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I think this week I'll devote coffee breaks to some last minute gift ideas — including today's deal of the day on Amazon: my camera! I got the Canon S95 a few months ago (gift from my parents) and have loved it so far — it's easy to point and click, takes quality pictures, and has fun features (such as allowing you to set it up so it will take the picture when someone winks, or only when someone's smiling).
Although it's tempting to just rely on my cell phone to take pictures (particularly of my son), I always regret it when it's time to create a photo book — the quality with the camera pictures is so, so much higher.
The Canon S95 is normally $399, but it's $229 today at Amazon (and eligible for free one-day shipping.) Canon PowerShot S95 10 MP Digital Camera with 3.8x Wide Angle Optical Image Stabilized Zoom and 3.0-Inch LCD
P.S. : If you're (or someone you love is) into fancier cameras, do note: Amazon is allegedly having their lowest prices of the season on DSLR lenses.
Sales of note for 10.24.24
- Nordstrom – Fall sale, up to 50% off!
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off! Suits are included in the 30% off!
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything, and redeem Stylecash!
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – Friends & Family event, 30% off sitewide.
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Up to 30% off on new arrivals
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off entire purchase, plus free shipping no minimum
- White House Black Market – Buy more, save more; buy 3+ get an extra 50% off
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Samantha
Threadjack – a question about skirts.
I’m looking for a skirt that is mostly fitted through the hips, but has some flare at the hem. I’ve seen this described as a “fit and flare” skirt or a “fluted” skirt.
For example: http://tinyurl.com/c366jqw.
Any suggestions for this type of skirt, or comments on this general style?
This just looks more flattering on me than a regular pencil skirt, and is comfortable to boot. But my general style has occasionally veered towards frumpification, so I’m wary. :)
Cb
I think that one is amazing, professional but interesting, but I worry that the more traditional fluted skirts look a bit “lady who lunches,” which can sometimes be awesome but maybe not exactly the look you’re going for?
Sydney Bristow
I don’t think I would call that one in the link a fluted skirt, but I really like it. I think of fluted skirts more as the ones that look wavy along the hem. Not sure that is the best way to describe it.
What about a-line skirts? I think of those as a non-frumpy but comfy alternative to actual fluted skirts.
Anon
This?
http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/Womens-Skirts/Knee-Length-Skirts/BQ011/Womens-Flippy-Wool-Skirt.html
Always a NYer
Not sure I like the skirt, but the name makes me smile =D
Sydney Bristow
Yes, that is what I think of for fluted skirts. They aren’t always as pronounced as that one, which I actually think is pretty cute and not frumpy. Maybe I just have my terminology wrong though.
mamabear
I’m wearing this one today
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/louben-flared-skirt/3082135?cm_cat=datafeed&cm_ite=louben_flared_skirt:289440&cm_pla=bottoms:women:skirt&cm_ven=Froogle&mr:referralID=NA&mr:trackingCode=92C10E69-1968-DF11-9DA0-002219319097
but it’s shorter on me (just below knee)
And despite having just returned from lunch, I’m not a “Lady who Lunches.”
I think you should wear what best flatters you. If it flatters you, it will not be frumpy.
Classof2011
I think it depends on your age. There is a fine line with this style. For example, most of the reviews on Nordstrom’s web site for the Louben flared skirt are from women over 60…
Samantha
Thanks Sydney Bristow, I like A-line skirts for mostly non-office wear, but they seem a lot more casual to me than pencil skirts. So I’m looking at slightly flared skirts as an alternative to the pencil silhouette.
Thanks Anon for the Boden link, hadn’t seen that one before despite my recent Boden-addiction. Maybe what I’m looking for is not so much fluted as slightly flared.
Mamabear, maybe you have this one? Similar, but shorter. http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/louben-panel-skirt-petite/2965415?origin=keywordsearch&resultback=500 Looks nice and the flare seems gentle enough (not too “flippy”, to use Boden’s term).
mamabear
No, I have the other one, but I’m 5’10”. :)
Sydney Bristow
Yeah, the casual point makes sense to me. I think fabric has a lot to do with it. Banana Republic had some great a-line options about 7 years ago that I thought looked very professional. They totally stick in my memory because they didn’t have my size and I really wanted one!
Anonymous
I don’t think they’re frumpy. I have no hips and no rear to speak of, I prefer these to pencil skirts because they give me the illusion of more shape. At least on my body type (I need something to balance out my linebacker shoulders) I find them very flattering.
Herbie
Reporting in on this weekend’s cookie bake! It was a blast. We made three different types of cookies in addition to those everybody brought. Drank some champagne, ate some good snacks, left a batch of cookies in the oven a bit too long… Really, really fun and can’t wait to do it again next year. Thanks again Mama Bear for the brilliant idea.
LMo
Made a huge batch of Bunkster’s peppermint bark as gifts for everyone at the office over the weekend. It was so easy, it is delicious, and it looks awesome. Excited to hand it out.
Sydney Bristow
This sounds like way more fun than my own personal cookie bake this weekend (read: me alone in my apartment baking 4 types of cookies). I need to get a better apartment where I could entertain and have friends over for a cookie bake!
Scared Anony
So my tests are Wednesday for the lump I found. I’ll give you all an update later that day… I’m less scared than I was last week. Wine is a lovely tranquilizer… ;-)
Woods-comma-Elle
Good luck, I’m sorry this is happening to you.
AT
Whatever the results, you will get through it! And while I sincerely hope you have wonderful support in your “real” life, you should know that there are scores of women in this virtual community rooting for you, and a wealth of advice and empathy for whatever the outcome, good or bad.
Eleanor
Second this.
a.
Third! I’ll be thinking of you.
AnonInfinity
Good luck! I’ll be sending positive vibes your way!
soulfusion
I missed your initial post about finding a lump but wanted to let you know I have been where you are and I will tell you for me – the waiting was the absolute worst part. I don’t know if that is any great comfort other than to tell you that waiting felt worse than knowing it was definitely cancer. From the day my doctor pointed out the lump to the date I was diagnosed with cancer was only 9 days but they were the hardest of the whole ordeal (for me). But I’ve learned that everyone handles these things differently. Very differently so take my advice with a grain of salt . . . I found creating an action plan oddly comforting during that middle-ground waiting period. I read everything I could find on breast cancer and biopsies and I researched doctors and even set up a second opinion appointment. But most helpful to me was to make a list of the people I would tell if it turned out to be cancer and even specified whether I would call or email them on my list. This list of people I loved was a huge comfort to me as I waited for the results as I knew I had people who were there ready to support me before they ever knew it was necessary. If it turns out to be breast cancer or if you have any questions about biopsies or anything, please let me know. I would be more than happy to share my experience with you. Best of luck, you’ll be in my thoughts.
Bonnie
Good luck.
anon
I was feeling all smug because I managed to buy 75% of my gifts online without paying a single cent in shipping costs.
Until today, when I paid for second-day delivery on a Shutterfly calendar I threw together in 20 minutes. Ridiculous, and could’ve been done a month ago, but I was SO SURE I’d have time to make DH’s grandparents homemade food gifts right before Christmas. Riiiight. While spending $25 on a calendar is ridiculous, it IS adorable (all because it’s filled with cute pictures of DS).
Formerly Preggo Angie
Did the exact same thing!
Woods-comma-Elle
Dear hive
I have lived with my current roommate for 2.5 years and we are now moving out as she is moving in with her boyfriend. I don’t have very long to find a place (long story, prospective new roomie dropping out, Christmas/holidays etc.). I have always quite liked the idea of living by myself and now the opportunity is there. I’m earning a lot more and I don’t really like the idea of living with a random stranger, and none of my friends are in situations where they are thinking about moving.
Anyway, today I saw an apartment which I love love love. However, it is expensive. I always knew living alone would be expensive, but I am changing my mind every two minutes about whether this particular place is ‘too’ expensive.
Basically, with paying all the bills etc. myself, it would mean that I wouldn’t be able to save as much as I could if I was living in a cheaper place. For the first time, I am earning decent money and I want to enjoy it, I’m just not sure if putting it all towards this apartment is sensible.
On the one shoulder there is the gorgeous new apartment fairy, whispering about my own place to call home and telling me to go for it, and the fact that I would be all organised before Christmas instead of having to worry about where I am going to live, come January. On the other hand there is the ‘why would you pay this much rent when you could be buying shoes’ fairy.
I’ve done a lot of number-crunching today and I just can’t decide if it’s worth it, so I’d love your thoughts on what I should be thinking about here.
anon
Some things to consider: Is it close to work? Friends and family? Services you use frequently (grocery store, dry cleaner, shops, etc.)? Does the apartment’s proximity to these amenities make it worth the cost, financially and/or emotionally?
Are you a homebody or someone who prefers to go out more? If you’re a homebody type, I’d say yes, it is absolutely worth springing for a place that’s a little nicer as long as it doesn’t interfere with your long-term financial goals.
How long do you see yourself living here? If it proves to be too expensive over time, you could always look for something different.
Anon
Without giving actual numbers (unless you want to), can you give us some percentages?
What % of your monthly take home would your new prospective roomie-free rent be? What do your other monthly fixed expenses (utilities, loan payments etc) add up to?
momentsofabsurdity
Don’t forget these! My utilities costs went wayyyyyyyy down when splitting between 2 roommates – they used to run somewhere in the $150/mo range when I was living alone, now they’re around $30-40.
Woods-comma-Elle
Thanks, anons.
I have also thought about the above points, mainly the fact that it’s in my current building which I love and is convenient for work etc. The only thing I am thinking about there is I would still have to pay for transport for work, whereas I could in theory live closer to work and walk, and save money that way and be able to afford something more expensive.
I go out quite a bit, but it’s always been important for me for my home to be somewhere I really enjoy spending time, but I’m not sure if this takes it a bit too far.
So percentages…
The rent would be 35-38% of my salary, depending on whether I was able to negotiate it down.
Bills, loan payments, cellphone, gym membership, transport, insurance, etc. altogether as ‘fixed costs’ would be another 32%.
Looking at those figures, it’s pretty scary that pretty much 70% of my salary would be gone on fixed costs, but I have no idea if that’s even particularly unusual (I remember reading somewhere that rent is usually about 1/3 of your salary).
Looking at the situation right now, those same costs would add up to 26% on rent and fixed costs around the same, which is quite scary.
This is good, I like numbers. Now I just need someone to tell me what they mean and whether 70% is completely ridiculous!
Anon
So currently, 26 % of your monthly take-home goes towards rent+fixed costs, but if you take a solo apartment, it will jump to 70%?
Hmm. That is a big jump. I also thought the rent to income ratio was ideally 20%, not 1/3, but I also don’t live in NYC/London/Tokyo :)
Woods-comma-Elle
Oh no, rent is currently 26%, would go up to %35-38. Fixed costs in total (loans, bills etc) PLUS rent are currently about 60%, would go up to 70%.
SF Bay Associate
Yikes, IMO, 35% is way too much if you have other decent choices. If your second best option is like 30% of your salary, maaaaaaaaybe 35% is reasonable, but even in my expensive area, I really try to keep rent to about 25%. As pretty as they are, you don’t need granite countertops, new fixtures, a soaking tub, hardwood floors, or a wood-burning fireplace in a rental. You need a safe, clean, reasonably comfortable place to live which is a reasonable commute distance from work which allows you to save for your emergency fund, retirement, a down payment on property, or whatever. I’d rethink.
Ellen
FOOEY on percenteges. If you like the place, who cares what % you pay for something.
I want to live, NOT count dollars and cents. And I hope the GUY I decide to marry will respect me b/c I have a degree and am earning some money at my law firm to go for expenses.
Now, I live very frugelly, but when I find the right guy, I will let him pay the bills, even if the manageing partner gives me a raise and a bonus.
a.
I would agree with this. I lived someplace that was near 35% last year, and, while I loved the details (built-ins! claw-foot tub! original hardwood! giant windows streaming light through the branches of an ornamental pear tree!), I did not love feeling like I had to scrimp and save every month to be able to contribute to my IRA and savings account.
Now, I live in someplace that’s a lot more erm, basic, but with a commensurate reduction in price. I miss the windows and the tub, but the extra money in my bank account goes a loooooong way towards soothing the pain. This place is also three minutes away from work, which is equally amazing.
Obviously, only you can decide what’s the best option for you, but I just thought I’d throw my experience out there, since it seems vaguely similar.
a.
…I was agreeing with SF Bay Associate, not ELLEN, in case that was in any way UNCLEER.
Kelly
I think the general rule is your entire committed expenses shouldn’t be more than 50-60% of your take home pay. You should have savings for retirement, long term (e.g. buying a place), short term (e.g. vacations, friends weddings) and emergency savings (e.g. medical issue, new tires for your car), plus as a single professional you’ll want enough money for shoes and going out!
You def want your home to be a nice retreat, but if you’re questioning it, it probably is too expensive.
meara
Ooh, one thing to consider is if it’s in your current building, moving would be easy/cheap. Whereas if you find a new place, you will have to at the least hire a truck and buy beer for friends, and at the most hire movers. Will that difference in cost cover a bit of the difference with a cheaper apartment? Or no?
cfm
It sounds like your two choices aren’t live with roomie and save money, live without and go hungry. Can you give us an estimate on the difference in prices? In my area, I can get a studio for say 1400 and if I got a two bedroom it would be about 1100 for my share. For me, 300 dollars is so worth it not to live with a stranger. Think about things like area, safety (some people like having a roommate) and what that piece of mind of having your own place is worth.
Woods-comma-Elle
Yeah this is a good point – the one bedrooms are around the $2k area, two bedrooms around $1300 (I live in an expensive area, this sucks because I love it and areas closer to work aren’t as nice), which is quite a difference. I could probably get a studio for less than that, to be fair.
SF Bay Associate
$1.3k for a 2br?! Oh man, my very unimpressive 2br is $2.3k, and at the very low end of the market around here. Le sigh.
Woods-comma-Elle
That’s per person (i.e. presuming with a roommate), so total abour $2.6 so it’s not that different.
Kelly
I think she means $1300 per person for the two bedroom, as she said $2000 for a one bedroom lol.
SF Bay Associate
Aw, reading comprehension fail. Sorry, ladies.
PittsburghAnon
My 1 bedroom is $500.
*ducks*
Sydney Bristow
@PittsburgAnon- I seriously miss my $350/month place that included all utilities and cable. Don’t ever move!! It was a painful transition when I moved to NYC.
P
When I was in college, I rented in Pittsburgh for $174. I agree with Sydney Bristow – don’t move!!
PittsburghAnon
There are a lot of reasons I like living here, and the rent is just one of them. @SydneyBristow, P – I don’t plan to!
MelD
I do think there comes a point where it’s better if you live alone. I’ve seen among my friends that around 30 is that point where you really start to need/want your own space, even if it is a tiny space. I know I’d much rather live in a 400sqft studio alone than have to share a larger place with anyone at this point.
That said, are the areas nearer to work that “aren’t as nice” really bad neighborhoods or are you in a fairly posh neighborhood now and the areas nearer to work are still decent? If it’s the latter, I really think you owe it to yourself to at least look at places closer to work. What’s the point of living in a really posh apartment in a neighborhood you love if you’re going to be so broke you can’t afford to leave?
Terry
How many other apartments have you seen? Is this the only one you’ve looked at or the standout among many? If the former, I suggest holding off because, with an incomplete picture of the market, you may be able to find something similar at a more comfortable price. If the latter, I would seriously consider it, especially if you think you’ll be happy there for many years. Moving is expensive too, and you can eat up a lot of savings with one month’s double rent. Happy hunting!
Anon
I think it’s important to live alone at least once if they opportunity comes up. I learned interesting things about myself and am so very glad I did, making your own nest is a special pleasure you can’t have most of the time if you get married, need roomies, etc. Go for it, whether this or a cheaper place.
SunnyD
I splurged on an apartment after my roommate got married and I was going to be living alone. I was in DC, but living in the ‘burbs with roommate. I decided to bite the huge rent bullet because (1) I really wanted to move into DC and quit life in the burbs, (2) I could afford it, (3) I knew I wasn’t going to be living in DC long-term so I wouldn’t be paying a bunch of rent forever, (4) the place was fabulous, and (5) moving into the apartment allowed me to walk to work, the grocery store, restaurants, etc. and I didn’t have to take mass transit anymore (I’m a Texan; we’re not used to mass transit and I always hated it). I am so glad I spent the money and got the place I really wanted. But I only lived there for a year so it didn’t interfere with any long-term financial goals.
Kady
Is the fancy apartment big enough (and the lease flexible) so that you could take on a roommate a few months down the road if the numbers, in practice, are too burdensome? Your percentages are pretty common for even biglaw attorneys who live in high-COL cities.
Woods-comma-Elle
Sadly, no. It’s a one bedroom, but for context, I am in Big Law in Big (expensive) City.
Part of me is also like ‘I’m 30, I want to be able to afford somewhere nice’.
Now I think about it, though, I don’t really have any ‘long term financial goals’, so that might be why I’m so tempted…
KK
whoa. You’re 30 and you don’t have any long term financial goals? Just my two cents, but you should probably sit down and look at your whole financial situation before you make a decision here. Do you have enough saved up in case you get laid off or sick or something like that? Do you have any intention of buying real estate in the next ten years? What’s your retirement fund look like? Can you pay down your debt more aggressively? It seems like I’m going beyond the scope of your question, but I think “Can I afford it?” encompasses all of those things too.
MeliaraofTlanth
Without weighing in on whether or not it’s sensible, if you decide you don’t want a place of your own, do you perhaps live in NYC? I need to find someone in the next couple of weeks to take over my and my boyfriend’s bedroom/bathroom in our apartment so we can move before mid January (bf’s new job is paying moving costs if we move before then). The apartment is lovely, my roommates are nice and never around, and the space would be great for one person (bit cramped for two…)
That goes for any other corporetters out there–if you know of anyone looking for a place in NYC soon, have them email me at corporetteclothesswap@gmail.com (yes, I have a dummy email just for corporette posts. And yes, I just blatantly hijacked this in an attempt to solve my housing problems. I apologize for that).
Blonde Lawyer
To hijack a hijack – I have a friend needing a roommate stat in the southern NH/northern Mass area. Boston might work too but may be too pricey. Respond here if you are interested and then we can discuss getting in touch.
mamabear
I think one thing to consider is that if you’re in a rent control/rent stabilization area, you might have to initially spend more of your income than the percentages people mention to reap the long-term rewards.
This is assuming your rent will not be able to climb at the rate your salary climbs. I’m also assuming you’ve adequately contributed to your 401K and health plan before you calculate percentages of income.
Anon
If living in NYC, I loved living in Brooklyn (park slope) much more than Manhattan. It wasn’t much cheaper, nor was my place any bigger, but there were nice quality of life things and just as convenient to most things, actually more than when I lived on the east side green train.
Anon
ps hehe then i moved to seattle, where i now enjoy my huge penthouse condo with parking and washer dryer! i hear the people saying ‘don’t move from the cheaper place’ having made many of those transitions- i recall paying $176/mo in college for a rental, hah! big city more than 10-20x this amount! sometimes I’m amazed what I’m used to re: cost. I watch househunters international (anyone else addicted??) and am always like “how do these people from texas/midwest/northern minnesota have money for a second home in caribbean/costa rica/italy???? then i realize: they often pay 10 times less for most everything in life compared to what us coastal city people pay. then again i love my city life and wouldn’t give it up:) despite not saving goads of cash- happy now, don’t need a second home!
bit of a ramble there…
Squirmy
Venting and looking for commiseration I guess, though if anyone has advice I’d be much obliged.
I’m a young female lawyer working in-house for a local government agency. My supervisor is female (non-lawyer) and has a daughter exactly my age. We get along totally great and she is absolutely the best boss I’ve ever had.
The two of us have a lot of contact with our agency’s outside counsel. He is a really well-respected partner at a large-ish firm who is about the same age as my boss.
Lately I can’t shake the feeling that Boss is flirting with outside counsel. It’s like when you notice someone’s verbal tick and then you can’t unnotice it. Since I got this in my head, everything Boss says to outside counsel seems to prove the theory. She’s been married to the same person for over 20 years, but I’m not sure it’s a happy marriage. I don’t think outside counsel is married.
I would love to say that if she has a thing for outside counsel then it is none of my business, but a lot of times it’s just the three of us in a meeting or on a phone call or on an email chain and some of the things she says make me feel squirmy. It’s the uproarious laughter at not very funny comments, the teasing about the time at which he responded to her email (“What were you doing at work so late?”). I know she really appreciates the assistance we’re getting from him, and I don’t think she’s ever worked with a law firm before, so maybe it’s just a matter of perception, but to my mind she goes way over the top in her praise of his work product. We’re paying him $400/hour, he should be giving us a high quality work product!
Today she showed me an e-card she wants to send to him from both of us that is a play on a joke he made once and turning it into a compliment of him. I guess it’s a nice gesture, but since I have this flirty thing stuck in my head, it feels squirmy to me.
Probably I’m overreacting. Probably I should let it go/ignore it. Any tips for wiping that part of my brain?
Eleanor
That stinks. I don’t think you’re necessarily over-reacting. Your boss may be flirting without intending to, or without intending anything disloyal to her husband by it – maybe she just isn’t paying enough attention to her own behavior. In either case, although I really sympathize with the awkward position that puts you in, I don’t really think there’s anything you could say or do, given that she’s your boss and it’s not even entirely clear whether she is flirting. Maybe you could suggest a different e-card? Or, if he’s the only person she intends to send an e-card to, ask her about cards for other outisde entities, so maybe she’ll realize it’s bizarre to send one only to him.
Blonde Lawyer
Could you say “hmmm, I’m worried that e-card might come across flirty. I don’t want him thinking I’m hitting on him” and see how she responds? If she is brazen, she might say “that is the point, I’m hitting on him” in which case you could say “then take my name off of it so it is clear.” In reality she probably won’t want to admit her intent and will just say “oh, I guess I should tone it down” or something like that. Her response might say a lot.
Godzilla
Perhaps I’m a Snarky McBitterpants but who on earth still sends e-cards? Unless they’re a joke? Or 13? Actually, I don’t even think 13-year-olds do it. It would be one thing if it’s an online holiday greeting from a company sent to a bajillion people but something like this is just weird.
a.
My program coordinator.
Last year’s holiday e-card sang at me. I can’t wait to see if she’s going to top it this year.
mamabear
OMG what is wrong with flirting? Really. It it because they’re icky old people? Flirting with him does not mean she’s sleeping with him. Even if she were (and I highly doubt it,) even if she wants to, it’s not your concern.
Herbie
Old people are not permitted to flirt. Stop flirting, olds!
(I had a similar reaction.)
cfm
No it is because she is married! Plus there is the 3rd wheel element, she is flirting while cc-ing the OP on the emails. I’d feel weird about it no matter the age, and if the genders were reversed and it was watching my married male mentor flirt with a woman. I think its completely normal to feel uncomfortable. I would feel uncomfortable too. That said, really not much you can do about it.
mamabear
News flash. Married people flirt. That’s why the phrase “harmless flirting” exists.
OP could decline to be in the “from” line of the e-card she feels is too complimentary.
cfm
Different values then. I’ve never thought “harmless flirting” applies to marriages. Most of my married friends would never flirt with other people. So if that’s the way you feel, you can see how it would be skeevy.
I don’t flirt with men and I’m not even married just in a four year relationship. Plenty of married people don’t flirt, and plenty of people would disagree with the term “harmless” flirting. (For some people flirting is prob the norm, people have different ideas about what is appropriate/normal which is what makes the world go round :)
s in Chicago
A lot of married people flirt. Heck, the nice grandmotherly lady at the grocery store checkout often does it. It should not immediately raise the flag that he or she is wanting to act on it.
I think people deserve the benefit of the doubt. And common sense says if she truly had her sights on something illicit , then there wouldn’t be the cc. I’m usually a bit of a prude on things. But honestly, none of the things pointed out (and I’m assuming this is the worst that could be drummed up) sound sexual in the least to me. Even if the genders were reversed (male supposedly flirting with female), I don’t think that would make me think any different.
KK
Put me in the married people flirt camp. They just do. All people do. It’s a natural instinct and you can’t just turn it off when you get married. It is not the same as cheating and it’s not even necessarily in the same ballpark, all a matter of degree/intention. I think there could be a difference in what you define as “flirting,” but from the description, the boss has done nothing inappropriate from a marital standpoint. Not yet. The e-card just seems sort of unprofessional. Again, who sends e-cards like that? But not a big deal.
cfm
Sorry disagree with the all people do. I don’t, 80% of my married/committed friends dont and I would find it really disrespectful if my husband was flirting. Agree that nothing so far is like outrageous, but I def would kind of roll my eyes at the woman.
MelD
Maybe I’m missing something, but I don’t really see anything in the initial comment that suggests anything that’s overtly flirtatious or remotely indicating an inappropriate relationship. It seems like they may have a sense of humor you don’t really understand. It’s also possible she has worked with outside counsel before (or at somewhere that hired outside counsel) and they were lackluster. I know that’s an issue we have at my workplace and people are a whole lot friendlier to the diligent outside counsel mostly because they’re grateful we are getting what we pay for.
Anon
agree with others, us married people flirt harmlessly a sometimes. not often, but sometimes when i have a connection, i enjoy it just in the moment, nothing actionable. it is fun and keeps life warm. also if she is cheating, none of your business, really. stay out of it, do not get involved. not your business.
honestly, some of those flirty encounters have been lovely highlights of otherwise stressful or full times. best one this year: on hectic business trip to beijing, walked to tianejmin square (spelling wrong i know late here so lazy) with colleague at midnight (only time had to see it)- as we are walking by Very Stiff Guard Standing on Pedestal Behind Fence, he calls out “hello! i say “hello!” he says “so pretty!” i say “thank you!” it was hilarious- clearly not in his duties or likely allowed, and in a place with such repressive history in the ‘misty’ atmosphere of thick warm night pollution and deserted all around us. wish i’d kept it going for a few more seconds to see what’d happen! not exactly outside counsel but it was a feminine and amusing moment in an otherwise all-business week of black suits. and 100% harmless, told my dear beloved husband all about it.
AGREE on ecards. got 4 today, did not ‘open’ them at all. hate. why? give it up people
Cajunqueen
I’m curious – why do people hate e-cards? As a busy lawyer and parent and volunteer, I find e-cards a lifesaver if I can’t get a real birthday card out in time, or I want to send a holiday greeting to the people at my client agency that I work with on a regular basis. Unless they are from family, paper cards just end up in the trash. Besides, isn’t it the thought that counts?
On a related note, do Christmas cards count if you receive them after Christmas? We have certain relatives whose noses get out of joint if they don’t receive Christmas cards before Christmas.
Anon
late, I think fine. the ecards are just another annoying email you have to open. it feels so ‘easy’ that it doesn’t feel heartfelt. also those companies than start spamming you with email. and i hate ones that make noise when im’ at my work desk, sounds like i’m not working. can’t fully explain it, just hate them. i don’t like the cheesy videos or messages on them either, maybe it’s that it also takes time you can’t control unless you decline to watch.
Interview Advice Needed!
Please, a little quick help from the hive:
I am thrilled that I have a 2nd interview with an employer I really want to hire me! We had a fantastic 1st interview last week and he told me that I was the most experienced person he is interviewing – all the others are recent graduates / not working.
From what I could tell, we “clicked” almost immediately and the interview (over 1 hour) felt more like a conversation than a traditional interview. We had a lot to talk about and I think I have a great shot at getting the job. The office is small and his other colleague has been working for/with him for almost 12 years now.
He requested a 2nd interview today. Long story short, we are having the interview at a bar down the street from the office because the office building is closed and it would otherwise be just the two of us in the entire building. Both of our work obligations this week made it impossible for us to meet during the work day. It is scheduled for the 6:00 hour and is a 2 hour drive, meaning I’ll be leaving in about an hour.
No, he is not creepy. He basically said, “well, let’s meet for a beer at X time.”
My question: my friend has suggested I drink a soda. I am an adult woman and feel like part of this is showing my ability to fit in – I feel like drinking a soda is a bit lame.
Opinions, please? Thank you!
Always a NYer
First, congrats!!! Second, if you want to order a beer, order a beer. You’re a grown woman who knows her own limits. Do whatever you feel comfortable with.
anon
It’s an interview? No alcohol at the interview, in my opinion. And you are an adult – why are you worried about fitting in? No one is going to take away your adult card for drinking soda.
Kelly
I’m a young woman and drank at all my after hours interviews at restaurants (not at lunch) that I had to drive home from (the host was drinking also.) If you’re regular drinker than one drink is not going to impair you.
LMo
Please do not drink a soda. If he said, “Let’s meet for a beer” you should drink a beer. Smaller firms are way more about fit than any of that traditional interview junk because they actually have to spend lots of time around you, and sometimes a good fit includes being able to have a beer. My (very small) firm specifically invited me out for a drink post offer to get a feel for this, I think.
You can always pull the “oh, what are you going to get?” move if in doubt.
AT
Meeting at a bar is a little odd, I mean, aren’t there any coffee shops? But I don’t think you NEED to drink a soda. However, you will be driving for two hours there (and presumably two hours back), so you can reasonably stick to just a soda or a coffee or whatever if you would be more comfortable with that, and I don’t think it would be “lame” — you just say, “I have a long drive back, I think I’ll stick with a coke for now.” If you want to have a drink (and will be safe to drive by the time you need to get back on the road), I don’t see anything wrong with having A drink. A beer that you sip or a glass of wine preferably. The fact that he will presumably be drinking beer skews the calculus somewhat, but I think ordering a really frou-frou drink in these circumstances might be a little weird — pushes it a little bit further into “date” territory than “interview” territory. That said, we’re grownups. Getting along with your coworkers and enjoying a drink with them after work says a lot of about the level of job satisfaction you might have. Nearly my whole office has a glass of wine together every Friday… it’s a nice wind down to the week, and I think it is indicative of how well we all get along, while also helping maintain that.
Interview Advice Needed!
OP here:
Just to clarify: yes, I was intending to drink one drink only.
Thank you all for the input so far, I appreciate it!
mamabear
Around this time last yeat I had an informational interview in a bar, due to circumstances similar to yours, and I just waited to see what my interviewer ordered. He ordered a diet coke so I did the same. If he’d ordered wine, I would have done that , too.
Herbie
Put down my vote as drink what you want.
a.
Mine, too, although I am not horribly experienced in these matters.
An
Order a beer but only drink half.
lucky07
I say unless it makes you uncomfortable, order a beer, but make it something lower in alcohol. Or maybe a cider, if they have it. You know your own tolerance and taste best. I agree with some of the above posters- this may be a personality test interview, to see how well you fit into firm culture.
karenpadi
If it’s a smaller firm, doing business over an after-work beer is pretty normal. I started at a smaller firm where I had my final interview and job offer over beers at 5pm on a Friday.
I say have a beer. If you like all kinds of beer, do try for a lower alcohol content (usually light beers and lagers). I think it’s fine to nurse the beer and, if the interview runs long, to switch to water (using the drive home as an excuse).
Unless you have a religious or cultural reason to not drink, I strongly encourage a beer (not wine). Personality “fit” is huge in small firms and you want to fit in.
Equity's Darling
I’m looking for sports bra recommendations! I have a pretty big chest, but I find enell wayyy to constricting, and very uncomfortable. I want something that’s got good support, but allows me to breathe.
Any suggestions?
phillygirlruns
as a D+, i find lululemon’s ta-ta tamer good, but not AMAZING. i crossfit and wear this for most medium-impact and shorter high-impact stuff (300-400m runs, box jumps, double-unders). i’ve worn it for longer, but still short, runs (1-2 miles) and it’s adequate but not the greatest – i’d double-bag with a shelf tank for that.
for running, saucony’s “motion sensor” cross-back sports bra is hands down my favorite. never need a second bra or shelf tank, and it’s got some crazy sports-bra-voodoo that lets it be ridiculously supporting without being constrictive OR busted ugly. will link in a separate reply.
phillygirlruns
saucony sports bra on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Saucony-Motion-Sensor-Sports-Running/dp/B001E0DUIY
anon
Have you checked out Title 9?
new poster
I like the one made by Wacoal–I just bought a new stack of them at Macy’s friends & family sale. They are in the lingerie dept.
Anonymous
I am a DD and the Moving Comfort Fiona is amazing. Soccer, running, dance class…you name it, Fiona keeps those babies in place!
goirishkj
Love Fiona and Juno is great too for this 34D runner. REI sells them both and if you join as a member you get a percentage dividend each year. I love it since I so rarely find sports bras in my size on sale.
M
+1 for Juno – 32D here!
Circe
Moving Comfort Maia Maximum Control Underwire Sports Bra – I prefer it to the Fiona (and am E)
RK
+1 vote for Title 9!
JC
I work at a running store and while I myself am not well endowed, we sell the most ENELL brand bras to woen who are, and most women rave about them!
Jenny
My 36Fs refuse to wear anything other than a Moving Comfort bra with adjustable straps from Title 9.
Jenny
This is the one. http://www.titlenine.com/product/sports-bras-and-undies/medium-high-impact-sports-bras/310184.do?sortby=ourPicks
Equity's Darling
Thanks everyone! This was exactly what I was looking for!
I’m doing some online shopping tonight, I really appreciate all the input:)
anon
None of those would get me through my marathon (32F here)
The Panache Ultimate Underwire Sports Bra is very good.
The Shock Absorber bras are great, but difficult to put on. But they are wonderful once on.
The Lynx is actually a great bra. Wore that for the marathon with almost no chafing and enough support. And its not heavy, so its good for hot days.
Most of the recommended bras are fine if you are a D or smaller. Not if you are larger than that. Or they are fine if you don’t run more than 10 miles at a time. I have probably 15 sports bras because I have had to try that many to find any that are supportive enough which don’t chafe for long runs
Calling Kanye East...
Kanye – I’d like to get my mother one of your necklaces for Christmas. I don’t see any way to change shipping options on Etsy. Can you ship so it arrives before Christmas? Please let me know how to get in touch w/ you to work out the details.
Kanye East
Hey there! Sorry, I haven’t been around much; big holiday rush + too many consecutive weekends in the office.
I ship USPS Priority Mail, which is supposed to take 1-3 business days. The USPS won’t guarantee delivery by the 24th, but they’re saying (as of today) that Priority packages shipped by the 21st should arrive on or before Saturday.
You can convo me through Etsy or email me at gewgawsgimcracks [at] gmail [dot] com re specifics.
Calling Kanye East...
thanks! sent an e-mail to your gmail acct.
ceb
You said that “the office is small.” When you work in close quarters, it is more important that you get along socially with your co-workers. My guess is that part of this interview is to see how well the two of you interact away from the traditional interview setting. Also, why would he set up an interview in a bar if he didn’t expect you to enjoy a beer/wine/cocktail?
ceb
oops! this was a reply to the question above regarding having a cocktail at an interview at a bar.
Godzilla
For the anon bemoaning her FIL’s ability to keep his mouth shut, Hax answered a similar question last week: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/carolyn-hax-mom-doesnt-know-how-to-keep-secrets/2011/11/29/gIQATPYhwO_story.html
SF Bound
I am headed to the Bay Area for vacation next week. Can someone send me a link to the discussions on ‘what to do when in the bay area’ discussion (and for the future, is there a way to access these older discussions?) I will be there with my toddler. Thanks!
zora
you can use google to search a specific site. Enter the following into google, and it will search the comment threads.
trip san francisco site:corporette.com
Fashion Faux Pas
Has anyone successfully washed Theory stretch wool pants? If so, how?
anon
Yes! I wash mine. I use delicate wash from thelaundress (dot) com. They have instructions there about how to wash wool–basically, soak it in tepid water for as long as you like, swish around the detergent, rinse, then gently press with a towel (no wringing!). Lay flat to dry and steam if necessary. Voila! Much cheaper and better than dry cleaning. Although it is a bit more of a hassle, so once a month I just do all my suits at once.
N.
I haven’t washed Theory pants, but I have stretch wool pants that I wash in Eucalan. It’s no rinse (so basically the same method as described above but with no rinsing step), and it also contains lanolin which helps the wool retain some of its natural water resistance.
MaggieLizer
I share my secretary with a partner and he has delegated to me the task of writing a nice note inside the card that will enclose her holiday gift from both of us. When asked what I would write, I said “We really appreciate your hard work this year and look forward to continuing to work with you next year. Have a very happy holiday!” This was shot down as “too generic.” I’m at a loss as to what to say. Our secretary isn’t particularly perky; in fact one of the things I love most about her is that she punctuates our day with (often loud) curses directed toward the other side. Not sure that’s really holiday card material, though. Suggestions?
Herbie
“Happy f*ing holidays!” ? That’s not generic.
AD
Love it! – thanks for the laugh on a bad day at work!
Anonymous
“We love you. Never change or quit. Here’s a check.”
AnonInfinity
I am totally, 100%, writing this in my assistant’s card.
TechAnon
“To thank you for the excellent work you’ve done this year, I promise not to micromanage your work as closely as Partner micromanaged this note.”
Sorry, not helpful, but WTF, Partner?
SC
Love!
MaggieLizer
Fabulous.
SC
Ugh. I hate it when people ask me to do something personal and then don’t like the way I do it. Tell him to write his own damn card (but not really).
Terry
Compliment her (vocal) advocacy or sense of humor?
Anonymous
Anyone interested in a Corporette MeetUp at the Marine Corps marathon or 10k? (Other race/events OK, just a thought)
cbackson
Ooh, I would be interested in a Seattle – area Corporette running meetup of some type…
ML
I would be interested in a corporette running meetup (either just for fun or a race) in the SF bay area/peninsula!
Amy H.
Me too!
Anon
me too, in seattle!
Anon
oh sorry didn’t realize the running part:) just social for me (preggers)
a.
Do you mean the 10k in March? I could probably be convinced to do that, for meet-up purposes if not actual super hardcore racing :)
I will be running the Charlottesville 10 Miler on March 31st, though, if any DMV-area running Corporettes are interested in a fantastically-organized local race.
anon
Would love to do the Cville 10 miler this year, but I will be two weeks-ish post-partum. Probably not happening. :) I have been wanting to do it for a few years now, but for some reason it has never worked out.
conbrio
For women like me who would like to have tops that accommodate a bit of a tummy, it appears that there are several at miraclebody dot com. Bloomingdale’s carries a couple of them too. I’m going to order at least one – will report back.
Me
Another threadjack: What kind of hangers do you all use? A stylist whose blog I subscibe to suggested that everyone should use those non-slip huggable hangers you can get from Container Store, but the problem is, those don’t keep things like slinky, sleeveless shirts on the hanger as well as, say, a department store hanger with the little grooves in them, which is what I use currently. I know you can buy little hooks to go with them. Does anyone have a recommendation for good hangers? I’m downsizing my closet and space is a concern.
mamabear
I use the huggable hangers or whatever they’re called and I haven’t had any sleeveless silky shirts slip off of them. I really like these hangers because they really increase my effective closet space in my small closet.
That said, I don’t recommend the kind with the clips. I tried those for my skirts, and the clips don’t hold well, particularly if the item is heavy, like a lined work skirt tends to be.
Diana Barry
I cover my own hangers with yarn. It makes them non-slippy without too much bulk, plus it looks neat!
Like this
http://wipkits.blogspot.com/2010/03/yarn-covered-hangers.html
but I use only one hanger and 2 strands of yarn per side.
CN
I love the thin velvet hangers. I’ve never had any sleeveless shirts fall off, and they opened up so much room in my closet.
manatee
I use those as well and have not had any problems with slippage. The velvet or whatever they are covered with seems to cling to fabrics pretty well. I LOOOVE them. I use a tiered hanger with clips for all my suiting skirts, and regular hangers with clips for thicker (heavy wool) skirts.
Anon 3L
I used the wooden hangers, but silky tops don’t really stay on them all that great. Sometimes, I’ll salvage a hanger from the cleaners, or I’ll use the strap things inside the blouse to keep the blouse from slipping (all the way off).
anonm
Any new podcast recommendations? I’m looking for something just to drown out my own thoughts, and preferably it would be something funny rather than serious/intellectual (and please definitely nothing legal). Thanks!
CN
Have you listened to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast? Maron’s a great interviewer and he has tons of comedians/actors on his show.
anonm
Actually, make that anything funny–blogs, “top X lists”, etc. Podcasts are better for when I’m not at the computer, but at this point I need a lot of distraction.
manatee
I’m sorry about whatever you need distraction from :(
I like wrongnumbertexts.com. There are a bunch of associated sites linked in the header, but I think this is the funniest.
Equity's Darling
the Moth! I love their podcast! The stories are usually funny, though sometimes serious (not frequently). So good. My most beloved podcast, I look forward to it all week.
I also really like “This is That” from CBC….but I think its only funny if you’re Canadian….maybe I’m wrong, but I really doubt it.
Nonny
The first time I heard “This is That”, I thought it was real. The story was about a school that had decided to go bookless. As a book lover, I was appalled and thought the world was coming to an end. Once I realized (belatedly) that it was all made up, I (a) was extremely embarrassed, and (b) laughed uproariously.
Equity's Darling
That’s exactly what happened to me. I spent like 45 minutes convinced that Quebec was lowering it’s drinking age, and when I realized, I could not keep it together, I swear, I laughed at myself ALL day. So good. Yay!
Nonny, when I make it to the west coast, we will have to have coffee, because I feel like we’d get along:)
Kady
All Things Considered once did a news report on maple trees in New England exploding because a decrease in maple syrup demand meant that the trees weren’t getting tapped enough, then when cold weather set in, they would blow up. The report had sound effects and experts and everything. I was so concerned about the problem I called my husband up at work in a total panic. He laughed his ass off at me. It was April 1st.
anonm
Thanks all. I’m at work and I can’t listen to music because every song reminds me of something sad right now, so it helps just to have some voices in the background. Ha I can tell that WTF will need to be pretty low volume though, even with most of the office cleared out. And the websites will help when I’m home and don’t have work to distract my eyes.
Sydney Bristow
The funny podcasts i listen to arel The Nerdist (regular references to Dictor Who) and Ausha Tyler. They both curse a fair amount though.
Sydney Bristow
Or, you know, Aisha Tyler. Also, if you are nerdy (as I am and have realized some corporettes are) I also like The Dork Forest. It’s hosted by comedian Jackie Kaishen (?).
Anon
clientsfromhellDOTnet
lamebookDOTcom
redditDOTcom/r/funny/
and for podcasts: wait wait, don’t tell me!
Anon
along these lines, any good book recommendations, something chic-lit like (lighthearted, easy read… NOT depresso/serious)?…
NOLA
I got a Canon PowerShot SD 1300 IS for Christmas last year and I love it! I had stopped using my really nice Kodak digital camera because it was too big and awkward to carry so the small size of the PowerShot is great. It fits in my purse, even in a case and it actually takes action shots better than the supposedly better camera. I took pictures of my nephews jumping off the diving board at the lake last summer and it zoomed and focused perfectly. They were thrilled with the pictures. I highly recommend it, although there are probably newer versions by now.
a.
Quick PSA: I know they’re super hit or miss, but I just got back from TJ Maxx and they had some really nice cashmere sweaters for reeeeeeeeally nice prices. My local store usually sucks, too, so I can only imagine what a more legit place would have.
I ended up with a really gorgeous deep purple cardigan, with an interesting pleated front and (faux) leather snap closure. Am so looking forward to wearing it to my freezing-cold office tomorrow.
nona
Lands End Canvas – just scored a cashmere sweater for $40, and free shipping. I got the same one last year and its doesn’t pill. At all.
The sweater is marked down to $65, but if you use the 40% off code (Holly, PIN 1540), then it goes down another $20 bucks.
Just had to share
http://canvas.landsend.com/pp/CashmereSweater~213910_-1.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::NHK&CM_MERCH=IDX_Women-_-Sweaters&origin=index
nona
don’t know when the code expires, though
anonx1000
I haven’t tried out LE Canvas yet, though I want to – how does the sizing run?
Anonymous
Its cut lot slimmer than normal LE – I’d size down from anything you would order from their main line, though YMMV