Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Cotton-Blend Boucle Jacket

347 Comments

1. Elizabeth, I love this Boucle Jacket and have allways been a big Brooks Brothers purchaser (from my Dad’s insistence). As a 40+ year old who goes into court, I think the manageing partner might go for this, but cannot guareantee it. He prefers me in red or black b/c of my long blonde hair, so we will see. You are still in your 30’s so you can more likely wear this, but I go to court 3 days/week and conserveatisim seems to me my forte.

   Did anyone watch the Today show today? It had a great segment about George Bush, the first Bush president, spearheaded by Laura Bush Hager, who is his grandaughter. Laura seems to have shed some of those excess pounds, and I wish I could take her lead to figure out her secret. If anyone knows how she did this, please post on this site, and I will come back to see. It would be wonderful if I could slim my tuchus w/o surgery. YAY!!

2. Curious what, if anything, you do if you’re in an Uber/Lyft with a bad driver. Have you ever asked a driver to slow down? Or gotten out of the car before reaching your planned destination and called for a different driver?

   1. This is why I don’t take rideshares anymore. Too many scary experiences.

      1. I’ve thought of this, but I’ve had scary experiences in taxis too (despite having taken way fewer taxis than rideshares).

         And on the bus, for that matter, though usually I’m not taking a rideshare if the bus will do.

         1. +1 my worst experiences have been in taxis, both in terms of car safety and personal safety.

            1. Me too, though pretty much all of them are on one specific route – airport to my house. Part of the drama is the randomness of the taxi stand -I live pretty close to the airport and they are barred from circling back for a certain period of time. So I’ve had more than a few guys start yelling because it’s a $50 fare when they were hoping for at least $100. Since the advent of rideshares, the taxi drivers have gotten a LOT nicer and I’m not mad about it.

      2. Rideshares are way safer than getting in a random taxi!

         1. +1, in a rideshare you have a complete trail of where you are going! Random cabs, no way, my last time taking one they were annoyed at the low fare from the train station and drove an extra 10 blocks out of the way to make more money. Ended up getting the $ back with a credit card dispute, which oh by the way the guy claimed was ‘broken’ until we explained it was take a card or don’t get paid as we have no cash on hand.

            And they wonder why rideshares have taken their business.

         2. +2

   2. I have gotten out early before.

      I don’t think I can teach somebody how to drive, but if the only issue was speed, I can imagine asking them to slow down, though I would probably ask in an apologetic tone. I’ve not yet had a bad driver whose only issue was speed though.

      1. I’ve also asked drivers to slow down. I just say I get car sick and they don’t want me to vomit on their car so they always comply.

   3. I tend to get carsick and wouldn’t hesitate to appeal to their self-interest: “I am feeling a bit carsick — if you could slow down, that would probably help.”

      1. I get carsick too, but it’s not speed that bothers me. It’s drivers who rely only on the pedals to drive, so they accelerate aggressively, then brake, then accelerate, then brake. No gentle pedal pressure to get up to speed and then maintain that. Ugh. I don’t stop them though because I can’t really like teach them how to drive?

         1. My stepdad drove with two feet. Drove me crazy but he insisted it was really safe.

   4. Luckily, I have only had one bad experience and I texted a few friends to let them know my driver was creepy and keep them on standby until I was home safe.

      I only take Uber late at night (after midnight) when I shouldn’t be walking (otherwise I walk everywhere I go), so getting out and calling another Uber wouldn’t necessarily help (as I’d then be waiting on the corner for one).

      1. Uber/lyft now have that feature where you can send the info about your ride to someone – I wonder if the driver is notified if you do that. I usually do that more for convenience than safety, but it wouldn’t hurt for the driver to know that someone is expecting you.

   5. Yes, I’ve had a couple bad experiences – one where we nearly got in an accident, another time when they started going the wrong way down a one-way street. Both times I had the driver stop and got out, and left bad reviews and complained to Uber.

   6. Yes. I’ve insisted on them pulling over and letting me out at a safe spot.

   7. If I don’t feel in immediate physical danger I just try to be a very active passenger (ready to shout out) and then report it in the app afterwards. Given that rides are tracked I don’t know why drivers speed but they often do

   8. I got out of the car once when the driver was being reckless. I speak up if I disagree with their navigation, either because they’re choosing a stop-and-go route that makes me car sick or they’re taking me through a potentially unsafe neighborhood. I stick with Uber because every time I’ve taken a taxi in the past five years I regretted it. Taxi drivers intentionally take longer routes to run up the meter, they usually lie and pretend the credit card reader is broken, and you have no visibility into your ETA.

   9. I cancelled an Uber on the spot when I was in a foot brace and the driver wanted me to cross 6 lanes of traffic to get to the car, and yelled at me rudely when I insisted he come get me. I stopped taking Uber when I was picked by a driver with an eyepatch who could not read the Waze instructions wanted me to navigate on my phone. Never again, I use legitimate car services now.

      1. What car services have you found that are better? (Genuinely asking because I’ve not found a good solution yet.)

         1. I use a real limo service in my area. They are more expensive but the drivers are professional and the cars well maintained. And if something goes awry there is a real person to talk to.

            1. Fwiw, Uber Black as this level of service and is easy to choose.

   10. The driving has never been an issue but I can’t stand that they only follow the app and not the house numbers. I had one try to drop me off on the street in New Orleans in a residential are where I had been years before and we did not, if fact, see any house numbers or street signs that would indicate we were “there.” He seemed baffled at my suggestion that we were close but needed to, you know, FIND THE ACTUAL HOUSE! It was half a block away around the corner as it turned out.

       1. This is why no one in our house was allowed to take a drivers license test until they could demonstrate that they could reliably navigate using a paper map in the real world (i.e., we need to get from A to B, so kid, you navigate us while I drive).

          1. As someone who gets carsick, I would never have gotten my license in your house! Reading a map would have been a disaster.

   11. I politely ask them to slow down. If that doesn’t make a difference, my escalation is “I’m a really good tipper, but if you don’t slow down, I won’t tip.” It has always worked, and I’m true to my word with a good tip.

   12. Yes I asked a driver to let me out and I had to call for another. Uber did not return my money for the first. In my case, the driver had road rage and was driving extremely aggressively and I was scared.

   13. I’ve had one particularly bad experience where the driver was just not comfortable with driving at all and kept missing turns and exits because he was scared to change lanes and couldn’t look at the map and drive at the same time. We tried to proactively help warn him about upcoming turns. The ride went so far out of the way and beyond the expected time of arrival that the rideshare app actually reached out to us during the ride and asked if we were ok. I appreciated knowing that the apps are tracking for abnormalities.

   14. I got out at a stop light one time because he’d run the last stoplight, very nearly got us t-boned by a bus, and then careened around a corner going 35 onto a downhill in the pouring rain and the car slid. Next stoplight I threw myself out of the car and promptly burst into tears. Ended up walking home I was so shaken.

3. Have you had any luck with laser upper lip hair removal? I want to try it because I have some dark hairs on my upper lip and it really bothers me, but I don’t know if it will work

   1. Laser hair removal is amazing for my legs and underarm but I’m prone to hyperpigmentation and I heard lasers on your face can make it worse so I’d be careful.

      1. I truly think if laser hair removal had existed when i was an adolescent I would be a different more confident and well adjusted person. It is amazing. I am very fair with very dark hair and at this point i’ve been lasered from tip to toe. the lip takes longer because it’s more hormone driven (like i started 5 or 6 years ago and still get touch ups) but i think it’s better than waxing or nairing or anything else. totally recommend.

         1. Not the OP – Thanks for sharing this. Any guess as to how much it has cost, all together? Just a rough ballpark. And I take it you have some sort of package, since you are still going?

            Has anyone used one of the home laser devices on their face? Which one?

            Has anyone been swayed to do electrolysis instead by professionals due to concerns about skin irritation/rosacea/hyperpigmentation etc..?

            1. i started with a groupon. if you are in or near a major metropolitan area there will be lots of options. Google the salons for ones that don’t sound sketch and go from there. The groupon will be for 6 sessions probably which is a nice start but will not be enough for any area to be hairlenss in my experience. I have done sets for my face, arms, under arms, legs and bikini (my abdomen etc was electrolized hair by hair in my 20s). Once you run through a set depending on the salon and your hair you will either buy another set or just “minutes” which can be used for touch ups. I buy a package of 60 minutes when the salon is running a 2 for 1 (usually around mothers day) and it lasts. Now i just go every 2 or 3 months and they zap my strays, about 10 minutes. I really don’t need to shave anything anymore. It is certainly expensive and I am candidly not a great budget reporter but I do not have the sense that it is meaningfully more of an expense than those years when I was threaded or waxed regularly.

   2. I did it and was very happy with the results. That said, it’s not permanent, and 10 years later I have some hair there again. I could go back and do it again, and r move to electrolysis.
      But would definitely do it again. Need dark hair on light skin—contrast helps with the laser.

   3. I tried laser on my upper lip hairs about 15 years ago and it didn’t do much. I switched to electrolysis and about nine months of sessions later, I was very happy with the results. I still have a little peach fuzz there but that’s easy to get rid of with a Tinkle razor every few weeks. I have medium South Asian skin with dark hair so laser was not the best fit.

   4. Best thing I ever did. I had my upper lip and chin done at my derm’s office. Was about 15 years ago and only the chin had a few strays come back. (FWIW, the home machine I bought did nothing for them.) First professional session was PAINFUL (I think that’s why they have you buy a package. LOL) But after that, every session got much better. My skin improved so much, too, since I wasn’t plucking or using shavers anymore. I believe I paid around 2K, but it’s been so long I honestly can’t recall. The improvement to my quality of life was worth everything though.

   5. If you’re in NYC, try Bared Monkey. They had a Groupon when I first tried it and pay about $700 for 6 session on my legs.

4. I have been having a lot of opinions about jackets lately.

   To wit: the trim is cute, but it does tend to lock you into a color palette: This jacket now goes better with black or white pants and it limits you for blouses. I have a solid textured white jacket that gets a lot more use than one tipped with anything. OTOH, if you have black or white pants and can figure out a blouse, the tipping makes the outfit look more intentional, which often looks really good and makes you look more put together.

   But what pauses me here is the stance: lapels and three buttons? Remember when men wore giant oversized suit jackets with a 4-button stance and it just looks weird, even if you are very tall? I worry that three buttons + lapels will just not be the timeless jacket I want it to be.

   And while I am on my soapbox: I am noticing a long audition period with clothes now. Partly, it is me relearning how to dress myself (post-COVID, perimenopausal shape-shifting, work norms changing for clothes, job changing somewhat so more client-facing, learning how to look sharp in things other than suits). Partly, it is new footwear (when and how to style loafers vs flats vs low block-heel pumps and how does each go with various pants and hemming lengths). When do I get to be on full auto-pilot again?

   And to the person who always lets us know that it’s not that complicated. That person is right: to be clothed, merely clothed and not nekkid, that is not hard. That is what bathrobes are for. To be clothed well for your weather (we have 3 seasons in a day some days), your body, your day, your tired feet so that you are pleased with the result: may be easier for some of us than others.

   1. I only go to the office a couple of times a week. Any time I go out to do a thing where I care how I look (so, not a grocery store run) I totally have to plan and try on my outfit ahead of time. And I try to have a couple of options in mind because apparently I am not as good as I used to be at picturing how thing will work in my head.

      I agree that pants are especially tricky these days because of the changes in silhouette and length – used to be I’d put on a pair of skinny ankle pants and whatever shoes and it would work! I haven’t gained that much weight, but menopause has shifted it, so I do need to get used to that, too.

      Infrequent dressing up, new styles, new body shape… it all adds up!

      You are not alone, Anon at 8:54!

      1. The pants dilemma makes it so much harder. My pants used to be totally interchangeable with any outfit. Now I have to think about the proportion with my top, the shoe height and style, etc. And since we moved to a hybrid model and hotel desk policy I feel like I’m carrying a full suitcase every time I go into the office. It’s a much bigger effort to select an outfit, pack up my chargers and office sweater and water bottle, etc. I swear this all used to be much easier.

   2. Well hopefully it’s easier for most of us than this! But clothes are just as valid as everything else as a hobby this obsession just doesn’t seem terribly fun for you.

   3. You’re right, it can be tricky to dress yourself, but the level of overthinking in your comments is beyond. I promise nobody is looking at you and thinking how dare your jacket have three buttons instead of four.

      1. +1. Gently, there is a lot of anxiety shining through over things that just don’t matter.

      2. OP’s level of mental effort on this is just too much effort for me, TBH, and I am a person who loves clothes. At some point, you gotta just pick a fashion point of view and go with it. And I completely co-sign that honestly – people are just not paying that much attention to other people’s clothes. I see interesting/questionable fashion pretty frequently and I’m like, huh and then I mentally move on. I don’t have the mental bandwidth to fixate on how someone else is dressed. I don’t have the mental bandwidth to fixate on how I’m dressed.

      3. Oh come on, it’s commentary on an ostensible fashion blog. Where else can you ruminate over jackets?

         1. +1. Give the OP a break.

   4. I wouldn’t hesitate to wear the featured jacket with olive, orange, or pink.

      1. Definitely, but I’d probably struggle with shirt / blouse choice. That has to be why so many fashion pictures omit a shirt/ blouse — confirmation that it is just hard! [And this has to be why St. John often veers to the monochrome or matched sets — it’s like Garanimals for adults and but for the price, I’d be here for it.]

         1. The jacket would look best with a black top and black pants/skirt and anything else would just cheapen it – I understand why OP is essentially saying it’s not versatile.

      2. Agreed. I have nice T-shirts in a variety of colors and I have a cream jacket with black pipping and I’ve worn pink, maroon and blue under it and it’s looked great. Nice to have a pop of color with an otherwise black and white outfit.

   5. I agree with every part of your post. This style is cute but limiting. And I also feel like I’m far from auto-pilot with my wardrobe these days for many of the same reasons you mention. I like looking put together, but I want to put in the least amount of effort possible. Those goals are often not compatible, lol.

   6. I saw someone advise spending time trying on your clothes and putting together 7-10 ‘outfits’ for the season. Then all you have to do is identify which one you want on a given day.

      1. This, but our weather needs to cooperate. We are in our third winter. All of my clothes are out. And will it pls stop raining? It cannot be cold and also raining (so I wear the cropped pants but with heavy wool socks and combat-ish boots). Also, I am tired of wearing black/gray. I am trying to mix it up out of sheer boredom.

         1. This time of year is the hardest to dress for, imo. You may feel much better about the state of your wardrobe a month from now!

   7. Are you similarly paralyzed in other aspects of life?

      1. Anon at 10:17: are you similarly mean IRL?

      2. Hi welcome to a fashion blog where some people enjoy overanalyzing clothing!

         1. It’s more about one poster who has posted the same exact dilemma at least 10 or 15 times that I have seen. How many times can the same exact situation be posted? No amount of responses is ever enough. This is some kind of anxiety loop.

            1. Don’t read it then. I’m not OP but I can identify with it being hard to get dressed sometimes – that’s what this place is about. If anyone is in the wrong place, it’s you.

   8. I’ve been having the same problem and have gone to a capsule wardrobe, at least for a little while. I tried on and examined everything I was putting in the capsule, and tried on some of the not completely obvious outfits from it as well, all of which took about an hour as I did it in a rather leisurely fashion. Then I dumped the rest of my closet in a different closet and some boxes. It’s a bit dull, but right now I’m enjoying getting dressed quickly and with confidence.

   9. I feel this in my soul. It was so much easier when I wore a uniform suit and I was a thin pear. Now I am a short, heavier pear-apple who works from home and I have no idea how to look sheek in business casual anymore.

      1. +1

      2. Did I write sheek? What on earth? CHIC! lol.

   10. Nothing is timeless, though, so trying to worry about that makes everything too hard. For me, I think the white is too stark on this jacket and it’s too contrast-y.

       1. Completely agree that nothing is timeless. Buy what you like and accept that clothing is a consumable and will need to be replaced/updated eventually.

   11. I think this is a Ladies Who Lunch jacket that you could get away with wearing to most offices, not the other way around.

       1. +1

5. Any other runners here? I’ve been wearing lulu shorts and swiftlys for at least a decade without issue so I haven’t bothered to see what else is out there. I’m starting to see some brands on Instagram but don’t know where to start. Is there something better?

   1. I still wear the Nike running shorts that I’ve worn since high school, so if there’s something better I wouldn’t know!

      1. Third for the Nike tempo. Last forever, comfortable , and cheap.

         1. Same here and they also somehow fit me over a 50 pound range. I’m still wearing the pair that I bought in 2010 on sale at Marshall’s.

   2. Better is a relative term. I say if what you’re wearing works, then keep at it. I’ve been wearing the same Nike tempo shorts since college over 15 years ago ( literally the same shorts- they’ve held up incredibly well) and they are more comfortable for me than any of the other “better” shorts I’ve tried. They’re not cool or fashionable but they work best for me.
      For leggings I like Athleta. Target brand seemed equivalent for a while but after a year or so of wear, the quality superiority of Athleta became very obvious.

   3. I am not fancy and love the Tek Gear high waisted leggings from Kohls. They don’t slide down on my pear-shaped body, my phone stays comfortably in the hip pocket, and they come in a zillion colors so I can look like a sentient packet of skittles flailing around out there on the trail. Used to like Old Navy for workout gear but the fabric has changed for the worse; the static cling is ridiculously distracting.

   4. Don’t fix what isn’t broken!
      Signed,
      A runner who’s still wearing Brooks 2-in-1s from the late 00s because they’re the bomb.

   5. I’ve had to abandon running shorts for leggings or bike shorts due to chub rub. I like the Athleta fleece leggings in the winter but in the summer anything wicking that can take a beating (washer / dryer) will do — Athleta or ON currently. Running shorts are never long enough now plus I like the pockets and find the built-in briefs to chafe at times.

      1. Same girl. I’m a runner who rarely wears running shorts anymore, except for casual wear. It’s kinda sad, but I’m a lot more comfortable in bottoms with more coverage. I have thighs at every size!

   6. I wear a lot of Oiselle mostly because I’m swayed by the runners that rep their brand on IG (Kara Goucher, Lauren Fleshman, Madeline Strandemo).

      1. Oiselle makes good apparel and they have a reputation for doing right by their sponsored athletes.

   7. I generally wear anything under armour and usually buy online from their outlet. I can’t justify spending over $100 on a pair of leggings when I can get them for $40. Also, I keep trying to find a cute set with pockets on the leggings and adjustable straps on the sports b r a but that seems to be impossible to find!!

   8. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

   9. Oiselle makes some really great shorts. They have longer versions with lots of pockets. It’s the pair I reach for every time.

   10. You need Tracksmith and Rabbit – expensive but utter perfection on construction and function

6. I have two trials coming up this year and I’ll need to be in a full suit every day for several weeks. I was looking through my closet and I have have several suits from 2011-2012. They are basic colors (navy, gray, black, navy pinstripe) skirt and pants suits from J. Crew and Banana Republic. They still fit well. I tried them on for my husband and he asked why the jackets were so short. Am I going to look terribly dated wearing these? I don’t even really know what is in style for suiting these days.

   1. Some jackets, especially casual jackets for teens, are giant these days. Suit jackets can be bigger, but as a small person with narrow shoulders, I can’t pull off even a double-breasted suit jacket. So original BR suiting jackets for me still. If your husband went to a court house, he’d see that you’d be OK. It’s not a place for fashion suits or fashion jackets if you are the lawyer trying a case.

   2. Honestly I wouldn’t take a man’s opinion too seriously.

      1. +1

         1. +1 unless he works with women that are wearing suit daily. I have noticed, though, that over the last few years, the suit jackets have tended to be getting slightly longer. More jackets are hitting me lower on my hips now than they were in that time period. The hems are probably 1-3 inches longer. If they still look good on you, I’d still wear them. I’m mostly noticed because certain shirts/shells that I could previously wear untucked were peaking out from the bottom hem of the jacket, so I compared lengths of the jackets.

      2. evergreen

         1. Amen.

   3. I’m guessing they’re completely fine. I don’t remember anything being particularly short in the 2011-2012 era.

      1. currently jackets are longer and oversized. you don’t need to listen to your husband and they are probably fine but he’s not crazy. I went looking for a blazer this weekend and thought they were all long….

         1. But an oversized jacket is not the look for a trial. Court attire is not the time to follow trends.

   4. You might look dated, or you might look fine.

      One thing I’ve noticed in my own wardrobe, is that my idea of preferred ease has changed. So even though some clothes fit now as they did ten years ago, my general choices for ease has changed, and that what makes items look dated to myself.

   5. I think you’ll be fine. Jury trials are not the place to wear super fashionable clothes anyway, unless you really want to.

      1. +1. I have a bunch of those same suits hanging in my closet too. I’m not a trial lawyer anymore, but I’d feel fine wearing them for a jury trial. Less so for something like a networking event with other lawyers – would try to get a more current suit (ie the slightly longer jacket).

   6. Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. Just wear you basic suits, which sound perfect to me.

      Oversized jackets don’t work well or flatter many of us, and if you aren’t a clothes horse with a lot of money and time to spare, I would not go out and buy jackets that will be considered “dated” in a year. This is court. Basic and boring is perfect.

      1. “Oversized jackets don’t work well or flatter many of us, and if you aren’t a clothes horse with a lot of money and time to spare, I would not go out and buy jackets that will be considered “dated” in a year.”

         Preach. I am too old to run out and spend money on something that’s going to make me look like David Byrne in an MTV video circa 1985. Or like a linebacker for the 1995 Chicago Bears. I’m still wearing my classic blazers that I’ve had that aren’t too short, too long, too boxy or too padded in the shoulders. In six months those will still be fine and trendy blazers will probably be back to being cropped or shrunken (feel like we’ve cycled through that a couple of times already in the last 15 years).

   7. Fine for court where fashion expectations are low, but I’d modernize your wardrobe for other things, like speaking engagements, client pitches, big meetings, etc.

      1. Agree with this.

         1. Agreed, but don’t buy the big blazers, they have been around for a while and are on their way out.

7. We are considering purchasing a second home that we will use as an AirBNB when our family does not use it. It is approximately 60 minutes from our home, and located in a well established secondary rental market from our home base city. There are property managers who can take over the rental lift for us, or we can attempt it on our own. We have confirmed with local zoning officials that it can be licensed as a short term rental (and there are no neighbors on the road, so our permit will not need any permissions from adjoining properties). Curious for those of you who either have these properties — things you wish you had considered but didn’t before purchasing or other tips/tricks. We are under contract and have about 2 weeks until we are locked into the purchase.

   1. My friends had one and liked it, but it was a lot of work to maintain high ratings, which you need, even with a property manager. They would up making not infrequent mid week trips to check on things (which could be feasible for you since you aren’t far) and answering questions was a lot of work.

   2. A resort area close to my city has septic (vs sewer). A lot of places are septic rated for far less than their AirBNB party load, so watch out for nonsense like that. Also, people were very casual re radon in basements and claiming that bedrooms were bedrooms (no windows and legally they need 2 means of egress to be a bedroom). Finally, watch your insurance: you may not be insured adequately (and get an umbrella policy).

      Hiring a property manager isn’t really doing anything buy paying and hoping for the best — ask what happens if the A/C goes out on 4th of July weekend.

   3. My family has owned a shore house since the 70s (purchased by my grandmother) and has usually rented it for half of the summer and uses it for half of the summer. We do everything ourselves (for financial reasons) and it can be a PITA, but it’s also great to have the use of a house for “free” (except our labor) and it has been an AWESOME generational gift.

      Most of the house being a PITA are very specific to our house and family (3 people co-own the house, my mom, her sister, and my grandmother; the house is 110 years old so requires lots of maintenance a newer house wouldn’t need; house is seasonal so gets completely closed down (water turned off, etc) and reopened each year).

      I guess my biggest piece of advice is that there is always something and that two houses = twice the maintenance headaches.

      1. Both of these are super helpful, thank you! The house is septic, so that is key information. We are hoping this does become a generational gift – i.e., buying at today’s prices for future generations to use/enjoy. Already spoke to our insurer, and we have an existing umbrella in place that we’ll increase.

   4. Did it (literally same circumstances you describe) and it wasn’t financially worth it so we stopped. The property managers take a huge cut and people break everything. Even things you wouldn’t think could be broken. That said, we love having a second home and use it all the time. It’s close enough to keep an eye on and keep it maintained. Wish we’d never rented it out.

      1. I should clarify, stopped renting it as a vacation rental but we kept the house and use it all the time.

         1. Really helpful, thank you. I don’t think we’ll rent at all the first year of ownership so that we can “get to know” the house and its quirks/maintenance before we jump into renting. We’ve also talked about only doing longer term rentals to one family (3 to 6 months — lots of people from our city spend time in this area during the summer months and commute in) to reduce wear and tear.

            1. +1 to only renting to families.

               Anon at 10:16 here and we only rent to families, never to groups and never to young people.

            2. In some ways that can be worse, you might end up with eviction issues and you also lose control and enjoyment of your home. I stopped mixing use of property after a couple of years of vacation renting – our properties are either full time rentals or for us, no in between.

      2. We also briefly rented out a 2nd home and were amazed by the trail of damage… One guest managed to break the slats on the queen-size platform bed, and left a note (on the back of a receipt) that just said “sorry I broke it.”

         Running a short-term rental is definitely a lot of work. It is not for everyone. Also the different rental platforms each come with their own issues. It’s good to research them before you commit to one.

         1. Omg the trail of damage is so on point!! Like how is it possible to break everything??

   5. Put waterproof covers on your mattresses and prepare for people to damage or stain items in the house from time to time. You’ll have to replace things like kitchen utensils and non-stick pans frequently. Get umbrella insurance to obtain maximum coverage. Some homeowners policies will not cover short term rental issues (we got sued even though the injury was the renter’s own fault). A property manager would be helpful if the house is an hour away. Last minute issues and maintenance needs come up frequently. Make sure they will handle anything that arises and confirm how the expense of repairs is handled. It can be really tough to get a reliable cleaning team, especially for same-day turnovers. A property manager should be able to manage all that. You’ll learn as you go. Most people are great, but there will be the occasional headache!

   6. I would really dig into the property management company – try to understand how responsive they are for all manner of things. If a tenant can’t get into the property for some reason, are they able to help? Will they confirm that the cleaners did a good job (or handle the cleaning)? How do they handle security and monitoring for the property when it is vacant? If there Is a party at the house, what are their protocols? When something breaks, do they have people on staff to handle it (plumbing, HVAC, etc) or do they subcontract? Do they have your permission to act to repair something, or do they need authorization from you? If there’s a maintenance issue that they can’t fix quickly, do they have solutions for where to relocate your guest, or is that on you, and who pays? None of these are dealbreakers of course, but you should understand the expectations because guests will be much much harder on your property than you will.

   7. You might consider a warranty for the second house. DH has one for his house, and it saves both money and time (because the warranty company has pre-established relationships with tradespeople, who have turned out to be really great experts).

   8. I am a landlord of my old condo. I rent it by the year, but when a major event came to our city, thought about how much more I could get for an AirBNB and looked into it. The insurance that I had for long-term rentals would not have covered short-term rentals (so there is a different policy for that). Also, I would need to charge my city’s hotel tax on short-term rentals, which AirBNB and other platforms didn’t have a means to handle in a way that would have been transparent (so I’d have been backing those numbers out of my net and remitting to the city). There was one other license thing that I needed per local ordinance, which was easy. Ultimately, I found that peak-time cleaning and turnaround service was unreliable (so my job in a pinch, and I already juggle a job and kids and just don’t have time for that even if it is LOCAL) and didn’t want to be on the hook, so I stuck with yearly rentals and have a long term tenant and it is just so much easier.

      A horror story from a friend: locals know if your house is vacant and you should put up outside cameras if there is any sort of hot tub with a view or deck with a view and teens will hook up in any large hammock accessable to them. Watch for empty beer cans, etc. because even if no one breaks in, people often party on the outside if they can. Teens will be teens.

      1. Here’s my horror story: After I lovingly remodeled and decorated my house, only to move in to my husband’s house when we married, I briefly considered turning it into an AirBNB. I had it listed for only a week or so when somebody called claiming to have rented it for the weekend when I had no record of it — long story short it turned out to be a scam and I came thisclose to letting him in the door and Lord knows how hard it would have been to get him out! That pretty much cured me of wanting to proceed as an AirBNB host.

   9. Consider how emotionally invested you’ll be in the house. I know people who stopped renting theirs because of the constant damage to the home. Even if the rental income covers the cost of repairs they hated that every time they used the house there were scuff marks on the wall, stained furniture, or chipped plates. It felt like their home was continually getting trashed and they had to brace themselves every time they walked through the door.

      If you do rent it out then install a lock on a walk-in closet for your own stuff. That’s where you keep liquor, extra clothes and sunscreen, non-perishable food, etc.

   10. In my area, the labor shortage has also hit the folks who clean STRs and it’s basically impossible to get a consistent service or independent cleaner to be available, so consider that.

       1. This right here.

   11. My sister does this. She lives about an hour and a half from a lake so bought a house she intended to be partly rental, partly her own family use. It was so popular it was quickly rented out every week – she didn’t reserve weeks for herself because she thought her family would just use the “leftover” weeks, but there weren’t any. So then she bought a second one that she likes better, kept the first one as a full time rental, and is more careful about blocking her own weeks as soon as the calendar opens up.

       She uses a property manager but went through one crappy one before she found the current one.

   12. YoungHouseLove had a similar rental house set-up that they maintained. I think one of their blog posts went over the costs and time and maintenance it took for them. They ending up selling their two rentals, but it may have been to afford a proper move to a beach house in Florida.

   13. A friend of mine runs a web site on this very topic and although I have never put any of her advice into practice, it seems sound and the pictures are fun to look at: https://marilynntaylor.com/

       1. Oops in mod for a bad word. Check this out for advice: https://marilynntaylor.com/

   14. My neighbor rents out her primary house on airbnb: the biggest things are being exquisitely picky about guests (nothing less than a 4.8 usually), making sure you have the maximum possible number of beds (i.e. futons, pullout couches, murphy beds everywhere) and making sure everything is idiot proof- she has instructions for how to turn on TV, oven etc, where light switches are and so on. She also locks up garage with anything that would be heartbreaking to lose.

   15. Thank you all! Really good points to consider (and have convinced me to hit pause on the idea of short term rental idea). This is a home that we love and that could quickly and easily be destroyed by harder tenants (older furniture, etc.). I think if there are years we aren’t likely to use it as much, we’ll consider a longer term rental — though excellent points on making sure we don’t end up having eviction issues.

   16. One of my best friends does this and her biggest piece of advice is to (1) strictly limit the number of people allowed; (2) put in your listing that you have an outside camera and will be monitoring the number of people and it it exceed the maximum allowed you will kick them out and not return their money.

       She also said that as long as it is super clear in the listing Airbnb will back you up on this.

       She adds never put anything in the rental that you would be upset to have stolen or destroyed and make sure all of your linens and towels are white (to allow for bleaching).

   17. If you want to avoid people who just want a house for a party weekend, the minimum stay is your friend.

8. Something died in the wall behind my bathroom. Would something like Damp Rid help absorb the odor? I am keeping a window open and running the vent fan, but it’s not keeping up. It seems to be coming from behind the vanity. The critter control guy can’t come for another week (and even still, I don’t think they’ll break through the wall or anything).

   1. A charcoal air filter is probably your best bet.

   2. My friend had that happen. He broke through the wall and removed the dead critter, then fixed the wall.

   3. Ugh, I’m sorry. You may have more luck covering the smell with something more pungent, like an open bowl of white vinegar, rather than damp rid (which just pulls moisture out of the air, it doesn’t really do anything for odors).

      On the bright side, the worst of the smell will likely be gone in a week, especially if your weather is warm.

   4. I think these help with odor: https://www.amazon.com/airBOSS-Neutralizing-Eliminator-Storage-Closets/dp/B08VQ2K3GT/

   5. I agree with the other suggestions of charcoal filters, but if the stench is terrible or you think the animal is large(ish) you may consider a cardboard box and open a big sack of cooking charcoal into that. It’ll help absorb it faster than a little one meant for shoes/closets.

9. I inherited an accent chair from my aunt. The chair has four wooden legs, two straight rods that are fine and two curved / not quite L shape legs, one is fine and one is broken. The chair is otherwise in good shape but I’d like to use it. Wood glue is not an option (part of the leg is missing). I went to a big box store and couldn’t find anything that matched. Is there a good resource online to order a custom or replacement leg?

   1. Look at Etsy. There are several vendors who sell an assortment of legs (thirteencolonies is one but there are a bunch). You might not be able to match the existing exactly but you could get 2 and replace them both.

      I recently bought a cheap IKEA chair and after ordering a slip cover and new legs on Etsy I I have a really beautiful piece of furniture that stands up to my puppy (which are why I did not invest in something more expensive).

   2. A local company that does custom woodwork/trim can probably custom make one to match.

      1. Budget version: contact a local woodworkers group. One near me is full of old retired men who are delighted to have a project and less focused on making a big profit.

10. I posted last week about a local campaign that I’m coordinating – we are having a launch party soon, and I need to organize food for it. I’d love some ideas for what to serve – here are the stipulations:

    The party is at 5pm, so there needs to be enough to put together a “dinner” (even if it’s a bunch of appetizers).
    There will be about 75 people there, including children.
    There must be plenty of vegetarian options.
    It will be outdoors, served buffet style.

    thanks!

    1. Call your local Indian restaurant! You’ll be supporting local (not a chain), it’ll be tasty and there are tons of vegetarian options that’ll appeal to vegetarians and non-veg alike.

    2. Unless it’s a $1,000+ per head party, whatever is cheap. I would do mac & cheese and salad.

    3. Presuming the goal isn’t to burn a lot of cash, I’d do pizza or Costco party platters.

    4. You do not need to use campaign money to give people enough food for dinner. You simply don’t. There are more important things for a campaign to spend money on. Your top priority needs to be budget, not menu.

    5. Vote to consider having 1-2 people assigned to serving whatever food you choose so that a bunch of people haven’t had their hands and breath all over the food before a guest eats it.

    6. I attended a lot of campaign fundraisers for a prior job and would not expect anything approaching dinner at a 5 pm event like this. I would say a decent but basic cheese and fruit tray and maybe one or two hot appetizers would be top of the line in my area unless it was a high donation dollar event.

       For an event with a lot of kids, I second the pizza idea. The fanciest family oriented fundraisers I attended did a cook out or some kind of barbecue. I never expected the food to be good – I was there to meet the candidate and network.

    7. Unless they are donating a lot, a Costco tray of fruit and cheese and some chips is all the is expected necessary or appropriate

11. Looking for suggestions for my mom’s mothers day gift. I normally try to do an experience in our city, but our schedules won’t line up until mid-July and that’s too far away. Budget is about $50.

    My mom is very low-key, late 50s, 5th grade teacher. Hobbies are mostly hanging out with friends and home or garden improvement projects (though, thanks to the pandemic, she is all caught up). She is super active, and is constantly on the move. She plays tennis, golf, Pickleball and kayaks and surfs in the summer, but has everything she needs for those activities. She’s not into luxury anything: she shops at the sale section at Old Navy, is not at all a foodie (and my dad does the cooking), has never had a pedicure in her life, doesn’t have a skincare routine, wouldn’t appreciate flowers. She doesn’t drink coffee or tea and barely drinks alcohol ($10 bottles of red wine only; she would not appreciate a nicer bottle of wine). She is dyslexic so doesn’t read for fun.

    I live about 30 minutes away, so I see them almost weekly, so some sort of family time or visit isn’t a gift, since it happens regularly.

    All of the online gift guides are for someone way bougier than my mom!

    1. My mom is a lot like yours. For years now, I’ve given her potted flowers for Mother’s Day. I have a great time picking out a beautiful container and arrangement, and she gets to enjoy her gift for months.

       Online gift guides make me laugh in general. I don’t have any family members that are that bougie!

       1. Oh you just reminded me! When my grandparents were alive my mom always got them hanging baskets for Mother’s Day /Father’s Day. My grandfather was a big gardener and would count on all of his kids getting him plants when he would plan out his garden each spring!

          I think I might start doing the same for her!

       2. My great aunt is similar as well! Her daughter got her a subscription service once where the company delivered a small pot with a potted plant each month. I think they sent you the pot, a bulb and the soil to plant the bulb. She talked about this gift for YEARS, she loved it so much.

       3. +1 I do a hanging flower basket for my mom every mothers day. My youngest sister started doing this a few years ago too, so whoever gets the best one (which isn’t always the most expensive – sometimes it’s just the healthiest or the best for the light) gets the spot right by the front door, and then there’s a spot for another one at the front of the house.

    2. That sounds kind of like me and I honestly prefer not to get gifts at all, as it just feels wasteful, though I do at least like some food things, since I have to eat anyway! If you have to get something and can’t think of a consumable , what about a donation to something education related?

       1. My family has very much cut back on gifts, but my dad is very much “you need to get your mother a gift” so here we are! And, gift cards and donations don’t count as gifts in his book. Hence, why I usually get us tickets to some local attraction.

       2. +1 The only time I regularly get my parents gifts is Christmas, and occasionally on other holidays if I see the perfect thing. They can get themselves whatever they want and truly want their children to save their money. I write and send a thoughtful card instead.

          Thinking out into the future, I will also have no expectations of my kids getting me gifts and would also prefer they save money and stress (and clutter). I would like to be acknowledged in some way, but a card or phone call would handle that.

    3. It seems that my mum is very similar to yours. She actually appreciates skincare gifts, so that she doesn’t have to research or shop for cosmetics. I’m gifting her a non-fuss, relatively affordable regimen with an explanation on what to use when. You could gift body care as well – things like a shower oil for mum who hates moisturizer. Also, however cliche it seems, she may love a sincere card.

       1. I have tried with the skincare before and she won’t do it! She’s militant about sunscreen (after having several pre-cancerous spots removed), but I can’t even get her to use moisturizer with SPF, let alone eye cream, serum, night moisturizer, etc.

          1. OK, so it’s more like my grandma :) we’ve been giving her shampoo, coffee, chocolate and moisturizes on repeat (drugstore-priced or equivalent). Yes, she used moisturizer, but no spf. She would also spend five minutes complaining about futility of wrapping paper or an equivalent (how else are we supposed to give you a Christmas gift? We’ve went for paper bags that were recycled from the last year, cut complaint to two minutes).

             That is to say, I understand and commiserate.

    4. I’ve had luck with a potted flowering plant, that is also a perennial that she can replant in her garden if she would like.

    5. Personalized book plate stickers! I bought them online, and they are great.

       1. Sorry. I was responding to “5th grade teacher” and didn’t focus on “dyslexic so doesn’t read much.” Never mind.

    6. What about a gift certificate for a restaurant she likes?

    7. My dad doesn’t sound too different, but one thing he does like is a weekend away. I’m in Dallas, he’s in a far far suburb and this birthday I got him and my stepmom two nights in a hotel in Fort worth and a gift card to a good mexican place within walking distance. The hotel came with breakfast and they could get out of their house for a few days. Would she have any interest in something like that? It could be more cabin on a good kayaking lake if that’s her scene

       1. She would, but that is way over my $50 budget :)

          1. Sorry, missed the budget there. keep in mind for a christmas group gift then?

    8. The plant idea is good.

       My dad has gotten into puzzles and I’m thinking about taking a dumb family photo and turning it into a puzzle for him for Fathers Day. Not sure what I’ll do for Mothers Day.

    9. My mom sounds very similar to your mom, but she likes flowers and fancy chocolates (See’s) so that’s what I do.

    10. Hear me out … Battery organizer plus a package of AA and AAA batteries from Amazon to get her started. It sounds entirely un-fun but people have really enjoyed it.

    11. Really random, but worth a suggestion: this week is my mom’s birthday and I got her the Friendsheep Wool Eco Dryer Balls Busy Bee set – they are are wool dryer balls that look like bees. My parents raise bees so they’re perfect. I couldn’t resist getting the disco set for myself. Super practical, but still very cute and fun.

        1. I love these, have the sheep ones, and have thought about gifting them!

    12. I would get her some nice tennis socks and some pink tennis balls that she can use in her regular games. Maybe a cute sun visor if she would wear it, too.

    13. I’m your mom’s age but not as low key as she is. Of all the suggestions I think I would like the blooming plant best, along with a heartfelt card. And if you’re coming over, make her a meal. I HATE going to a restaurant on Mother’s Day because of the crowds and long waits.

    14. My mom was a teacher and she was always buying things for her classroom. How about a gift certificate to the local teacher’s supply store?

        1. Lucky for her, she’s at a very well funded school so the school covers all supplies!

    15. I have a very similar mom and am digitizing our family videos that are on VHS tapes for Mother’s Day this year. Our public library actually has the setup for it!

    16. I know you say she has everything she needs for the activities she likes, but what about gift card for round of golf or tennis? That should be under 50, and i feel like those experiences are more personal than general gift card. Other gift i have liked to do lately is a national park pass, though at 80 dollars it’s over your budget.
        Is your mom into photos of family? My mom always appreciates a current photo and frame almost more than anything else or even just the photo print, and she switches out one on her gallery wall.
        Are there any treats your mom would like? For my grandma, i got her a couple of nice cheeses from whole foods, crackers, and the cheese saver bags. My mom really loves the chicago mix popcorn from garrets, and you can get that for under 50. Other idea could be jigsaw puzzles, the 500 piece size is one my mom and grandma really enjoy.

    17. Flowers all the way. Almost everyone like nice bouquets or the hanging baskets below seem nice. Do you have kids? Maybe some nice art to nice share from them.

    18. I have several family members who fall into this category. Here are some things that have worked out well in the past:
        – Glassybaby votive (pros – woman owned business in PNW with a focus on giving back)
        – Bearaby hugget
        – Lego sets (I bought the wildflower ones for myself and love them)
        – Frame from a small local shop with a special photo
        – Pudus socks
        – Spare chargers / Ankar multi-port chargers
        – Darn tough socks
        – Teleties hair ties
        – Jellycat stuffed animal (surprisingly a huge hit for all ages)

12. And since we’ve mentioned Kara Goucher already, I started listening to her podcast (have not read the book; previously not familiar with her). She talks about injuries a lot. A lot. Is that common in elite athletes? I know that things like skating and gymnastics have a ton of injuries (in part due to tiny athletes not eating and a lot of training and some tendencies in each sport towards toxic eating / body relationship). Running has more adult women, so I am hoping it’s just more miles = more wear and tear, but as I’m getting into running as it gets harder and harder to work tennis into my schedule, want to be mindful of pushing a body used to a desk job too far / hard. I know overuse / misuse injuries can happen easily enough in any sport, but I would also think that maybe something about how bad the Oregon Project was was less protective even with coaches, trainers, PT staff than a non-elite adult runner with none of that but just ice and Advil to throw at aches.

    I recommend the podcast, but it has made me wary of running even though she and her co-host clearly love it.

    1. I say this with love, but you’re not going to be training at that level. I am an extremely mediocre runner in my early 40s, have been doing it for quite a while but never at super high mileage. I have remained injury free, except for the time when my clumsy self managed to sprain my ankle doing jumping jacks.

       1. I mean, this is just plain false. Mediocre runners get injured all the time. Probably at a higher rate than elite runners because they know less.

          1. There was an all-guy running group at my old job. They were in their 20s when they started & had been doing it for about 10 years when I started. By their 40s several of them had experienced injuries serious enough that they’d had surgeries, and then about half of them broke off and became a cycling group.

             1. Haha, I can’t help chuckling at the idea of switching from running to cycling so you’ll have fewer injuries…

             2. Yes, I guess bike vs car is an issue, but most of them switched to cycling due to knee or stress fracture issues.

             3. I was a serious runner and then became a competitive cyclist. I absolutely had far fewer injuries as a cyclist than as a runner. Crashes (both car crashes and just laying the bike down) are absolutely a possibility, but you do not have the same exposure to the overuse injuries associated with running. And you can reduce car crash risk significantly by sticking to rail trails, riding gravel, or riding in lower traffic areas.

    2. I ran in high school and always heard that high school girls cross country had a higher injury rate than football. That matches my experience. Shin splints, stress fractures, knee injuries, etc. were very common.

       1. Really? My cc team was state champs for 2/4 years and we almost never had anyone out for injury.

          1. https://www.nytimes.com/1993/12/04/sports/track-field-girls-cross-country-taking-a-heavy-toll-study-shows.html

             I hope training has improved since I was in high school, but I suspect some of this is still an issue, though probably not quite as bad.

          2. Your XC team might have been state champions precisely because your coach trained you in ways to avoid injury. If several women are sidelined due to injuries, and others aren’t running their best because they came off three months of rest, the team won’t do well overall even if any particular runner is not, at the moment, injured.

       2. I should add that I no longer run, largely because of injuries (knees and Achilles tendons), but I am still very active and incredibly grateful for the experience I had as an athlete in high school. Learning to deal with injuries and to know when to push through pain and when to stop is actually really helpful in all areas of life.

          1. +1 million to your last sentence.

       3. I got a stress fracture over 10 years ago and it still hurts there if I overdo it.

    3. The casual runners I know get injured way more than I am comfortable with. Shin splints, knee issues, ankle twists, I don’t even know what all. Maybe there’s a sweet spot where you’re neither too out of shape nor pushing yourself too hard, but I hate pain so prefer dancing, swimming, and the elliptical.

    4. I wouldn’t take their injuries or experiences with Oregon Project as a reason to be hesitant about running. Unfortunately, that organization and many other elite coaches/schools, etc., treated their runners terribly and did what they thought was best for the team/org vs. the athlete. With Kara and others, some of the injuries could be from a lack of nutrition since the coaches really pushed weight loss. The thinking there was lower weight = faster. In addition, overuse was commonplace.

       For the casual runner, even competitive but not elite, these hopefully won’t apply. Obviously, EDs may have similar impacts to the above. Otherwise, just listen to your body. Get a proper shoe fitting done. Don’t be afraid of orthotics/inserts (you can use your FSA for them!). Stretch. Foam roll. Rest. And build up slowly. If something feels wrong, slow down or rest. Don’t be afraid to get things looked at by a doctor.

    5. I’m not sure where to start. Elite runners out in 100 mile weeks. Of course that wears down the body.

       Sources of injury for non elite runners:
       Increasing mileage too soon/fast
       Adding two stresses at a time (ex., increasing mileage and intensity simultaneously)
       Not stretching
       Underlying issues that flare up under repetitive motion
       Not knowing when to cut workouts short/doing long runs or speed work that is too intense for the base

       1. I’ll add not strength training. signed, Mom of some D1 runners

          1. +1 to both of these comments. If you have had children, get evaluated by a pelvic floor PT before you start running.

             1. Anon at 10:32 here. Agree with strength training and PF physical therapy (even if you have had a c section).

                One of the things that helped me a lot is understanding that it’s better to start a race 10% undertrained than 1% overtrained.

                Running is cumulative – your aerobic base builds and builds, which is why the great marathoners are often in their 30s. That means that it’s better to shorten one workout to keep uninjured than to push too hard and need to take weeks or months off. To that end, consistency also trumps a few high mileage weeks.

                When your form falls apart or things hurt, you’re done with the workout. You are either reaching beyond your base (bad), or you’re having an off day (which happens). Regardless, pack it in.

                If you’re training seriously, ensure that each workout has a purpose. I think people’s bodies break down when they just go out and run until they hurt, rather than putting all of the pieces together.

       2. +3 from an ultrarunner who has never had a significant or long-lasting injury because I don’t run when I know I shouldn’t be, I only run fast for speed workouts, I strength train, I listen to my body and actually take rest, true rest days, and don’t feel like I have anything to prove so don’t run insane runs to be able to post them on Strava.

    6. Yes pretty much all elite athletes get injured. And in skating it’s not a problem that’s limited to young girls who starve themselves – lots of men have injury issues too and they’re mostly in their 20s and have a more typical body shape.

       1. I remember my martial arts teacher always used to say, “If you’re gonna do sports, you’re gonna get injured.”

    7. Yes absolutely running causes a huge amount of injuries.

       1. Sitting on your a*s causes a lot more damage. Walk, run, mow your yard… just move.

    8. I’m a casual runner and also do several other workouts / activities and none of my injuries have come from running. I run approx 10 miles a week and then do 1-2 half marathons a year (and thus up my running while training) and I’ve been fine; I don’t run enough for overuse injuries, I fuel myself appropriately (I actually spend a lot of time thinking about fueling), I stretch and I cross train (I lift 2x a week, bike 20ish miles on weekends, and play in a soccer league). In my adult life my sports related injuries have come from: tweaking a pre-existing injury from when I played college soccer, throwing out my back playing soccer (2x), and a sprained ankle while hiking.

       Elite runners are usually very skinny and I know several who had had EDs at some point in their careers, which definitely can cause injuries. Elite teams can be abusive and push athletes way beyond their limits, encourage training through injury, encourage toxic relationships with eating. I think the issues faced by runners at the Oregon Project are not going to be issues you face as a casual runner. Elite athletes in any sport will face issues that the casual among us do not!

       1. I read this as elite runners have had erectile dysfunction at some point in their careers and was like, wow, I didn’t know this could be a cause!

    9. Be intentional and gradual in your increases and you’ll most likely be fine. As a rule, increase either intensity or distance, not both in the same workout.
       You’re extremely unlikely to get an overuse injury from 20-40 miles per week. Outside of elite athletes we pretty much ALL need to move more than we do. Of course klutz injuries can happen to anyone, heaven knows I’ve had a few.

    10. Well, in general my active friends are doing really great health wise with aging, in terms of common things like joint problems/back pain etc… But my friends who were high powered athletes and pushed hard into adulthood have more joint injuries/replacements, chronic pain issues, focal arthritis etc…

        1. Every friend who played high school and college sports and continued to be active afterwards has had at least one joint replacement. My non-athlete friends have not. I think that our joints have a certain amount of life use in them, and more active people hit the limit at younger ages. None of them would change their active lifestyles, and all continue to be more active than the average bear.

        2. Every friend who played high school and college sports and continued to be active afterwards has had at least one joint replacement. My non-athlete friends have not. I think that our joints have a certain amount of life use in them, and more active people hit the limit at younger ages. None of them would change their active lifestyles, and all continue to be more active than the average bear.

    11. If you’re super concerned, you can go to a PT for coaching on how to run. They can look at things like single leg strength, if your gait is even, and so on and prescribe you exercises. If you’ve had kids it’s also somewhat common for PTs to have “return to run” programs.

        You can get injured from running but as a casual runner, I wouldn’t worry much.

        1. I second this. I think scheduling a session or two with a PT who works with athletic adults who have desk jobs can be really helpful. I’ve learned in the last couple of years that there’s a lot of “prehab” you can do to try to prevent running injuries – certain strength exercises, slight changes in running form, mobility exercises. I wish I’d done those things before I got inured.

    12. I don’t know if runners are more prone to injury but I find that running injuries have a big impact on my daily life. If I have shin splints and can barely walk it’s more disruptive than my brother skipping baseball practice because he strained his pitching shoulder.

    13. If you’re a person who does things, you can get hurt doing those things. It’s just a fact of life. I don’t think you should be afraid to run because of this. But yes, I’ve had stress fractures, IT band pain, I’ve broken a finger tripping while falling running, my husband broke his arm the same way. Elite athletes deal with way more than a casual athlete. But you could get injured just as easily riding a bike, playing tennis, etc. than running.

        1. I agree with this. It’s important to get out and do things in life. A low-risk life is not a fun life for me – and it’s also no guarantee of staying healthy and injury-free. In fact, I think I would have more injuries and be significantly less healthy if I were less active.

        2. If someone likes running and thinks it is worth it, that’s great!

           But it is also okay to choose a lower impact activity that is objectively lower risk and that may be more sustainable over time especially if one doesn’t enjoy running and has lower tolerance for injuries.

           1. +1

              I would venture all the “you’ll never get hurt running” commenters are on the younger side.

              1. I’m the ultra runner above and I am in my late 40s. Some of the best ultra runners in my area are in their 50s and 60s. They kick my butt. Shrug

              2. 45 years old, all distances from 5k to marathon. Been running since the mid 90s. Train smart. learn and listen to your body.

    14. If possible, I think it helps not to do just one thing/exercise. They want little kids to rotate sports, and I think it’s helpful for adults too. Take days off when you have issues. Maybe you run and have a race goal, but also lift weights, or take yoga/pilates. Just be mediocre/be active and don’t worry about pushing yourself to the highest possible level, and it’ll probably be fine.

        Also buy new shoes every once and awhile.

13. CAn you please share your favorite US summer travel destinations? Im late to planning summer travel and prices are insane. We have two kids, 5 and 8, but are open to kind of …anything. I just want to get out of town and cant figure out where. We are in DC and planning to do a long weekend getaway to NYC already. So far, Im considering the grand canyon or somewhere in Florida. I need direction! thanks!

    1. Maine, Cape Cod, Savannah, Charleston, New Orleans, Palm Springs, coastal Northern California, Lake Tahoe, that’s most of my list.

    2. From DC, I’d check out the Greenbrier or New River gorge in WVa.

       1. Or the Homestead, for a Greenbrier-type experience at a lower price point and (IMO) more charming setting. You can rent homes in the Homestead vacation club if the resort is booked, and they have access to the facilities.

    3. Outer Banks.

       1. +1. My wife’s family went there for years, and we’ve been a couple times ourselves. It’s a great spot for families. Folly Beach is also a good option.
          As far as Florida, my family always did Cocoa Beach in the summer. There’s enough of a breeze off the ocean that the heat is manageable.

    4. Florida in the summer sounds awful to me, but I’m not a fan of heat of and humidity and we go to Florida frequently in the winter and early spring to escape the cold weather at home. We love the Maine coast, especially the Bar Harbor/Acadia area, and go there every summer. Tons to do with kids. The Portland area is nice too, although I’m less familiar with it. Pacific Northwest would be nice too I think.

       1. Coastal FL in summer (the Atlantic side) is great – and not that much warmer than home tbh. if it’s 90 degrees out either place, I’d rather be hanging out in the pool rather than walking to work in a swampy city.

          1. You’re probably right that it’s not that much warmer than home (although I think the humidity is a big factor – I used to live in Miami and thought 85 in Miami was much less tolerable than 85 in New England or the Midwest), but if I’m traveling I want to go somewhere with better weather than home so I tend to save Florida for when it’s cold at home and try to go to places that are cooler or at least less humid in the summers.

    5. Florida or Grand Canyon in the summer will be insanely hot. Some people don’t mind the heat, but we aren’t them, so we always go to New England. History, lobster rolls, ice cream stands, beaches, parks.

    6. well do you want to drive or fly? do you want cities or beach or more hiking/nature? how long are you looking to go away for? My family went to Vail when my sister and I were those ages and it was a great trip. Went to Aspen a different summer. i grew up in the DC area and there are also a lot of places you can drive to. One summer we drove to somewhere in West Virginia and did hiking, white water rafting, etc. And another time did something similar in the Poconos. Another year we did a sort of road trip with stops along the way and went to Providence, RI, Cooperstown, NY, Corning, NY, and then went up into canada to go to great falls and toronto (typing this out i think my parents were insane bc i wouldnt want to spend that long in the car with my kids, but i have two 4 year olds, so maybe it’s easier with older kids). South Carolina beaches can be fun. much of florida is humid and disgusting in the summer (worse than DC) so make sure you aren’t choosing one of those areas.

       1. I know you said US, but I’d also check out the 1000 Islands on the Canadian side. There are still a good number of rentals available, including cottages in the Sandbanks (Prince Edward County). It’s a low key, old school kids in a canoe type vacation experience.

    7. San Diego or Santa Barbara.

       1. +1 and drive up the coast and hit Hearst Castle and environs.

    8. Maine is a great East coast summer destination (we love Kennebunkport). San Diego or Newport Beach if you’re willing to travel further. Jackson, Wyoming. The ski resort areas in Utah and Colorado also have lots of fun summer activities. Lake Tahoe.

       Florida and the Grand Canyon are both way too hot for my taste in the summer, but YMMV.

    9. Not in the US, but we went to Montreal last summer and really enjoyed that. Or also in Canada, the Atlantic Provinces are lovely.

    10. We had the best time in Moab and the surrounding Utah National Parks. Don’t miss Goblin Valley State Park when you’re there.

    11. Except for the northernmost parts, Florida is too hot in the summer for my taste, and I say this as a native Southerner. If you just want to chill on a beach, I like the beaches near Charleston (Isle of Palms, Sullivan’s, etc) and several of the NC beaches (Topsail, Oak, I have yet to make it to the outer banks but people love them.)

    12. My favorite is my favorite because it’s local – the Russian River area – but for flying across the country, consider Lake Tahoe.

14. Help! We are looking for a new kitchen table. I really like the look of (a) The Copenhague 20 table in off-white from Hay (sold through DWR); and, (b) The IKEA Mariedamm Table in beige. But DWR doesn’t carry floor models, so I can’t assess what it looks like — and the IKEA floor model looked pretty dinged up, which suggested to me that it might not be the best.

    Two questions: (1) Does anyone have experience with the Copenhague 20 or the Mariedamm Table? (2) Any other recommendations for a kitchen table? Looking for a durable, light colored round table approximately 40-45″ in diameter. TIA!

    1. It might be more work then you are up to, but bought something similar off a mid-century modern vintage furniture facebook group. I love it!

    2. Kitchen tables are something I never buy new and I have no aversion to new stuff. If you have any vintage sources, there are much better looking options at a fraction of the cost everywhere. My theory is kitchen tables are precise in terms of what you need to fit a space and rarely move well, so they get sold a lot. And many are in great condition.

       1. I am absolutely open to used furniture — but I’ve been striking out with Craigslist, Facebook, and Kaiyo. Any favorite used retailers?

          1. My best finds have been in person at local vintage resellers. If you don’t have any, check out Chairish (spendy though) and Everything But The House. I also just stalk Facebook marketplace, it may take a while but something usually pops up.

    3. Just wanted to comment commiseration for your search on this. I needed a round kitchen table this dimension a couple of months ago after moving into a new to me house. It was really annoying not to have the right size of table off our kitchen. I know the options are limited out there. It’s like a goldilocks size a lot of retailers are not catering to.
       I ended up splurging a bit and buying a marble table from Pottery Barn. I plan on living in this house for a super long time. The style I chose is way more traditional than the ones you’ve mentioned. But I will say if you can hold out for something made out of stone (Ex. I’ve seen tulip style table pop up used from time to time). I’ve been really happy with spending a little more and having a stone table versus a inexpensive laminate table I’ll end up needing to replace a lot. I’m ok with the concept of natural wear and tear when it comes to stone. Especially if you have a darker space you’re wanting to brighten up with a light table, stone would go a long way to help with that.

       1. Thank you! I am okay spending a little more (forever home). In terms of marble: how does it hold up with daily use? I have two messy, young kids, and so it’s important for me that I’m able to buy something that is durable and won’t stain easily if a spill isn’t caught in time.

          1. Marble etches from anything acidic. It’s not great for young children.

          2. I have a toddler so I can feel the pain. So far, even if food or milk or something has been on it for a bit, I’ve been able to clean it off without issue. I do try to wipe it off every evening. The marble I bought is sealed and I do know I’ll need to put treatment on it about once a year. The only thing I really watch out for is things like wine. I am noticing a little bit of pitting where the stone is veined. But it seems pretty natural to me.

    4. This is a tiny bit wider than you want, and it wasn’t cheap, but we have it and we love it: https://www.castlery.com/us/products/theo-round-dining-table

       1. It is too big for our space, sadly — but absolutely gorgeous!!

15. My husband and I are TTC and we’re both about to turn 35. I started getting life insurance quotes, but he thinks the whole thing is a scam and doesn’t want to do it at all. Is this a battle I should fight or just go insurance-less? I know my parents never had life insurance when I was growing up, but they were generally very anti-insurance and I am very risk-averse, so I’m not sure what’s “normal” here.

    1. In a similar boat, eagerly following for responses. We are planning to get quotes for term life insurance but I have been stalling because I don’t know which online broker to start with. Any ideas??

    2. I think life insurance on at least one parent is important, although it depends on who your planned caregivers will be. If your planned guardians are wealthy and willing to absorb the costs of raising your kid(s) it may not be such a big deal. How much you need is also highly variable. Fwiw we carry minimal life insurance on me because my husband has a very secure job (tenured professor) and wouldn’t want to stop working if I died, but we have enough insurance on him (~$1M) that I could stop working for several years and/or switch to part-time work until our child is grown without decimating our savings or lifestyle. Our house is paid off and our fixed costs are low, otherwise it would be more.

    3. It totally depends on your personal circumstances. Both my husband and I have big jobs and no kids. We can afford our lifestyle on one salary. So life insurance doesn’t make sense for us. We also both get great disability insurance through our respective jobs. I see it more as a product to offset the death of a high earning spouse the family depends on. If that is you or your likely future, then getting it younger can make sense. But there are a lot of other ways to invest and save for a catastrophe.

       1. I think since they’re planning to have kids, it’s almost certainly a good idea. The only scenario under which it’s not necessary for parents is if the intended guardians are really wealthy and wouldn’t expect any financial help in raising the kids. Our caregivers are my very affluent parents (who are already setting aside significant money for my kid’s college) and I’d still feel guilty about sticking them with a kid to raise for 12+ years and no money.

          Totally agree with you that many DINKs don’t need it.

       2. Life insurance is not just about earnings; it’s about replacing the work that one person does for free. If a SAHM dies, the kids don’t suddenly not need care; the family needs to pay someone else for what their mother used to do. Same applies even to say, teacher or professor parents who watch the kids during the summer, a spouse who is extremely handy and saves the family money on home and car repairs, whatever.

    4. Get it now! Yes I am shouting! Do it before you are pregnant and your rates go up!

       If he thinks it is a scam, then have him think about this: if something (gd forbid) were to happen and you died suddenly when child was… say 2, how would he take care of child? Would you need to replace your income? How would he pay for child care? How would he save for college?

       I have lost two friends who had young children and in each case, the life insurance allowed the grieving spouse to take time off work, focus on the children and not have to go back to work immediately, but to plan for the next stage of life. It’s one of those things that if you never have to use, it feels like wasted money. But if you need it, it’s the best money you’ve ever spent.

       1. This. I think it is very, very foolish to not have one, especially once kids enter the equation.

       2. You don’t need life insurance that’s an investment vehicle; you do need something to ensure that the family can replace your contributions.

       3. YES!! Good Lord! He may be thinking of whole life insurance, which is at least scam-adjacent, but term life insurance is a MUST if you are planning on starting a family!

    5. A basic term life insurance policy is not a scam and is something people with children should have unless you have enough money set aside to care for your children until they are adults. People have different opinions about whole life insurance policies.

    6. My husband has a history of cancer and I have a chronic heart condition, so we can’t get life insurance through a broker or company. We just max out what we can get through our employers and hope that will be enough (we’re currently insured for about $350k each). We also have almost seven figures of investments, so that plus the life insurance would be enough to help someone get through the crisis and be relatively comfortable.

    7. This is a battle you should fight. What if both you and your husband are killed in a car accident? What if one of you gets terminal cancer?

       DH and I each have $750k in coverage for a 20 year term.

    8. When my husband and I had our kid, I got a term policy on myself, basically to cover loss of income/childcare contributions if I died. My husband has policies through work. My regular insurance agent got me set up; I’ll let it lapse once my kid is basically past high school age. Remember also that if you both pay into SS, there are benefits payable to a surviving spouse and dependent children [and you can look those what you could expect to get online], but that may not be an adequate replacement for a parent’s paid or unpaid contributions to the family.

    9. You both need to get big policies right now!! Term insurance is not a scam and it’s cheap. “Whole life” etc is scammy, stay away.

       1. Can you explain the difference? Someone asked me this recently and I didn’t know what to tell them!

          1. Sure. An example of term life insurance is you pay $900/year, for a $2 million policy for 20 years. That means (as long as you are current in your $900 annual premium), if you die anytime in the 20 years, the insurance company pays $2MM to your beneficiaries. The premium and the benefit are both fixed $ for the 20 years. So if you get any health condition after your policy is issued, it does not affect the insurance. Just keep paying the premium. It is NOT an investment, it’s insurance for your family if The worst should happen. . Here’s an explainer from Dave Ramsey – he’s 100% right on this https://www.ramseysolutions.com/insurance/term-life-vs-whole-life-insurance?gad=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI37HDqPXC_gIVFxPUAR2qegcKEAAYASAAEgJKavD_BwE
             Here’s a Bogleheads thread on the same https://www.bogleheads.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=354258

             “Whole life” and anything that claims to mix investment with insurance : is usually the worst of both worlds. There are many aliases: cash value insurance like whole life, index universal life, variable universal life, permanent insurance, etc

             1. Thank you!

          2. https://www.cnn.com/cnn-underscored/money/term-life-insurance-vs-whole-life#:~:text=With%20that%20being%20said%2C%20the,coverage%20in%20the%20same%20amount.

    10. Get term life insurance. I had a minimal amount before I had kids and now have a pretty robust policy with a teen and a tween. Parents with young kids do pass away – I can think of 6 or 7 in my circle and I’m about a decade older than you are right now.

        When I was a kid, one of the neighborhood dads died really suddenly and the life insurance gave his widow enough income to stay in their house and keep the kids at their school for many years. Before he died she was a SAHM and she didn’t go into the workforce for several years after his death. It was tragic but he had provided for his family.

    11. OP here. Thank you all, I will continue to fight on this one. I think one thing my husband is concerned about is that we’d be locked into whatever for 30 years. I’m assuming if you change your mind at some point about wanting coverage, you can just stop paying for it, right? But I’m also assuming it would become harder to make changes as you get older? Can anybody confirm or correct me here?

        1. Correct. It will never be cheaper or easier to get than now. If you win the lotto or save enough that the insurance becomes meaningless, just stop paying.

           1. Fight for this. Literally every day you don’t have it, you could get a diagnosis that makes you expensive or impossible to insure.

        2. The locked-in payment amount is not a bug, it’s a feature. You get pricing based on your age and health now, while you are young and healthy. This is definitely a hill worth dying on!

        3. yes, one of my mom’s colleagues was planning on getting life insurance when the baby was born…well her husband was tragically killed in a car accident while she was pregnant. she had to move in with her parents. i suppose if you can each support a child or children on your own salary, but chances are you’d need more childcare with only 1 parent, and you might also want to re-think your job situation if g-d forbid you lost your spouse and it is much easier for those who have the luxury to do so in what is already a super challenging situation

        4. You can pick if you want 15 years, 20, years 30 years etc. Do what you’re comfortable with. Also FYI, both your weight and cholesterol get higher in pregnancy and they don’t normalize for it. If you’re pregnant when you apply, you just fall into whatever category you are based on their grid, so you personally should get it now. I’ve also heard they they will hold a post partum depression/anxiety diagnosis over you, and you’ll pay a bit more. It shouldn’t be way more, but it will be more. Again, get it now. I was stumped to get started and just started with PolicyGenius, which I think I found through NerdWallet. They pull multiple quotes and you can always go directly to the insurance companies after.

    12. whole life insurance is scammy but term life insurance is absolutely not. you should get it anyway even if you don’t have kids unless 1 person can comfortably afford your entire mortgage/rent/expenses. DH and I each got 20 year 1 mil term insurance before we got pregnant at 33 and it was really cheap, like 350$ a month. we might ladder on more term insurance since we’re now pregnant at 36

    13. I don’t think I’d be willing to have kids with someone who thinks life insurance is a scam.

        But if you must, at least get it on yourself. Plan to be able to support your children as a single mom I guess.

        1. Wouldn’t I want it on my husband then?

           1. Of course you would. Husband refusing to get life insurance is idiotic.

    14. You should absolutely fight this battle. There are two forms of life insurance- whole life and term life. Whole life is what people view as a scam (I agree). Term life is thoughtful financial planning.

        You can be thoughtful about the amount and timing. On amount, my husband and I have similar earnings, and we insured the balance of our mortgage, 1/2 the cost of college expenses for two kids (assuming we’d have some savings), and one year of living expenses. On timing, we have 3 policies – one that expires in 10 years, 1 that expires in 20 and one that expires in 30. It saves us some money so that we aren’t over insured after we have accumulated savings/passed major expenses.

        Also, I got cancer at age 31 one week before I was supposed to have my insurance physical so…my husband is insured and I can’t get insured for a few more years and it will be very expensive. It stresses me out that if I died my husband would only get my work life insurance and not have the same financial cushion.

        1. I’m so sorry you are struggling with this at such a young age. I wish you the best with your treatment. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    15. We got insurance that pays out after x years. Endowment policy? We also got accident insurance. The more you put it off, the worse it will be in terms of Premia.

16. Has anyone done the 5 boro bike tour here? Any tips? And the best way to get there from CT (wasn’t sure if the metro north was a good idea or if I should try something different such as using my bronx office parking spot and taking the subway or parking somewhere).

    1. Don’t. It was miserable. Way too crowded. Wound up just sitting in traffic for miles of it.

       1. With the caveat that I did in in 2015, so it has been a…long…time, it was great! The weather was fantastic. We took our time and had a blast. Maybe there were less people then, but we never got in a traffic jam. By far the least pleasant stretch is towards the end on the highway in Brooklyn, but other than that, I really have no complaints.

          I lived in the West Village at the time, so no advice about transport logistics. We just biked down to the starting line. We were also in the charity starting slots, so we took off in one of the first groups.

    2. I have a comment in moderation, but the short answer is that I did it in 2015 and had a great time.

    3. I’ve done it often and it’s a fantastic way to see the city. My top secret advice is to join the ride anywhere other than lower Manhattan. If Metro North will allow bikes, you could ride across 42nd Street and blend into the ride on Sixth (and make up the missing leg on the way back to the train). Get there as early as possible, but stay behind the VIP wave.

17. I’m scheduled to have a cortisone shot in my shoulder on Thursday. Never done this before. Very much trust my doc. If you’ve had this done, what should I know in terms of pain level (like, does it hurt)? Anything else you wish you’d known before getting yours?

    1. I’ve had knee injections several time, same basically concept. It’s not great, but it doesn’t hurt bad. They are sticking a needle into your joint, so you are going to feel something, but it is momentary. A few times after the injections, I have felt the extra fluid in my joint, swollen feeling.

    2. It’s over quickly. I’ve had both shoulder and knee. Expect it to feel more like pressure than pain.

       The shot takes a couple of days to fully kick in. Follow the doctor’s advice on after care – mine has me ice for 20 minutes at least 3 times that day after the shot.

    3. I’ve had this done on my shoulder a couple times. Both times, it did exactly what it was supposed to: get rid of the pain so that I could do the PT to solve the issue. My advice: do NOT look at the needle – before, during or after the injection.

    4. I had one in my shoulder about 3 years ago, and frankly it was pretty freaking painful during and for a couple days after—I was concerned it was a mistake to have done—but then it kicked in and helped a ton. (I also had frozen shoulder at the time, so that may have been a factor as well—it didn’t fix the frozen should, I did PT, but getting rid of that pain helped me be able to do PT and do things that were within the remaining range of motion !)

       1. Co-sign this.

    5. I tried injections in my knees. I found the pain of the injection varied greatly based on who was giving it. It was everything from no big deal to holy cr@p for the pain level of the injection. I also discovered that I react poorly to steroids and almost exactly 24 hours later would turn beet red, feel as if I were on fire all over, and sweat so much that my clothes looked as if I had gotten caught in a downpour.

       1. I have RA so steroid injections are a way of life for me. I don’t usually have “roid rage” when I have an injection into a joint (shoulder, knee, wrist) but when I get a shot in the butt for an overall flare, holy insomnia.

    6. I had this for a hip. procedure is kind of uncomfortable (for hip there’s an ultrasound to ensure big a$$ needle is placed accurately), but it’s quick and I only had positive effects (less pain) a few days after.

    7. I was surprised while driving home that my hand and fingers felt numb. That wore off after an hour. The pain relief was magical, and I didn’t hesitate to have another shot after six months, which resolved a frozen shoulder.

18. I am looking to buy a summer weight quilt or coverlet for my bed. Looking for something linen or cotton that is lightweight and will breathe, as I am a hot sleeper. I’ve looked at PB, Parachute, Brooklinen, and Garnet Hill, but I am indecisive. Does anyone have anything that they love that they would recommend?

    1. I have a quilt from Target’s Threshold line that I really love during the summer months. Knowing that it gets used for a season, I didn’t want to invest a ton. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how well it’s held up.

    2. You might like to look at any matelasse quilts/coverlets. They tend to wash and hold up well, and I like the cotton quotient. They come in modern and more traditional designs, and they tend to be timeless style-wise, in my opinion.
       From LLBean:
       https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/123930?page=organic-honeycomb-matelasse-coverlet-full/queen&bc=&feat=Matelass%C3%A9-SR0&csp=a&searchTerm=Matelass%C3%A9&pos=4

    3. Every time somebody asks this, I tell them about the one I have, which I love: https://www.potterybarn.com/products/belgian-flax-linen-diamond-quilt-white/?

       Still going strong after 7 summers!

       1. I had this as well and loved it, although I found mine started to look pretty worn after a couple years of regular use.

          1. We dry clean it every year — it’s never been in the washing machine. That may help it hold up.

       2. We have this one too but actually swap it out for something even lighter in summer. But it has held up great!

       3. I had the pick stitch version of this and found myself in the position of wanting it to die so I could justify a new bed covering. Despite being run through the washer and dryer about once a month it never did get to looking bad. I finally replaced it just because I wanted to and the Pottery Barn Pick Stitch Coverlet lives on in the top of my closet as the emergency replacement bed covering.

    4. Check out cotton quilts from Jaipur on Etsy. Many vendors ship internationallly, they’re inexpensive and beautiful and you can machine wash them.

19. Wondering if anyone sells random things on craiglist/ebay? I don’t have Facebook, but I understand this is an option too. I’m trying to decide whether it is worth the time/effort. Many of the things are fragile or bulky/unusual shapes and I don’t have packing materials, but could buy I guess.

    I am trying to empty an elderly relative’s home, who is now passed. There are quite a few small antiques / unusual decorative items. Not likely the highly valuable kind, but many are interesting and in very good condition. Not a lot of antique furniture, but some – mostly wood 100-150 years old. So I don’t think it is probably worth hiring some sort estate company to come in and organize a sale. But I think it probably isn’t right to be putting them in a box for Goodwill. I don’t think they are valuable enough to pay an appraiser. I wish there was one place I could go with ?pictures/boxes of stuff and see what they would offer, but if I don’t really know what they are worth…

    Any thoughts appreciated. I will probably give most of it away, I guess.

    1. I think this is exactly what you hire and estate sale company for. Local realtors can probably recommend the best company to use, but it takes so much of the hassle out of finding buyers, storing objects before they actually sell, listing the items, meeting buyers, etc. Many estate sale companies will take on lots of just a few pieces, and they deal with the “too good to donate, not worth a fortune” items.

    2. Hire an estate sale company. You’d be shocked at what they can sell. And it takes 100% of the hassle out of it, you can set it up so everything is cleared out at the end. It’s also typically commission based so you don’t need to pay them anything.

    3. It’s too much work if you are trying to actually make money. If you are okay basically giving things away, then it might work. People will flake, though, and will show up and say “actually can I have it for $20” or whatever, and it can be really frustrating and just mentally taxing to keep track of. It might actually be easier in the long run to go with some kind of estate company if they’re available in your area.

    4. Caring Transitions – a national estate sale company franchise, check for one in your area – has an online estate auctions where bidding starts at $1 on everything in the sale and some of it sells for a good amount and some doesn’t and you can then donate to Goodwill without worry.

    5. I’m more of a buyer than a seller. I appreciate accurate descriptions and many pictures.

       Don’t expect much from antiques & collectibles. I’ve bought some figurines – Lenox Garden Birds – that I know were expensive when new, but I can buy them for about $15 each on eBay because there are so many.

    6. Absolutely hire an estate sale company. You will likely end up with >$0 in your pocket and you won’t have done all the annoying work.

20. Since we seem to have some runners on the board this morning, a question for runners or anyone who exercises. I’m realizing that I’m not enjoying running as much anymore. And without a specific race to train for, I’m blowing off workouts a lot, which makes the ones I complete less enjoyable. I think it’s time to try something new. Any ideas? One of the things I really love about running is that it provides quiet time for thinking and processing when I need it. And when I don’t, it gets me out of my head and into my body. Group fitness is not my idea of a good time, for reference. It’s sensory overload, even if I enjoy the workout. (Writing this just might convince me to get back to running.)

    1. Hiking, walking, riding a bike all get me in the same space. It all depends on if I want to get my heart rate up or not. I don’t really race anymore – that stopped being fun for me, but just going for a run/ride is still fun and my “me” time.
       I still run, but I mix it up with other stuff and no pressure on any sort of training goal. I’m not doing “workouts”, I’m just going for a run.

    2. Walking (fast) and swimming are good alternatives to running. I find them to be more calming than running.

       Also try trail running if there are good trails near you.

    3. Walking. Provides the head space but is gentler than running. You can explore some different places, like some more wooded areas that you don’t want to run in because you’ll trip and fall, but are perfectly fine climbing over some tree roots and ducking under branches.

       1. Trail running is the most fun running :) I love running places where I have to climb over roots, rocks, and duck under trees. OP – this might help get you out of your funk. Trail running is harder than normal running (thanks to the hills), so I do a shorter trail run (or, sometimes a trail run/walk) but get in a great workout with less miles and less time.

          1. Second trail running, and swimming.
             And I hear you on no group fitness classes, but having a great running group has been incredibly helpful for me. Excellent accountability, company, and motivation.

          2. Can we be trail running friends? The rockier, rootier, more technical it is, the better. Add some steep climbs and I am a pig in $hit!

    4. I run, but I love cycling (outdoors, long rides on the tow path). I usually run during the week and bike on weekends (I don’t really have time to do 20 miles before it gets dark).

       If you like having the time to think, what about swimming? You are truly alone with your thoughts when swimming.

       I was a college rower, so if you don’t mind erging (the rowing machine), you can definitely get into your thoughts here too. If you’re interested, I can post a few basic workouts.

       My favorite workout has become lifting, but I like it because I don’t think about other things while I do it, I just think about my lift.

    5. Swimming or yoga do that for me.

    6. I like road cycling for this. I can zone out and pedal. Hiking is good too for the brain space, it’s just not as good of a workout unless you commit a lot of time.

    7. Get a Peloton! It is solitary and easy to use. I am also a runner but go through phases where I favor one or the other for my main cardio. Also if you’re open to non-cardio, consider pilates. I am an introvert and don’t like the group stuff either, so I do private sessions and it is the only time I’m able to completely get out of my own head because of the focus on your body that is required.

    8. I hit the same spot with running a few years ago, and tried walking, hiking, road cycling, etc to fill the mental health need, but none of them worked as well. The one sport that was a great substitute was golf. I really like walking 9 holes, preferably alone if I can find an early/late tee time. It gives me space to think, a chance to be outside, and a way to be competitive with myself and cheer incremental improvements the way running did.

    9. Swimming, yoga, and rock climbing do this for me.

    10. Hiking?

        I do that and F45.

21. Tucker Carlson out! Guess ratings only help so much when your lying ass costs your employer close to a billion $.

    1. The annual Fox Spring Sacrifice? Lou Dobbs, and now Tucker Carlson. Will it take three more years to get rid of Sean Hannity, Maria Bartiromo and Judge Jean Pirro? When is the Smartmatic trial?

    2. OMG this makes my day!!!

    3. Apparently Don Lemon is leaving CNN too!

       1. I just read (USA Today headline so…?) that he was fired. Did not cite why. I don’t follow newsreader/anchor shenanigans that closely so maybe there was some event that occurred that I’m unaware of.

          1. The NYT has a good explainer out now. I wasn’t aware but agree he should be out after reading that.

          2. I think he has made offensive comments about women and how they are past their prime. I’m not unhappy he’s out.

             1. He made the comment about Nikki Haley and while it would be inappropriate any time, it is so shockingly out of place when we are talking about a politician and specifically an early 50s woman running for president against an octogenarian and a hideous man in his late 70s whose “prime” lasted about a week in the 1980s and was mostly reported on by himself.

          3. Women over 40 have no comment at this time.

    4. Thoughts on where he will pop up next, what his narrative will be, what Fox’s narrative will be, what T’s narrative will be?

       1. OANN or Newsmax? I mean who else would have him?

       2. his narrative will obviously be that he was fired for exposing the truth, and that FN is part of the corrupt mainstream media. And he will have his own podcast.

          1. He’s in record saying he doesn’t believe any of it, though. Viewers would have to be idiots to believe that spin… oh wait.

       3. I’ve heard through the grapevine that Tucker is planning to run for office; that is wife hates the idea and his kids are talking about it with their friends.

    5. Couldn’t happen to a worse person.

       1. 🧹 🧹 🗑️

          1. he he he

    6. I think the termination has more to do with the allegations of harassment than the Dominion lawsuit. There are others who hurt them in the Dominion suit, with the overall policy of delivering the news the people.want to hear, truth be damned, being the real.problem and the individuals’ sloppiness in documenting it being secondary. They only held onto TC for this long in case they needed him to be loyal enough to perjure himself on the stand, right?

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