Workwear Hall of Fame: Felicia Flat

78 Comments

1. If I had these I’d just be saying “girl, bye” all the time.

   1. +1

2. I’ve been having work nightmares nightly for the past 10 days. I’m currently on medical leave and have been out of office, so I don’t doubt that the nightmares are related to that. But I also think it speaks to an unhealthy relationship with work. How do I stop?

   1. Are you on medical leave for something independently wrong (cancer, car crash)? Or is it stress / anxiety / tied up with work somehow?

      If #2, therapy and a new job.
      If #1, probably just stress of the medical condition if work is otherwise OK.

      But maybe it is time to use your leave to connect up with a career counselor / someone who specializes in work issues / anxiety / stress? B/c there isn’t a point to get better if #2 is true — you need another option and a plan.

      1. OP — on medical leave for something independent, which has been stressful. But also in a really stressful job that was making me unhappy before. I was looking for a new job before the medical leave and now I’m not sure what to do…

   2. A lot of medications can induce nightmares. I’ve experienced nightmares with three very different medicines in the past.

      1. Yep. Benadryl and effexor have both triggered some super vivid dreams or nightmares for me.

         OP, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I don’t have a ton of advice, just commiseration – I dream about work pretty frequently. Sometimes focusing on something really lighthearted before bed, like a funny instagram account, can keep it at bay.

         1. Oh, interesting. I’m taking prescription Ibuprofen for the post-surgery pain. I have a follow up appointment with my doctor this week and will ask if that could be causing it…

            1. Anesthesia given during surgery, especially abdominal surgery, supposedly can cause sleep disruption and vivid dreams.

            2. Huh. I had abdominal surgery. I wonder how long it lasts…

      2. High doeses of melatonin did this to me, when I scaled back, the horrible vivid dreams reduced considerably.

      3. Nice flat’s, but not for me, b/c I am squat to begin with. I need 4″ heels to be taken seriously.

         As for the OP, I agree. When Dad went into the ER in 2015 for complications from IBS, he started hallucinating from the drug treatements. He did not even recognize me or Mom, but once they stopped the specific medication ,and we took him home he stopped acting unusual, so when he was home he got immediately back to normal. I would ask the Dr or Nurses to change your medication and see if that helps. Good luck to you. It can happen to all of us, so stop worrying. YAY!!

   3. Following this. Same thing happening to me, except I am not on medial leave and nightmares ongoing for over 6 months. In my nightmares I relive a specific, traumatic incident – and in the nightmare there are worse outcomes than actually occurred (like death).

      1. I’m so sorry. That sounds awful. One thing I haven’t seen mentioned here is food. For me, eating pork for dinner makes me have bad dreams. Never fails. Anyway, maybe something you eat or eating too close to bedtime is the problem. Good luck!

3. I’m looking to make a floor bed in my kid’s room and wondering if I can stack two twin mattresses on top of each other or if that only works with a boxspring. A friend is offering to give us the mattresses and while we technically only need one, I think this may be a good solution for sleepovers. Is there something I’m not thinking through? I would get a mattress cover to make it look reasonable.

   1. Wait, what?

      Are you trying to make a bed, which your kid will sleep on every single day, out of two mattresses instead of a normal mattress + box spring because of the five times a year he will have a sleepover? And this will be on the floor of his bedroom instead of on a bed frame?

      No. Get a frame, a mattress, and a box spring, and have the kids use sleeping bags for sleepovers.

   2. 2 mattresses on the floor won’t be super supportive.

   3. …no a box spring provides support for a mattress, two mattresses would just be an unsupported mess.

   4. you will have issues with the mattresses shifting, but a bedframe is also important to allow for air circulation around your mattress.

   5. When my kids were little I just used one mattress on the floor, no box spring. That way if they fell off there wasn’t far to go. If you want to keep the second mattress and have room for it on the floor you can do that as if there were two beds. One can be for playing and one for sleeping.

      1. Thank you all. Unsupportive and will shift, got it! Person at 3:48: just saying, “wait, what?” isn’t helpful. To be persuasive/helpful you need to have a “because” in there.

         1. Oh get a grip.

            1. Dude, calm down. Your comment was way harsh, Tai.

   6. I would buy a bed with a trundle slide out underneath. You can use both mattresses and the upper bed will have springs or slats, so no need for a box spring. They shouldn’t be too expensive.

      1. Even with slats you should use a compressed boxspring (“bunky board”) for appropriate support. Will anyone die if you don’t? No.

   7. I used to sleep on two mattresses during my punk squat house days. The top mattress tends to slide much worse than the standard box spring and mattress set up. If your kid’s a restless sleeper, it’s going to be a total pain. But I didn’t find it uncomfortable or bad for my back in the slightest. I feel like Anon at 3:48 is maybe being a bit dramatic.

      1. Yeah, I definitely did this (and just one mattress on the floor) as a child/teen, and it was no big deal.

         1. I did this in college with a furnished apartment. There were two of us and a room with a bunk bed and a single, so we unbunked the beds, stored the single frame under one of the beds, and redistributed it so that my roommate had two box spring and I had two mattresses. It was probably more comfortable and the bed held it in place, though I imagine it would slide without a frame.

   8. Also, if the mattresses are old, they will be filled with dust mites and stuff which are really not good if your child has allergies or might be prone to them based on your or DH’s history. I would never accept a used mattress from anyone–it’s not worth it. You can get a decent twin at Ikea for under $200. Kids don’t need excessive amounts of support.

      Cosign the rec for a twin with a trundle bed. I had this all growing up and it worked great!

      1. Plenty of people get used mattresses and are just fine. Do you know how expensive mattresses can be? (And yeah, I know everybody here can probably afford a new one, but there are a lot more people in this world who can’t.)

   9. If you aren’t 100% tied to a floor bed, Ikea makes a number of beds that stack. I would always grab the second mattress as they can be very useful. The Utaker model stacks and a number of other models have trundles, lastly, the ever popular Kura bed has a lower section that can be used as floor bed and you can put the second mattress up top. Great use of space and they kids have fun.

4. I lost a lot of hair in the fall – too much stress and maybe a change in the seasons. Now that it’s growing back in, and the summer has come, I have poofy and frizzy hair. This has never happened before, so I am at a loss. Are there products that help keep the short hairs tame while they grow out?

   1. I lost a lot of hair due to a thyroid condition and my hair stylist recommended a pomade. I’ve been using something by Redken, but really any thick product will work. I’ve used my husband’s in a pinch, too.

   2. I feel your pain. I lost a lot of hair last year due to a medication change. Redken makes something called water wax and it helps with all those baby hairs that are unruly.

   3. The frizzy-haired OP here – thank you both!

5. It has been confirmed that Dior has discontinued my holy grail B.B. cream – Diorskin Nude B.B. cream in shade 001 (think ghostly leaning pink). I love the stuff. Short of stockpiling it from eBay, what other B.B. creams have you liked that are similar to this.

   I definitely need physical only sunscreen due to rosacea. This one has titanium dioxide. It’s only spf 10 but I found that enough for my very limited sun exposure during the work week.

   1. I like Dr. Jart’s. It’s a physical sunscreen, and works well on my very fair skin.

      1. Which product? Is there a B.B. cream by Jart?

         I tried the Cicapair Tiger stuff that goes on green at first but found it drying.

         1. There is a BB cream yes. I found it similar to the Cicapair stuff though so if you didn’t like it it might not work for you. You can get a free sample at Sephora.

   2. I’m in exactly the same boat as you. Ghostly leaning pink is the perfect description…

   3. Also have rosacea, and I like Clinique City Block. I can wear it daily without irritation.

   4. I’m currently using Australian Gold Botanical Tinted 50 SPF.

   5. Also ghostly leaning pink, and I just bought Smashbox BB Water (SPF 30). I hated the Smashbox BB cream in a tube (it smelled like kerosene and seemed to go on like caulk), but after two days of trying the BB Water, I’m cautiously hopeful. No smell, not drying, and cruelty-free. I bought the lightest shade, which I think is called Light. Since it’s very liquid, it’s easy to add another drop to intensify the color, or back off/mix with moisturizer or serum to lighten the color.

   6. Different price point, but the newish Wet and Wild Photo Focus foundation in rose ivory is one of the best color matches I’ve ever found, and I am also pinkish pale. It doesn’t have an SPF, so you can use whatever sunscreen you want underneath.

6. Help: anyone have a good dupe for Rothys The Point? I love the shape but not the price!

   1. I think Toms “Jutti” flat is a good dupe in appearance. Obviously, different fabric, but I’ve had people ask me if they were Rothys when I’ve worn them. And I think they are super comfy too.

7. My favourite Felicia flats are calf hair leopard print; for some reason they’ve held up way better than my leather pairs and fit better. My leather ones get very stretched out and sad after a year of regular wear. Still my favourite flats though.

   1. Good to know! I just ordered a leopard print pair and am very excited to wear them.

8. I’m heading to Miami for a weekend in July with my boyfriend. We’re 40ish. Staying in South Beach. I’m thinking brunch in SoBe, heading over to Little Havana and Wynnwood for one afternoon, and then a day devoted just to brunch and pool/beach in South Beach. Any good food recommendations would be great, and maybe nightlife for the over 40 crowd?

   1. I am not totally sure b/c I am still under 40, but I went with Sheketovits when I was about 25 to a place on Lincoln Road (an outdoor mall) that was very nice. We ate meat at an outdoor place and stayed at an inexpensive hotel right on Collins Avenue not far from there. I recommend you and your friend going to Lincoln Road and walking down and back until you find a place that is classy enough. Sheketovits found the place we ate at, but there was a lot of grizzle on my steak. FOOEY!

9. I had an interview for my dream job last week and I am going batty waiting to hear back. It’s a government position. How long should I wait to follow-up – 2 weeks? more?

   1. Ah! Sympathies– I’ve been there. Government can take a long time. My job description was posted in April, I interviewed in May, found out in mid-July, and started in late August, for reference. I’d wait at least two weeks, and maybe not even follow up. It just takes time, which can be hard. Lots of distractions are needed. : ) Good luck!

      1. Ahhh you are confirming my fears! Yup, I applied early April, and just interviewed last week – it was so long I assumed I wouldn’t get call in for an interview. I finally after many years got up the courage to leave my high paying yet miserable firm job, which is really empowering, but somehow makes waiting even worse. Definitely hard, but definitely one of those out-of-my-control things.

   2. More sympathies to you! The federal hiring process is so slow. I don’t think it would hurt you to contact the HR person listed in the vacancy announcement. He or she might be able to tell you where the selecting officials are in the process. This might also nudge the HR contact to nudge the hiring officials along. Two weeks after an interview isn’t that long in the government hiring world but I think it’s also a reasonable amount of time to follow up with the HR contact. I would not follow up with the hiring officials or anyone who interviewed you though.

10. I’ve noticed that during the week before my period, my productivity at work plummets. I’m already more easily stressed and fatigued during this time, but this particular side effect is the hardest on my self-esteem. Why can’t I just get it together and power through? I’ve already learned that if I can avoid it, I should *not* have difficult discussions at work while I’m PMSing because I am not myself (much more emotional, disproportionate reactions to things, etc.) I already have a PMDD diagnosis and take a low dose of Zoloft. Believe it or not, with meds I’m actually doing better now than I was a year ago. But I really hate that hormonal shifts mess with my mind and body so much. Any ideas for getting through PMS without damaging my work? This is a problem that’s gotten significantly worse after age 35. If somebody told me even 5 years ago that this would become a problem for me, I wouldn’t have believed them, so please be gentle!

    1. How are your vitamin and iron levels?

    2. Why is it something to be powered through? Why not embrace it (a little anyway!) and use it to be a week when things are a little slower, you’re a little kinder to yourself, and work with it instead of against it?

       1. +1111 My life became so much better when I recognized that these shifts DO affect me, that I’m not a terrible person because of it, that I won’t be the same every week of the month. If you can, learn to work around this temporary shift in your productivity, and– as you are able — begin working to unhook your sense of personal value and worth from your productivity.

    3. My cocktail is zinc, magnesium, and vitex agnus-castus. I also make sure to schedule extra time for sleep.

    4. If you can’t cut out work, then cut out the rest. That is the week to have a cleaning person come or to leave the dishes in the sink one night. Just go to bed early every night. At least once a month, around my period, I go to bed pretty much when I get home from work and sleep 10-11 hours.

    5. If you can’t cut out work, then cut out the rest. That is the week to have a cleaning person come or to leave the dishes in the sink one night. Just go to bed early every night. At least once a month, around my period, I go to bed pretty much when I get home from work and sleep 10-11 hours.

11. Is it a dumb thing to replace a perfectly good printer with one that has AirPrint capability? I just feel like I’d multitask a lot more efficiently if I could print various things from my phone.

    1. Can you potentially donate the old printer? If you know a college student, they might appreciate one in good working order – do colleges still charge students for printing?

       1. Some do, some don’t, and either way college printers can be very unreliable (but it’s not like I’m bitter about wasting lots and lots of my print quota on documents that never materialized or anything like that, no way)

    2. I did. Also for space savings. No regrets.

12. Would this shoe be wearable for someone who normally prefers a lot of arch support? I stopped wearing ballet flats years ago but have been tempted by this style from time to time. I had a pair of french sole flats and they were so painful to wear that I gave up on ballet flats entirely, but it sounds like these may have a lot more padding.

    1. They are super comfortable and “soft” like a sock hugging your foot, but I wouldn’t say supportive.

    2. No, they are not supportive at all. But you can probably put your favorite insert in them. That’s what I do for all of my favorite flats.

13. Need to bring a dessert to a summer barbecue potluck. Would prefer something that doesn’t need to be kept refrigerated or frozen. Anyone have good recipes?

    1. Any fruit pie!

    2. cookies or brownies

14. Help! Work in a corporate office. Been doing a job without a title change for a year, money is fine, but without the change it’s like no one knows. So now changes come up, and they say, another associate get its, not you. Never in trouble, always professional, get my work done, educated, liked by office. Now what to do? I feel defeated and used. Leave? There was no explanation, now there are unreturned emails and calls to management. Eliminating my position? I’m full of questions and no one is answering me! Frustrated.

    1. This sounds very troubling. I’m sorry.

       it’s difficult to tell what’s going on. Perhaps you could post again tomorrow morning, maybe with more of the story; you’ll get more responses.

       Do your best to leave this at the office this evening. Take a break; get some sleep. You’ll get through this. You do have a future. I promise.

15. Lawyer recommendation needed – Bethesda, MD area. My sister received phone call from insurance company saying there is a claim against her … claim is that she hit a car in a Target parking lot and drove away. My sister has no recollection and there is no damage to her vehicle. Not sure what kind of lawyer this warrants. Also, advice welcome.

    1. ??? Definitely post again tomorrow.
       Would the insurance company be helpful here at all?

    2. Her insurance company should provide the lawyer

    3. call her own insurance company. also probably a scam

    4. She should call her car insurance company. They will handle the claim and provide her with a lawyer if necessary.

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