Wednesday’s TPS Report: Textured Belted Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

ANNE KLEIN Textured Belted DressWe’ve featured dresses with this A-line shape twice now for a Splurge Monday, and having found a strikingly similar shape in a much more affordable form, I thought I’d feature this lovely Anne Klein dress today. I like the high neckline, the ladylike length, the capped sleeves, and the interesting paneling effect created by seams. It’s $119 at Lord & Taylor in Persian Rose (pictured) and Fuchsia.  (There’s also a very similar dress in black.) ANNE KLEIN Textured Belted Dress

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Comments

  1. OMG – LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE the dress. Exactly so much it calls for excessive capitalization. Too bad they only have it in pinks.

    • So beautiful!

    • Anita (formerly S) :

      Isn’t it gorgeous? This is my color, so I’ve got no complaints, but wouldn’t you love to see it in hunter green, too?

      • I like the shape and dark rose color, and would LOVE it in hunter green, too, but I am not a fan of all the seams — down the top and the patchwork of pieces all down the bottom. I think it cheapens the look, as if they made it out of fabric remnants.

        • oh, agree – I don’t like the cinched + dropped waist effect that first horizontal seam creates, and I think the patchwork effect makes the dress look more casual.

          • Philly CPA :

            Macy’s had this dress in a few colors back in the spring. I am a 4/6 hourglass and while I loooved the dress on the hanger – the horizontal seaming around the lower stomach wasn’t flattering on me at all. If anything, it seemed to emphasize my lower stomach (and not in a good way!).

        • e_pontellier :

          I completely agree – I really like the shape and cut, but the colors and seams are killing it for me!

        • Diana Barry :

          Ditto, don’t like the seaming. More seaming + poly = more puckering (usually), too.

          • From a distance the dress looks great, but you are right about the seaming and panels. You typically don’t want a horizontal seam to hit right at the widest part of your hips, and it looks like this dress would do just that on most women. (I know it would on me!)

            Also, having a drop-waist dress that is so long will throw off the proportions of most women, making them look like they have really long torsos and really short legs.

            Natalie
            ourstylefile.blogspot.com

          • Emily Elizabeth :

            @Natalie’s comment

            Tai: Do you think [it's] pretty?
            Cher: No, [it's] a full-on Monet.
            Tai: What’s a monet?
            Cher: It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess.

      • My thoughts exactly. Hunter green.

      • Talbots has tons of hunter green dresses this season, as does Land’s End. I just got a scoopneck sheath *with sleeves* from Land’s End and I love it…hunter green!!!

    • I like this a lot! I’ve recently fallen in love with this similar dress: http://www.millyny.com/Shop/All-Dresses/DAPHNE-SWIRL-DRESS-3176.html

      Unfortunately, it’s much more expensive, but it just looks so sophisticated.

      • Oh, wow, gorgeous! I am going to console myself by thinking about the zipper – I am not a fan of those for work clothes. But such a fantastic shape and color.

        • Okay, where do you see a zipper? Am I missing something on the website? I don’t see any pictures of the back or a mention of a zipper in the description.

          • In the left hand corner there’s a thumbnail of the back of the dress you can enlrage. Big silver zipper down the back and then it disappears in the folds right on the butt. Sort of in an add way.

    • I might’ve just let out a quiet ‘ooooooh’ at my desk. Looks like it would be great for those of us with teh boobz as the neckline is high but not a crew neck.

    • BTW I love your dress picks on Boardroom Belles! That dress from H&M has been haunting my dreams for the past year. I think I might finally have to bite the bullet and get it.

      • Oh my goodness, I love that H&M dress. What are the chances that they might sell that in store? I have an H&M in my city and could potentially justify stopping there during my lunch…

        • The closest H&M to me is about 40 minutes away, so I don’t go there that often. But I would assume they have it in the store because it is all over the blogosphere.

      • Are you talking about the one with the sleeve? If so, I really like it as well. Tried it on in store, although unfortunately they only had the black in a size too small for me, but I think my usual size would be perfect. They only had pink, white, and black in store, so I will have to hunt down the burgundy, it’s great. I am 5’8” and think it will be a good length on me.

        • The v-neck? I tried it on, too, and mine was scandalously inappropriate for the office. Cut waaaaaay too low and very curve conscious…. It wasn’t even a size issue because I specifically sized up. It was just a very sexy dress. They don’t even have it with work clothes in the stores but right along side other going out clothes. Personally, I wouldn’t wear it even near my office. I can see how it could work on some figures (very thin, not very curvy) but on me it was just too much.

          They had another dress though that was great. It’s not on the website, but I bought it a few weeks ago and imagine it’s still available. In the “career” section — sleeveless, grey, twirly skirt, nicely fitted on top with a modest but very flattering neckline. It came with a cheap black bow belt that needed to be substituted and a somewhat crappy feeling polyester lining, but for $35, I am very happy with the purchase. If anyone’s near an H&M, it’s worth checking out.

          • Yeah, I think it was the same dress. Crazy how it can fit so differently for different people. I will have to check out the other dress you mentioned. Another H&M shopping trip is in order soon!

          • I tried it on too and the v was really low. I am small chested and do work in a super conservative office so these things don’t usually bother me, but this was really extreme. I was bummed because I love the green color. Capitol Hill Style said she bought it a while back and that she wears it with a blouse underneath. Maybe try that if you really love it?

          • @Bette — for me it wasn’t just the low cut, but also the way it hugged certain parts. I don’t think a blouse would help. I literally looked in the mirror and though, “so this is what those Victoria’s Secret office clothes must fit like!”

          • SoCal Gal :

            I tried that grey dress on too! I wanted it to work, but I would need one size bigger than they had at the store. Thwarted by the lack of online availability!

        • Wow Merabella, I am glad you like those selections. I’ll be sure to pass on to Posey. Regarding that H&M dress – The NYC store on Fifth Avenue has it in black and marroon. It’s been there for several weeks. How many sizes they have depend on when you come in the store and what day, but it seems like it’ll be one of those pieces they’ll frequently restock during the season.

    • FWIW, the AK website has carried a version of this dress for much of this year. I bought it in a camel color in May. Not sure if they still have it though. Macy’s currently has this one, which I think is really cute:

      http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/anne-klein-dress-cap-sleeve-belted-striped-a-line?ID=712367&PseudoCat=se-xx-xx-xx.esn_results

      For those wondering about fit, I had it tailored, but it works well on my hourglassy figure. The skirt is relatively full (a ‘twirly dress’ as my two y.o. would say) and thus can be a challenge to pair with a tailored jacket, although I have worn it with both a belted cardigan and a jewelneck shorter jacket. Fabric is nice but not super-structured.

      I got it on sale, but consider it to have been a good buy regardless.

    • I posted this dress a while ago, back when Kat posted about a similar much more pricey Nanette Lepore dress. I had high hopes when I tried it on, but the seaming plus the very full skirt made it look very dowdy on me. These sort of fit and flare dresses are usually a big hit for me, but not this one. The color is super pretty though.

    • I HAVE this DRESS! It is FANTASTICK!

      I got it at L&T and it is my BEST Anne Klein dress. And I got it with 20% from the manageing partner’s consent!!!!!! The cut is good, and there is NOTHING he can ooogle at up top. Yay!

      Jim and I walked past Tiffany’s yesterday, and after pointing out a ring I liked in the window, Jim said that he would not want me to work at his company inhouse b/c his company does not allow fratrenization.

      I did NOT know where to look b/c I would have NO intention of having any kind of relationeship with him, let alone a sexuel one. FOOEY on that!

      Men are so weird b/c they think that if I even talk about something, it relate’s to them. How dumb is that? I did NOT say anything about him. Just that I liked a ring! How silly of him.

      The manageing partner want’s us to get more then WC cases from Jim’s company, so I told him I wanted him to give us some TRANSACTIONEAL work. I know they do alot of M and A, so Jim said he would disceuss it with his General Council.

    • I just got this same dress from Jones NY in navy, and a friend got it in white. It looks fantastic on my hourglass figure (and on my friend, too)!

      http://www.jny.com/Belted-Cap-Sleeve-Dress/26455575,default,pd.html?variantSizeClass=&variantColor=JJEE1XX&cgid=25126439&prefn1=catalog-id&prefv1=jonesny-catalog

    • Baby DC Attorney :

      I’m so excited! I’m actually wearing this dress today, in royal blue. I got it a few months ago, I think from Nordstrom. I love it – easy to throw on and no need for a cardigan because it isn’t “sleeveless”.

    • There’s a similar sleeveless dress at BR in red and navy: http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=50129&vid=1&pid=406428&scid=406428002

    • Don’t worry. You can find this dress in off-white, khaki, orange, or navy depending on the store. I bought a navy surplice-wrap version of this from a Jones New York outlet store last year and saw the exact same dress (same double-buckle belt and everything) with the Anne Klein label in it in Macy’s. I have seen it in other stores with yet other labels in it. This year’s versions ditched the surplice and have a brighter belt.

  2. Greensleeves :

    Inspired by the chunky watch discussion a few weeks ago, I am now the proud owner of the Nixon TimeTeller Acetate in the tortoiseshell. Love it! My question is, do you wear these snug on your wrist or a bit loose? It currently moves around a bit, but not excessively. I could probably have a link removed and wear it snug. I’m inclined to leave it like it is, but thought I’d see what everyone thinks. Thanks!

    • Pretty! If it moves a bit but stays in place (face up), then it’s probably more comfortable loose. If it’s going to flop over, get a link removed. It’ll drive you crazy.

    • My Mom always said that lady’s watches are supposed to be a bit more loose than men’s watches, more like a bracelet, because they’re more like jewelry. Don’t know if that’s an actual rule or not, and if you don’t like your watch like that then don’t follow the rule. :-) My watches have always moved around a bit, but never farther up my arm than maybe 1-1/2in. up from my wrist. I once had a link removed so it was more snug, but I didn’t like it so I put the link back in.

    • I used to wear my watch on the looser side (could have had a link or two removed). Then, after having some problems with the bracelet, the jeweler told me that women’s metal watches often don’t last as long because wear them loose. The metals stretch over time. As a result, I’m probably going to have to replace the bracelet on my watch. Gag.

    • Love that watch! Nice!

    • I am a banana. :

      Whatever is comfortable for you, I certainly don’t notice how loose other ladies’ watches are! Although I’m a snug wearer, myself.

    • Greensleeves :

      Thanks to all! I’ve been wearing it loose all day and I’m not annoyed yet, so I’m going to stay with this.

    • I wear mine a little loose but you don’t want the watch to move freely as you’ll be more likely to hit and break the crystal.

    • lawsuited :

      All my watches are chunk-ay and I wear them snug because it actually hurts my wrist if my watch bumps around all day. It might not be a problem as your watch is acetate, but with a gold or stainless watch, it really hurts!

  3. I'm Just Me :

    I just wanted to post some Target-love. I ordered some of the ponte pencil skirt mentioned in the building a $150 professional wardrobe post. It’s very nice. I got the Beaver Tail Brown, the Black, the Moroccan Blue (which is teal-ish) and the Sierra Gold. They were out of Bloodstone in my size, but I notice it is back in stock, but backordered, now. I think for a $20 skirt, it looks really nice. The colors are wonderful and rich.

    I can put a link in a reply.

    I also have the previous rendition of the Target Ponte skirt in blue and red, and wear them often. They have held up well with frequent wearing and infrequent washing.

    • I'm Just Me :
      • How is the fit? Does it run tight or TTS?

        • I'm Just Me :

          I’m going to say TTS, it is sized S, M, L, not with number sizes, and it is ponte, so there is some give. I am, um, larger than many posters here, and wear a 16 in many brands (including the Skirt). I bought the XL, which is what I buy in Target brands normally, and they fit perfectly.

          I’m 5’5″ and it hits right at the knee on me.

          • You’re my size twin! Love it. Thank you

          • lucy stone :

            I’m 5’6″ and a little larger than you, usually wear a 16W or 18W in skirts. Do you think the XXL would work for me?

        • I was disappointed in this skirt. I ordered in both a M and L (I am an 8 or 10 usually). I found that the waist was too tight in the M. The waist in the L was fine (I don’t like ‘em tight at all) but the rest was way to big. I am 5’4 and it hit me mid-kneecap and was hoping for above the knee. Unfortunately I had to return.

    • thanks! just ordered in a couple of colors!

    • I had the last version of the skirt (in the blue and the orange/red). I’m about a size 10 and I wore (with spanx) a medium. LOVE that skirt. I’ve been curious to check out the newer version and see how I like it with the additional seaming.

    • I have just been browsing the Macy’s website and saw a number of seamed pencil skirts from several brands in various colors. Those in the market for The Skirt alternative should take a look!

  4. I saw this (or a very, very similar) dress in black with a skinny patent red belt at the bar exam a few weeks ago and thought it looked super sharp! I do like the rose color, though. It’s a little more mature than pink. Looks comfortable, too.

    Ugh, it must be Wednesday. I only just realized my serious wardrobe malfunction involving thin, clingy shirt fabric (curse you, maternity clothes!), and ill-fitting, insufficiently-lined foundation garments (I’ll leave the particulars to your imagination). I’d hide in my office for the day, but… my office is the receptionist desk. *buries head in shame*

    • Sorry to hear of it, my dear.

      One consolation is it’s more obvious to you, but others may not notice. And if they notice, they’re likely staring too hard at parts of you they shouldn’t be staring at. :-)

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        Exactly what my mom said when I accidentally wore a patterned bra under a green and white dress and the pattern showed through the white spots on my chest. My mom’s exact words were “if anyone is staring hard enough to notice that, they are the ones with the problem, not you.”

    • Can you sneak out on a break to buy an emergency cardigan somewhere? You could wear it open but sort of wrap it around yourself if you feel awkward. I’m all about emergency shopping to save the day.

      • I have an appointment at lunch that may well justify such a detour. Good idea. I’m self-conscious enough about my shape these days, thankyouverymuch.

    • Tell a female colleague you’re cold and ask to borrow a sweater or shawl?

  5. kerrycontrary :

    Awesome pick! My sister is always looking for A-Line dresses I just sent this to her.

  6. LOVE this dress.

  7. Cornellian :

    TJ: Getting rid of MPRE material

    Hi all. In the town where I went to school I had no problem giving away law school materials for free. Now that I’m in NYC, my posts for free books on craigslist seem not to result in any bites.

    I have MPRE books from a few companies, and a huge set of professional flashcards for professional responsibility. Does anyone know of a place or website in NYC to get rid of them? It seems silly to throw them out!

    • Diana Barry :

      Do you live near NYU, Fordham or Columbia law schools? If you look up their websites for student housing, you could just leave the books in one of those buildings, or leave flyers with your email on them.

      • Cornellian :

        that is an idea. i just assumed the schools’ buildings would be too high security to get in to, but that’s based on my experience at U Penn. I’m hoping now that school is starting up this will be on peoples’ minds…

    • This might be a bit silly, but you may have better luck selling the books on ebay. I realize you want to give them away, but I would just put it there with a low bid to pay cost of shipping and you’re still doing a good deed. I ended up selling my PMBR books that way. You don’t have to list each item separately, just add the flashcards, etc., to your description.

      Also, you’re probably having a hard time giving these away because most people sign up for BarBri 1st year and BarBri supplies you with all the MPRE materials you need to pass. People who don’t sign up still have no trouble getting an old set because they are usually passed down in law schools, friend to friend, since there are so many of these. Or that’s my guess as to what’s going on, anyway.

      • I think AIMS is on point. MPRE materials are usually not hard to come by, especially compared to bar review materials. But good on ya for wanting to pass it on. I have a Barbri MPRE book I need to get rid of, too! Thanks for the reminder.

        Anyone have experience selling bar review books online? What’s my best bet: Craigslist (I live in a pretty sparse area), ebay, or Amazon (or other)? I have 2009 VA Barbri and 2011 TN Barbri, probably still worth something, right?

    • Lazy Lousy Liza Jane :

      Cornellian, I’m a law student in Manhattan that would love to take them off your hands. Do you have an email address?

  8. midwest anon :

    ‘R e t t e s with in-house experience: Does anyone have any in-house experience, or corporate experience in general, with the largest big box retail company? I am trying to get some information about the corporate culture and the competitiveness of the application process before I put my name out there and I would love some advice.

    • Divaliscious11 :

      Quite a few of us are in-house – ask your more general questions and you’ll get a response.

      • Is it sad I don’t know what the largest big box retail company is? Walmart? Target? Home Depot? So you might have to come right out and name it…

    • midwest anon :

      It’s Walmart. (And if it’s not the largest then, I blame NPR for feeding me that bit of trivia!) I didn’t type if out to avoid moderation, but maybe it won’t be an issue.

      My general questions are:
      1) Right now, I do almost exclusively insurance defense litigation. What are the best areas of the law to learn more about in order to appear like a good candidate?

      2) (And my first question may have made this obvious ) The job opening asks for 5 years of experience post-law school. I have two years of experience. The geographic area in which I live has limited jobs in the legal field, so chances are, that if advised to wait to apply, I would stick it out at my current firm for the time between now and then to avoid puddle jumping, burning bridges, etc.

      3) What is the environment like? My current firm is small (three partners, two associates) and I like it well enough, but liked the mid-size office I worked in during law school and college much better.

      4) Does anyone live in the Bentonville/Fayetteville, AR area? I live close, but have never been there and am interested to hear about the area.

      • Divaliscious11 :

        Transactional attorney but am on my second company in-house so here are my thoughts….

        1. Most in-house lit positions are more litigation management, with very few actual court appearances (but lots of mediation & settlement conferences). Assuming, without knowing for certainty, WalMart likely has very strong vendor agreements with pass through liability so its unlikely that they have tons of litigation with regard to products. however, I can imagine they have a ton of slip and fall and other associated work. From an experience standpoint, I’d try to get as much complex litigation experience. Being in-house counsel is less rigidly about practicing law and more about being a strategic business partner who assesses and mitigates risk. the more complex your work, the broader you will begin to think, and that is invaluable.

        2. Two years might not be enough for a minimum of 5 years posting, but it really depends on the number of applicants. Not sure how many lawyers are in and around Bensonville, that don’t already work for WalMart. But like most large companies, networking is key so if you have anyone in your network that can either discretely inquire, or position your resume, I’d reach out to them.

        3. Can’t answer with any specifics, but I’ve met a few WalMart lawyers, all women, and they seem to be happy, for what that is worth.

        4. That’s a bit of terrifying thought for me, so no help there….

        hth

      • From what I’ve heard, it’s a good ole boys network. U of Arkansas law alum are treated as if they graduated from Harvard if you get my drift.

      • Hubs and I considered a 2-year rotation in that area about 6 months ago (he works for a vendor that supports WM). I did a lot of research on the area and can tell you that the people we talked to seemed very happy. It’s conservative, but yet a melting pot since SO many companies have satellite offices down there. Fayetteville seemed much more our style + speed, but my informants all confirmed good schools, cheap housing and a relatively high (if not semi-homogenous) quality of life.

        We ended up not taking the placement due mostly to $$ and my love of the job I have here, which isn’t something I could have done remotely.

      • I’ll answer your first question with the caveat that I don’t know anything about Wally’s legal department.

        If you want to stay in litigation, your question might be a little misdirected. Your focus should be on developing your skill set, whatever area of law you happen to be in. Depos, hearings, trial, briefing, etc. Fill in the gaps in your experience. Better to have tried an insurance defense case than to have superficial experience in a handful of different areas.

        THAT BEING SAID. If you’re looking to make a switch out of insurance defense and into something else, labor and employment work seemed like an automatic feeder to in-house positions at my old firm.

    • Fortune has done a number of cover stories on said company, many of which speak to the culture. I would look there (or their website). They give a good sense of the area too!

    • I’m in-house and have worked opposite the table from their corporate folks before. I only worked on a couple of transactions, but would be happy to discuss with you off-line. Please feel free to send me an email.

  9. momentsofabsurdity :

    I had a thread idea last night I’d love to hear the hive’s answers to.

    What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten?

    I’ll start. In college, I went through a rough and very messy breakup. My mom gave me a piece of advice that I habitually remind myself of, and I think will probably carry me forward through how I want to live the rest of my life:

    “However you feel, make sure that when people look back on your behavior, they believe you behaved with grace and dignity. Always be graceful, always have class and always be an exemplary person.”

    What’s yours?

    • “Always have a dog.” ~ My mom

    • “It’s better to be lonely and alone than lonely and with someone.”

      “If you don’t have your word [i.e. keeping promises] you don’t have anything.”

      • layered bob :

        Along similar lines:

        “It’s better to be single and wish you were married than to be married and wish you were single.”

    • “The worse thing they can do is say no.” – My mom (said in response to me debating whether I should apply for an honors program)

    • You can’t give somebody something they don’t want.

    • another rette :

      It’s just a job. You do your job so you can have a life.

    • “it’s better to be alone for all the right reasons, than than with someone for the wrong ones.” – Some Kind of Wonderful, thanks John Hughes!

      I think that this made me really decide whether or not being with someone was right for me or not. It isn’t worth it to be in a relationship with someone if you are unhappy. Plus, if you can’t love yourself how the hell are you going to expect someone else to love you – thanks RuPaul!

    • Once, when I was over analyzing whether or not to break up with a SO in college, my grandfather told me to do it when the “f-ing I was getting wasn’t worth the f-ing I was getting.” It might not be the best advice I’ve ever received but it is definitely among the most memorable.

      • My DH’s grandfather said something along the lines of “Everybody’s f-ing somebody.” I love old people and their words of wisdom.

      • Equity's Darling :

        Ohhh, that is so amazing.

      • lawsuited :

        Love this. My Dad is not the touchy-feely type, but once when I was upset about a boyfriend who told me I needed to lose weight, my Dad said “lawsuited, you have a find a man to fit the butt you’ve got.” And I did!

    • My grandma: Everybody’s weird. If you don’t think they’re weird, you don’t know them well enough.

      My father’s corollary: if you still don’t think they’re weird, talk to them about money.

    • Emily Elizabeth :

      Lots of people will give you unsolicited advice or make demands about [fill in the blank - raising kids, getting ahead at your job, planning a wedding, etc...]. Listen, smile, and say thank you. Then completely disregard anything that doesn’t feel right to you. But also remember what those people said, even if it sounds far-fetched and ridiculous – it may come in handy one day when you least expect it. (My mom)

    • From my mother- “If there is something you want, ask nicely.”

      She was talking to a four year old who wanted a snack, but I still remember this today when I need something from my client agency.

    • My wise friend Sarah advised me to get better at being okay with not knowing what the future will hold. I find that I am calmer and less anxious about what will happen if I have faith that things will work out okay and I don’t have to know what the answer will be or how I will get there. I takes a lot of practice!

      • Oh, and when my now ex-h was acting like an idiot, my minister told me that “God can’t stop people from doing stupid things.”

        • My husband loves to quote John Wayne – “Life’s tough. It’s tougher when you’re stupid.” Less advice than a slam on stupid people, but it seems like your minister and John Wayne’s scriptwriter were on the same page.

      • Philly CPA :

        Along these same lines……Advice from my Mom: You are exactly where you’re supposed to be right now.

    • That you can’t fix people. My dad told me this first, I think.

    • One of my high school teachers told a group of us that there was no “One” out there. He said he loved his wife and couldn’t imagine being with anyone else after fifteen years, but that if he hadn’t met her, he would have been happy with any number of other people he might have met. For a bunch of moony, romantic teenagers, this was news.

      In the work world, I posted this on another thread, but an ex told me he learned in consulting to look like you’re worth your cost (i.e., if you cost $300/hr, make the client believe they’re getting their money’s worth).

      • I believe Tim Minchin’s love song to his wife captures your first point well. It’s entitled: “If I didn’t have you, someone else would do.”

    • Francie Nolan :

      To treat people the way you expect them to treat you.

    • “Everyone has s**t happen to them – your character is how you deal with what happens to you.” and “Play the hand you’re dealt and stop expecting a better hand.”
      - from a very sage teacher I had in high school

      • The CEO of my company gave me an invaluable piece of career advice. He told me not to worry so much about where I saw myself in 5 or 10 years, but instead to make career decisions based on what will open the most doors for me over the next 18 months. It’s incredibly calming to remember when I get anxious about not having my career 100% figured out.

      • The first one is so true! I often say that about students. Some of them let adversity derail them. Some of them find ways to cope and get on with school.

      • No Problem :

        “Don’t do dumb things.” -The National Honor Society advisor at my high school.

    • From my ninth-grade English teacher:

      Ask other people about themselves and show interest in the things that interest them.

      And two things I learned on my own:

      Always go with your gut instinct.

      Sometimes life is just a big pile of cr*p, and instead of staying in one place and trying to shovel it away from you to make yourself instantly happy, you just have to accept that things are going to stink for a while and keep trudging forward until you make it out of the pile.

    • emcsquared :

      Right before a high school exam (presentation? paper? no idea), a teacher said, “Just remember, everyone who loved you before will still love you after this, no matter how you do.”

    • Divaliscious11 :

      Two pieces from the same person, a law professor.

      1. Your professional career starts not at graduation but on the first day of school.

      2. Learn to say no, without apology or explanation.

    • Senior Attorney :

      My dad was a carpenter, and he gave me some advice that applies equally well to law (and almost everything else): It doesn’t matter if you get into trouble (make a mistake). What matters is how you get out of trouble (fix the mistake).

    • I am a banana. :

      “You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought about you if you knew how little they do.”

      I read it in a book when I was a teenager and it stuck. That pimple that looks ginormous to me is barely something anyone else notices in passing, and no one is sitting around thinking about my new gray hairs.

      • Another Zumba Fan :

        This reminds me of the Martin Luther King, Jr. quote, “You probably lose confidence in yourself because you are thinking too much about yourself. Nine times out of ten, people are not thinking about you at all.”

    • “Remember who you are and where you came from”

      “You can’t control people’s actions, but you can control your reaction”

    • This isn’t going to make the world end today – it’s already tomorrow in Australia.

      It’s going to be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright then it’s not the end.

    • From my HS band director: Broken reed is not an excuse for a squeak. Your job as a musician is to have your instrument in working order. The audience doesn’t give a damn why the song didn’t sound good.

      I didn’t grow up to become a musician (professionally), but took the lesson with me. Don’t make excuses; just make it work.

    • Seventh Sister :

      Grandfather to teenage me:

      Boys have much more fragile egos than girls.

      He’s a straight-up Freudian – one the very last lie on the tufted couch, talk about your mother, pre-Prozac shrinks. He’s all about the ego, the id, the subconscious, and diagnosing people’s pathologies from tv news shows (now that he’s retired).

      I think what he was trying to say is that my jerky high-school boyfriends were jerks because they were terrified of everything, especially me (as I was kind of like Daria Morgendorffer in high school, with a thick helping of volatility and much more crying).

    • Always a NYer :

      Courtesy of my mother – “If you don’t want the answer to be no, don’t ask. It’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.”

    • Anonymous :

      “You can only control yourself, and that’s if you’re lucky.”

    • lawsuited :

      Before my own wedding, I asked a couple who have been married for 66 years what they most important thing was in a successful marriage:

      “Kindness. Be KIND to each other.”

      My husband and I were surprised by the simplicity of the answer, and we make kindness our goal every day.

    • academicsocialite :

      My mom’s best friend from college died when she was relatively young – leaving two young children – and my mom never really found another “best” friend. So she told me to stay in touch with the important women in my life and to appreciate them. I have definitely tried to follow her advice and still try to connect with old friends, even over long distances, through email, FB, and Skype.

    • Mighty Mouse :

      “Put your own oxygen mask on before helping those around you”
      —pretty much every flight attendant ever

      A good reminder for me to take time to care for myself so that I can be the best mom / wife / sister / friend / professional / etc.

      Also (paraphrasing here, from an “inspirational” email): Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather, recognition of fear but acting anyway.

  10. Long Tall Sally :

    I have this very dress in black and navy blue, and it is crazy flattering (to me, anyway – I’m 5’10 and a “ruler” shape) and easy to wear. Be warned that the lining extends only to the waistline, which is disappointing but not really suprising given the price of this dress, and the belt is cheap and nasty. Ditch the belt, cut the loops, don a half slip, and rock this look with me.

    • If the skirt is a “twirly” skirt (as mentioned further up the comments) there wouldn’t be any point to lining the skirt, as it doesn’t cling to the backside like a pencil skirt or pants would.Just sayin’

  11. Just making sure all the Dallas ladies have seen the thread about a meet-up tonight, starting around 6 pm at Pappsito’s in Richardson, 723 S. Central Exspressway. Do we want to meet in the bar area? There’s a photo of me on the “about” page of the link if you click on my name, I’m wearing a blue skirt and tan spotted cardigan today.

  12. Everything about this pick says Ellen. Anne Klein is her favorite brand, Lord and Taylor is her favorite store, and she likes bright pink garments with full coverage. I’m expecting major thumbs up from her on this post, and that she will submit it to the Manageing Partner for 20% reimbursement.

    Dubious honor, Kat?

  13. I know some posters here like to buy made in the US, so a head up: Yoana Baraschi is on Rue La La today and most, if not all the items, are made in the US. Some cute blazers. I have a dress from the line and fit is good and true to size.

  14. I have to call a family friend who is an attorney today. Apparently he is very busy and could use some extra help. It would be great experience and a good networking opportunity for me. I just have to figure out what to say when I call! Any ideas? I hate these awkward phone calls even though I know that I need to get used to them.

    • D Train South :

      “Hi, this is Anon, X’s daughter. I was speaking with my mother, and she mentioned you might need some help at your office. As it turns out, I need an office to work in, and I think I’m qualified to help you. Is there a good time for us to talk about whether this would be a good fit? I’d be happy to send you my resume so you can see what my skills and experience are beforehand.”

      • Thanks, I’m meeting with the attorney tomorrow.

      • +1 for this. Focus on trying to set up a meeting, rather than trying to get any details ironed out now, and definitely offer to send your info ahead of time. Have your schedule and resume handy before you call. That way, even if you can’t wind up doing work for him, you can still get some good networking in. Good luck!

  15. just Karen :

    For anyone who can wear orange and a size 10, here’s the same dress in “sunset” – link to follow

  16. Ladies!! After just two classes, I can say that I am addicted to the Bar Method. Oh-sweet-baby- Jesus-all-wrapped-up-in-a-cute-little-blanket, I love the Bar Method! It’s the first workout I’ve found where I haven’t been watching the clock waiting for it to be over. And it’s a GOOD workout. I’m a former dancer (haven’t danced in years) who is hitting middle age with a young child at home. My body has been getting squishy and “skinny-plump” over the years and I’ve tried a number of exercise routines to lose the weight and tone up (pilates, yoga, running half marathons, P90x, Insanity, regular ole cardio at the gym) without seeing any really satisfying results (for a variety of reasons, not because these programs aren’t great for some, too). I love this program and just wanted to share in case you’ve been thinking of trying it! Now, I need to go slather on some more arnica gel onto these sore, but happy muscles.

    • Are you taking live classes or is there a dvd?

      • I’m doing the live classes I’m a little tired of working out at home and wanted to get out of the house) but there are DVDs that are supposed to be good!

    • BarreAmped :

      I’ve taken BarreAmped classes for a few months and I love it. I’m not sure if it is the same thing, but I assume it is similar. I’ll be moving soon so I can’t go to classes anymore. I would love to continue with a DVD if anyone has any suggestions.

  17. hellskitchen :

    PSA – A while back, someone on this site recommended Revlon Lip Butter in Fig Jam for my South Asian tanned skin tone. It was awesome! I want to return the favor by recommending Revlon’s new Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Adore. It’s the perfect reddish brown for warmer, darker skin tones. I have tried lip crayons before but found most shades too matte. Adore is dewy and wears really well.

    I am hoping to try out other shades in this line so if you have suggestions, I welcome them. Thanks

  18. I just bought this dress last week for $49.95 at Ross Dress for Less in khaki/beige. I suspect some online bargain shopping could land it to your door for less than the Lord & Taylor price…

  19. FOR "help" :

    Has there been an update yet from “help”? I hope everything went ok!

  20. SAlit-a-gator :

    I bought a dress for attending my friend’s wedding in California (held at a very nice beachside resort) and I’m wondering if it would also be appropriate for a bar function coming up. The bar function is a dance and silent auction event mean to raise money for local pro bono efforts; it’s being billed as Law Prom and the ad calls for donning your “prom attire.” Can I wear this to both:

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/adrianna-papell-illusion-bodice-mesh-sheath-dress/3166906?origin=keywordsearch&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Charcoal&resultback=794

    And if the answer is no, do you have any suggestions for a dress I could wear the the bar function?

    • Holy cow! This is stunning. I think it sounds appropriate for both.

    • I think the answer is would you feel comfortable with your boss, potential employer, or opposing counsel seeing you in that dress? I think it’s pretty, but it’s not something I’d feel comfortable in while I talk to my boss.

    • Anything billed as some variation of GrownUp Prom I use as an excuse to re-wear a bridesmaid’s dress. This may have to do with my refusal to buy a dress I only wear once, so I have like 3 decent looking bridesmaids dresses in my closet. Personally, that’s the route I would go.

      Though, WOWZA. This dress you bought is gorgeous.

    • Oooh-la-la! Now I wish I had an occasion to wear that dress! Boss or no boss, I’d wear that bad boy!

    • I think it is perfect! It’s a gala type event, no one expects you to show up in work clothes. I would feel very comfortable wearing this at the type event you describe.

  21. Does anyone here have advice for gift giving for a 12 year old girl? It’s my DH’s goddaughter’s birthday this weekend and I’d love to get her something special. We gave her the Double Daring Book for Girls for Christmas and she loved it. But I’m kinda stumped this time around! She doesn’t seem to really be in to makeup yet, but I am guessing that might change soon.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      If you think she’s poised to get into makeup (regardless of if this is your gift) make an appointment with a makeup artist (either at a counter or spa) and have them teach her how to apply makeup correctly. She’ll be excited because OMGMAKEOVER and you’ll help her avoid a lot of the mistakes girls make when starting out using makeup (why yes, I did wear blue eyeshadow almost up to my brow line to a 7th grade dance once…)

      • Probably late, but I agree with this (even though I LOVE books). My grandma did this with me for my 12th (13th?) birthday and I loved it. My mom did the same for my 12 year old cousin this past year and she was on cloud 9.

    • I have a niece that age. She is into makeup, which makes things pretty easy for me, but I gave her a set of small rollerball perfumes last year that she really liked. I also bought her a set of Judy Blume books from Amazon. I loved Judy Blume at that age.

    • In the Pink :

      You could get her a magazine subscription…or a card to download books to i-whatever or kindle or nook. At this age, they often like to “choose.”

      I would also think about perhaps a treat for an event with her … dinner/tea/lunch or a museum or show/movie.

      Finally, I know that the preteens and teens here in Tx love the James Avery jewelry. As you’re a godmother, perhaps a charm or pendant along their religious lines? I love their key rings as gifts too … especially if now at 12, she has a key to her house door.

      There’s also the consumeable. Cookie bouquet, fruit bouquet, flowers, balloons … the surprise of something delivered for her.

      Twelve is that difficult year of being in-between child and young teen, as you know. You could also ask the mom for something she’d (mom) approve of but not want to spend upon.

      • Totes McGotes :

        I especially like the idea about something delivered for her – as a preteen who ever gets something like that? I’m 33 and if I get flowers, a gift basket, etc., by delivery, I can’t wipe the smile off my face for hours, so I know I’d be blown away by it at age 12. Plus, when she gets older she won’t be able to say, “No one’s ever sent me flowers…”

    • does she like science? do they still make chemistry sets? I would have killed for one in about 7th grade.

    • I always give books. Physical books. Kids can’t have enough books and physical book reading experiences.

      2 or 3 from the following lists (links in next comment):

      * Caldecott Medal Winners
      * Newbery Medal Winners
      * American Library Association List of Frequently Banned Books

    • Research, Not Law :

      Nail polish in crazy colors? Honestly, I’d be peeved if someone gave my daughter make up before she was into it herself. 12 still seems young to me.

      Other ideas: Journal; cute apron; wood burning tool; origami kit; experience gift for her and a friends to go glass blowing, horseback riding, pottery painting, etc

    • I would advise against makeup at 12 unless her mom has said it’s okay. But nail polish is a great idea (as would be a gift certificate for a mani/pedi).

      Has she read the Percy Jackson books? Although I do favor classics like eh230 mentioned (Anne of Green Gables, Little Women, Judy Blume, etc.)

      I also like In the Pink’s idea of sending flowers. I think my stepdaughter would be really psyched about getting flowers. I don’t think she’s ever gotten them before.

      • OP here – these are all fantastic suggestions and I know I’ll be able to pick something she’ll like. They live in TX, so the James Avery suggestion may be a hit! Thanks again, all.

  22. Woods-comma-Elle :

    I’m a little late to this thread, so I will probably post this again during coffee break, but I’d love some thoughts from the hive on something.

    As some of you will know, I am currently living, and qualified, in England and I’m thinking about the CA bar exam in February. I have pretty much made up my mind to do it, but now the issue is I have to tell my firm. I do not expect my firm to contribute financially in any way (although I might be lucky, but someone else just did the NY bar and didn’t get anything paid for them), but obviously I will need cooperation in terms of the requisite time off etc.

    I work in a small team for two partners, Partner A and Partner B, whom I get on with really well, particularly Partner A, who thinks I’m a superstar and doesn’t actually know how to cope on a daily basis without me (a whole other problem altogether). However, Partner A has a bit of a tendency to act like a spoilt brat and fly off the handle at times. I expect his reaction to be (1) outrage that I don’t think working in his team is good enough that I need to do this exam (2) failure to understand why I would want to do this when in his view it will have no use to me whatsoever (3) paralytic fear that I will quit my job and move to California and (4) snide comments about how I will be far too busy in the next six months to do it.

    I am thinking that the way to deal with this is not to make a big deal out of it and certainly not make it sound like I am asking for permission. Once it has been sorted days-off wise, I don’t plan to mention it again and certainly don’t want to give Partner A any reason to question my commitment at work on account of it.

    I think I would simply say I am going to do the exam and I will need xy and z days off. I don’t actually want to sign up and pay for bar prep until I have the days off sorted, but I am also concerned that unless I tell my boss that I have already signed up for something, he will think I am asking for permission (and I do not want to give him that impression) and will say no.

    I appreciate that this is very much a know-your-boss situation, but I would love some input from people who have had a similar situation before and, even if you haven’t, I would welcome your thoughts.

    Sorry, that ended up being a bit long, but now, over to the hive!

    • Former Partner, Now In-House :

      Do you have to tell them at all why you want the time off? Why not just get the days you need, study on your own, do it and not tell them until you pass and/or are ready to divulge?

    • Maine Associate :

      I work for two attorneys similar to you and took the CA Bar in February, 2009. I had my study plan set and figured out what days I was taking off for the exam and took the days off as vacation time. I didn’t approach it as permission for the time off because I was due vacation time. They were worried about me leaving for California, but were supportive. It certainly wasn’t easy working full-time and studying but I did it and passed the first time.

    • Woods-comma-Elle :

      I could not tell them but if I ask for vacation in Feb now, they will ask why it is so far in advance and if I wait longer, work commitments may come up that mean I can’t take the time off then. Also, because it is a small team and the partner has been really supportive of me generally, I think he would get really passed if he found out I hadn’t told him and that would be way worse.

      • Tell them you are going to a family event, or a friends wedding, or your lifelong dream to visit Disneyland.

        • Totes McGotes :

          This, and when you pass, tell him you didn’t disclose it before because you didn’t want to be embarrassed if you failed.

        • AnonInfinity :

          I wouldn’t lie, personally.

          I think I would do exactly what you said in your post — “I need x,y,z days off for the California bar exam. I’m taking it because blah, blah.” If you think it would go over better, you could add something like, “Don’t worry.. I love it here, so I’m not looking for jobs in CA. Just think it would be useful because blah blah.”

          My father is a fly-off-the-handle type, and I learned just to present things to him in a neutral way, which would diffuse him. Of course, ymmv, depending on boss’s personality.

    • new york associate :

      If you’re going to tell them, I think you absolutely should come up with a reason why you’re taking the exam. They will automatically think that you’re looking for jobs in CA.

      • Agree with this – a friend recently took an out-of-state bar exam and when her firm found out, they assumed she was leaving and pre-emptively did not give her a bonus (which she was expecting and had received in past years, etc.) It’s probably a know-your-office thing, but I wouldn’t tell.

    • I recently took a bar exam in another far off state. I took two weeks off, one to study and one week to take the three day bar exam. It is really rare for associates to take two weeks off at my firm except for when they get married, though I’ve always taken working vacations throughout my 3 1/2 years with the firm. I just told my boss I was taking two weeks, I would be gone from x date to x date and I would not be available to work on vacation. I had the vacation days so he didn’t say anything at first. He later questioned where I was going (I just said the state, for vacation) and he did persistently request that I be available to work. I stood firm in that I would not be working. All and all, I had the two weeks off, I didn’t work (I did check and answer email frequently) and no disasters happened. Before taking the time off, I studied my butt off after work for about 4 months, which was difficult to do after working all day and while keeping up my hours. I did not take a bar course but I bought the bar books used and reviewed them myself. I can’t tell you if that strategy worked though as I don’t find out if I passed until November!

    • CA lawyer :

      Keep in mind that you may need your boss to talk with/respond to the character and fitness examiners.

  23. Ladies – I need to state a salary requirement in a cover letter (ugh!) and am not finding glassdoor, etc. to be very helpful. Can anyone shed some light on what a staff attorney in a non-profit in NYC might make? I am hoping to transition to a non-profit from a biglaw job, and want to be clear that I am very ok with making much less money, but not overdo it. Is it ok to just say that my salary requirement is negotiable when the listing says to include your salary requirement in the cover letter?

    • Anita (formerly S) :

      Maybe you could say that seek a salary that is commensurate with your experience and consistent with that of your peers at the organization, but that you are flexible.

    • DC Association :

      The American Society of Association Executives (ASAE) has a salary survey every couple of years for different positions in association management which is further segmented to geographic area and whatnot. I am not sure you can get the info without being a member but you can try their website asaecenter.org and see. There is also the New York Society of Association Executives (NYSAE) that might do one as well. I am pretty sure they are nysae.org. those are two good options for what would be in the realm. If you cannot access the info, I am a member of ASAE and would be happy to see if I can obtain it for you. just write back here if you need me to do it and we can hook up via email.

      • Wow, thank you so much, DC – I actually sent it off already, keeping it vague along the lines Anita suggested (thank you Anita!) – if I ever hear back, I will definitely bug you for your help though, because I checked out the website and it does seem to be members only. How awesome is this board? Help is always a couple of clicks away!

  24. Lord & Taylor had this dress in navy about 6 weeks ago.

  25. Ladies, especially law students – please be sure your social media presence and bar web page are appropriate for the public. I Googled an opposing party and found she had listed her PERSONAL address, phone number, and email (she’s an unemployed attorney, so that’s the info she listed on the bar website, accessible to the public), her personal and political interests in her Activities & Interests section of her Facebook profile (which I could still see even though she locked out her wall and photo albums) and a lot more of her body than I should see in her general Facebook profile picture (skimpy outfit). She’s a very pretty girl, and now I know where she lives, her phone number, her email address, and lots of information about her interests. This is dangerous from a personal safety standpoint as well as a professional standpoint. Please be careful.

    • While I agree with everything you’re saying about the facebook profile, I would say the bar profile may be a little trickier. In my state at least, there isn’t an option to not list an address. I wasn’t as bothered about the email and phone number, but listing my dad’s address (where I was living at the time) was a little uncomfortable. I had a few friends who got PO Boxes for this exact purpose while they were looking, but if you’re broke and unemployed it’s yet another expense you may not want to add.

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      My state’s public attorney database will default to your home address if you don’t provide a business address (and I’m pretty sure you can’t not provide an address). It will also publicly list an email address if you provide one. I always thought it was a bad idea.

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