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This may seem like a weird recommendation for summer, but recently I was tickled to see that Brookstone is now selling weighted blankets. Brookstone makes my favorite nap blankets that are great for gifts and are super soft — my favorite for Netflix binges! — and I recently became familiar with weighted blankets after getting one from my son when he was having major problems falling asleep.
Do note, though, that there are different forms of insomnia — my insomnia of choice is the one where you wake up at 2:00 in the morning and go through anxiety loops, so a product like this (which helps you FALL asleep) is not terribly helpful for me. However, if you have problems with delayed-onset insomnia and can't fall asleep, or you generally are going through an anxious time, you may want to check out a weighted blanket.
These range in price (according to size) from $133 to $281 (on a small sale right now), and they come in “blue wave,” tan, and navy blue. It's really just like a hug — it's very difficult to describe, but I can see how it could help anyone fall asleep. It's a great drug-free way to help you sleep! Brookstone Weighted Blanket
(Note: There are very different appropriate weights for adults and kids, so make sure you pay attention to that if you're ordering for a kid or for someone with a very small stature.)
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Sherpa coaching?
Does anyone have any experience with the Sherpa Executive Coaching method? I’m considering it and would appreciate any honest feedback.
Anonymous
Immediate threadjack WHAT TO WEAR TOMORROW MORNING: oral argument in state appellate court tomorrow. I have been working very, very hard (and somewhat successfully) at losing weight over the past 6-8 months and have lost about 35; in anticipation of this, I ordered a new skirt bottom for my super fancy suit; tried it on two weeks ago, all was great.
Tried it on this morning so I could try on shirts and figure out what would go with it and suddenly it does not fit at all. Has weird pooches on the front and the side that seem (at least to me) really obvious.
The pants to this suit technically fit as in they will not fall off but they are way too big and I look like MC Hammer.
No other suits fit (I’m actually rarely in court).
I’m in the South. I am not in a large City – there is nowhere that I could buy a court suit within the next 12 hours. Oral argument is at 9AM. What should I wear?
So – do I wear traditional skirt suit with skirt looking all kinds of weird and poochy? Husband asked if that was my old skirt, fwiw. Or, do I wear a black sleeved dress with heels and hose (but no suit jacket) (or yes a suit jacket, but weird with sleeved dress).
Blonde Lawyer
You need to wear a jacket. If you have the jacket on, could you even tell if it was a long sleeve dress or not? Is the skirt too big or small? If too big, could you pin it? If too small, could you unzip the part that is hidden by your jacket?
Ellen
I agree with Blonde Lawyer, and for the record, I am one also! YAY!! But first and formost, congratueations on loosing the 15 pounds! This is a BIG accomplishment. As for what to wear to court, you need to first talk to people who know the judge and his tastes, if you have time! My judge practically dresses me, and I win b/c of it. You should consult with other local council on that issue. Remember to look the judge in the eye, and stand at a 45 degree angle so that he can get a semi-profile view of you while you make your oral argeuments. When you have jury trials, make sure to address the jury eye to eye, but NEVER loose sight of the judge, who will be lookeing at you at the same time. GOOD LUCK to a fellow HIVE Litigator!!!! YAY!!!
Anonymous
100% wear a jacket, IMO. Does the jacket look as if it is part of the sleeved dress? If not, I say suck it up with the weird poochy skirt, unless by poochy you mean it pulls and really looks like it is too tight, in which case, do the dress and blazer, even if they don’t completely look like they belong together. I’m not sure you totally need to have the jacket on while arguing, but I think you need to at least show up looking like you’re wearing a suit.
Maddie Ross
How weird does the jacket look with the black dress? That was my go-to look for oral argument/court while pregnant, as dresses are much more forgiving than skirts.
Ms B
This is what the one hour alterations people are for. Take them the pants now.
Sanders
If you go this route, I’d take the skirt, too, and see which one is easier to alter.
JayJay
Can you just wear a top, untucked, under your jacket that would cover up the pooches on the skirt?
AIMS
I am not sure what poochiness means. If it’s a little too small though try spanx under?
Anonymous
Thanks guys – my thought was dress with jacket, too. It’s a little heavy on the sleeving, but it’s not like I’ll be gesticulating wildly.
Also, I’m very jealous of those of you who live in large cities with one hour alterations. There’s one tailor in our town and it’s usually 10-15 days. If I lived in a place with one hour alterations, I’d probably also be living in a place where I could go buy another suit.
Fishie
Could the skirt be poochy because of PMS/water retention? If so, drink water (and maybe some tea) tonight, no salt or sugar, and wear super tight Spanx tomorrow.
Mrs. Jones
Yes wear dress with jacket. Good luck!
Blonde Lawyer
Do you have a Target or a Walmart? Even though they don’t have fancy suits, most of those still sell a very basic suit at all size points.
Me
I don’t mean this to be b*itchy. I practice in a major market (Chicago) and based on what I see when I go to court in the more rural counties downstate,including the regional appellate divisions, I can’t imagine that what you wear matters that much; suits really seem optional.
SW
Can you borrow a suit from a friend? If not, wear the dress with the jacket. I work in a small, mostly rural state and while a non-matching dress and jacket would be fine, a dress with no jacket would not.
Jane
First, congratulations on the weight loss! That’s awesome.
Second, I work for a state appellate court in a southern, large city. While lawyers regularly come to argument in very poorly fitted suit, they are all wearing suits (some women are wearing jackets with a non-matching dress or skirt). I highly recommend you wear a jacket that you can keep on the entire time you’re in the courtroom. Otherwise, based on what I see in our court, I don’t think it matters how good the fit is so wear what makes you feel the most confident. And remember you’ll probably be standing behind a podium, which should help hide your bottom half anyway. Good luck to you!
Pompom
Just chiming in to say thank you: the anxiety loops link re: post-interview stress is my life right now. I have recently relocated and am under employed, so I’ve been interviewing. A perfect perfect job came up I’ve had two interviews and now I’m just waiting. That was very helpful read quick I have recently relocated and am under employed, so I’ve been interviewing. A perfect *perfect* job came up, I’ve had two interviews, and now I’m just waiting (mostly to hear from my references). That post was very helpful read!
Pompom
Voice to text somehow copied and dupicated half of my response…sorry folks! Missing that edit button!
Wendy
Best of luck with getting that perfect job!
Anonymous
I just saw an article that said Trump is rebranding some Holiday Inns and Comfort Inn as “American Idea” inns with America First paraphernalia (so gross). Does this mean that those hotel chains are affiliated with the Trump organization or that he owns part of them? I had never heard that, but I don’t know how you can “re-brand” something you don’t own. I want to know because I frequently stay in both those chains and want to immediately stop patronizing them (and let them know why) if he profits from it.
CountC
No, that’s not what would happen. Those hotels are franchised. There are 17 hotels that are owned by a company in Miss, if I recall correctly. The owner of the hotels would have to break their franchise agreements or allow them to naturally terminate. At that point, they would enter into a new franchise agreement with the Trump hotel organization (or licensing agreement most likely).
AFAIK, those corporations are not affiliated with the Trump hotel organization.
ollie
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/05/business/trump-organization-american-idea-hotel-chain.html
Seems like the brand would be owned by the Trump organization and licensed to smaller-scale hotel owners who currently own certain Holiday Inn/Comfort Inn/etc.-branded hotels.
EP
Most hotel properties are simply real estate owned by hospitality investment groups that license the physical building under a certain brand name. That license and “flag” is always subject to change pending different agreements. So it sounds as though properties that were previously licensed under Holiday Inns and Comfort Inns are changing their license to a brand new Trump-family-owned brand. In other words, your beef should be with the investment groups, not the Holiday Inns or Comfort Inns that have nothing to do with a Trump agreement that comes after their own exit from the property. I’m sure both of those brands are just thrilled that their names happen to be mentioned in these stories…
JayJay
Hotels are usually owned by one company (which may or may not be a hotel company) which then has recognizable hotel companies (like Hilton, Holiday Inn, Westin, etc) manage and operate them. Based on the quick description of the story, it sounds like the hotels would no longer be operated by Holiday Inn and Comfort Inn and would be operated by this new Trump company.
Anon
Actually I think that rather nice. This means I can choose a hotel and not worry about having to stay with a bunch of gun toting racists, because they’ll all be at the MURICA hotel and I’ll be at the Hyatt.
Anon
Sounds like a way to capitalize on his former Presidency in a few months…I’m sure we’ll see more.
Anon
This was my cynical thought too, although I doubt 1) it will be “former” in a couple months – I’m afraid he’s here for the 8 years and 2) that won’t stop him from doing this in a couple months.
Anonymous
Ok, thanks everyone for clearing up that these chains aren’t affiliated with him. I like Comfort Inns a lot, I didn’t want to have to quit them! And I agree it’s totally an attempt by him and his kids to capitalize on the presidency.
CounselingAnon
I recently ended a relationship, and I realize a huge reason the relationship didn’t work out is because I’m really bad at communicating my wants/needs and have a fear of conflict in relationships. I’d like to work on this, and I think therapy is probably the answer. How do I even go about finding someone to help me with this? I’m obviously currently single, so the issue isn’t currently “presenting” in my life. Should I even try my employer’s EAP program which offers referrals to counselors? What type of therapist or therapy style should I look for?
CountC
I recommend focusing on finding a therapist you click with, not the type of therapy. IME, because I also had this problem, you don’t need CBT or anything like that for this. It’s more of a discussion about why you don’t feel comfortable speaking up (we never did in my family growing up and I honestly didn’t realize it was a thing), practicing it and doing your HW and then discussing how it went or didn’t go in therapy, and continuing to put the new skills you are learning in therapy to work in your life.
Good for you for being open to therapy for this. It has made such a huge difference in my life.
anon
I have this issue and have been having good results with CBT (and Brene Brown). I found my therapist (who is very easy to relate to, youngish, and sort of “gets” what it’s like to be a woman in our lovely modern age with relationship struggles) via a friend. FWIW, that issue was presenting in my life in a lot of ways I didn’t even realize even though I was single when I started therapy. You might be surprised.
Anonymous
I have used my company’s EAP program and it has worked for me.
Essentially you get a list of potential providers (insist you have a wide geographic area from which to choose). From there, I looked up the provider names on the internet to get a feel for them and their practice.
I could usually sense/figure out who I would connect with best.
Finding someone that you comfortable with and connect to is the most important thing.
It was worth it for me. Best of luck to you.
So proud you are taking a pro-active step to more forward.
Peloton?
I know this has been asked before but the last answers were awhile ago so wanted to see if anyone had new experiences…
Does anyone have a Peloton bike? Do you think it’s worth it? I saw some folks use the app with their own bikes but is the workout maybe not as good? Also: has anyone moved with a Peloton? Is that a hassle? I’m close to pulling the trigger… It’s a lot but I think if I really used it and got a good workout then it’s important enough to me to spend the money, but I think I may be moving in another year or so, potentially across the country, and I don’t know if that should be a consideration at all.
Anonymous
Hitha on the go . c o m [no spaces at all] regularly reviews and writes about her Peloton bike in non-sponsored posts and on her instagram.
Pompom
If you don’t want to drop the cash, I found this helpful: http://www.mypursestrings.com/peloton-app/
OCAssociate
I got a Peloton a couple months ago. I actually had never done a spin class before getting the bike, but it’s shared between my husband & me.
I love it. It has a pretty small footprint – smaller than my previous elliptical trainer. It fits in my bedroom between the wall and the bed without getting in the way. The bike itself is very quiet – I can ride while my daughter naps down the hall.
the instructors have great energy, the leaderboard really keeps me trying to be competitive. I’m relieved that they have “beginner” classes since I’m still working up my cycling stamina. But I also really enjoy doing the scenic rides (sometimes on mute with my own music playing).
We’re still trying to make sure it gets enough use to justify the cost, but so far I’m glad we went for it. I can actually squeeze in a quick 20 minute ride while the kids watch a show or their dad gives them a bath; otherwise I’d never get a workout done in that time.
Not sure about moving it; they came and set it up in our home (which they actually charged almost $300 for!) but I assume you could move it yourself. Again, it’s not huge, and there’s a certain amount of dismantling/reassembling that would be pretty easy to do on your own.
Peloton fan
Yes, we love ours and I don’t think it would be that big of a hassle to move it. There are so many instructors and classes that you’ll likely find a few that really appeal to you and you look forward to riding.
crappy news day
My firm started to hand out notifications on raises and bonuses this week. I am struggling to not feel like I should leave. In my division, they have chosen to give both a raise and a bonus to someone on my team that failed to meet expectations across the board, which is our standard for bonuses (no extenuating circumstances, this is my direct report). I wouldn’t be particularly bothered by that, but I was told my raise and bonus… and they are both lower. So… now I am. (Not a law firm, consulting.)
Please talk me up/down/sense into me/whatever, I also have a migraine. :(
sweetknee
I am so sorry. I had a similar situation several years ago at a law firm. All associates got the same bonus, despite the fact that I had brought in a case that generated 300K in fees that year, which was about three times more than any of the other lawyers. I immediately began making my exit strategy and was gone 6 months later.
Can you inquire what criteria were used to determine your bonus?
crappy news day
Our criteria are standard across career levels. We’re all told that our numerical scores across our annual reviews are what determine our raises/bonuses. I was told what the standard raise % was for everyone in the division, which matched what my report got, and which let me know that mine was below average.
If as our firm says, bonuses are supposed to encourage people who meet and exceed expectations, it’s pretty absurd in my mind to hand one out if someone does not. Carrot if you do well, same carrot if you do not.
JuniorMinion
Ugh that is frustrating – sorry and I get why it is demoralizing. Couple of thoughts –
1) Were other people besides you contributing to his review and are any of them politically important people who could have made this happen?
2) Is your direct part of some program where most people get raises / bonuses of a certain size – ie “analyst class” phenomenon where the buckets are pretty fixed
3) Is it possible your direct was being paid way below market wage originally and this is a bit of a “catch up”
Would it make you feel better to have one of those discussions with your own boss around “hey I want to continue to be a valuable team player – what would you need to see from me development wise for me to move from level A to level B (whatever this is in your line of work)”
JuniorMinion
Sorry just noticed you are in consulting… not sure if they have buckets like banking but this might be what is going on with your direct whereas your bonus / raise might be more tied to firm / group / P&L revenue targets or the like. I come from the banking side of things but I definitely saw this happen in the lean years where people who had reached “level x” were getting no / minimal bonuses but obviously they were still doing bucketed normal bonuses (albeit slightly lower) for the junior folks…
crappy news day
Same bucket. You’re right about the politics. I’m also not seen as a flight risk.
crappy news day
Nope, there’s been a lot of conversation about certain people being overcompensated….
MM Lafleur
Whats the hype? Its expensive poorly constructed polyester. I can get wool or silk for that price
Anon
And too short hemlines. I don’t know why manufacturers keep making work clothes well above the knee. Any hemline that is truly office formal should be at the knee.
Anonymous
Gross. We aren’t all old fuddy duddies.
Anon
Perhaps you are mistaking your office for a bar or a club. Want to be taken seriously? Dress the part.
anon associate
OMG like if my boss knows I have knees he’ll think I’m a dumb woman s!ut and that my work product is crappy oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
thanks for the afternoon tip on how we’re all Womaning Wrong! Haven’t gotten that message enough this week.
Anonymous
Yeah no. A skirt 2 inches above my knee is not remotely unprofessional. And major lolz at the idea it looks like club wear.
Modest is Hottest
At the knee? OMG, the men in my office can’t know I have CALVES! Ankle length or bust! I look to the Duggars for my workwear inspiration. So modest, ensures I’ll be taken seriously
Anon
This is a professional length
https://mmlafleur.com/shop/dresses/annie-galaxy-blue
She does not look like a ruddy daddy
This is too short for the office
https://mmlafleur.com/shop/dresses/aditi-2-0-galaxy-blue
Anon
I’m in mod, but the Annie as pictured is business length and the model does not look like an “old fuddy duddy” (and seriously, what person under eighty uses that expression?)
The aditi as pictured is too short for the office, particularly if worn with heels. If you work at Gap, ok, but in a business formal office, no.
Anonymous
Can you? Where. I like their dresses because they are appropriate comfortable and flattering. Would love that kind of stuff in wool but I never see it!
MM Lafleur
Talbots sells that sort of stuff in 100% wool. You can often get dresses for $60 on sale too. (Before someone says Talbots is matronly I’m a 28 YO size 2)
Anonymous
Really? I just don’t see it!
SW
I tried one Bento box. The dresses were not as nice as my Talbots seasonless wool dresses and was twice as expensive. Talbots ponte is not much different from MM Lafleur either.
Suburban
Could be a body type thing but Talbots’s looks so frumpy on me. mm seems to fall better.
Anonymous
+1
I’ve never found a single Talbots dress that doesn’t read frump to me, while mm makes me feel great and always garners compliments. Plus it is a dream for travel/not wrinkling.
cbackson
I really just don’t often like the styles Talbot’s has on offer.
ex Tal-bot
I loved Talbots when I was startin out. They resized or something b/c I have to buy a petite to get the waist to hit me in my actual waist and then it is too short for work.
MM Etsuko was my unicorn dress and I have 2. Other things there worked out someone much taller or with a much longer torso.
With JCREW and Brooks Brothers, the torsos are all off on dresses and BlackBerry doesn’t even attempt prtites.
MM and (oddly) Banana for the win.
Katie
I’m not sure what being a size 2 has to do with it?
Anon
Easier to find ‘lucky’ sizes, I suspect. When shopping sales, the stuff in the middle to larger sizes get picked over more quickly, but it may be easier for a person who is a less common size to find those dresses on sale.
MM Lafleur
Mhmm, I’m not their demographic so I get full pick come sale time.
Lorelai Gilmore
I liked the skirt and Deneuve top – but all of the dresses were insanely short on me. Particularly galling because I asked for knee or below-the-knee lengths!
DCR
I agree. The stuff is nice enough, but very overpriced for what it is
anon
You are also paying for a small company that produces in the US. People speak about valuing human rights etc.. on this site, but forget what it really costs to make a basic quality garment by a company trying to treat its employees right.
The clothes I have purchased were well made, and the cuts/fabric lay/styles/practicality are right for me.
I definitely find that the cuts are more interesting and fit my body type way better than Talbots.
I agree they aren’t cheap. But they do fit a niche.
Katie
+1.
I like the design, the construction (great use of seams!), and the wool (Toi dress) and ponte (Lydia) fabrics are higher quality than my other dresses. Plus, as anon 7:40pm points out, they produce in the US, support refugees, etc.
As for dress length, I’m 5’5″ and most of the dresses are appropriate for me. I’m pretty conservative about skirt length, too.
Anon
So, you have different tastes from other people. Why is that shocking to you?
Anon
Any ideas about volunteering opportunities for a 14 year old boy? My son has no plans for the summer and is in a friend drought right now. I think getting out of the house and meeting new people would be the best medicine. Particularly if helping some worthy cause.
Carrots
What’s he interested in? Some of the places I volunteered were the library, the local humane society, and there was one summer that I volunteered at an nursing home, helping the therapy department with transportation (I was 13 or 14 that summer, I can’t remember.) Other options might be as a junior counselor at a local YMCA camp or something similar.
Mrs. Jones
local food bank?
Blonde Lawyer
Local hospital. I volunteered at that age. Initially I was just dropping off flowers and delivering mail to people. Eventually I got a walkie talkie and was wheeling patients to and from x-ray! I don’t know if facilities still let volunteer kids do that these days but it was a lot of responsibility for a young person and I really enjoyed it.
Anon
Unfortunately not 14 year olds. My son would probably really like that kind of volunteer work.
anon
How about at a local nursing home?
They would love him.
Anonymous
When I was that age, I volunteered at our local animal shelter. Would he be interested in doing that? Maybe not a city-run shelter, but a rescue or Animal Humane? Or maybe a nursing home?
Is he interested in maybe being a junior counselor or volunteer at a camp for younger kids? Camps in my area are still looking for help.
I love your use of “friend drought.” My 11yo is in the same spot. He’s at a new camp this year so doesn’t know many of the kids, and three of his best friends moved away (far away, to other states) right after school ended. It’s tough to see him lonely; I’m hoping he’ll meet some kids at the new camp he can hang out with later this summer.
Anyone have suggestions on how to help your friend meet neighborhood kids without them or you looking like a creeper? I see kids my son’s age in the neighborhood but if they’re not with their parent, it feels weird to approach them (and my son won’t do it either). When I was a kid, it seems like we just naturally found all the other kids in the neighborhood and hung together – I have no idea how kids find each other now?
Anon
He loves animals but I think the spca requires volunteers over 16 or else accompanied by a parent, which won’t work for us.
He loves video games and hiking and building things.
cat socks
Are there other animal shelters in your area? I started volunteering at a no-kill cat shelter and they allow kids 13 years or older.
Ms B
Our town takes interns/volunteers to work with the horticulture crew that maintains the park/rec center/city hall grounds. Those gigs can turn into paying jobs when he is old enough.
Anon
Habitat? https://www.habitat.org/volunteer/near-you/youth-programs
anon
Counselor-in-training at a summer camp?
AnonAM
At 14 I was working at an ice cream shop – maybe a few hours at that or the local pool food bar? If not working, maybe volunteering at the local animal shelter. You usually can’t do much with the animals directly if that young, but definitely cleaning, organizing and the like.
Anon
Thanks all. I’ve checked the volunteer pages of several area animal shelters and they all require 16+ aged volunteers, or 12-15 with a parent in tow, which doesn’t work for us.
Anonymous
Check the local organizations that aren’t a shelter, per se, but work by having people foster the pets and then host adoption events at Petsmart and the like. I volunteered with those when I was a young teenager.
Anonymous
I can’t speak for every town, but where I grew up, pretty much any place hiring kids for the summer, like camps, ice cream places, pools, etc. filled their positions long before June, I think so they could get everyone up to speed before things opened. All my friends started their summer job searches super early, or had year-round jobs that just gave them more hours in the summer. Any time I tried to find a job around this time of year, I had to aim for stores and tell them I was open to working weekends once school started. And even though the working age was 14, it was almost impossible to get a job before you were 16 because . . . reasons?
OP, are there any summer programs that take kids in his age group?
Anonymous
My experience as well. He’s a little too young also right now, but maybe he could practice swimming and try to be a lifeguard next year. I would see if there is a club he can get involved in, maybe there’s a rock climbing group at your local rock gym or something like that? Or a weird sport, like he can take fencing lessons or something where he’d meet new people.
Lilac
Lifeguarding in my area requires 5 certifications. Hopefully there is nowhere a 15 year old with ‘practice swimming’ can watch a pool or beach. That’s scary and unsafe
Anonymous
If he is interested and if he wants to pass the swimming tests that are associated with being a lifeguard, he would probably need to practice swimming… I think you have misinterpreted.
anon associate
“He’s a little too young also right now, but maybe he could practice swimming and try to be a lifeguard next year”
The point is that you need to be a strong swimmer to be a lifeguard. If you need a summer to ‘practice swimming,’ you probably aren’t there and aren’t going to be there unless you intend to keep up training throughout the school year. You probably just meant try to increase his strength, but the way you phrased it sounds weird. I life guarded for years for a city pool system that had fairly rigorous standards. We had extensive required training that included physical skills/strength requirements in addition to a variety of first aid/CPR certifications, etc. It was quite a commitment, especially the initial training/certifications (like, night and weekend classes for weeks). That said, for OP, it’s a great summer job and I loved it.
Anon
Are you friendly with anyone on staff at your son’s school? They might know of an opportunity. See if you can get in touch with the teachers who sponsor the Beta Club or Key Club or whatever it is they have – the sponsor might know which programs need help in the summer when all the student volunteers are typically gone.
SW
I volunteered at the library when I was that age. It was great.
cbackson
What about an actual job? I started working at 14…may not be legal in your state, though.
Anon
There are way fewer jobs for teenagers than there used to be, because now most minimum wage jobs are filled by adults.
Anon
Sadly, yes. My 16 year old is work eligible and not finding anything. No hope for the 14 year old on the paid front.
Anonymous
The only I job I was able to get at that age was detasseling corn (were allowed to hire 13+). Everything else was 16+
Anonymous
Same, in the Midwest 20 years ago. No one did anything except detasseling corn before age 16.
Anonymous
There are way more legal restrictions than there used to be as far as what younger teenagers can legally do in a job – delivery driving is out, as is working with slicers in a sandwich shop, two jobs that my friends cycled through when I was in high school. Some things that 14-year-olds could do back when I was that age can’t be done by people under 18 now. And there’s tremendous competition for menial-labor jobs from low-skilled adults. I have a couple of friends with older teenagers (16-19) and they can’t get the jobs they could legally do, because the businesses can hire adults who will (ostensibly) keep the job longer than a few months. It’s tough out there for teenagers. The majority I know who are earning money are either babysitting or mowing lawns.
GirlFriday
Local pool is a great idea: he obviously can’t be a life guard but he could sell concessions. Could he mow lawns? Babysit? Stuff envelopes for a church newsletter or a political organization? Since the animal shelters aren’t an option, could he start his own dog-walking/dog-sitting business? Think small and ask around: are there any mom&pop shops that could use his help with cleaning, data entry, etc? My brother and I did a bunch of odd jobs in junior high and high school – it’s great for building a network and people will give you references later! Good luck to him!
Anon
Has he done any research at all? You could make this part of his summer — make him figure out what he’ll do, or at least try to.
Anon
Very little. He just says in that teenage way, “there’s nothing for 14 year olds.” I was looking to all of you for suggestions HE can research, not me, and I do appreciate all the tips. Thanks so much.
Jen
Tell your son if he lives in my Boston ‘burb I’d pay him $15-20/hr to do yard work. Because my landscapers want to charge me almost $60/hr to weed flower beds and clear some light brush (I have been doing it by hand, no machinery required).
The hs teams do a leave raking fundraiserinthe fall and make $$$.
Anonymous
Maybe ask on your Facebook page if anyone works in a place that needs volunteers. My son did legal aid at age 15 but so many places are ridiculous when it comes to the younger teens.
Shopaholic
I’m looking for something to read – any recommendations? Fiction or non-fiction is fine, although I’m not a huge history buff. For fiction, I tend to like contemporary fiction but I’m open to most things. I love the wide variety of recommendations I get here so thought I would ask!
Thanks all.
Anon
I’ve been getting caught up with a Joan Didion and it has been nice. I’d only read a couple of her short stories before now. I liked Play It As It Lays in particular. It is very much of it’s times.
Anon
+1 for Joan Didion!
Anonymous
A Little Life
A Fine Balance
Poison wood Bible
Anonymous
A Little Life was great but such an emotional/tough read! I wouldn’t recommend it without that caveat
CountC
I always will recommend the non-fiction authors Mary Roach (Stiff, Bonk, Packing for Mars, Spook, etc.) and Susan Casey (The Wave and The Devil’s Teeth).
Sloan Sabbith
I love Mary Roach- have you read Grunt? I really, really enjoyed it.
cat socks
This is kind of a random list based on what I can remember reading recently.
Books by Liane Moriarty and Jo Jo Moyes.
In a Dark Dark Wood by Ruth Ware.
Reconstructing Amelia – Kimberly McCreight
The Weight of Blood – Laura McHugh
I re-read The Firm from John Grisham. I remember it was popular when I was in high school.
Gone Girl and other books by Gillian Flynn.
All the Light We Cannot See
Station Eleven
Sloan Sabbith
+1 to Jo Jo Moyes (although all I’ve read is Me Before You and After You, but I loved both), All the Light We Cannot See, and Station Eleven.
Also:
Eligible
Atul Gawande- anything by him
Kitchens of the Great Midwest- listening on audiobook right now and really enjoying it!
Where’d You Go Bernadette- also on audiobook
Girl on the Train
Moloka’i
People of the Book, March by Geraldine Brooks
The Nightingale
Underground Railroad
cat socks
My favorite from Jo Jo Moyes is The Girl You Left Behind.
Senior Attorney
I was riveted by Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opiate Epidemic by Sam Quinones
Kindred by Octavia Butler
The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker
Sloan Sabbith
I had a tough time with Kindred- I didn’t get the WHY and it bugged me.
Anonymous
Same. I loved the premise and the plot, but the writing felt very YA to me.
Frozen Peach
Very eclectic recs:
March graphic novels by John Lewis. SO SO GOOD. Very relevant reading.
The Traveling Death and Resurrection Show– Ariel Gore
Dear Mr. You– Mary Louise Parker
Really enjoying Karin Slaughter’s Grant County mysteries series, also love Tana French’s mysteries.
S*x Wars by Marge Piercy was a lot of fun.
Judith Krantz’s novels from the 80s are the best beach books.
Fishie
Oooh, I just bought some old Judith Krantz and Jackie Collins for the beach this summer! I like your style.
Anonna
I’ve been doing audiobooks lately because my reading time has been massively cut into by other crap. Here are some I have liked:
Revival – Stephen King
Silence – Shusako Endo
Jinx – Meg Cabot
The Testament – John Grisham
Sanders
Beartown by Frederik Backman (A Man Called Ove)
Nylon girl
Loved Lillac Girls.
Layoffs: a reflection
I posted about two years ago about the layoff that just gutted me (I was a star performer, gave my everything for 5+ years, had the track record to show it, our company was bought, we got a new CEO and I was eliminated and replaced by the new CEO’s buddy from his old company. I was also 6 months pregnant.) I’m coming back because everyone said “it’ll get better” and “you’ll look back and see it as a good thing.” I didn’t believe it, but here’s my story:
I ended up negotiating (well, my lawyer did/threatened) an extra 3 months of severance, which brought me to 11 months severance. I did some consulting before my son was born. My son was NOT the dream baby that my first was, and had sleep issues until he was 8 months old that kept me exhausted. Being able to sleep until 9am was a godsend. My husband got a major promotion and his travel picked up. I was able to step in and keep the house afloat so he could take this promo.
My consulting picked up, and over the period in which i was also receiving severance, I brought in 50% of my income (so total income = 1.5x). I ended up turning one engagement landing a part time role as an interim head of [department], which is 30 hours a week, very limited travel, able to be done remotely, and pays me 85% the salary I had at my old role. Contrast this to my high travel role where I was working on average 60 hours a week.
Well, if that weren’t a sweet enough setup, I found out a few weeks ago that my former company got rid of their generous severance program in 2017, the CEO was ousted/left by force, and my replacement tenured his resignation and while he went elsewhere, it was definitely one of those “your role is being eliminated, you have 3 courtesy months to find something”– it was a step down. My entire old department was sold as part of a spin-off and they now report into some PE bank that is interested in nothing but sqeezing extra pennies out of the business, and everyone is miserable.
So…wow. I know the new CEO wasn’t planning on it, but he gave me the cushiest exist possible, including a nice maternity leave (former company it’d have been 8 weeks; i instead got more or less 6 months, plus additional time)
Suburban
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m having a rough go at work and it’s really comforting to hear this. Congratulations on all your success.
Curious
This is so, so good to hear. Good for you, and thank you for sharing!
Meg March
That’s great! A little bit of schadenfreude never hurt anyone… Glad you landed not just on your feet but in a better place.
Anon
This is so awesome to read. Congratulations to you, and thank you for sharing!
Jules
So wonderful! I represent employees, among other things, and often tell them that a termination, even an outrageously unfair one, can turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to them. (This was recently true for my sister, for example, for whom I negotiated a severance deal – she get a better job where she is much happier, starting the week her severance ran out.)
It’s not universally, true of course, but it is often the case. I’m so happy for you, and appreciate you sharing your story.
today
Great story to hear! Recently informed my job has been eliminated. Trying to stay positive, thanks for sharing.
Anon
*tendered his resignation
Echo
More anecdata, but: I was you, except sans maternity leave situation. My position was eliminated, I negotiated 3 months severance, and stayed on retainer as a consultant for 6 months until I found a new job. There was a one-month gap at the end of the consulting and the start of wonderful new dream job— in which I went to Montana, London, and Paris! It was a horrible day when I received that notice, but now my life is 5 million times better.
Anonymous
Glad to see worked out for you, truly. But realize but for every 1 like you, there are 50 like me – laid off, no severance, no jobs or offers for 18 months. Then landed a loser job in the gov’t which I had to take bc bills and resume. Now I’ve been stuck here for 2 yrs knowing the last job I had was the best I’ll ever have with no way of going back to it – in part bc I’ve aged out/gotten off track in IB. Good times.
OP
I know, and it sucks. I thought it would be helpful to see a positive outcome, though. And, for me, I didn’t feel like, “damn, this * was* a good thing until I heard what happened at my old job. It was good, sure, but I am still not the exec I was 2 years ago. But I’m no longer sure I want to be.
Curious
Having a terrible time focusing today. Anxiety has been up a bit due to illness followed by a move followed by a (lovely, but still) houseguest. I’ve been promoted and new position promises to be great but has much more ambiguity, and I’m just not feeling up to the task of structuring it right now. I’m 30ish and newly in management, FWIW.
Not sure what I’m looking for — commiseration? Hugs? Similar rants? Being informed that I’m a Millennial and need to suck it up? Probably all of the above :)
Anonymous
I’m of the mind that “tough love” is a strong drug that a) doesn’t work on everyone due to its side effects and b) needs to be administered skillfully.
I’m sending you hugs and commiseration, and letting you know that while everything feels sucky now, it’s going to be okay, you will get through it, and one day you’ll look back and wonder what all the fuss is about. Time and experience gives us perspective on all things.
Then again, I’m a softie who sympathizes with toddlers crying in public, they make me want some nice cold juice too!
For the time being, may I recommend streaming some standup comedy on Spotify? Eugene Mirman is getting me through some tough times, I love his jokes.
Curious
You just lifted my mood so much. Thank you for being a kind internet stranger :)
Anonymama
Can you think of the anxiety/discomfort as a good thing? It’s a sign of growth. Like, when you are working out and you can feel it in your muscles you know it means you are pushing yourself enough to be getting stronger/faster. Likewise, when you are doing something new of course it will be harder but that discomfort is a sign that you are growing, and the more you do it the more natural it will feel, you just have to step into it and do it. And sometimes you will feel like “ugh I just can’t” and all you can do is focus on the one little next step and slog through, and before you realize it you will be jogging along smoothly.
Curious
That’s a good way to re-frame it. I hate hate hate discomfort (even in exercise) and have developed coping mechanisms to keep working out that do apply here. Might need to write that somewhere visible to remind myself.
Anon
Not the OP, but this is really helpful for a different circumstance I’m going through right now. Thanks for the thoughtful response.
migraine
I posted this on the morning thread, but late. This is for the person suffering migraines in Berkeley. I also have migraine with aura and found Dr. Jennifer Ault with Sutter Grou p to be excellent – she’s professional, thorough, and compassionate. I would recommend her unequivocally.
Migraineur
Thank you!!
Tween Parenting Resources?
My 12-year old has always been a sweet, thoughtful kid but lately he is lying and saying his homework is done when it isn’t – mostly so he can play games, program to make his own games or check our YouTube videos of others playing games.
We’ve tried a lockdown on electronics but he needs his phone to stay in touch with us and his laptop for school work. The parental control apps I’ve tried aren’t great and I think the solution is surely actual parenting to instill respect for rules and a sense of self-motivation – except I have no idea how to do that.
I try talking to him about expectations and responsibility, revoking electronics as a consequence, letting him choose his own punishment (after watching a TED talk recommending that route) and I am clearly failing. DH is frustrated because 12-yr old isn’t motivated to do ANYTHING other than play/build games but I wonder if that isn’t a normal 12-yr old thing. Which leads to an argument about parenting.
Any suggestions for parenting books or websites for tween parenting?
Blonde Lawyer
How about a homework notebook? My school did this for 7th and 8th grade. Assignments were written in a notebook daily and the teacher initialed that it was the actual assignment. Parent then checked that daily and looked at the written work to see that it was complete. I could still lie about whether I read something or not but if I had to do word problems or write a summary there was some proof as to whether I had completed that. It stopped me from just saying “nope, no homework” to the parents. The school also did this for the whole grade as it was such a pervasive problem at that age. Not just for the “troubled” kids.
JuniorMinion
Not a parent but my (mechanical engineer / MBA / patented new tool) husband still talks about how much he hated english / history in middle and high school and did none of the work for those classes…
Can you maybe try carrots instead of sticks? Is there some sort of junior dev group your son could get into? Compsci skills are worth $$$$ and I had a TON of friends in engineering who started this way…obsessed with coding / games / game development / graphics / etc.
Also my brother was like this. What helped him a lot was a weekly agenda book with little slots for each class period and a binder for each class with a homework section that was organized by date and there were nightly “homework checks” (by my mom) at a certain time for him in our house to ensure assignments were done. Weekend social plans were cancelled for noncompliance.
Anon
I can see how an extracurricular activity is a good way to channel his interest in coding, but I don’t see how that solves the homework problem. If anything it would make it worse.
JuniorMinion
At least in my experience (and folks in college with me echoed this), a lot of middle school / some high school work is kind of endless drudgery. The love I had for certain subjects balanced this out, it made it more palatable doing homework knowing that yes Subject X was terrible but Y was awesome so it was a bit more balanced. I think if I had disliked all of it I would have been less motivated…
Anon
I just don’t think adding more time commitments to a kid who already isn’t getting his existing work done is going to help.
Jen
I’m late, but i disagree. I was a much better student when I had a few clubs and my sport was in season. When I had nothing to do, I watched hours of TV, AIM’d my friends, took online quizzes, and put off studying.
Perhaps this isn’t the case for the kid in question, but it’s worth exploring.
anony
I don’t have advice for you. Just wanted to say that I was I really bad tween. So bad that the teachers at my middle school had meetings about how to deal with me. I definitely didn’t do all of my homework, and I’m certain that I lied about that to my mom. Luckily middle school grades didn’t end up mattering in the long run. I grew out of that phase and refocused in high school.
All this to say, have hope! I think your son is totally normal. If you do your best, it seems likely that your son will come back around. The middle school years can be tough for both parents and kids, but it doesn’t last forever–Thankfully!
Anonymous
Yeah… when I was in 8th grade I basically stopped going to school at one point because I didn’t feel like it. There were no consequences at all for me and I’m successful now. I knew it was middle school, that it didn’t actually matter, and I didn’t treat high school that way.
He’s just being a typical kid. How to motivate, I don’t know — I would talk to him about it, but make him explain to to you instead of you explaining it to him. I’m sure it’ll be like pulling teeth, but see what he thinks the consequences are for not doing his homework and why he’s not prioritizing it. See what his long terms plans are – what does he think he’ll do in high school etc?
Anomnibus
Heeeey that was totally me in school! I blew off assignments, and there were consequences for that. In addition to having bad grades and being tossed in my school’s “homework club,” my parents pulled me out of cheerleading and made me go to a learning center where I had to learn study skills. It helped me shape up a little, because I hated it.
Although honestly, I didn’t start really taking school seriously until I was in high school, figured out what I wanted to do with my life and started to really think about getting into college.
Jaydee
Is there any chance of some other issue underlying this? A teacher he’s having a really tough time with? An undiagnosed learning disorder? An amount of homework that is too much for him to finish (so he worries that he won’t get to do anything fun if he has to finish his homework first)? Some subject that he is just not understanding?
I ask this because I was a bright kid all the way through school. I also really struggled with homework in middle and high school. It was a constant source of stress for me and a constant battle with mom because I wouldn’t just sit down and get my homework done like I was supposed to.
20 years later, I was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety, and it all started to make sense. Why wouldn’t I just sit down and get my homework done like I was supposed to? Because I *couldn’t* just sit down and get my homework done like I was supposed to! My brain was tapped out after a full day of school and extracurricilulars. I knew I was going to spend hours every night struggling to focus on and finish my homework. And it didn’t help that I was always reminded that I was smart and had “lots of potential” and it “should be easy” for me. ADHD made it hard to focus and do the things. Anxiety made me worry about how hard it would be and want to avoid the hard. ADHD made avoidance easy. I would impulsively jump into something else (something fun and easy) like making a snack, watching TV, talking to friends on the phone, etc. Then anxiety (and mom) would remind me of all the terrible things that would happen if I didn’t do my homework (bad grades, being grounded, no more extracurriculars, not getting into college, no future, failure, shame, not living up to my potential). The cycle sucked, and only when it got late enough that I knew I *had* to get started or it wouldn’t get done did I actually manage to do my homework.
I did the homework, got nearly straight As, got a full-ride to college, am now a lawyer and a mom and generally happy with my life, so it all worked out okay. But I do wonder how much easier and different my life would be if I hadn’t spent 34 years trying to fight against my brain in a quest to live up to the expectations of others.
Anonymous
With the caveat that my kids aren’t teens yet, I’d be inclined to let this go. 12 is old enough to know better and too young for it to matter as far as college acceptance, and failure is sometimes the best way to learn a lesson in time management. Is this a not doing homework but still understanding the material kind of situation, or a not doing homework and failing to learn important things because of it situation? If the former, congrats, you have a really bright kid who is bored by schoolwork he doesn’t see the point of. Forget enforcing homework on a daily basis, and enforce consequences for poor grades instead. If he can blow off homework but pass tests and convince his teachers to give him extra credit/special projects, he’s learned to plan ahead and work the system and everyone wins.
If he is not doing homework and struggling (cause and effect could go either way), then I’d try to address by improving study skills and conscientiousness. Let him brainstorm things that would help, rather than just punishments. I had an independent streak at 12 and did not take direction well, but when something was my own idea, I had great follow-thru.
Jen
On balance, this kid was my brother and my brother almost didn’t graduate high school. And he’s 28 and still hasn’t found his way.
I think there is a skewed sample here because the ladies responding are all career ladies. The rebellious teen who didn’t get back on track isn’t reading thissite.
Trish
Yes, it is normal. My son was the same and he started getting responsible in his junior year. Honestly, if you start researching homework, there is a trend in this country to increase homework loads beyond what is developmentally appropriate. A 12 year old simply cannot balance many projects and there is more homework in middle school than what we had. He may be shutting down which is what happened with my son. You have to push back on the school a little and help him figure out what he CAN do and be okay if it is not all finished.
Anonymous
Phone with no data capability and text/call only plus all homework done on laptop must be done at kitchen table. Make this the new normal and let him earn privileges back.
Anonymous
This.
Tween Parenting Resources
Thanks, all. It sounds like this is normal but I can also switch some things up to help him work on it.
I ordered a magnetic chore chart -type calendar and I’m going to try the approach of listing things that must be accomplished before he gets screen time (along with better parental control apps). My goal is for him to be responsible for homework/ his few household chores before he moves on to screen time. If he isn’t self – motivated at least I can focus on the concept of work before free time?
Anonymous
If he does ALL his homework, is there any free time? Or time to day dream, eat, sleep?
Mrs. Jones
My BFF has an 11 y-o son and liked Masterminds & Wingmen.
Anonymous
You have two issues here: the not completing work, and the lying about it.
For work completion, start an agenda with his teachers. They initial the assignments he writes in the agenda, and then you initial after he completes and shows his work to you. Also, set time aside for homework every night and ask his teachers for extra assignments. If he says he’s done his homework but can’t show it to you, then you can provide a different assignment for him to do. If he understands that there will be X time devoted to schoolwork every night regardless, he’ll be more likely to actually use it for actual homework.
CHL
My friend from college is awesome at this – check out ana homayoun (but put the words together).com.
LA Newbie
I am going to California for the first time for a conference in Anaheim in late July. A friend is going to meet me up there and we are going to stay for 3-5 days and be tourists. Anything we should do/skip? Area recommendations for where we should stay/avoid? We are both on a pretty tight budget. I don’t have much interest in Hollywood/films and neither does she, so I don’t think we want to go on a tour of the stars homes or see the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I think I want to go to Griffith Observatory and probably Long Beach. I have also been told the drive to the San Diego Zoo is probably worth it. We also probably want to go to the Tar pits and the LACMA. Any other ideas?
Anon
Ferry ride to Catalina!
Curious
This is going to be so much fun! Consider the San Diego Safari Park instead of / in addition to the zoo. I presume that Disney is out of budget.
Will you have a rental car? Long Beach is not actually the nicest beach. If you’re willing to go a little bit farther, you might consider Laguna Beach for the combination of nice beach, pretty shops, big houses on hills to drive around and see. Dana Point and Corona del Mar are also pretty and have tide pools. I believe there is a large outdoor fine craft market (pretty to look at, glassblowing, no entrance fee) in Laguna Nigel or Aliso Viejo.
Also a little farther down the coast from Anaheim you could go to Mission San Juan Capistrano, which is beautiful and an interesting part of California history. The Missions are adobe-walled, tile-roofed Spanish colonial missions with the attendant colonial nastiness but also lovely gardens and, in the case of San Juan Capistrano, swallow migrations, a blacksmith shop, etc.
Curious
* Laguna Niguel
Rainbow Hair
Tar Pits and LACMA are great, yay! Get some Ethiopian food before or after.
Do you like beer? Not far from Anaheim are three breweries that are close together and pretty great: The Bruery, Phantom Ales, and Bottle Logic. Just a tiny bit further away is Bootleggers, also good!
With only 3-5 days I wouldn’t drive to San Diego for the zoo, but maybe that’s just my lack of enthusiasm for zoos… and driving.
Pasadena has some good stuff to explore: the Pacific Asia Museum, the Norton Simon Museum, the Huntington Libraries and gardens, the Gamble House, and you can wander around Old Town or South Pasadena just for fun shopping/eating. There’s also OK hiking just north of there, in Eaton Canyon.
SMC-SD
Where to start:
(1) If it ends up being 3 days, I would suggest you pick San Diego OR Los Angeles. Don’t try to do both. You do not really have time. IF there is no traffic, it is a 3 hours drive from LA to San Diego (Anaheim is almost exactly between them). Since you do not mention it, I assume you are not planning on going to Disney?
(2). If you decide on LA and want inexpensive, try the Getty Center and/or Getty Villa. You will need a timed admission ticket for the Villa, but it is in Malibu and really gorgeous. You have to pay for parking if you drive, but admission to both is free. The Getty Center is one of the best museums on the West Coast. The California Science Center is also fun, especially seeing the space shuttle, as is the Grammy Museum if you are interested in music (both downtown and not far from Griffith Observatory). If you don’t mind the heat, the Huntington in Pasadena is nice. Just remember that LA is very spread out and it can take hours to get from one place to another, which makes selecting a hotel difficult. Download the Waze app. On the weekends, you can sometimes find cheap hotel rooms downtown.
(3) In late July the tourist areas of San Diego will be cooler than most of LA, but it depends on what you want to do. The San Diego Zoo is amazing. Get there EARLY to avoid crowds and catch the animals before they fall asleep. The waterfront is nice too, especially if you are interested in military history (check out the USS Midway) as is the harbor cruise, the ferry to Coronado and the beach in front of the Hotel Del Coronado. You can usually find inexpensive rooms near Old Town. You can also look in the downtown/Gaslamp area, but they tend to be more expensive. As a last resort, Mission Valley is usually relatively inexpensive but you will have to drive to do anything (not the nicest area; safe but between freeways).
A warning. You said “late July”. You DO NOT want to come to San Diego during Comic-Con (July 20-23). If those are your dates, go to LA. Otherwise, you will pay twice as much for a room unless you stay at the beach in the far north of the county.
OCAssociate
Pageant of the Masters in Laguna Beach is a must-see. It doesn’t seem like it would be amazing: tableau vivante, people standing around like works of art, no big deal. But it’s wonderful. I insist on going every year. It only runs in July and August, so your timing is perfect.
Tween Parenting Resources
The Broad is the newest art museum and it’s free but requires an advance timed ticket. It’s fun and you can eat at Grand Central Market for cheap and amazing food (Saritas pupusas, McConnells ice cream, G&B for the best iced lattes, EggSlut if you want to lose your mind waiting in line for unreasonably good breakfast).
Long Beach Aquarium is fine. The Queen Mary is actually rather charming to visit. But LB isn’t that exciting. For beaches Huntington Beach is close. I agree with the above poster about going south for better beaches though. San Clements is a lovely beach and boardwalk, is accessible by train (Metrolink commuter and Amtrak) from Anaheim and you can eat the best brunch ever at Ramos House.
You can always do Korea town for amazing Korean food and a trip to the Korean spa (Google it so you know what you’re in for).
Malibu Getty is fabulous, as noted above, but 1.5 hours or more travel time from Anaheim. Santa Monica pier is the quintessential tourist beach experience. You can rent bikes there. Also consider the Annenberg Beach House, which is a public beach house with an oceanside pool, nicer locker rooms, etc for an easy beach experience.
The Anaheim Packing House is a super fun place to eat – casual ethic food eateries of so many kinds.
Santa Ana is super close to Anaheim and has The Bower Museum, which also has a lovely cafe.
The Huntington Library is lovey, as noted. The tea room there is decent but you may need reservations. It is an hour drive from Anaheim without traffic though.
I’d figure out what you are interested in (art museums? Science museums? Beach? Food?) and then try to stick to one area per day with that stuff to minimize travel time.
PR
I need some advice. Recently relocated, and my last boss forwarded my information to an attorney that he knows in my new city, along the lines of “PR is coming to your city soon, maybe our loss can be your gain.” I was CC’d, new contact responded “I’m about to leave for vacation, email me in a couple of weeks, and welcome to the city!”. It’s now a couple of weeks later, what do I say? Do I ask to meet for coffee? Forward my resume? I’m not sure what exactly the expectation is–I don’t expect him to have a job to give me, but I also don’t want to just leave it at “hi, now we know each other.”
What’s the protocol?
JuniorMinion
Title it: “Referral – Ex-boss”
“Hi X,
I hope you had a nice vacation. I am settling in well in City Y and wanted to touch base as I would love the opportunity to hear more about your firm and the legal landscape in city Y.
Look forward to hearing from you,
PR”
This signals that you are in fact interested in his firm while also leaving the door open if they aren’t hiring to just have it be a general get to know you / hows the area / market here type chat aka low pressure.
Anon
Email him and say — we had been introduced a few weeks ago by Bob at Smith Smith & Jones. As he had mentioned, I recently moved from Little Rock Arkansas to Wherever. If you’re available it would be great to get coffee and chat about the local legal market.
And then give him a general sense of your availability – note it should be wide open like – much of the next 2 weeks is great for me. You’re less likely to get traction if he gets back to you and you can’t get together on Wed or next Thurs or the following Friday – at that point senior people just give up and write you off.
Sizes
Reply to the email to you. “Thanks for getting back to me. I hope you had a good vacation. I’m in City now, have just gotten to know Restaurant/Quirky movie theater/Running trail/Something indicative of where you are in the settling in process and your interests. I’m looking forward to learning what else City has to offer. If you’re available in the next couple of weeks, I’d love to get together. X time works best for me, but I am flexible.
Best wishes,
Noob
Sizes
Oh, and include a thanks for I itial welcome to city
Sizes
The sizes for these blankets are unrelated to standard T/F/Q/K, at least as far as I can tell. Do most people use them just on their central body or long enough to cover feet or what? I’m thinking of one for my teenage son, who still comes in to my room because he can’t sleep and falls sound asleep in under five minutes. I’ve already done colllwge, so he has to go without me, and needs to sleep at least a few times during the semester
Coach Laura
I’ve already done college – Funny!
I think central body is the idea. Covering feet would be extraneous.
Wildkitten
No idea on the blankets, but other things that help me sleep include a white noise machine and an eye-mask to block out noise. I also like to fall asleep listening to podcasts. I used to listen to talk radio to fall asleep as a teenager. I think something about listening to another human talk allows my brain to stop talking itself. Meditation apps can work too. I listen with headphones so as to not disturb partners, but it’d also work for roommates. Those might all be things to try to see if any of them help so he has a tool box before dealing with a new location and a roommate!
Sizes
Thanks! We used to put on David Sedaris. I thought he enjoyed the humor, until it became clear that it was really just the soft speaking voice he liked. Once he got old enough to understand what was happening, that lost its appeal. You’ve given me a couple new ideas to try.
Wildkitten
I am going to have a full life reset shortly – new job, new city, new apartment. I want to do what I can right off the bat to get set up in good routines. Gretchen Rubin is all about how fresh starts are the best times to set new habits. Does anyone have tips or tricks or worksheets or advice on how to go about doing this? Thanks!
Anon
Do you have your dog?
Coach Laura
Did I miss a dog update? You don’t know how often I’ve thought of you and hoped for a reunion.
Wildkitten
Still no dog update. I will ask for an update from Mr. K tomorrow. This weekend is drop dead deadline of when I call the cops. Moving next week. Thanks for caring, y’all. I really appreciate it. :-)
Coach Laura
Fingers crossed wk!
Cookbooks
I’m with the other others–when I saw your post that you got a job and were going to move, I was hoping that you’d be moving with your dog!
As for good habits, what are the things you want to change? Start doing them the way you want to do them right at the beginning, so that you way you’re get yourself into a good habit. I’ve always kept important paperwork, but they inevitably wound up shuffled in with other, less important things. When I moved, one of the first things I did was to get a few decorative file boxes from IKEA. As long as I keep sorting bills, tax info, whatever, as they come, I know where everything is.
Wildkitten
She’d love a road trip across the country and she’d love the new city I am moving too so moving is not necessarily without her. <3
Sizes
Maybe this is too basic, but have you researched how you will support your good routines? If you plan to swim regularly, where is the pool, does it have showers, what are the hours? If you’ll be using public transit, what routes, specifically? If you’ll be biking, that’s harder to figure out, but you can still get some idea from maps available online. Once you’re there and hella busy unpacking and settling in at work, it can be all too easy to grab a quick bite wherever, and figure out you’ll find places that fit your budget/diet later, but then you wake up several months later, and realize you haven’t made the change. Good luck with it all!
Wildkitten
This is what I’ve been trying to do and is exactly the kind of advice I need! Thank you!
Liz
I might need to post this tomorrow when it’s earlier in the day. My eye has been twitching. I work in school administration and thought the end of the school year and reduction of stress might help, but it still twitches during the day off and on. Any other thoughts, or your favorite ideas to help reduce stress? I’m hoping a vacation coming up might help as well. I love my job, but the stress is rough. :(
Lorelai Gilmore
Slow yoga. It is amazing. Totally cures my eye twitch :)
Anonymous
More sleep and cold compresses on the eye
Bonnie
My eye twitches when I’m very anxious or stressed too. The vacation will also help. In the meantime, try some deep breathing exercises, a glass of wine or even a spinner.
anony
For me, the only thing that stopped a constant eye twitch was a major (but temporary) reduction in caffeine.
Gemma
Every time I hear about weighted blankets, I think of Lucinda Williams’ song Lonely Girls.
“Heavy blankets cover Lonely Girls” – Lucinda Williams
Caitlyn
Ohh I literally brought a weighted blanket just last week, and I gotta say it is so nice!