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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
This isn't my usual jam, for sure, but I really like it — the sharpish shoulders, the zipper details, and that gorgeous green/black tweed. It was originally $135.70, but is currently marked to $73.50 at Bluefly. Aryn K emerald and black wool-blend tweed zip jacket
Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.
(L-2)
P.S. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
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- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Niktaw
Very cool idea, but I’d prefer the zip-off hem to be longer.
Lovely color, too.
IrinaDerevko
I actually bought this jacket not long ago and had to return it to Bluefly. I guess I have a really long torso, but it was incredibly short on me and the shoulders have a ton of padding in them. Looks good on the model but the cut is just weird.
[insert clever name here]
This is exactly what I was thinking. There are certain features of this jacket that just wouldn’t work on my body type – including being too short, and too broad in the shoulders. But, I do like the concept… it’s interesting. And like Kat says – not my usual jam… at all. Also, not sure when I would ever zip off the hem!! But it’s quirkly… and I like that. (and elipses, apparently… )
polling
DC r3tt3s- would you be interested in a speed friending/dating event? Like speed dating except less formal, and with the goal of making friends and/or dating. It would be around $20 with drink/food specials. Would you pay for something like that?
Young Consultant
I would be very interested in this, particularly if it focused on making friends rather than dating. I’m very much in the market for female friends.
L in DC
Definitely would be in for something like this.
js
Hair TJ: Do you use product in your hair? Do you have any products you just can’t live without? I’m talking more of an every day, all-purpose type of hair product. I don’t generally use any products but I feel like I’m supposed to be using something. I’ve bought a ton over the years and have never, ever used up an entire tube or bottle of something because it either didn’t work or I changed my hairstyle. What should I look for in an every day type of product?
momentsofabsurdity
I use John Freida Frizz-Ease Finishing Creme basically every day. It really does handle frizz.
Gus
+1
Anonymous
+1
Gail the Goldfish
Same here.
Gail the Goldfish
I also use the It’s a 10 styling serum for the ends. It defrizzes them a bit.
Miss Behaved
I use this before I blowdry:
http://www.amazon.com/Orofluido-Hair-Elixir-3-4-oz/dp/B0038QLU66/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360853745&sr=8-1&keywords=orofluido+elixir
Anon8
I use some sort of volumizing product on my roots. Currently I’m trying a John Frieda mousse. Then I apply a small amount of Fredric Fekkai Glossing Cream and blow dry my hair. Then I use a heat protectant called Sebastiant Trilliant and use the flat iron. I have fine somewhat wavy hair. This combo works for me to help keep my hair straight and smooth throughout the day.
I think if you’re using a flat iron or curling iron then a heat protectant is a good idea. Otherwise other products may vary based on your type of hair – fine, thick, curly, etc.
anon
garnier spray gel for curls — but not spraying it, just opening it up and applying a big ol’ dollop on wet hair every morning.
SAlit-a-gator
Yep, I swear by this as well and recently recommended it to my mom. She loves it too!
Snarkster
I also have curly hair and use it! I use their sleek and shine cream when I wear it straight
JessC
I use a couple of squirts of the Tresemme anti-friz serum on my hair (focusing mostly on the length/ends) while it’s wet and blow dry. Then a little hair spray (also Tresemme) on the roots for volume and brush through.
EC MD
I use kerastase hair oil. It’s pretty expensive, but I live in a very dry area and my hair is very dry as well. I put a small amount in when my hair is damp and it dries shinier and softer than without. It’s also clear (a lot of the oils are darker) which is nice for lighter hair.
phillygirlruns
i try new stuff periodically but i always come back to a combination of pantene root lifter/volumizer spray gel on my roots and frederick fekkai glossing creme throughout when went, then blowdry. if i’m not straightening it i still use the spray gel on my roots and a drugstore mousse throughout – i haven’t found a favorite mousse yet, they all seem to be about the same.
Diana Barry
TJ to the TJ – can anyone recommend a dry shampoo? I have to have all of my hair back the second day (wash on day 1, then on day 2) and despite all the dry shampoo (currently Bumble and bumble hair powder) it STILL feels and looks dirty. Should I just give up and go back to washing every day? Is this a winter thing? Rrgh.
Anon8
Dry shampoo sorta works for me and I use it in a pinch, but I’m not one of those people that can go a couple of days between washing my hair. I’ve only tried Sauve Dry Shampoo so far and it worked reasonably well for me – again, it might work better for people who don’t have as oily hair. I think the blog 15 Min Beauty did some reviews of dry shampoo a while back.
mascot
TresSemme makes one that works ok. I just got a Tigi sample from BirchBox but haven’t tried it. My hair is fine, thick and slightly oily. It’s too short to wear back on the second day so I just put up with washing it everyday. I only use the dry shampoos for weekends when I don’t want to shower before errands.
hoola hoopa
I *hated* the Tigi dry shampoo. Agree that TreSemme is okay.
I plan to try Pssst next (although I can’t find it in store?), but I actually really love Suave. It doesn’t just take care of the oil – it makes my hair look amazing, like I got a blow out.
MB
I like Psssst Dry Shampoo. Smells nice, works well and is fairly inexpensive.
Threadjack to responding to a threadjack to a threadjack:
I have thick, full hair but in the winter, it gets flat on top. What kind of product would help this? I try to lift the roots when I dry and minimize hat time, but it’s still flat, flat, flat. Also, does it not matter if I am wearing a hat? Will that flatten anything?
Diana Barry
Mousse? I never blow-dry my hair but when the stylist does, she puts mousse in it and that makes it volumized. Hats will definitely kill volume, though. If you kind of pile your hair on top of your head and put on the hat upside down, it helps a little.
L
I swear by Psst. It’s cheap and doesn’t make my hair feel dirty by applying it. I have used it two days in a row (updos) and had success building volume/hold etc. Also, I have dark hair and it brushes out nicely. It’s also the only beauty rec that’s ever worked out from CapHillStyle.
In a pinch, baby powder works really well for me.
Diana Barry
Tx. Will try Psst next time I go to the store.
Squirrely
I have fine hair, but lots of it that I’ve “trained” and I only wash it every fourth day. For volumizing on day 1, I use Aquage uplifting foam, which is brilliant, and lets me wear my hair down for two days. On the third day, I sprinkle in some plain old cornstartch, let it absorb a bit, then rub in Beyond the Zone Rock On Volumizing Powder (available at Sally’s), and am able to get some volume while I put my hair up. Does it “feel” dirty? Maybe, but I’m really not touching it a bunch, and sure, it looks more matte than just washed hair, but it works for me. YMMV, because I don’t get that unwashed hair smell that other people do.
Leigh
I’ve been using Suave Dry Shampoo with Keratin (gold bottle), Psstt dry shampoo and Loreal dry shampoo (new at my Target). My opinion is that I prefer the Suave for what it does for my hair. It doesn’t smell great, but it doesn’t turn my hair white, volumizes, and gets rid of the oil. I used to be a wash every day kind of girl, and now I’m able to wash one day, dry shampoo the next and then wash. Second place is the Pssstt, but it can turn my hair white sometimes. Loreal is a complete bust for me.
phillygirlruns
another vote for suave – the original one in the silver can smells fantastic (lemony!), but the keratin (gold can) is all i can seem to find lately. i’ve used a lot of dry shampoos and oscar blandi’s spray has been the best, but it’s $25-30 and suave is $3 and ALMOST as good, so it wins as far as i’m concerned.
SJ
I’ve used Klorane dry shampoo and like it a lot. It’s white but it brushes through pretty easily. It’s the only one I’ve tried though.
Non Twit
I think that Klorane is the best, and so does Karl Lagerfeld. There are two versions — a pure powder and a spray verson. I use the powder now. The trick, for me, is to apply the powder close to my roots at night before I go to bed, then sleep with my hair up. The powder works to absorb oil through the night. In the morning I brush through my hair and spritz my roots with hairspray. Also, dry shampoo sprays don’t travel well on planes, so the powder version is nice for travel.
Parfait
+1 on Klorane. It’s spendy but the pure powder one lasts forEVER. I’ve tried the cheaper ones that come in spray cans and I only get like 3 uses out of them. FOOEY.
V
I have fine hair and oily skin and I have tried everything. I have brown hair, too, which does not help.
B&B spray powder was messy and the non-spray powder still got everywhere and both were visible on my white skin (so in my part, on my ears, ugh).
The others that weren’t brown had the other sort of contrast issues and none of them worked well. Some were stinky. My hair would be either gritty or flat-out nasty.
I think it would help if I were a less oily person and maybe if my hair were lighter (or if there were less hair/skin contrast). I went back to washing. The only thing that seems to extend my hair a day is using a lot of alcohol-based products on day 1 (so mousse and I love Ellenet hairspray) and then on day 2 the oil is not so much a factor (so good for Friday or Saturday party hair and then Saturday or Sunday is the off day).
L in DC
Try Kevin Murphy Powder Puff. It’s this dry shampoo textured powder that’s actually tiny tiny silicone beads. You sprinkle it into your roots and then sort of rub the powder into your and then run your hair through your hair. I have short, fine, thin hair and this seriously works like magic.
anon
I bought a $24 bottle of dry shampoo at Sephora to try since my husband hates the smell of the Suave and Aveeno ones. The Sephora one gave me hives all over my scalp, ears, and the back of my neck which got a little of the spray. I have never been allergic to anything before. I think that’s the end of my attempts at dry shampoo.
J
I love the Suave dry shampoo. It’s $3.49 and does the trick very very well. Also, it gives INCREDIBLE volume. Like sometimes I feel like I should go audition for a B-52s cover band instead of going to work volume.
CKB
I use a pea sized bit of Suave Naturals conditioner (the really cheap stuff) mixed with about the same amount of Garnier styling creme that comes in a tube on my curly hair. The Garnier stuff is too heavy on it’s own, and especially in the winter I need the extra moisture from the conditioner, so it works well for me. Curls that aren’t crunchy (and both products are dimethcone and glycerine free).
Eleanor
If you’re happy with your hair the way it is, why use a product just because you feel like you should be using something?
KS IT Chick
JessiCurl. I mix the Rockin Ringlets & Confident Coils together. I also use their Hair Cleansing Creme and Too Shea Conditioner. I haven’t found anything else that doesn’t leave my hair feeling like it is has been coated in plastic.
layered bob
also a JessiCurl fanatic. Occasionally I mix it up with the Gentle Lather Shampoo and Deep Conditioning treatment. My stylist can never believe how healthy my hair fees without any product – I think it’s because I stay away from the sulfates and silicones.
Anon
I’ve never heard of this, but I just ordered some samples… sounds awesome :)
L
John Frieda Shine Serum if my hair is really tangly. Some days I’ll use Tressume’s heat spray and then blow it out and finish with shine serum. I also like big s*xy hair’s mousse for curly days or updos. I’m ordering a new volumizing foam for blowouts because my hair seems really flat.
If I may TJ your TJ, does anyone have a good salt spray they like that isn’t too drying? I have curly wavy hair that is prone to frizzies
Merabella
I switch between using Moroccan Oil and a leave in conditioner after every shampoo. I have found this to do amazing things for my long, straight, fine/but lots of it hair. I’ve noticed I can go longer between shampoos and I have less fly aways.
roses
I miss using Moroccan Oil – it did amazing things for my hair! Unfortunately, I found out the hard way that my SO was allergic to it. If you or anyone who touches your hair is allergic to tree nuts, beware!
Ao
+1 on the Fredric Fekkai Glossing Cream. I have also used the Moroccan Oil serum, and love it as well.
J
Aveda Smoothing Serum, KMS spray dry wax, Suave dry shampoo, Twinlab Na-PCA as a detangler, and Aveda Be Curly are my absolute must-haves. I use Na-PCA every day, but the other ones depend on whether it’s a curly hair day or straight hair day.
Lalo
12 Benefits. I got a sample from my hairstylist for the holidays and it is totally awesome.
NOLA
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! I had my V-Day celebration yesterday so today is just running from one meeting to another, then gym, then probably baking cookies late tonight.
And to all of the single ladies – you are beautiful, wonderful, strong women and your worth is not defined by whether or not you have a Valentine.
BMBG
+1 on your last sentence. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Anon
+1 on your last sentence, and this goes for “coupled” ladies too.
momentsofabsurdity
Love that last sentence! Your V-day sounds similar to mine – pick up laundry, home, cleaning, gym, sushi, wine, cookie baking/cookie dough eating.
Miss Behaved
I’m on a strict diet this week so my evening celebration of this stupid Hallmark holiday will included prosecco and broiled grapefruit with brown sugar for dessert.
phillygirlruns
broiled grapefruit with brown sugar actually sounds awesome.
momentsofabsurdity
Ha! My friend who is on a strict diet is picking up some Arctic Zero for the evening – in case your grapefruit is not satisfying enough.
just Karen
I just looked up Arctic Zero because I had never heard of it – now I am really curious – is it any good at all? Has anyone tried it? I’m back on weight watchers, so I am seriously intrigued…
Veronica
I actually saw on some morning show (GMA/Today) that Arctic Zero kind of fudges their numbers a bit or something. I foget the specifics, but they took a bunch of low cal/fat ice creams to some nutrition lab and actually tested them and several of them had more calories than they claimed.
Veronica
Here’s the link about it.
http://www.today.com/id/48596412/site/todayshow/ns/today-today_rossen_reports/t/rossen-reports-can-you-believe-diet-frozen-dessert-labels/
anon
Because I’m lactose intolerant, a friend brought ArticZero as dessert to a dinner party I threw recently. I am not super picky when it comes not dairy-free ice cream – it is never going to taste as good as the real thing. I actually like some of the soy and almond milk ice creams that dairy eaters might not be too impressed with. That said, the ArticZero was absolutely god awful. Two bites and it went straight into the trash.
MB
I would much prefer a bowl of berries or pineapple or some other delicious fruit to a bowl of fake ice cream. Whatever they put in the fake stuff really messes with my stomach.
I’m a big believer in real foods whenever I can and limiting portions on not so healthy foods rather than outright banning them from my life. Or healthier substitutions, but only if its real food i.e. (actual) whole wheat pasta for white pasta.
Cb
um, alcohol + fruit, this IS my diet!
JessC
I baked cupcakes for my staff last night (NGDGTCO, be d*mned). Tonight I’m thinking cooking myself a nice steak dinner (and putting out a can of tuna for my kitty) and then binging on something chocolatey. Possible while watching Downton Abbey. :)
momentsofabsurdity
I hate that part of advice of NGDGTCO. If I ate everything I baked (instead of bringing leftovers into work), I’d weigh 700lb, which would be way more problematic for my career than being seen as a “nice girl.”
Darby
+1000000000000000000
Cb
agreed! I gave up all sweets for Lent and my co-workers want to know, ‘why do we have to suffer too???’
ITDS
Here’s a way around that, especially if your office is larger: bring in your baked goods and put them anonymously in the kitchen or break room with a stick note saying “Enjoy!” That way you get those extra cookies out of your house, your co-workers can enjoy a treat, and you can avoid the “stigma” of being a nice girl/provider.
Praxidike
Totally agree. I went to pastry school before I went to law school. I bake really good stuff. My co-workers love it, as do my bosses. And I have been promoted three times while here and now run my department. I am having a hard time agreeing with the sentiment that baking automatically renders me ineffective in the eyes of The Powers That Be.
Dessert Doctor
Could not agree more! I love baking and find it extremely relaxing, and would much rather share the love with my colleagues than bake less often or waste what I bake. I think there are many worse ways for my colleagues to think of me than “nice woman who bakes yummy treats,” and I don’t believe that sentiment is incompatible with “talented worker” or “achiever.”
Ellen
Yay! I agree! Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone in the HIVE! We are all exeptional women! With or without MEN!
Even tho I do NOT have a boyfreind this year, I am still the SAME person I alway’s was and I do not need a guy to VALIDATE me! Yay!
Frank came in with some cupcakes from Crumbs and gave them out to all at the office to CELABRATE Valentine’s day! Thank’s Frank. He did NOT even demand a kiss (like he did last year). BUT I think it’ is b/c so many peeople are sneezeing. He would not want to bring home a sickness. FOOEY!
I told Frank about Gonzalo and he is a little concerned for me b/c he heard about him making those dissgusteing clickeing noises at our holiday party. He said that was the way men attract women in certain countries. FOOEY! I said, that is how my dad used to call my dog when I was 7 year’s old. He agreed, but said that it must work otherewise there would NOT be women haveing children in those countries. I still say Fooey!
The judge yesterday commended me on a novel arguement I made which he AGREED with and dismissed the case! Baseically, I said that if a plainetiff did NOT co-operate in discovery, it is AKINN to non prosecutetion, and if the plainetiff is not prosecuteting his case, it should be dismissed. I did NOT even have any cases, so the judge said he would write an opinion, which will, he said be “cutting edge” but without DICTA. YAY! I will have my name in the NY REPORTS as counsel of record! I told Roberta, and she said that she want’s to be added as co-counsel in my breif so that she will also be listed. YAY!!!!!!!!
The manageing partner was very impresed, and he said I should go buy myself a NEW PAIR OF SHOES, which He will pay 100% for, but onley up to $100. I am goieing to Macy’s today to see if I can get a $250 pair on SALE for $100. YAY!!!!!
Elle
That’s a lovely sentiment… but do people really genuinely feel bad about not getting a valentine? I really appreciate all of the “single people are special too” type messages that I’m getting from my friends and acquaintances but it just seems strange that people take valentine’s day so seriously. Seems a bit childish.
anon
I think it’s less “people feel sad about not getting a valentine” and more it’s frustrating when you don’t have something that society seems to see as very basic (a partner who loves you) and you feel like something is defective about you, for not having it, and then all of a sudden it just seems in your face EVERYWHERE.
That said, even as a bitter singleton, I liked this post from adulting today:
http://adultingblog.com/post/43052181863
phillygirlruns
how have i never seen this blog before? amazing.
NOLA
Oh and one more thing – these shoes (in the pink patent) would be an excellent Valentine present! http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/joan-david-shoes-gila-kitten-heel-pumps?ID=679046&PseudoCat=se-xx-xx-xx.esn_results
HSAL
I’ve been stalking those on 6pm. I want them terribly, and I’m not even much of a “pink” girl.
DCM
Tj – For those of you on The Pill, what time of day do you take it? I’ve been off it since college and want to go back on for various reasons. I can’t decide whether to take it morning or night… Thoughts?
TO Lawyer
I take it at night (approx 11pm) but that’s because my mornings are awful and I tend to sleep in on the weekends. I generally know that regardless of what day it is, I can take the pill at or close to 11 so I don’t end up missing it.
I would look at when your routine is the most stable and take it then.
Marilla
Yep, same here.
Lyssa
Ditto. I leave the pack sitting out on the dresser and take it as I walk by on my way to bed – easiest to remember that way, since it’s part of my brushing teeth/washing face/dressing process. I’m not too particular about taking it at the same time (I probably should be, but it’s worked so far), and I don’t usually worry if I take it particularly early or late sometimes, but I’m pretty sure that 90 percent of the time, it’s about the same time of night.
[insert clever name here]
I took the pill for a long time and always took it in the morning. I liked that I had the whole day to remember and take it late, just in case I forgot at my usual time. Later in life when cell phones were common, I set a recurring (quiet) alarm or set an outlook appointment to pop up at the appointed time. I also kept them in my purse (or messenger bag or wallet depending on what phase of my life I was in) that I always have on me, which gave me greater flexibility on those days where my schedule veers far from normal.
Anastasia
Same here. I just left the pack in the same bathroom drawer where I kept my hairbrush and face lotions, so I would see it when I was getting ready for work in the morning. Since I always get ready about about the same time, it was good enough. And if I forgot, I would probably see it when I was getting ready for bed.
BMBG
Morning, about 30 minutes after I’m supposed to wake up. I set one alarm to get up, and then a second alarm 30 minutes later to take the pill (which is louder and more obnoxious, ringtone-wise, from the first) is a good reminder that I *must* get up to get out the door and take my pill at the same time. That said, I’m not accustomed to sleeping in on the weekends, so I don’t feel like it’s a huge intrusion.
Same as the others, I keep them in my wallet, just in case I forget. As an added bonus, forcing me to get out of bed to get my wallet wakes me up.
Calibrachoa
9 PM for me; i know it’s a time of the day I know I will beawake for no matter what. I keep a reminder on my phone for it, and they live in my wallet because that’s something I wont leave the house without no matter what :D
rosie
This is when I take it, too. I live on the east coast, so if I travel west, I can stay on the same schedule without having to alter my sleeping. I leave them at home unless I know or think there is a chance I might be out.
De
7pm. I get a textmessage from bedsider dot org with a joke, fun fact, or just a friendly reminder.
Anon
What works for me is 5pm – I’m pretty much guaranteed to be at work at this time 5/7 days, with a high likelihood of being at my desk since it’s close to the end of my day. In fact, I store it in my desk drawer since I like to switch bags, etc and on weekends, I just take it with me. I can’t do mornings/nights because of variable schedule/not wanting to have to plan my fun evenings around it. I also set a discreet phone alarm for everyday at 4:55.
Meg Murry
I used to keep it in my purse, and would take it at the time I’m supposed to “officially” be at work. I usually get in 15 minutes earlier than that, so the alarm reminded me both to take the pill and to switch from check email/get settled in mode to full out work mode. It also meant it was a reasonable hour on the weekends as well.
In college I also had luck with setting them next to my alarm clock and glasses, so they were the first thing I saw when I woke up and I took them then – but that doesn’t work for me now that I have kids since the pill packs aren’t really childproof.
Blonde Lawyer
Oil in Houston – I just saw your post from yesterday and left you a comment. I want to make sure you see it.
For the poster that was looking for good break up songs (the girl power type not the sad type) I’d recommend “You Ought to Know” by Alanis Morrissette. Doubles as a great karaoke song.
I don’t celebrate V-day but this is my good friend’s first v-day divorced. I’d like to acknowledge that I’m thinking of her somehow without coming across as a smug married. Any ideas for a witty text? If I had planned ahead I would have tried to do dinner but like I said, V-day is usually not on my radar.
cbackson
As a divorced person whose divorce actually became final right around Valentine’s Day (2 years ago), I’d say it’s probably best to leave it alone. While the sentiment is totally sweet and well-meant, honestly, it would have made me feel worse if someone pointed it out.
I actually took a vacation to a foreign country so that I could sort of ignore the here-are-your-final-papers/yay, it’s VALENTINE’S DAY! double-whammy that year.
Laura B
Random questions – Georgia font in emails – annoying?
I use Georgia standard for just about everything because I like it and don’t think it’s that out there (it’s not comic sans!). But then someone replied to an email with a teasing jab at my font choice, and it made me curious. Thoughts?
momentsofabsurdity
If I could use Adobe Garamond Pro for everything, I would but it is not supported by all machines. So I think Georgia is fine though I think some people see anything other than the “default” as a bit silly.
mascot
Personally, I think it looks pretty similar to Times New Roman. I don’t pay much attention to font in emails unless you start using sparkly colors or wingdings.
Herbie
Or Comic Sans.
momentsofabsurdity
It’s never the wrong time to post this link.
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole
TBK
I love that. I especially love the rant against Helvetica. So true.
Diana Barry
Like daffodils in motherf***ing spring!!! LOL.
Gus
OMG, that’s brilliant.
Cb
I’ve read this a dozen times and still love it
a.
Ooh girl, I already had “I’m Comic Sans B***” in my search bar to find the link, when I saw you’d already posted it. Love it so much.
Nonny
How have I never seen this before? I love this and want to send it to everyone I know. Unfortunately not all of them are font nerds so might just think I’m strange. Oh well.
Maggie
“I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.”
This is awesome.
hoola hoopa
I love this so much.
I’m really loving everything in this thread, actually.
JJ
Or sign off with “Love and Fabuliciousness”
Diana Barry
Heh! Who was that guest commenter?
Herbie
Rebecca Hulse. Whose website is now blocked at my office… NOOOO.
Herbie
Fascinating. I tried to post the name of the guest commenter, and my post is now awaiting moderation.
De
Or smiley faces.
Houston Attny
Or quotes. Like “dance like no one’s watching.” Really? You do this at the office before you send the e-mail about the pending litigation matter?
Ao
The best is when the author quotes him- or herself ON the signature. For example: “We work for it.” – (email author)
mamabear
One of the admins here years ago sent an email to everyone in the department in all caps screaming at everyone to keep the break room clean, wash their own mugs, wipe up spills and your mother doesn’t work here.
And signed it with her standard auto-sig
keep smilin’
we are all god’s children
have a great day
we still pass that email around from time to time when we need laugh. There are some coworkers I can crack up by just saying “keep smilin’ “
anon
One of my most dyslexic finance-clients has a quote in his email footer:
“In my pursuit for perfection I hope to catch excellence.”
I laugh every time. He’s not even close to mediocre, let alone anywhere near perfection.
Anonymous
@anon 2:43 pm
I would so pay money to see that person’s Match.com ad. I’m betting it’d have the same proportion of cluelessness and arrogance.
Z.
One of my partners insists on using comic sans – in a weird color – for everything. Client emails, presentations to clients, passive-agressive anonymous notes in the kitchen (which aren’t very anonymous when you use your horrible font), submissions to the EEOC, everything. It’s. So. Bad.
SpaceMountain
Hey, I’m reading “Just My Type: A Book About Fonts” right now. The chapter on the designer of Gill Sans . . . oh my! Not sure I’ll ever use that font again.
CountC
I love this book!
Shanghai
I do notice when someone’s email is set to a different default font…but unless it’s something really greeting-card-like such as Papyrus or Comic Sans (seen both before!), it doesn’t bother me. Bright colors annoy me more than unusual font choice.
Since I moved back to the U.S., I have been amazed at some of the “professional” email signatures I’ve seen. I’m talking rainbow-colored lines of text…Comic Sans…purple text…GIFS and large clip-art at the end of every email…Bible quotes and “witty” sayings that border NSFW…very odd.
Cb
Ewww!
mamabear
Least favorite thing ever: when someone’s default email has a background color and then every reply also has the same flipping background color. Hate that. As far as I’m concerned, every corporate IT department should globally disable this option.
I’m looking at you, lady who sends the f&*ing hot pink emails.
And I’m sorry to say it, but it’s always a lady. Don’t do this.
Ao
+100
Blonde Lawyer
Or the “wallpaper” to the email with funky designs. My spam filter throws those out so I have a genuine excuse to ask people to change them.
JessC
I seriously, seriously hate those background color/wallpaper.
Giraffe with curls
+10000
NOLA
Yeah, there’s a faculty member here who uses a kind of stone background and it just looks weird on my screen.
Parfait
Whenever I have to respond so someone who uses one of those (generally a customer), I switch to plain text mode.
mascot
TJ: Have we talked about the Lehigh grade lawsuit? I don’t remember seeing the discussion. At first glance, it seems like she could have re-taken the class.
momentsofabsurdity
The whole thing seems really strange to me. Especially because her dad is a professor at Lehigh.
anon
The judge even commented he didn’t understand why they hadn’t just settled by allowing her to retake the class, but it sounded to me like she refused to do so, and wanted her grade changed. But, I don’t know, that is just the impression I got from the articles I read.
Paging Elz!
Hi Elz,
Hope you see this! I posted a couple weeks ago about looking for a honeymoon spot. You said you were going to the Capella resort in Cabo last week. We are now seriously considering it. Would you recommend? We’d be going for 7-10 days – I love beach and pool and spa relaxing, he loves surfing and other fun activities. We both love guacamole. :)
Thanks for your thoughts!
elz
Yes! DEFINITELY recommend. I could go on and on. First, Cabo was very safe. We saw Mexican Federal agents checking all cars in and out. Capella is also über secure. I was a little anxious about that-absolutely no need for me to be worried. The resort is spectacular. The breakfast is divine (get it included like we did), we never even ate lunch! The water was freezing when we went, but the surfing looked great just South of us. We went deep sea fishing and had a great time. Food in town was fantastic. Staff at Capella were fantastic…it is NOT cheap but worth it. Feel free to email me if you need specific questions answered. The additionsl days there (we only stayed 4) would give you time to do some cool exploring. We loved it!
Lalo
I’m going to Cabo tomorrow for the 2nd time in like 3.5 months. I’m not staying at the Capella, but the area is safe and fabulous. (Seriously, SoCal ladies, round trip tickets are going for less than $250, even for a holiday weekend.)
Motivator?
Getting in early for some advice: does anyone have tips on how to help a SO who has trouble getting motivated?
Like many of you, I am very Type A and push myself hard; my beloved SO has a more relaxed approach to the world. Normally I like that we complement one another in this way, but SO has been expressing some really laudable (and yes, worthwhile) goals for the year–eating healthier, finding a better job, being more active, etc.–without actually putting nose to grindstone. I know SO wants my help and support, but I’m not sure how to help without coming across as nagging. I’m worried that this imbalance may be something that stays hard for us. Any suggestions?
Merabella
Sometimes you just have to let them fail – either because those aren’t really goals that are a top priority for them or they just don’t have the motivation to do it. You can’t really make someone motivated if they don’t want to do it themselves.
You could set a good example by doing these things yourself/inviting SO, like if you go to the gym invite SO along, or ask about new healthy recipes to make together.
anon
We are similar to you and your SO, except I am the more relaxed one. For me, motivation has to be my own. I don’t respond well to someone telling me they want to help me eat better, work out, etc. Unless I specifically ask for help, I don’t want help. I am really sensitive to that.
Also, I think framing things differently is key for me. For example…
BAD: Hey honey, you wanted to get healthier and exercise. Why don’t we go for a walk?
GOOD: Hey honey, it’s beautiful out. Why don’t we go for a walk?
BAD: Hey honey, you wanted to eat healthier. I made you fish and vegetables for dinner.
GOOD: Hey honey, I went to the store and they had some great looking fish and a lot of fresh produce. I am going to make it for dinner.
Then perhaps after a week or a month you could point out to him that he’s taken 2 walks a week, or worked out 10 times, or eaten 15 healthy dinners, or whatever – without nagging.
Again, these are example of things that work for ME. The bad examples I mentioned induce guilt that i am not even trying to reach my stated goal, while the good examples get the same outcome but without the guilt factor. YMMV of course, but this is my take.
mascot
This is a thoughtful way to handle this. I also do better when thinking about exercise as stress-relief or me/us time instead of burning x calories in order to fit into y size. Having a SO recognize this helps.
anon
I too am the ‘relaxed’ one, and I totally agree with the good/bad thing here.
I think part of it is the ‘unspoken implication’ inherent in each phrasing. The “bad” versions all imply that there is something about me that is dissatisfying to YOU, and I should fix it. The “good” versions on the other had, simply imply that something nice is happening and you want to share it with me.
rosie
It’s weird. I am the less relaxed one in my relationship, but I think my SO and I have the reverse “good” and “bad” perceptions. He does not perceive the “bad” phrasing as nagging (or if he does, it is not the kind that bothers him). Whereas I don’t like if he says something like, “I took the dog out already so you can go to the gym tonight” (my preferred would be “I took the dog out already so you can relax tonight,” where my relaxing could be playing with the dog, watching TV, going to the gym, or whatever I wanted, which is what he means even though he specifies gym because I said at some point, generally, that I could go to the gym more).
Midwest
I think you need to ask him for some guidance on how he specifically needs your help/support. Does he simply need a cheerleader? A resume proofreader? A walking buddy? While it’s great to offer your support in specific ways, remember that it isn’t your job to prod him to make progress. That type of motivation needs to come from within.
CKB
This is what works in our marriage. I ask him what I can do to help him, and he appreciates it and gives me concrete examples. I also express my concern about him, and about the effect it is having on our family in a non confrontational way. For example “Honey, I know the dr said your cholesterol is high and I love you and want to be around for me and the kids for many, many years. Have you thought about what you are going to do about it? What can I do to help?”
Motivator?
CKB and Midwest, I like that approach. I’ve been trying it a bit–the problem that I seem to run into so far is just that sometimes SO is in action mode and wants to tell me about his progress or tell me how I can help, but more often SO is in unmotivated mode–so in other words, I need to find a way to motivate him into having the conversation about how I can really help motivate him to do all the things he wants to do!
He knows that this is an issue and has admitted that he’ll always be more receptive to support when he’s in a good mood, but my go-go-go brain just doesn’t compute that there are times when he is in a funk about the job he doesn’t like or the weight he wants to lose and doesn’t want to make plans or take action on either front. Sigh.
And yes, I’ve wondered about low-level depression. I don’t think that’s the case here. And in any event, I have encouraged him to resume seeing a therapist whom he used to find helpful and constructive, but guess what? If someone is unmotivated, there’s a bit of a follow-through problem, too, and I don’t think I want to set a precedent of making appointments for him.
Sigh. I love him, I do, and we’re so compatible in so many ways–but I can’t deny that this worries me.
Anne Shirley
This made me laugh. You just can’t resist the desire to motivate someone who doesn’t want you to do so, and he’s the one who needs therapy?!? It’s okay to not be type A.
anon
I think anne shirley’s phrasing is a little rough, but the point is valid.
You said these are his goals for “this year”. Well, we are only 6 weeks into this year and you’re already riding him about a lack of drive and motivation? I don’t mean to say that he doesn’t have a different style than you, or that maybe if it were you, you’d do it differently, but I think to imply he’s just already failed at all his goals for the YEAR, in the beginning of February, implies that you might be a little controlling.
If JUNE rolls around and he has done nothing, then you might have a valid concern. But honestly…I think you’re being a little rough on him at this point. Give him a chance to change his life HIS WAY before you label him as unmotivated and essentially a failure for not doing it yours.
Anne Shirley
Oh, ouch, anon I agree my phrasing was rough! I meant to convey mild amusement at the situation, and it obviously reads much harsher than that. Sorry motivator!!
Motivator?
Hi Anne Shirley and anon,
I’m sorry, I should have specified–SO *has* specifically asked me for help being motivated, and he has also frequently mentioned that my motivation and drive are things he’d like to learn and absorb for himself. No one is talking about failure, just about how to translate between different motivation styles–especially when (as for many of us on this site) one half of a couple is a self-identified overachiever.
Anon
@ Motivator
I used to be OK with dating guys with low energy levels, who were very slow to execute on grandiose plans. They were fun in college, but I wasn’t looking for anything that serious.
Life is long and hard. In seeking a marriage partner, I wanted someone who would make my life better and more enjoyable, not more difficult. And I realized that part of having things be “more enjoyable and less difficult” is to marry someone who wants the same things as you and has the same value system.
There are lots of tough, unpleasant tasks associated with life, home-ownership, raising children, taking care of elderly parents and relatives and they take some amount of motivation even for type As like me. The idea that I’d be facing these things alone because I had a husband who couldn’t work up the sufficient energy or motivation to get.stuff.done.already would make me seriously resentful and angry. I’d feel like the codependent angry martyr-mother doing everything, but enabling someone to just sit on his @ss all day. So, I made low “energy-level” and poor plan-execution as one of my dealbreakers. This is not for everyone, but it’s worked out for me.
I'm with ya
I’m here right now. Been here before. Will be here again.
My husband goes through periods where he gains about 20 lbs, then works out, eats healthy, loses 20 lbs. When he stops he gains it back. And on and on it goes. My husband genuinely does not like working out or eating healthy. It is only an means to an end for him.
Working out and eating healthy is important to me and IS a lifestyle for me, so I try to make it a lifestyle for us…but when he’s not motivated, he is NOT motivated. It can be frustrating because sometimes I want to shout at him, “hey! remember! you don’t like when you gain a lot of weight! let’s not get in that situation again!”
Basically I just try to remember that just because it is important and a lifestyle for me doesn’t mean that it is for him. I met and loved him before living healthy was important to me, and so it’s not really fair of me to now impose my changed habits on him. I can try to a point, but I can’t make him motivated if he’s not.
It’s tough!
Houston Attny
Such a good question and one I struggle with too without any answer. How do you encourage/push/support without being a nag, particularly when one of you is type A (me) and the other is mostly talk (him)? Looking forward to reading the wise hive’s responses.
Motivator?
Houston Attny, I feel like part of the problem (for me) is that I have NO IDEA how external motivation is supposed to work. I am such a self-starter by myself that I can’t imagine asking someone else to help me get pumped up/invested in a project, so I can’t even fathom what meaningful support would look like. I realize this is an empathy issue and that someone who has trouble getting motivated can’t just flick a switch and get motivated, but . . . awlekn;lgwiehnkg.
Friends, I’m very grateful for all the good advice so far. Please keep it coming.
Houston Attny
I completely agree. I think my mom tried to ‘motivate’ me when I was younger, but it was almost always to health goals she thought I should have, mainly losing weight. So I guess I know what it DOESN’T look like. But what successful motivation looks like – I’m with you. I simply don’t know. What I’ve really wanted to do, I’ve done and pushed myself to do.
Sometimes I almost feel resentful that he doesn’t have the internal motivation. I might remind him of a goal he has, but then I sense he doesn’t appreciate my comment (clearly b/c I’m doing it wrong) so I feel like I’m nagging. Then, I resent being perceived this way as my comment was simply because he didn’t have the internal motivation to do what he said he will do. Yes, I’m clearly crazy. :)
goldribbons
“Hey, SO, how do you see *our* life in 10 years? What should it look like in 5 years to be half way there? How about next year? Now let’s set tangible goals for this weekend.”
Mpls
Don’t try to provide “external motivation”. It is nagging no matter how you slice it.
You can say “what would you like me to do to help” when SO brings it up on his own. You can plan/suggest activities that fall in line with his stated goals and ask if he wants to join, as someone mentioned above. You can compliment him on the results when he does something in line with his goals. Those fall under the umbrella of being supportive. But you can’t make him WANT to do something enough to actually get up and do it. He’s got to want it on his own. All you can do is do your best to make it EASY for him to do it.
High maintenance?
OK, this is going to come across as a #richladyproblem, but I’m wondering if anyone else has this internal debate.
As I’ve entered my ’30s, I’ve started paying more attention to hair, makeup and overall appearance. After spending most of my teens and twenties using cheap products and never being very happy with them (or my appearance), I now buy only salon products for my hair and mostly mid-range makeup and skincare brands. Basically, drugstore purchases are for things like deodorant, toothpaste, lotion and mascara.
I’ve noticed a huge difference in the effectiveness of the products I use now, and I genuinely enjoy using them. I know that sounds weird, but I do. So, my arsenal of products makes me happy and I can finally afford them — but sometimes I feel like I’ve become a little high-maintenance in my beauty requirements. I don’t think I *look* particularly done up (I strive for a natural look overall), but I feel a little guilty about my preferences. As far as I know, I am the only one of my friends who spends much on beauty products. It’s not something I brag about or even mention, but I’ve heard my friends make comments about the higher-end stuff not being worth it. For whatever reason, I feel a little guilty that I don’t feel that way at all! I want to like drugstore makeup, but in most cases, after much trial and error, I don’t! And my hair is simply easier to style and care for when I use better products. In the end, having better “stuff” saves me time and effort and I waste practically nothing, especially compared to when I was constantly experimenting with cheaper products.
I don’t think I’m being a brand snob, but I still feel a little bit … frivolous? Or like I’ve bought into some trap of what it means to be a polished, professional-looking woman? It’s strange.
mascot
It works for you and you can afford it, so just don’t worry about it. Everyone has their things that they are picky about.
eek
This. Own it.
a.
Yup. I’m a broke-ass twenty-something and I only have expensive makeup. It works better on my skin and stays where I put it, so it’s worth it to me to pay more for quality.
Anon
You do you.
I have a friend who stated that she would never spend the money on a purse that I have. However, she is constantly replacing her cheaper purses that she gets tired of. In the end, it’ll probably be same amount of money. As long as nobody is murdering anbody or skimping on the brunch check, do what works for you!
Laura B
Ugh, this reminds me of something that happened last month. After I obsessed about it for a year, my DH bought me a Modula Pippa in Shark for my birthday, and I take it everywhere. It was my first “bigger” purse purchase. It’s a beautiful purse and gets compliments often, but because I’m in the rural Midwsest isn’t really recognizable or the standard price point of what most people have. I was at a family event and it was sitting at the table, and my cousin sought me out in another room to ask about it – what kind, where did I get it, and how much was it right in front of my sister, who has a new child, a husband in college, and about zero for discretionary money. And then, after I tell her how much it is, the cousin makes a big deal about not touching it and admiring it from afar because she couldn’t spend that much. The whole thing passed relatively quickly, but it was really uncomfortable.
Pippa
I’m considering the same bag, but I can’t tell if it comes with the longer shoulder strap, too. Does it?
Mouse
If you’re in NYC, you’re welcome to check it out.
I bought the longer strap version (doesn’t come with a cross body strap) in December but then realized it’s too similar to a different bag that I have to justify keeping it. If you want to check it out with no obligations to purchase, please feel free to email me at anonmouse012 at gmail.
I am also about to post on CL for $200 OBO.
L
Mouse, if Pippa doesn’t want it would you post an email address? I would likely buy it off you if you don’t have any bites on CL
Laura B
The Shark used to only come in the shorter handle with the optional shoulder strap up until a few months ago. Then they were offering both, and now when I just checked it looks to me like it’s just the longer handle. Haha can you tell I stalk the Modalu site a little obsessively?
Honestly, I wish I had the longer handle version and no shoulder strap, but that’s just the way I carry bags. I am now becoming a little obsessed with the Kaylin.
Mouse
L – You can reach me at anonmouse012 at gmail dot com. I’m open to travelling to meet up but am also very centrally located 33/Park.
Giraffe with curls
Is it available state-side or did you order from UK? Would a small-ish laptop fit inside? Beautiful bag, and congrats on the purchase. Enjoy it!!
Pippa
Not in NYC–L, have at it and enjoy your new bag!
TBK
If it’s not hurting your finances, why not spend your money on what makes you happy? Also, it doesn’t matter in the end (see previous sentence re doing what makes you happy) but it sounds like you’re picking the higher end products because you actually DO think they’re worth the extra money — you’ve tried the cheaper stuff and it just doesn’t work as well for you. What’s wrong with that? I buy foundation, lipstick, and cheek color at the department store because I find the drug store products are nowhere near as good. As long as you’re not looking down on or making rude comments about your friends’ drug-store procured appearance, I say go nuts!
AJ
I’m a temping librarian, and I start my day with Clinique, MAC, and Tarte. It looks good and stays in place. I also use Moroccan Oil in my hair. It makes me feel good and I want to prioritize it, so I’m going to.
MB
After working hard to gain the experience and paycheck that allow you to have the indulgences, why not? Part of being an adult is earning the right to pick and choose what is important to you. And some of the joys of being an adult are being able to regularly afford the things that you couldn’t as a teenager / young adult. I am right there with you that certain make-up and products are better than others and it often correlates to price.
It sounds like you make informed choices and are not wasteful, so there’s nothing really frivolous about it. Taking care of yourself is important. We are given one body. I believe in treating it right, which includes nice skin care and hair care, etc.
mamabear
Don’t worry about it. If the products work for you and you can afford them, it’s no one’s business.
The older you get, the more your friends will be using high end products anyway.
Also, it’s fun to give these items as gifts to your drugstore product loving friends. I love giving a YSL lip gloss or a Chanel blush/highlighter as a birthday gift to my girlfriends.
Anon
Also, the older I get the less I give a sh!t about what people think of my consumption choices.
espresso bean
You’re not a brand snob at all. If you can afford it and it brings you joy, why not indulge?
Your comment made me curious — which products are your favorites? Which brands are worth spending a little more on, and for which types of products?
Susie
I personally wouldn’t spend my money on expensive cosmetics and creams but I also think it’s your money and you can spend it as you please.
High maintenance?
Thanks for your thoughts, ladies. As I was writing this out, my own motivations started becoming clearer to me. I’m in a stage of life in which I’m sacrificing quite a bit already. If buying nice beauty stuff makes me feel pampered and is a form of taking care of myself, maybe that’s not the worst thing.
Owning it.
Seventh Sister
Everyone has their own priorities for nonessential spending. I will go without buying clothes for months and months then buy a single pair of fancy shoes. My kids got new mail-order snow pants for Christmas even though we live in So Cal and go up to see the snow maybe three times every winter. Most of their clothes are hand-me-downs, from Target, or gifts from relatives.
My hairdresser is expensive, but worth it to me, so I skip manicures, pedicures, waxing and brow shaping. As for makeup, I feel like I’m paying for expertise at the department store counter, since I make consistently bad choices with drugstore makeup products.
I used to be a lot more sensitive to the criticism of friends and relatives over this kind of thing – e.g., I can’t believe you bought that purse, I’d never spend that much on a lipstick, etc., but I try to step back and realize that everyone has their indulgences. My mom buys relatively expensive purses but uses drugstore makeup, my sister dyes her own hair but has the best shoes in the family, my mother-in-law constantly shops for new pieces of tweeny polyester crap instead of buying one nice dress, and so on.
Carly
NYC ladies–I’m going to NY for the long weekend and really only have room to bring one coat. Does anyone still wear down puffers there, or will I stick out like a sore thumb? It looks like the weather has warmed up enough that I don’t technically need the puffer, but I’d live to hear thoughts from Manhattan locals. Thanks in advance!!
Anon
If there is any chance of it getting cold enough that you’d want the puffer, do it!! (I just checked, it’ll get under 32 on Sat/Sun nights).
I didn’t for my eurotrip and sorely regretted it.
anon
Yes, people wear puffers. Almost exclusively in black. Another color will make you stand out.
Anonymous
I don’t see how you can really “stick out” in NYC. There’s so many people there from so many walks of life. Nobody really sticks out in a city of that many people constantly on the move. I mean, there’s a naked cowboy in Times Square. I doubt a green puffer coat is going to make you stick out more than he. Own it and you won’t stick out.
Alanna of Trebond
You can wear grey, blue. Actually, no one cares about your puffer color.
Senior Attorney
I wore my red puffer coat on a visit to NYC last winter and although I am certain nobody mistook me for a native, I felt happy and warm and totally presentable.
mamabear
I resisted and resisted and resisted and now I LOVE my puffy coat. I do not LOVE how it looks. I still feel like I’m wearing a sleeping bag with sleeves. But it is warm and lightweight and is easy to squish into an overhead bin on the airplane.
mamabear
And what I meant to add is that I don’t feel like I stick out wearing a puffy coat. Lately about 50% of the women around where I work are wearing them. That week the highs were 16 degrees? Closer to 100%.
rosie
“I still feel like I’m wearing a sleeping bag with sleeves.”
That’s how I felt once I finally gave in and got a puffer coat. But the I realized, if there were a socially acceptable way to wear a sleeping bag in public all the time, why wouldn’t I do it?
rosie
*then
Veronica
Amen! I’ve lived in the Northeast for about a year and finally caved and bought one a month ago. I swear I could just curl up and fall asleep anywhere in that thing.
An
Lots of people wear them. When you’re walking everywhere, you want to be warm.
Carly
Ok, thanks all. My puffer is black, with a faux fur trimmed hood, so you have convinced me I will not be shunned. Thanks.
Career threadjack
Career threadjack –
(regular poster, anon and vague to avoid outing myself)
My SO will be completing his PhD in X within the next few years. My current job is in-house and somewhat of a niche. Once SO graduates, it is very likely that we will relocate because our current city does not have many jobs available in his field. I’m fine with relocating, but want to make sure that I spend the next few years getting my ducks in a row, as much as possible, to set myself up for the inevitable job search. I’m far enough out from law school that I will not need to sit for another bar exam unless we relocate to a state without reciprocity (and, naturally, California is a strong possibility because his field has many opportunities there).
If you were in my shoes, what would you be doing in order to make sure you are as competitive as possible? Also, because there is so much unknown (exact degree completion date is a moving target , what about a post-doc?, etc. etc.), suggestions for keeping my Type-A, never-met-a-situation-I-didn’t-try-to-plan, self, calm, would also be appreciated!
TBK
I’d try to meet as many lawyers in as many cities as possible — so things like ABA national-level meetings in your field would be helpful. I’d also get involved in your law school’s alumni programs. You’re more likely to connect with alumni in cities where you might wind up living. Once you have some better idea of possible cities, I’d make sure to have informal coffee/lunch meetings set up with lawyers in that city any time you visit (drawing potential invitees from list of people you met through ABA, law school, or any other network such as college etc.) Also, sounds like you’re senior enough to write some articles and/or have speaking engagements — if you could do this in a way that gives you a broad audience, that could help get people familiar with your name.
Houston Attny
If you might be moving to a different practice area, perhaps you could write a couple of papers between now and then on particular issues in your goal practice area. Maybe relating it to an issue you face in-house if that’s possible but thinking outside the box to something that would appeal to a broader range/issue. Also, though it might seem counterintuitive, I suggest getting as involved as possible in your local bar activities. Though you’ll likely relocate, you never know who you might meet who knows someone in your new city or who works for a firm with an office in your new city.
Anon For This
I’m in a similar position because I’m intending on moving (hopefully within the year) to live in the same city as my SO. But there are a ton of factors and variables up in the air so my Type-A self is going a little crazy.
You’re actually in a tougher situation than I am because you’re not entirely sure where you’ll be moving but here is what is working for me: I’ve compiled a list of law firms in the city I hope to move to that I may be interested in, I’m working on taking a class to potentially make me more competitive etc.
The hardest part is calming myself down because I feel so unsettled but I’m trying to remind myself that I can’t plan life so while I’m trying to work hard and make sure I’d be an ideal candidate at another firm, I’m trying not to stress out about the unknowns. Once I know when I’ll be moving, I’ll actually start job-hunting but until then, I’m keeping myself competitive but also am not trying to leave my job before I have to.
I hope that’s helpful….
Susie
As long as you stay in-house you don’t even have to take the California bar exam!
Divaliscious11
Its probably to late for you to read this but just in case, start expanding your portfolio of work. Ask for work in areas outside your niche, build a more general practice.
D
My fiance sent me a planted lily plant for my office for V-Day. I am thrilled!
momentsofabsurdity
Aw, so sweet!
a.
That’s really sweet! I love lilies.
Minor thread-jack about V-Day traditions: I’ve never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day, so my mom and I have evolved the tradition of going to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner and swanky cocktails. My stress level re: being single is at 0 right now, but I’m unexpectedly missing the nice dinner with my mom! Sigh.
a.
Moderated for C**KTAILS.
That’s really sweet! I love lilies.
Minor thread-jack about V-Day traditions: I’ve never had a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day, so my mom and I have evolved the tradition of going to one of our favorite restaurants for dinner and swanky c**ktails. My stress level re: being single is at 0 right now, but I’m unexpectedly missing the nice dinner with my mom! Sigh.
Achoo
Not to sh*t on your Valentine, which is very sweet, but would you consider bringing them home? Lilies trigger migraines & allergies, and a lot of people just can’t take the overpowering smell. It’s just not a nice thing to keep in an office setting unless you’re in a giant c-suite where it can only affect you.
Cb
So my gentleman caller is meeting my co-workers tonight (I roped him into helping at an event, super romantic v-day). He’s pretty shy and they are a bit overwhelming en masse so fingers crossed all goes well.
Anonymous
Exactly how am I supposed to “earn confidence” from a partner to get more responsibility when the slate of my contributions gets wiped clean after every case and all of those items are attributed to the just-more-senior (male) associate I work with? This even includes cases where that associate barely contributed.
LawChick
I’m dying to hear an answer to this. Dealing with something similar.
anon
Copy the partner more often on your work product up to midlevel/sr associate. Partner will understand it’s been edited, but will also know you did something. Do this with caution though–it’s not good to have partners on email strings where you might get reamed or where you are copying them unnecessarily. Also, this is a know your office/know how important partner is type-thing. But it can help. Last, you probably won’t get much credit until you’re a 3rd year or so…some partners see everything below that as fungible/useless, no matter how awesome you are.
BB
Need to vent a stressful problem…we just moved and our cat had to come in the car for ~3 hour drive. Last year we bought her a $150 Sleepypod because we thought it would be nicer than her hard carrier. She hates it (of course), and tried to scratch her way out.
We discovered last night that she had ripped one of her claws out during the trip trying to get out :( Her poor little paw is swollen and there’s dried blood around her claw. We’re monitoring it right now because we don’t want to add to her stress by taking her to the vet immediately. She seems to be behaving normally but not putting as much weight on the bad paw.
On a related note, if your cat likes to scratch their way out of carriers, DO NOT get the Sleepypod. It’s cute and all, but their claws can get caught in the mesh top and then this happens. :(
Blonde Lawyer
Sorry to hear that! My dog cracked her claw once. She only needed to go to the vet to help us trim it/cauterize it so it wouldn’t keep hurting. If yours ripped the claw all the way out there is probably nothing that needs to be done. Most vets will tell you over the phone if the pet needs to be seen or not. You could call and ask and if they say “bring him/her in” you can ask what they actually would do and see if it is anything you can do yourself.
k-padi
Poor kitty! Car ride, self-inflicted injury, and a new, strange house!
As long as she isn’t telling you “I’m hiding in the closet until I die”, she will probably be alright. The moment she hides in the closet, I rush her to the vet. Cats are so good at hiding their pain that it’s really the first sign of anything being seriously wrong.
Anon
Ripped it out, or broke it off below the quick? I would be more concerned about the former. If she’ll let you, clean it up with some peroxide and then give it a day or two. If she broke the nail, it will be sore, but it should heal up fine (like blonde lawyer said, if the nail is broken but attached, it will need to be cut off. The vet can do it, or you can do it and then apply styptic powder to stop any bleeding. If its really high on the quick, it may need professional attention to stop the bleeding). The concern with either is going to be an infection, especially with using her litter box, etc. I think its recommended that declawed cats use shredded newspaper rather than litter for some time period after their surgery. You might consider that as well. Swelling plus heat is usually a good sign of infection, as is low appetite and acting lethargic. Hope she’s better soon!
BB
I think it’s partially ripped out above the quick. It basically looks like she forgot to retract one claw right now. We’re going to trim it later today (she’s going to hate us) since it doesn’t look broken enough to fall off and clean it a bit. The good thing is she has a new litter box with new litter and the new apartment is very clean.
The somewhat funny thing is that it’s incredibly difficult to tell if she’s lethargic/low appetite since she is the most inactive kitty I know and also inhales food. We got her abandoned and starving off the street, and she’s been making up for it ever since. :) But to k padi’s point, she’s walking around the place and jumping on low windowsills, so we think she’s okay without the vet at least for now.
Thanks of the good wishes, everyone!
Bonnie
If it’s partially ripped out, I’d take her to the vet. Also, litter, even if clean, can cause problems whenever there is an injury. Our vet recommended Yesterday’s News or something else that does not have fine particles that will get into the injury.
Anon
Does anyone have a dermatologist they can recommend in the Boston area? I recently moved to Brookline from DC and need to find a new one. I was having blue light treatments done before and it was really helping with my skin issues and I want to keep it up!
Derm
If you don’t mind me asking, who did you use in DC?
K Babes
I went to Dr. Perkins recently and liked him a lot. He’s on ZocDoc so you can schedule appts online and he took the time to really talk through all my (slightly nervous and hysterical) questions.
anon
No advice on a derm but welcome to Brookline! I love it.
Diana Barry
I just went to Skin Care Physicians on Rte 9. It is a big practice and they do a lot of cosmetic stuff. My derm looks like a Barbie doll (!!!) but seems good.
anonymous
I know this sounds silly, but I could really use some tips for relocating to a different city. Like how to to do it without going totally insane. My husband and I have lived in the same house (as owners) for 10 years, and I admittedly have an above average need to control things like privacy, security, and general sense of peace and quiet around our home. So I see several issues that need to be addressed. We’ll sell our current home, but we don’t know enough about the new city/area to buy before we go there. Even though we’ll make several visits, I’m just not comfortable making that big of a decision without real-life experience over time, plus job location will also determine neighborhood location. I’ll likely telecommute and stay with my current employer, my husband will be looking for a new employer. The rental market is tight there and most seem to want a minimum one year lease. Is that usually negotiable? We don’t want to be locked in for a year or more while neighborhood-hunting. Also the idea of not being able to put in a security system and such makes me unhappy, but I know, I’ll just have to deal with it.
We have two small dogs and really prefer not to live in an apartment.
I know people move all the time, but I feel so settled here and like this is a huge undertaking, not to mention the pressure — we’re relocating to be near my family, and to improve quality of life. Neither of us love it here, we’ve mostly stayed out of convenience and general career satisfaction with our employers, but some life events have motivated us to take the bull by the horns and move (and also find the perfect neighborhood and home that we’ll likely stay in until retirement.) Now if I could just figure out how to do it. I’m overwhelmed by the timing and details. Plus omg, we have so.much.stuff. Not in the hoarder sense, but the idea of moving said stuff is just….I can’t even imagine.
Sorry this got so long, but if any of you ladies have tips on doing this successfully I would love to hear them.
roses
Every rental I’ve ever had has required at least a one year lease. However, you might have better luck with a sublet. A lot of people – some probably in the same boat as you – want to leave their places before their lease is up, leaving open an unfurnished place. Check craigslist and make syre you talk with the sublettor on the phone and get everything in writing. Also see what the laws are on breaking your lease – the landlord might not be able to charge you more than a fixed amount if he/she is able to find another renter, which would seem likely if the rental market is tight.
You also need to figure out which is more important to you – security jsut the way you like it or having a house. An apartment with a doorman and such might give you a greater sense of security than living in a house. You could put some of your stuff in storage for a time if it won’t all fit. It’s not out of the question though that you could find a house rental that also has a security system.
As far as *all the stuff*, it really, really helps to have a moving service. Some will even pack your stuff for you! Definitely worth the money if you can afford it.
Anon
Re: security – we rent (large managed complex) and each unit has an individual security system – you need to pay to have it activated/monitored, but it is an option. Also, leases are available from 3 to 12 months – you’ll pay extra per month for a shorter lease, but the total extra paid is still less than the penalty would be for breaking a 12 month lease early.
Finally, and this is obviously an individual choice, but if security is your concern, then there are other options available besides a security system.
Anne Shirley
It sounds like a house in the suburbs would work? People do rent those out, and I think negotiating adding a security system would be fairly reasonable. I do think you’re going to struggle to find less than a one year lease though.
anon
For apartments, you can generally search online and see which ones offer short-term leases. The rent will be at a premium, though. The cheapest price will be for 12 months. Some offer 6 month leases; my current place will lease for any number of months you choose (3 and up). When you lease, ask what the penalty is for breaking the lease early. You may decide it is worth it to you to get a 12 month lease and eat the penalty when the time comes to move into a permanent home. The penalty can be up to one month’s rent or more, and any “discount” you got on the rent will have to be repaid (generally).
Several apartments I’ve had came with a security system. These have all been newer apartments, built in the last 5-10 years. At my last one, I think you had the call up the security company to set it up. Obviously you don’t get to pick which service you go with, but it is available if you want it. But, I think if you have a need to control privacy, apartments are not for you. Your neighbors will make noise. You will hear when others argue, and others will hear you too. Your dogs will probably not have a yard of their own.
You could also see options for renting a house. I’ve never done it before, but it is probably a lot different that renting from a “big box” apartment and national management company. You may have more flexibility in lease terms and pricing.
Sydney Bristow
Many places I’ve lived have allowed for a month-to-month lease, but it required larger monthly payments and sometimes a bigger deposit. The other option is to sign a 1-year lease, but break it if you find a place to buy during that year. It varies, but I think 1-month rent was a typical fee to break a lease where I’ve lived.
There are also apartment complexes or townhouse complexes that are gated. Would that help with your security concerns? A townhouse complex might be nice for you because you can get a little yard and garage, which would help with the dogs.
Also, if you can afford it, hire movers. Seriously. It makes all the difference in the world as far as I’m concerned. And start going through your stuff to get rid of things that you no longer use or want.
mascot
Are you planning on getting your current house sold prior to moving to your new city? We recently relocated and found that only apartment complexes were really willing to work with us on short leases. I lived in one for a few months while DH looked for work in our new city. But, we found a really nice house to rent that has enough room for all of our stuff, a fenced yard, a security system that we could monitor, etc. Our lease is a year, but we also like getting to know our new city and all the places we would want to live. Selling our house was exhausting and expensive so it it nice to have a bit of a break from real estate. You can do anything for a year or two. Also, we anticipate moving before the lease term is up. The management company will re-market it for us although we are prepared financially to eat a few months of rent if needed.
We hired professional packers and movers and would do it again in a heartbeat. You can always put things in storage.
anonymous
Thanks for all of your replies. We’ll definitely use movers, although I’m on the fence on having them pack for us. Maybe everything without sentimental value.
Mascot, yes, we’ll be selling our house before leaving, or one of us will go first and the other stay behind. Sounds like you found a great rental situation there, and I totally agree needing the break from real estate. I’m actually looking forward to that.
Bonnie
Consider a furnished sublet. It’s hard not to live without your things for a while but is much simpler than moving everything multiple times.
Divaliscious11
Maybe change your perspective – rather than being stuck for a year, its a year to get acclimated, check out new neighborhoods and start the buying process if you find a place you love. I relocated a few years ago – hoping to maybe do it again soon – and so glad I rented the first house instead of buying it. Not only did the house have problems, but I wasn’t as crazy about the neighborhood once I lived there for a while. I actually rented my current home, then just bought it once we figured out it was a good fit for our family, as well as centrally located for the kids schools and activities….
anon
New version of if a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it
If your husband/boyfriend/SO gets you flowers and you don’t post it on facebook, does it even count?
cc
Apparently my whole newsfeed does have the best. boyfriend. ever. I wonder if they are all dating the same man? They did all get the same flowers! (Just kidding :)
Cat
I’d gladly take a newsfeed of flowers over the apparent reality that half my friends think “liking” a photoshopped pic of Bill Gates will get them $5000.
that said – seriously.
Anon
Haha. Kind of like – if you get engaged and don’t post a picture of the ring on facebook, did it really happen?
Leigh
Hahaha…Just saw a picture on Facebook of my brother’s girlfriend’s ring (I guess now fiancee) announcing that he proposed last night.
I sure hope my Mom didn’t find out through Facebook is all I have to say about that.
anon
Haha yes. But at least that does communicate some information people are interested in. The posting of flowers is just “WORLD! Please note that I am cherished by someone! My worth is reflected by these flowers” Really I can’t think of any reason that isn’t bragging to post a picture of the flowers you receive. I’m an old fart though and I just thank my hubs when I get them, I don’t need to tell the world.
Maribel
Grumpy much?
k-padi
Yeah, I’m avoiding Facebook today. I don’t know if I can take all the saccharine sweetness.
Lillith
I can say from experience that when I am truly happy, I forget to post on Facebook. If I put up a picture of flowers or something, I am trying to make myself feel better. As in “if I post these flowers, maybe no one will know that I haven’t slept with my husband in a month.” If I can convince the world things are OK, it helps convince (trick?) myself.
Anonymous
+1
Statutesq
No. That’s also why they deliver flowers to the office and not home ;) Somebody’s gotta witness it!
ergh
Or post about it here, apparently? [See: upthread]
Fiona
I am apparently d’un certain age where everyone’s babies are their Valentines.
me too
My friends have actually turned into their babies, according to their profile pics.
Anonymous
Have they also changed their email addresses so instead of being:
“janedoe@….com” they’re now “Sammie’sMommy@….com”? That’s the worst. Way to cement your loss of identity and celebrate your codependence!
HSAL
YES. I read a tweet once about how “I used to know this girl, but then she changed her name and turned into a baby.”
Young Consultant
Love this comment
Clothes to bring to England?
TJ – SO and I will be travelling to England for 3 weeks to visit his relatives. One set lives in Wimbledon in London; another set lives in the countryside and likes to take long rambles in the said countryside. I need help deciding what cold-weather clothes to bring, especially in the interests of packing light! And I also am not sure what would blend in the most in England, as I haven’t been in years.
Ideally, it would be nice to get by with one bulky coat, but two would be OK. My options:
A Patagonia puffer in black (waist length)…probably good for the countryside, but not very dressy if we go out
A J. Crew Lady Day Coat in ivory (knee length)…great for going out, quite warm
A Michael Kors wool-ish coat in black, with a funnel neck (mid-thigh length)…not quite as warm, but less dressy than J. Crew
I also have less bulky packable layers (a rain jacket, a down vest, a black shell I usually use for skiing).
Advice? TIA!
Nonny
My advice: Take the Lady Day coat – it should be warm enough and will be great in London. You can wear it on the plane, and pack your rain jacket for tramping around the countryside. If you wear the rain jacket with a warm sweater layered underneath you should be fine.
Nonny
Woops, just noticed that the Lady Day coat is ivory. That being the case, perhaps take the Michael Kors instead….I’d be terrified of taking a white coat to London and getting it grimy on the Tube etc.
Anon8
I went to England last December. Not sure what the typical weather is like, but when I was there it was somewhat cold and rainy. This is what I brought.
1. Lands End Down Coat – It is one of their knee length puffer styles. I get cold easily and it kept me very warm while we spent time outside sight-seeing. The hood was great b/c I could just pull it up and it protected me from the rain. I was warm and dry the whole trip.
2. One pair of black ponte knit pants. I also brought a pair of fleece lined leggings. Most days I wore the leggings and pants tucked into black, flat riding boots.
3. I bought knit tops to wear with the black pants. I get cold easily so I layered with cardigans and long sleeved shirts.
4. One pair of skinny jeans. I only wore these once and wore them tucked into brown riding boots. For the week we were there I could have done without the extra pair of boots, but I wanted to be prepared.
Honestly, I spent most of my time outside so I had my jacket on the most. I also brough a pashmina.
We didn’t go out much at night so I didn’t bring any dressy clothes.
My top two reccomendations are good, sturdy walking shoes and a warm, functional jacket, especially if you will be outside for long periods.
I saw a lot of skinny jeans, leggings, etc tucked into boots and ankle boots.
Clothes to bring to England?
Thanks, this is really helpful. I’d also been considering whether it would be crazy to bring 2 pairs of boots, but forgot to ask!
Anna Bates
The Lady Day.
Sutemi
I don’t know how close the relatives are, but would you feel comfortable just piling on layers in the country and borrowing coat/hat/working gloves from one of them there? When I visit my relatives/in laws in winter, I travel with a jacket and wool sweater and know that I can borrow a warmer coat from them if the temps dive into the teens.
Clothes to bring to England?
That’s actually a good thought…I’m quite short and my SO comes from a family of giants, but a humungous coat doesn’t really matter when tramping around outside!
AnonForThis
I am walking around with a lump in my throat after something that happened this morning…my SO and I had a giant fight a few days ago (which turned out to be over nothing more than a misunderstanding) and we resolved it. I opened my door this morning to find a thoughtful gift waiting from him (we are long-distance right now.) I called my mother and she said, “I wonder if he’d have done that had you guys not had that fight a few days ago.” I went from feeling awesome to feeling like s***. I wonder if I’m just being overly sensitive though.
Anon
Dude, your mom kind of sucks. Maybe not all the time. But with that comment – yes.
Does it matter if the thoughtful gift was planned before the giant fight, or in response to the giant fight? The bottom line is the same – he cares about you.
hoola hoopa
+1000
Iago's Daughter
Agree that your mom’s comment was such a dick move. Is she always this negative and does she enjoy undercutting other people’s happiness? Or does she just not like your guy and is trying to make up reasons to spoil your enjoyment of this relationship?
I say this as someone whose mother (“Iago”) is an accountant by vocation, but an expert sh!tstirrer by avocation. She has a bloodhound nose for conflict, and if there isn’t any, tries to stir some up by planting just-likely-enough nasty suspicions.
goldribbons
Your mom sucks. Your SO is awesome. HUGS.
LilyB
Does your mom generally have a problem with your SO? maybe she’s feeling defensive of you after the fight, and expressed herself poorly. Still, it was hurtful.
Parfait
Not a helpful comment, mom. Feel awesome. Your man cares enough to work through the fight AND to send you a thoughtful gift.
Leigh
This is why I never talk to my mother about problems between me and my DH. (Not to say you shouldn’t: I just don’t because it causes problems similar to yours.)
Enjoy your gift and try to ignore your mom’s comment. She either a) had a bad moment where something she wouldn’t have usually said slipped out, or b) has an attitude problem that you can’t fix.
cbackson
First off, I agree with others that your mom’s comment was kind of sabotage-y. But even so, think about it this way: (i) he loves you and bought you a thoughtful gift, because he loves you and knows you so well! OR (ii) he loves you, but like many a person, isn’t awesome about remembering holidays, then you guys had an Awful Fight and he thought, man, I really love AnonForThis and I want to make sure she knows that after our Awful Fight. I shall go and get her a gift, which she will love, because I love her and know what makes her feel special. Oh! And it’s a holiday! Man, am I doubly glad I had this idea.
The take-away, in either case, is that he loves you, and he knows you and cares enough about you to pick something that you will love. YAY for that, is all I’m saying.
long time lurker
This is totally something my mom would say, because she has no filter. Maybe your mom was doing the same. It is annoying though, hugs, been there…
rosie
That was a crappy thing for your mom to say. Your SO cares about you regardless of what present he got for you or why he got it for you.
AnonForThis
Thank you everyone, I really appreciate your input and I feel a lot better. Cbackson’s comment in particular made me laugh :)
protect our punctuation
A woman in my office cannot use semicolons. And she keeps sending around all-office emails. In which she uses a comma where a sensible person would use a semicolon.
AND I WORK IN PUBLISHING.
Would I be very, very, very evil if I printed out some of her most recent offenses, marked them with the appropriate punctuation, and slipped them anonymously into her mailbox?
SFedits
As an editor and writing instructor (medical center), boy, do I feel this! I’m wondering why you’d prefer to be anonymous though, rather than talking to her in person about it, letting her know that you want her to present herself in the best possible way.
Sydney Bristow
Is there an easy to remember rule about when to use a semicolon versus a comma? I’m probably guilty of this one myself.
momentsofabsurdity
Easy rule – if you are separating two sentences that could stand on their own (ie, neither would be a fragment) use a semicolon. Otherwise, use a comma.
So
“I ran to the store; the dog got out” would be a semicolon,
“When I ran to the store, the dog got out” would be comma.
Also this link is both funny and helpful:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon
momentsofabsurdity
Side note to POP — if you haven’t seen that comic before, maybe email it around to the whole office (since you work in publishing) as a ha ha copy editing grammar comic and hope she gets the hint?
hoola hoopa
I like this idea.
Not a single rule, but...
http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/semicolons.aspx
LR
Semicolons should be used when you have two separate two independent clauses (i.e., two sentences that could stand on their own, but are related) that you want to join together. You can’t separate two independent clauses with only a comma – you need a period, semicolon, or a comma and conjunction.
BrendaPatimkin
It wouldn’t be evil. It would be rude and childish.
protect our punctuation
PS. I know I am using a lot of periods up there–it’s for dramatic effect, friends. Please don’t let this become one of those “But *your* grammar isn’t perfect either!” flamewars.
Lalo
Ipad question (where are you eek?): What is the best word processing app (free or paid) for the ipad?
RR
I haven’t done an exhaustive comparison; but I selected Quickdocs after reviewing the options, and I’ve been very happy with it.
Iago's Daughter
Reposting to avoid moderation.
Agree that your mom’s comment was such a d1ck move. Is she always this negative and does she enjoy undercutting other people’s happiness? Or does she just not like your guy and is trying to make up reasons to spoil your enjoyment of this relationship?
I say this as someone whose mother (“Iago”) is an accountant by vocation, but an expert sh!tstirrer by avocation. She has a bloodhound nose for conflict, and if there isn’t any, tries to stir some up by planting just-likely-enough nasty suspicions.
BrendaPatimkin
Iago’s daughter wins Best Comment of the Day for excellent use of allusion.