Corporette.com

Updated: Nov 9, 2018 217 Comments · by

Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Floral Shift Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I like Old Navy's ponte dresses — particularly for the price. I think that this plus-size ponte knit dress, which is on sale today for only $16.50, looks really cute. I'm not usually a floral girl — that's just not my thing — but I do like this one. It's got some stretch, it's machine washable (tumble dry low), and it has a keyhole cutout and button closure at the back of the neckline. It's available in sizes 1X–4X and regular sizes (both in a shift and a sheath in the latter), as well as a secret-slim ponte knit plus-size pencil skirt. Floral Shift Dress This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 10.10.24

  • Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
  • Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
  • Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
  • Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
  • White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. AIMS

    I love Old Navy dresses. I just picked up a different floral one (Mixed-Print Waist-Defined Shirt Dress for Women in navy) and love it. It works for casual days at work where I don’t have to dress up but want to feel “cute” and it’s an easy way to feel a bit more put together in my off hours without making much of an effort. It looks and feels very much like my Maeve dresses from Anthropologie but for a fraction of the price. Highly recommend.

    • pugsnbourbon

      I have two that I’m getting a ton of wear out of – a sleeveless gray sheath and a striped long-sleeve t-shirt dress. I bought both on clearance and I don’t think I paid more than $20 for either.

    • Violet

      Agree. And sometimes the material is linen and cotton/bonus. I always get compliments on their dresses.

    • Pompom

      Love these, too. Just added 3 to my cart for the whopping total price of 52$. I have a few dresses at home that these will replace.

      Thanks for the tip off, Kat!

    • anon

      I really love this dress, but I have a feeling it would be too short to wear to work and I wouldn’t wear it on the weekends. Is there anyone who is 5’4” who can comment on this?

      • HSAL

        I’m 5’3 and the petite (which I often buy) is way too short, but the regular version is fine.

      • purple

        I’m 5’4″ and always buy the tall sizes at ON because they tend to shrink (and I never put them in the dryer).

      • Pompom

        I have some of the other ponte dresses–not this one–including the sheath (a short sleeved version). I’m 5’7″ and the regular version is the perfect length on me. Hope this data point is mildly helpful.

      • Ellen

        I can tell you that if you are svelte, like me, having a shorter dress is much more likeley to get men to look then a longer dress, even if you have a tuchus like me. It is much better to be able to find a man who looks then one who does not, as I am sure that I will be able to find a guy by wearing shorter dresses. While it hasn’t worked so far, Grandma Leyeh is confident I will find a guy by following her advise. I hope she knows something that will work for me! YAY!!!

      • Anonymous

        I buy the tall version of dresses at old navy. I am five six but my long torso makes dresses too short.

    • NOLA

      The jersey swing dresses have become my go-to, especially in the long sleeve, where they look more sophisticated. I just bought the Waist-defined Smocked Yoke dress in the floral and I love it. It’s a little short, but I wore it with tights and a leather jacket.

    • Rainbow Hair

      I have this dress in a dark purple and wore it for family photos and looked adorable if I may say so. Going to wear it to work on more ‘fun’ days.

  2. Anon

    I’m not a nurse but I work what is essentially a nurses schedule: 3 13hr shifts a week (but with 24/7/365 coverage so could be nights/weekends/holidays, etc). I already know my scheduled shifts until the beginning of June. I’m actually finding that I’m getting bored on some of my days off and since I took a pay cut for this job, I’d love a little extra spending money as well so I’m thinking of getting a second job. Ideally only 1 shift a week or something. What kind of job would you recommend that fits into my schedule?

      • Anon

        I work in emergency management. A few of my coworkers do a few shifts a month as EMTs, which I’d be interested in down the road, but I’d need to get qualified.

    • Owl Lover

      You could do something fun like work at an antique mall or like a little specialty boutique. Think local or mom and pop shop, where they might only need coverage once a week. My best friend used to stock shelves for Old Navy in the wee hours of the morn and she loved it.

      If you wanted to be adventurous you could tend bar. Lots of bars need someone to pick up shifts, especially on weekend or for buy outs or other big events. Its tough work, but could be fun, and its flexible.

      If I were you i’d spend my spare time writing a novel or a blog or something.

      • OP

        I like the idea of a mom and pop store. We switch between night shift and day shift every two months so that’s why I was shying away from waitressing/bartending. Definitely want to spend time on hobbies as well but my main hobby is travel so this would be a way to fund that!

      • pugsnbourbon

        My aunt worked at a furniture store for a while. She has a background in design and she found she has a knack for sales, too.

      • IHHtown

        I second dog sitting. You can conform it to your schedule, it’s great for weekend and end of week work as well. And you don’t have to live in someone’s house. Dog sitting is often either a dog drop off to your home, or you go check on the dog, feed, walk, play with it three or four times 30 minutes each. Rates are often 50 to 75 a day – to play with a dog. It’s great especially with a few homes at once.

    • Non-mouse

      I just accepted a new job after a couple of years of under employment. For the last few months, I was also working part time (two six hour shiftsa week) as a barista in a local coffee shop. I loved it!

    • Original Moonstone

      When I had a similar schedule, I worked through a temp agency to work at business conferences. You’d staff the check-in table, sell books, etc. And you could accept only the assignments that worked with your schedule. It was mostly Fridays and Saturdays.

  3. heartbroken

    My 11 year relationship is ending, and I’m getting a divorce. Please send good vibes.

    • Anonymous

      I’m so sorry – be kind to yourself. You will get through this. One foot in front of the other.

    • Been There

      Oof. Huge hugs and good thoughts from this internet stranger. Mine ended last September (married 12 years), and it was hard, but I’m so glad it happened. I promise you’ll feel stronger on the other side. Take good care of yourself in the coming weeks.

    • Sharon

      Sorry for the loss of the relationship. Good vibes for as smooth a transition process as can be hoped for. Cup of Jo had a good piece on divorce advice from multiple women.

      • heartbroken

        Thank you all, honestly. I looked up Cup of Jo …

        “The hardest part was letting go of the future we had imagined. We had bought a home and planned to have kids. Ending that dream, and not knowing if I would ever find love again or have children, was in some ways harder than the breakup itself.”

        This exactly. This is terrifying.

    • Anon

      Hi heartbroken,
      I also divorced after 11 years. It was tough but I’m commenting to tell you I’m on the other side of it now, married to my second husband who was a complete surprise, and I’m so much happier now than I was in my first marriage. I think a lot of divorced people will tell you that. Hugs to you for the tough part. Please remember to focus on yourself and your needs first!

      • Senior Attorney

        All of this. Big hugs to you and remember– the only way out is through.

    • Myrna M

      Big hugs. I am so sorry. I’ve been through this and am so much happier now, after thinking I’d never be happy again. You will get through this.

    • Marie

      Just another internet stranger sending some support. Do something nice for yourself this weekend.

  4. Anonymous

    Where could I find interesting ties or tie bars for DH that are still silk and classy enough for court? He used to really like paisley and stripes, but after a decade of wearing them every day…

    • AIMS

      So many places! Brooks Brothers has “fun” options in addition to the classics. Hermes has great fun ties that still work in court, but, obviously, very pricey. JCrew sometimes has good ones that are a bit trendier/more youthful (think skinny ties, fun fabrics, etc.). If you happen to be in NY, the downtown Century 21 is a goldmine of nice tie options, often at a substantial discount.

    • pugsnbourbon

      Maybe a museum store? I know our art museum and the MOMA store always have ties.

  5. Cleaning Mode

    Winter always prompts a closet and cabinet clean outs for me – I hate the idea of being cooped up inside for months with unorganized stuff. I was putting together sell/Dress for Success/Donate piles last night, and one piece I left in the closet sparked a question:

    What’s the irrational “goal” dress or piece of clothing that doesn’t fit but you just can’t give up?

    I have a pretty black Elie Tahari dress in a size 12 I can’t bring myself to give away, even though I’m currently a 14/16. It’s a classic style and I would 100% wear it if it fit. I know I should give it up but I just like it, and so I let it take up space.

    • anon a mouse

      I’m the same way. I keep things that I like, following the Kondo premise that it sparks joy.

      For me, it’s a size 6 strapless kelly green dress. I bought when I was 5 pounds from my goal weight. (I never hit goal.) That was more than 10 years ago but I just can’t get rid of it. At this point it’s more likely to fit my kid someday than me.

      • Anon

        I literally have this situation. In my case it is a handmade (not by me) Easter type dress I took a photo in with my one year old daughter. It fit me like a glove when I was in beast workout mode trying to lose the baby weight.

        I purge relentlessly but could never get rid of this dress for some reason. Today, it fits my now-17 year old daughter. She would never wear it because it is knee length but maybe someday…

    • Anon

      Honestly, if it’s only one or two pieces and you love it, I’d just keep it. One dress doesn’t take up much space, and especially a dress that you love that is only one size away (so attainable in the short term versus going from a 16 to a 4), I’d keep it.

      Mine is a beautiful form fitting Calvin Klein perfect little black dress, not too tight, not loose, thick heavy fabric that doesn’t show bumps only curves, that’s a size 8…currently sitting at a size 12 so a girl can dream.

    • Anonymous

      A size 6 (I’m a 16) white flouncy skirt with turquoise appliqués and silver sequins. It speaks to me. Someday I will turn it into a LIT toddler dress.

    • AIMS

      A vintage Casadei disco party dress that I wore once to a Halloween party years ago but that is so gorgeous and straight out of Studio 54 that I will let it take up closet space until my daughter tells me that she doesn’t actually want it or I throw a fun New Year’s Eve party.

    • Violet

      Hopes and dreams? Nostalgia?

      I have a lovely Kenzo top that is too small. I keep it because it’s beautiful + nostalgia + hopes (of fitting into it again) + dreams (of passing it down to an as yet unconeived daughter).

    • Worry about yourself

      I have a few, but right now the dress that springs to mind is this gold fit n flare dress with a little pink detail and some sparkle, I bought it years ago, I’d been eyeing it and then it went on sale and I was so happy to have it! But I only wore it once, maybe twice, and now it’s too small – it’s a size 4, which used to be a bit too big, and now it’s too small because I hover around size 10 depending on the brand. It zips, but it’s a bit too tight and has me bulging at the armpits which isn’t very flattering. Sigh. I am getting into a new fitness routine (thank you, free month of Classpass!), and I know diet is a big part of weight loss so I am working on that as well, but I’ll be interested to see how this impacts my shape over the next year or so, if I can manage to stick with it.
      (and I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m really not looking for weight loss advice at this time)

      • Cleaning Mode

        No advice but I’m right there with you on the shape thing. I saw a friend a few days ago who I haven’t seen in person since I started working out religiously a year ago, and he couldn’t get over how slim/fit he thought I looked. I find that so interesting because my shape is much more toned and strength has hugely increased, but I am quite literally the same weight I was a year ago, and heavier than I was when we worked together and were very close several years ago.

        II think someone here once commented “diet dictates weight, exercise dictates shape”, which stuck with me, and I wholeheartedly believe to be true. Though I’d say I eat reasonably/vegetable heavy, and I don’t have an affinity for junk food or sweet things, if I wanted to lose weight I’d need to make dietary changes.

    • Anonymous

      I have a beautiful LK Bennett dress with lace overlay that’s juuuuust too tight in the hips to be totally comfortable and not bunch up when I walk, and there’s no way I can let it out :(

    • CPA Lady

      Not so much a “goal” as it is pure nostalgia, but the light yellow floral cotton hippie sundress I bought at a thrift store in high school. I was wearing it when I met my husband. I was 18 and a size 2 or so. I eventually put it up in a nostalgia box in my closet.

    • NOLA

      Conversely, even though I had gained weight, I kept a few things that I really loved, including great jeans in several sizes. 45 lbs down, I’m now shopping in my own closet. I made a stack of jeans in my spare room and went through them to figure out what fit every few weeks. I’m now in the smallest size of jeans, but I still have some other clothes that fit and it’s been fun rediscovering old favorites. I even had a leather jacket that I bought in an NAS, but then had gained weight by the time it got cold enough to wear it. I’ve been wearing it like crazy this fall!

  6. Identity Theft

    I have an Amex card and last night I got an email from them saying that an additional credit card had been authorized to my existing line. It listed the email address and the name of the person who had taken it out, both of which I didn’t recognize. I was on the phone with them within 15 minutes and had the whole thing shut down before any charges could be made. They transferred me to their fraud department and stated that there was nothing else I needed to do and that they would take over it from here. I’m wondering how they will pursue this. Will they press charges? Also, what can I do to protect myself in the future?

    • Anon

      Make sure they issue a new card to you and change your log-in password (and associated email if possible). Short of that, it’s really out of your hands.

    • Anonymous

      No, nothing else will happen. This happens all the time. Fact of living today nothing you can do or need to do, credit card companies shut it down for you. Just a PITA to reset your auto pays.

      • CountC

        Amex somehow does that for you. I didn’t have to do anything when I got my new card and all my payments went through fine!

    • Violet

      Not sure about next steps but in the vein of credit card (and banking) woes, there is a new (to me, apparently it’s been on for a few years) scam where numbers adjacent to the customer service lines are bought by the unscrupulous and when you miss dial, you reach one of their operators who proceeds to charm you into transferring money for cruises, trips and other amazing bonuses for being a wonderful customer. Winner beware.

    • Anonymous

      Chill. No, no one is investigating or pressing charges. Nothing bad happened. This is how fraud is handled. You didn’t lose any money.

      • Anon

        As someone stated below, depending on the state, this is a felony and it will at least be investigated. The same thing happened to me but with my corporate card and it was handed over to prosecutors where charges were pressed.

      • Anonymous

        Yes there will be an investigation. It’s identity theft, which is a crime.

        Sorry OP. There is some good advice on here. Even though it was caught, it’s still unnerving.

    • Anon

      I doubt they will pursue legal action. In my state, even without charges against the account, that’s identity theft at a felony level, and venue for that crime has several options, including the place of residence of the victim. If you live in a municipality you can report it to the police department, and if you live in a rural area, your sheriff’s department. If they are grossly overworked, don’t expect much from it since no one is out any money. On the other hand, I know of a small town investigator who took a very similar case, worked it to death, and the matter ended up with state and federal cases up and down the eastern seaboard. IMHO it’s worth reporting, but don’t have any particular expectations. As for the future, just watch your credit and debit charges carefully. Do it daily if possible. Identity theft is rampant. My husband has had his debit card compromised twice, probably by skimmers at gas stations. I have had a credit card and a debit card compromised. All of this occurred in the past few years. The debit card number, just the name and number not the card, likely was taken from a resort hotel in room safe and sold. My bank caught the fraudulent charges before I did and shut down the card, which I discovered when I went to pay for lunch one day! Banks and credit card companies are getting very good at detecting fraudulent charges.

    • Anon

      Do a credit freeze immediately (with the big credit bureaus). That will make it much harder for anyone to open any credit in your name. Clearly someone has enough of your personal info to open a CC, so you’ll need to shut that down. Having a credit freeze means you will have to jump through some hoops yourself to get new credit lines, but IMO it’s very much worth it.

    • Anon

      I was assaulted this year and it took prosecutors 6 months to even press charges on that case, which, you know, was an actual offense against the person. I’d love to live in a place where prosecutors have the time and resources to go after somebody who tried to use your credit card.

      • Anon

        I’m so sorry that happened to you. My credit card was stolen and the only charges that were placed on it were a night in a hotel and some restaurant meal. Prosecutors charged the person and the whole thing was resolved within a couple of months. This was in Illinois. I was actually surprised at this because I would have assumed they wouldn’t have the resources or this wouldn’t be a priority.

  7. Layout - Well this is different

    The boxes were a bit jarring at first but I like the easy division between comments. Would be a little less weird if they connected but otherwise love it.

  8. C2

    Oh, no, why with the boxes? I like the redesign over all but boxes around the comments is off-putting.

  9. Meow

    I just dropped my cat to the vet for a dental cleaning to be picked up in a couple hours. I miss him already and I’m worried (for no reason) about potential anesthesia complications. I know he’ll be okay. I think I feel this way because a friends cat died two days ago (old age) and my dad has had anesthesia complications in the past and needs to do a surgery soon; i’m transferring.

    • busybee

      I totally understand. I felt that way about my dog when he had his dental procedure too even though he was young and completely healthy. I agree with the recommendation to distract yourself. Also be prepared for you cat to be out of it for a while after. It was very stressful for me but he was totally fine.

    • Anonymous

      Has your cat had one of these before? As a heads up, he may be very lethargic and not really acting like himself for a day or two. My cat just wanted to hide in her carrier for a day or two (and she usually hates her carrier). She was completely fine after that. Anyway just a heads up that even if he seems a little out of it at first, he will probably be fine!

  10. Anonymous

    I’m traveling to New Orleans for work next month. Needs to be walkable to the french quarter. Which hotels do you love??? Thanks in advance for the recs!!!

    • Ms B

      Dauphine Orleans, in the French Quarter itself. Free breakfast and wifi, good location, quiet (especially in the “annex” rooms) and very soothing.

    • Anon

      I like the Sheraton – it’s pretty inexpensive, very walkable to the FQ, QUIET, etc. I never ate or drank there (too many good options) but it was a nice clean room. Close to Mother’s

    • Lilly

      What’s your budget? I second the Dauphin Orleans recommendation for something at a reasonable price. The Bieneville House is charming but reasonable also. If you feel spendy, the Soniat House is lovely. If you feel very spendy, Audubon Cottages. Many will recommend the Monteleone. It’s my experience that if you are in a base level room and they don’t know you as a regular customer, it’s not so great. Without a doubt the smallest hotel bathroom I’ve ever seen. Lots of street noise on the front of the building rooms even on a high floor. Also service there can be a bit surly at times.

    • Never too many shoes...

      Hotel Le Marais is in the FQ but just far enough from the action that it is very quiet. Lovely, modern boutique with extremely comfortable beds.

    • anon

      The JW Marriot was nice but I would not recommend staying on Canal St. unless you will always be with a group of people.

    • NOLA

      Le Pavillon or International House. International House is closer to the FQ, but both are an easy walk.

  11. Dulcinea

    Getting ready to buy a new extra large rolling suitcase for a trip that’s coming up. Any arguments in favor of soft sided vs hard sided? Also any recs for cheaper brands? I will only use it once a year at most, more likely every couple years so I don’t think investing I something super high quality is necessary. TIA!

    • Anonymous

      I’ve had good luck buying suitcases at TJMaxx/Marshalls. I think my current carry-on is a swissgear and it’s well constructed.

    • Ms B

      I prefer a wheeled duffel bag to a large suitcase. It’s so much lighter and easier to deal with if you are dealing with steps because you can snap a strap onto it and can be pushed into a smaller car, which is key if you are travelling someplace where vehicle space is more limited . . . but YMMV.

    • AIMS

      Soft is going to be lighter. Delsey is a good brand that you can often find at a discount at places like TJ Maxx. Travelpro is another reliable one that shouldn’t be too expensive. Unrelated, my one recommendation is to look for a slightly unusual color that’s still dark. It won’t show stains but it will be easier to spot and less likely to be confused for someone else’s bag. I have a dark green suitcase that I love to travel with for this reason.

      • Anonymous

        Not anymore, hard sided suitcases are much lighter than any soft suitcases these days. A nice polycarb suitcase is super light and super durable.

    • anon a mouse

      Travelpro soft-side. They go on sale frequently at Macy’s. I travel frequently and they’ve held up well; I often see flight attendants using them as well.

    • Never too many shoes...

      You can often get great suitcases at Costco on a super deal. I got my Hays there for way cheap (and I am now a devotee of hard-sided).

    • Anonymous

      I have a hard side Samsonite that I like.

      One word of caution, while the number of carry on options has increased recently, not so with larger sizes. There are a lot more matching bags at luggage claim. 3 people I know have had baggage mix ups in the last 2 years.

      • Anonymous

        I use a large, bright luggage tag or handle wrap tag to avoid this issue.

  12. Anonymous

    Me again. I’m just trying to get used to my d i v a cup. So some days, it works perfectly – no mess at all, no leaking. And then others it seems like I do exactly the same thing and I’m leaking. I can’t tell a difference, and I don’t know that I’ll be leaking until I get to work, so that could cause a problem.

    What am I doing wrong?

    • Diva

      I had the same problem when I was learning! For me, the issue was letting it sit too high. I felt like it would catch better if it was sitting high, but that’s how leaks happened. I learned to let it sit lower, with the stem partially exposed. Pretty sure I found this out online too! The leaks stopped then. Any discomfort can be fixed by correcting the angle.

      • Anon

        This, sit just a half inch lower. And when the stem became uncomfortable, I inverted the cup. It fits much better now. It collects a little less that when right side out so I do use it right side out during the two really heavy days. For that reason, I cut the stem off and filed the little nub. It’s still totally easy to take out and much more comfortable. Also, first few times, run your finger around the rim and make sure you didn’t catch your cervix. It’s likely not completely symmetrical.

    • Anonfor this

      It took me 3 or 4 months to get used to mine. I just used liners along with it until I get a better feel for how it needs to sit. For me, I realize now that the placement needs to change as the week progresses and I think that is why the first few months felt so hit or miss.

      My experience is the opposite of Diva’s, as I need to make sure it is as high as possible or it leaks. If I notice the stem, that means I need to go adjust.

    • anonshmanon

      If it makes you feel any better, I just read an article saying that doctors are now collecting more data on the vastly different shapes of birth canals. Apparently, they differ so dramatically that they are re-thinking their theory of how evolution must have shaped it. As so many medical topics around women’s bodies, this one has been overlooked in the past and is just now getting attention. So, what works for others doesn’t have to work for you, but you’ll figure it out!

    • Anonymous

      Fwiw, I tried to use a cup for six months. It was leaking every single day. I sanitized it, I cleared the little holes on the rim constantly, I trimmed the stem, and I tried all the ways to position it. It just never worked for me so I gave up. At that point, it was a relief.

    • Rainbow Hair

      Something I do is, once it’s inserted, I run my finger around the edge, like 1/2way between the stem and the lip, to kinda make sure it’s entirely popped out or unfolded or whatever. Makes it feel more secure.

      • Anonymous

        I have the issue where it doesn’t unfold all the way too. I’ve found that if I put the fold at a certain way when I insert I have a better chance of getting it to work. Also, I didn’t do the quarter turn in the beginning, and that seems to help.

        Leaking is mainly an issue during the heaviest flow, so I wear a panty liner with it.

    • Tips

      I love mine, and once I adjusted, I am so so glad to use versus t*mpons. It is healthier (fewer chemicals/no bleach), better for the environment, longer lasting even on heavy days, and helps you know more about your cycle and flow (different textures/colors can speak to health and balance).

      Yes, it’s personal to you and your shape, but here are a few tips, which should hopefully help regardless of shape/position:
      * Make sure to clean the holes at the top. To do this, fill with water, hold in the sink, place your hand on top, and squeeze the cup with your other hand. This creates a seal on top that pushes anything in the holes out. You may need to do a couple of times to confirm they’re clear.
      * After you put it in, take one finger and swipe along the outside around the perimeter (below the top seal). This will help round it out to make a seal. then, grab the bottom/stem and turn, without pushing in. If it’s sealed, you should be able to do a full turn. If it’s not, it will not move. This process can also help pop the seal in.
      * Didn’t see this mentioned yesterday, but to get out, try pinching the very bottom of the cup between two fingers. This breaks the seal by bringing the upper parts inwards, but it doesn’t push in too much to cause spillage. You can then just pull out, and the cup will be mostly upright if you angle right.

      Good luck!

    • I like my cup

      Hi! I hope that you’ll get this very late response.

      You are probably not doing anything wrong!

      There is just not one shape and kind of menstrual cup, and definitely not just one kind of vagina to put it in! Some cups are soft, some are firm, some have a pronounced “ring” at the top, some have not. Some are slim, some are stubby, big, small, – there are all sorts of different shapes and brands. And you may have a low or high cervix, a wider or narrower vaginal canal, high or low sensitivity to pressure on your bladder or rectum, etc etc etc. Don’t settle for one name brand just because that’s the only one you’ve tried.

      Personally I prefer menstrual cups from Lunette. These are silicone cups made in Finland. They are very soft, and they have a softer and narrower rim than another brand I’ve tried. I’ve not tried Diva cup, but I’ve tried Moon Cup ( a UK brand, I’m in Europe), and both sizes Moon Cup have to big and firm a rim for me. I’m never comfortable.

      The ones I do like are excellent. I use a bigger size cup for day 2 and 3 than other days, but they all mold to me. I do get pressure on my bladder, but less than with a firmer cup rim.

      I trim the stem from my cups. I don’t leave a stem at all. I don’t mind “digging” if I have to, but generally, I just need to pinch the cup to get it out (a good thing about pinching vs. dragging – you’ll break the vacuum sooner). But again, this has to do with you cervix and the shape and lenght of your vagina.

      A great tip for reducing spilling, is to make sure that there is a seal when you’ve inserted your cup. If you turn your cup half clockwise (or opposite) after insertion and tug a little, you have probably made a seal. Any blood in your vaginal canal between you cup and the opening will trickle down, but nothing a panty liner etc can’t handle, and nothing over the brim.

  13. Pushover? Or Kind?

    I’m curious as to how all you b@d@$$ but kind women would this situation:

    I have a friend from law school who just started her own firm which is a huge step for her. I have been supportive and incredibly excited for her and make it known in our conversations. I want to get her something for her new space (once I figure out the space she’s in maybe).

    What gives me pause is that when I got married last year, she couldn’t make it because of issues with her passport (idk if I fully believe her) and then kept asking me for my new address so she could get me a giftcard to a local spa to make up for it. At the time I told her I didnt want anything but she insisted and then never followed through. I even brought it up once I had moved to the new place, saying something like a massage would be great right now…she asked me for the information again and then never followed through.

    I live in a different state so we keep in touch via messaging. She did go MIA for a bit during our friendship but she was a new mama at the time so that could be why. We are both really supportive of one another and great friends other than that.

    So my question is…
    1) Would you feel like this is a big success for her so let the past issues go and surprise her with a gift

    or
    2) be supportive, be kind but if you send her a gift you’re a pushover and really dont need to spend anything on her.

    • Suburban

      As a rule, I try not to keep score with gifts. I give them out of affection or kindness ( or just because I want to)and I don’t expect reciprocal behavior. Seems like you’re going to feel crummy and used if you send a gift, so I’d forgo it. I don’t see starting a business as a particularly gift-triggering event in any case, so I can’t imagine she’ll feel badly if you skip it.

      • Rainbow Hair

        Yup. I don’t keep scores and if someone does I’ll disappoint them. I think that literally all gifts are optional, and I’m old enough that I can choose not to go to a gifty event (bridal shower for my parents’ friends’ kid or whatever) if I know gifts are expected and I’m not feeling it / can’t afford it. I’m generous, I think, and love to show my affection with thoughtful little things, but I can’t do love-math like that.

    • Petty AF

      I see your questions, but reading between the lines your real question is “Should I get her a gift for a big milestone or am I okay not doing so because she didn’t get me a wedding present, even though she didn’t attend the wedding?” It has nothing to do with you being a pushover and everything to do with being bitter about not getting a gift.
      1) Wedding gifts are often expected but absolutely optional, especially when this friend didn’t even attend the wedding (and you sound petty thinking she lied about passport issues)
      2) Her opening up her own firm is a great accomplishment that has nothing to do with your wedding or her going distant for a bit with a new kid (expected). It’s nice if you want to give her a gift, you don’t have to, but hanging that on her not getting you one is not related and not right.

      Honestly, maybe you should fade off, she needs better friends than you.

    • Anon in NYC

      I think the answer is to do whatever makes you feel good here. Just don’t promise a gift and then not send it. Personally, I would probably send a gift. My view is that friendships wax and wane, and that’s life, but if I want to keep someone in my life I try to “show up” for big life events and/or be supportive in other ways to the extent that I can. If you subsequently realize that this person is not as close of a friend as you thought, then don’t send a gift.

      • anonshmanon

        +1. FWIW, I would feel good about a conscious decision to let it go and not hold a grudge about it. Then send her a card.

    • AnonZ

      Sounds like she’s just flaky around gifts but an otherwise good friend. The good news is – I don’t think there’s a wrong answer here! No, you don’t NEED to spend anything on her, but being a kind and generous person without expectation of reciprocation is not the same as being a pushover. If you feel like getting her a large gift would be a genuine expression of your happiness for her, then do it! If you think you would give it to her with some amount of resentment about previous gift issues, then don’t.

      If your friend is like me, gifts are not a super important “love language” and I’m really bad about getting/sending them even when I have the best of intentions. The flip side of this is that while I always appreciate when people get me gifts, they do not carry the same weight in a relationship as I know they do to other people. If you get the vibe that gifts are more important to you than to her, maybe just write her out a heartfelt note about how proud you are of her or something like that.

      • Anonymous

        +1.

        But I also think it’s really pushy that you mentioned the gift again after it didn’t come through. Frankly, if I got hassled about a gift that I was giving someone, I would probably not give it either.

    • Anonymous

      Stop keeping score. Either you want to get her a gift because you want to help celebrate this milestone or not. That’s all that should go into whether you get her a gift here or not. Don’t give or withhold gifts as rewards for getting them or punishment for not getting them.

    • Saguaro

      I wouldn’t appreciate her flakiness with your wedding gift, and not to be keeping score on gifts – this is more that I like people to do what they say they will do. However, I would still send a card and some flowers to her new office to congratulate her.

      • Anonymous

        I mean, you can be disappointed without taking it as a personal affront. Friend said she would send a small gift and didn’t. That sucks, and it’s ok to have some feelings about it. But nothing here seems like friend is being intentionally mean. When you start thinking about – am I being a pushover here – what you’re asking is, what boundaries do I need to establish to protect myself. That’s out of step with friend’s actions (at least as reported here). You start putting up walls in response to benign actions – that’s how you isolate yourself and lose friends.

        It’s hard to learn the balance between having grace with others’ faults vs. not being taken advantage of. It’s really hard to recognize appropriate boundaries when you come from a bad home environment, or abusive romantic relationships, or lots of other types of trauma. I’ve personally dealt with this issue in therapy. I don’t want to read too much into OP’s comment and maybe I’m projecting but I can see where she’s coming from. I just think she didn’t find the right balance here – but hey she asked the question, that’s something.

        • OP

          Thank you for the kind response

          I do want to get her a gift because I am genuinely excited for her. I have had issues where I pour myself into people and get nothing back from (not in terms of gifts but time/effort/love etc) which is why I was concerned about this particular moment.

      • Anonymous

        I think this is why a lot of people on here seem to have friendship problems….

    • Anon

      Wow, honestly you sound petty AF.

      Don’t get her a gift. Honestly this woman is better off without you.

    • Anonymous

      If you want to get her something then get her something (small). I like giving gifts – I send a plant for their office when they get a new job; a bottle of champagne (or nice chocolates if they don’t drink) for big promotions; a card for other milestones or if I don’t know the person very well. I do this with both coworkers and friends. Unless there’s more to the story then I don’t understand why you think that would make you a pushover? Was she mean to you?

      The wedding gift thing is a red herring. She didn’t owe you a wedding gift. She said she wanted to get you something, probably intending to do so, but it fell through the cracks. Oh well, that’s life. I cringed when you said you followed up with her and basically asked her to give you a massage. I mean if someone said they’d give me a spa GC I would think that meant like $25 for a fancy manicure… it’s pretty presumptuous to think that she would give a high enough dollar amount to get a massage.

    • Myrna M

      I think if you can’t give a gift (or any expression of goodwill) with sincerity, you shouldn’t do it. It’s dishonest, and it’s not good for the recipient or for you.
      Agree (sorry) with the posters that say you’re being petty…I’m not sure why you’re friends with this person if you’re doubting her passport explanation – why not believe it? Plus, a wedding requiring a passport requires significant travel, so I’d think one would be more understanding of folks not being able to attend.
      Again – I just don’t think you should put effort into the friendship if you’re not completely sincere about it.

  14. CHL

    Random PSA (no affiliation) that I had a good experience with Modsy. We have a weirdly shaped finished basement and I tried it to get some different ideas that would make it seem more livable and intentional. It was quick and cheap and both of the designs make a lot of sense but I never would have thought of them. Not sure if we’ll buy their recommendations or look for similar stuff on our own but it was a good experience.

  15. Favorite bra for lounge and sleep?

    Wish list: large enough range of sizing to accommodate large cup (D) but small band (32); comfortable, supportive, no unibook, no highbeams; under $20

    • AIMS

      Ingrid & Isabel Seamless Ruched Maternity Sleep Bra at Nordstrom (and on sale in white for $10, about $18 for other colors). Technically this is a maternity bra but it isn’t really because nothing clips down. I really like it for sleeping/lounging. I have a large cup (DD) and a small band (32 or 34, depending on brand) and the medium fit well. To the extent it’s a bit “uniboob” everything comfortable like this will be and this one is less so than other similar styles (maybe b/c of the ruching?).

  16. Lemon Meringue

    Does Lands End ever go more than 50% off? I’m eyeing a new winter coat, and they’re 50% today, but wondering if I should hold out for a Black Friday sale. Thanks, hive!

    • anon a mouse

      They have a 14-day price adjustment policy, so if it goes on sale on Black Friday you could ask for a refund of the difference.

    • Anonymous

      Sometimes, but not until the item is on clearance usually. If you want something specific, that might be the best deal today.

      • Anonymous for this2

        +1. Check out their “On the Counter” section for crazy deals too. More than 50% off isn’t uncommon at LE but it’s lucky sizes and colors only by that point. And they have an open-ended return policy so in theory you could always get what you want, watch the sale, and then if it goes significantly lower than 50% buy it again and return the first option.

  17. Anonymous

    For those of you who depend on nannies for care and need late night coverage sometimes, do you use your same nanny or get a second person to do the late night shift? It’s not quite the same, but I have an aide providing 11-12 hours of coverage each day for a disabled family member, and she wants ALL THE HOURS, so wants to work 6-7 days each week and even the late nights and overnights when I have work events or work travel. I’m really worried about burning her out. I don’t want to offend her though either.

    How do you handle this?

    • Anonymous

      Trust her to be an adult. “Susan, thank you so much for your willingness to help John out. You’re a valuable member to us, so I am very serious when I say, LET ME KNOW when you need a break. Caregiving is hard work for anyone, so please let me know when you’d like a bit of a break. I’m happy to bring in someone to relieve you and it won’t affect your status as John’s primary caregiver – I mean it.”

          • Anonymous

            The agency that referred her to us does not employ the aides (they’re always contractors) and the agency has been around more than 50 years. I paid our last aide on the books so I’m in favor of doing this the right way but figured a 50-year-old agency would be doing this right. I know it isn’t always a bright line – where do I go to figure out if my trust in this agency/approach has been misplaced?

          • anon

            Your state Department of Labor website might have guidance on whether someone should be classified as an independent contractor or an employee. The IRS has its own guidance for federal standards. I agree with the above commenter–this person should probably be an employee subject to overtime.

          • anon

            Just because this agency has been around a long time doesn’t mean it is correctly classifying its workers. It’s probably pretty easy for them to exploit low-wage workers who may fear speaking up.

            If you consult counsel in your jurisdiction, please report back if this person is legally an indepent contractor and not an employee. I’d love to know where in the world the laws are so different from everywhere else on classification.

        • Anon

          That’s probably totally bending the rules of independent contractors, and also you should freaking pay somebody overtime! Don’t exploit her like that. It might be legal in a gray area kind of way, but I certainly don’t think it’s ethical.

          • Anonymous

            Uh, that was my original question. She is asking for what you consider to be exploitation, and I’m not comfortable with it. Shes paid above market for the hours she works. She makes more than many of the lawyers here! Trying to see what people have done.

        • ...

          independent contractors are not “employees” so they are not covered under the FLSA and do not get overtime.

        • Anon

          Just because you pay her with a 1099 does not make her an independent contractor. I strongly suggest you consult a local employment attorney to discuss whether you are classifying her correctly. The Department of Labor has issued a lot of opinions regarding home health care workers. Search the DOL fact sheets.

    • Anon

      That sounds like a household employee, not an independent contractor. In Illinois, we treat my grandma’s home aide like our nanny and use a nanny tax payroll company to pay on the books, including overtime (and a sick leave provision as required by law).

  18. Anonymous

    I’m going to be in a Dallas soon – any recs for food downtown (near the convention center)?

    • Dallas food recs

      I absolutely love both Americano and CBD (both in the Joule hotel) for dinner and also Commissary (lunch/pastries/delicious coffee). They’re all owned by the same people, but the food is different in each one and they’re all so good.

  19. Unrestrained....

    Ok, so the comment above really has me wondering about this clearly very important issue…do you wear a bra to sleep?

    • Anonymous

      Pre-kids, no. Now I’m nursing and wear a very soft, cami-like nursing bra. I was a D before kids, bigger now but not sure exact size since I only wear nursing bras.

    • Anonymous

      I would never wear a bra to sleep except by accident. Puts too much pressure on my breasts, and makes me feel too constricted for good sleep.

    • AIMS

      I never did until I had kids and was nursing. For a variety of reasons, for that time, esp. in the beginning, I found a stretchy sleep bra to be pretty essential. But I have to say in between, I kind of started to like the slight support you get from a stretchy bra, particularly for the “shoulder” hours of before and after bed if I am going to be lounging around, so I can see sometimes wearing one even once I’m done. But I think a lot of this is a matter of personal preference and what you like to wear to sleep. I like sleeping in the buff but sometimes I like to wear men’s style pajamas to bed. For some reason with those, I like the sleep bra. Other nightgowns already have some support “built in” so anything more would feel redundant. I don’t think I would ever a “real” bra to sleep (at least not on purpose), but to each her own.

    • Anon

      I think it depends on your size. I’m a B/C and honestly if I”m home I’m not wearing a bra and I certainly don’t wear them to sleep! I have several friends though who are several sizes larger and it’s uncomfortable for them to go bra-less at any time.

    • Anonymous

      I only wear a bra when I’m out in public. And sometimes not even then (eg: grocery run in winter when I’m wearing my parka and nobody can tell).

      • Anonymous

        I have kids and I’d say it only makes a difference based on size. Pre-kids I was a B. Now I’m barely an A. I wore sleep nursing bras for a bit after each kid, but ultimately am a no bra sleeper. And really no bras when I’m home generally at all.

    • Anonymous

      I wear a yoga bra when I’m sleeping in someone guest room. Otherwise, nope.

    • Anonymous

      32DD, I’m much more comfortable sleeping with support. The bra needs to really fit well to be comfortable
      though, so I usually wear an old real bra rather than some kind of loungewear bralette type thing.

    • anon

      I’m a DD+ depending on the brand and I don’t wear one to sleep. I do wear a tight ish tank top that kind of keeps everything from flopping around too much, though.

    • Anon

      Ha, I was just going to ask this too! I definitely don’t! I don’t wear anything to sleep. I’m a DDD.

    • Anon

      I thought wearing a bra to bed was possibly bad for your lymphatic drainage? 36E/38DDD and I do not. I would during nursing if I need to, but long-term, no way. I’m 50/50 on whether I wear a bra at home, but it’s certainly not uncomfortable to be braless.

  20. Anon

    Ladies with asthma- I am starting to wonder if I have mild asthma. I tend to get rattly in my lungs upon exertion – brought home by running for a tight connection through Denver airport last night and wheezing the rest of the flight home – and I also tend to get bronchitis when i have a cold. My doctor prescribes me regular albuterol type inhalers whenever this happens, and sometimes also the steroid type. And I just generally cough a lot, year round.

    I live in the Bay Area so this is further exacerbated right now by the smoke… I’m a coughing/slightly wheezing sleep deprived mess today.

    • Anonymous

      Definitely see someone about this. Sounds like asthma to me (I’ve had it my whole life). You should get evaluated to determine if carrying a rescue inhaler is enough or if you need a maintenance inhaler too.

    • Anon

      You should make an appointment with an allergy and asthma doctor for more precise care but and inhaler is used for asthmatic symptoms so if your doctor prescribed you one, then yes you probably are. An allergy and asthma doctor will be able to help you determine your triggers, how to control it, and will rule out other potential causes.

    • Anonymous

      I agree you should see a specialist. Don’t be too worried yet. It could be as simple as “here have some Montelukast,” and you’ll feel better. It could be more complicated, but it will be better to be on top of it whatever is going on.

    • Anonymous

      There are multiple types of asthma, including cold-induced, exercise-induced, etc. Not necessarily mutually exclusive… it sounds like you’ve had episodes of varying kinds and your doctor is treating, but agree with the rec to get evaluated by a specialist.

  21. Toasrer oven recommendations

    Does anyone have a convection oven that they love?

    I’m looking at the Breville Smart Oven Air, which on the one hand is expensive and seems like overkill, but on the other hand it has a ton of features and is very well reviewed. Does anyone have any experience with it or something similar?

    My husband and I are trying to cook more and we have our first baby on the way so anything that helps us cook quick, easy, healthy meals is a win. We also have a tiny kitchen so multifunctional appliances are great for us.

    Thanks!

    • Another anonymous judge

      I have a Breville Smart Oven Air. It is the one large enough for a 13×9 pan, but not the very top end model (mine doesn’t slow cook). I LOVE it. Not the greatest toaster, honestly, but it heats up quickly and gets multiple daily uses in our house. It really does bake like a real oven – extra space for Christmas, throw in a pizza or a few appetizers. I am on my second one. My first one died after 3 years’ heavy use and I didn’t hesitate to get another. I do have a fair amount of counter space but mine fits in a closed cabinet. Be warned, the top gets SUPER hot, so I recommend buying the matching bamboo cutting board for the top if you get it.

    • Anonymous

      I have this and really like it, but it does take up a ton of space. I waited to get one until I had a very large kitchen. In general I think a regular small toaster oven plus our full size oven was the way to go when we had limited kitchen space. The best thing about this toaster oven to me is that you can bake things in it without preheating the whole oven, so that saves time. The convection feature is also nice and speeds things up, but sometimes I end up overcooking things because I’m not very experienced with convection ovens.

    • SC

      I have the “junior”/previous version of this product–the Breville Smart Oven Convection Toaster. I LOVE it! We bought it 10 years ago and use it daily, sometimes twice a day. It’s easy and convenient and works great. We use it regularly to toast bread products, cook bacon, roast vegetables, bake potatoes/sweet potatoes, make 1-2 cookies from frozen dough, keep things warm, and reheat leftovers. I think we’ve used it more post-kid than pre-kid, maybe just because we eat at home more. If I were buying a new toaster/convection oven today, I wouldn’t hesitate to buy the one you linked to–but the one we have works just fine after 10 years.

      If space were limited, I’d take this toaster over every other appliance in my kitchen. Seriously.

    • Greensleeves

      We just got that oven a few months ago and we love it! We were looking at air fryers because my husband wanted one for making wings, and our toaster was also dying at the time. We stumbled onto it while looking around at Bed Bath & Beyond and bought it on a whim. We use it for toast, the air fryer function works great for wings and fries and such (including reheating leftover fried foods), and it’s great for baking something without heating the whole kitchen up with the big oven. I’ve also used it to proof bread dough, and the warming feature is great as we often eat dinner in two shifts. I host Thanksgiving and oven space is always at a premium, so I expect it will be very helpful then too. So, in my experience, it’s worth the money and the counter space!

    • Anonymous

      Buy the Breville! We use ours all of the time and love it! (small sides when we don’t want to heat the whole oven, frozen single pizza, toast, etc.) I’m sure there will be a Black Friday sale at Williams-Sonoma, etc.

    • Coach Laura

      I have a toaster/convection oven that I love – Cuisinart I think. It doesn’t have the air fryer but I use the bake, broil, toast, warm and convection settings all the time.

      Mine is big enough for a 10″ dinner plate or pie plate, so I can cook a Thanksgiving pie in it, or broil fish or cook a casserole. It’s like having another oven. And it does toast really well. :)

    • Toaster oven OP

      Thank you everybody for the toaster advice! I feel confident moving forward with the purchase – and I totally spaced on the fact that black Friday is looming! hopefully I can snag a deal somewhere! Thanks again!

    • Anonymous

      LOVE my Cuisinart convection toaster. Pretty much used that and the Instant Pot when LO was a toddler so I could avoid accidental encounters witha hot oven. Ended up using it much more than I though because of the sheer ease (set and wait for beep, but it turns itself off so you don’t have to rush to it); great results with convection (super even cooking), and easy cleanup. Mine can fit a 12” pizza, would suggest looking for a deep one (vs more rectangular classic toaster shapes). Costco has one on sale now I think.

  22. Horse Crazy

    Today, I am going to a resort/conference center in my city to discuss my organization holding our annual staff retreat there – I’m meeting with their conference organizer. I’d like to use them for a block of hotel rooms, a conference room for two days, a cocktail hour, and a breakfast. We are a small group (we will only need 10 hotel rooms), and we don’t have a ton of flexibility because we are government. Any advice? I have a nightly room rate that I’m supposed to shoot for (but can go slightly over), and their average nightly rate is about $40 higher than we can go. Do you think I can negotiate them down, since we will be using other services of theirs? I’m also looking for any general advice since I have never done this before. Thanks!

    • Anonymous

      In your post, you sound apologetic about what you need and might ask for. There’s no need! You can absolutely negotiate rooms rates. If I were a hotel, I’d of course be interested in an annual event for a government group — you’d be likely to book with us again. Or recommend other departments to us.

      Our small group has found that we get the best rates when we’re booking dates that aren’t in high demand — either time of year, or time of week.

    • Food

      They tend to mark up/require the food, even if it’s an amount that is likely not needed by your group, so consider negotiating that portion as much as you can.

    • Anon

      How are you finding the average nightly rate? In my experience, the rates that hotels post on their website are overpriced and I can almost always find it cheaper. I would frankly be surprised if they only came down by $40 on the rooms.

  23. Too good to leave, too bad to stay ... the job edition

    I’m the poster from earlier this week who asked about taking a pay cut from $80k to the low $50k range. I had the interview this morning that went really well. The president was super impressive and has a clear vision for what she’s trying to accomplish. She told me at the end of the interview that I’m in the final 3, and they want to schedule another interview for next week.

    I think I’m going to end up declining. :( I have a strong suspicion that the position is under-resourced for what the organization is trying to accomplish. I would also be a team of 1 that gets occasional input from a board’s marketing committee, which doesn’t thrill me. (There would be no buffer between me and a crappy board member, should that ever come up.) Between that and the huge pay cut I’d have to take, I don’t think the positives outweigh the drawbacks.

    Le sigh. Better to know and to move on, but I’m a little bummed.

    • Leah

      I’ve never regretted going with my gut. Don’t let your obsessive brain take over!

      • AnotherAnon

        +1000! Also hugs and sorry. It’s disappointing. But not as disappointing as taking a pay cut and being overextended would be! You will find something better.

  24. Anon

    I need ideas for a splurge-y for the home gift. Cookware, house things, luxurious bedding…something along those lines.  The catch is that it needs to be available on Amazon.

    • AIMS

      There was a thread about this yesterday afternoon. Splurgey is a relative concept. I vote for a cashmere throw. Amazon has some. You could also look throw the Oprah Favorite Things guide, which has a curated section on Amazon – lots of good ideas there.

  25. a throw that doesn't shed

    I want a good warm throw for my couch that doesn’t shed. What materials should I look for? I keep being seduced by beautiful ones in the store only to find that they shed all over my home.

    • In-House in Texas

      I was at an upscale hotel recently and the throw on the bed was so nice and soft, and large enough for DH and I to both snuggle up under. The brand is Darzzi and when I got home I bought 2 on ebay for under $25 each. They sell them on Wayfair but I got 2 on eBay. They don’t shed!

      • Anonymous

        sounds lovely! what material did you buy? I see a few options on line for Darzzi. Thanks!

Back to Top

About

Work with Corporette®

Serious Stuff

work fashion blog press mentions