Book Excerpt: Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It

Nice Girls Just Don't Get It: 99 Ways to Win the Respect You Deserve, the Success You've Earned, and the Life You Want I know many readers are huge fans of Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Business Plus)(affectionately known among commenters as NGDGTCO). I’ll be honest here: I haven’t read it yet myself! But I knew enough to sit up and take notice when the author, Lois P. Frankel, PhD, emailed me personally to see if we would be interested in running an excerpt of her new book, Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It: 99 Ways to Win the Respect You Deserve, the Success You’ve Earned, and the Life You Want (coauthored with Carol Frohlinger, JD).

This excerpt is on a topic near and dear to my heart: people who don’t write or speak in brief, to-the-point messages. One of my biggest pet peeves is having to weed through someone’s email message or voicemail to get to what they want, what the answer is, or what they’re trying to sell me. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Excerpt of NICE GIRLS JUST DON’T GET IT

Readers, what were some of your biggest take-aways from NGDGTCO?  What do you think the best way is to craft meaningful messages to people?

Dealing with Anxiety (Post-Interview Or Otherwise)

interview-anxietyReader M had a question about post-interview anxiety, something I notice coming up in the comment threads a lot…

I had a second round interview this week, and I’m waiting to hear back. The job is working in-house for a big company. Their legal team is spread throughout their offices, so my first interview was with HR, then my second interview was with their VP Legal Counsel and another Senior Counsel attorney. I think it went well, but I’m so anxious. My first question is what to do with anxiety while waiting to hear back about a job? My second question is if anyone has stories from successful interviews that might shed light on whether or not it went well.

The wonderful thing about interviewing for jobs outside your own company is that they have no idea what a stressball you may be after the interview. (Of course, for jobs inside the company you have to keep your cool, which is even tougher — but hopefully less stress-inducing given that you can “read” the personalities better and they know you better.) There are two interesting questions here: what to do to ease anxiety, and how to know if an interview went well.  I’ll take the second one first.

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How I Use Remember The Milk

Remember the MilkI’ve posted before of my love for Remember the Milk, but it’s come up in two separate conversations I had recently, so I thought I’d post on it again.

As a reminder, this is a free, web-based application, and it e-mails you when your “due date” is up.   (You can also check items off it before the due date, and e-mail it “to dos” from your Blackberry — it’s also available as a free “app” on the iPhone and Android, I believe).  I head there at least 4-5 times a week for the following kinds of things:

a) Online purchases – If, say, you’ve done a lot of online buying recently (cough, cough — great sales, I swear!) — then this can be handy to remember what you think is arriving in the mail, as well as by when.  (Or am I the only one who returns home sometimes to be surprised by a delivery of clothes I hadn’t remembered ordering?)  If I remember, I’ll also add “return by” dates as separate to-dos… and if I actually do return something I try to generally ballpark a date (yet another task) by when I should have received the refund on my credit card.

b) Group Coupons - If you’re a fan of the group-buying sites, it can be a total pain to remember what restaurants / spa treatments / etc. you’ve got discounts for, and by when those coupons/vouchers/discounts expire. Enter Remember the Milk…  I just throw everything in the bucket and it reminds me what deals are about to expire, by when.  (If you’re curious what group-buying sites I’m a member of (and want invite codes), click here — there are so, so many! And really good deals.  (In fact, the deals are SO good that Business Insider recently(ish) opined that “there are now so many daily deals for these services that anyone who lives in a major city and pays full price for a massage is being lazy and financially irresponsible.”))

c) Expirations - I blogged about this before, but I really do use it to remind myself of expirations — just in the past few months I’ve been reminded that some prescription eye drops went bad, and that I should really use that quinoa I bought a zillion years ago.  (I made a ton of “pork-fried rice” with it, using healthier ingredients, and froze it for later eating.)

d) Paperless Bills -  If, like me, you’ve switched a lot of your bills away from the paper statements (and, like me, you get a zillion emails a day and those reminders tend to get lost in the shuffle), this program can be really helpful.  For some, it’s because we forget to pay them without the reminder (like, say, my husband’s student loans); for others it’s because we want to make sure we have enough money in the account for an automatic payment (like, say, the mortgage).

e) Blogging -  For blogging purposes, I also use it to remind myself of great things I’ve seen while shopping/researching something on line and might want to post about it later. (I’ve found that for this blog, most of the posts are difficult to write far in advance because a lot of the products sell out or have drastically reduced quantities by the time I see something, and I do make best efforts to blog about things with lots of sizes in stock.) (It’s also a good “test” — I liked it then, do I like it now also?)

In terms of HOW I use it — I tend to type one sentence reminders in the text box, trying to remind myself of two dates: the date the item ACTUALLY expires, and the date I want to be reminded of it. So I’ll type something like this:  “use Scoop Street 50% off coupon at B. Smith’s near W.46 – expires 10/30/2011 – due 9.1.2011″  — it reminds me of the important things (which site I have to go to for the voucher, where the restaurant is, when the coupon expires, and when I want to be reminded of it.  RTM will automatically convert that “due 9/1/2011″ phrase to a deadline.  (You can also say things like “due tuesday” or “due four tuesdays from now,” and the program will figure it out.)

Here’s a screencap of my main page:

Remember the Milk

Readers, do you have a handy to-do program? How do you remember some of the dates/tasks I’ve outlined above?

Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
Pictured: Mikasa “True Blue” Espresso Cup/Saucer, available at Macys.com for $16 (was $23).

Poll Results: Not many will admit to napping, even though it’s good for you!

Wow — in what was one of our most unpopular polls ever, we asked last week whether people nap at the office and whether they have a system to it.  The poll is still open, but the initial results were split pretty much in thirds:

- 32% said that yes, you had napped at the office more than once

- 30% denied ever napping

- 38% said they’d only napped once and weren’t proud of it.

As various articles report, napping for just 20 minutes can increase your productivity by clearing your mind’s clutter, as well as improving memory, stamina, and motor skills.  One article even weighs the different benefits of naps lasting anywhere from 2 seconds to 90 minutes.  Some companies are even installing “sleep pods” to help their workers recharge:

http://www.healthylivingnyc.com/article/123

Some articles to consider, if you’re not currently napping:

Photo credit:  Cat nap, originally uploaded to Flickr by Mr. Miyagi. Note that there’s actually a difference between a cat nap (which one does on a lazy Sunday) and a power nap (which one might do at your office).

Tool of the Trade: Remember the Milk

In this feature, we’ll explore one tool that makes the busy woman’s life easier in some small way.

Every busy woman’s got a growing pile of things to do — immediate things to do at home and at the office. Things to do at some point in the future (update the resume, congratulate Theresa and Ben on their 5-year anniversary, get vacation photos printed). It helps to corral these things into a list. Really! We’ve unfortunately left our copy of Getting Things Done, by David Allen, at home, but there’s a lovely passage in it where he talks about how all these tiny things that must be done nag at your brain, tugging at your conscious (and subconscious) mind until you’re exhausted, worrying about all the things that need to be done. His solution (which we’ve found really does help) is to write EVERYTHING down. Build a system, and trust the system.

We’ve been fine with using Outlook for office tasks, but we truly love using Remember The Milk for personal tasks. Some great things about it:

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