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Updated: Jan 6, 2022 67 Comments · by

Coffee Break: Grace Loafers

Coffee Break |

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leopard-printed suede loafers from MMLF

What are your favorite loafers of the moment, readers? I've said before that they feel more modern than the round-toe ballet flat, particularly with cropped pants. I like the fun leopard printed suede here, and the general minimalist vibe of the loafers — not a really prominent sole or heel or buckle or vamp.

They're $295 at MM.LaFleur, available in six colors, sizes 34-43 (depending on color).

(Hunting for something similar? We've featured these Sam Edelman loafers before, as well as these Steve Madden ones that come in regular and wide widths. This one from Vionic looks great if you need comfort, and the Tory Burch loafers are all really highly rated at Nordstrom.

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Comments

  1. Diana Barry

    Piggybacking on the ski question from this morning, our kids (elementary and middle school) will learn to ski next month in Vermont. What base layers should I be getting them? They have parkas and ski pants so I figure we are OK there.

    • AIMS

      Long johns & wool socks. Look for hats designed to be worn under helmet. Gloves.

    • Woof

      Don’t buy cotton base layers, wool is great but pricey, synthetics from an outdoors brand will be better. Real ski socks, again no cotton, and hand and foot warmers for mittens and boots. After the base layer, a lightweight fleece and then the parka. New England is cold, and it is important for kids to be warm in order to like skiing.

      • NYCer

        +1 to all of this. Definitely a fleece layer between the base and parka. Warm mittens and a hat or headband that can go under the helmet.

        • Anonymous

          Doesn’t a hat or headband interfere with the fit and protection of the helmet? Helmets are pretty warm anyway. In fact, before helmets were commonly worn by adults, I had a ski instructor recommend wearing one instead of a hat specifically for warmth in cold, windy conditions.

        • Anonymous

          We do helmet-compatible coat hood OVER the helmet on the lift if necessary for warmth. Nothing under the helmet.

        • Is it Friday yet?

          No hat under the helmet, but you can do a balaclava – they’re meant to be worn under helmets. They’re great when it’s really cold, though helmets on their own are pretty warm.

    • Anonymous

      Are the new skiers? If so, I wouldn’t worry too much about all the base layers. They will likely tire before they get too cold. They need warm gloves/mittens and good socks. Leggings under snow pants is fine. If they have a base layer like an under armor from sports, that’s good.

    • Anonymous

      We use workout clothes from Old Navy as kids’ baselayers–fleece leggings or whatever thick, warm leggings they have, plus a long-sleeve tech tee (quarter-zip with a high collar is best). Top with a fleece midlayer.

    • Anom

      I’ve purchased this inexpensive pair of long johns for my elementary school aged girls:

      Rocky Thermal Underwear for Girls… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LYGU7UI

      A neck gaiter is a nice to have. Ski socks, gloves, goggles are necessary. Helmet can be rented. I’ve not tried a hat under a helmet. That doesn’t make sense to me since the helmet is closely fitted.

      • Anon

        +1 neck gaiter

        OMG I remember just wearing nordic-pattern ear bands for skiing because this was pre-helmet. So amazing to be alive considering I should not have survived the 1980s.

    • Serafina

      Agreed with the other commenters that you don’t need to spend much on base layers and can probably reuse a lot of what you already have:
      * I like leggings or long johns on ski pants. Synthetic ideal but if your ski pants are pretty waterproof you may get away with cotton leggings here.
      * Any synthetic/wool (non-cotton) base layer or workout top. I have a Costco shirt I love for skiing and workouts.
      * Any cheap fleece between the base and parka. I got a $15 Lands End fleece many years ago that’s great for skiing and hiking.
      * Ski socks are the one place it may be worth buying new. Look for longer wool/synthetic socks that aren’t too big.
      * Some kind of fleece neck gaiter or facemask is great and huge and keeping you warm. Again, you can go very cheap here.
      * Make sure gloves are warm and stay warm when wet – they’ll probably fall a lot.

    • Anonymous

      Costco has good long johns. Thick socks. Balaclava or gaitor. Ski goggles.

    • A

      We had merino base layers. Expensive but they’ve never once complained about cold. We size up so they last 2 seasons.

      Smartwool socks are indispensable. Don’t skimp on socks.

  2. monay

    On the financial thread, someone had a suggestion I’ve been mulling over: “tell your child that you will give them x amount up to $6000 if they earn and deposit it into an IRA. Under the gift limit, gets young people focused on retirement savings, and necessarily capped.” What are pros and cons of this approach, starting with high school jobs?

    • Anon

      I really can’t think of a con. Time value of $ is priceless. If you feel like they need to feel some pain from saving, maybe match 50% vs 100%. But all kid jobs are for needed $ (vs when you make a lot more), so it costs a lot more to save for them vs for well-established adults. It’s a good habit to pay yourself first.

    • lifer

      I was in training making very little for years and years, and if it wasn’t for my parents giving me $2000 to open my first IRA when I graduated from College, I would be in a poor place now. I invested just the generous gifts from my parents that they gave me to open IRAs in my 20s/30s and now have $500K from THOSE IRAs ALONE at age 50. The market has done extremely well. I will be forever grateful to them.

      I am not from a wealthy family. We were incredibly frugal and my parents had modest incomes and saved everything.

    • Nina

      I think its a good idea, just make sure that they have earned as much as you put in that year.
      For example, my younger sister is in grad school and I wanted to do this for her so that she started building retirement savings, but couldn’t since she didn’t have a job or earn money this past year.

    • Anon

      Just remember that you can’t contribute more to an IRA than you have in declared taxable income, so you can only contribute $6000 if they earn $6000. Anything under the table, like babysitting or other informal sources of money, wouldn’t count. If you have that much money to spare and are planning to give it to your kid anyway, it’s a huge advantage to start their saving early, but it might set the precedent that you’re always going to be funding them, and I’m not sure if that’s the healthiest way to start adult life.

      • Anon

        Agree — you can match up to the limit AND up to their W-2 income. And you can do it like an employer so your contribution equals an automatic positive rate of return (i.e., 20% match = 20% ROI instantaneously, which is awesome). The difference is that their match is in cash and not within the IRA like it is with a real employer 401k contribution.

      • Anon

        I don’t think putting aside money for a kid is necessarily going to spoil them, especially if you take the time to have conversations about it. My parents put aside a bunch of money for me when I was a kid that I’ve only had access to as an adult and I never felt like it meant it was an endless supply of money that could be replenished whenever I wanted.

      • anon

        DH’s father contributed to an IRA on behalf while DH had summer jobs in high school and college. It is a huge advantage, and DH (who I met in college) never believed his father would continue funding him once DH graduated and got a full-time job. If anything, it helped DH to see, in real terms, the time value of money–the money contributed grew a lot in just 5-6 years (1999-2005). DH’s education was paid for with a separate education trust fund set up by his grandfather for each grandchild, but I agree with the commenter above that I’d make sure education was paid for before contributing to retirement accounts.

    • anon

      I’d make sure education is fully funded first. Doesn’t make much sense to have money in an IRA but need to take out a grad plus loan at 7%.

      • Anon

        Oh, no way am I saving for grad school for my kids. Undergrad only at the basic state U cost.

        • Anon

          +1 my kids are currently in college (in-state, thankfully) and they know this has been the deal all along!

      • Anonymous

        But you can always take the principal out of a Roth, including for school. Not sure if it counts for loans.

    • Anonymous

      My parents did this (matched what I put in) and it was very valuable for me. It also helped me understand the value of retirement savings, learn about investing, etc. It was a fun project to work on with my dad (he would work with me on selecting the investment portfolio) and I have almost 90K in a Roth IRA based on my contributions from HS/college and the associated growth.

    • LawDawg

      I do this for my kids (20 & 23). They work and their earnings are used for their expenses. I match their earnings in a Roth IRA. My adviser manages it and meets with them about their investments. I will probably need to stop the oldest’s soon since he has started a real job, but since I have the income to help them out, I feel good about contributing to something that will grow and be available to them in 40 (!!!) years.

    • Anon

      This was not uncommon in my [frugal but wealthy] community growing up. My parents made me keep very detailed records of all my income across multiple jobs (employers, date and value of paychecks), ostensibly to be able to validate the amount I could put into an IRA – which often meant I could not meet the annual limit. In my case it wasn’t really their money going into the account as it came from my account, but I never wanted for anything so it was pretty fungible at that age I guess. Some of my friends with jobs had parents who just matched their income in deposits into the retirement accounts. I will probably do some version of one of those two things with my hypothetical kids in the future.

      I’m glad that they emphasized the importance of retirement early. I don’t know offhand how significant that principal is today financially, but the principle was huge and definitely set me on the right foot immediately after college.

  3. therapy or interview

    Is this a new trend in interviewing? I had a job interview this morning with a large, publicly traded company in which none of the panelists asked a single question related to my work experience or job performance. I suppose my resume spoke for itself but I felt like they spent all of their time inquiring about my personality and character. Which I understand to an extent but I feel like I didn’t get to touch on any of my relevant experience. I got excellent feedback and per the recruiter am probably getting an offer, so I don’t think this was just a “me” problem, they seem to ask everyone the same questions. I just didn’t love the probing and am wondering if this is the norm nowadays.

    • Anonymous

      How exactly were the questions related to personality and character? We use behavioral interview questions such as “Tell me about a time when you made a mistake,” and “Tell me about a conflict you encountered at work.” We are looking for work-related anecdotes that tell us whether the applicant has the right mindset to succeed in the kind of work we do. We also ask some questions that get at technical qualifications, but we find that we get much better information on technical qualifications from the job talk and writing samples.

    • anonshmanon

      I don’t know if this is a new trend, but it makes sense to me, as long as your technical qualifications are easy to glean from the resume and corroborated by tangible achievements. If I have two colleagues with nominally the same technical expertise, the difference between delightful collaboration and daily struggle comes down to things like people skills, problem solving approach, and so on.

    • interviewing

      I’d say this is the norm, but there’s usually a craft interview or skills test at some point. If you’re coming in for a leadership role, it’s almost exclusively personality, style, culture fit, etc. We tend to probe more on skills for mid-level or senior-level individual contributor roles for technical needs. But we always have a behavioral interview about how you respond to feedback, how you handle mistakes, how you think about trade-offs, etc.

  4. Anon

    Furiously printing out things to take home for work in case we get the dreaded order to test/quarantine. Testing in my city is so crazy that we probably would just quarantine vs get into a line of cars for a few hours that inevitably gets cut off b/c it starts to block traffic.

    Also send e-mail to neighborhood google group re if you are stuck at home w/ no food, reach out so we can each take turns needing help and giving help.

    Ugh. It seems more real this time. Just trying to minimize the disruption and maximize the comfort.

      • Anon

        Not the OP but in my city, + tests are over 25%, so I’m expecting that sooner or later, we are just all going to get it.

      • Anonymous

        Not the OP either but agree on it feeling more real right now. I know so many relatives, friends and coworkers with it over the past couple of weeks. I’m Illinois and tests here are around 18% even though there is a mask mandate and about half or better are vaccinated. And we aren’t one of the states where they have national guard helping or anything like that (at least I don’t think so?) but it just feels like it’s inevitable for everyone to get it. That said, I definitely don’t want it right now. I know folks keep brushing it off as being more mild now, but it sounds like things are bad. This article said they’re deploying trailers to area hospitals to help “decompress their morgues if necessary” https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/coronavirus/grim-milestone-cook-county-records-13k-covid-deaths-1k-reported-in-last-6-weeks/2721923/ . Is it warped to think I wish I could just schedule infection–like, hey Covid, can you pencil me in for later this spring or summer once things have calmed down?

  5. Anon

    Blood banks in my city are running very low on blood. If you can donate, please consider donating soon!

    • Anonymous

      Same here! Our university hospital was supposedly down to 24 units yesterday.

      • Anon

        Yikes!

        I ate a giant bulgogi order for lunch to help get my iron up. I will be so bummed if this is one of the random times I fail the iron test. I’ve also been snacking on cereal.

        • Anon

          I take one iron supplement the day before I go. Also drink lots of water. Last time I gave a pint in six minutes.

  6. In search of 1.5 inch heels

    I really wish there were more low heeled shoes out there. I feel Iike I have to choose between flats and heels at 2 inches or more. Shoes with a 1.5 inch heel are a sweet spot for me — just a little lift but not uncomfortable for my feet. Any suggestions?

    • Anonymous

      This is my preferred heel height as well, and I start by searching zappos or 6pm for shoes with a 1-2 inch heel height. This yields thousands of options, and then I narrow down from there. I have never had trouble finding shoes in this range. What kind of shoes are you looking for, exactly? Dress shoes? sandals? Sneakers? boots? loafers?

    • Anon

      I’ve been wearing the Cobb Hill Angelina or Aubrey. Neither are terribly fashionable, but both are suitably dressy for work and comfortable enough to walk a while and wear all day.

      • anon

        I’ll second the Aubrey. I’ve also had good luck with shoes from Cole Haan and Ecco. My feet don’t like straight-up flats, but high heels are out of the question, too.

    • Anon

      Well, what style are you looking for? The “comfort” brands (Sofft, Naturalizer, Clarks, Gentle Soles, Dr. Scholls, etc.) pretty reliably offer low heeled styles, but aren’t the trendiest.

      Last time I was in office, mini-wedges were the solution for me (arch support and a little lift, good with skirts or pants, available in point toe or whatever toe style is current).

    • Anonymous

      I’ve had good luck finding used Ferragamos on therealreal dot com for crazy cheap so they’re my go to low heel option these days.

  7. interview or therapy

    Is this a new trend in interviewing? I had a job interview this morning with a large, publicly traded company in which none of the panelists asked a single question related to my work experience or job performance. I suppose my resume spoke for itself but I felt like they spent all of their time inquiring about my personality and character. Which I understand to an extent but I feel like I didn’t get to touch on any of my relevant experience. I got excellent feedback and per the recruiter am probably getting an offer, so I don’t think this was just a “me” problem, they seem to ask everyone the same questions. I just didn’t love the probing and am wondering if this is the norm nowadays.

    • Anon

      At my company part of our DEI initiatives involve interviewers explicitly not being provided resumes or asking candidates about their backgrounds. This is intended to help avoid unconscious bias -specifically bias in favor of people with similar educational backgrounds. The caveat is that this is only true for the technical interview in the first round of a multi-round process and later experience interviews would still ask about background.

      • Anonymous

        If I prepared for an interview and then realized none of my interviewers had my resume, I’d be insulted and would nope out of that job fast.

    • Anon

      this seems strange to me, but maybe your materials told them all they need to know about your experience and they are really concerned about fit? what type of personality/character questions? like behavioral interview questions or something else?

    • Anon

      I took a course in behavioral interviewing. The background is that people don’t quit jobs because they can’t do the work, they quit because they don’t fit in. So behavioral interviewing focuses on fit and personality. In a behavioral interviewing world, candidates are already screened on qualifications before you ever speak to them, so you can focus on the behavioral side.

      I have to admit I found it very helpful. I had to build a large team pretty quickly and I was focused on people being flexible and adaptable rather than technically qualified. I built a great team and many of them are now besties outside of work.

  8. Anon

    I read the recommendation for Mexico City on the bachelorette party question this morning, and started doing some researching and now I’m intrigued. We’re thinking about scheduling a vacation for early this summer when, if the past two years are any indication, Covid cases should be low. If we were to go, how long should we stay – is four nights enough? Where should we stay? And finally – has anyone been to Mexico City with teenagers? They love food and new restaurants, and it looks like Mexico City can definitely deliver in that department. Thanks for any tips or advice!

    • Shelle

      I’ve been a few times (3-4 days each visit) and think it’s a really great place! It sounds like it would be a good fit for your teenagers. It’s a big metropolitan city with a lot of history, art, culture, food, and modern city attractions. Speaking Spanish is helpful but certainly not necessary. There’s a good article summarizing the highlights and where to stay on the flight deal dot com. I’ll post a link to it separately.

    • Anon

      I lived there as an unappreciative teenager in the 1980’s. At that time is was super dangerous, but the food was a real highlight. Even Vips, which seemed to be the Mexican equivalent of Dennys, was superb. I remember enjoying visits to the Zocalo and the Templo Mayor Museum, and also day trips to the archeological sites at Tenochtitlan and Tula. If any of your family is an Ancient Aliens fan don’t miss visiting Tenochtitlan.

      • Anon

        Ugh – It’s been a while since I was a teenager – for Ancient Aliens fans you want Teotihuacan, not Tenochtitlan.

    • Anonymous

      I’ve stayed in both Polanco and Condesa, and really enjoyed those neighborhoods.

  9. anon

    speaking of MM Lafleur, I have been very irritated by their recent and very steep price increases. I wasn’t totally sure their clothes were worth the $ before, but I liked them and could afford it so whatever. Now I’m just like……….really unhappy with the brand between that, customer service not being what it could be, and some of the bizarre styles they’ve come up with lately.

    • Emma

      Yeah I purchased a few MMLF dresses in the past and liked them, but honestly have other clothes I like better and at this point I don’t love the style and it’s not worth the $$$ to me. I might occasionally buy older pieces second hand.

    • Anonymous

      MMLF has gotten so weird. Even pre-pandemic, they had moved away from the simple, classic dresses that made them a success. Now it seems like they are mostly trying to sell work pajamas. I haven’t bought anything from MMLF in several years.

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