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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 178 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Pencil Dress with Kimono Wrap Detail

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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ASOS Pencil Dress with Kimono Wrap Detail | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Reader E wrote in to recommend this dress, saying: “I just got this dress from ASOS (in the green) in the mail and I'm really liking it. I'm wearing it today for work under a blazer and with an opera length necklace which definitely dresses it up enough for a business casual office. But without a blazer it would be fine for a slightly more casual office or a brunch or baby shower or something like that. I'm 5'3″ and it reaches right to my knees so there's a chance it might be a little short for tall people. Oh — and I laugh that they call this sleeve design ‘kimono wrap' because I think it's just because they don't want to say ‘looks kind of like a bathrobe but in a totally good way.' Oh, and the fabric is the kind of poly-blend meant to imitate silk [best way I can describe it] but it's lined so that it doesn't cling too much.)” The dress is available at ASOS for $79 in green, black, and orange. ASOS Pencil Dress with Kimono Wrap Detail Here's a plus-size pick in a pretty green. Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected].

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

    • Wanderlust

      Do you think this would work with a tummy pooch? It looks like it ties right above the tummy.

    • ReaderE

      This was my recommendation. The sleeves are probably a little less voluminous then they look here and they slid into the sleeves of my blazer just fine, making the dress look like a more traditional wrap dress.

      As for the tummy pooch question above, I’m not sure what you mean about “work with” – it does tie above the stomach, but it is drapy enough that I didn’t feel it particularly emphasized my tummy.

  3. Anon for this

    Pre-coffee request. Since y’all are the best at gift suggestions, I figured I’d come here. I’m trying to help a coworker think up gift ideas for his wife’s 30th. He’s throwing a big party, plus they had twins within the past year, so he’s trying to think of some more ‘budget friendly’ gift ideas.

    Initially, I think he was leaning towards fine jewelry, but he 1) realized that his wife doesn’t wear the few nice pieces she has, and 2) is looking for more creative ideas. Budget is under $200 ish. Timeline is 1 week.

    I suggested one of those monogram necklaces with your family’s initials on it… Any other ideas?

    • YouSaucyMinx

      A few ideas: A nice handbag, Perfume she’s been eyeing, A little camera to capture the twins’ daily moments ( like a small digital camera for stills or a small video camera like a bloggie)

    • Anon

      I’d go to a wine store and buy two bottles:

      A nice one to drink now
      One to cellar for 10 years and drink then (so you need to talk to a person and ask)

    • buffybot

      Can you get a family photo package for $200ish? (I know wedding photography is in the thousands, but don’t know anything about pricing for other kinds of photo shoots.)

      Or, as an alternative to the monogram necklace, he could do the birthstones of the twins (I hear that’s a thing now.)

    • Meg Murry

      She has 2 kids under 1? A night at a hotel room where she can get a full night’s sleep – either the day before the party, the day after or on her actual birthday.

      A place that is spa-like where she can get a massage, facial or pedicure would be a nice extra piece to this, and maybe her closest friend to join her, but otherwise the best gift I ever got as a new mom was a night off where I could read a book, drink some wine, have a bubble bath and a good nights sleep!

      • Anon in NYC

        +1. My friend recently took her first overnight trip away from her kids (3 and 1) that was not work-related. She and her husband got to sleep in (she was thrilled about waking up at 8 and bragged that she laid in bed until 9), they had a fancy (and leisurely) lunch, and they got to do things at their own pace. She said it was wonderful.

    • Alice

      Would he be open to experiential gifts? I.e., send her off for a massage or spa treatment or similar, while childcare is taken care of and he cleans and cooks?

      What about a really nice, luxurious, beautiful bathrobe? Or a nice watch?

    • Anonymous

      Honestly? Something that demonstrates he has any knowledge or interest in what his wife likes! Does she have hobbies? Interests? Hopes? Dreams? Something that shows he’s been paying attention to who she is.

      Or, ya know, a cashmere robe.

    • AIMS

      A colleague’s husband got her 40 gifts for her 40th which, I thought, was very sweet. They also have small kids and most of the gift were very budget friendly (sparkly nail polish, arts & crafts, favorite movie, CD, book, PJs, etc.). This is definitely a know your recipient kind of gift but I thought it was really thoughtful and she loved it. It would certainly be easier to do with a 30th bday.

      Something spa like would also probably be appreciated.

    • Anon

      One year for Valentine’s Day, my husband got a box of those little valentine cards schoolkids give each other and wrote one thing he loved about me on every card. It was one of the most wonderful gifts I ever received. Maybe a glass jar with 30 little pieces of paper with things he loves about her or happy memories?

    • anon for this

      Thanks so much y’all!

      I shared some suggestions with my office mate and he really likes the idea of getting her a really luxurious bathrobe and slipping either a spa or hotel gift card in the pocket.

      These suggestions were right on point. Also, in his defense, he mentioned that he’s gotten her hobby related stuff and that most of the items that she has mentioned really wanting weren’t quite ‘special’ enough (new yoga pants, a new spoon rest for the kitchen, etc.). I know he’s open to experiential gifts because a pre-baby birthday/holiday gift to her was bringing her to Harry Potter World- she was thrilled!

  4. anonymous

    I love it too. What a beautiful green color! i may have to order it now…

    • Baconpancakes

      It seems weird to congratulate someone on that, but I know it’s a good thing for you, and I’m really glad it’s in the works, so congratulations!

      But I thought you were the one filing for the divorce?

    • Senior Attorney

      Wow! Looks like that means he intends to go on the offense, so make sure you and your lawyer are ready! The good news is it means things are now underway.

      How are things going?

    • Rogue Banker

      One step closer to getting through this mess! Congrats and know we’re rooting for you. ♥

    • OCAssociate

      Hugs! It seems like you’re well prepared for this. Fingers crossed that it goes as quickly as possible. You and your daughter are going to be in a much better situation soon.

      I’ve been thinking of you and considered emailing, but didn’t want to intrude on your privacy. Hopefully it helps for you to know that you’ve got this community behind you and supporting you.

  6. DC Therapists?

    A very close family member of mine is looking to do both couples therapy with her fiance, as well as individual therapy. Was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for therapists in the DC area (preferably NoVa, bonus if they are of Asian descent as there are some cultural issues at play here and at least for the couples portion it might make them more open to hearing the advice).

    Also wondering if in general anyone has experience with this? Is it customary for her to get 2 different therapists or use the same one for both? I can see how issues would arise in both scenarios. It’s important to her to receive both individual and couples counseling.

    All thoughts welcome! Love her dearly and want to see her in good hands!

    • Anonymous

      I’ll plug the VTech graduate program in marriage and family therapy in Falls Church. The therapists are all grad students and are being observed (during sessions) by their professors. You get the benefit of new techniques, they’re sensitive to cultural issues, and it’s a very inexpensive sliding rate scale that is capped (we were able to see individual therapists for the same capped rate for one).

    • Idea

      2 different therapists is best, due to confidentiality issues and such. But, i guess that’s a question to ask a therapist!

      Very, very common!

      • Katie

        I can recommend Capitol Hill Consortium for Counseling. I went to them for individual therapy, but they also offer therapy for couples and families. They’re right off the Eastern Market metro and had convenient hours, and my therapist even agreed to occasional phone appointments when I was traveling for work and couldn’t be there in person.

      • DC Therapists?

        I said Asian because I mean Asian. Aware of its size. Aware of its diversity. I have my reasons for phrasing it the way that I did.

  7. d

    My in-laws have purchased whole life insurance policies for my infant and toddler daughters–I’m wondering what the benefits to doing this are? I know generally whole-life is not looked highly upon. The same insurance agent who sold to my in-laws is now aggressively marketing to us.

    • anonymous

      I think a lot of people buy whole life insurance policies because there’s a guaranteed payout whenever you die, but usually you pay in way more than you’ll ever get out. some people try to use them to “save for their kids’ college,” but there are much better places to save/invest if that’s the goal.

      Personally, I don’t think there are benefits and it makes very little sense to sell life insurance to children. It’s a play to your emotions.

    • Anon

      The purpose of life insurance is to cover a person’s contributions to a family in case of their death. Children don’t need life insurance. For college savings look into a 529 plan.

      You are right to be suspicious of an aggressive insurance agent. I would stay far away! Look into a fee-based financial planner if you want some unbiased advice, or maybe to send your in-laws to since it sounds like they are vulnerable to scams.

      • Regular here but anon for this

        +1,000,000. Red flags are being waved. Beware of aggressive insurance agents. I’m not currently in the business, but I do maintain a license in California and can only say that an ethical agent will not lead with selling whole life policies for children and then market to the breadwinners, who are the ones who need insurance. In most cases the least expensive term policy for the breadwinner(s) will do the job.

    • mascot

      Some of the common arguments for child life insurance are to ensure future insurability, cover costs (god-forbid) related to the loss of child such funeral expenses and time off work, and possible recoupment of lost savings in college funds.

      • Anon

        Any more than funeral expenses seems creepy (and I don’t do this for my children).

        Insurability is not really an issue until they are >18 and working (and even then, not a big deal unless their loss of income affects someone else). By that time, they probably can get a group policy through work at group rates (so insurability doesn’t matter).

        I don’t think you can convert kid whole life policies into something that would replace an adult’s income at anything other than risk-weighted rates (so they may keep the 10K or 20K but probably couldn’t get anything signicant (income * years of coverage needed)).

      • kc

        +1 My parents had insurance on all 3 of us to cover funeral costs and time off work. Funerals are expensive, even for children. I cashed it out when I was older and got my own life insurance policy. Disclaimer though all of my family works in insurance, so the cost was minimal.

        • Maddie Ross

          This. I had no idea my parents had it (it was pretty minimal really), until I was an adult and they offered to cash it out for me to cover some large, unexpected bills. My parents are super in to savings though, so I think they just looked at it as yet another savings vehicle.

          • kc

            Yup. I think I got like $900 when I cashed it out. Life insurance is there so you don’t have to stress about bills when you are simultaneously grieving.

          • Must Be Tuesday

            My parents did the same, and just transferred it over to me recently.

    • LilyStudent

      I would go for critical illness cover as that can absolutely wreck a family.

    • Froggerz

      It ensures future insurability, regardless of any future circumstances. This is important. It’s also not a bad alternative savings route. I know someone who’s grandparents gifted it to them at 18. It would have been a nice chunk of change if they had chosen to cash it out at that point c

      • tesyaa

        I don’t think it ensures future insurability for any more than the original policy is worth. And if the child doesn’t convert the original policy at the time of maturity, it doesn’t ensure the right to anything at all.

      • Meg Murry

        Yes, the one point our insurance rep always mentioned is that she got it for her kids when they were young, and then her daughter developed Type 1 diabetes – which means that she will never be able to buy insurance on her own, or if she does it will be really ridiculously expensive, so the plan they got her as a kid is the only one she’ll ever be able to have.

        That still didn’t convince us to buy it for our kids, though we did add it to the “ways to spend the money if we ever get a major unexpected inheritance or lottery winnings”.

        • tesyaa

          Again – if she has a $5,000 or $10,000 juvenile policy, that’s probably the maximum life insurance she’ll be able to buy. For an uninsurable adult, it’s better than nothing (I guess), but nothing like the amount an adult will need to replace a salary or a replacement for the work of a SAHP.

    • NYNY

      My grandparents bought my siblings and me whole life policies when we were born. If I were uninsurable now, I could still buy additional coverage on the policy. I could also cash out if needed. The interest paid the premiums, so it was really a one-time purchase.

      I would just blow off the aggressive agent and let it ride.

    • L in DC

      The insurance agent is marketing aggressively because whole life policies pay out absolutely absurd commissions (higher than almost any other financial product). I’ve been in the financial industry for 10 years now and whole life insurance is widely regarded as a scam. If you put the same amount of money you would invest in a whole life insurance policy on behalf of your children into a Vanguard index fund instead, and your children turn out to be uninsurable, your children will still have a good chunk of change in savings, especially if they continue to invest the amount that otherwise would have gone into a policy. Of course, the likelihood is that they will not be uninsurable, in which case they will be able to just purchase normal term life insurance when they get to a point in life where they would actually need life insurance (e.g., they have dependents, share a mortgage with a spouse, etc.), and it will be much more advantageous to have savings in a Vanguard index fund than wrapped up in a whole life insurance policy with extremely high expenses that eat up most of the returns, poor investment options, and very high withdrawal penalties if they ever want to take out the money and do something else with it.

  8. Clueless and Fumbling

    I just started dating a guy who I met online. We started meeting in person about once a week for a date or to casually hang out mid October. He has made it pretty clear that we are not boyfriend/girlfriend yet, but rather still feeling each other out. Last night he was at my apartment, and he told me that his birthday was November 30. Question: is it appropriate to get him a gift? Obviously it wouldn’t be some hug romantic gesture, but what is appropriate a $20 gift? a $50 gift? Any suggestions? I was thinking about maybe trying to find an old Beatles Record, his favorite band, and framing it, but I don’t know if that is personal enough.

    • Anonymous

      How much time and effort do you want to put into a guy who has “made it clear he is not my boyfriend?”

      I’d buy him a drink, say Happy Birthday, and save relationship level efforts for when I’m in a relationship.

      • Hildegarde

        Yeah, I would just buy him a drink or maybe take him out to dinner on his birthday, but I wouldn’t get a gift for someone I was casually, non-exclusively dating.

      • Anonymous Poser

        He made it clear that you are not boyfriend/girlfriend…? Are you both on the same page with that? I agree with earlier commenters that your idea sounds more like the sort of gift someone would give to someone with whom they are in a relationship. I appreciate your wanting to recognize his birthday…I’m wondering how the topic came up….

        • Clueless and Fumbling

          If you are wondering about how exclusivity came up, it was because I felt like I was getting mixed messages. E.G. wanting me to sleep (like physically fall asleep not have an evening garden party) with him, yet literally never making any moves; At different times making moves on me and the immediately afterwards saying he wanted to slow things down.

          I think we are now on the same page as far as wanting to feel each other out more and build a personal connection before committing to anything, and overall the DTR talk went well.

          The birthday came up because I was poking fun at him being a whopping three years older (robbing the cradl, harharhar, etc.) than I am, and he mentioned it was about to be four.

      • 2 Cents

        I second that. The framed Beatles album sounds “boyfriend” to me and too serious. If you felt like you had to give him something, a bottle of whatever he likes to drink for $20 sounds good — not too personal and not too “I know you like a GF.”

        *unsolicited advice* If you want to be in a relationship, then DTMFA and find someone who’s more interested.

        • Clueless and Fumbling

          This is possibly the advice I really needed, thanks. I haven’t really dated much before (focused on school and turned down any date offers while in college because I didn’t want distraction), and now I feel like I don’t know how quickly things should progress in a relationship.

          • Idea

            A relationship should progress as quickly as you and the other person want it to progress. This is clearly not an exclusive, romantic relationship – he has said so. What do you want? (I don’t care. You don’t have to answer. But that’s what you can ask yourself.)

          • January

            As a fellow inexperienced person, I don’t think there are any hard-and-fast rules for that. But I agree with the previous poster that the framed Beatles album is a girlfriend-y gift, and if what you want is to be the girlfriend, you’re better off just saying so. (If that’s not what you want, continue as you are, and don’t pay much or any attention to his birthday).

            ETA: I think the posters below me said what I was trying to say, but better.

        • roses

          No no no – I disagree heartily with this advice. It has only been a month! Especially if you haven’t dated much before, it’s great to pursue things casually with a few people and get a sense of the types of guys you like and don’t like. Just don’t let him string you along – if it’s a few months in and you both are acting like you’re in a relationship and he is still wavering, then it’s time to DTMFA. Also, remember if you’re not exclusive, you can still date other people too.

        • Bee

          I’m really perplexed by the unsolicited advice. They met in person for the first time in mid-October and have hung out once a week. So, about 4 dates. It is completely reasonable to not commit to an exclusive relationship with someone you’ve only hung out with 4 times. Now, if you get to the 8-10 range and OP wants exclusivity and he doesn’t, it’s probably time to call it quits. But you should not be worried about that 4 dates in.

          I like the $20 bottle of booze idea, though. If it works out with this guy, there will be other gift-giving occasions (ahem, holidays are coming up). Save the Beatles album for one of them.

    • AIMS

      Don’t get him anything that looks like you put in very much effort. Sounds weird but seriously. If you’re out and about, buy him a drink. If you’re going to his place to watch a movie, show up with a bottle of alcohol wrapped in one of those shiny gift bags from the liquor store. Especially for a guy who has made it clear to you that you’re not yet exclusive (so, I assume, that came up), anything thoughtful will only make him uncomfortable.

      PS: I don’t think you have to dump the guy because he isn’t ready to commit after 4 dates, but don’t over invest in this relationship too soon either.

    • Senior Attorney

      I was in a similar situation recently. We had a date the night before his birthday, so I got him a card that said something like “celebrate all day on your birthday,” and wrote “…starting now!” at the bottom. He seemed pleased that I remembered, but it was No Big Thing and I think it hit just the right note.

  9. Bonnie

    Putting together my Christmas list. Any suggestions for:

    1. a good cushioned yoga mat
    2. warm and fuzzy slippers

      • Katie

        The LL Bean Wicked Good moccasins are amazing, cheaper than the Uggs, and can be replaced for life. I rave about them to anybody who will listen.

        • PolyD

          Are they actually wool? I have been wanting a pair of wool fleece lined slippers, but it seems every time I find a likely pair, the lining is synthetic.

          I am going to put on my Christmas list a pair of those gloves that let you text.

        • Rogue Banker

          +1 million, they live up to the name. Got me through the Rocky Mountain winters just fine; really wishing I’d brought them to the South with me, as the recent cold snap has not been fun without my old cold-weather gear. I know what’s going on my Christmas list… :P

    • Becky

      I’ve heard rave reviews of the Manduka mat – durable, cushy, and oversized ones if you would want that. I can’t speak to the longevity, but I did borrow a friend’s once and loved the thickness. Edit: thanks for giving me some ideas for my list-I’m having a hard time!

    • EG

      Manduka and Jade both make thicker mats, and both are very highly recommended by the yogis I know. If you can’t find one you like, you could also bring a towel to your practice and kneel on that when you need to.

      • Anon

        I really like my Jade yoga mat. My cat also approves of it – she likes to curl up on a corner of the mat when I practice at home.

      • Anon

        Manduka all the way. I liked my Jade but it doesn’t’this stick to the floor and slides around during practice.

    • Brit

      I think it just takes time to appear. Sometimes when I pull it up in Mozilla it’s not there when the page first loads, but then shows up in a few seconds.

  11. Roman Holiday

    Maybe I’m a bit old-fashioned, but I think birthday cards are under-rated – you can put some effort into finding one he’ll like and including a personal message, but it doesn’t have the commitment/weight of an actual present. I agree with the above comments that you don’t need to buy a present at this stage.

      • Moonstone

        Haha, I misunderstood where you meant to post and thought you were suggesting that the guy with new twins get just birthday card for his wife’s 30th.

        • Clementine

          I know someone whose ex got her a $25 gift card to the movies (she’s not a big movie goer) and a signed (not with a message, just a signature card) for her 30th…

          I wouldn’t suggest going that route.

  12. Are Wolford worth it?

    It’s time to replenish my tights supply. I would like to try Wolford but wondering if the hype is worth it. Thoughts?

    • West Coast

      I’ve never had the tights, but the hose I have had from them has been worth every penny. They never make my legs itchy and uncomfortable, and they last fairly well–the cost per wear is commensurate to cheaper hose.

    • posey

      Today I am wearing my Wolford tights (velvet de luxe 50) that I bought in winter 2010/2011. They had a break last year while I was pregnant but they still look and feel fantastic. So yes, worth it.

    • BB

      Love love love their merino wool tights! So soft, so warm, and the wool looks really chic and formal enough for a business casual day.

      I wanted to love their hose, and I adored the way they felt. But I tried 2 pairs and each time got a HUGE run in them the first time I wore them. :( YMMV of course, other people don’t have this problem. I returned the first one, thinking it was a fluke, but then it happened on the second one too.

      • Anon in NYC

        I’ve had success with their sheer hose – I think I get the 9s or 10s in terms of thickness. The 8s did snag much more easily, but the 9s have been better for me.

        And to the OP – I love their winter tights. Their velvet de luxe 60s and the merino wool keep me warm all winter.

    • Eliza

      Buy a pair and test drive first. The velvet de luxe 50 version is super silky and feels great, but I find they’re so silky that my feet slide in my shoes, which is highly annoying.

      Also, check sizing carefully. I was right in the center of the size Small block on Nordstrom’s s!te, but I have longish legs and really wish I’d tried a size up. The Wolford webs!te goes by hip and waist measurement, which makes no sense, IMO.

  13. Foley Lardner v. Mintz

    I am a mid-level in BigLaw, looking to transition to another law firm in their general lit practice. I’m fortunate to have two offers, from Mintz Levin and Foley Lardner. East coast office (not NY). I’d love to hear an honest perspective from anyone who currently or formerly worked at either of these firms. Interested in how hard people work (any sweatshop mentality?), general culture, openness toward women/minorities, whether there is a face time expectation, respect for an attorney’s vacation/personal time, etc. They both seem like great firms and I am struggling to make a decision. Thanks!

    • anon for this

      Are you talking about Boston? If so, I think Foley Lardner is the better place to work, with a more relaxed environment and better work-life balance. Mintz is more of a grind and the people seem more tightly wound. That said, I think Mintz has a better name in the Boston area, so if you are looking to make another move later (especially in-house or government), I think Mintz would carry more weight. If I had to choose, I would choose Foley Lardner, but work-life balance is more important to me than prestige.

    • Anonymous

      I work at one of the firms. If you post an anon email, I will send you an email tonight.

      • OP

        great, thanks! please email me at [email protected]. And for anyone else who has some background on the firms and prefers not to post here, please email me as well. I really appreciate it.

    • anon

      Foley reduced the salaries of its attorneys, without warning if I remember correctly, in the downturn in 2010, so that might be something to consider if you’re comparing financial health of the firms. Also, everyone except one person I know who started there in 2010 has left already to go elsewhere. Not from east coast offices, though, so I have no idea what it’s like in those offices.

  14. AIMS

    I have to fill out a few bar employment affidavits for past interns and am wondering do people put their actual home address on the “mailing address” or can I just have my work address there? I’ve done home in the past but I always hate doing that.

  15. DUN

    Bit of an impulse buy but I got the dress in orange and 10% off with promo code RMNNOV. Hope it’s flattering and not a hospital gown.

  16. Baconpancakes

    It’s getting on near that time again…

    Does anyone have suggestions for wide calf, black, waterproof boots? In addition to the prohibitive cost, Aquatalia doesn’t seem to have any real wide calf options, so that’s out, but I do love their sleek, professional style.

  17. Carrie...

    Any recs for a good pair of skinny black jeans?

    I have a Gap pair that lost its shape in no time. Looking for a better quality bucket for the next pair.

    I’m a skinny pear shape, 5′ 7″, and need a brand with enough stretch/spandex to hold my rear in place.

    Thanks

    • Anonymous

      I love the 7 for all mankind ones-they hold up really well, and my junk fits in the trunk

      • Carrie...

        Thanks for this. Do they keep their color? I was looking at a pair (Stretch Skinny Jeans 7 for all mankind) on the Nordstrom’s website, and a few comments mentioned the wash faded quickly.

        • Anonymous

          No, mine haven’t faded at all – but I do use woolite and hang dry, so that might be the reason

    • Boston Restaurants

      Madewell Skinny Skinny! Their jeans are amazing. Lots of stretch, free shipping and returns. Higher rise. Thick, excellent quality.

        • Anon

          Also agree! These are my new favorite jeans. I wish they came in a dark blue wash. I keep checking and if they ever do will definitely be getting a pair.

          I will add that the stretch is just right, a little but not too much.

      • Maddie Ross

        My black Uniqlos faded to gray the first time I washed. I would NOT recommend.

    • nutella

      Guess brand and believe it or not — Old Navy! I love both brands more than my 7FAM and J brands.

      • Anonymous

        ETA: Also, avoid mid to high rise pants with a pear shape! I just ordered a gorgeous, soft pair of cranberry pants but missed that they were midrise. I need a bigger size for my butt and thighs than I do for my waist/tummy area, so all of the extra material starting at the hip joint forms folds and looks like a diaper. Not attractive. Higher rises are just not meant for small waist/generous bottomed ladies.

        • Carrie...

          Thanks for all these great suggestions, at multiple price points. I also appreciate reminders about what works best for my shape.

          • Anon

            I actually think the opposite, although I suppose I’m more of an hourglass than a pear. This might just be because I’m short with short legs, but I find that with a big butt and a small waist, low-rise pants inevitably hit at an awkward place and gape at the waistband. I’ve had more luck with stretch mid-rise–they don’t have that weird gap.

  18. West Coast

    Does anyone feel like there is some vanity sizing going on in shoes right now? I am finding where I used to be a 6.5 or 7, I am now usually a 6, sometimes a 6.5. If I find an older shoe (I have a great luxury consignment store next to where I live), I am firmly a 6.5.

    Anyone else have this happening? I somehow doubt my feet are shrinking.

    • anonymous

      I’m finding that I’m a 5 or a 5.5, and I always thought I was a 6. Most of my footwear in the past were some variant of athletic shoes or the casual type shoes that look like athletic shoes, though, and now I have to wear normal professional type shoes, so that might why

    • AIMS

      I don’t think it’s vanity length wise but I think that most mass market shoes may be getting a bit wider. I have feet that aren’t quite wide enough for “wide” width sizing but are a bit on the wider side at the top of the foot. I remember being in college and having to get 7.5 frequently in my then-trusty Steve Maddens whereas now I only get 7.5 in very fancy shoes that tend to run narrower as a whole.

      ETA: I think shoe size isn’t so cut and dry as your foot is X inches, so you’re a size Y. I think wider feet can mean you go up a size or half. Also different styles can mean different sizes (pointy vs. ballet). I think what’s happening to you may be a combination of style (round toes have been in) and the fact that shoes are becoming wider to accommodate consumers.

      • anonymous

        just out of curiosity, if round toes are in then are pointy toes out? just about all of my shoes are pointed toe flats- does this look normal and just not particularly in style or like I’m wearing stuff that’s just way out of style?

        • Cat

          I think AIMS meant (and I agree) that pointy toes are coming back in to join the popular round/almond toe styles, which have been dominant for the past several years. Wear with confidence :)

          • AIMS

            Yep. If anything round is starting to look dated. Pointy is definitely in and almond is almost always going to be a classic. But in round toe ballet flats like the ones that have been so popular the last 5-7 years, I am almost always a half size smaller than my usual 7.

    • EG

      I’ve been thinking the same thing over the past few months. I am a 12, and it is usually difficult to find cute 12s. I’ve been finding 11s that fit me well and are stylish, AND I can even try them on in store. This is what it feels like when doves cry.

    • Anon2

      I’ve had the same. Squarely a 9.0 since high school, and I’m now buying 8.5 flats. I would accuse others of dreaming this up if I didn’t experience it for myself!!

    • Anon

      Same here, I have worn an 8.5 for years, and now I wear a 7.5 in almost all shoes. I will also agree the another commentor, that this seems to have taken place in the past half year or so. I liked that I used to be able to buy an 8.5 no matter what. Now I actually have to try shoes on or order multiple sizes which is frustrating.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      Noooo…I thought my feet shrunk because I lost weight! But yes…9.5 to a much more typical 9.

  19. BB

    A pie update: Thanks to all of you who advised on my pumpkin/chocolate/apple pie dilemma last night!

    After careful deliberation, I am going to make…ALL THREE PIES!!! :)

    Basically, all your comments reminded me of exactly why I love apple and chocolate, and I’ve been craving pumpkin for months. I’ll just send each guest home with at least 1/2 a pie.

    • Anonymous

      That sounds amazing! Where I work I sometimes make pies with our customers and I’ve discovered that there is a surprising variety of small foil pans available in loads of sizes so we usually turn our pies into smaller tarts so everyone can take one home.

  20. Boston Restaurants

    Hi all,

    I’m looking for a recommendation for a Boston restaurant (closer to South End or downtown, rather than Brookline or Cambridge area) that has delicious food but is not uber fancy or way too trendy. Basically something comfortable, fun and delicious. Food type doesn’t really matter, so long as its tasty! All adults, no children. Good wine list preferred as well.

    • AIMS

      I was in Boston recently and we had the best time in Giacomo’s in Little Italy. It was obviously a little on the touristy side but super fun, the food and wine were actually great and we had canollis nearby at Mike’s Pastry after. Very fun night and seems like it would meet all your criteria.

    • Anonymous

      Giacomo’s in the South End, and right next door is Anchovies a little divey joint that shares a kitchen.

      I also like Franklin Cafe, right across from Coppa in the South End.

    • wintergreen126

      I like Sonsie and Scollay Square. I’ll second Franklin Cafe, too. Lolita’s is interesting, but can get loud. My roommate loves Orinoco.

    • anonymous

      In addition to those mentioned above, Stephanie’s on Newbury; Parish (pretty cool that they have menu inspiration from best chefs from throughout Boston); friends also like Toro in the South End. LOVE Figs and Tip Tap Room if Beacon Hill is an option.

  21. NYC fashion help

    Hi all, long time reader, first time commenter here. I am visiting NYC over Thanksgiving with my boyfriend and his father. For the daytime, I plan to wear boots, skinny jeans and sweaters/blazers, but the evenings have me stumped. We will be dining at a lot of old school places, i.e., Cipriani and Daniel, as well as seeing a jazz show at the Blue Note one night. Any ideas for how I can dress for the cold, be appropriate for the older crowd, but not dressed like I’m going to church? There may be older threads out there, but I can’t find anything exactly on topic. I would also love any recommendations for layering during the daytime – as a Southerner I am worried about underestimating the cold. Thanks!

    • anne-on

      I’d suggest a coat in addition to a sweater/blazer. Depending on the weather it may well be in the 30’s and quite windy that late in the month. At the very least, plan on a scarf/gloves/hat. Having those may be enough without a coat if you run warm.
      For the places you mention, I’d suggest a cocktail dress with black tights for warmth. Coat check will be available for your outerwear at any of those types of venues. And if its really frigid the chances of snagging a cab go down, so be prepared to walk and dress warmly/with comfortable enough shoes.

      • Anonymous

        Yeah, you’ll need a coat. It was 32 degrees this morning. Wear lots of layers – there will be pockets of HEAT indoors and out, as well as pockets of freezing, windy weather. Wear leather gloves.

        ETA: how to wear layers in the city: tank top, short sleeves/sleeveless top, warm cardigan, scarf, coat. At minimum. Also, wear long underwear if you tend to run cold. Wind will go right through jeans. Fleece tights might be a good idea as well, you can pick some up at a Duane Reade.

      • AIMS

        I don’t think you need a c*cktail dress, at least not anything very dressy or sparkly. You’d be overdressed at most of the places you mention.
        I agree that you’ll need a coat and a scarf. Hat/gloves may or may not be necessary depending on the weather and your tolerance for cold, but don’t worry about getting them ahead of time if you don’t have. You can always buy a cheap pair on pretty much any corner of Manhattan (or a nicer pair at lots of other places).
        I think you basically want to go for a dressy casual look. New Yorkers tend to not overdress for things, though people do dress nicely (if that makes sense). Think nice top, heels, accessories, clutch or smaller bag, funky jewelry.
        If you want to wear a dress, I’d do something no dressier than this and I’d probably wear it with booties or something else on the casual side (def. not platform black pumps, lets say): http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/product/clothes-dresses/4130231803330.jsp#/

    • NYNY

      Definitely have coat, gloves, scarf, and hat – it can be really cold at Thanksgiving! For the Blue Note, what you’re describing as your daywear is perfectly appropriate. For the restaurants, I’d probably do a dress or skirt with tights and heeled boots.

    • Anonymous

      Knee-high boots are your friend. With black tights and a long coat, you’ll be quite warm and boots are easy to walk in. For those restaurants, which sound really dressy, I think you can still get away with boots so long as you wear a sleeker boot (possibly with a low heel) as opposed to a riding boot with buckles.

  22. SA-litagor

    So if I’m 5’4 and 145, what size should I get in a sweater at Uniqlo? I know they run small, but how small? I’m usually in size 8 / 10P pants, size 10 for dresses, a medium top at most brands. Should I go for the L or the XL?

    • Scully

      Uniqlo in the US runs TTS for me; it’s the stores in Japan that run small. I have similar stats. You should be fine with a medium.

  23. mentoring

    I’m a senior associate who was assigned to mentor a junior associate. I was happy to do it, until I gave him several projects and he made (and continues to make) mistakes and assumptions that make me question his judgment and intelligence (and they aren’t typical junior mistakes, they are things that at times make no sense). I have been trying to give him feedback and let him know each time he makes a mistake or does something that makes no sense, but I am not impressed with him. However, in my role as mentor I’m supposed to introduce and promote him to other work-givers, and I don’t want to do that because I don’t want to be attached to his incompetence. Also, I don’t particularly enjoy socializing with him, so I don’t want to spend time taking him to lunch or other things that we have the budget for. Basically, I’m a bad mentor because I don’t respect his abilities and I don’t feel any personal connection. What should I do?

    • Marie

      It sounds like you’re being a little harsh. Can you introduce him as “my mentee” at work happy hours? Walk him around your floor to meet the other partners or senior associates he hasn’t met yet? That should make it clear that he was assigned to you. Others will soon see for themselves that he is incompetent, if that’s true. Surely you’re senior enough that his mistakes won’t reflect so much on you?

    • Anonymous

      I agree that you should still introduce him to people. Telling people you’re his firm mentor won’t make them think you’re endorsing his work product, it will just make them think you’re doing your mentoring job. I also think that lack of a personal connection is not an excuse for not taking him to lunch. You don’t have to become best friends with the guy, but you should do whatever is expected and it sounds like periodic lunches are a part of that. Surely this can’t be the first time you’ve had to have lunch with someone you weren’t wild about. I guess it’s a know-your-office thing to some degree but I think shirking your mentorship duties reflects a lot more poorly on you than mentoring a junior with questionable work product. Also, is it possible you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be/supervise a first year? In my experience all first years make some pretty goofy mistakes.

    • Lady Tetra

      Can you think of anyone in the office that may have a better personal connection with him and introduce them? This sort of happened with me and my assigned mentor (not the incompetence part, since I didn’t actually do work for her) where we just didn’t connect and she seemed like she didn’t like me. The best thing she did for me was tell me “I think XYZ would be a better mentor for you. Why don’t you guys go get coffee tomorrow and see how it goes?” She was right and even though it was weird/uncomfortable that we didn’t get along, she recognized that she wasn’t being a good mentor and found someone who was.

  24. Salary Negotiation

    Need some advice.

    I have a job interview tomorrow. Posted salary (fake numbers) is 60k-80k and HR person asked me on the phone interview “is the salary range ok?”. I said yes. One interpretation of the question is “Is 80 too low?”… is that wishful thinking? If they ask me for a hard number in the interview I’m inclined to say 75-80 but don’t want to price myself out of the position. I’d actually take the job at 70, but the question I was asked is why I’m thinking I should aim big…?

    ETA: they know my skill set and have had a very basic interview so far. So, while I realize “salary is commensurate with experience” is true whenever a range is offered, I also realize that they have a reasonable grasp of my experience and still asked the question about my comfort with the salary range.

    • NYNY

      You’ve told them the range is okay, but the next time you’re asked, you need to make it clear that you’re looking for the upper end of the range. Never give a bottom number that you wouldn’t accept, because that is likely what they will offer.

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