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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 257 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Houndstooth Blazer

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. zara houndstooth blazerThis may be one of the odder pictures I've used to illustrate a post, but I chose it because a) the model looks like a zombie in the straight-on pictures and b) you can't really see the cool blue details, like the elbow patches or the tipping on the pocket. This, like many other styles at Zara right now, is on a pretty great discount — but like many, it's also available in limited sizes. It was $99, but is now $39; it's available in sizes S and XL. Zara Houndstooth Blazer Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-0)

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Comments

  1. Sydney Bristow

    Hmmm. I like the blue piping on the pocket, but I’m not a fan of the elbow patches.

    I could use some snack ideas for an upcoming road trip. I’m planning to bring granola bars and some nuts, but other than that I’m stumped. We will be driving for about a week and I’m guessing that our actual meals will not be the healthiest, so of like some healthy things in the car with me. Ideally I can get them easily at any grocery store, but I’m willing to make a Trader Joe’s trip before we leave. Bonus points for ideas that have protein since I try to eat more protein than carbs in general.

      • anon

        i would leave someone on the side of the road for eating canned tuna on a road trip, whether it was high quality or not.

          • tesyaa

            I have to laugh at myself, because my own son leaves the room when tuna is served and refuses to return until the room has been fumigated :) He’d probably jump out of the car if a can of tuna was opened, even at highway speeds.

            I was picturing a picnic table at a rest stop, not actually eating the tuna in the car.

      • Walnut

        I was doing a large dog transport for a rescue group and made the mistake of coaxing a dog into eating its dry food by mixing in some tuna. That dog was able to retain an amazing amount of tuna in is jowls. I’m still not sure I’ve entirely removed the tuna slobber from the back of my vehicle….

        • Granola

          My dog likes to sit behind me in the car and breathe hot tuna breath on my neck.

          • Susedna

            LOL! Tuna breath is just so unacceptable to me (in humans), but I’ll tolerate it in dogs.

            Btw, did you manage to dislodge that pestilential borderline stalkery guy? I hope he’s not still trying to contact you.

          • Granola

            Thanks for asking. I wrote him a very stern email along the lines of “time to move on, stop contacting me, I will never be interested in dating you” and got no response, which I thought was potentially a good sign that he got the message finally and backed off. But, a week later I got an email from him where he completely ignored what I had said my email – like he had never read it (although I know he did). He told me he’s missing me, can’t wait to see me again, blah blah. It was like that episode of friends where Chandler’s crazy roommate (Eddie?) acts like their conversation about him moving out never happened. Bizarre.

            I’m not responding to him any more, and the emails/texts are becoming more infrequent (about one a week now), so I’m hoping he’s starting to lose interest. I hope that’s the end of the matter, but I’m also keeping a file of everything just in case.

          • Susedna

            Good for you for shutting him down and for documenting. And I, too, take the reduction in frequency (of his emails & texts) as a good thing. I’m hoping he gives up on chasing the unwilling & uninterested and gets some therapy. :-)

      • January

        Tesyaa, your son and I can totally be BFFs. My own mom does not understand my aversion to tuna.

        • KC

          Right there with you! My family still finds it humorous that I literally turn green around canned tuna. I have no problem with grilled fresh tuna, but I have a particularly strong aversion to the smell or sight of the canned version.

    • mascot

      Hardboiled eggs, string cheese, individual cottage cheese, those will last for the first couple of days with some ice. Do you have a World Market nearby? They have some fun snack foods. I like the snack packs of seaweed, individual hummus, and peanut butter. I’ve also had good luck using yelp and the internet to find local delis and such to stop at for supplies for a picnic lunch. We’ll then take it to a park/ rest area and eat. Much nicer than yet another drive-through chain.

    • lawsuited

      Dried fruit like apricots and apple slices will keep in the car, and are reasonably healthy.

    • A Nonny Moose

      Kale chips! I always feel like I don’t get enough greens on road trips.

    • Anonymous

      Buy some lunch meat or protein, buns, mustard/mayo, and cheese. Keep ice in a cooler so you can eat that with some raw veggies (carrots, celery, broccoli). Or PB&J sandwiches.

    • Sydney Bristow

      I knew you all would be super helpful! Thanks!

      We are actually flying to Colorado and then renting a car, so we will have a cooler bag but not a ton of space. I’ll definitely use a bunch of the suggestions that don’t need to be kept cold and try to squeeze some of the cold suggestions in if the bag is big enough. Thanks so much!

      • Houston Attny

        Not to your direct question, but check out the Hungry Girl website if you might be swinging through fast food joints. In her e-mails, she regularly talks about some of the healthy (and actually some of the secret, off-the-menu) options at some chain restaurants. Sometimes, at least for me, it’s helpful to know some of the healthy alternatives just in case. Have fun!

    • Alice

      Edamame!

      Smoked salmon + cream cheese on rye crispbread (pretty low-carb)….doesn’t need to be kept cool if you eat it in one go.

    • AttiredAttorney

      Trader Joe’s is my go-to for healthy, non perishable snacks. I like their single serving packs of unsweetened applesauce, trail mix, dried fruit, turkey jerky, seaweed, and freeze dried (or roasted?) green beans. You do have to watch the calorie count on these things though – while they’re more nutrient rich than many on the road meals, they’re not exactly low cal, so I portion them out in individual serving baggies to keep the calories in check.

      • Sydney Bristow

        I was thinking I’d wind up making a Trader Joe’s trip. Hopefully there is enough room in my suitcase to get it out there (or that I can convince everyone to find a Trader Joe’s once we land before embarking on the long drive)!

        • Anon

          Unfortunately the Colorado TJs are still a work in progress :( But there are plenty of good health food stores in the state (especially if you’re going north through Boulder!).

          • Sydney Bristow

            Good to know. Thanks! I’m not in charge of the itinerary and am literally just along for the ride, but I’ll remember that if we drive through Boulder.

    • Batgirl

      I brought a big old jar of peanut butter and a box of crackers on my last road trip. Can work as a meal substitute in a pinch! Dried fruit is also great!

    • Miz Swizz

      I’m a huge fan of House of Jerky’s selection. It reminds me of the stuff one of my dad’s friends made at home. They offer free shipping and the packs are nice and slim so you can fit them in a cooler bag and not take up much space.

      • Anonymous Poser

        Why didn’t I think of that??
        Second the recommendation for House of Jerky’s product :-)

        If you get the smaller packs and eat each pack all in one go, there’s no need for putting it in the cooler bag…

  2. Mpls

    Cheese sticks/string cheese, cut up fruit, beef jerky, sunflower seeds (salted and in the shell – can help you stay awake during long driving stretches), raisins to mix with your nuts. A small cooler with some freezie packs or frozen water bottles can help keep stuff cool.

        • AIMS

          My favorite thing to get on road trips involves stopping at random farm stands and markets. If that’s a possibility (and you can use your iphone to look as you drive), you can get tons of healthy things right now like sugar snap peas, cherries, etc.

          For something to make ahead, roast some canned chickpeas with your favorite seasoning. Super easy and cheap, and contains a good amount of protein to keep you full.

          • Anonymous

            This is a great idea. Fruit is an awesome snack and road stand fresh fruit is so delicious.

  4. Anon

    Headed to Key West next week for some much needed post-bar R+R. I have a general idea of what we’ll be doing there but if there are any must-dos please advise! Also seeking any tips for what to wear down there– how dressy is it? We plan on eating at at least one nice restaurant and doing lots of just walking around and lying by the pool. Thanks!

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      It’s very relaxed/casual for dress code.

      I went last October and would say whatever you do, get yourself at a good spot for the sunset, it really is beautiful. We got some seats at the beachside Hyatt, but there are tons of cruises that go out at sunset!

      There is a cool cocktail bar that has trees inside and the entrance is off a side street called Virgilio’s. I also liked wandering around the beach in the state park.

      • Cheers

        Must do: Lazy Dog Kayak and Paddle Board; Louie’s Backyard for drinks and upscale dinner; Turtle Krawls for drink and snack; and rent a bike to wander around.

  5. Cornellian

    My Nordstrom Haul:

    Classiques Entier® Pleat Neck Silk Blend Jersey Top, which is the holy grail of tops, I think. It’s flattering on my athletic small busted figure, comes high up on the neck, has interesting details at the neck, and covers my bra totally if I take my jacket/cardigan off. I got an XS, I’m 5’4 120 and sort of athletically built.

    Halogen® Back Zip Blouse, which I sent back. It looks cheap in person, and is cut very wide and short, even in the XS.

    Halogen® Trim Sweater Jacket, which is a great structured cardigan. I like the two tones and it’s super soft. XS fits me well.

    Suzi Chin for Maggy Boutique Ruched Faux Wrap Dress, which is amazing. this is my second identical dress, and the third suzi chin for Maggy wrap dress. I wear a 2P which comes to my kneecaps at 5’4. Amazing dress!

    Liebeskind ‘Marilyn Botalato’ Satchel, Medium, which seems like a great bag. I’m not in to purses, but like the sort of schoolboy/professor vibe to this. It’s a cross-body bag and I wish there was one more hole in the strap to make it shorter, but it’s sized well for a petite-esque woman.

  6. Wardrobe Budget - From Scratch

    Ladies, imagine you had to start a completely new wardrobe from scratch. Professional (ex. quality long lasting pieces, not necessarily cheap holdovers) and personal (ex. a blend of H&M, a blend of Nordstrom). How much do you think it would cost? I’m talking everything from bras to suits. My guess was around 8-10k.

    • tesyaa

      More than $8-$10K if you are buying new (as opposed to used on eBay) and including shoes and bags. I’d say much more.

      • Wardrobe Budget - From Scratch

        Disregarding shoes and bags, sorry should have included that.

    • Walnut

      It depends on if you’re shopping for the entire wardrobe in a single weekend or if you’re making an epic list of every new item you intend to buy over a period of time. I think you could shop the sales and get it for under $5k.

    • Anonymous

      They seem to get a mix of quality and cheaper items on What Not to Wear for $5,000. I don’t think they usually get undergarments (or at least they don’t show it) so I’d add $500 for a good rotation of lingerie.

    • Merabella

      I think it depends on what you consider a “wardrobe” – is it enough outfits for 2 weeks of work/2 weekends worth? How many bras/underwear?

      I think you could probably get 2 full suits (pants skirt and jacket in neutrals) for about $2000 (I don’t normally buy suits, but I would think this is on the higher end and including tailoring) and then add in about $2000 for tops (I would include sweaters/cardigans in this category). So work Wardrobe about $4000-5000. If you work in a business casual environment – you wouldn’t necessarily need 2 full suits and could spend less here – also you could include some of your casual stuff in.

      I would say $8000 could give you plenty of options.

    • Anonymous

      I was thinking recently that I need to make a list of my wardrobe for insurance purposes, because it would cost a fortune to replace. I guessed $8k, but when I did the rough math (not including bags and jewellery, because that’s a whole different ball game) it’s double:

      Blouses – average $60 x 30
      Work pants – average $60 x 10 pairs
      Yoga pants – average $90 x 8 pairs
      Jeans – average $100 x 6 pairs
      Suits – average $200 x 6 suits
      Dresses – average $120 x 15
      Shoes – average $90 x 40 pairs (including heels, flats, running shoes)
      Coats – average $150 x 10 (including winter coats, trench coats, raincoats)
      Sweaters – average $40 x 15
      T-shirts – average $15 x 30
      Bras – average $100 x 8
      Underwear – average $20 x 30

      I tend to shop at deep discounts, so it would cost even more to replace if my wardrobe was wiped out all at once and I was forced to pay regular retail prices for everything. What really blows my mind is that my underwear cost $600!

      • Sydney Bristow

        Wow, now I really want to calculate the amounts for my wardrobe. I’m sure it’s much higher than I’d guess.

      • anonohnoooo

        After reading this, I cant even begin to imagine what mine looks like. my shoes alone cost more than this (average $300 x 75 pairs =22,500). holy cow.

        • TCFKAG

          I am going to show this to Mr. TCFKAG to make him feel better about my shoe collection. thank you. :-)

        • Brooklyn Paralegal

          This reminds me of the SATC episode when Miranda has Carrie calculate the worth of her closet and it’s totally exorbitant.

          • A Nonny Moose

            Or the “I will literally be the old woman who lived in her shoes” episode.

        • HappyHoya

          Do you mind if I ask how long your shoes last? Any context like how much you walk and how often you wear each pair would also be helpful. I tend to go through my shoes very, very quickly. I walk a lot (even when I change shoes for my walking commute) and I am destroying shoes at what I’m sure is a record-breaking rate. I rarely spend more than $100 for a pair of non-boot shoes, and I am wondering if I would get more mileage out of better quality shoes. Many of my shoes are purchased on sale, so they’re not necessarily poor quality, but think along the lines of Naturalizer, BCBG/BCBGirls, Me Too, occassional Sam Edelman, etc. I don’t want to buy a $300 pair of shoes only to find that I am similarly rough on them, and they are destroyed within one season of wear. However, I am starting to get annoyed at the frequency with which I have to bring my shoes to cobbler or shop for new ones. In your experience, does price=quality for shoes, or is it more a matter of fashion?

          • anonohnoooo

            sure. because i love shoes, i spend a lot of money on them. i do also find they are more comfortable. and in fairness, some of the 75 pairs or so cost quite a bit less (75-150) than 300, but many cost quite a bit more (800-1000), so i just averaged. I’ve found that stuart weitzman and manolos are best for me. they are most comfortable and last the longest, including the many 4 in. pairs, so those brands comprise at least 50% of my collection.

            And because i have so many shoes, i rarely wear a give shoe more than once or twice a week — i try not to wear the same shoe 2 days in a row. So my shoes last years.

            But, my workhorse shoes — a black patent SW Platswoon (4in) and my basic black kid leather manolo (classic)– have been worn probably 1-2 times a week for the past 3/4 years, respectively. both look worn but wearable and have had the heels replaced a few times. the platswoon needs to be fully replaced for comfort reasons at this point, and the manolo will need to be replaced soon. I have lower versions of these shoes as well that generally last about the same amount of time. So in my experience, price does = quality.

          • HappyHoya

            Thanks, anonohnoooo. I can certainly afford slightly better shoes (or, at least I can afford them more than I can afford time to shop!), so I think I’m going to have to give some better brands a try. I suspect it might help if I rotated shoes more often, since I have a tendency to fall into a rut with whatever is comfortable and wear the same pair a few days in a row.

        • Anonymous

          I have two pair of the Zella yoga pants at $50 – $60 a pop and they are awesome. I wear them all the time (to yoga and other exercise-related endeavors). I was not a believer in the power of pricey yoga pants until I tried them.

          • anonohnoooo

            these are my favs, better than lulu and lucy. and they are currently on sale in the 30-40 range at NAS

          • anon

            i’m trying to find a lulu replacement :( I tried yoga smoga and the fabric is just not as soft as the old luon. I will have to check out zella…

          • Granola

            Oooh, I need new yoga pants (my Target ones are just not holding up anymore). Which Zellas do you like? I’m looking at the Nordstro m website.

          • anonohnoooo

            i like the live in leggings. they come in a variety of colors and lengths. and some are reversable, which is nice when traveling. i also just bought the capri length with the little slit at the calf, and it has this pretty lace looking stuff.

        • Olivia Pope

          Expensive yoga pants are worth it, I think, when you actually do some serious yoga (or other physical activity). My yoga pants are for lazing about the house and running errands, so the cheap stuff for me!

      • L

        Ha, this is what I was doing last night (hence the question) I was trying to figure out, if I had to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe again what would it actually cost. DH thought I was ridiculous when I said probably around 10-12k to have some semblance of what I wanted/have, but retail is expensive! Plus tailoring. Yeesh.

      • Walnut

        Wow. I have a fraction of the number of clothes in my wardrobe. I’m not sure if I should be embarassed or happy that it doesn’t take me long to do laundry and clean my closet.

        • Anon minimalist

          +1

          I am still trying to wrap my brain around 8 pairs of yoga pants?!!! Not saying whoever posted that doesn’t need them, but it’s so vastly different from my own wardrobe.

          • momentsofabsurdity

            I have a lot of pairs of workout pants because I don’t have laundry in my building and I work out every day. So to do laundry once a week, I have to have at least 5-6 pairs of workout bottoms (they’re not all yoga pants but most are). I think I actually have 7, which puts me comfortably through a week before I have to do laundry.

          • National_Anthem

            Yeah, I definitely have more than 8 pairs of yoga pants… regular workouts + no personal washing machine = stockpiling workout clothes.

          • lawsuited

            I was tha Anonymous at 10:19. I have 8 pairs of Lululemon yoga pants in varying styles that I wear for working out and for lounge pants in the evenings and weekends. I also have a pair in my office for loooong nights.

          • Anon minimalist

            This totally makes sense! I rotate through a few pairs of running shorts, and I probably shouldn’t admit this but when I hop in for a post-run shower, I wash them too. I can see how this wouldn’t work for heavier yoga pants though.

      • TO Lawyer

        I’m terrified to do this for my wardrobe. Is this one of the areas where ignorance is bliss?

      • Anonymous

        It’s funny to read the variation. I gather some people think this is too little but this budget seems super trimmable to me and these prices aren’t even close to what I’d pay.

        Granted, I work in a casual office, and make very little money, so a lot of my clothes can do double duty but my list would look like:

        1) Blouses – a mix of H&M, F21, Express, Gap/AT/BR on sale – $25-30/per
        2) Jeans – Express, Nordstrom on deep sale – $30-40/per
        3) Yoga pants – average $15 from Target, F21,
        4) Suits – average $120, again on super sale only
        5) Dresses – average $40 per, mostly on deep discount or from more inexpensive stores
        6) Shoes – average $50 (mix of flats, athletic shoes and heels)
        7) Coats – average $80
        8) Sweaters – from LEC, Kohls, TH on sale, Nordstrom on sale average $30
        9) T-shirts – average $5 since I nearly always by the 4 for 20 deals at H&M or F21
        10) Bras – average $20 (PINK Tshirt bras are my staple)
        11) Underwear – average $5 x way too many pairs (I always hit up the VS 5 for 25)

        I’m interested to revisit this list in 10 years or so (I’m 25 now) to see how my tastes and budget have changed as (hopefully) my income has increased.

        • Anon

          Yep, this is way more my speed. I have zero pairs of $300 shoes. And I have probably 200% more of everything than I actually need.

        • Calibrachoa

          i am in this end too, except i have a few pairs of pricey boots … doc martens and new rocks.

          I also appear to have 2 laundry baskets of nothing but socks *facepalm*

        • anonohnoooo

          in fairness, im in the 10 years from now range (37). 10 years ago, i had much, much less expensive clothes and shoes. i bought my first pair of *expensive* shoes about 10 years ago — a pair of via spigas that were $150 and then a pair of manolos that were 365, but on sale for $150. and i never would have spent what i do now on clothes (i.e., a $150 blouse or a $1000 dress would have never even been considered, but its pretty regular now). i eased into spending more and spent in line with my earning. Im a partner at a big firm, and so is my husband. we make sure we can easily take care of our family, or i wouldt spend this much.

          • anonohnoooo

            well, this was 10 years ago when the normal price was only 365, and then they were on a sale rack at neiman. these days, if you can find them on sale for 365, thats a total score.

          • Walnut

            I bought manolos on ebay from a reputable seller lightly worn for ~$450. I also saw another ebay seller in my exact shoe size liqudating most of her designer shoe collection. Sadly, my shoe budget is exactly $0 for the rest of the year.

          • anonohnoooo

            I recently purchased 2 pair of manolos on therealreal — and online designer consignment store. one pair was $250 and slightly worn but totally fine. the other pair was brand spanking new and was somehow only $150.

        • Anonymous

          Also 25, and this is almost exactly my wardrobe, with several skirts from the Limited (~$30 each) and a few $50 blazers thrown in. I could easily replace all my clothes and shoes for $2500 if I could wait for sales at my go-to stores.

      • Bonnie

        On a related matter, I’d encourage all of you to check your home insurance policies and make sure that you have replacement not current value coverage.

      • Mountain Girl

        I don’t have near that amount of clothes in my closet. In fact, I think I could easily take on one of those 30 pieces sort of challenges with little difficulty. I’m not sure if I should be happy or sad that I don’t have that many clothes.

        • Equity's Darling

          Be happy! I’m trying to slowly pare down, and it’s a nightmare, I feel so awful about giving away or consigning SO.many. clothes, some of which were a huge waste of money. Honestly, I just want way less stuff generally, the consumerism is really stifling for me sometimes.

      • anon

        Wow — people have a lot of clothes! I’ve always tended to buy at the mid to higher end, but not many items, and almost everything coordinating. It makes it easy to get dressed in the morning! I could definitely replace much of my wardrobe for 5K, including bags and shoes.

    • Excel Monkey

      For a limited wardrobe in Business Casual (only occasionally suit, jacket 1-2 days per week) based on how much I spend on items on average, for a capsule wardrobe that would get me through two weeks without re-wearing tops/dresses/underwear without laundry, Including outerwear, I got to $3240.
      This is for example 10 tops for work at an average cost of $60, so some are $30 and plain-ish tops, while 1-2 are special $150 tops.

      I suspect I would get bored with this wardrobe, but it would work in a pinch, and in some cases is more clothing than I currently wear on a regular basis (I put in 3 work skirts, which is what I just upgraded to, but had about 6 months with one)

      • Excel Monkey

        Looking at Anonymous above me, most of the costs are about the same as what I had put in, but I had fewer of each item.

    • Anon

      I can’t imagine spending this much, but thanks to your question I am having an excellent shopping spree in my head right now! This is not a total re-do, but I did a sort of capsule-wardrobe-replacement spree after losing some baby weight. I shopped the sales intensively, and spent about $700. I think I bought 2 pencil skirts (J. Crew No. 2’s – if you wait they go on deep discount), 3 pairs of pants, 1 pair of shoes, and 5 knit shirts (dressy T’s) and maybe some cardigans?? I also got 3 jackets for an additional $100 at a consignment store sale — I think they were Talbot’s and old-school-quality Loft.

    • HSAL

      I love this game. This is what I came up with – assumed decent, but not forever, quality. I’m a big fan of the Halogen line from Nordstrom, so that was a rough starting point. Figured I’d have a mix of quality, so everything’s an estimate and I rounded up in some points. These are close to the prices I pay generally and quality is usually good.

      2 suits (jacket, skirt, pants) – $750
      7 other pairs of pants – $450
      5 skirts – $250
      10 cardigans – $400
      8 sweaters – $320
      15 blouses – $750
      15 tshirts – $375
      2 jeans – $100
      3 casual pants – $120
      5 dresses – $400
      2 jackets/blazers – $100
      Workout pants – $100
      Workout tops – $100
      30 underwear – $150
      10 bras – $500
      10 pairs socks (which I barely wear) – $50
      10 camis – $200
      2 swimsuits – $200
      2 coats – $200

      Obviously some of your needs would vary. I could get buy with just one suit, but some people might need more workout clothes or something else. That’s around 5500, so if I went bare minimum on shoes I’m sure I’d spend another grand. I think if you’re truly starting from scratch, you can be a more conscious shopper and buy things that work well together, so you don’t need as much as you think you would. I think 8K would be very doable.

      • Sims

        2 coats?! Eek. I can’t even imagine. I have a hard time just doing that when traveling sometimes. Maybe if I didn’t live in a four-season area? That’s it–totally doable if I lived on a tropical island.

    • longtime reader

      I actually wrote out a list for myself of what I would like in a completely new work capsule wardrobe, and it came to ~$2000. This didn’t include shoes, underpinnings, workout clothes, or lounge wear.

    • Senior Attorney

      I actually did this a few years ago after a major weight loss. I had to replace everything including shoes. I went a little nuts, I’ll admit, and over the course of a couple of years I spent about $12,000 (I keep track of all my expenditures so I have the exact figure, but it’s at home and I’m at work) on everything including shoes, underwear, workout wear, accessories, bags, etc.

  7. LilyB

    Question for the hive: I’m currently about a year into a 2-year clerkship. The other clerk will be leaving at the end of August and our judge invited us over to dinner at his house. The other clerk is married and the judge said he hoped her husband could come, and then he also said to me, feel free to bring a friend. Our judge is older and very proper, as is his wife, and this is the first time I will actually socialize with them outside of work (except for once when I ran into him at church). Is it appropriate to bring my boyfriend of 3 months (4 months as of the date of the dinner)? The judge and his wife don’t know how long we’ve been dating as I wouldn’t mention my dating life to my judge. Or is it only appropriate to bring a fiance or husband (the judge knows I’m not married or engaged, so when he said bring a friend, he could only have meant boyfriend, right?)

    Just wondering what you ladies think the etiquette here is. Thanks!

    • Gus

      Yes, it’s appropriate to bring your boyfriend. If you weren’t currently dating someone, I would say don’t go ask someone to come with you just to have a “friend”. But if you’ve been dating for several months and consider him your boyfriend, then yes.

    • Cornellian

      I think you can bring him, etiquette-wise. But I wonder if you want to, because it sounds like your judge would assume you two were serious and perhaps follow up. If you were to break up in a few months and you still had a year left of clerkship, that might be awkward. If the judge doesn’t ask the married clerk about married life, though, maybe you’re safe.

    • Blue

      I think it’s fine since he specifically told you to bring someone. I wouldn’t necessarily bring someone I met last weekend, but if it’s been four months and you’re in a relationship, I think it’s fine. All relationships start somewhere.

    • rosie

      I think if your boyfriend is comfortable being introduced to your new employer as your boyfriend, it’s fine to bring him. The judge specifically invited you to bring a friend knowing you aren’t married/engaged.

    • LilyB

      thanks ladies! I haven’t even asked the bf yet if he wants to go, but wanted to make sure it was ok before I asked him.

      • Frou Frou

        In addition to what I wrote below, I’d also examine why you are thinking of inviting him in the first place. Are you trying to send your BF a signal that you want the relationship to head in a more serious direction? I ask because when I was younger, I would absolutely have done this, probably without really thinking about it. In retrospect, I probably would have turned the invite into a test of whether we were serious, and in doing so, I would have lost sight of the real purpose of the dinner. Anyway, just a thought. (or two, I guess). :)

        • LilyB

          yeah that’s interesting- i guess the main reason i want to invite him is because he has invited me to a lot of social gatherings (including weekends out of town) with his friends and family. i haven’t really been able to reciprocate as much. but this dinner is obviously on a different level so it might make him uncomfortable? i certainly don’t want to pressure him or try to signal anything.

    • ss

      Yes, appropriate but I’d probably go solo in your shoes. Easier to play your part in making the evening ‘go’ if you’re free to focus on your hosts and the other guests, without needing to keep an eye on the comfort of your friend at the same time. Exception may be if he is also a lawyer or is known to have common interests with the other folks at dinner.

      • Anonymous

        Seconded. Permissible to bring him, but probably easier to not bring him, both with respect to that evening and days beyond.

      • k-padi

        Agreed. I’d make the decision based on whether my boyfriend would be comfortable going to such a dinner. Non-lawyers have a hard time understanding the networking required in the legal profession and haven’t had 3 years of law school to practice drinking wine and making small talk.

        • Anonymous

          I don’t think non-lawyers who are professionals have a hard time understanding networking. There’s nothing super speshul about lawyers. Also, I’m assuming that because this is an after work social event at someone’s house, the discussion wouldn’t be highly technical work talk. That’s just rude and frankly, boring. Most professional adults know how to be social outside of work without talking about work.

          • Frou Frou

            The thing is, when you are having a dinner with the judge, the judge sets the tone and topics that you talk about, even if the discussion veers to highly technical work-talk that a non-lawyer would find rude or boring. Networking with lawyers who are above your station tends to be very formal and unforgiving for missteps. I think K-padi wrote a general statement in haste, but I agree with the sentiment that many non-lawyers, especially young ‘uns, lack experience with networking and a dinner at a judge’s home is not the time to practice your networking skills.

            Personally, my non-lawyer DH is my networking wing-man. But he’s also in his forties and networking is his thing. He is always appropriate. I am not. I bring him to law-related networking events when I need to make sure that I remain formal and appropriate. He’s good with quips and keeping up with current events and can slip in and out of conversations with ease. I would absolutely take him to a dinner at a judge’s home, but not if I felt that I was the one that had to take care of making sure he was behaving appropriately. <<Too much pressure.

          • k-padi

            Thanks Frou Frou! I date mostly engineers so my own point of view was unduly limited when reading the OP.

            It must be so nice to have a networking wing-man! I’m officially jealous!

      • LilyB

        hmm… from what my co-clerk has told me (she attended the same dinner last year when another clerk was leaving), the evening is pretty low-key and social- they didn’t really talk about “the law” and it was not a networking dinner- after all, who is there to network with- our judge? also, my co-clerk’s husband is not a lawyer, nor is the judge’s wife.

        on the other hand, i don’t want to make my new-ish bf feel pressured to go to a work-related event this early in our relationship. so i may have to think about this.

        • Frou Frou

          Yes it is a networking event. :) It doesn’t matter if you and the clerks and the judge are the only legal types there. You are formally socializing with people at a work-related function and this is networking. It’s not social, you are not friends with the hosts. You are networking with everyone there, not just those in your field. Networking = relationship building. It doesn’t always mean that you are only focused on work topics or only talking with work people. Don’t be dismissive of spouses, particularly non-legal spouses, as unimportant/unrelated to building professional relationships.

  8. Anon

    I’m currently job hunting and, having done this only 18 mo ago (took current job because I was unemployed and needed it, but, jeesh, it is horrific) I learned to pull every string I have as hard as I can. The result is my network has been AMAZING. People sending me listings, hand-carrying my application to the hiring person, putting in calls on my behalf, even leveraging their very, VERY influential bosses to help push my application forward. My question is, is there any good way to thank these people? I always send appreciative emails, but is there anything else I can do? The people are all former co-workers at about my own level. Send a bottle of wine once I have a job? Or do I just continue to pay it forward (which I try very hard to do — I actually love putting quality job-hunters in touch with my contacts)?

    • Mpls

      I think pay it forward, and maintaining the relationships are the best way to go. So, stay in contact, go to lunch, whatever, even when you aren’t job hunting. You never know when you’ll be useful to them in the future.

  9. Miss Behaved

    Ladies, I have a question.

    Last week, I learned that I can now work from home 2 to 3 days a week. I’m definitely going to work from home on Fridays. And I think I’m going to go in on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I seem to have most of my meetings on those days. So my question is would you choose Monday or Wednesday as your third day.

    I may leave it up in the air and choose the third day on a case by case basis. And, of course, I’m going to ask my bosses if they have a preferred day, but I’m taking an informal poll. And please, if you suggest a day, let me know why you think that would be better…

    Also, for reference, during August and September, I’m going to be working from my parents house on the Cape most of the time. Otherwise, my a/c bill would go through the roof…

    • A Nonny Moose

      I’d go in to work on Monday because I’d have trouble snapping out of weekend mode if I stayed at home on Mondays and I am sure I would get little done.

      • mintberrycrunch

        Agreed. Having Friday and Monday “off” (aka working from the Cape – awesome!) would make it hard not to be in “long weekend” mode for me.

    • ANP

      I used to work from home Wednesdays and it was an awesome midweek break. Agree that you should go in on Mondays to get the lay of the land for the week.

    • Walnut

      Wednesday is a good for from home day. It’ll give you an opportunity focus on a couple projects without the myraid of office interruptions. I have been known to take PTO mid-week to get This.One.Thing done.

      • anon now

        i love mondays from home. it helps me with the sunday night dread/stress. i end up being pretty productive on my mondays.

    • L

      I actually am going to be the voice of dissent here. I find that Wednesdays tend to be the busiest day of the week for me. Everyone is gearing up for the ‘hurry up and get it done before the weekend’ rush. I also tend to work better from home; I can produce more (reports and such) because there are less interruptions. I would love to have a jump on my week by having a Monday where I can calmly knock out the standing ‘to dos’ for the week leaving Tuesday and Wednesday in office for crisis. If you think you’ll be in vacation too much, make yourself leave your parents house at lunch on Monday.

    • Bonnie

      I’d pick Wednesday because Mondays are very busy for me. Also, since you’re taking Fridays to work from home, taking Mondays too will keep you out of the office for a longer back to back period.

    • S

      I work a schedule where I go in on Tuesdays and Thursdays (many people at my company are on the same schedule). I think it’s great because Mondays and Fridays are more prone to other people’s vacations and travel, so I’m more likely to get face time this way when I am there.

      Regardless of what you choose, I would suggest sticking to the same schedule. It makes it a lot easier for any colleagues who prefer to have everyone at a meeting in person (some folks are old-fashioned and want in-person communication–you’re better off to appease them by making it easier for them to anticipate your presence). It also will be easier for you when you have near-to-home to-dos–dentist, car servicing, vet appointment, rotating kid drop-off, etc.–since you’ll know in advance when you’ll be more likely to be close to home at start of day or close of business. (For example, I know I can swing a 7 a.m. dentist on Mondays but not Tuesdays without missing any work.)

    • Anonymous

      I worked t,h,f and then m,t,h when I was part time. T was non-negotiable b/c of a regularly scheduled meeting. I realized how much I hated the week-starting-on-Tuesday schedule when I was able to switch to starting on Mondays. I was always starting my week behind everyone else and felt like I could never catch up. I think the lack of Monday in-office face time also created false impressions about my “unavailability.” I would always choose to be in the office on Mondays.

  10. sweaters

    I need one or two workhorse sweaters for the upcoming seasons and I don’t want to buy something that might not last through spring. Where should I look? I have a few from J.Crew but they are already starting to pill (GRRR). Since they will get a lot of wear, I don’t mind spending a lot.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve never tried their sweaters, but I know Equipment came out with a line a year or two ago. Their blouses are great, so I assume their sweaters would be, too.

      Its so annoying that this has to be a question. There was a time, when a good sweater would last years and years. But, yeah, J. Crew sweaters end up misshapen, pilled and awful after not even one season. Nothing is made to last anymore.

    • anonohnoooo

      i’d try the ones available in the NAS right now. they are less than 50 bucks.

    • AIMS

      Uniqlo makes very good sweaters, in my experience. Lord & Taylor’s store line tends to get good reviews on here as well. Someone gave me a Charter Club (macy’s) sweater for the holidays a few years ago and I was pleasantly surprised at how well it has held up. If you’re near a Saks Off Fifth (the Saks outlet), I’ve had really good experiences with their brand sweaters. BB can be good, but I’ve also had some that are lint magnets or pill a lot under the arms. For something a little pricier, I used to have very good luck with Theory but not sure if that’s still the case. Honestly, the whole thing is so hit or miss, I tend to buy things only on sale and then wait to see how they hold up over a few wears. You can usually tell after a 3-4 wears and a wash or two if it’s going to be crap or not.

  11. Woods-comma-Elle

    Fun (not) Friday question for the Biglaw ladies and others who work on deals or big projects. What are your go-to things to do/have available/survival strategies when you have a killer deal on and are working really long hours consistently? Like one of my go-to things are always to try to leave the office even for little while every day, even if I know I will be working late, as it just makes life easier!

    I’m looking at a few weeks of an intense deal, long hours and little time to take care of life admin (and this is potentially all starting this SUNDAY! :(), so I’m thinking I need to get ready. I’m thinking stock up on snacks, dry shampoo, iron all my clothes ready for the week and if possible make some lunches (though I doubt I will have time to do this over the weekend). I’ve done plenty of crazy-a** deals, but this one is one where I actually know it’s happening, so I think well prepared is half done or whatever that saying is.

    • Cornellian

      I would sort all my e-mails in my inbox and set up my e-mail filters or boxes or whatever you use for the deal. I would also clean out my office and set up clean spaces for documents.

    • mascot

      Second the recommendation to clean your space, both office and home. I always function better when the clutter is gone and everything is both neat and clean.

    • Pippi

      When you work crazy hours like that, it really takes a toll on your eating and exercise habits. Maybe set aside some time for regular exercise, if you’re into that, or figure out a place where you can pick up healthy meals. Don’t be lured into eating whatever unhealthy takeout gets ordered.

      • TBK

        Or scour the menus of the regular take-out options. Most of them have something totally reasonable, but you need to look them up in advance because when it’s 10:00pm and you haven’t had dinner yet and it’s going to be an all-nighter, that General Tso’s Chicken is going to look so. effing. good.

    • lawsuited

      I got a steamer for clothes and it is so much quicker than ironing. It could save you time everyday, not just during big deals!

      • Brooklyn Paralegal

        I second this! I got a little portable steamer (I think it’s called My Little Steamer or something ridiculous like that) and it comes in multiple sizes. It could very easily tuck into a drawer and has an extendable power cord. It takes only a minute to heat up and takes seconds to steam wrinkles out of my clothes.

    • JJ

      Don’t know if you have a set closing date (I’m a litigator, so I always know trial date), but I also schedule a massage or facial for the weekend following everything being done. Maybe throw something together in the crock pot a few times this weekend? That way you don’t have to babysit it and you’ll have multiple, freezable servings. I like to do a crockpot of oatmeal for breakfasts for a week and some type of stew, etc for dinners. I’ll also hard boil a dozen eggs and put two in a plastic baggie so I have those for breakfasts or a quick snack. Those will last a week in the fridge.

    • ss

      I like to have my phone and card bills are current so that I have plenty of capacity for long calls and unexpected expenses (I once put a private flight charter on my credit card as a junior banker, very long story), plus a stash of spare phone and laptop chargers at home and in the office in case I need to head out for a long session at short notice.

      But mostly I rely on my wonderful assistant who is way more experienced at deal logistics than many of the young bankers whom she ‘supports’.

    • Bonnie

      Before I start trial, I stop by the store and stock up on healthy snacks like string cheese, carrots, cherry tomatoes, yogurt, deli meat, granola bars,hard boiled eggs, etc, and each morning pack a quick bag with snacks to eat throughout the day. When I get busy, I don’t take time to eat but having small things I can eat on the run keeps my energy up.

  12. Cornellian

    Anyone have ideas for gifts/celebrations/etc for a 20-something colleague who’s coming back next week after taking her (second) bar exam?

    • Houston Attny

      What a kind gesture! Maybe a gift certificate for a mani/pedi/massage or maybe a gift card to a movie theatre wrapped up with box candy and some popcorn – kind of themey. Or a bottle of wine with one of those super fun painted wine glasses (I think by Lolita – at Hallmark).

    • RJ

      Second as in she failed the first one or second as in she moved? It’s an incredibly thoughtful gesture, but if its a retake because she didn’t pass, I would guess she doesn’t want more attention on the fact than necessary. I think a massage is perfect, if its the latter situation!

    • AttiredAttorney

      If it’s her second because she failed the first, you might want to hold the celebration? I think a small, kind gesture would be sweet (the GC for a Mani/pedi, take her out for lunch, etc), but I might be hesitant to draw attention to the occasion too much if she might be sensitive about it. More of a know your coworker thing, I suppose.

  13. Ellen

    Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s! But today, enough about ME! What does the hive think about Huma Abedin (Anthony Weiner’s Wife). Dad emailed me for my view on this and I think that she should not be forced to stand up behind her man just b/c she is still MARRIED to him.

    As Corporetes, we should have a strong UNIFIED view point about what do do when men we are with MISBEHAVE. I think that if a guy is putting his picture of his unit in text messages that he might do other thing’s that might embarrass in the future. I know that when my Alan started drinkeing alot, it took alot of soul searcheing before I decided to dump him, but I did that and my dad now understands that it is better NOT to be married then to be married to a drunk that might embarrass me and him in the future. What do you CORPORETE’s THINK? DUMP OR NOT?

    The manageing partner also agree’s, tho he think’s I can get more cleint’s if my husband knew peeople. The manageing partner says I should be abel to tap as many sources as I have — includeing busness colleueges, freind’s from college and law school, AND, if I am MARRIED, my husband’s contact’s! He says that can DOUBEL our billieng’s! YAY!!!

    • Mulva

      Good for you in dumping your drunk boyfriend. I would do the same. As for Mrs. Weiner, she must make her own decisions in life.

  14. Sad runner

    Thank you for all the comments yesterday about running injuries! There is something very comforting to know others have been through something similar.

  15. Jo March

    PHEW! I sent a strongly worded email to my bank lady (my new mortgage is at the same bank as the old NO-LONGER-MY-MORTGAGE) pointing out the untenable legal position I was in because I acted based on her reassurances. She escalated up to her manager and VOILA! I am going to be released from the old mortgage! Wheeee!

    I am so relieved. That was totally freaking me right out.

    And of course, I’d been thinking that I kept waking up on the wrong side of the bed all week and then last night it finally dawned on me: I haven’t just turned into a royal *itch! It’s the pregnancy hormones! Also Phew :p

      • Jo March

        I had been taken off the title but not off the mortgage. I had signed those papers based on bank-lady’s assurance that a copy of the proposed separation agreement signed by me but not by the ex (who refuses to get around to seeing a lawyer and signing the damn thing) would be enough to take me off the mortgage.

        The bank then turned around and asked me to sign an affidavit waiving my rights to spousal support (which, frankly, I’m not going to be seeking anyways) before they would release me. Ridiculous.Thankfully, it is all fixed.

    • mascot

      Awesome. Use those hormones to your advantage. Anything else that you need to send strongly worded emails about? :)

    • Pest

      Somehow these front-line associates in the mortgage departments at banks are paid to provide terrible customer service. I recently got a cosntruction loan and the approval process was HORRIBLE until I was finally put in touch with the manager.

  16. Anon

    Inspired by the comment above about steaming instead of ironing: what’s the best steamer you’ve used? I had a conair steamer and it was decent, but not great.

  17. Anon

    Brief question as a clueless summer associate, hope I’m not too late to the thread! Our last day is soon and the firm that I am at pairs each summer up with a junior associate so that we have someone to ask “stupid questions” to. The junior I was paired up with has been simply wonderful all throughout, and I was thinking of giving her a physical thank you note when I left, but wasn’t sure if that was okay – would doing that make me too “young” or “female”? Thoughts?

    • Cornellian

      I think it would be sweet and appropriate at my firm. I would certainly appreciate getting one. Just something brief, and maybe not on flowery stationary or anything.

      I might also think of mentioning how helpful she was to her superiors so she gets recognized.

    • Mpls

      If it were pink stationary with purple pen and glitter, then I would think “Young and Female”.

      Otherwise, it’s a nice gesture and recognition of the other person’s effort and availability.

    • Veronique

      Physical thank you notes are always appropriate and usually preferred, as long as the stationery is professional (high quality card stock, fairly conservative).

    • mascot

      There are very few times when a thank you note is inappropriate. This isn’t one of them. As a more senior lawyer, I really appreciate knowing that my mentoring helped someone.
      Sidenote: Handwritten notes have a place in business (my firm actually orders personalized correspondence stationary upon request). So don’t be worried about being a young female. You aren’t sending her a friendship bracelet that says BFF.

    • AIMS

      Do it. I always appreciate something like that. I don’t think it reads “young and female” so much as “professional and thoughtful.”

    • Anon

      Thank you all for your comments! I will definitely write the thank you note then, and make sure to avoid pink, scented, glittery stationery.

    • ac

      Definitely do a thank you note — I think I’ve gotten a physical TY Note from each of my … 4+ summer mentees. Perhaps also to your assigned secretary/admin (and maybe include a starbucks giftcard or other similar token).

      Know your office, but it may also be traditional for the summer class to provide the folks in charge of the summer program with a thank you gift. In my class, we all contributed($20pp) toward spa gift certificates for the two staff members who planned and coordinated the summer activities.

  18. Susedna

    I’m a regular reader of NYMag for their restaurant picks — really great for little 5-minute workbreaks. But this morning, I ended up clicking their post on Anthony Weiner, and although I’m very late to the Spitzer/Weiner thread, I finally put my finger on what bugs me about Anthony Weiner:

    He used what is essentially a silly thing (s#xting gone amok) to catapult himself to greater fame/prominence than his actual credentials deserve. It’s gimmicky, and that’s my issue with it.

    This is exactly like Paris Hilton using a “leaked” s#x tape to make herself famous to mainstream America. Had the “leak” not happened, she’d still only be a minor name that occasionally would get mention in society pages of W, and some LA and NYC society blogs.

    Only the s#x angle is the red herring. I’d be equally annoyed if, say, a state gubernatorial candidate kept getting publicity and interviews about his past career as a circus acrobat, but is woefully inadequate in experience and has never really understood budgeting or economics.

    • AIMS

      I’m not sure I agree with that. He was always a limelight-seeker and spent most of his time in congress giving grand speeches and going to on any talk show that would have him (as opposed to sponsoring actual legislation and, you know, getting things done). I don’t think he is purposefully using the s*x scandal to get attention, so much as he thinks that the only way to get around it is to address it head on. Which I would have agreed with, until it just became too much (I just don’t want to hear about it anymore!). But, I don’t think he is in any way happy the second wave of this leaked — he was actually doing well in the polls up till that point and now he is tanking again. He is basically done.

      What really bothers me about it is not that he did it, but that he clearly failed to actually learn his lesson. The way I see it, this is between him and his wife, but I don’t want to hear about it and by running for office he is forcing it on me. He should just go be a consultant and s*xt away all he wants to. I just don’t want to see any more pictures of his stupid p*nis.

      • Susedna

        I wanted to be charitable like that until I read something about how he thought about using the (original) scandal as jumping-off point for writing a book. Which just reminds me of Rielle Hunter’s writing a book…

        @ss — yes, not gonna spend much more time on this, but I do think it’s helpful to think of why something or someone bugs us. Other people don’t have to agree or be bugged by the same things. I’m nitpicky and I like to know my reasons for disliking someone.

  19. Men's wedding ring question

    Um, I’ve tried to look this up online but to no avail. My fiance’s family is English (I’m not), and he wears a family signet ring on his left pinky. His father does the same, and doesn’t wear a wedding ring. I’m cool with my fiance not wearing a wedding ring if he’d rather not, but he seems to want to consider it.

    I was wondering if anyone had ever seen someone with both a family signet ring and a wedding band on the ring finger. I feel that two rings next to each other might seem strange. Would a wedding ring on the right hand be strange as well? Thoughts?

    • AIMS

      In many countries, people wear their wedding ring on the right hand. There’s no reason your future husband cannot. Russia, Greece, Georgia, Poland, Austria, Germany, Norway, Denmark, Spain, Chile, Venezuela, Colombia and India are just a few…. I don’t think it matters.

      • TBK

        It does matter in the U.S., though. Widow(er)s traditionally move their wedding ring to the right hand when they’re ready to date again.

        I don’t think a signet ring and wedding ring on the same hand would be terrible. But is there a reason the signet ring needs to go on the left? (Maybe there is and I’m just missing it.)

        • Susedna

          I’m in the U.S. (Northeast)

          I’ve met lots of guys who wear their (undergrad) class ring on their left ring fingers. They are married. And I totally don’t get that.

          • OP

            But don’t wear a separate wedding ring? I’ve never seen than (though I’m on the west coast).

          • Susedna

            @ OP

            Yeah, the only ring these guys wear at all is the undergraduate class ring on the left ring finger. Perhaps it’s a way to economize? Every guy I’ve seen who does this is at least 45yrs old. So maybe it’s generational and regional?

        • It's Just Me

          I’m in the US, married in a Greek Orthodox Church, wear my wedding band on my right hand where it was placed during the ceremony. I know many, many, many couples who wear their bands on the right hand.

        • Godzilla

          I have never heard of this (and I’m in the US). Do what you and your fiance want, it really doesn’t matter.

        • Anon for this

          Actually, there are no hard and fast rules for this. It’s entirely up to widower (or widow) what to do with his or her ring, whether to continue wearing it, to move it to a different hand or to remove it entirely.

      • OP

        I think the signet ring also traditionally goes on the left. From what I can tell, men in England who wear family signet rings tend to wear them on the left pinky and treat them as a wedding ring (ie, no separate wedding ring).

        Actually, just searched and apparently some people wear a wedding ring under their signet ring (Prince Charles does). I guess that’s an option…

    • Cheers

      I’m English and I’ve never seen both worn at the same time. In fact, can’t think of anyone I know who’s an English man and wears a wedding band.

  20. PollyD

    Any suggestions for a long weekend in Savannah GA? Going with the boyfriend in mid-August. It’s going to be pretty low key, but any suggestions for sites to see, shopping, and especially places to eat and drink would be welcome. We will have a car and are thinking of going up to Hilton Head just for the day.

    Thanks in advance – my posts always end up in moderation so I don’t know when this will go up and may not be able to thank people until later today or tomorrow.

    • A Nonny Moose

      If you haven’t already, read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil before you go. I haven’t been to Savannah but reading that book made me add it to my to-visit list.

    • Keratin

      I think for Savannah, it’s important to stay someplace where you can walk to a lot of things (and stagger home from). Lots of B&Bs meet that definition, as opposed to chain hotels.

      Also, I will post a link to an architecture tour that I went on and really liked.

      Agree on read the book — don’t see the movie though — it’s dreadful (but pretty to look at; hard not to think of that when I watch House of Cards).

    • PollyD

      Thanks! I have wanted to read the book, maybe now is the time.

      We’re staying at the Mansion on Forsyth, which looks pretty and seems fairly central.

    • Mrs. Jones

      Shop at Globe Shoe Company (2 locations including one downtown) and thank me later.

    • mascot

      Where are you staying? And what do you want to see? The downtown area has lots to look at, wander around the squares, poke into the shops, you can have an open container in the historic district. Do Savannah is the entertainment section of the savannah paper and will have the local events. There are lots of organized tours and carriage rides if that is your style. Blue Orb ghost tours are fun and the hearse tour out to Bonaventure cemetery is supposed to be good. If you want outlet shopping, Bluffton has decent outlets and is on the way to HHI. Broughton street has lots of shops, including Globe shoes. I don’t think that the wait is worth it for Lady and Sons food, you can get the same food at Mrs. Wilkes or Pirate’s House. Local 11ten is a nice dinner place with a cool rooftop bar, 700Drayton, Noble Fare, Leoci’s, Alligator Soul, Rocks on the Roof (drinks) are all places to consider. Hope this gives you some ideas.

    • Statutesq

      Alligator Soul (must go there)
      Zunzi’s
      Local 11 Ten
      The Olde Pink House
      Moon River Company
      Jen’s and Friends
      Savannah Bee Company

    • PollyD

      We pretty much want to just wander, do a little shopping, and eat and drink well. So all these recommendations are very helpful! Thanks again!

  21. Underage

    What do you do if you’re on a trip with friends and friends-of-friends and you discover that one or more of the guests is under 21 and drinking? I really thought I was too old to have this problem. I would have had to pull out of the entire pre-planned, pre-paid vacation to avoid being around underage drinking, and I’m not even sure what I would have done about finding a hotel, flight, etc. What would you do if you were put in this kind of situation?

    • Bonnie

      Unless they’re severely under age, I would not be bothered by it. In most countries, people can drink at 18. Frankly, I think it’s silly that in the U.S. you can join the military and vote at 18 but can’t take a drink until 21.

    • Calibrachoa

      Are you traveling abroad? If so, are you sure the person is not the legal age to drink in the destination country?

    • AIMS

      I would do absolutely nothing. Esp. if they were over 18 and we were outside the U.S.

    • mascot

      Can’t you just decline to faciliate it? Not buying for this person, etc. Or is this a trip where everyone is throwing in money to keep the fridge stocked for the weeked? If they are drinking responsibly around you and you didn’t purchase the alcohol, I think your risk is pretty low. This assumes that these folks are just under the legal age. I’d probably say something if these were teenagers and their parents were’t the ones serving them.

      • A Nonny Moose

        +1 be VERY careful if you’re in any way facilitating or purchasing the alcohol. Especially if you are in law or another profession with ethical responsibilities.

        • A Nonny Moose

          And to clarify by “very careful” I mean “do not put yourself in this situation.”

          • OP

            Yep, I’m in law. Don’t really want to risk my law license so some kids can have a few beers.

          • Really?

            Okay, let’s say you’re in the U.S. when this is happening. I agree you shouldn’t go to a store to buy beer or alcohol for kids because that can get you into real trouble. But it’s a little paranoid to think that you simply being around underage drinkers is risking your license, particularly when they’re not under your supervision in any way. First of all, not all states prohibit minors from drinking alcohol under 21 if it’s in off premises, e.g., at home, so you should have at least done your research before getting outraged. Second, if you’re at a restaurant and someone at your table orders a beer, you’re not the one responsible for that, the restaurant is. I get being careful, but this just strikes me as a bit over the top. Honestly, I would have just not gone if it meant I was going to spend the weekend explicitly telling anyone to not drink my beer and being rude to someone just because they were 18 and not 21.

        • L

          I’d also have a chat with my ‘friends’ about how this puts your job in jeopardy. some people may think its nbd, but if it has implications for your job you should be up front with your friends.

          • Anonymous

            I cannot even imagine it having implications for her job. It would have to go so far for her job to be affected by this. 1) Police would have to come; 2) She would have to be implicated in the underage drinking; 3) She would have to be convicted of a crime; 4) the state Bar would have determine that this particular conviction warranted some kind of sanction or censure.

            I think just chill out. It really doesn’t seem like a big deal. As others have said, you don’t have to go so far as to provide the alcohol to minors, but just being around minors who are drinking is hardly a risk.

          • L

            I don’t know her, so who knows. She could work with juveniles and it could be a very big deal. Or it could not be. Hell, if you’re a bartender in some states and get caught up in an alcohol related violation you can’t serve people.

            My point was, if my so called friends did something that a) facilitated breaking the law and b) made me uncomfortable I would say something to them about it.

            Also, to me there’s a big difference between college kids drinking while at a frat party and a maybe 18 year old drinking while on vacation. Besides the fact that I wouldn’t want to spend my precious vacation time/money with teenagers, the latter you could actually get in trouble for.

      • Mpls

        This – I’d want to be sure that I wasn’t contributing to the minor’s access to alcohol, to cover my own butt.

        My other concerns would be is whether the alcohol consumption is out in public (like a bar or restaurant) or at someone’s private home, and whether the minor was consuming responsibly. If the minor is consuming responsibly at a private residence, I’d be less likely to have an issue, as opposed to consumption happening in public or to excess.

      • OP

        I bought my own beer because I’m a Very Serious Beer Snob and I asked the under 21 folks not to drink it. I think some of them drank it anyway. I think everyone was 18 but I’m not 100% on that. They mentioned still being in high school or maybe just having graduated and I just tried to keep my distance.

    • Plain Jane

      I wouldn’t care at all unless this person were drinking to excess or were very young (early high school or younger). And I am a teetotaler. I would probably avoid paying for that person’s drinks (assuming you are in a country where it is illegal to drink under 21). I also wouldn’t care if I were on vacation and someone were using illegal drugs recreationally (e.g., smoking up — not shooting heroin). I’m not sure it’s really all that bad, and what does it matter to me? Again, if this person is smoking up in my bed, or in my face, or is going crazy, or is using heroin, I might care. But otherwise? Not my place to get huffy.

    • Cat

      why are you bothered by it? are you the one (inadvertently) giving them alcohol and worried about liability issues? are they being loud & obnoxious, frat party style? or are you morally opposed?

    • Anon

      I wouldn’t care, unless they were pretty young and drinking to get wasted. Don’t go out and buy alcohol for them, but I really don’t see the big deal about someone’s kid that just graduated from high school drinking a beer at the barbecue with you all. Even if you’re all getting drunk at home as a group, I still don’t see the big deal. Has anyone ever waited until they were 21 to start drinking?

      I understand being concerned about legal liability, but unless you’re doing something like going to the liquor store with them or handing them drinks at a bar in front of a cop, your risk is very low.

    • Anonymous

      I would not buy or give them drinks and if I were the host of a party (ie, if I invited everyone to my suite for drinks) I would not provide them with drinks and would ask them to refrain from drinking.

      However, in a social environment where I’m not hosting, as long as I wasn’t buying them drinks, I wouldn’t pay much attention one way or another. I wouldn’t want to be their drink-purchaser/facilitator, but I wouldn’t have any moral objection to them drinking and wouldn’t see it as my job to police their behavior.

    • Batgirl

      I honestly don’t think I’d care. That said, I wouldn’t put myself in the middle of it and buy the kid alcohol and I’d stop any dangerous behavior (i.e. driving).

    • Anne Shirley

      I wouldn’t buy them beer, but aside from that I wouldn’t do anything except pick new travel buddies for next time.

    • Anon

      NB: In my state, you can put your law license at risk for something without having been charged with (or convicted of) a crime, so the comments about needing to be charged and convicted before something happened with your state bar license are flat out incorrect.

      Are these jv’s parents or guardians around? Or did the jv’s come along on their own volition?

  22. Anon

    Gah, need to rant. It’s my first week at a super-important new job and I woke up two days ago with an awful eye infection (pink eye, woohoo). So now half my face is swollen and my head feels kind of groggy and wooden, and I’m sitting here dabbing my eyes every two minutes to get rid of the discharge. I feel awful because I don’t think I’ve been nearly as on top of things and proactive about my work as I really should be in the first week and am kind of worried that I’ve ruined my first impression. :(

    • Anon

      According to the doctor, I am fine going to my office job. Just need to wash my hands a lot.

    • TBK

      :( This is no fun. But I guarantee that, in a month (or less), no one will remember this at all.

    • Blair W.

      Going to work with pinkeye will ruin a first impression much quicker than staying home sick because you are contagious and concerned about officemates. Frankly, even though your doctor told you to wash your hands a lot, I don’t think you should go to work at all. And if you told your boss you had pinkeye and that’s why you couldn’t come in, I think s/he’d be pleased to see your good judgment.

  23. manomanon

    Has anyone here used the referral service from the VA State Bar before? I need to get an attorney (I think) for a landlord/tenant dispute and that seems to be a good place to start but I just wanted to check here

    Thanks!

    • KLG

      I might try to find a personal recommendation first. The referral service from the VSB is practitioners who sign up with them and agree to play by their referral terms (free or cheap consult, I forget which). It’s a lot of solo practitioners and small firms. Some of them are very good. Some of them are not very good.

      • manomanon

        Thanks for the heads up! It’s a cheap first half hour and at the moment I want to explore essentially what my rights are in a disaster of a rental situation so it’s all a bit rushed.

  24. Keratin

    An update, in case anyone else is considering:

    I just got the bangs-area done to deal with almost comical non-uniformity of hair texture (the rest of my hair is straight and lacking in volume). Shampoo today with non-sulphate shampoo. My keratin-ed hair now matches the rest of the texture of my hair, with no noticeable frizziness (just blowing it dry, no additional styling). I am going to play around with it this weekend to see how it does with velcro rollers, etc.

  25. Anonymous

    Small rant. So the bar exam is this coming Tuesday, and I was feeling good about my preparation until I started talking to other test takers. For the essays, I studied primarily by making my own outlines from the CMR and studying those. I’ve done only 5 full practice essays per topic (going to really buckle down on these this weekend), but so far I have caught most issues in the model answers. For the MBE, I similarly made my own outlines and have done about 750 practice questions, scoring mostly at or just above the BarBri stated goals. Not spectacular, but always passing. I’ve studied about 6-8 hours per day, every day, for the past month and a half.

    Then I made the mistake of talking with other people. 300 practice essays? 2000 MBE questions??! I am in desperate need of some encouraging/calming bar exam stories if you all have any.

    • anoooon

      too late, but do not talk to other people about the bar! a) they often lie/exaggerate about how much they’ve done (making themselves feel better?) and b) everyone prepares differently. I passed with certainly fewer than 5 practice essays per subject (writing them out is a waste of time IMO). Definitely fewer than 750 MBEs. You’ll be fine.

      As for this weekend, I’d spend your time reading essay q’s/outlining/reading sample answers rather than taking the whole essay (unless you have trouble finishing in time). Much more efficient use of time. and good luck!!

      • A Nonny Moose

        Exactly. It’s much better to do fewer questions but read why you got them right/wrong than just *do them*. I have serious doubts that anyone did that much work but really put thought into it.

    • Alice

      Hopefully my story will be calming for you. I passed the California Bar (last July’s exam) and never completed a practice essay. I outlined essays, but I did not even come close to looking at all the essays assigned by BarBri. I studied about the same amount you have been (every day, but stopped around 5 each evening).

      I didn’t look at anything the two days before the bar exam or the evenings of the bar exam because my nerves wouldn’t let me.

      BarBri makes you feel like you are going to fail so you panic enough to study more. It makes sense, but it isn’t reassuring. You are not alone.

      And I’m sure you have heard this advice, but if it is rattling to talk to other people now, DON’T HANG OUT WITH OTHER PEOPLE DURING THE EXAM! Make plans to have lunch on your own or with a non-bar exam taker, if it helps. Don’t talk about the exam in the evening. And good luck!

    • longtime reader

      you probably went to law school with people like this – they briefed every.single.case, took all the prior years’ finals, read every hornbook published…and they had to tell everyone about it! Don’t sweat it.

    • B

      I also did not do 5 whole practice essays—TOTAL.

      You will be fine.

      Ignore ppl who need to brag/showoff/be annoying.

      Also, resist punching the arse who decides to declare as you leave the bar exam, that it was “so easy, I don’t know how anybody could fail it.”

      The people who leave halfway into the essay portion just gave up. Use your time!

      All of my friends felt like the MBE was really hard, and we all passed on our first try.

    • Anon

      You are fine. Do not talk to people any more. Do not talk to people before the bar. Do not talk to people at lunch of the bar exam. Avoid people at all costs and you will be so much happier/saner.:)

    • k-padi

      As I studied, I would outline the 5-6 essays and write one full answer for each subject. I hand-wrote the Bar so I was building up my writing muscles too.

    • Bar Study Sucks

      I didn’t ask the question but thanks for all of your stories and advice. I am going to take the CA bar on Tuesday. When I read that someone did 300 practice essays, I started to freak out. I just noticed that there are only 121 total essays in the Barbri essay practice workbook. Sigh of relief.

      Anonymous: good luck on your exam!

  26. A Nonny Moose

    300 essays is crazy overkill. Ill be ecstatic if I hit 5 per topic by next week. Relax. You’re going to be fine.

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