specifically, but you’re right to be concerned about indoor air pollution from gas stoves. It’s actually pretty severe and for something that you use every single day of your life, you really want to think about how to reduce your exposure. California is going to ban them from new construction, I believe.
Nesprin
As a Californian, I’m pretty worried about the banning of gas appliances- they turn off the power for weeks at a time in my neighborhood in fire season, and an induction stove alone would take a HEAVY duty generator (let alone an electric water heater or furnace). Our gas stove doesn’t light itself when power’s out, but we can still heat food.
Anon
+1
Ribena
I have experience with both (my mum, who is a food writer, switched from gas to induction a few years ago and I’ve used her stovetop a lot, and I have a gas stove top in my own kitchen).
I would switch to induction in a heartbeat – it’s cleaner, greener, and safer. In particular I wish I could do what my mum does of leaving a pot of soup on an extremely low heat while she’s in another room, because there’s no open flame.
Anon
I mean, I never think twice about leaving the room when I have something over a low gas flame. It’s a know your range thing, but I know my simmer burner will do its thing consistently for hours without my intervention.
Ribena
I have a ‘thing’ about flames and fire! I know most people are a bit more relaxed than I am about it but I just am not. I use my Instant Pot on slow cooker setting instead.
Anonymous
DH did extensive research on this when we remodeled our kitchen last year and decided to go induction, whereas he had previously been all in on gas stoves (he does 90% of our cooking). He loves our GE Cafe induction stove. We have young kids so the safety features are nice, but it also just works really well. To be fair, gas worked really well before and I don’t think he’d tell you that one is uniformly better for cooking than the other, but we were also concerned about indoor air pollution and the remodel was a convenient time to swap out. Apparently you are supposed to run your vent every time you use the stove (esp with gas), not just like I used to only run it when something was sizzling…
Anonymous
My husband bought a portable induction burner for us to use, next to our gas stove, because he wanted to try it out and can’t resist a kitchen gadget. I like the induction a lot – there is much less heat loss, and it doesn’t heat up the room the way gas burners do. Temperature adjustment is very rapid like gas.
Anon
+1 for the induction burner. It’s great for all the reasons above and I will happily buy an induction range when my current electric range goes kaput.
anonshmanon
It’s so amazingly fast, much different from old school electric cooktops!
Anon
I think gas stoves will gradually fade out of existence because of health and environmental reasons.
aBr
Depends on where you live. If you live in SEUS and there is a real chance of a hurricane knocking your power out, you are going to want the gas to be able to boil water as power being out also tends to knock out water treatment.
Anonymous
Tbh, I’m still figuring out my new induction range, but I’m glad not to have the added pollution inside. I’ve thought of getting a cream brûlée torch for when I actually need that functionality from a range, instead of everyday exposure.
Anon
I miss gas so, so much. If you make candy or fussy desserts, the precision can’t be beat.
Aunt Jamesina
I’ve actually found our induction range to be just as precise as gas, and it’s able to hold very low heat. I can melt chocolate directly in the pan without a double boiler.
Anon
So I’ve read about indoor air pollution from gas ranges but have heard nothing about how well a vent mitigates it. I think California’s new standards will require venting so I imagine it must help mitigate some of the air pollution issues. I really prefer a gas cooktop (I have a propane conversion) and turn the vent on when I cook. It’s nice because I live on a mountain and my range isn’t hooked up my generator, so when we lose power I can still use the range. I definitely wouldn’t install an unvented gas range but if you’re concerned it may be worth researching the effect of venting.
Anonymous
I’ve had both and prefer induction. It’s more precise. I have a Bosch so not sure about other brands. Induction has been very popular in Europe for a while now and Europeans take their food seriously.
Anonymous
Love, love, love induction. Especially if you live somewhere hot. It just doesn’t generate the excess heat that gas or traditional electric do. That said, I would do an external vent with either one if possible. It’s good to get the humidity out of the house.
Anonymous
I love my induction one. Very responsive and easy to regulate heat, but more importantly I love the safety features. Mine has separate timers, so I can set one hob to 90 minutes slow simmer, and one for 10 minute eggs etc. Because of the timers I’m comfortable leaving the room, even going out with the trash or to the corner store, because I know that if I get delayed everything will just turn itself off, and nothing is literally burning with actual flames like with gas.
Ch
Aside for all benefits listed above, cleaning an induction stove is a breeze compared to gas.
An.On.
Suggestions for beautiful book collections? I’m looking for something like a Juniper Books or Folio Society type set, priced up to $300 or so. Nothing leather bound, just beautiful hardcover editions of good books, preferably gen fiction, mystery, classic lit. Gift recipient has some of the clothbound Penguins, but I can’t remember which ones, so those are out.
My first choice was the Juniper Books Women in Mystery set, which would have been perfect, but I didn’t order it in time, and my back up choice is also out of stock so I am scrambling now.
Cb
What about Ali Smith season’s quartet? They are nice to read as each season comes around. It would be lovely if Europa did hardcover versions of the Ferrante books.
warm pjs
Thanks for introducing me to the Juniper Books company. Many wonderful things there!
Anonymoose
I can’t seem to find them in a collection, but I have been absolutely drooling over the Folio Society Diana Wynne Jones books. They sell Howl’s Moving Castle, Castle in the Air, and House of Many Ways separately and they look absolutely gorgeous. They are all on my own personal Christmas list. Not posting a link here for mod, but will post the link in the reply.
Opal
I’ve had the same house cleaner for about 10 years. She’s wonderful, a local mom and has had rotating help over the years. I’m never home when they’re here so I don’t know the assistant really at all, but happen to be home today and they’re here now. I trust my house cleaner a lot. Her current assistant is apparently struggling. I think partner is out of work and they have an 18 month old. Housecleaner asked if I had any old clothes from my own daughter who is 3 that we might be looking to offload to help assistant out.
The short answer is I’m in fertility treatments and praying for a second so I’m not dumping clothes just yet. But my instinct was to just hand this woman $100 on the spot and help her out. That feels so much more impactful than donating to a charity, but I don’t want to be awkward or inappropriate either. We make a really good income candidly and we could easily give this woman quite a bit more than $100.
What’s the best course of action? I could go buy clothes and give them to my housecleaner. I don’t have any friends in my circle with kids that small so I can’t easily solicit donations from others. I could do a gift card to our WalMart, where money stretches further. Is any of that appropriate? I’m so willing to help but don’t know how to do it best.
Lola
Can you give it as a Christmas or early holiday bonus? I like the Walmart gift card idea.
Curious
Yes, holiday bonus.
Anonymous
I think I would do a generous “holiday tip,” but I’m not sure if that’s truly the most appropriate. I hear you, though, on wanting to just give money and do what will be most impactful. Curious what others think.
Anonymous
I’d talk to your housecleaner and ask if you could give her a gift that she could use for a Christmas bonus or gift for her assistant, or ask her what kind of gift would be best.
I’ve been in seasons with very little money, and $100 or $200 from someone was an amazing, amazing help.
Anonymous
I would do holiday bonuses to both your housekeeper and her assistant. The Walmart cards are great, as they can also be (quietly) used by the recipient for food.
Anon
Personally I’d give her your daughter’s old clothes. You don’t know if you’ll have a girl and stuff will feel gross to you and out of date by the time you need it again. And taking a giveaway of old clothes feels way less bad than a money handout.
Anon
+1 I think a cash handout might offend her. I’d give her your old stuff and buy new if/when you have a girl.
OP
I know that logically makes sense, but I can’t. Too hard to put in to words why, but it starts with three very recent miscarriages, knowing that two were female embryos. It’s just not how I’m able to help her right now.
Anon
Then you tell her sorry but you’re not in a position to give the clothes away right now. I think you can give her a generous holiday tip as others suggested, but I don’t think it’s appropriate to give her $100 and say “go buy yourself some baby clothes.” Many people who would have no problem accepting used hand-me-downs are going to feel incredibly awkward about accepting cash to buy themselves new versions of the same items.
OP
I am in agreement with you. That’s the whole point of the post.
Lola
Buy some clothes for the little girl from Walmart and give it as a christmas present.
Lily
Buy $100 worth of new baby clothes, take tags off and give them to her. You can pretend they’re used.
tova
vote for giving cash. She might take herself to the thrift store to stretch it farther. As you said, it’s no stretch for you to give the $, and you totally could have been in a situation where you were like “sure! I’ve been meaning to free up that space”.
I occasionally sit at lunch with the senior housekeeper at the hotel I work at, and she told me last year about a neighbor of hers who was having trouble being an undocumented teen who’s parents had left her in the care of other people and was having a big problem with a minor car accident. In addition to discussing some resources I could think of, I passed my friend a gift card for the teen b/c I wanted to help monetarily in her time of need, even if it wasn’t gonna solve much of her problems, could relive some pressure or provide some help.
Anonymous
Put some cash in an envelope, hand it to assistant and say it will make me happy for you to have this. Do it like it’s no big deal, as it isn’t, just people helping others.
anon
On my local FB moms group, if you asked for donations for gently used clothing for an 18-month-old girl for a local family in need of assistance, you’d have more clothes than you knew what to do with by the end of the day–in case that’s an option. Last year when I knew my housecleaner lost a lot of income because of Covid, I gave a Thanksgiving “gift” of $100 in addition to the Christmas bonus so they had some extra money leading up to the holidays. The cash or gift card are both nice ways to help.
warm pjs
+1
This is what I would do.
Cc
I would buy some , wash , and give it to her and lie and say it was my daughters. I would also give more than normal holiday bonus.
Shelle
I’d like to send flowers to a skilled nursing and assisted living facility. Should I call and see if this is allowed or is this routine for these centers? Do I probably need to know the room number? Thank you!
warm pjs
Yes, I would call. Some places don’t allow this.
pugsnbourbon
Also keep in mind that they may not allow glass. My grandpa’s flowers still looked pretty in a plastic pitcher, though.
Anon
Gosh that’s horrible.
Anon
It’s not to be mean, the pollen and soil (and possible fungus gnats, mold, etc.) can be a problem for the facility’s protocols.
Anon
It’s still horrible, sorry. Fresh cut flowers are beautiful and spirit lifting.
Anon
Fake flowers are also beautiful and spirit lifting without the health risks of fresh flowers. It’s standard medical advice that the immunocompromised should avoid fresh flowers, and many people in nursing homes are immunocompromised.
Anonymous
I just recently was in the hospital. After my first time up and walking the hallway, I BEGGED staff to throw out the flowers that my dear friend had sent the day before. It like they were wilting before they even arrived and I had no idea just how awful they smelled until I came back to my room. I can only imagine what that would be like for people with allergies. Unless you are well enough to change water, arrangements can get super gross really fast.
Anon
Flowers are sometimes banned for medical reasons – my mom wasn’t supposed to be around fresh flowers when she was on chemo. It seems like it shouldn’t be a big deal but it can be when your immune system is destroyed.
Anon
Hospital or recovery center, sure, but an assisted living facility is just cold.
Anonymous
can anyone suggest resources for planning to retire, coast, or get entirely new work in your late 40s/50s? We have lots in cash, investment accounts and retirement accounts but it’s a real possibility that both I and my husband will be out of work within 5 years, and we both have niche long-term jobs. We make about $350k now but can pay bills with probably $100k.
Anon
Those three things (retire – on $0 income?, coast – on current income?, find new work – with much lower income?) are all extremely different. I’d figure out what you can actually afford (if you need $100k in income currently, you shouldn’t retire) and go from there. If you want to move into a new line of work in the next five years, it’s probably worth taking classes to get any necessary credentials or doing informational interviews in that field to position yourself to move into it. If you need $100k, you can’t just take any old job, so you’ll have to make sure you’re doing the things that set you up for your chosen second career. Also recognize that any time you’re changing careers there’s an element of luck involved. Source: downgraded from law to a much lower-paying field in my 30s.
Anonymous
Find a financial advisor, preferably fee only (flat fee). The NAPFA website is a good place to start. The right advisor can be extremely helpful. For podcasts, I like The Retirement Answer Man and Ready for Retirement. The Retirement Manifesto is a good blog with a lot of back posts to read. You can also join the Facebook group Taxes in Retirement, which can be a bit detailed but tax planning is very important.
Anonymous
Yikes, it sounds like you will need to transition to a new field. I would assess what that can be in your geographic area, and figure out if you need additional education and start networking now.
Kelly
Pay bills or live a life you’re happy with for $100k? (Including medical, saving for home maintenance and car replacement on top of the fun parts like travel.) If the latter, and your retirement savings are where they need to be, with a hard push to save your excess these next five years you can probably make it work. I’d try hard to get a strong handle on what your outgoes truly are and then you’ll have a better idea.
Anonymous
Can any other attorneys comment on when they stop work on projects for clients with delinquent bills? I have a major client that has still not paid $20k for work done in June and July. It’s not a matter of them not having the money, it is truly red tape nonsense and their complicated internal systems. They’ve said over and over they’re so sorry and are working on it, but at this point I will not get credit for it this year and my pay and bonus will suffer. I feel like a sucker for continuing to work late nights and through holidays for a client like this.
Anonymous
That far delinquent I’d stop unless (a) that’s small compared with their normal bills (maybe they’ve paid you $200k earlier this year and you expect the same next year) AND (b) there is something special about that $20k that justifies it being late, but they are otherwise current on other more recent invoices. Then their overall relationship probably isn’t worth tanking for the $20k. Otherwise, if that $20k isn’t an exception, consider that if they’re 6 months late on that work, any work you do now probably isn’t getting paid until next summer…no thanks, they are taking advantage of you and your time would be better spent developing another client. Good luck to them finding another firm that will do work on that kind of payment time.
Anon
Well they have no incentive to work harder on getting you paid when you’re busting your -ss for free.
Anon
I manage outside counsel and approve billing. You get someone in your firm (paralegal or whomever is responsible for this) to chase it down. Billing mistakes happen, and you might find that money was misapplied, bills were sent to a person who is no longer there, etc.
If they aren’t paying, you have a conversation with them about your inability to continue providing services.
Anon
Not an attorney but work for an org with annoying internal processes.
Is it all their internal process? My company owes another $10k but we cannot pay it because we need something from them for our process (a signed contract!). They know that. I would just make sure they have everything they need before getting too pissed. Otherwise, yeah, I would probably tell them you cannot continue work without payment unless this is just a small fraction of their total. One thing that sometimes helps is telling people you need it by the end of the year for your internal processes (you don’t have to give detail about the process).
Anon
procurement here. we have thousands of vendors abd lots of overdue bills (multi billion company) but what gets emergency payment is turning off critical services.
does anyine there know that you are going to get screwed in bonus? have you given them a week to pay you but pause all work. check with your firm to make sure that’s OK.