What Household Tasks Do You Love and Hate?
I was intrigued by some reader responses to recent posts on household tasks, including last week's post on how to iron less (where many readers noted they loved to iron!) and our discussion on CorporetteMoms of how their families handle laundry (where many readers noted they personally do 90% of it). So here's a fun little question for today: what household tasks do you love and hate? What chores are you surprised you do (that you may have sworn in your youth you'd never do)? Are there household tasks that you outsource not because you hate them, but because they're easiest to outsource? Finally, for those of you who have partners or roommates, how do you split household tasks — and have you had to adjust your standard of “clean” in exchange for someone other than you doing the chore or task?
For my $.02, I got into this a bit with our discussion of making the bed every day — in my youth I couldn't have thought of a more pointless activity, and swore up and down I'd never do it. Of course, these days I make my bed every morning — but now I swear up and down that I will let my kids' beds be messy. I'm also surprised by how much I love things like grocery shopping. In terms of adjusting the standard of “clean” — my husband and I are a great match in that we have largely similar ideas of what's dirty and clean; if there's a 10-point scale I may be a 4 on some things where he's a 6 on them, and vice versa, and those tasks naturally fall to us. I'm grateful I read Lean In fairly early on as a wife and mother because I've totally taken Sandberg's advice to heart — she advised women to avoid “maternal gatekeeping,” which she described as the fancy term for “‘Ohmigod, that's not the way you do it! Just move aside and let me!'”, and specifically noted
[w]henever a married woman asks me for advice on coparenting with a husband, I tell her to let him put the diaper on the baby any way he wants as long as he's doing it himself. And if he gets up to deal with the diaper before being asked, she should smile even if he puts that diaper on the baby's head. Over time, if he does things his way, he'll find the correct end. But if he's forced to do things her way, pretty soon she'll be doing them herself.
YES. So even though in my family we're past the diaper stage (thank goodness), one of those things that I sometimes find myself swearing that I will or won't do with regard to household tasks relates back to Sandberg's advice — I will let him put the diaper on the baby's head. I find it to be true of everything, from sorting laundry to dishes to more.
Ladies, what about you — what household tasks do you love, and which do you hate? (Do you outsource anything you love just because it's easiest to outsource?) Are you surprised about any of those tasks — things you maybe swore you wouldn't do in younger years? Which tasks do you let your partner or roommate do, but grit your teeth (because she or he is putting the diaper on the baby's head)?
Stock photo: Deposit Photos / olly18.
OMG I hate doing dishes sooo much. I don’t have a dishwasher, which would probably make me hate this task a little less, but honestly not much. I just hate washing dishes. By extension I hate cooking — it’s just more dishes I have to do!
On the other hand, I ALWAYS make my bed, every single morning. The rest of my house could be literally falling down and my bed would look nice and neat. I also like doing laundry. I don’t mind things like cleaning the bathroom; that task always makes me feel so productive and usually the results are pretty immediate and visible.
(Generally) love cooking. Don’t mind doing dishes or cleaning up the kitchen but hate putting the clean dishes away.
Love doing organizing projects. Love it.
Hate laundry because there are so many steps! Washer, dryer, unload dryer, fold, put away. Ugh. And then you have to do all of it again next week. My husband and I each do our own laundry to the extent we don’t send it out.
We outsource most of the yard work (he does some of it because he likes it)) and the house cleaning (weekly service) and a lot of the laundry (just had an ah-ha moment last weekend that the table linens can go to the cleaners after a dinner party instead of being washed and ironed by us!). Beyond that my husband and I mercifully have a similar tolerance for clutter (fairly high but not unlimited) and dirt (fairly low but it’s generally not an issue because see “outsource,” above).
We share the cooking and grocery shopping (which isn’t much because we do Blue Apron every week). I do most of the paperworky stuff and he does almost all of what we call “physical plant” — repairs and maintenance on the house.
I like all aspects of doing laundry, from sorting to folding to steaming/ironing. Beyond that, I am picky about how my clothes turn out, so I’m very reluctant to hand over this task to anyone. DH and 15yo can do their own clothes, but not mine! :-)
I also quite like cooking, if I am not too rushed, and scrubbing porcelain sinks.
I LOVE cleaning out closets and organizing anything.
I like washing dishes and laundry.
I don’t like cooking or vacuuming.
I hate grocery shopping. HATE IT. Luckily husband doesn’t mind it.
I love cooking, but NOT cleaneing up.
I do NOT like to wash dishes, clotheing, or mopping up vomit from my ex, Alan
I do NOT like vaccuming.
I love shopping for food at Whole Foods and Fairways, but NOT carrying it home
I also do NOT like cleaning toilets or bathrooms, that is for the cleaning lady.
I love taking hot showers and then watching TV in my terry clothe robe, and most importantly.
I love lounging around after an evening of s-x with the RIGHT man!
If any men read this and want to marry me, I will consider all offers from SUITABLE men. YAY!!!
I love laundry – the smell of detergent and drier sheets, the warmth of the dryer, everything :)
Favorite chores: Laundry/folding/ironing and general organizing. Grocery shopping. Tending to garden.
Don’t mind: Doing dishes (though I hate emptying the dishwasher for whatever weird reason), vacuuming/dusting.
Dislike: Cooking, taking trash out (primarily DH’s responsibility)
Loathe: Bathroom cleaning (DH’s responsibility).
Bathroom cleaning falls into “don’t mind” for DH, and cooking falls into “Favorite” for him, while laundry is a “Loathe” for him, so I feel like we have a fair split of daily responsibilities AND weekend/periodic responsibilities.
On the “maternal gatekeeping” thing:
One older sibling was (and is) very domineering and condescending. Growing up, I often wanted to just shout: “You’re not my mom! I have two competent parents. Enough!”
I can’t change that person, but I can ensure that I don’t treat other people that way. It was so disrespectful (and hurtful). I make mistakes, because I’m human. I made mistakes, because I was a little kid and human.
I don’t want to do that to my fiance: he’s an extraordinarily competent man, and I love him and respect him. If he makes mistakes, so what? Mistakes can be fixed far more easily than damage to our relationship.
That’s such a great point: Mistakes can be fixed far more easily than damage to the relationship.
I feel like that should be on a sampler somewhere.
That is a really, really great point.
Love – Cooking, making the bed, organizing (especially organizing cooking stuff, pantry and refrigerator).
Hate – Putting away laundry, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, and taking out stinky trash. And although I love organizing, I HATE dealing with clutter (mostly because it’s my husband’s, who doesn’t mind clutter).
Don’t mind – Pretty much everything else. I don’t love living with pet hair, but accept it as the price of having my adorable cat and dog.
Oh man. I don’t mind every other step of laundry but putting the clothes away always seems like an insurmountable task.
Putting away anything! Dishes, laundry, packages from the mail…
LOVE
Organizing
Laundry
Cooking (sometimes)
HATE
Vacuuming
Dusting
I hate everything, but I love having a clean house. Least favourite are vacuuming and scrubbing the bathtub.
My mother gave up on me making my 30 years ago. The only time it’s made is when I have a guest. I’m perfectly fine with that. I love my bed, and I hang out in it when I get home from work, so what’s the point in making it?
Like-yard work (I am in an ongoing battle with my backyard to actually get grass to grow.)
Hate-cleaning the bathroom
I don’t mind everything else. I’d prefer not to spend time cleaning, but I recognize it is a necessary evil (Until I get around to hiring a maid. Gotta do that)
Love: Laundry, organizing things, doing yard work. So satisfying.
Don’t mind: Dusting, vacuuming, bathrooms, doing dishes.
Hate: Sweeping, because it never freaking ends when you have kids. Putting away dishes, meal planning and grocery shopping. (I do it anyway because otherwise we’ll eat PBJ every night.) Cleaning the litter box.
Love:
– Organizing, particularly if it includes purging (donating/recycling/disposing)
– Cleaning — I am really good at it and super particular; both for my office and my house. I am known at my workplace for having the most impeccable and organized office and it makes me so happy to be complimented on that (huge nerd here).
– Making my house look like I don’t have a dog (I have special hair salon “brooms” and other tools to have minimal to none hair at my house or on my furniture)
– Ironing and steaming my clothes
– Keeping my fridge incredibly well organized (I want my entire house to look like The Home Edit organized it, haha)
Hate:
– Folding laundry
– Grocery shopping
Yes! I enjoy organizing and purging closets, drawers, desks, etc., so much that it didn’t even occur to me as a “household task.”
I have a ridiculously spic-and-span office. Like you, I feel secretly pleased/smug when people marvel. :-)
Hate unloading the dishwasher. I will leave it for the longest time and keep taking out one clean dish at a time. So silly.
Love doing laundry.
I really don’t like any household chores except cooking. Our sitter is also our housecleaner and its the best thing ever because she straightens every day so I come home to a clean ish house.
Love: Cooking, organizing, most all general housekeeping tasks (dusting, vacuuming, straightening up). I don’t even mind major spring/fall cleaning
Hate: Cleaning out the refrigerator, yardwork (unless it’s working in my garden and flower beds,) cleaning the garage (there are spiders in the garage.)
Grocery shopping is SO much fun! I love wandering around looking at ingredients and visualizing their potential. However, if I have to get ingredients for a specific recipe, I will Instacart them. I don’t like going shopping with a list. That’s a task, not an adventure.
I like cooking, but not the planning to cook.
I hate ironing and send everything out. I don’t mind day-to-day cleaning and straightening, but I outsource the deep cleaning. I don’t mind other aspects of laundry. I love purging closets and drawers.
Love: Grocery shopping and other errands. Planning and organizational activities. Yard work, when it’s not too hot.
Don’t mind: Dishes, scrubbing down the kitchen, cleaning the bathroom. Starting laundry.
Hate: Folding and putting away laundry. Scooping the litter box. Taking out the trash.
I also love cooking and baking, but only as a creative project, and not as a chore. So, I love spending a whole weekend day on a massive cooking project, but I hate coming home at 6:00 and having to get dinner on the table at 6:30. DH does all the cooking in our house unless I’m feeling creative on the weekends.
I hate washing dishes, sweeping, mopping, cleaning out toilets, and taking out the trash.
I love making the bed, doing laundry, and vacuuming.
I don’t mind loading the dishwasher, but nothing sends me from calm to 100-degree rage than someone criticizing how I do it. If I’m loading and hear so much as a “You know, if you …” I leave the kitchen. Drives. Me. Nuts.
I like cooking and don’t mind cleanup/dishes (we have a dishwasher, so it’s just loading and unloading). I don’t mind grocery shopping, but I have started using Prime Now for delivery instead because it’s one less errand to do.
My husband likes yard work and all car maintenance, so he does that (unless it requires a mechanic).
Neither of us likes to clean bathrooms or floors, so we have a cleaning service that comes in once a month (plus they change bed linens and dust, which is nice). Neither of us particularly likes doing laundry so we each do our own.
Neither of us likes cleaning up after our pets (litter box scooping and dog poop scooping from the yard) but we split it evenly between us so it’s fair. If only we could train the animals to clean up after themselves, haha!
Break-down of chores in my household:
Outsource: house cleaning (she comes every two weeks, I do in-between small clean-ups – but with no pets and no kids the house stays pretty clean)
Me (she): All the laundry
Me: All the cooking
Partner (he): All the dishes and related clean up
Partner: lawn mowing
Partner: Grocery Shopping
Shared: trash, making bed, raking leaves/other outdoor clean-up activities
*Reference – I work in mid-size law a senior associate (up for partnership this year). He works for the federal government as a software development – he has a great job but WAY more down time than me.
Things I actually enjoy:
Ironing
Dusting
Tidying up (taking a messy room and putting everything back where it belongs)
Anything involving power tools–putting up curtain rods, assembling furniture, etc.
Things I’m neutral on:
Washing dishes/running the dishwasher/emptying the dishwasher
Taking out trash/recycling
Cleaning the bathroom
Cleaning the kitchen
Cleaning the litter box
Making the bed
Things I don’t like:
Vacuuming–it’s too noisy
Laundry–the washer & dryer are two narrow, twisting flights of stairs below my apartment and I hate lugging the laundry basket up and down
Changing the sheets–there’s never anyplace to put the comforter while the sheet changing is going on
Me:
My/kid laundry
All the meal planning and cooking
Clean up after cooking, my dishes
Online groceries
Partner:
His laundry
His dishes
Live grocery shopping
Major portion of cleanup/declutter before housekeepers
Enjoy:
Cooking
Online grocery shopping
Ironing, but hate the ironing board. Maybe I need to get a fold-out one.
Decluttering closets
Impartial:
Laundry
But I dislike that I’m the only one who sorts kid’s laundry. Like she only has one parent.
Hate:
Dishes
Vacuuming because the vacuum is so heavy. I liked doing it with a small light one but of course it died. Thankfully now this is outsourced.
Live grocery shopping. HATE our local Safeway. Like really hate. Thankfully DH does it. At our Safeway, if you want to buy hard liquor, you now have to wait in front of the glass case, they show up and open the case, then they take the bottle (you can’t touch it) over to a separate register where the person is talking on the phone for 10 minutes before ringing you up, and then, and only then, can you go to checkout the rest of your groceries. It adds like half an hour to the shopping trip. Def don’t need that bottle this bad!
I haaaaate vacuuming and ironing… maybe because those are two tasks that I find make me get hot and irritated. I seriously used to let my ironing pile up for months at a time until my mom would come visit (and I mean, well into my 30s). Now I pay my cleaning lady extra to do it (and the vacuuming, obv.)
I don’t mind washing dishes or doing laundry, although I have a tendency to let both pile up. I weirdly love those days when I can work from home and get those tasks done… when it’s a weekend, it’s another chore, but when it’s in the middle of a workday, washing a sinkful of dishes is kind of therapeutic. (I do have a dishwasher but some things need to be done by hand!)
+ vacuuming and bathrooms (in the minority here!)
– folding laundry and putting it away – for my kids to mess up immediately
completely avoid making beds, whoops!
very rarely dust or deep clean