Suit of the Week: St. John Collection

womens-suitFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about women’s interview suits, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Happy Wednesday! For the suit of the week, I’m liking this boucle knit blazer and pencil skirt from St. John Collection. I love the doubled flap pockets, the slight horizontal pattern going throughout the fabric, and the single button…  and I kind of like that they note that the blazer was “made in USA of Italian materials.” The blazer (St. John Collection Eastside Knit Fitted Blazer) is $1395, and the pencil skirt (St. John Collection Eastside Knit Pencil Skirt) is $395, both at Saks.

womens-blazer womens-suiting

(L-5)

Comments

  1. Love it!

    • Ditto -love it!

      • I want this suit.

      • Here’s my St. John beef: I’ve never seen anything lined.

        To me, that would mean that I can wear things in the summer when I go bare-legged, but that wouldn’t work with tights in the winter. Plus, for that much $, could they just line things? I’ve had other wool knit pieces that are lined. And I’m not interested in being able to stretch things up a size like they claim.

        It’s a lovely suit, but the no-lining thing makes things harder to wear.

        • Pregnancy Hormones :

          If you have $1800 to spend on a suit, you can afford a $20 half slip.

          • There’s no slip for a jacket though. I have one unlined jacket. It’s hard to wear with anything but a silky sleeveless shell. Too much friction.

          • That was my first thought. I wear the st. john skirt suits with a half slip (bottom) and silk cami (top.) but it would work just as well with a full slip. either way st. john feels like a million dollars on.

          • I’ve decided to try St. John next time I need a suit. But I don’t buy them all that often so I have time to save up now. :-)

        • If you are worried about tights and skirt clinging, how about a slip? I have a bunch of cotton/ponte/jersey dresses and find that throwing on a half-slip really helps skirts lay better (or lie?). I got a cheap one at Kohl’s or Target. It’s nice when it’s cold out, too, seems to add a little extra warmth.

        • phillygirlruns :

          i strongly prefer my skirts and pants to be unlined unless the fabric is scratchy/uncomfortable. i’d much rather throw on a slip during the winter to make things work with tights than deal with sweaty skin and lining in the summer.

          • Not to mention I’d much rather be able to wash my slip everyday rather than wait for the lining to be cleaned only with the suit..

      • agreed – love it!

    • I love this. If only it wasn’t completely out of my price range. Sigh.

    • Stephanie :

      Am I just really cheap? I work in house at a senior counsel level, husband has decent job making similar money, no student loan debt, VERY reasonable mortgage given our affluent location, kids in public school. But I just can’t spend this on a suit– it would seriously deplete our vacation and house remodeling funds! Even though I know I would wear it once a month for 15 years. It’s pissing me off because there are so few interesting suit offerings– it’s either inteview black, Theory plain stuff, super cheap stuff, or then this.

  2. momentsofabsurdity :

    I think this is lovely. But navy is my favorite color these days.

  3. Question re: stacking rings.

    I have a few rings from high school and college that were given to me as gifts. They are very special to me but, because I was so young, they are really very small and dainty and no longer look “right” on my 15-year-older hands.

    Would it look weird if I “stack” them into a big right hand ring like I see people doing with their engagement and wedding rings? They don’t “match” per se but each is a traditional colored centerstone with diamond accents and in yellow gold.

  4. Anyone have a good site to order glasses from? Most of the shops around me close by the time I get home and I really need a new pair of frames. Thanks!

    • anonypotamus :

      Friends have liked Warby Parker. I have heard the quality isn’t as high as a typical place (more plastic frames, but I think they hold up ok) but I think the styles are cute and they will send you sets of 5 to try on if you aren’t sure which ones will look good on you. I haven’t used it myself, so I can’t recommend but thats what comes to mind first for me. I think SO will be getting his next pair from there.

    • I’ve used Zenni Optical. Not for my regular glasses but for my computer glasses. They were great to work with.

    • Anonymous :

      I just googled this issue this week (gagging at $600 glasses, before lenses) and Lookmatic dot com does the same “try on” thing as Warby Parker, as does glasses dot com. Other dot coms are ClassicSpecs, Mezzmer, Eyefly, and Retro-Spectacles.

      Have not ordered from any of them yet — still just hating my new contacts (Aqua somethings).

    • PharmaGirl :

      I’ve tried on the Warby Parker glasses and really liked them. Being able to try 5 pairs and send them back for free was great. The issue I came across in ordering is that my optometrist is one of those meanies who does not provide the distance between the eyes on the prescription in an effort to curtail customers from buying glasses elsewhere. I’m super lazy about followup and hate confrontation so I’ve put off making the call for the information. If you plan to order outside of your eye doctor, make sure you have all of the information on your prescription!

    • S in Chicago :

      I had a fabulous experience with glassesetc.com. I tried on a pair of Prada frames that I loved at Lenscrafters on a Sunday and then ordered them online instead–the savings was substantial and it gave me a lot of control over the lenses. This year I was running out of FSA time and bought some Tiffany frames at Lenscrafters directly and not only were they hugely expensive, but I don’t think the lenses are nearly as high quality even though I paid for the best they could give (glare and smudge more easily). I don’t know if it is just an Illinois thing, but your eye doctor is required to send out your prescription if requested. Honestly, it was just a quick phone call for them to fax. I’ll be ordering glasses online from now on. What I really liked about glassesetc.com was that you can select three pair and have them sent to you so you can try on at home with minimal cost to return and restock (nothing if you are returning to have them filled with prescription lenses). I knew the exact frames I wanted, but I liked knowing that I also could shop easily if desired.

    • Thank you all for the advice. I’m going to do a lot of browsing tonight.

    • I’m a big fan of Zenni Optical–I’ve ordered more than a dozen pairs from them. I go more for fun/distinctive frames than classic high-quality so I can’t say how they compare to higher-end (though Luxxotica apparently manufactures virtually all frames of every brand). I am regularly complimented on my glasses. Did I mention all the ones I have were less than $20/pair? I don’t have a terribly complicated prescription, but they do always get it perfect. Exception: when I tried to order progressives; that did not work at all.

      Under federal law, your optometrist must give you your prescription. They generally do not write your Pupillary Distance (PD) on the form, but if you ask they must give it to you. In many offices, the glasses-selling staff measures the PD, not the optometrist. This is a dicier situation but I’ve never been refused.

      Zenni will send you a PD measuring device (looks like a flat pair of glasses with a ruler on it) so you can find your own. I have a friend who measured her own and was happy with her glasses, but I would prefer to have it done by someone with experience.

    • For those of you who have bought glasses online, how do you get your glasses fitted?? My optometrist has a sign saying they will no longer clean and fit glasses that were not purchased from them. And I always feel so much better when I have my glasses regularly adjusted.

  5. Question for those of you who are clients of BigLaw firms. I’m in a fairly niche practice group in BigLaw, and work is a little slow right now, so I’ve been tasked with writing client alerts on some agency regulations that have just been released. I’m a decent writer and fairly succinct, but other than that, are there things that you find particularly helpful (or alternatively, unhelpful or annoying) in these things? I’ve read a lot of samples that my group has sent out in the past, and they seem to be of varying styles and quality, so I’d love a client’s perspective!

    • Not a client but I do informal updates with one client in particular fairly often. Clients want something relevant, easy-to-digest, and useful.

      I’d focus the article on answering these questions:
      1. At a high level, what is the change? When will it take effect?
      2. How is the new law/regulation structured?
      3. How do our current procedures fit with this change?
      4. What are the benefits of this change? How can we capture these benefits?
      5. What are the risks of this change? How can we avoid or mitigate these risks?
      6. What are the unknowns? How can we mitigate the impact of the unknowns until they are resolved? If there are multiple approaches, what are the strengths and weaknesses of each?

    • Another S :

      Decent, succinct writing is key, so you’re off great start! One thing I always appreciate are direct links to the relevant portions regulations (or whatever has changed) so I don’t have to go hunting. I really, really appreciate it when the attorneys I work with forward me their firm’s client alerts to make sure I’ve seen it, and even more so if they’ve included a note about how specifically this impacts me and my company (obviously you need to be working fairly closely with the client to be able to add a note like this so it might not always be possible).

    • As a client, I always like to know the answer to “so what does this change actually mean in real life”

      It frustrates when I read something all about the change but doesn’t really flesh out the practical implications of the change. If you are sending it to several clients obviously you can’t get too specific but mainly highlight a few theoreticals or what it means for most of the industry, etc.

    • For myself, I like to have the thing structured as a series of FAQ or bullet points and to have the question ‘who is affected by this ?’ answered upfront. Plain english is great eg. ‘non-domiciled tax-paying entities are likely to be affected’ but references to the existing regulatory regime are helpful too eg. ‘parties currently required to be in compliance with regulations x.x, y.y, z.z … are likely to be affected’.

  6. Lovely. I’ve been sale stalking some St. John’s pieces at last call but can’t even accept the cost with the significant markdown!

  7. Oooohhhhhhhhhhhh

  8. This is the first year I was semi-organized in my shopping needs/wants/total splurges (inspired by this website) and just wanted to share my really positive experiences! I will NEVER again wait until I really truly need something to start looking for it. I kept lists on my phone of gaps in my wardrobe and things that I had but were likely to need to be replaced within the next year and just being a little bit organized saved me so much money. I never realized that the truly upscale designer brands (Chanel, Chloe, Burberry, etc) on sale can be cheaper than the mid level designers that I had been sticking to (Tory Burch, Stuart Weitzman, etc) and that some of my basics from Forever 21, Zara, and HM were so much less expensive and had held up better than some Splendid/James Perse things.

    I’m feeling totally justified in the amount of time I spent checking shopping websites and wandering through the mall!!

    • I love this! I am really trying to take a similar approach in the future. Last year I moved to a new climate and switched to a job with a very different dress code, so I ended up wasting money on things I needed quickly but weren’t the best fit for me (style, physical fit, etc.), so I ended up replacing them. I still have a long way to go to achieve the cohesive wardrobe I have in mind, but it’s great to hear that it worked so well for someone else!

    • Jessica Glitter :

      I love this idea! Would you share how you came up with your organized list?

  9. Botox Update :

    So I got my forehead done and so far its awesome! Its only been a couple days, but so far it isn’t “frozen” but just hard to move. As in, I can still raise my eyebrows (mostly), I just really have to want to, rather than subconsciously doing it all the time. It wasn’t really painful, but I did get a little light headed/nauseous at the end when she did about 10 little stabs in a row across my forehead. I guess I wasn’t expecting it to be so quick. No bruising or swelling today at all. I think I’m sold!

    • How much did it cost and where approximately do you live? I think I am getting myself this for my next birthday.

      • I get the same treatment as OP. I live in Texas and pay $300. I have to go about every 3-4 months. A friend who goes to the same doc and also does forehead only needs to go every 6 months.

      • I’m not the OP, but another Botox convert. I’m in California and my derm charges $13 per unit. He said the standard amount is 20 units per area (with the forehead being one area and the area between the eyebrows another), but I get both areas done and have 20 units total. (For reference, I am in my early 30s and get Botox more as a preventative measure.) The manufacturer (blanking on the name right now) has a loyalty club of sorts and I get $25 off per visit through this club.

    • Botox Update :

      I’m in the southwest. She said I have a “big” forehead and a strong muscle that makes the lines between my brows, so it was about $350 to do both. I’m trying to remember the number of units she used, and I can’t but I’m fairly sure it was less than 20. I also asked that we use a little less than normal and go up as needed, rather than risk looking like Kenny Rogers. She used Dysport, which is apparently some new version of Botox that is supposed to last a little longer. Every 6 months would be awesome!

  10. goldribbons :

    So, moms out there, what do you wish you had known / researched / thought about / done before you had babies? Also, if this applies, what did you learn too much about – causing you to become unnecessarily afraid?

    • I need to be MARRIED first. Then I will have a baby. But I do NOT even have a boyfreind, so everything is workeing against me. FOOEY!

    • LackingLuster :

      Most women have normal births and most women have no trouble breastfeeding. Keep this in mind so you don’t psyche yourself out reading the forums, which is where people go when there’s a problem, which makes it seem like everyone has a problem.

      • Along those lines, sometimes things are hard, sometimes things are painful, and many times you aren’t sure if you are doing it the right way. That doesn’t mean that they will be that way forever and it doesn’t mean that there is necessarily anything wrong.

        • Meg Murry :

          But at the same time – just because something is “natural” doesn’t mean it will come easily, or that you couldn’t use a little bit of help. Don’t be afraid to seek out help from a doctor, nurse, midwife, lactation consultant, your mother, or other ‘r e t t e s. On the flip side, if someone is giving you advice that doesn’t jive with you (or if your mother, MIL or random other mom on the playground is insisting you’re doing it all wrong), feel free to just say “thanks for the advice, I’ll think about that” and then go on with how you were doing it before.

    • After hearing all the horror stories about c-sections online, I was nervous about that. I ultimately ended up having one after 12 hours of back labor. At that point, you’re OVER IT (at least, I was). My c-section ended up being great and my recovery was a breeze. It’s not the case for all women, of course, but I’m not afraid at all of having my next one.

      While most women may have no trouble breastfeeding, it’s still hard. I ultimately loved it, but those first 2-3 weeks sucked.

      Have all the fun you can possibly imagine with your Sig-O before you get pregnant. Go out to bars after work, go to movies, go to dinners. That stuff comes to a complete stop.

      • PharmaGirl :

        Oh man, 24 hours of back labor here. It was AWFUL and I still have no idea what a ‘normal’ contraction feels like.

        I tend to overshare about the more unpleasant side effects of pregnancy and childbirth because they are very common and not widely discussed. For example, I could tell every time my blood volume increased because I would suddenly experience terrible nosebleeds at the most inconvenient times (on the train, in meetings). I also got awful hemmorhoids during pregnancy which became a serious issue after childbirth. Definitely don’t let that happen to you!

        I definitely overresearched when I experienced problems but it was helpful to know other people experienced the same things.

        • Oh! The nosebleeds. Currently pregnant now and those hit me at any time. And the heartburn is horrific. I have to take Zantac every morning and every night if I want to function because even water gives me heartburn.

      • JJ, you are great for admitting it sucked! i felt like I could never admit it wasn’t the awesome bonding experience people talk about. I’m still glad I did it (anything for them!) but absent the healthier/smarter/more portable benefits, I wouldn’t have done it.

      • Most women have no problems breastfeeding – after both mom & baby learn how. Breastfeeding is a skill that needs to be learned, and I don’t think that’s mentioned enough. And FTR, I breastfed each of my boys 8-9 months with very minimal pumping (if any) because I was working p/t from home at the time. The first 2-3 weeks sucked (excuse the pun) each time, until we both got into the swing of things.

        • I definitely agree with this. Once you get the routine down (and that’s the hard part), breastfeeding is so worth it. Luckily I had people prepare me for how hard that first part is. I know of several people who were informed by well-meaning “lactivists” that bf’ing is so so so so so easy and the new moms get discouraged (some enough to quit altogether) and think they’re doing something wrong when it’s not as easy as advertised.

    • I think one of the most important things to think about is what kind of parent your partner will be and also how the two of you will function together as co-parents. One of the biggest decisions you will ever make for your kids is choosing their father.

      • Anonymous :

        +1

        Also, generally ignore everyone and the new-baby websites. You don’t need glass bottles or 99% of the paraphernalia they try to sell you.

        PROM
        BRIDAL
        BABY

        Its the triumvirate of Pressuring Us Into Buying Crap.

        • agree, regarding choosingthe father of your children +1000. This is the man your daughter is going to look up to and the role model for your sons…

          and regarding PROM, BRIDAL, BABY – so true, so true! (amusing!)

        • +1 – dh & I had multiple m/c before a successful pg, so we spent a lot of time discussing parenting and how we want to do things. I think it was a great help to us.

          I also totally agree with the paraphernalia – we got by just fine without a swing (first one didn’t like the borrowed swing, and they take up SO MUCH ROOM that we didn’t bother trying with the other 2), a diaper wipe warmer, a fancy diaper bag (I liked my diaper bags as small as I could get away with – my fave was free from a formula company) and many, many other things as well. So not necessary. You need safe sleeping spot, safe transportation, stuff to keep them fed, stuff to keep them warm & comfortable. A couple of toys when they’re older. That’s it.

        • I work in medical malpractice defense and we have a lot of birth-related cases and given the topic, I initially read PROM as the medical abbreviation (premature rupture of membranes) instead of the party and was really confused for a second. I think I need a vacation (though I just got back from one).

          (I’ve decided the best thing you can do before having a baby is NOT work in med mal. Intellectually I realize that we really only see the worst cases and statistically the vast majority of births are complication free and fine, but it’s kind of terrifying).

          • Blonde Lawyer :

            and this is why I now fear the dentist.

          • I do med mal defense also, but it is mainly geriatric issues. However, my female MP is very opposed to working female attorneys having children. So, for the first year I was here she made sure that I did at least some work (research, report to client, motion, etc.) on all of the horrendous birth cases we had. She even gave me an assignment on a case where the mother had a c-section and died the week before my sister had her scheduled c-section (preeclampsia). I’m looking for a new job.

    • I wish I had read more books about child development and discipline before my kid was born, because I would benefit from being more knowledgable about these topics but I have no time to read anything now.

      Agree with JJ about having fun with SO. Also have fun with your friends. And enjoy relaxing, going to the movies, reading books, watching TV and doing nothing.

      • Is there a book you’d recommend? We’re thinking about starting TTC at the end of this year. As we both come from dysfunctional families, we’ll need instructions on how to do a better job ourselves.

        • No, because I didn’t read them while I was pregnant, and now I have no time! But if others have suggestions, I’d love to hear them in case I ever find time to read. Friends recommended the book “What’s Going on in There” to learn about brain development in babies and toddlers, but I didn’t attempt to read it until after the baby was born, and knocking out a 500 page book w/a newborn was not going to happen.

          • SpaceMountain :

            That’s a great book — Lise Eliot, “What’s Going on in There.” It has lots of information for during pregnancy, also, about your baby’s brain development, the studies about what foods/substances to avoid, etc., and the author treats you as an intelligent adult, as opposed to most parenting books.

        • I like good old Dr. Spock’s Baby & Child Care. It’s a very reasonable book that addresses a lot of different approaches, and discusses everything from the nuts and bolts of baby care to how to parent a teenager.

        • Anonymous :

          For starters, BABY 411 and TODDLER 411

        • Three I’ve liked:

          1.) Penelope Leach, Your Baby & Child from Birth to Age 5. This is a combination “what to expect” book and a “how to handle common problems” book. We referred to this book so much it actually fell apart, and it’s my go-to baby gift. I like that it’s not dogmatic — she comes at it from the perspective that there are lots of different types of families and lots of different personalities involved in the parent-child relationship, and that there are many ways to end up with a kid who’s thriving.

          2.) Laura Davis & Janis Keyser, Becoming the Parent You Want to Be. This book is a really good one for people with your specific concerns, anon. There’s a lot of discussion about recognizing your family’s patterns and consciously deciding what kind of family you want to raise. It’s also got chapters on lots of common behavioral and family issues — lying, tantrums, aggression, sleep issues, co-parenting, stress, etc. — and how families have handled those.

          3.) Haim Ginott, Between Parent and Child. A lot of books you’ll see recommended different places (Positive Discipline, the Adele Faber/Elaine Mazlish books) were written by people who trained under Ginott. This book isn’t so much a baby/toddler book as one that offers some principles for developing a respectful parent/child relationship and disciplining without threatening or belittling your child.

      • wine-loving mom of 3 :

        Re: having fun with Sig-O, I would say go to Napa, Napa Napa…it’s the only place your kids will never be old enought to take them to…and if you live on the East Coast, it’s a long way to go without them. So while we had been to Napa pre-kids, I wish we had done it more. With 3 ages 10/7/5 at 44, I’ll be 60 years old until we can go with all 3! (we do go away without them but seldom more than a 2-hr flight away…)

        • My parents definitely took me to Napa as a child! Some of the wineries gave us grape juice.

          • as an adult who loves wine tasting in napa/sonoma, please do leave your kids at home. my biggest pet peeve is kids running wild through wineries. it’s adult space.

          • My brother and I loved visiting wineries with our parents. They were always great places to run around. They might like it more than you think, just pick ones that aren’t just a tasting room and take a picnic for after.

        • My parents aren’t drinkers (nor am I) but as a child I was taken on lots of their vacations – my parents went wherever they wanted to go and I was along for the ride. That’s not to say we never did child-friendly activities on our trips, but the trip destination was what the adults wanted. If Napa had been a place they had any interest in, we certainly would have gone to Napa. There are very few places that you really can’t take children and Napa is not one of them. People who are upset about (well-behaved) kids in wineries need to get over themselves. Napa is a very easy day trip from SF, not some $2,000 a night resort in Bora Bora – of course there are going to be kids around. & I say this as someone who is not a huge baby/kid person (except for my someday-own) and visits Napa regularly.
          FWIW, my own pre-baby travel bucket list focuses on super romantic and/or expensive places I would love to go with my husband alone (see aforementioned Bora Bora, also Paris).

          • I totally disagree. It’s the outdoor version of taking a baby to a bar. There are some places you just shouldn’t bring kids and I put venues where you need go be 21 to participate in the activity they are designed for in that category.

    • What I wish I had known? That you can do all the research about everything there is, but parenting is still going to surprise you. As a keenly analytical person, I wish I had researched less and followed my instincts and my heart more. I was “unnecessarily afraid” of everything (all of it) – and wish I could have stopped obsessing and enjoyed the early years more.

      • This too. There are very few absolute right & absolute wrong things when it comes to parenting. Go with your instinct & do what feels right for you & your child, regardless of what other people say.

      • Stephanie :

        This is absolutely right. You cannot conceive of this kid until he or she is here, you just can’t, no matter how hard you try. The one thing you can do is try to slow down and experience it. My first was so hard– he had something called silent reflux, so he never napped, wouldn’t nurse, I had to pump milk, every second was baby rocking/feeding/shushing/bathing, it was baaaad. He’s nine now and he’ll never be a little baby again. When he was a toddler, I was pregnant and then had his sister, so I don’t remember most of it. Total blur. I wish I could go back to that time and un-clench. I was so worried about everything, mostly that it would be hard. And it was but then it was over, and now it’s all different. He’s super easy now– funniest kid, totally born an old soul. His sister is an absolute joy– like you took purity and happiness and stuffed it into a tiny person. So don’t stress so much about what they eat and when they sleep. Take a lot of pictures, don’t be afraid to go outside even if they cry. Give yourself a break.

    • Meg Murry :

      I was never really close with my mother before my son was born – she was always a little distant, and she was never a “best friend tell her everything” type of mom when I was growing up. But once my son was born, she was soooo supportive and so helpful, and now she is really one of my closest friends. I also live really close to her and my inlaws, and it has been really great having them as part of my kids everyday lives. You should definitely consider your local family / support structure when thinking about having kids – having a good “village” really helps for both logistics & sanity.

    • I full-on BAWLED when I read an account of what labor/delivery entailed. Twice. (As in, I read two different accounts and cried my eyes out both times.) Probably the pregnancy hormones, but it scared me. I just delivered my second kiddo 2-1/2 weeks ago and am here to say I survived, plus I cried WAY less during my labors/deliveries than I did in reading about them!

      I agree with what most of the other r e t t e s have posted — don’t worry too much about needing this or that baby item, and trust thy judgment. My second child has actually made me a MUCH more confident parent (both with him and with my first) because I now have the guts to trust myself.

    • Postpartum depression. I had it so bad and I suffered because I didn’t tell anyone.

  11. Here’s a sort of random question: is there a specific name for the type of necklace that alternates sections of chain and beads/pearls? (Here is an example: http://www.wayfair.com/Jewelryweb-Sterling-Silver-Freshwater-Cultured-Pearl-and-Genuine-Turquoise-Necklace-7.5-8mm12x9mm42-Inches-TLP181901SS-JRY7700.html)
    Thanks!

  12. I love this, but does anyone else think the shoes they paired it with are an odd choice? They’re cute, but not anything I would ever ever wear to an occasion/profession that required a suit.

  13. Mary Ann Singleton :

    I handwashed a silk top and now it’s wrinkly beyond belief. Can I iron it on cool? Should I put something between the iron and the silk fabric?

  14. anon for this :

    Slight vent – I am frustrated that it seems like it’s now the norm to take elaborate bachelorette party “trips.” I have three friends getting married this year (whoa, grown up already!) and all three are planning on doing “trips” for bachelorettes. I just got the agenda for one and it is a trip to NOLA (we are all in the northeast) Thurs-Sun, involves “present opening” (do I have to get presents for a bachelorette party? This group of friends is my first big group of weddings), several bars, a music show and an expected contribution to cover the bride’s share. Another one wants to have a party in Vegas (that’s still in the planning stages) and the other one wants to do a girls’ weekend in Cancun. I could easily see all these trips costing well over $1k apiece.

    Of course I love my friends, I’d love to celebrate with them and I am *sure* these things will be fun – but there are plenty of bars and fun things to do closer to all of us. I feel bad begging off the bachelorette party of someone I’m close to – but at the same time, I’m frustrated that I will be using virtually all my discretionary money and vacation time to not only attend weddings and buy gifts, but also to fund these really expensive bachelorette parties, at places I wouldn’t necessarily choose to vacation.

    It’s frustrating because if it were a party, say, in Manhattan, I would absolutely go, no questions asked, because that’s a one night deal and won’t cost me an arm and a leg, and I kind of wish bachelorette parties hadn’t become these big extraordinary “trip to exotic location” events. Or maybe it’s just my group of friends?

    • Anonymous :

      You can always decline, politely. If needed, explain the cost factor.

      FWIW, I think that these required vacations are ridiculous, esp. since its just the beginning …… wedding present, bridesmaid dress, destination wedding…. seriously people, I know its YOUR specil day, but its ONE day. Not several months.

      • Meg Murry :

        Yes, I would decline as well if I were you, unless girls weekend trips were already a thing with your groups of friends. I think it became more popular a few years back when you could get really cheap flights and hotels in Vegas – but now its spiraled out of control, IMO. I’d opt out of all out of town events besides the actual wedding, so you don’t get into a “but you went to her engagement party/shower/bachelor-tte party, why not mine?”

  15. We’ve probably talked about this before, but how do you guys wash your tights? I’ve been washing them by hand in the sink with detergent, but they don’t seem like they’re getting clean and the detergent doesn’t seem to get rinsed off all of the way. (Entirely possible that I’m just doing something wrong).

    • There are hosiery bags you can throw in the washer. They’re like mesh sweater bags, but separated into three or four individual compartments. I put mine in these and the housekeeper just throws them in the washer and dryer (on low) and they seem fine.

    • Laundry bag in the washing machine, on a gentle setting? Or am I missing something?

    • For tights: I throw them in the washing machine with the rest of my laundry, usually but not always on cold, and then hang to dry.

      For nylons: Ditto, except I wash them in a lingerie bag.

      • long time lurker :

        Ditto for me on the tights, but the rare times I wash nylons I just throw them in there, no bag. I have a small energy efficient front loader washer and things seem pretty easy to separate.

    • I wash mine in lingerie bags on the normal cold cycle with the rest of my dark clothes, hang dry. I’ve had no problems with endurance/longevity and wear tights washed this way after each wear that are several years old. I recently acquired a pair of Wolfords that I might wash in a lingerie bag on delicate cold because they’re nicer, but I have no plans to wash the regular tights differently.

    • Hm, interesting. I used one of those bags once and the tights came out with runs on them. But it seems like that’s the answer, so maybe I’ll try it again. I live in a high-rise with shared commercial washers and they’re not always the most gentle, so that’s why I was doing it by hand.

  16. Help, please. I’m looking for a specific bag. It’s a sort of textured nylon tote with leather straps. The straps are connected by a clip onto very large grommets. They are not as ubiquitous as Le Pliages, but it’s a similar kind of idea. I saw one last night in a beautiful hot pink, and I believe I’ve seen them in the past in red and orange. Any ideas?

  17. Sigh. I’ll know I’ve “arrived” when I can afford a St John’s suit, paired with a perfect double strand of south sea pearls. (Yes, I have old fashioned taste but I expect I’ll be une femme d’une certaine age by then and St John and pearls will be just the thing.)

  18. oil in houston :

    I apologize for the threadjack. I comment sometimes, ask questions rarely, but I feel I need some help and thought you guys might know…
    I had a work accident 18m ago, I’ve tried everything to feel better, and it’s now at a point where I am ‘fully functional’ but the pain is constantly there. So I think I have to face the music and get to surgery.
    2 questions:
    – has anyone had surgery using Versed? I hate taking drugs generally, and hate the loss of control that comes with things like Valium (which this is a stronger version of apparently)
    – this was a work incident, but abroad when I was employed by another division (of the same company). my employer has re-imbursed me for doctors visits so far, and PT, but now that we’re talking surgery, the amounts are bigger. HR told me verbally not to worry and that they would pay. But I have nothing in writing. Should I get something in writing before I book the surgery/ would a simple email saying they will find a way be enough?

    anyway, sorry to bother everyone, hopefully someone has some answers!
    thanks

    • If you’re in Texas, your company either has to provide its own workers’ compensation insurance or agree to the state insurance plan. Either way, talk to your HR before the surgery. You may need to formally file a claim with your company’s administrator for the insurance plan or with the state insurance plan to have your surgery covered. I wouldn’t rely on an email from HR for this.

    • Get it in WRITEING. Some could say that ifyou work for a reputeable company mabye you might not need a writing, BUT why chance it? I would get a letter from them directed both to you and TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN anyway’s, saying speacifeically that they will pay all billieng’s related to your work accident (let’s describe it as a slip and fall where you injured your back, with a contact person NAMED there that can be called for any follow up data.

      This way, you can have the docs and the hospital’s and the PTs bill your employer directly. What is wrong with that? In WC cases, if you have an injuury issue that is covered, you should NOT pay yourselve’s, but should have the bill sent to the Employer’s insurance company. That is b/c you are NOT a cash register. Let those guy’s pay for injrueing you! FOOEY if they tell you otherwise.

      My dad taught me that long before law school b/c he once fell on his tush outside an Arbeey’s or McDonald’s or something, and they did the same thing. My dad alway’s says: GET IT IN WRITEING, ELLEN” so I do. That is why MENSA wanted him, but he did NOT want them. He said FOOEY on any organisation that does not want MOM. I agree with him. Mom is also smart, but MENSA did NOT recruit her. She was smart enough to marry Dad and have me and Rosa, so she is the big winner there! Yay!

    • Anonymous :

      thanks all. will do

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Get thee to a lawyer! You may have a much larger workers comp claim. I didn’t know, let my employer pay my medical care and signed off on my claim without realizing what all I gave up. I changed fields in part b/c of my injury and I could have had at least some of my law school tuition covered. I also would have received 20k or so for permanency, even though the permanency is just certain exercises (push ups) that I have to avoid for life. Your HR has a duty to the employer, not you. Get even just a free consultation with a lawyer and figure out your rights.

  19. I bouhgt these (for much less but still a lot) and I really love them in the box. Link to follow.
    Sadly, they seem to disappear when worn. I have shoulder length dark hair and it kind of covers the earrings unless I tuck it or pin it up. Unfortunately, the with my current style, and shape of my head, pinned up or tucked hair does not look good on me (IMO).

    Any suggestions as to how I can wear it to bring out the beautiful color of the stone? A it currently stands, they just might have to go back as it is still a substantial amount of money.

  20. Has anyone successfully had their tailor add weights to the hem of a skirt or dress?

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