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After yesterday's post on what jewelry you wear to work, I started getting ads for this Etsy seller, Janish Jewels — and I'm a little obsessed. I love the organic shape to so many of the pieces, the unusual gems, and the general laid-back vibe.
The pictured ring is $268 at Etsy.
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Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
Nora
My friend just got a black diamond engagement ring and I’m obsessed. Where do you look for fancier rings with non-diamond gems? Mejuri etc is a little more basic than what I’m looking for
pugsnbourbon
I like the items from Midwinter (lots of diamonds but other options too): https://www.midwinter.co/collections/gemstone-rings-2
Anon for this
I have a black diamond engagement ring, too. Purchased at Anne Sportun — their store carries everyday rings too.
TO No-Longer-Junior
I go vintage/antique for fancier, non-diamond gemstone rings. YMMV but I find many modern styles to be a little basic for my tastes. The other benefit is that the pricing is often more reasonable as well.
Anon
I have a few family weddings coming up and want a dress! I have purchased and returned no less than 15 dresses this spring…anyone have a nice but still casual (i.e. wear with wedges to outdoor ceremony) dress that isn’t too short or tight, comes in a few color options, midi or maxi length and can be worn with nude shoes. I like a defined waist, v-neck, wear a real bra, type dress…this shouldn’t be difficult! Anyone have some good suggestions?
Anonymous
L K Bennett or Rebecca Taylor?
Anonymous
Hobbs has this dress in various color combos. The navy is the most nude shoe friendly:
https://www.hobbs.com/product/lila-v-neck-midi-dress/0222-5537-9022L00-NAVY-MULTI.html#cgid=clothing-dresses&is=true&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&pid=0222-5537-9022L00-NAVY-MULTI&pos=27
Or something like this:
https://www.hobbs.com/product/rosie-floral-v-neck-dress/0120-5659-9045L00-RASP-RED-IVORY.html#navAjax=true&is=true&cgid=clothing-dresses&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=pattern&prefv1=Floral&pid=0120-5659-9045L00-RASP-RED-IVORY&pos=21
AIMS
I really like that first one!
AIMS
Also – along the British brands, have you looked at Boden?
These are all cute for a summer wedding and can be dressed up/down as needed.
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/violet-square-neck-midi-dress-ivory-bouquet-flourish/sty-d0124-pnt?cat=C1_S2_G4
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/fixed-wrap-jersey-maxi-dress-multi-enchanting-peacock/sty-d0142-mlt?cat=C1_S2_G4
or
https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/smocked-bodice-midi-dress-black/sty-d0160-blk?cat=C1_S2_G4
NYCer
I have had good luck with Reformation dresses, but I don’t wear a bra with the two that I have. They may have other styles that permit a regular bra.
Also check Veronica Beard.
pugsnbourbon
Great color, bra-friendly: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/donna-ricco-ruffled-sleeve-tulip-hem-dress?ID=14029563&CategoryID=5449
Unexpected print/color combo: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/tommy-hilfiger-plaid-maxi-dress?ID=13650941&CategoryID=5449
Not a v-neck but looks so festive: https://www.macys.com/shop/product/betsy-adam-womens-ruffled-floral-halter-gown?ID=14021067&CategoryID=5449
Anonymous
Check out the Olive dress at Amour Vert. Several options for material and color/print. I feel like it hits that casual-dressy sweet spot.
kitten
Faithfull the Brand or Reformation
Anon
Yep – you’ll just have to order some options to see which works with a real bra.
Digby
This Eliza J dress hits most of your criteria:
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/eliza-j-floral-ruffle-high-low-maxi-dress/4882426
It comes in a couple of other colors – a blue version, and one that’s more pink/purple. Maybe a yellow one, too.
I’m maybe 5’5″, and even with heels, it’s too long on me, but I love it, so I’m thinking about whether I should pay for the necessary alterations or find another dress.
Anon
If it pushes you in a direction, Eliza J has been peddling that dress in different fabrics for at least 8 years – I wore it to a wedding in 2013. It is pretty, I felt great, and I might wear it again today. But the style’s been around.
Digby
Thanks – that is good to know, and I think you pushed me to keep looking!
LaurenB
I needed some dresses for some summer events and did well at White House Black Market, which isn’t usually a store I shop at.
Anonymous
Random Q: do you know of any national organizations that would allow a 14-year-old to volunteer? Many want 16/18 year olds.
Anonymous
Why does it have to be a national organization?
Girl Scouts can generally volunteer as Program Aides by age 14.
Anon
In my city, lots of local orgs let middle-schoolers volunteer with a parent on site. If they can drive (16+), generally they don’t need a grownup. They have a lot of potential liability with younger kids (e.g., Penn State situation).
startup lawyer
I volunteered at my public library when i was 14.
Anonymous
What type of volunteer work? What kind of organization? My kids volunteer at our local homeless shelter and food pantry. The food pantry has a more structured volunteer program and has a couple of volunteer coordinators and will allow children age 13 and up to go without a parent. The homeless shelter is not as organized so I always stay and volunteer with them.
Clueless
Any thoughts on displaying wedding photos?
I don’t even really know what I’m asking- have just been sitting on our photos for a little while now and want to actually display some of them somehow.
How big should I print the portrait? Are metal prints cool looking in real life? Would having the artistic kiss-y photos hanging up in the bedroom be weird or cute?
Cat
Aside from our album, I only printed one that’s 8×10 – my absolute favorite. I still love it on my dresser, but am glad we didn’t spend more on additional prints – that left plenty of space for “regular” art without the walls or surfaces feeling cluttery.
Anon
I don’t know about the metal prints, but I am always on the team of doing whatever brings you joy in your own house. So if you want some prints of you kissing in the bedroom— go for it!
Lily
I think they can be nice in the more private areas of your house (bedroom, upstairs hallways/stairways), but sort of gauche in the more public areas (basically places guest would go, where you would entertain, like a living room or dining room). I also think they’re best done when in standard size (5×7, 8×10) standing frames on a dresser, console table, etc. rather than giant framed “art” on the wall.
Anon
I personally would not care about guests when decorating my own home that I live in every day. I also would never judge anybody else for having wedding photos when I am a guest.
Anon
Same here! And also I couldn’t care less about the opinion of someone who really and truly uses the word “gauche” to judge joyful pictures that the person loves hanging in their home!
Anon
Must have been Emily Gilmore who left that comment.
Anon
If you own the images, you can print on office paper to see how proportions work for you. For a gallery wall 8×10 or 11×14 worked well for me. I think more private, kissy photos would be great for a bedroom. I have prints on metal and like them. They weren’t much more expensive than nice frame + photo, and I like the emphasis on the photo instead of the frames. I’ve also had metal ink prints on paper and really did not like them. But someone else might think the metal characteristic is cool.
Anonymous
We have some in frames, but regular 4×6 and I think one 5×7. Metal prints can be cool looking in real life, though I think i’ve only seen them for landscape pictures, not people pictures. And it’s your bedroom that other people presumably don’t see much, so I say you do whatever you want on that one.
An.On.
We have two photos from our wedding – a couple shot, and then a family group photo, both are 8×10 in 11×17 frames, I think – which we have displayed on shelves in our living room. We also have a couple 4×6’s stuck on our fridge, just because we had spares printed. Honestly, I really like ours, and would have no problem with a larger size, I think you don’t notice them much where they are. You paid good money and you probably look great, so don’t be shy about putting them up where you can enjoy them!
Vicky Austin
We have some couple shots in 5 x 7 ish frames in our living room bookcase and on my desk at work. I’d like to have a shot of the bridal party printed for somewhere around the house, and maybe another nice one of us slightly larger to go in the bedroom. There’s a really good B&W shot of me that I have been meaning to print small and put in a cute lil frame on my husband’s dresser for…three years? heh.
Wheels
Can’t speak about metal prints but seeing my wedding photos makes me happy. People usually look amazing and happy on their wedding day so show it off if you want!
Senior Attorney
I think your bedroom is a great place to display a large artistic kiss-y wedding portrait.
We have a few 5 x7s on tables or shelves in various rooms in our house, and I have an 8 x 10 in a fancy silver frame (wedding gift) in my office at work.
Anon
I hate metal prints. Otherwise, frame away and out hem where you want them! It’s your house!
Anon
I need some non-blazer jackets to wear with elevated tees and over dresses. I have blazers but want to branch out a bit. But where? I found some on Yoox but wasn’t crazy about them (and nothing under $500 on sale even, so ideally at a much lower price point). I’m not looking for heirloom quality, just something fancier than a fleece for when I’m at my desk freezing. And I’m short with a short torso, so none of these long jackets that on me look more like a coatdress or something lifted from my dad.
Anon
Swacket? The sweater jacket?
No Face
I saw a linen shirt jacket in the latest Karen Kane catalog. I haven’t pulled the trigger on buying it, so YMMV.
AIMS
I just ordered some colorful linen blazers in petite from Talbots and can report back.
Anonymous
How much (if at all) would you put your life “on hold” for future medical issues when the timing isn’t certain? Yes I’m the one who posted this morning, as people will try to guess writing style. Need a valve repair, met with one surgeon (who won’t be the one doing it as he’s retiring) who says it isn’t urgent but I should think about doing it in 6 months or so; cardiologist seems to think within the next year or so. Thing is I’m in the middle of a few interview processes and was actively looking to buy a house.
Usually I’d say – take care of your health, THEN you can switch jobs. Except I’m aligned with an industry that rarely gets hot and opportunities are starting to pop up, so if this isn’t needed for say 18 months and I sit and wait for the surgery + full recovery, chances are there won’t be opportunities then in the things I’ve wanted to do for years. But then of course the risk is going to a new employer and you need to do some of this sooner than you expected so you don’t have that built up goodwill.
Part of me says – so what – life happens as it happens, if you get an opportunity now, take it without worrying about 8 months from now. After all there are plenty of women who take new jobs and then need a maternity leave within the first year. But my closest family/best friend who are all very careful people think I’d be crazy to leave my easy job with great benefits and think it’s “safer” to stay in said unhappy job (maybe even forever) and give up opportunities. FWIW – knowing where this was going, a few weeks ago I eliminated a job possibility where the benefits would have been bad as it was a smaller employer half way across the country. So now I’m only looking at larger regional law firms where the benefits will range from fine to great. How would you think about this?
Anonymous
Live your life. Or get the replacement now.
No Face
My vote is live your life. Get a job with equal or better benefits whenever you have the chance. Being unhappy certainly isn’t going to help your heart!
What I’ve learned is that keeping myself miserable only guarantees that I’m miserable.
Anonymous
I’ve posted about this once before maybe but I think you know yourself best. Slightly different situation but I had cancer in my early 30s and was out on leave for 6 months. I had an incredibly stable law firm job with great benefits. However, I was super burnt out and had been looking for jobs before I got sick.
I job searched while I was on disability leave and left my firm for a startup (much less security etc) 2 months after I got back from leave. People strongly advised against it, told me to take care of my health, etc. It took me almost 2 years to recover from the side effects of chemo. But you know what? It was fine. My new job was great, accommodating of my medical needs and I’ve now been there for years.
I also bought a house six months after chemo and got a lot of “what if you get sick again”comments. I might get sick again! That’s unfortunately just part of my life now. I have lots of long term complications from cancer and I’m just rolling with it.
I didn’t want to put my life on hold forever and I’m glad I didn’t.
Anon
FWIW, I stay a bit underemployed so that I can manage a very complex life (including some chronic unexpected illness on my end that has lasted several years). The main original reason was having kids, but now that my parents are older, I think my career-focus days are behind me and the McJobbing Life is not going away for me.
Anon
Glad to hear someone else say this. I had a major health event in 2019 and it completely reframed my go-getter attitude. I had to take leave to recover from that and during that time off, I realized I had been putting a lot of things off until “later” – and then all of a sudden I was faced with the real possibility there wasn’t going to be a “later” for me, if I didn’t take better care of myself. I dialed back and am cruising in the job I have now, and I’m fine with it. I am especially fine with it because it looks like my mom may be having a breast cancer recurrence (her last mammo came back with “anomalies” and she’s going in for a second scan next week) and if that is the case, I am much more interested in being there for her than I am in getting ahead in my job. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to have a good job with a good salary and benefits and all that but my job is not my real life; my family is.
OP, back to your question: I say you live your life now, and get the surgery at the time you feel is right for you, within the confines of what the doctors are telling you. We have today; tomorrow is not assured. So build the life for yourself that you want now. Don’t assume there will be a “later” and you can just do it then. With the caveat that obviously, you want to make good choices that set your family up in a good situation if something were to happen to you.
An.On.
I’m biased because I just had a bad experience with a family member delaying surgery for years because of concerns about job security and pressure to be in the office, but I would say get it fixed on your schedule and don’t worry about if you’ve just started a new job. Better to make your job accommodate your healthcare than vice versa.
Anonymous
This. I would NOT hesitate to take a new job now if the thing you’ve been looking for shows up, BUT make sure that once you get to that new job you are still looking out for your health. I would NOT take said new job and say – hmm drs. are saying now but it’s only been six months, it’ll look bad. That’s the type of thing that could harm your health long term. Worst thing that happens (not saying it will) is that you go to a new job and within a few months need an extended leave to deal with this and recover. You do that and return and find they don’t want you or whatever. Fine – you’ll find a new job then with this gig on the resume for a year. It’s great to have a job you like – so take the chance to get that and do your best at it, but you and your health are #1.
As for buying a house, I don’t think a six month+ timeline affects that, right? Assuming you’re in a metro area, the markets are still pretty fast moving. Say you find a house in 2 months – chances are you’d be closed and moved in like a month or so after that, so if a house is what you want you def don’t need to put that on hold.
Anonymous
I, as well, vote to live your life. The one thing that gives me pause in what you said is that you might be looking at jobs that require you to move. If that means moving away from family and friends, and then having surgery/recovery in a town where you don’t have a support network, that might be rough.
Anonymous
OP here – I was unclear. Def NOT looking to move. In my younger day I was one who’d move for any opportunity but being older now, I’m very clear that I am not moving and staying relatively near my support system + specialists. The smaller business opportunity that came along would have been 100% remote with travel as needed; it was a great opportunity but when I got to the end of the process and inquired about benefits the response was very – oh you need benefits, well we offer this one insurance plan for a steep price (and while that plan does cover a lot of drs/hospitals in the HQ area of that company, pretty much everything in my area 800 miles away would be out of network).
Anon
I would say either do the surgery now or switch jobs as quickly as possible. If you are in the US, you want to have been in the job long enough to have FMLA protections.
Betsy
How big is your safety net if the worst case recovery scenario happens? Could the worst case scenario leave you in a position where you run out of FMLA before you are well enough to return to work, or could it result in needing to have the surgery before you’ve been at a new job long enough to qualify for FMLA? It sounds like you have a strong case that if your health follows the best case scenario, you would be happy you found a new job, but think about the flip side. Maybe your emergency savings are strong enough to handle the worst case scenario, or your household would be ok without your income for a worst outcome period of time. In that case, both ends of the spectrum support making the move. If not, it all comes down to how much risk you are comfortable taking in support of your career.
Anonymous
My father’s wife had a valve replacement at age 70. It’s a big deal and you’ll need time to rest and recover, but it’s also a very safe surgery that is done hundreds of time every year. I have no particular advice but either way, please don’t think that, in the long term, the surgery means you will be living a dramatically different life than you do now.
Anon
My car was totalled, so it’s time for a new one (and new, since used cars cost as much if not more). I can get the car I want in white or in all-blacked-out-flattish black paint. Which one? I’m not sure re the all-black thing. I know they are supposed to read bad-a$s, but a friend from PA says that it’s a Mennonite look to him (apparently they go for an austere no-flash no-chrome look?). IDK. Totalled car was shiny black, which showed pollen and baked in the sun, but could be touched up with a Sharpie. Prior car was blue + bondo orange (DIY job by me, the things you do with a $500 beater car).
Cat
matte black does not read “austere” to me, it reads “I think I’m cooler than you are.” I’d go with white.
Anon.
Same
BeenThatGuy
Not me. I’d 100% go with the murdered-out vehicle!
Like this: https://www.facebook.com/priordesign/posts/murdered-out-tesla-model-s-built-by-creative-bespoke-prior-design-gmbh-pd-s1000-/1826849997350616/
Anon
I like it, but I can recall when I first saw this paint scheme that I thought it was primer.
Would it read at all weird on a Mom Ride? Like Chrysler Pacifica but make it murdered-out?
BeenThatGuy
I’m a mom but don’t drive a “mom ride”. If a murdered out minivan is what you like, live your life! I fully support it.
anon
The kids call matte black look “all murdered out,” so I’d avoid that, personally.
Shelle
ha I was thinking of this term too! “Are her options white or murdered out? I thought you had to pay extra for that.”
Anon
Hard pass on the matte black. White’s not my favorite, but I’ve only matte black driven by young people with something to prove (obnoxious mufflers and shiny wheels sold separately).
Anonymous
Black – all the way for me.
Though I assume you mean all black body/interior, not that the windows are also blacked out right? Because all blacked out windows always seems shady to me and are against the law in many places because there are rules regarding tinting.
Anon
OP here — windows seemed normal. It’s just the outside color. Inside, I think I don’t have choices (the murder black comes with something gray inside).
Anon
It was a Mennonite look in the 40’s-50’s through 80’s when chrome bumpers were a thing. Some Mennonite congregations would black out the bumpers (and the cars were otherwise regular black paint like any other black car of the era). The chrome was what was deemed ostentatious and worldly.
Anon
I do hate chrome. Like my current car (minivan) has so much chrome on it (IMO) that it looks like a tripped out hearse. Car is black. But not murdered-out black — some sort of “black pearl metallic” nonsense.
My neighbor (SAHM, 4 kids, very woke) has a murdered-out giant SUV.
Cornellian
I live in a hot area and a car friend of mine once told me white was easiest to cover scratches on, so I’d go with that. I also think you may get less police attention, if that’s relevant for you.
Wheels
White – easier to fix scratches and if you ever need bodywork. Safer, as more visible on the roads. Also cooler and more comfortable in warmer weather.
Anonymous
Would go for the white because of safety issues. Having less unwanted attention and assumptions made by other drivers would rate higher than how much I find white cars truly ugly. In terms of looks I’d prefer the black car.
Anon
Duh, in case it matters: Kia Telluride. I’ve seen the white in person — all-black version is at another dealer location but they can flatbed it to me by this weekend.
anon
I don’t love the all-black look on the Telluride, personally, but this is 100% buyer preference.
NYCer
Between those two options, I would 100% pick white.
Anon
White: easier for other cars to see you at dusk, easy to cover scratches on, and so much delightfully cooler in the summer.
Anonymous
White shows all the bugs you hit. I would go with black.
Anon
White cars are the most practical choice where I am, because the summers get so hot and black cars just absorb heat (especially black cars with a black interior).
Senior Attorney
When the flattish black cars first came out I thought they were cool, but to my eye that look got old fast. Now when I see them I think they look ugly and faddish. So I’d go for the white.
Anon
Can we just abolish “menstruators”?
Anon
The people or the term?
Anon
The term. Not the people!
Anon
Your request gets my vote.
Anonymous
I’ll support keeping it only if we start referring to men as “sperminators”
Anon
“Sperminators” gold! Yes, I’ll be using this.
Anon
Lol – agreed with the poster above.
Anonymous
Yes
Anon
1000% agree. It is straight up dehumanizing. Use “women and people who menstruate” if you want to be inclusive! But I am not a “menstruator.” Sometimes “inclusive” language ends up being worse than the problem it’s trying to solve.
toodledoo
Replace with what? Front hole? Bleeder? Indoor plumbing?
toodledoo
Uterus-haver, uterus owner, cervix carrier, egg excreter, those who are adams apple deficient
Anon
Yeah this all needs to be abolished.
Anon
+1
Anon
People aren’t kidding about erasing women.
Anon
I completely agree, but I fear if I expressed this in real life, I’d be screamed at for being a “TERF”
Trish
Have you noticed that popular magazines have started referring to women as “people who have vaginas” in health articles. It is ridiculous. When we are talking about health for WOMEN, we can say women and transwomen.
Work
+1
I’m a doctor and this is what we do. Other words mentioned here are awful.
Anon
This just is not a fight I have any energy to participate in.