Coffee Break: ‘Basingstoke’ Wool & Cashmere Coat

Burberry London 'Basingstoke' Wool & Cashmere Coat | CorporetteThere’s already talk of the polar vortex returning this year (and I believe it, given how mild a summer we’ve had here in NYC!), so I suggest we all stock up on nice winter coats we like now. This wool trench from Burberry looks like it means serious business in the warmth department — but it has a sleekness to it that I like also. It’s $1,295 at Nordstrom. Burberry London ‘Basingstoke’ Wool & Cashmere Coat

Psst: Here’s a $398 option (limited sizes, alas) and a plus-sized option.

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Comments

  1. Wanderlust :

    Love Love Love!

    • Gor.Geous.

    • Anonymous :

      +1. I want ALL the Burberry coats. And we don’t even have “winter” here.

    • TO Lawyer :

      I love this but I’m also depressed at the fact that we are thinking of buying winter coats… especially given how brutal our winter was and the fact that we’ve barely had a summer here…

      • The key to surviving winter is to have lots of winter coats. That’s what I tell myself anyway. To justify the…6 coats I have.

    • My Burberry coat is the only piece of designer clothing (not that I have so many) that I feel was actually worth the price.

    • I love this coast so much! One day…

    • Yay! I need a new winter coat, but I am NOT sure about reimbursment from the manageing partner unless I can CONVINCE him that the judge will be abel to see it and like it.

      Last year, my down coat was to puffy and b/c got all dirty I did NOT like weareing it, so I had to borrow a smelley fur coat from Myrna (FOOEY) b/c it was VERY cold and my dad was mad b/c I donated the down coat to NY Cares and he did NOT want to pay for a new coat.

      So now it is already time to figure out what I am goieng to do for the winter. I gave back the coat to Myrna but need a new coat. This one looks good if I can get 40% reimbursed from the manageing partner. Mabye I can ask Rosa to look at it if she goe’s to Nordstrom’s for me. We are now BOTH size 2, even tho I am bigger then she is so she can tell me what she think’s about how the size’s run. If I keep my tuchus down, I can wear this in NYC and no one on the street will be abel to even see my TUCHUS b/c the coat is LONG ENOUGH to cover my tuchus completeley! YAY!

      The manageing partner’s brother again said he would consider marrying me if I was suitable to him as a spouse. He want’s me to do all the cooking for him that his wife did and also to be a “tigeress in the bedroom” (his words, not mine), presumeably b/c he is so viral. FOOEY! I know that his wife is divorceing him and also that he has body odour, so why would I cook all day for him, and then be led to the bedroom by him so that I could be a tigeress and deal with all of that B.O. sweateing from all the huffeing and puffeing every night? No way HOZE! But how can I say it niceley so that he will not get the manageing partner mad at me. I am makeing a great liveing now as a PARTNER and do NOT want to have to go looke for a new job just b/c I do not want to have to have sex every night with his brother after cookeing all day. Beside’s I am not much of a cook, tho I would rather do that all day then have to be a “tigeress in the bedroom” and have all of that on top of me? DOUBEL FOOEY! I think Noah would be much better, tho he has NOT exheibited any kind of sexual interest in me. I think he think’s he is to young for me and he might be afreaid to step up and ask me to date him sexueally. What would the hive do? HELP!

  2. Does anyone have a pair of flip flops or sandals that they love and that are comfortable for being on your feet all day? Bonus points if they aren’t athletic looking. I hate how my feet feel when constricted, so I tend to avoid sneakers, ballet flats, etc., when I can, but I’m realizing that my feet are growing tired of the cheapo flip flops I currently wear.

    • I heart my Sanuk flip flops with the insoles made from yoga mats. I bought the version with the thicker straps over my foot as they are more comfortable than the skinny straps. I have incredibly high arches and these are the most comfortable true “flip flops” that I’ve worn. Last time I looked, Zappos had them in every style and color.

      • I love these too. I’ve had a pair for going on 3 years now – I probably wear them once a week during the summer. I love the squishy yoga mat bottoms, and I like that they have comfy wide straps, but not so wide as to look like a sport shoe.

      • +1 I’ve only had mine for a month or two but they are so comfy! I don’t like wearing flip flops often because I feel like even casual sandals look so much more put together, but the yoga mat flip flops make me want to wear them more often.

    • Anonymous :

      Havaianas (Slim) and Tkees are hands down the best flip flops on the market. Perfect pedicure is required!

    • Birkenstock’s?

      • Lady Harriet :

        They’re not precisely flip flops, but I have a pair of Birkenstock Mayaris and they’re great. The Gizeh and Adria styles are closer to traditional flip flops.

    • Birkenstock Relax 100s

    • These: http://www.zappos.com/skechers-reggae-rasta-black-suede-beige-trim?ef_id=UzGvkQAAAL9ApwEc:20140821185214:s

      They’re not perfect in the “not looking athletic” department (also my preference), but I think that the brown doesn’t look too much so. I’ve worn them when I’ve done a LOT of walking, and they’re at least as comfortable as sneakers. I found them to run a little large (and got a 1/2 size down from my usual). I also love that they’re slip-on (hate having to deal with fasteners).

      • Anonymous :

        These are the definition of “I give up” shoes.

        • Some of us would rather be comfortable. You can pry my Reef flip flops out of my cold dead hands.

        • I think that they’re cute. So does my husband. Grow up.

          • Orangerie :

            Not the anonymous above, but I don’t understand how having a dissenting opinion, especially related to clothing, would classify someone as not a grown up…?

          • Having a dissenting opinion is fine. Being rude about it is extremely immature. I stated that these were shoes that I liked, and the person said something insulting about not just the shoes, but a person that would wear these shoes. I assume that the anonymous and rude comment was not made in good faith, but just to be insulting and trollish, which is also immature.

            Do you really not see the difference between saying that you don’t personally like something and saying that they indicate that the person wearing them has given up?

          • Orangerie :

            1- aren’t all comments here anonymous?
            2- would it have been better if she said “I think” before her comment? Either way, it’s still just her opinion, not fashion law. If you like your shoes, wear them. People will have opinions no matter what.
            3- to play devil’s advocate, I don’t really think using “grow up” as a retort is particularly mature.

        • Anonymous :

          Different anonymous from the apparently offending one, but seriously, I do not understand why people bother getting upset about things like this. If I like these shoes and that conveys to some people that “I’ve given up,” I guess to them I’ve given up. So what? I think we ladies should not be so sensitive all the time.

          I didn’t make this comment (and generally don’t make comments like this), but I think to take such an issue is silly.

    • S in Chicago :

      Orthaheel. Have changed my life. I wear them around the house in winter even just because they are so comfortable. Zappos carries.

    • Miss Behaved :

      Not sure if they meet your non-athletic requirements, but I was having plantar fasciitis pain back in June and then I found these:http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004NWMIOC/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_S_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=9TRCBQYZ354A&coliid=I1PI5CX6AP2DDN&psc=1

      I haven’t had any pain since and they’re a lot cheaper than Orthaheel or the other recommended brands. I have them in the gold.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Crocs. Not the ones that look like crocs. The ones that have two black strips across the foot w/ a circle in the middle. Stylish and comfortable.

      http://www.crocs.com/crocs-sanrah/12187,default,pd.html?cid=28M&cgid=women-footwear-sandals

      • Second this recommendation — the platform is firm enough not to be wobbly but cushions every step. Insanely comfortable!

      • Orangerie :

        I’m sure these are comfortable, but they still look like crocs.

        • Yes they do, but I like and want them anyway…

        • Blonde Lawyer :

          I don’t think the all black ones do, personally.

          • Agree that the all black ones don’t, but without a toe grip or back strap I’m wondering how these stay on your feet?

      • I have the crocs that look like peep toe flats with holes on them and they are amazing. People are shocked to hear they are crocs.

      • Crocs Cleo. They’re my go-to comfy sandal. I don’t wear th0ng sandals.

    • these: http://www.amazon.com/Clarks-Womens-Billie-Swing-Sandal/dp/B008TOEES8

      I walked all over Europe in them! I love Clarks.

    • Orangerie :

      Rainbows. Take a while to break in but they are super comfortable afterwards, and last forever. Plus they don’t look orthopedic.

      http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/rainbow-narrow-strap-sandal-women/2941416?

      • I LOVE my Rainbows! They’re going strong after 6 years now. I went with wide strap for extra comfort.

    • Love my Tevas! I buy a pair every summer.

    • Olukai. I swore by Reefs for years, but haven’t looked back after getting these. My pair is two years old and still going strong with year round use.

      • Seattle Freeze :

        Ditto – Olukai Haikus look great, & the all-leather construction is ultra-comfortable. My current pair are 4 years old, with near-daily use, & just starting to show wear.

    • I love my Reefs — the “Ginger” style. The straps are thin fabric and you can get them in dark brown or black. They have never given me a blister, ever — and the foam has a bit of arch support.

      • +1 on Reefs. I wish I could wear them every day. Some have arch support.

    • Yellow Box. I have these and they are the most comfortable: http://www.6pm.com/yellow-box-jello-pastel

      For more structured flip flop style with a wedge, I have some Kenneth Cole Reaction from DSW.

    • I have these Clarks in black patent and love them. Comfortable enough to walk for miles in, and the patent dresses it up a little bit.

      http://www.clarksusa.com/eng/product/un_shade/26063933

    • I had a pair of White Mountain that just died after three years of being well-loved. They were really simple and super comfortable. They were the only non-sneakers I could wear at 9 mos. pregnant and walk the supermarket in comfort.

    • West Coast :

      Ipenema flip flops are great. Nice style and very comfy. Wore around Europe for a month, and looked decent enough to wear to dinner.

    • Katherine :

      I love Clarks Sunbeats for casual wear throughout the warmer months. They are extremely comfortable and longlasting. I bought my current pair 8 years ago and the previous pair lasted for 10 years.

      http://www.footsmart.com/P-Clarks-Womens-Sunbeat-Sandals-80287.aspx?c=Beige&SRCCODE=WMGLGSH1&cm_mmc=goog-_-PLA-_-WMGLGSH1-_-012813&gclid=CJD8iLWepcACFZNffgodYgIAXQ

    • TX Girl in a DC World :

      The Olukai “Ohana” flip flops from Nordstrom are amazing. I shattered my navicular bone in my foot two years ago, and I have been unable to wear heels and most flats every since. Sad, sad, day. Anyway, these flip flops are more athletic-looking than you would probably prefer, but I have the basic black ones and they go with more things than you might think. They are definitely worth checking out, as they are the only shoe I can wear all day long now. Tennis shoes even hurt me after a few hours!

      Also side note, if you like the comfort of Birkenstocks but not necessarily the look of them, I have had a lot of luck with using the birkenstock insert in some flats–like gladiators or anything with a back. I’m not sure if those would help broaden your options.

    • Thanks everyone! These are great recs. I refuse to grow up and wear “adult” shoes. Long live flip-flops!!!

    • cavity maker :

      I had a great pair of reefs. They were about $30, more than I had spent for any flip flops, but they felt really good on my feet. They got “stolen” at a pool party. someone else who wore reefs walked off in them.

      I then got a pair of olukai flip flops. They are a lot more expensive, but I wear flip flops a lot in the South, and I can wear these for days…

  3. Had a longish question about expenses and then realised I was possibly outing myself

    • Anonymous :

      would that seem overly passive-agressive or grabby?

      — yes. Its one week and you’re paid. Its hardly their responsibility to cover it.

    • Honestly, most people in unpaid, non-housing-subsidized internships don’t have their meals paid for. I think you already have it REALLY good and yes, asking for subsidized meals is over the top. You can buy things that don’t require cooking– ingredients for sandwiches, salads, etc assuming you have a mini fridge. And if you don’t I bet you can request one from the hotel.

    • Yes. Don’t do it. I would be pretty appalled if someone who was already being compensated well enough to save more that 50% of their weekly salary and who was provided housing also wanted a lunch/dinner allowance on top of her breakfast.

    • Does your manager have any hand in how expenses are dealt with? Probably not, so it would just come across as whining. If you’re generally well-paid and have had access to free housing the rest of the time, I don’t really think you have much room to complain. Yes, it stinks, and I’d hate to live out of a hotel for a week and eat on the go too, but I’d just consider it a downside of what sounds like an otherwise ideal internship.

  4. Anon for this :

    Threadjack for Seattle ‘rettes: can anyone recommend a good employment attorney? I work for a major company that’s trying to lower the job classifications of employees in my function (and others) while still looking for the same work output and quality (keeping us in the same roles, just reclassifying jobs). I’m 47 and have been at this level since being hired almost 4 years ago with consistently high performance evals. I’m hoping I have some legal options. Thanks!

  5. Random query: does the fact that someone is taking you out to dinner affect what you order? I know for some people (anecdotally at least) this means ordering steak and an expensive wine, or whatever is the equivalent, but I often find I have the oppos*te problem where I am reluctant to order what I normally would if I was paying myself because I don’t want to come off as if I am ordering more because I’m not the one paying.

    I’m not talking about dates so much, but say a mentor/boss and their spouse is taking you and your significant other out to celebrate something at a very nice restaurant. Do you hold off on getting an appetizer or dessert or that second glass of wine? Curious to hear responses.

    • Anonymous :

      Yep. I tend not to be a big eater anyway but I am conscious of what I order if someone else is paying (date or boss or whatever). I’ll usually go just entree + 1 drink (no appetizer or dessert) unless the other person indicates that they will be having apps/dessert. My entree is usually the chicken or pasta, rather the prime rib. Etc.

    • In that situation I would let the hosts take the lead. If they order an appetizer or dessert, get one too if you want. As far as prices, I try to stick to the middle of the road. One exception is if the host says, “Oh get the lobster, this place is famous for it,” or something like that. Then I would get the lobster if I wanted it.

    • Orangerie :

      Yes, absolutely. If it’s a work related meal, I default to the ordering patterns of the most senior person at the table (usually the one paying). No appetizer or dessert for them? I hold off as well. If they order a mid-priced pasta or chicken item, I’m sure as hell not going to order the $40 steak. I think it comes off as tacky to order extra courses and eat them while others just sit and watch you.

      • AnonLawMom :

        Yes, this. However, it does get tricky when I am asked to order first, which is quite common given that servers start with women. I try to ask the person paying what they are ordering in a casual way – “Everything looks amazing here, what are you going to try?” And then I try to stick within a few dollars of their choice. I never order an appetizer and instead defer – “I’m fine without one unless you’d like to share” or something. I am extremely conscious of this because I have expensive food taste and when I am paying I tend toward the pricier items.

        • hoola hoopa :

          +1 I use these techniques as well.

          Another tip when the waiter asks for your order first is to initially order entrée only and add something to your order after everyone has finished, like you had forgotten or that whatever someone else ordered sounded so good that you’d like to try it as well. Really only works for appetizers, small plates, or drinks.

      • Rachelellen :

        Agree completely. But we could have a whole separate conversation about the gender dynamic and food adding to the complexity.

      • Unless you’re the young man in “Tampopo” and just go for it. In perfect French.

        • girl in the stix :

          Oh, yes, that scene is spectacular! All of Tampopo, really–an excellent film!

    • Lady Harriet :

      I usually try to pick something cheaper on the menu and always a meal that costs no more than what my host is ordering. I’m a naturally frugal person, even with other people’s money. I usually ask what the host is getting before we actually order so I have more of a heads-up.

    • I usually stick to the mid-priced items on the menu when someone else is paying and take cues from the host by asking what looks good to them.

      • Well, I guess that’s the secondary issue — I think good hosts often make sure to order an app, and a drink, and coffee/dessert to make the guest comfortable about doing same, but sometimes I still feel weird about it.

        • I agree with you AIMS. It makes me feel uncomfortable when the host doesn’t order an appetizeeee/coffee/dessert not because of the cost issue but the eating alone issue.

    • Yes – I am the same way. I was recently at a lunchtime board meeting, where we usually pay for ourselves. I ordered what I typically order, only to discover that our board president was paying for everyone. I was so embarrassed, because I would have skipped the drink and the larger entree (to feed this growing baby!) if I’d known someone else was paying. I’d have ordered more modestly and found myself a snack later.

      • Anonymous :

        That’s absurd. Seriously. You do not need to eat less than your fill at a meal because someone else is paying. Be a man. Take up more space.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer :

      Depends on the person. I have one close mentor who makes a point to treat me to things – specifically making me pick a restaurant where I would not go myself. I know the point is to do appies, whatever you want for entrees, wine, dessert. I also know she can afford it ;) I no longer look at prices in that case.

      But otherwise, yes, I try to keep it at least to the ordering pattern of others. There’s a bit of a culture with some people I know where it’s better to be healthy than cheap – so get the expensive salad or poached fish rather than the cheap burger. (i.e. you would get thought of badly for ordering something unhealthy but not for ordering something $10 more than the hosts meal) or to substitute healthy options at a higher cost. So there’s more to following the host than just price, I believe. (Nevermind conventions on drinking, etc.)

      • AnonLawMom :

        This is a really excellent point. In certain areas it would be more awkward to order the cheaper food if it is less healthy than the expensive but healthy options. I’ve definitely been in situations like this where I would have been majorly judged for ordering “down.”

        • Geez, I hope no one judges me for “ordering down” since the vegetarian option is always the least expensive.

  6. Speaking of colder-weather outfits, I’m on the hunt for some fall boots. I’m thinking either a black/brown combo or gray to maximize versatility. Budget is $300. Ideas?

    • EduStudent :

      I’d actually recommend either black or brown, but not in the same boot, to maximize versatility. Since they are both neutrals, I find that they blend with my outfits better when the boot is one color, because two colors makes it more distinctive/more of a statement. And I’d recommend the Sam Edelman Penny or Pembrooke boots (can find at Nordie’s) – I have the Penny in both brown and black, and seriously considered the Pembrooke too (alas, they made the regular width a bit narrower than the Penny and the wide calf is the same, so I’m in between widths :/).

    • I’m ordering these in gray, I’ve worn the brown ones to death for 5+ years and they are super comfortable. They were also my go to boot when pregnant, they’re really that comfortable to wear.
      http://www.garnethill.com/b-c3b8rn-mallory-heeled-boots/shoes-accessories/shoes-boots/boots/216599

  7. Anon for this :

    Negotiating raise/promotion TJ:

    I need a little help on a somewhat complicated situation. I’m expecting an offer from another company in the next week, that will likely include a significant raise and a promotion (of sorts). It’s enough of a change in employer-type and job function, that it doesn’t line up 1:1 with my current employer’s structure. The new opportunity is pretty awesome, but it would involve a life-altering commute (they reached out to me). That said, at least twice a week I consider leaving my current job for a variety of reasons, including the fact that I’m doing different and more junior work than what I thought I would be doing when I joined.

    Due to the commute, though, I would consider staying with my current employer if my job could be changed to be more in line with what I was hired to do. I strongly suspect that my current employer will be willing to work with me to negotiate a retention package. But here’s my question. I don’t know for sure that even with better job responsibilities and better compensation this will turn out to be a good fit for me in the longer run (I also don’t know for sure that it won’t). There are a few other companies I’ve talked to, but nothing concrete has materialized (and likely won’t for several months at least). If I’m able to negotiate a good retention package with my current employer but it still doesn’t work out, how bad would it be if I still end up leaving in 6 months – 1 year? Alternatively, what else would you do in my situation?

    And to clarify, I work for a very large employer, so there is a real possibility that improving my current job situation (either within my group or by moving to a closely related one) would make me go from wanting to cry on my way home every day to really loving what I’m doing…but I’ve been miserable enough here that I’m not certain of that. Hence my dilemma around negotiating a change.

    • Anonymous :

      Take the new job and move. If they were invested in making changes for you they would have done it before there was a threat. Now you’ll be known as a demanding employee with one foot out the door.

      • Anon for this :

        Unfortunately, moving is not a possibility. DH already has a nasty commute, and anything that would improve my commute for this new opportunity would make his a million times worse. We also just completed a remodel to a newly purchased home, so our appetite for moving is about zero.

        As for whether they would have made changes earlier, they probably wouldn’t. Part of why my situation is so bad is that we were reorganized with a major leadership change. My boss has already discussed being amenable to changing my role etc, but the new opportunity will enable me to benchmark specifics (which I think is important to let them know if I would leave otherwise). Several other people have left recently, and they were all offered the opportunity to negotiate retention packages (but didn’t for reasons that make sense to me knowing them).

    • You are in a great position – you can ask for a raise/change in responsibilities now, and if they say “no,” you can just take the other offer and leave. You don’t need to tell your current employer about the other offer at all.

      I am questioning why you never considered asking for the raise/change to begin with if you’re so miserable there – did you ever tell your employer that you wanted X, Y, and Z type of work that you were hired to do? Because if you didn’t, it’s probably because you thought it was going to be futile or impossible to get you in that place at your current place, in which case I don’t see why that would all change for you all of a sudden and they would be able to give you the changes you’ve been wanting all this time.

      Regardless, I would highly recommend that you not take a counteroffer/retention package from your current place. They will likely offer to pay you more, but if you think about what makes you unhappy twice a week, it’s probably not the pay, it’s the job responsibilities and lack of challenges. I hear you on the commute – I went from a 5 minute one to an hour-long one, but being able to actually look forward to going to work is so worth it.

      Congrats on your new offer and I hope you strongly consider it. Significant raises and promotions don’t come along that often and sometimes it requires switching employers to get there.

      • Anon for this :

        It’s already been a discussion with my boss to change my current responsibilities (raise hasn’t come up). That’s still in process, but for understandable reasons it’s taking longer than I really want. This other offer, though, could expedite that (and set a raise benchmark).

        I should also add that my reluctance to have a nasty commute is mostly driven by having an infant at home. I don’t get the first year of her life back for any amount of money. But SAHP’ing is also not for me as I learned during my ML.

        • Anonymous :

          But clearly it isn’t a deal breaker or you wouldn’t have applied?

          • Anon for this :

            They recruited me. But no, it’s not a deal breaker if I can negotiate options to work from home etc.

        • I wrote a longer response but it got erased after I was scolded a few times for “posting too soon.” So frustrating.

          I get it – I have 3 young children myself. Can you ask the new employer if you can work from home 1 or 2 days a week? That would make the commute easier for you. Also, it if because you have an infant at home that you need to love your job even more and not be unhappy about it twice a week! Unless you need the money, the only reason to work out of the home is so you can be a happier person = happier mom. If work is making you unhappy, you will likely feel more torn about the tradeoff of being a working mom.

          I take such a strong position here because employers who need to be pushed to give you the pay and responsibilities are just not good employers. Say they “give in” this one time and give you a relocation bonus and eventually give you more responsibilities. You will feel like you are not in a position to ask for more things right away, even though you are at the baseline of what you were hoping for in the first place, and the employer will think you’re hard to please. Not a great situation.

          • Middle Coast :

            I’ve learned to select and copy my text before posting, just in case I become the the victim of “posting to quickly.”

          • Or just keep hitting the refresh button (no need to copy/paste).

            Which I had to do with this comment…

    • AnonLawMom :

      I’d go to current employer and say what you want without mentioning the other offer. You want to be sure that any changes they make to accomodate you are a result of them valuing you, etc. and not a reaction to an offer (which they will quickly forget once you have turned down the offer). If you don’t get what you want, I’d move on.

  8. Rainy day :

    I’m having a rough day. My dog is not doing well and I know our days are limited. I’m going away soon and my cases are blowing up. I had a fun after work activity to look forward to but it is rained out. I’m the type of person that feels better talking it out and commiserating but the people I work with have much worse personal problems going on that I can’t act like anything is wrong with me. I have a coworker with a dying spouse. This coworker works in the office next to mine. This coworker manages to come to work most days though and get the job done leaving emotions at home. I can’t imagine my coworker hearing me lament my dog’s arthritis so I’m keeping it to myself. I just feel like a jerk behind closed doors choking back tears while others are losing spouses/parents/themselves all around me. I also just realized what a toll it is taking on me to have so many people in my close knit office dealing with personal tragedies at the same time. No need to respond. I just wanted to “say it” somewhere.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m really, really sorry about your dog. I agree with you on not bring it up with coworkers going through more serious crises, but I’m really, really sorry that you are going through this. I support giving your pet as many “perfect days” as you can in the time you have left and trying to just use work to keep your mind off the awful of it.

    • Hey, your pain is real, even if someone has it worse. You don’t have to apologize for it. You would never say to your co-worker whose spouse is dying, “Well at least your child isn’t dying” would you? (I hope not!) That might not be the best person to go to with a lengthy vent, but I think it’s perfectly ok to say to other co-workers something along the lines of, “I’m having a rough day/week because my beloved dog isn’t doing well, and I know his time is limited.”

      And, I’m sorry. The end of a pet’s life is very hard.

      • I agree with this. I’ve been that coworker who “had it worse,” and while sometimes it was hard to understand someone crying over something “lesser” than my own loss, I eventually came to learn that grief is grief – and its silly to compare it or rank it in some way. Most people realize that others’ pain doesn’t stop just because they are experiencing a major loss. It’s perfectly acceptable to share you’re having a rough week, but I agree that avoiding a long, drawn-out conversation with someone who is contemplating the death of a spouse would be compassionate.

        I’m very sorry about your dog. Our four-legged friends play such an important role in our lives and parting with them is so difficult.

    • hoola hoopa :

      I’m so sorry about your dog. I hope your remaining time together is the best it can be.

    • Rainy day :

      My rainy day just got a little brighter after speaking with my vet. She doesn’t think the end is as near as I thought it was and gave us some stronger drugs to try. She reminded me that while my dog was showing pain yesterday, most of the time she isn’t that bad and one real bad day doesn’t mean all her days are that bad.

      Thanks for all of your kind thoughts!

      • Day late…but if you haven’t already, consider consulting a holistic vet. There are many treatment options that typical vets don’t always consider. Cold laser therapy, acupuncture, and other therapies may be options for your pet. Holistic vets may also help you find additional remedies, some Rx and some not. I’m not discouraging Western medicine, but I like a vet who considers all the options.

        Hope your pup feels better this weekend.

  9. maternity leggings :

    Mom-ish question, but I’m asking here because I’d appreciate input from non-parents.

    I’m pregnant with my third child and while this is not my first pregnancy, I’m feeling out how maternity clothing style has changed since my older children. Leggings appear to now be maternity wardrobe basics, and I’m wondering if I can get away with them at work. My office is casual: jeans and a nice t shirt or casual top are common. In the fall and winter (when I’ll primarily be wearing maternity clothes), I typically wear skinny jeans and boots with a nice but informal top or dresses with tights and fit right in. Leggings have never been part of my work wardrobe, although I’ve seen one or two people wear them in our office of ~200 ppl.

    Are leggings appropriate for a casual (jeans and t shirt) office as maternity wear? If so, what specifically would make an outfit with leggings appropriate vs not appropriate? (ie, shirt length?)

    For example, are either or both of these outfit ideas appropriate for a casual office?
    1) Black leggings, tall boots, tank that falls below hip (covers bum), drapey blouse that falls to hip, open front cardigan.
    2) Black leggings, short boots or flats, knit maternity dress with sleeves, scarf or statement necklace.

    • I think both of those outfits sound completely appropriate for a casual office. With leggings, it’s all about the length of the top.

    • Orangerie :

      I am firmly in the camp of leggings are never pants, but pregnant women seem to get so many passes re: work attire… so go for it if you want to. Just make sure your top covers your behind.

    • Anonymous :

      I think you need more than a tank over your bumb for work. For a jeans office I think you can likely get away with maternity leggings, but you need 100% of your bumb covered with real clothes.

      • maternity leggings :

        I’m short, so long tanks do cover my entire bum. The loose blouse would not entirely cover. To be clear, they would be layered. So is that enough by your definition of “real clothes”?

        I can’t tell if “real clothes” means something more than the leggings or something more than a tank. If it’s something more than a tank, then why isn’t a tank or t shirt enough? Serious question, not debate. I’m trying to feel out the rules / comfort zone.

        • Orangerie :

          I don’t think a tank that isn’t completely covered by something looser works because it’s still tight material on the outline of your behind. Covering your entire behind for work doesn’t mean swathing it in something that still shows every contour… that’s why most people are suggesting a loose tunic or dress on top.

          • Anonymous :

            Exactly my point. A tunic covering your bumb is fine. A tank is not. You’re already pushing it by wearing leggings.

          • maternity leggings :

            Makes sense! Thanks.

        • Is Anonymous misspelling bum or talking about the baby bump?

          • Anonymous :

            Nah I just strongly feel that bumb is a way more fun spelling. The 2 b’s frame the “um” just like the two cheeks of the butt frame the . . .

          • …..what…?

    • Diana Barry :

      I would do leggings + dress if your workplace is casual. Definitely NOT top + leggings. Has to be a dress.

      • Agree with this — and this is what I did when I was pregnant. I think you can also wear tunics that reach to mid-thigh (which for me would be shorter than I would wear a dress, but still much closer to dress than shirt length).

      • +1 – I never gave into the leggings craze, although my office is a bit more business casual (no jeans) than yours. I think the tricky thing about leggings and a top is that as you grow, those tops will get shorter and shorter, so what hits your hip or covers your bum in your second trimester will be showing way more than you want in your third. For me, if my blouse/dress/tunic doesn’t hit mid-thigh (with leggings), it would be too short.

    • Frustrated Academic :

      Yes, both outfits sound fine to me. The last two months of my pregnancy, I wore leggings with long sweaters\maternity dresses\shirts, etc. As long as my bum was covered I was good. The polar vortex combined with pregnancy made leggings plus long sweaters my go to look last winter.

    • Old Navy has pretty good ponte leggings that fill the “very slim comfy pants” niche in the wardrobe without looking like they are spray painted on, or exposing every last detail of one’s anatomy.

    • My rule is if you bend over to pick something up, your bum should still be fully covered by your shirt/blouse/tunic/dress/top.

      • Meg Murry :

        Or if you reach your arms over your head. Personally, I’m willing to do skirt + leggings, but I’ve never found leggings as pants to work for me – but maybe if they could also be described as “thick knit pants” not “slightly thicker than tights”.

    • Maddie Ross :

      I think this sounds fine for the dress code at your office. And I wouldn’t worry about the tank being the only thing covering your bum. Honestly, so long as you’re wearing thick leggings (which in my experience, most maternity ones were), I am really joining the camp of – they aren’t that much more revealing than some pants. Jump all over me if you want, but so long as they are ponte or thick, I’m starting to be ok with the leggings (true leggings — not tights) as pants look.

      • Anonymous :

        At work. Leggings. As pants. At work.

        What’s next? A skort? Rompers?

        • A pregnant woman in a casual office wouldn’t get a second glance in the outfits described above. Heck, our managing partner in a biz-casual law firm wears leggings and a tunic on jeans Fridays.

        • Anonymous :

          Perhaps you could accept that a) not everyone works at the same office and different attire is appropriate at different offices (a romper is perfectly appropriate for my friend who is an editorial assistant at a fashion magazine, for example) and b) when you don’t fit into your current clothes and it’s a short term thing, people will cut you a break.

          Signed, someone who is wearing leggings at pants at work at a SV tech company, and three other women in her row are doing the same.

          • Kontraktor :

            This. I wear my heavy ponte Talbots leggings with seams down the front all the time on Fridays (and maybe even other days). I wear with long chunky sweaters, drapey tunic blouses and even regular silk blouses and blazers. I think I look fine and it’s all about your office (and also leggings in this case, I feel like heavy ponte leggings aren’t exactly the same thing as nearly-see through cheapy tights type leggings). Our office is generally casual to ‘dress up when needed,’ we have people who show up in light jeans and flip flops in IT…

    • Need to Improve :

      Totally ok in your work environment if the top covers your a$$. I work in a business casual law firm and I wore them on Fridays (jeans day) with nice flats and a long top like a big, drapey sweater. The later in pregnancy you are, the more “free passes” you seem to get.

  10. Reposting for more responses. Any recs for pet insurance? We have an accident prone puppy that also likes to eat things that are not food. Given her track record, I don’t think saving the $25 monthly will give us enough of a fund!

    • Anonymous :

      I have a Trupanion policy for my dog. Before I settled on this one, I also checked VPI and Petsbest. My brother is a vet and recommended reading the fine print on each carrier to see if they have breed specific, hereditary, or congential exclusions. (I have a purebred and that’s how we ended up with Trupanion; no exclusions except for pre-existing conditions.) For what it’s worth, I like the one I settled on but (knock on wood) have not had to submit any claims. We keep the deductible high since it’s basically for a true emergency, not routine care. Hope that helps!

    • Bewitched :

      I have VPI. Within two weeks (yes, two weeks) of getting the insurance, our dog ran away and was nicked by a car. No major injuries but one cut needed suturing and assorted other vet costs. VPI paid promptly with 0 hassle. We renewed this year. My friend’s dog ate a towel and needed surgery without pet insurance-it was several thousand dollars. For reference, we have basic VPI. I think it costs about $250/year, but has a $250 deductible. Our pet’s accident care was about $600, so we got a check for $350. So, we basically broke even when you consider what we paid for the insurance, given his minor injuries but we still consider the peace of mind well worth it. Our prior pup had a neurological condition where they recommended a $2000 cat scan!

    • Anonymous :

      I have Pet Plan. The others that I saw come up frequently were Trupanion, VPI, and Embrace. I read a lot of reviews on sites for my breed, and felt comfortable with Pet Plan because it had by far the largest market share (based on the users of the breed boards I follow) and had great reviews from that large customer base. The others had great reviews too, just not as many, and were more expensive.

      It seemed like most of the people who went with the one of the other 3 did it because (1) it ended up cheaper through a workplace benefit, or (2) in the case of at least one of those alternatives, because the reviewers were willing to pay more for an annual deductible (Pet Plan is a per-condition deductible, so if you have an injury and then follow-up visits related to that, it’s all one deductible, but giardia in May and stitches for a cut in July will require separate deductibles). Definitely up to you which way you prefer it–lower premiums or predictable max per year.

  11. McGiggles :

    Hi ladies – I will be visiting Charlotte, SC for four days in September. Staying in the historic district downtown any recs on what to do, where to eat, etc? Will not be driving anywhere but okay with cabs? TIA!

    • Charlotte, NC? Or Charleston, SC?

    • Anon Worker Bee :

      I love Slightly North of Broad (S.N.O.B.)!

    • Sweet knee :

      There is a great breakfast restaurant called Toast. Had an awesome bacon vodka Bloody Mary there. if you have time go by Charleston Cooks for a southern cooking class or demonstration.

    • I loved 82 Queen and the fried chicken at Magnolia’s. I’ve heard great things about Husk but haven’t been.

  12. I need to find a new winter coat before the winter weather hits. I tried to get something last year, but could not find anything that hit all the points on my list:
    – wool or cashmere (or blend), soft to the touch
    – single-breasted
    – knee-length
    – collared
    – no weird ruffles or extra buckles

    I feel like what I’m looking for is classic, but everything I found last winter was scratchy, short, complicated, or all of the above. And I know there’s love for the Lady Day in these parts, but I tried one last year and found the fabric cheap-feeling for the price. Anyone want to take on a shopping challenge? I’m good for up to $600, but $200-300 is better. Size 8, cool colors, open to patterns.

    TIA!

    • TO Lawyer :

      I think coats at aritzia would fit your criteria but they generally only come in basic colours i.e. black, grey, camel, cream. I will post a few links in reply

      • TO Lawyer :

        http://aritzia.com/en/bromley-wool-coat/48553.html?dwvar_48553_color=1621

      • TO Lawyer :

        This one is nice too but a little more casual: http://aritzia.com/en/pearce-wool-coat/39686.html?dwvar_39686_color=1274

      • TO Lawyer :

        http://aritzia.com/en/cocoon-wool-coat/48560.html?dwvar_48560_color=2398

    • LL Bean Classic Lambswool Polo Coat, Three-Quarter. Also check out Land’s End. I have a coat from there that fits the bill, although the wool is a little scratchier than I’d like.

    • The J Crew Lady Day sounds like it’s up your alley. It’s hard knit, but that means it doesn’t pill and it’s not scratchy, so it’s not “soft” but not itchy. Boden also has some super-cute coats in their just-released catalog, but most of them seem like Fall/transitional, not full winter coats….

    • I just received one during this week and absolutely love it: http://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/78460?feat=504735-GN3&page=classic-lambswool-duffel-coat

    • Emerson Fry had gorgeous coats last year.

  13. Little Red :

    This Burberry coat is seriously nice but for a bit more money I could get a more custom-made Katherine Hooker coat. Besides, I don’t know that I want a black coat for winter plus a funnel necks tend to not be flattering to me. There’s a red one from Brooks Brothers for around $900 that would be more flattering to me than this one.

    • And then, bonus, you get to tell anyone who compliments you that you’re wearing your hooker coat!

  14. Visiting Asia :

    I’m going from the US to Singapore soon, and am wondering what’s a good gift for some 30-something women friends. Is there anything US-made that you don’t get in Asia anymore? I’d like it to be both compact and cute – so something like jewelry, or a cosmetics/skincare gift set in a nice brand would be good.
    But I do think that both jewelry and cosmetics (all the big brands) are easily available and probably for cheaper in Asia. I’m not too keen on doing edibles (unless really unique) or city-specific souvenirs like t-shirts etc. Any ideas?

    • Need to Improve :

      Wine

    • West Coast :

      I don’t remember there being a lot of things I couldn’t get in Asia when I expat-ed there. I am actually much more aware of the things could get there and can’t here.

      The only things that are coming to mind that I used to ask people to bring:
      – American Apparel camisoles and t-shirts
      – bikinis from my favorite lines
      – kitschy American flag wear… you don’t think to bring any, then everyone asks why you aren’t wearing any on the 4th of July over there.
      – a couple bottles of nice Napa valley wines, but check customs rules.

    • Anon for this :

      I’m not sure if this is too late, I am from Singapore. Most major American brands, including cosmetic brands, (we have Sephora here), can be found in Singapore but they are much more expensive, about at least 30% more. People here still often end up stocking up when they go abroad or ordering online (which can still be cheaper even with shipping charges). As an almost 30-something woman, even if I can get it here, I would not mind receiving a cosmetics gift set since they’re so expensive in Singapore. If your friends are into organic stuff, that might be nice as we don’t get too many organic brands in Singapore and they are (you guessed it) expensive.

      Wine is also a good idea since it’s (you guessed it again) super expensive here too..just take note of the import limit or you’ll have to pay taxes on them at customs, though taxes are really not that much. My husband does this all the time.

      If your friends like bagels, that is a fun option because good bagels are nowhere to be found in Singapore. Or maybe some nice American gourmet chocolate.

      Offnote – You might be noticing a theme here, Singapore has become very pricey over the last 5 years or so and many of my American friends get sticker-shock when they visit so be prepared for that!

      Hope this helps!

      • West Coast :

        OMG, yes, bagels!!!! I totally missed bagels, and really good roast beef.

    • I live in Singapore and love to buy clothes online from the US. Even if I pay full price, they are still cheaper than the same things in Singapore. Ditto for cosmetics and shoes.

  15. Please oh please do a “hunt” for black/charcoal wool winter coats appropriate for professional women! I would spend around $500 for something single b r e a s t e d with no weird acoutrements like leather epaulettes, faux fur collars, zippers, pleather, tie belts, leather straps across the neck (I’m lookin at you Ralph), swing style, puffy sleeves, muppet-skin fabric, sparkles, chains, etc. Just a plain, nice, 3/4 length boring coat.

  16. Burberry is a bit out of my league. But thanks for starting to post fall looks! I need to invest on a new trench and would love to see some options here.

    • I really like the banana republic classic trench coat. Its not water proof, but its a good, solid, classic piece, and if you can get it on one of their 40% off days its totally worth every penny.

  17. Burberry is way out of my league…at least there’s really affordable, nice fall stuff out there right now.But thanks for sharing such a nice plus size option!

    For anyone interested, I just posted 6 amazing work shoes for under $75 on my blog.

  18. Just wanted to say that I bought this coat at the Bloomingdale F&F sale last year and it was totally worth it! It looks so polished and sophisticated, the fabric is soft and warm, and (being tall) I like that it’s long enough to go below my knees. It’s definitely pricey but looks and feels more expensive than my J. Crew wool coats. I highly recommend if anyone is in the market for a classic coat to wear for years!

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