Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Cap Sleeve Surplus Faux Wrap

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Suzi Chin for Maggy Boutique Cap Sleeve Surplus Faux Wrap6pm has a lot of sizes and colors for this Suzi Chin for Maggy Boutique dress, which is typically a reader favorite over at Nordstrom. As always, I love the high neckline, the ladylike length, and the flattering faux wrap look. This one is $39.99, and comes in five colors and sizes 2-16. Suzi Chin for Maggy Boutique Cap Sleeve Surplus Faux Wrap

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  1. spelling nitpicker :

    isn’t that supposed to be “cap sleeve SURPLICE faux wrap”?

    great dress and great price, though.

    • Yeah, I’ve seen that mistake often. Not really a spelling error, per se. More like an incorrect homonym. Although it’s not Kat’s mistake. It’s incorrect on the 6 PM site.

      • At least it’s not as bad as people posting to Etsy and Ebay about clothes with “sequence.” That one makes my eye twitch.

        • One thing I love about the comments on this site is that there is none of the rampant misspelling/bad grammar/etc. that you see on other sites. Even when someone makes a small error, like using “your” for “you’re,” she’ll usually correct it in a follow up comment. Does that make me a total snob? Yep.

          • I just sick of my thumbs and the autocorrect conspiring to make me look like an idiot!

          • See! How did I not write “I just get sick…” I don’t make such mistakes on the computer.

          • If you’re a snob, I’m right there with you. I just had a friend ask me to read a bunch of emails between her and a guy because she wanted my advice on something and all I could think of is, “he’s such a bad speller! Why do you even like him??”

          • If appreciating correct spelling and good grammar makes someone a snob, I guess I am one – and not ashamed of it!

          • Interesting! That has always bothered me a bit..we’re all smart ladies on here, and all of us have a typo every once in a while. The substance of the comment is the same. When someone comments immediately after their original post and says “Oh, I meant you’re, not your!” I wonder why they are so worried what we think of their grammar.

            Of course, I would NEVER say this about work-related correspondence, but IMO that is completely different. I edit emails I send to my boss, I do not edit my gchats and this seems to fall closer to the latter than the former.

  2. momentsofabsurdity :

    Reporting back on my TRX class – you guys were right, it is HARD. Very fun but I am sure I looked entirely ungraceful (and I definitely had poor form). I am doing a six week class so hopefully I’ll improve!

    • momentsofabsurdity, what kind of shape are you in / what other sorts of exercise do you get? I’ve always been TRX-curious, but I’ve been pretty much an elliptical-only gal for the past few years (and honestly for the past month or two, really a couch-only gal). Zero upper body strength to speak of. Do you think you need to be in pretty decent shape to start with to do TRX?

      • momentsofabsurdity :

        I have zero upper body strength. And limited lower body strength, TBH.

        Basically, I am an elliptical/spin class only kind of chick and have been going to the gym 2-3x / week for 45min-1hr. I basically only do cardio – I had a couple sessions with a personal trainer where she showed me some weights stuff, but I never had the motivation to keep up with it on my own. Lately I’ve been realizing while I’m pretty happy with my weight (beyond like, maybe 5lb I’d like to lose for swimsuit season), I’ve never really felt proud of my muscles or being *strong* and it occurred to me being strong was a much healthier goal to strive for than being skinny. So that’s why I signed up for the class.

        Definitely have no strength and I don’t think you NEED strength to start with TRX since the activities are pretty modifiable based on how much you are able to do. But it is noticeable (or at least, I felt noticeable) that I was in poorer shape than the other people in the class – where they could hold a plank (with their hips way higher than mine!) and not *collapse* afterward, have very precise controlled movements in the straps, I was kind of dangling around and letting gravity or physical forces do all the work, shaking, definitely out of breath sooner, etc.

        I am hoping that’s something that improves – but it isn’t something that I felt like would have prevented me from starting. I was able to *do* all the exercises – just not really do them well. I’m sure if I saw a video of myself, I’d start laughing at all my “cheats”/poor form/whatever but I didn’t feel like any exercise was really beyond me altogether – more like it was way harder than it really ought to have been. I do recommend it though – the fact that I’m so sore today, for me, shows how little I’ve been moving/working some of those muscles, and TRX seemed to really use all of them – I am basically sore *everywhere*, especially in my core.

      • SpaceMountain :

        I exercise at home, and bought a TRX about a year ago b/c you don’ t need much space for it, and it’s adaptable to any fitness level. I like it a lot. For example, I have pain and arthritis in my wrists, so I can’t do push-ups. With the TRX, you lean into the strap handles and can do push-ups without putting pressure on your wrists. All the exercises can be modified to suit your strength level. The one I bought came with books and videos for instruction. I’ve never taken a TRX class, which I imagine would be harder than the exercises I do with it.

    • Good for you! I only tried one class as a freebie and did not sign up for more because the TRX classes at that gym don’t really suit my schedule. I’m sure you’ll improve over time.

      I do run with a lady who does TRX class regularly, though, and she says she can only handle 1x per week (and I think she works out twice a day).

    • I’m glad you liked it! I haven’t been in a while because it’s just a harder workout than I feel like I have energy for at this point in my pregnancy, but I will be back as soon as this kid is born! It’s a bit of a learning curve, but definitely gets (a little) easier as you get used to the positioning. I noticed a big improvement in my strength and muscle definition after only a month or two. Love.

  3. For me, too much wrap is going on for one dress – on the bodice, skirt AND at the waist.

  4. I love this color! Really pretty.

  5. Trouble Letting Go :

    Immediate relationship TJ over here – one of my biggest issues in a relationship has always been letting go of issues after they’ve been discussed and resolved (at least temporarily). In an effort to make me both a better partner and happier overall, I’d love to be able to move on from issues without over-analyzing things to death and constantly rehashing them with my partner.

    Any advice ladies? How do you let things go and move on?

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I’m the same way and really tried to work on it recently. My otherwise awesome husband screwed up and said something dumb that hurt me. When I called him out on it, he listened attentively, apologized sincerely, and took other steps to right the wrong. Yet, like a jerk, I kept bringing it up and trying to further rehash it.

      I realized my issue was that no matter what perfect steps my husband took to fix what he had said, he couldn’t unring the bell and I was just going to still feel hurt no matter what. I had this internal conversation where I asked myself what he could possibly say different in a rehash that would fix it. There was nothing. I asked myself if there is anything more he could have done to right the wrong. There wasn’t. So, I was basically bringing it back up to get the same result but foolishly thinking something would magically take the hurt away. Realizing it wouldn’t stopped making me want to bring it up.

      I also realized that he was still very upset with himself for hurting me and every time I brought it up he would feel worse and that I was then, in effect, hurting him. That also motivated me to stop bringing it up. I didn’t want to be vindictive and cause him more pain just because, especially if he was already feeling hurt too.

      Hope that helps.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I’m the same way and really tried to work on it recently. My otherwise awesome husband screwed up and said something dumb that hurt me. When I called him out on it, he listened attentively, apologized sincerely, and took other steps to right the wrong. Yet, like a jerk, I kept bringing it up and trying to further reh@sh it.

      I realized my issue was that no matter what perfect steps my husband took to fix what he had said, he couldn’t unring the bell and I was just going to still feel hurt no matter what. I had this internal conversation where I asked myself what he could possibly say different in a reh@sh that would fix it. There was nothing. I asked myself if there is anything more he could have done to right the wrong. There wasn’t. So, I was basically bringing it back up to get the same result but foolishly thinking something would magically take the hurt away. Realizing it wouldn’t stopped making me want to bring it up.

      I also realized that he was still very upset with himself for hurting me and every time I brought it up he would feel worse and that I was then, in effect, hurting him. That also motivated me to stop bringing it up. I didn’t want to be vindictive and cause him more pain just because, especially if he was already feeling hurt too.

      Hope that helps.

    • I was bad about that for a long time. Then, I basically realized (as Blonde Lawyer wisely pointed out) that my continually bringing up the past wrong was not helping to fix anything. Those conversations never went anywhere but downhill, causing a lot of hurt and anger in the process. In some cases, I realized that I was allowing whatever was said to dredge up my own insecurities. And because I didn’t want to face those insecurities, it was easier to put the problem back on my husband and essentially make it his job to reassure me and make me feel better about myself. Which was not at all fair to him. I am the kind of person who will keep thinking about small comments made at work also, and finally realized I was doing a better job of making myself miserable over these little issues than my worst, most malicious enemy ever could. Realizing it is half the battle, I think, and so I try to take a lot of deep breaths and focus on the positive outcomes – what can we do to fix this, rather than endlessly rehashing it. HTH

  6. I thought about buying this dress last time it was on 6 pm, but I have one concern – Nordstrom lists the length as 44″ for size 8; 39″ for 8 petite, but 6 pm lists it as 39″ for size 6 regular. So is the 6 pm one actually a lot shorter or is there some kind of discrepancy? On Nordstrom is looks like its at the bottom of the knee, whereas 6pm shows it on a model that is 5’7″ and its just above the knee.
    Gah – this sooo ties into the picture posted earlier this week with skirt lengths written on the women’s leg and how just a few inches can make such a difference between flirty, modest or frumpy.

    • Judging from the model, the 44″ length must be a typo. I’d be willing to bet that’s a 39-40″ dress.

      That said, maybe it’s the model’s pose in the Nordstrom ad, but this dress makes her look MUCH wider than she actually. When I saw the post, I thought it was an ad for a plus size dress.

    • anonypotamus :

      I bought this exact dress (same color) from Nordstroms last year, and it was much longer than I expected (I ended up having my tailor take a few inches off the bottom). I am 5’9″ and it came to the bottom of my knee. Post-modifications, it hits right above the knee and personally, I think it is a little more flattering now. But, in the picture above, the dress looks more reasonably lengthed, so maybe they have changed the length?

  7. Danbury, CT? :

    I bought this dress last year and returned it; it didn’t work for me at all, especially in the hips. I am borderline petite and hourglassy, and I got it in two sizes, each in petite and regular (so four versions total).

    On a non-fashion-related note, my husband and I may be relocating to Danbury, CT. We are trying to get a sense of the town and the area. If any c-readers are familiar with it, I would love to hear your impressions. We are from the SFB area, and we meet a lot of the stereotypes: liberal, outdoorsy, green. We are not high earners (or big spenders). Also, my husband is from outside the US, as you can tell from his accent (and as you might guess from his appearance). We don’t have kids now, but we may have one or two a few years down the line. Basically, we want to make sure Danbury is the kind of place where we could make friends and would want (and could afford) to live long-term.

    • Hi! I live about 20 minutes from danbury! I can’t compare it to SFB, but I moved here from Florida, and I quite like it (though it is COLD right now.) For the most part, this area of CT can come off stuffy and snobby (and parts of it are) but the towns are pretty close and personable.
      Fairfield County is pretty expensive, generally, and when I was looking for a new apt at the end of 2012, Danbury was a top contender because it is cheaper than the area I live in now. You do have to be careful, as with most towns, there are some shady sides of Danbury.
      Plenty is nearby, there is a mall in Danbury, you’re only a train ride from NYC, etc. And when I moved here, I really noticed the stereotypes you referred to–lots of people in CT go hiking, ride bikes every where, everyone has the green reusable bags at Stop and Shop. So I think you’d have an easy time adjusting to that.
      YAY readers of this site coming to CT!

    • And if you have any questions, fire away!

    • Francie Nolan :

      Hi There!

      I agree with De’s assesment.

      I grew up on the other side of the sate, southeastern CT, now I am on Long Island. A short distance, but it was still a bit of culture shock. CT has small senic towns, the town I grew up in has about 4000 people, I knew everyone and they knew me. People are friendly, but in a bit of a quiet way, you have to get to know them, its known as “Swap Yankee Mindset”.

      I hope you like CT it is a great place to live with kids and I miss it.

    • Divaliscious11 :

      Although Fairfield County as a whole is diverse, that is primarily skewed by Bridgeport and Stamford. Danbury and the small towns are not particularly diverse. We lived in one of the towns for a while, and after having people ask my husband if he was available for yard work (he was doing stuff in OUR yard) and having the police know me by name, after of course pulling us over to see if we were lost, because we were one of a very few families of color, that got a little old. That said, I DO miss the area. We ultimately moved, though, after we had kids, because despite having great schools, we didn’t want our kids feeling like stray chocolate chips in a giant sugar cookie. I had that experience growing up and while I survived it, no sense putting my kids through it as well.

      • On a similar note, one of the interesting (not good interesting) things about Fairfield County is the spread of income–in fact, I believe it has the largest disaprity in the country–mainly between Bridgeport, a very poor city, and Darien, one of the richest cities. When I moved to CT from Florida, I will say that walking into the law school’s orientation, I couldn’t help but notice that everyone was white.
        But as Divaliscious noted, I live in Stamford now, and don’t find this to be the case in that part of CT. The closer you get to the water, the higher and more diverse and the population.

    • spelling nitpicker :

      Google: “city-data forum danbury ct”

      you’ll get plenty of un-PC mean comments about any place, but i find that if a place gets an overwhelming number of complaints about certain aspects, there’s some truth to it. use it like you use tripadvisor with hotels and restaurants. there is some median “answer” to your question. the posters on that site make the place sound like it’s as dull as dishwater and provincial to boot. maybe they’re skewed, or maybe they’re right.

      can you go there and look around? is this a town where you could actually walk around without people thinking you’re a trespasser or homeless because everybody is so car-bound? is there stuff to do after 9pm or 10pm? do you like ethnic food? is there any decent ethnic food available in that town?

    • I’ve lived in and around CT (actually up the road more in New Haven) for almost a decade now and am finally moving permanently. I also grew up in the Bay Area (that’s what SFB is, right?). I can’t say I’m a huge fan of CT, but it definitely has its advantages.

      You will be very close to NYC and all that it offers. One thing that I would definitely take advantage of in CT is the Italian-American food. This is not the gourmet Italian stuff, this is the totally delicious comfort food pizza and big pasta dishes. There is NOTHING like it on the west coast, and I will miss it a lot (but my waistline will be thankful).

      I think Fairfield county is a totally good place to raise a family. Yes, a lot of the towns are expensive, but there are ones that will be more mid-price range if you move a bit further north/east into CT.

      My complaints about CT are mostly that it’s like one big suburb, but you’ll be much closer to NYC in case you need urban things. I also feel that it’s very expensive for what it is. I guess I would explain it as having worse versions of all the good things in New England – whether it’s food or mountains or pretty coastlines. There’s better stuff to be found further up north. You should also be prepared for everything to be much older (infrastructure, housing stock etc.) than SFB. Finally, it’s definitely much less diverse than SFB. I’ve never experienced any real racism (I’m Asian), but there are definitely gated/exclusive neighborhoods that are more unfriendly if you drive through with the “wrong” car.

    • Anonforthis :

      I grew up in Fairfield Cty. Lived in New Caanan for a bit, then lived and went to high school in Fairfield. My college roommate was from teh greater-Danbury area, and it really much, much different than what people call “lower Fairfield County.” Danbury is more of a city, good parts and sketchy parts. There is not a lot of diversity. The suburbs of Danbury (litchfield and fairfield counties) are wealthy and white with good schools.

      If you watched any of the Newtown shootings coverage, Danbury is in that general vicinity. The suburbs look similar to those that were on TV.

  8. Can anyone recommend a pant that is similar to the fit of The Limited Drew cut? I need a new pair of black pants and the Drew cut typically fits me well, but don’t have time to wait for them to be shipped to me in Canada. For reference I’m 5’4″, size 12, thick waist. Thanks in advance!

    • I also find the Drew cut fits me well. I don’t think they’re similar per se, but I have Banana Republic Martin pants in multiple colors in the same size I wear from the Limited.

  9. ARGGHHH I JUST bought this dress at full price from Nordstrom (which I NEVER do, but I loved it) and took the tags off!

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      Nordstrom will totally take it back. They’re classy like that.

    • Call them, tell them you took the tags off accidentally or that now that you’ve worn it for the first time, it fits very differently already and you don’t like it anymore. Ask them if they can accomodate (maybe with store credit). They are usually pretty nice on the phone! I send stuff back to them all the time and they’ve never sent anything back.

      • No need to do this with Nordstrom. Just tell them about the lower price and they will likely refund you the difference.

        • I don’t like lying to a store, whether or not you’d need to fib to achieve your goal of getting a price adjustment. I’d just explain the price issue and ask for a rebate or store credit for the difference.

          • Thanks, all! I had no idea Nordstrom was so accommodating.

          • SAlit-a-gator :

            Nordstrom’s customer service rocks – they’ve price matched for me before. I just called them up, told them I found the item at a lower price, gave them the website, and voila!

    • MaggieLizer :

      They might still give you a price adjustment. You can either call or use the online chat feature; either can credit your account. Nordie’s customer service is

    • Nordies will probably either take it back, give you a price adjustment, or probably give you a neck massage too. Seriously – call them.

  10. Anne Shirley :

    Wearing the blue Lands End dress from a couple Fridays ago. Love it. Comfortable, fairly casual but good enough for Friday biz cas, size 12 at Ann Taylor wearing Medium.

    • I got it too. I got the large and well, its a bit large (okay kind of more than a bit) – but I sort of like that. My last Ponte knit dress was way clingy. And the Ponte knit is sooo soft, its like wearing pajamas. wonderful pajamas. Should have gotten a medium though. When I order another color (if…I mean if…) I’ll order a medium.

    • MaggieLizer :

      Whoops I should’ve posted my PSA (25% off today) up here. I’m getting another one of those dresses too.

    • kerrycontrary :

      Ugh the dress is SO big on me. I’m a 6 and 5’8″ tall and the small is literally 4 inches too large around the waist. In what world am I an “extra small person”? In what world? It was only $20 though so I think I’m just going to have it tailored instead of returning i.

      • Anne Shirley :

        In the world of Lands End!! The world where my curvy size 12 butt is medium. It’s a happy place that embraces dairy, beef, and beer.

        • Anne Shirley I love you for this! And since LE is headquartered in Wisconsin, I would say the dairy, beef & beer is totally accurate!

          • I just want to say that any world where Anne Shirley and Meg Murry hang out is a world where I want to live. If that’s in Wisconsin, wearing Lands End clothes, count me in.

      • Happy Anon :

        Happened to me too. I’m 135 lbs and 5’9″, so I got the small. It was a tent on me. Girls who are 5’9″ having to buy size extra small? Crazy!

    • CrimsonClover :

      …I just broke down and ordered this dress in the Rich Eggplant color, both a L and M, though the Medium would be a stretch in every way/shape/form and I’m sure it’s the one going back. First order from Lands End though, so maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised!

      I am trying to be soooooo good and really limit my clothing budget this year (I was actively “building” a corporate-ish work wardrobe for the past two years), but I am in the process of losing weight and am at one of those “don’t want to invest much into clothing that I hopefully won’t be wearing that long but none of my current clothing fits flatteringly anymore” type plateaus. (This isn’t meant to sound moaney, but it’s just frustrating when everything once worked and now it doesn’t in your closet)

      I guess I’m writing it off as a gift to self for being in a dept. in which individuals are dropping like flies due to various illnesses…!

  11. Yay! Fruegel Friday’s !!!!!

    I LOVE this dress, and want to have my hair look this! Then mabye I can get a boyfreind that will respect ME for ME! The manageing partner is STILL lookeing at me like he is mad at me b/c of the POWERPOINT issue. I gave him a copy of the slide’s I sent into the bar association and it is NOT my fault he did NOT look at them b/f he went in to give the CLE! Why is it ALWAYS my fault when some thing goes wrong? FOOEY!

    Does the HIVE have any idea’s on what I should do or tell him? My bonus is due at the end of the month (NEXT WEEK), and I think he is thinkeing of lowering it b/c so many of the peeople in the CLE thought his slide’s were so FUNNY!

    I am goieing home this weekend and will watch TV and DVD’s with mom. Dad is mulleing over an offer to teach a class at DUKE in the Fall, and will be headeing out there with mom to look at retirement home’s there. I SAID stay in LI, and if you have to teach a class, go there 1 day a week and they will pay for you to take a PLANE! He says real estate is cheap there and he can get a MINT for MY LI home. I said where will I go on weekend’s if I am not busy in the CITY? I do NOT want to go to DURAMM. FOOEY! What in the world is in DURAMM for me? I am a city girl at heart, and DC is about as far South as I like. DOUBEL FOOEY! Kat knows what I am talkeing about.

  12. How on earth do you keep focused on a job (you hate) when you have an interview for a job (you think you’d love) the next week? It’s a really competitive position so odds are I won’t get the job, which is all the more reason to keep on keepin’ on at the cr@ppy job, but Friday + interview = one lazy/distracted panda.

    • You don’t, and cling to pomodoro for dear life. It only gets worse if you are called back for a second round. If you actually get offered the position? Forget it. I’m in that situation, but I haven’t signed the written offer yet (doing that in person Monday, they want me come in and meet some more people and sign it there) so I can’t even give notice. It is AGONIZING. Really.

      Pomodoro is my lifeline. Without it I’d be just shopping and reading this site all day!

    • Anonymous NYer :

      in totally a similar position right now. In my head I’m already out the door at cr@ppy job, but I still have a few more hurdles to clear before new job is officially mine (unique job where I was selected, but must pass other tests/etc first). I don’t have an official start date for new job yet because of this unique situation, so I haven’t even given notice yet, but my head is completely out the door. I do high volume fam ct litigation too, so it’s not like I can just not prepare for court at all. I hate this! (so basically no advice, just commiseration).

      • Can I ask what field / practice area new job is in? I practice in family law as well and am thinking about an exit strategy. Thanks!

  13. Divaliscious11 :

    Oh dear… may have t break my buying ban – I have this in several colors and it is my go to work dress three out of four seasons….

    • If you do, report back and let us know if its the exact same dress just styled a little differently or if its actually a variation. I’ve been skeptical lately as to whether items at flash sale sites/discount stores are actually the same thing or if they are slightly cheaper variations. Sometimes I’m ok with the slightly cheaper variations, but other times this seems like a bait and switch and really annoys me.

      • As to the flash sale sites, there is a good chance it’s lower quality merchandise (just like outlet/factory stores).

        6pm is actually owned by Zappos and is legit — I’ve bought a ton of stuff from them and there is no difference in quality. It’s usually just overstocks from Zappos. Net a porter and the outnet have a similar relationship.

        • While I’m thinking about it, a few more that are known for “real” merchandise:
          TJMaxx Runway
          Off 5th (Saks outlet)

      • S in Chicago :

        To be honest, I’ve had problems with consistency with this dress even when it has been the same purchase at Nordstrom. I have it in the purple and in navy and they fit just a little different (purple was larger and seemed to have more gathering at the waist–it’s still nice but not nearly as flattering as the navy). I tried in a different color, in-store and it had even more gathering at the waist and looked awful.

        Because I like it so much (when it fits right), I’ve also tried the same style with long sleeves–again, too much of the waist gathering. Even in the pictures at 6 p.m. right now, I can tell I wouldn’t like the blue but that the multi would probably look like I would want. So tempted right now to try the multi, but just not wanting to go through the hassle of returning if it’s not going to fit the way I desire.

        • Totally agree with this. I have this dress in a bunch of colors and a couple sizes. They each fit a little differently (but all are flattering on me – plus size, hourglass).

  14. Concealing Makeup Advice :

    Can anyone recommend a high coverage foundation that is not cakey? I am blind and need something to cover up unsightly blemishes but I can’t always locate them by touch to use concealer on the one spot. Is there something with enough coverage to conceal the “flatter” blemishes? Of course, I am able to find and conceal the occasional monstrosity with regular concealer, but what about acne scars for example? Any advice is appreciated.

    • I like Make Up For Ever liquid foundation. I didn’t think it was cakey. It does have a fragrance, but it didn’t irritate my skin.

      • Second the recommendation for this brand. It’s the best, most natural looking full coverage foundation I’ve found.

      • agree

      • I also reccomend Makeup Forever. I have the HD foundation. They have a great variety of colors. If you go to Sephora they could help match you with the correct shade.

    • I just switched to Clinique Stay Matte. I don’t know how fully full coverage you need, but I have really obnoxious skin (oily, occasional acne, splotchy, occasionally dry…) and this works well. I use Clinique Superpowder on top. It isn’t cakey, and it does not get greasy (with or without the powder).

    • Have you tried BB creams before? I have the Boscia BB Cream and it really does wonders. One application combines moisturizer, SPF 27 and pretty substantial-yet-glowy-looking coverage. One caveat – I actually had to stop using it, bc it bothered my skin – but I have unusually sensitive skin, and I know others who love it.

  15. Does anyone know how the sizes run on this dress? I am 5’5″, 145 lbs, usually a 10 in JCrew and Banana Republic dresses. Wondering if I should size up or down?

  16. Whats the land end coat that people like? I am looking for an everyday winter coat that will look ok for work

  17. TJ: Trying to get back in shape/shed some lbs, etc. I would like some “me gifts” to celebrate meeting goals in this area and am considering splurging on new athletic gear. Is Lululemon all that it’s rumored to be? There is a showroom in my town and their free hemming is a plus for my short legs.

    • It is all that it is rumored to be and more- go to the store and check it out, I’d be shocked if you don’t find something you absolutely love. Their only problem, in my opinion, is a lack of bras for larger chested ladies, but, I do love their free hemming.

    • I know people adore Lululemon – but I’ve found that I’ve been just as happy with off-brand gear. Plus, the crotch of my one pair of lemon yoga pants kind of got all messed up way more quickly than I expected. I mean even Athleta – which is a nice brand – is essentially half the price. But I’ve gotten good, solid running gear at places like Costco and even Kohl’s (weirdly enough). Other than socks (seriously socks) and sports bras – I’m really not sure its worth investing in that wildly overpriced stuff.

      Please do not kill me lemonites.

      • Most of my favorite workout clothes are from Costco. I like lulu for the accessories, though. I have a beanie hat to wear running outside in the winter & I love that it has a hole for my ponytail.

      • CrimsonClover :

        I shall second this and add that I’m actually a huge fan of Wal-Mart’s Danskin line of work-out/lounge clothing. The prices can’t be beat ($3.95 for the non-huggy active dry tanks?!?!) and lots of variety in lengths and fits on pants (usually $11.00), and they wash and wear really well. Once they totally stretch out (may not on you, but I have a large, cannot-be-restrained-with-a-common-sports-bra-chest) and start to show wear I can replace them and not feel bad about it. Plus, as someone who does heated vinyasa yoga, there comes a point where the item, no matter how much $$$ it costs, has seen enough sweat to go the way of the rag-bin.

      • Good socks really do make a HUGE difference. I always thought it was a waste to get expensive socks, but I have since been a convert. I love Nike’s running socks with the arch support.

        Don’t spend extra money on yoga pants – I have found Old Navy’s line of athletic gear to be awesome – they are opaque and hold up well. I would spend my money on bras, socks, and shoes.

        Also, slightly related – wear different shoes for weight lifting/dance classes than running. Running shoes aren’t meant to be used for side to side movements, better to get training shoes for those things.

      • anonypotamus :

        Heehee for some reason, when I read “lemonites,” all I could think about was a bunch of rabid liz lemon (from 30) rock fans.

      • I’d never kill anyone for criticizing Lululemon. Especially not you, TCFKAG.

        I’m inclined to agree with you. I have some Lululemon pieces that have held up remarkably well (going on five years), but other than that, I think there’s a lot of fuss over average products. And I went through my hard core yoga teacher phase and tried literally every brand out there, so I’ve done my research.

        Plus, I don’t love that the company founder is a huge Ayn Rand fanboy.

        • They are just – so flattering. So very flattering. So much moreso than more off-brands, which I wanted to be devoted to. They are the only legging-type running pants I will wear in public. I even find myself trying to wear my one lemon top all the time rather than the 4 Champion ones from Target that I’ve sworn by for years. It just has really flattering lines in the front, and it has a pretty back with a teeny ruffle across the top, and honestly it is way more comfortable fabric. The Champion ones feel kind of gross to me now once I really get going. Maybe I need to branch out and try Athleta, though.

          Agreed re the company founder, though – yech.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      I have heard they last for ages and ages and they definitely *look* cute. I’ve also heard they’re very thoughtful about the little details (pocket for your keys, etc).

      But it also seems kind of silly to me to spend $65 on a tank to go out in, let alone a tank that I’m going to huff and puff and sweat in. So I have always looked/lusted and haven’t yet made the plunge of indulgence.

      In the meantime, pre-splurge, I’ve actually heard great things about Old Navy’s activewear line, particularly their compression pants.

      • I have 2 pairs of compression pants from Gap Outlet, $16 each on sale, and no complaints. They even have a pocket for keys! I don’t buy into trying to look good while working out either, so I am probably not the person to advise about how to splurge on activewear! I reward myself with totally non-workout related things, and most of my exercise clothes are old, ugly, clashing, and unflattering. To me only good, expertly fitted running shoes are worth going upmarket for in this area of my wardrobe. `

      • Maddie Ross :

        Speaking of other more affordable options, both Gap and Target have upped the ante lately. They have each come out with clothes that “look” like Lululemon and I’ve gotten some good deals. Not the same customer service obviously, but since I’m tall, I never need pants hemmed. I’ve been really happy with some of the purchases. They look cuter than some of their older stuff and have some of the same little details that Lulu’s has — lobster-claw hands (which I love), key pockets, softer toggles on zippers, etc.

      • Turtle Wexler :

        Love Old Navy running tights (max compression) and the GapFit jackets that are sort of a silky material on the outside and fleecy inside. I wouldn’t pay more for workout gear, with the exception of really good sports bras and footwear.

    • I don’t own anything from them, but I did recently (October) buy a running top from Lucy, which is also an overpriced athletic apparel store and it is awesome. Like, re-think my stance on over-priced athletic apparel awesome. I always wash it right after I use it so I can use it again. Its flattering and comfortable and much better than the Nike, Champion, Asics tops that I’ve gotten at Marshalls and TJ Maxx.

      Nordsroms’ line, Zella is rumored to be very good and is roughly 1/2 the price of Lululemon. I have the ubiquitous black yoga pants from there and they are indeed great. I wear those more as lounge-wear / casual Saturday errand wear rather than to actual workout.

      • I recently realized that there is much more discounted workout wear at Nordstroms than there is at my local running store. Naturally, YMMV, but it’s worth checking out.

      • I was told that Zella is designed by a former lululemon designer. Also, I prefer Lucy to Lulu. My friends swear Lulu is better quality than Lucy, but the Lucy cut is way more flattering on my body type (curvy 5’6″). Lulu tops seem to make me look like I’m wearing a 40 year old woman’s top (I’m 30). Lulu pants are made for tall women (5’10”), so when you hem them for someone my height, the tapering at the knee doesn’t hit at the right place. I’ve seen a lot of fit 5’10” women look really good in Lulu, and a lot of fit 5’4″ women whose Lulu pants make their legs look short and stubby. The high end workout clothes ARE significantly more comfortable and functional, IMO, so I still buy Lucy (on sale!).

    • It’s not sports gear related but I think a Clarisonic is a great “me” gift.

    • Boston Blonde :

      Lululemon is nice, but I prefer the brand Zella at Nordstrom quality wise. A lot of it ends up on sale as well.

    • What I like that is cheaper and I think just as quality as lululemon for pants is Zella, the nordstrom brand. Seriously, their live in leggings are to die for. Go buy a pair, you will not regret it.

    • what kind of work outs are you doing? i love lululemon tanks for yoga/kickboxing/gym wear but really don’t think their pants are all that they are rumored to be. i recently got a few pairs of leggings from under amour’s studiolux line and they are amazing and much better than lulu’s pants. highly recommend them.

    • S in Chicago :

      Check out the Zella line at Nordstrom. Really lasts and fun styles.

    • I prefer Athleta. Lululemon has a terrible return policy. Athleta, on the other hand, has a fabulous return policy. There are no limitations.

      • This. I got burned on trying to return a couple of tanks from Lulu last summer. Overall, I buy far too much workout gear, and I do have some running tanks from Lulu that I love, but I generally search for the cheaper stuff. And another plug for Nordstrom’s customer service – I bought a pair of Nike running tights that ripped the first time I wore them (right along the waist seam), and was able to return them.

    • locomotive :

      Costco workout/yoga pants and running jackets are eerily similar to lululemons at a fraction of the price. All you won’t get is the lulu logo. I own 3 pairs of lulu yoga pants and capris, 2 running jackets and 3 tanks and I have switched to buying the yoga pants and jackets from costco in the past 2 years.

    • Wow, thanks ladies. I am large of bust so I am used to spending money for good sports bras. For shoes, I get fitted at a running store for the running shoes and wear designated cross trainers for gym time. Unfortunately, Costco and Nordstroms aren’t in my town (I miss them soo much) so I will see what I can get online. Love my Gap breathable tops, wish their cotton yoga pants didn’t fade so badly. Another me gift will definitely be some spa time.

      • Research, Not Law :

        If you are large of bust, I recommend you check out Moving Comfort for sports bras.

        • +1. I just bought one on sale at Zappos, and I realize now what I’ve been missing all my life. No more doubling up on sports bras for me!

        • Love those bras. May need to check Zappos, I need some more.

        • My Moving Comfort bras always rust really badly (hooks) and in one instance, the underwire actually rusted and snapped (within six months). In my opinion, the best sports bra, hands down is this the Wacoal Underwire Sports Bra (link to follow). The underwire is on the outside to prevent digging and chafing while working out. Its really comfortable and has held up wonderfully. It fits so much better than the Moving Comfort one I have (had, since I threw it out after the wire snapped).

          One of the reasons I am drawn to the pricier workout wear (well, the one Lucy top I have) is that the fabric is so much sturdier and really sucks the girls in. I like to have a tight top on top of a sports bra for maximum hold while running.

    • SoCal Gator :

      Let me add my strong endorsement for Lululemon. There is no comparison between Lulu, which while pricey, lasts forever, is very well made and fits me perfectly, and any other brand I have tried. It fits me and lasts so much better than Nike, Gap, Zella, Under Armour, New Balance, Target/Champion. For me, it’s totally worth the splurge because in the long run, it outlasts every other brand I have tried. I have Lulu pieces that are a year old and still like new. I work out 6 days a week so I frequently launder my workout gear and our water here is hard. Nike turns gray and loses its elasticity in a few months. Lulu does not.

  18. What is the sizing like on this dress? I am pear shape and am not sure whether to order my true size or go up a size.

    • I wear the plus size version of this dress, so I don’t know if it translates to straight sizes, but I actually find that it runs a little large.

  19. Trouble Letting Go :

    Stuck in moderation so apologies if this posts twice but:

    Immediate relationship TJ over here – one of my biggest issues in a relationship has always been letting go of issues after they’ve been discussed and resolved (at least temporarily). In an effort to make me both a better partner and happier overall, I’d love to be able to move on from issues without over-analyzing things to death and constantly reh*a*shing them with my partner.

    Any advice ladies? How do you let things go and move on?

    • Assuming the issue really is (at least temporarily) resolved then I’d wait until the issue presents itself again a few more times (3 more) and wait until then to re-point it out. At that point, you can bring up the other two times -calmly. That way your partner is presented with evidence of both his grievance and your attempt to hold back and not nag.

      But if something really nags on you so badly that you can’t let it go, is it possible that it’s not as resolved as you’d like it to be and maybe that’s why you keep coming back to it?

    • I think it depends on why you hang onto them. You put (at least temporarily) in parens. Is it because you “forgive” quickly to stop the unpleasantness of the argument but without actually forgiving? If so, then it’s bound to rear its head again since you never really put it to bed, just covered it up for a little bit. Also, when you fight, do you fight about the real thing or about a superficial thing that’s a symptom of the real thing? For example, do you fight over not putting dishes in the dishwasher when what you’re really feeling is “you take me for granted and don’t care that you’re making extra work for me, which makes me insecure about how much you love me and feel resentful”? If you never get to the deep problem, you’ll still feel stung over the symptom because “oh, yeah, sorry I didn’t put the dishes away” isn’t the same as “I love you so much and I’m sorry that I did something that made you doubt that.” Not sure any of these are on the mark, but I do think that not being able to let go is less about the letting go process and more about what caused the hurt in the first place.

    • Trouble Letting Go :

      I think you’ve both picked up on the underlying issue that the problem or fight isn’t truly resolved – but what about in situations where things aren’t or can’t be easily resolved? i.e. you have a disagreement about something your partner does and both people promise to try harder – you don’t really know if things are resolved but you need to just give it time. This is my issue but instead it keeps weighing on my mind.

      I’m also horrible at compartmentalizing so I’m trying to focus on work while some nagging issue keeps distracting me. Any advice on how to better compartmentalize?

      • What is this person’s track record on following through with “I’ll try harder” promises? What about previous partners? As for compartmentalizing, I wish I had some suggestions but I’m naturally a very logical, not very emotional person so my brain just comparmentalizes itself.

      • MaggieLizer :

        People tend to make the same kinds of mistakes multiple times. Not because they don’t love you or they aren’t trying, but just because it’s tough to change a habit. Give SO credit to the extent that he’s trying. Obviously he cares enough about you to try to break a habit, so you have to stop yourself from equating “SO not doing X” with “SO doesn’t care about me.” You can still be disappointed that he hasn’t done X, but there’s a difference between being disappointed in someone and feeling hurt by someone. If it’s not personal, don’t take it personally.

        That doesn’t mean X isn’t important or that you should accept someone who can’t do X, just that it’s important to separate “inability to do X” from “inability to care about me.” Is this an emotional need that’s going unfulfilled, or is this just something you would ideally want but can live without? If SO never improves much more than he already has, is that something you can live with?

        • Amen to that. I had a couple of bad habits that drove Mr. TBK up. the. wall. when we first got married. He often got frustrated that my promises to stop doing those things weren’t entirely successful. That always upset me because I felt like I wasn’t getting credit for the effort I was putting in, or the progress I’d made. (The real bad habit was being way too interrupty. My family is loud and all talks over each other all the time. Mr.’s family is NOT like that — think My Big Fat Boston Irish Wedding and you’ve about got it. ) Because he felt like interrupting was the same as devaluing his contribution (when I felt like I was just jumping in and adding to it), it upset him every time. For us, the first step was me seeing how important this was to him. To me, it didn’t mean in the least that I didn’t value what he was saying but I needed to see how this made him feel. Next, he needed to have patience as I changed how I interacted with him. I would consciously not interrupt several times in a conversation then BAM! interruption! I felt like I didn’t get credit for the five times I successfully didn’t interrupt, which made me feel like not trying. Once he saw that I was actually making an effort and was trying not to interrupt anymore, I felt more appreciated and was therefore more willing to try. I still interrupt sometimes. Although now I often interrupt then, after the first word, say “oh! I interrupted! Sorry. Go on.” He now sees this as about the best he’s going to get and realizes that this has nothing to do with how I feel about him, or what he has to say, or anything else besides me just growing up in a very interrupty culture.

      • Trouble Letting Go :

        I think this is key. I’m having trouble separating the fact that this is a real limitation of his versus he doesn’t care about me. When deep down, I really know he does – I have an unfortunate tendency of expecting too much from my partners without really accepting them for who they are. I love my SO and really want things to work so I’m trying to be more realistic and accept him for the wonderful man he is, rather than nitpicking at things that he’s not good at. Unfortunately, it’s easier said than done.

        As a side note, I just bought him something online that I know will make him really happy because he lost it a few months ago and feel much more positive towards him now. I think I need to keep reminding myself that when I let myself wallow and feel resentful, I feel worse but when I make a concerted effort to move on and appreciate him, I feel much better, even if our problems aren’t 100% resolved.

    • Sorry I’m so late to jump in. Work is a little crazy!

      This is the kind of thing I worked on in therapy after my divorce. Not your issue specifically but I was worried that there were things that happened in my marriage that might have echoed problems in my parents’ marriage or that could easily become patterns for me with a new partner. I specially asked to address that in therapy with the idea that I wanted to figure out, for myself, if I could break the pattern or even if it was something specific to that relationship and not really a way I treat all men. I found it very helpful.

  20. So. I had my first screening interview (i.e. probably won’t go anywhere) for a non-legal job today. Don’t know what to think – I’m super excited that I might set off on this new course in life and get these new opportunities. And then part of me feels like doing it would be failing.

    And then the rational part of me tells me to stop being foolish and I’m not going to get a second round interview so just to shut up. But cross your fingers and your toes for me.

    • Crossed!

    • So if you into this field, you’re a failure and have to feel bad about it, and if you don’t get past this round for a job in this field, you’re a failure and have to feel bad about it? ;) I catch myself thinking this way all the time.

      Enjoy your weekend, and we’re wishing for the best for you.

    • Congrats and good luck! And don’t feel like a failure for leaving the field. I know many who have left the practice of law (some immediately after law school, some after long legal careers) and all are much happier now. Sometimes you have to do something to know you don’t like to do it.

    • I felt the same way — until I saw the wonderful benefits and vacay time that came with my non-law firm job. Never looked back!

      Good luck – I hope this ends up being an exciting and fulfilling path for you no matter where you end up.

    • Toes and fingers crossed! Look at it this way – without the law degree you might not be as qualified, so you’re still using it, so if you get it, awesome, if not, keep trying!

    • Good luck! Fingers and toes crossed. I think that screening interviews outside of the legal field are more likely to lead to second interview offers.

    • Sending good thoughts your way!