ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 290 Comments

Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Floral Silk-Blend A-Line Dress

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

The weather has been a rainy, miserable mess in the Northeast this summer. On the plus side, my lawn has never looked better, but sadly, many of the light summer dresses that have been waiting in my closet since 2019 have not had a chance to come out.

This A-line, silk-blend dress from Dyvna would be a gorgeous piece to wear once we finally get some sunshine. For the office, I might add a navy blazer or cardigan, and for the weekend, I would just do some flat sandals and simple jewelry.

The dress is $372, marked down from $620 at Nordstrom. It comes in sizes XS–XL. There’s also a very pretty darker blue pattern available for full price.

Eliza J has a more affordable option for $148 at Nordstrom (lucky sizes only).

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 1/22/25:

  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off

Sales of note for 1/22/25:

  • Nordstrom – Cashmere on sale; AllSaints, Free People, Nike, Tory Burch, and Vince up to 60%; beauty deals up to 25% off
  • AllSaints – Clearance event, now up to 70% off (some of the best leather jackets!)
  • Ann Taylor – All sale dresses $40 (ends 1/23)
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything
  • Boden – Clearance, up to 60% off!
  • DeMellier – Final reductions now on, free shipping and returns — includes select options like Montreal, Vancouver, and Venice
  • Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; extra 50% off all clearance, plus ELOQUII X kate spade new york collab just dropped
  • Everlane – Sale of the year, up to 70% off; new markdowns just added
  • J.Crew – Up to 40% off select styles; up to 50% off cashmere
  • J.Crew Factory – End of season sale, extra 60-70% off clearance, online only
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Semi-Annual Red Door Sale – extra 50% off

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

290 Comments

    2. Bummed to see that. I’m sure it’s serious for her to make that call.

      However. Many of us aren’t watching live and waiting to catch up in the evening. It would be nice if anyone posting about live coverage did “spoiler – gymnastics” and then replied to their own comment, enabling people who don’t want to see updates to collapse the thread.

      1. Ok, but it’s front page news. It would be hard to make it to dinner without hearing this.

        1. I’m currently in the middle of a national park in Maine and people around us are talking about it. I don’t think you can really spoil breaking news like this.

          1. The only s-tes I browse during the day when I don’t want breaking news are literally here and TripAdvisor forums for a vacation I’m planning… WFH so no chance of overhearing anything.

      2. It’s all over NPR/TV and newspapers this morning. I think that the cats are out of the bag.

      5. It’s front page news that’s happening real time during waking hours in our time zone. If it’s that important to you, don’t use the internet today? I’ve had push notifications detailing what’s happening. You literally can’t avoid this news if you’re on your computer today.

      7. The Olympics literally have big events like the swimming scheduled to work for US time zones. People are awake and they’re gonna watch it.

    3. And the coverage is ridiculous. “We don’t know why” “we don’t speculate” “they did a great job”

      It’s literally your job to report. Figure it out. It was a historically terrible day.

      1. Or respect that she may have a right to privacy and doesn’t want to share reasons?

          2. I don’t think it’s really about entertainment. I mostly feel bad for her teammates. I don’t think Simone or anyone else owes *me* a gold medal, but if she’d left before the competition began they could have subbed in someone else and had a better chance of gold. Yeah, it wouldn’t have been the sure thing it was with Simone, but they would have had a fighting chance. It also put an insane amount of pressure on the remaining three teammates because they force all the other women to compete in every single event (normally they have four gymnasts and only three compete each event). If Simone wants to drop out of the individual events, I don’t care at all. But I think she really let the team down dropping out of the team final in this way.

          4. This is ridiculous, Anonymous@12:17. Between winning 5 medals in Rio 2016, she got 100k. That’s for actually winning. Whether her corporate sponsors would have rather given the piles of money to another athlete, is between them and her, but you don’t need to act like it’s coming out of your pocket.

        2. A right to privacy about her performance (or failure to perform) in an internationally-televised, worldwide sporting event that she voluntarily participated in?

          1. As a spectator, I don’t even remotely feel entitled to information like this. I don’t understand this mentality. She is a human being. Sure, an incredibly talented and hard working human who happens to work on a public stage at times, but if she has personal reasons for withdrawing, why is that my business? She doesn’t owe me anything. She needs to take care of herself. Nationalistic pride doesn’t trump that. I DGAF how many gold medals the US wins. I care about how we treat people and we are often terrible at that.

          5. Thank you, anon at 11:45. It’s none of my business, and frankly it doesn’t deserve any more attention than “good for her, she’s doing what she needs to do, I wish her luck.” I mean, it’s kind of gross to think that the US gymnastics team reflects on *me* in any way – it’s their accomplishments, not mine.

        3. athletes are commodotized. For better or worse (see, e.g., NCAA rules change), athletes who choose to taken on endorsements for loads of money do so (and rightly so, if they choose – more power to them) and they are selling their fame. So, she does this public thing in a public forum and gets paid $$$$ in endorsement deals for being the person who does this public thing in a public form. Pulling out publicly in the middle of this public thing in a public forum is not a private act.

    4. Yeah, I go back and forth on Olympics spoilers. I gave in and got up at 3:45 this morning to watch because I knew it would be impossible to avoid and I wanted to watch it unspoiled. I do wish news orgs wouldn’t include results in headlines so that you didn’t have to be on total news blackout to avoid results. But it is possible to watch everything live now, so at this point I think it might just be a lost cause…

      1. But it is the news — it is literally what they do: find the news, share the news, shout the headlines.

        1. It’s news, buts it’s also sports that you often can’t watch live. NBC is finally getting their act together which is why it bothers me less now, but in years past, you literally couldn’t watch a lot of events until hours later, so spoilers were a lot more annoying.

        1. I actually sometimes prefer clickbait so I can avoid reading things I find extremely upsetting. Like “Church Falls police investigate child abuse case” is something I know not to click. “Church Falls police find emaciated child covered in his own feces” will keep me awake at night. The gory details don’t need to be in the headline.

          Likewise, for spoilers it could say something like “major news from the US gymnastics team” and then you click to see what actually occurred or avoid if you don’t want spoilers.

          1. That’s the only time clickbait is okay with me. I hate most other types, including all the COVID clickbait in my area (“another county sees rising cases” or “this town had high vaccination rates. Then Delta hit.”) It’s cruel and irresponsible journalism.

      2. How does a field or sport advance without littering the path of exploration at the highest levels with broken people? That’s the question we need to answer.
        I have no idea what that answer is, but gymnastics, and even sports isn’t the only field where this is a problem.
        How do you push the envelope without breaking/killing people?

      1. I know I’m supposed to be supportive of her for taking care of herself, but honestly given that she’s not hurt I don’t understand this decision. There are other women who could have competed in her spot if she had made this decision before hand. Instead from what she’s said, she had a bad vault and just decided to withdraw.

        I’m a huge Simone fan normally but I feel like this is a side effect of her never having to learn to lose (because she’s that good.)

        1. That was the point – in the team gymnastics final only 3 get to compete on each piece of equipment, and she wasn’t confident she could perform to her best, so allowed the other members of the team to compete.

          1. I think that’s pretty disingenuous – Simone Biles on a bad day is better than virtually anyone else on a good day. She can step aside if she wants to, but lets not pretend she was doing the team a favor.

          2. @ Anon at 11.09 – that’s fair – I’m just repeating what the Guardian said she said in the press conference. It seemed she genuinely thought she would fall badly and injure herself.

          3. I know that’s what’s she said, but it doesn’t add up given that the US likely could have still won gold without Simone if they’d been able to bring in another person so they could select 3 out of 4 based on event (instead of everyone having to do all 4 events.) The US has so much talent it’s just really a shame that it happened this way.

            It really seems like she wasn’t performing as well as she is used to and so she didn’t want to keep going. Kind of a bummer choice for her teammates, especially the ones who would have loved a chance to be in the team competition.

        2. Yeah, apparently she’s really been struggling mentally since Trials so I wish she’d stepped aside then. They likely would have chosen a different team if they knew they didn’t have her. I’m also a bit uncomfortable that she’s coming back for the individual events but chose not to finish the team event after one bad vault. Feels like very deliberately letting her team down to preserve her chances of a bunch of individual golds. If your mental health is that f-ed up, withdraw from the Olympics completely. Don’t let your team down and then come back to compete for yourself.

          2. Agree completely. She shouldn’t be allowed to compete in the individuals. So disappointed in her.

          3. She probably had a panic attack or something during the vault. I have had anxiety attacks and I totally see how that would mean that you couldn’t (it would be dangerous) compete that day, but barring any further attacks, no reason you couldn’t compete 2 days later.

            I do see the argument that she should be either in-or-out to be fair to her teammates, not constantly waffling.

      2. So so odd. And bizarre to think she’s entitled to pull out and not give an explanation. Mental toughness is and always has been a major element of the sport.

        1. Yeah, I’d like to see an explanation for this. Maybe it’s a strategic decision to preserve her mental health for the individual event (??), but that’s extremely unfair to her team.

        2. Everyone is entitled to care for their own mental health. You do not own a share in this woman.

          1. I feel bad for her teammates. She doesn’t owe ME, a spectator, anything – but a good teammate owes her team something.

          2. Actually, we do. She’s chosen to have a very public career, and to participate in a team sport representing the US. She doesn’t get to quit because she’s not feeling it with no explanation.

          3. Please read literally any article on how Olympic athletes make a living before you post nonsense like this again. Simone is doing fine because she is at the top of her class AND big enough on social media to make it worth for big sponsors to giver her $$$. The government doesn’t. The taxpayer doesn’t. Stipends for Olympic athletes are puny and there aren’t many and they don’t come out of public funding. Sponsorship deals are only relevant for the big names. According to Wikipedia, 613 people compete for Team USA at this year’s Olympics. A lot of them have minimum wage jobs because after-hours cleaning might be the only thing that is compatible with a training schedule. They make this personal tradeoff, and delay any professional career for the chance to compete. The public does not help them in a significant way.
            You do not have a share in Simone Biles’ success.

        3. Having done the east-coast USA to Japan trip a few times in my life, I’m amazed anyone from the western hemisphere can compete at their best right now. I know my performance was crap when I had to do it (musical performance at the time). Ten days to 2 weeks post trip was always the absolute worst for me in terms of being mixed up, exhausted and out of sorts. I’m sure their trainers are doing the best they can for this team, but they are still being asked to perform when their bodies are telling them it’s zero-dark-thirty and that will mess a person up in ways you can’t always anticipate.

        4. This is only athletics. It’s not important (and the fact that the US thinks it’s so important is why states like Alabama elect football coaches). The world is no better or worse off if she competes. Screw “mental toughness” – Ms. Biles is entitled to do whatever she chooses to do with her talent.

    7. The pressure on these athletes, especially these young female gymnasts is insane. This is so very typically American but all of the news coverage around this has hailed her as the GOAT, unstoppable, Americans will run away with this, etc. And she is great. But also human. I go into the Olympics every time thinking it will be fun to watch, but then I’m reminded of how much pressure is put on these athletes and that nothing but gold is good enough, and I feel awful.

      I hope she’s ok and can compete in the all around at least. Suni Lee was fantastic too!

      1. I hope Simone doesn’t come back for individual all-around. If her mental health issues are that bad, she shouldn’t compete and should let her teammates who had to settle for team silver contend for individual gold medals. I want Suni to get gold in the individual all-around. And Jade to get gold on vault and/or floor. Then at least those two can claim the title of Olympic champion.

          1. Oh that’s true, if Simone doesn’t compete vault MyKayla will get to! I forgot about that.

          3. No, an “event” in gymnastics is the entire thing, qualifications and finals both, so MyKayla gets to stay in Japan until the finals are over. She would also be a reserve athlete in case anyone gets sick or injured so could stay on that basis (like the other alternates who never even competed). She will definitely be in vault finals if Simone doesn’t compete.

      2. If your mental health is so bad you can’t compete for the team, then certainly you don’t need to be competing for a bunch of individual golds either. Even if she wins a couple, hope she doesn’t get the press she otherwise would have as being america’s favorite – let someone who deserves that press have it.

    8. Poor Simone?? She withdrew because she wasn’t in the “right headspace” to compete? Uh you realize that’s your only job right? Between her and the track woman who smoked pot before qualifying knowing it was disqualifying and Naomi who hasn’t competed in how many tennis tournaments now because of “mental health” these people don’t seem like they want to win. Which is fine, move on with your life then and someone else will take your spot.

      1. Yeah that “right headspace”excuse is really something. The entire point of elite athletics is competing and doing your best despite whatever is going in your head. If you waited until the perfect moment to perform your routines, you wouldn’t be an elite athlete. I used to figure skate and am just cracking up thinking about what my coaches would have done if I’d said I couldn’t compete because I “wasn’t in the right headspace.” And I didn’t have a team counting on me and was far below the Olympic level.

        1. Gymnastics is dangerous in a way that many of the other summer sports aren’t. If she’s distracted (by, say, an anxiety attack or another mental health issue), she could wind up paralyzed. It’s better for *everyone* involved that she made a mature decision… and a silver medal is still super impressive!

        2. She was blacking out (from a panic attack) during the vault. That is incredibly dangerous, in a way that it isn’t for other sports. A Formula 1 driver, for example, who was having that type of panic attack shouldn’t play either. I can see a runner or swimmer or soccer player playing through it, but its much more risky in gymnastics.

        3. The entire point of elite athletics is … pointless. It doesn’t benefit the world in any way to have one more tumbling routine. I don’t get why so many people are so invested in SB as if they have a say in what she should or shouldn’t do.

          1. Right? After today, I kinda hope she handsprings off into retirement waving an outstretched middle finger at the part of the internet who thinks they know better than her and her coaches what she needs. I hope none of you smack-talkers find yourselves having to hold it together on worldwide broadcast tv. She doesn’t owe y’all a damn thing.

        1. Right? “They” = black people who are required to entertain me, apparently

          And we think we’ve made so much progress.

      4. Um, did you seriously just name three women of color and then refer to “these people”? Normally the racism here is a lot more subtle.

    9. I love Simone but don’t understand this decision. I guess now we’ll truly find out how deep our team is — or not. Had Simone not been in the competition, the makeup of this team would’ve looked different. I honestly don’t know what to think about it. Barring injury, withdrawing is really something. I feel bad that she has the weight of the world on her shoulders.

    10. I despise >50% of the comments in the thread.

      Mental health is health.

      If Simone came down with the flu and didn’t feel physically capable of competing, you would not be eviscerating her for stepping back.

      Please extend her the same grace to make her own decisions about whether she’s mentally healthy enough to compete.

      1. Yes but then she should withdraw completely and not be allowed to compete for individual gold. It is like she is preserving herself for the individual rounds. Her teammates on the other hand will have the stress of both. She is such a letdown this time around – only thinking about herself.

      2. She pulled out of a team event in the middle but still might do her individuals. Show me any gymnast who has done that for physical health reasons

        1. +1. It’s letting her team down. I support her mental health and think we don’t place enough importance on it, but I don’t think it’s nbd or a non-issue what she’s doing to her team. The gracious thing to do would be to bow out completely.

        2. +1. I suffer from anxiety and anxiety-related insomnia, so I fully believe that mental health is health and deserves support and attention, but I also don’t think you pull out of a team event because of a health issue and then go on to do the individual event two days later. I can’t imagine doing this to teammates.

      3. Mental health is health, but at the Olympic level most people push through minor injuries and illnesses. Remember Kerri Strugg vaulting with the injured ankle? And it’s not uncommon in pre-Covid times for athletes to compete with the flu either. I mean, yeah, no one is going to be out there tumbling with a torn Achilles tendon but not all injuries and illnesses are the same.

        I also think the circumstances matter a lot. If you have the flu, you don’t vault once, perform badly and then walk off the floor telling people you have the flu. I think she would be getting way less heat if she’d withdrawn before competition, enabling them to name her replacement. Sure, the US might still have had to settle for silver, but it would have taken pressure off the other three to have a replacement for Simone out there with them. The way it went down makes it seem like she had one vault that was below her standards and then she noped out of there and I don’t think that’s cool.

        2. Literally the Russian men’s team just won with a member with an unhealed torn Achilles. Because you don’t bail on your team at the Olympics.

          1. “you don’t bail on your team at the Olympics” wow y’all are acting like it was you spending 30 hours a week in a gym for 20 years after going through foster care, while also trying to make a living and like she owes you something for that personal sacrifice.

          3. Let’s not forget Curt Schilling leading the Sox to a win in the ALCS on a bleeding ankle.

          1. Yes. Who looks at Kerri Strug’s vault and says “you go girl”????? My reaction was “ugh, how awful to put her in physical danger for something as inconsequential as an athletic competition.”

        4. Imagine looking at someone as accomplished as Simone Biles and thinking “this woman must not know how to push through minor injuries and illnesses.”

          2. I mean…she doesn’t though. Or at least she didn’t on this occasion. And it’s hard to have sympathy about the pressure she’s under when she very much fueled the hype machine around herself with the goats on the leo and what not. You can’t really have it both ways.

          3. Anon @ 1:22 – or how about we should assume that she does know how (and has) to push through a lot and give her the benefit of the doubt that this is truly something she cannot. Why can’t we say, hmmmm, she’s managed to push through this far and become the GOAT, let’s trust her judgment when she says that this time it’s too much.

      4. But her mental health will magically be fixed enough for her to compete in the individual all around? Come on! This was crappy on her part. Withdraw before the team competition so they can replace you or withdraw from the whole competition going forward. Don’t hurt your team by pulling out in the middle but then come back for all-around.

        1. It’s called picking you battles, and we recommend it all the time to each other.

      5. Agree completely. FWIW, I could barely watch my daughter on the balance beam as a tiny kid who was only mildly interested in gymnastics. I’m not a super-anxious parent but I was worried she was going to break her neck.

        It’s surprising but I wish her all the best and every happiness.

    11. Let’s remember this poor woman was abused by her coaches and abused by the team doctor and still went on to the be the GOAT of her sport. I’m not surprised she’s having mental health issues at all. I’m surprised it took so long. She doesn’t ow the USA another medal. We owe her.

      Please don’t support anything but showing her some love and wishing her the best. Some of you should flat out be ashamed of yourselves.

      1. Not at all ashamed. It’s an elite sports competition, and we don’t support losers who let their teams down be because their head isn’t in a good space. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Instead, she chose to focus on HER individual gold medals. Bad sportsmanship.

      3. I didn’t hear anyone say she owed them a medal. It was more about her letting her team down.

        2. That’s between her and her teammates to work that out, right? She didn’t hurt *me* or some nebulous thing called American pride / spirit.

      4. Agree completely. The majority of sentiments on this thread are abhorrent. All of this vitriol over a sporting event? Y’all ain’t right.

        1. Where are you seeing vitriol? I’m not. I’m seeing criticism of the decision and comments about how it’s letting the team down or unusual for an Olympic-caliber athlete. That’s not senseless attacking.

          1. Have her teammates released a statement admonishing her for taking care of herself? Please stop hiding behind them to be racist and misogynist on the internet.

          2. Thank you, Anon @4:04. Y’all mad because this black woman had the audacity to demonstrate some radical self care.

      5. That’s between her and her team, though, not a bunch of armchair gymnasts who are lucky to do a round-off without straining something.

      7. Seriously. It’s not all that surprising that, given the pressure she’s under, the isolation these gymnasts have been in due to Covid, and her return to an environment/process where she was sexually abused, she’s having mental health issues, and that she hasn’t worked through as much as she thought. I don’t expect her to reveal personal health information, but if she did, I would not be at all surprised if she were suffering from PTSD triggered by the Olympic process. And I don’t know how you know ahead of time whether you’re going to be able to overcome that, but she won and deserved her chance to try. I’m disappointed as a spectator, and sad for her, but she didn’t owe me or US gymnastics or the US anything.

    12. Gym mom here. There is speculation from at least one junior elite (not my kid, ha!) who was watching the live stream that Simone got a case of the “twisties”–she lost her air awareness, or her sense of where she was while in flight. This can be caused by fatigue and would explain what happened with her vault. If that’s what was really going on, she could have seriously injured herself and absolutely did the right thing by withdrawing. She is fortunate to be in a position where she feels she has the freedom to make that choice.

      1. Thank you so, so much for this comment! Her vaults are so complex and gorgeous, and she’s the one who knows if she should be up there or not.

      2. 100% She needs to take care of her physical self. Can you imagine if she had a terrible injury in the next event? Simone looks like a leader for saying, I need to step down. Her teammates won the silver medal! Thats incredible.

    13. Simone is a human. Not a strategy. Blame USAG if you don’t think they sent/chose the strongest group. The US lost by 3 points. There is no combo of USAG that would have beat that this year. Have you seen MyKayla’s beam and bar routine?? They would have lost by even more.
      She doesn’t owe any of us anything. People on this board everyday come ask for advice on how to stand up to the mean mom down the street at their kid’s elementary school, but suddenly have all the answers for how Simone is supposed to handle her mental health. You do realize that if she suddenly has a panic/anxiety attack in the middle of an event, she can seriously and permanently injure and/or paralyze herself right?? Get over yourself.

  2. Seeking recommendations for a desk that is functional (sturdy; large enough to fit an external monitor, laptop stand, external keyboard and mouse) but attractive enough to blend into my living room. I’d describe my decor style as modern.

    I’ve been looking at the Crate & Barrel Pilsen Desk (https://www.crateandbarrel.com/pilsen-salt-desk/s632329) and the West Elm Parsons Desk (https://www.westelm.com/products/parsons-desk-with-drawers-white-h116/), but would love to hear other recommendations! I’m especially interested in desks with a glass top, which should take up less visual space, although it’s not a must-have.

    1. I like both of these options, but the Parsons desk edges out for me. Two things to consider:
      1) glass top means you may need a mouse pad if you have one of those optical mice. Lesson learned by DH from WFH on the glass dining table, early in the pandemic.
      2) I used to have a glass top desk that was similar in style to the Crate and Barrel one you link. I had it for the same reason: visual lightness! In a weird twist, it had an opposite effect for me in our small office/guest room/den 2nd bedroom. The *desk* was visually minimal…and all the crap on it (however organized and attractive it may have been) was emphasized visually. Like, there was just the appearance of a bunch of ugly computer components floating in an otherwise nice room. You may consider a simple clean-lined non-invisible desk to anchor the work stuff a bit so that it doesn’t get promoted to the visual priority and it disappears a bit. Obviously YMMV!

      1. +1
        If you are near NYC or SF, I see a lot of used Room and Board desks with glass tops on Aptdeco.

  3. I’ve not been good about wearing sunglasses but probably should start being better about that now that I’m regularly driving into the sun both ways (ah, summer where it’s light out later, right in my eyes). Any good places to order from online? (Bonus if there is such a thing as a reading glasses / sun glasses hybrid — I need a +2, but that might be annoying for driving so I am thinking I need to different pairs).

    And also: polarized? I’m not even sure what this means (I wear reading glasses for reading and computer work but am not used to wearing them outside, but now it seems that I am still dining outside and need to be able to read the menu and the check).

    I swear I’m not weird, but I always thought that the sun bothered my eyes less than other people’s (my family’s light-eyed people are sun glasses regulars; my eyes are very dark brown and I have gotten by with $10 ones from the drug store, but they aren’t every good when driving into the sun and break all the time).

    1. Polarized for sure, it reduces glare that strains your eyes. I’d recommend Maui Jim as the absolute best polarized lenses you can buy (without going into the stratosphere); they’re not owned by Luxxotica and do a great pair of sunglasses. You can get them at costco in select styles for $99. If that’s too much, I’ve also had good luck with Suncloud, which is the discounted polarized brand for Smith sunglasses. Those are about $30 or so on Amazon, going up to $50. I’ve also bought $20 polarized ones from Target, but the Suncloud are much better made in my opinion. Lastly, an indie is Randolph sunglasses, (not so much an indie since they’re iconic and historic, but they don’t get as much love as the major players), but that price has shot up in recent years and I think they’re now over $200.

      1. Second Maui Jim. you say you want to order online, but I’ve never had as good of luck online. Face shapes and eye spacing are different for everyone.

      2. Polarized is great and I also recommend it but please just know that certain screens will be distorted. I don’t have any issue with my car displays, thankfully, but there are certain screens I just can’t see anything on.

    2. Goodr has some fun, reasonably inexpensive ones. I get them for $25 at the running store near my house. For me, sunglasses always seem to break or disappear so I hesitate to buy more expensive ones. You can get polarized ones too — they make driving during sunny times so much easier, highly recommend.

      3. Just ordered Goodr’s and I can’t wait for them t get here. I ordered from REI so I will get the 10% back

      4. I so wish they did prescription glasses. I can’t find a decent affordable pair that will stay on my face and be strong enough to withstand some abuse.

    3. I got some Sojos brand sunglasses on Amazon for like $13 that are polarized and are REALLY nice! Highly recommend.

    4. I almost always buy my sunglasses from TK/J Maxx. Good brands at much cheaper prices – I have a pair of aviators from Polaroid that I bought at TK Maxx years ago and still love.

    6. you definitely want polarized – I didn’t realize how big of a difference polarized glasses made until I tried my husbands expensive pair one day and was like WHOA. I never understood how he could see so easily into a lake and see fish – polarized sunglasses super help.

      I usually buy a pair of $150 pair of sunglasses then were them constantly for 2+ years, but I just got my first pair of Goodrs yesterday based on recs here. It’s a fun pair (white with rose colored lens) so not exactly easy for me to compare, but they’re comfortable. It’s an easy step up for you to go to a pair of Goodrs from the $10 pair.

  4. Morning, all! Any suggestions for custom curtains and shades? We need both in our master bedroom. I’ve used The Shade Store and Smith and Noble before but don’t want to spend that much. I do like Spiffy Spools. Any other recs appreciated!

    1. Call around to local shops – upholsterers and independent home decor fabric shops often do them or will tell you who can – but custom window treatments are just always eye-wateringly expensive. Do you have a Calico Corners near you? Their workshops are top notch.

      If you just need a simple roman shade, I used a shop on Etsy a decade ago – I provided the fabric and measurements and they turned out wonderful. I think it was a 6+ week lead time and maybe $150 per window? (But again, a decade ago)

    2. The post office offers coupon packets for new residents, and mine included several window treatment businesses. Might be worth stopping by to ask.

    3. Thank you both! I will look out for Calico Corners and a postal packet. We do have a local store but I’m hesitant to have them come out and then get into a discussion about cost. They are definitely expensive!

  5. I’m staying in Chelsea and want to book a pedicure. I know there are a million places for this kind of thing, but I’m specifically looking for somewhere that doesn’t use jetted tubs and is fanatical about cleaning. (Bad experience once with a nasty infection.) Any recommendations?

      1. It’s a lot easier for nasties to grow inside the jet mechanism – not like you can reach in there and scrub them, and it stays damp and growth-friendly pretty much all the time.

        Places that just have bowls that they pour water into, and then physically clean/dry out between customers, are less likely to harbor bacteria.

  6. Wedding guest outfit advice: what do I wear to an upscale, conservative synagogue in the Northeast in September? No dress code on the invite. Do I need long sleeves and long dress or is knee length and covered shoulders enough? Anything else I should know as a (non Jewish) guest? I’m going with a date but was told men and women will be sitting separately and don’t know anyone else.

    1. It’s very considerate of you to think about your attire this way. No dress code on the invitation is a sign (to me) that you can wear more or less what you want. It also suggests to me that the ceremony is separate seating and the reception is mixed seating. If both are separate, it’s a sign people will be more conservatively attired.

      Short but not capped sleeves, a skirt to the knees, and a neckline with no cleavage sounds like it would be fine.

      If you want to play it absolutely safe, sleeves long enough to cover your elbows, a dress/skirt long enough to cover your knees when you sit, and a neckline that covers your collarbones. The skirt/dress does not need to be floor length (although you can do that if you want).

      You do not need to cover your hair; many married Jewish women cover some or all of their hair so you will probably see other women with their hair covered.

      My usual approach to these things is to get something in a really nice but simple fabric/cut. Another approach is layers – put a wrap over a long enough but sleeveless dress and you’re all set.

      If anyone gives you grief about your attire (unlikely) feel free to point out (in the words of my spouse’s grandmother) that they “shouldn’t be looking!”

    2. if men and women women will be sitting separately, it is like what is called an ‘orthodox’ synagogue. i know you were using the word ‘conservative’ to refer to the fact that you have to dress more modestly, but ‘conservative’ is a different denomination of Judaism. i went with my then boyfriend, now husband to an orthodox wedding where seating was separate for the ceremony, but together for the reception. though the reception had some separate dancing. does your date know anyone else attending the wedding? even within orthodox judaism there is a large spectrum as to how modestly people dress. one of the more orthodox weddings i attended, i only needed covered shoulders for the ceremony, another i needed them the whole time, though short sleeves and the dress an inch above my knee was fine. in most cases, i would say short sleeves and knee length is fine. while orthodox weddings tend to involve more modest dress, they also tend to involve dress that is less fancy

      1. Sorry, I realize the conservative description might not have been accurate. We are sitting together at the reception, it’s just the ceremony where men and women are separate. He knows the groom and a few of his friends, but in typical male fashion told me to wear whatever I want as long as it isn’t too revealing , which isn’t particularly helpful.

        1. no worries. if that is what they said, i would say cover your shoulders and not super low cut or short. orthodox women sometimes even just wear long sleeve shirts under dresses (it looks hideous in my opinion). what time of day is the wedding?

          1. I think it’s very much about norms. The long sleeve shell under a dress (that is not otherwise intended to be worn as such) looks odd to me in everyday settings, but there are plenty of Orthodox Jewish settings (weddings, Brooklyn, weddings in Brooklyn…) where it’s so common I feel odd not having done so myself.

          2. 4:30 pm for welcome drinks, ceremony at 5pm (on a Monday! I hadn’t realized Jewish weddings don’t happen on Saturday although it makes sense now. I will be leaving work early)

      2. I think “less fancy” also varies by where you are in the orthodox spectrum. Spouse/I are on the left edge of it but his extended family is on the very right and their weddings are extremely fancy.

    3. If you are shopping for something to wear and want to share your budget / wedding formality level, I am deeply procrastinating and would be delighted to shop vicariously.

      1. I’m thinking around $200 (with some flexibility for something I like and would wear again), c***tail level of formality and not too revealing as per the above. Would love any suggestions!

          2. i think this is too formal for a monday wedding. the orthodox who want the really fancy weddings, usually do a Sunday night of a 3 day weekend at a fancy venue (i’ve been to at the Plaza, Pierre, etc.)

        2. Thank you for helping me avoid work!

          Here are some things that would be appropriate (IMHO):

          You could probably wear it to work later. Was this dress featured on Corporette already?

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/dress-the-population-ruth-asymmetrical-neck-midi-dress/5654151?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=312

          On the bubble of your date’s “not too revealing” guideline:

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/tadashi-shoji-tie-sleeve-lace-cocktail-dress/6116436?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=664

          A similar option to the above, but longer. However, sleeveless so you might want a wrap or nice sweater:

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/chelsea28-mix-lace-sheath-dress/5833538?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=680

          A plus size option (not sure what size you are)

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/kiyonna-luna-lace-a-line-dress-plus-size/5646666?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=003

        3. the backs of some of these might be pushing it depending on the crowd
          https://www.macys.com/shop/product/js-collections-metallic-lace-sheath-dress?ID=12420202&CategoryID=5449

          https://www.macys.com/shop/product/js-collections-soutache-trim-sheath-dress?ID=10505126&CategoryID=5449

          https://www.macys.com/shop/product/adrianna-papell-tie-front-dress?ID=11932733&CategoryID=5449

          https://www.macys.com/shop/product/js-collections-embroidered-sheath-dress?ID=12310347&CategoryID=5449

          https://www.macys.com/shop/product/alex-evenings-embellished-gathered-cap-sleeve-sheath-dress?ID=12414980&CategoryID=5449

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/js-collections-floral-soutache-lace-sheath-dress/5963756?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FWedding%20Guest&color=451

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/pisarro-nights-beaded-cocktail-midi-dress/5871266?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FWedding%20Guest&color=420

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/js-collections-illusion-lace-short-sleeve-cocktail-dress/5868069?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FWedding%20Guest&color=463

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/connected-apparel-faux-wrap-bell-sleeve-jersey-cocktail-dress/6057762?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=001

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/rachel-parcell-lace-sheath-dress/5960394?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=660

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/adrianna-papell-crepe-fit-flare-dress/5895075?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=412

          https://www.nordstrom.com/s/js-collections-leaf-embroidered-sheath-cocktail-dress/5892643?origin=category-personalizedsort&breadcrumb=Home%2FWomen%2FClothing%2FDresses%2FCocktail%20%26%20Party&color=400

    4. A conservative, modest day dress is absolutely fine. You don’t need long sleeves or a skirt to the floor. Your date may be offered a kippah / yarmulke and it would be polite for him to wear it, but you have no other obligation.

  7. Despite being an accomplished professional in my late 30s, I feel like I never quite figured out how to organize my time/priorities/to do lists. My work is a combination of things with short due dates, responding to in-the-moment things, and working on things with due dates far in advance or with no specific due date but just needs to get done. I’ve improved a lot in delegating over the last couple of years but I still constantly feel behind and frazzled. What works for you?

    1. Color coding my work calendar. Building in personal deadlines – also color coded – for the biggest assignments. Now I can see it all in a quick glance!

    2. Same, same. Nearly nothing gets missed, but I feel like I need to be better organized. Most things being virtual/online vs having paper records/projects doesn’t help. I don’t want to rely on Outlook but I need more than a scribble list.

    3. You may be interested in something like Getting Things Done (GTD) by David Allen. The book itself is a lot of context and details about “why” but the actual “how” is comprehensive, but pretty simple to implement. I also find it pretty scalable … there are certain “rules” that I follow religiously, but there are a lot of parts that I don’t use, unless I’m incredibly busy, and then I add them back in to my routine.

    4. Would it work for you to have blocks of time where you focus on each bucket of things? Maybe you don’t need to work on the long term stuff every day, but you do need a couple blocks of time per week to focus on it. For example your Monday could be the following, while Tuesday could look completely different depending on what you got done the day before and what due dates are coming up:
      9-9:15 plan for the day
      9:15-9:30 in the moment
      9:30-10:30 short due date
      10:30-11 in the moment
      11-12:30 short due date
      12:30-1:15 lunch
      1:15-2 in the moment
      2-4 long term project
      4-4:15 in the moment
      4:15-5 short due date

    5. A bullet journal but just the basics. There is no art in mine and I am not consistent about the pen I use. I want to get work done, not make a Pinterest worthy journal.

      Every day, headed is today’s date. Today’s appointments. Today’s to-do list, which includes carryovers from yesterday’s list. A jot-down of hours started and hours finished on each project (I’m a consultant, may not apply to you .) Notes from meetings I think I will need to refer back to. It is so helpful to have everything in one place.

      I start every day doing this and it really helps me get my game face on for the day.

      You can watch the intro to bullet journal to see the format.

      1. How do you keep track of your longer term to-dos? Like the stuff that you obviously aren’t going to be able to do today/tomorrow?

        1. There are yearly goals and monthly goals. I work on projects so every day I go through my projects and think, what are my to-dos on each project today? Realizing I can only do so much each day.

          It has always been my practice to break big goals and projects into smaller daily tasks because if I don’t do this, they seem too big, too insurmountable, and I just procrastinate.

          For less tangible things like “network to find a new job” I set goals for myself like “reach out to at minimum of one person a week” – this has nothing to do with bullet journaling. I just know if I tell myself something vague like “use your network to look for job opportunities” I don’t have anything concrete to work on. But if I have a goal of one contact a week, I force myself to write that email or text and get it done and off my list. (And this specific tip about networking has been really successful for me)

        2. I break them down into smaller items with internal deadlines, and then include a few little chunks in my daily to-do list. Seeing the smaller items also helps the bigger project stay current in my brain, if that makes sense.

          1. Basically what Anon at 1:10 does, but she explained it a lot better than I did :)

    6. Try Deep Work/Deep Questions with Cal Newport. Both a book and a podcast. Really helped me to put a system in place.

    7. Mine is admittedly still a work in progress, but I recently migrated from a paper list to a Word file, there were just too many things getting carried forward and I want to be able to update in real time and still see long/medium/short term items. I am a lawyer in a practice that has tons of smaller clients. I keep a list in outline form with action items under each client. I color code highlight everything based on timing, so blue items are for today, next couple of days is yellow, etc. I miss the catharsis of putting pen to paper but this is just way more efficient for me.

  8. Another random perimenopause question. I used to be curvy, shaped with a small waist and a big butt and thighs. I routinely gotten darts so that I didn’t have my pants and skirts gape open at the waist. I am now slowly becoming my husband: tummy is now > butt (I may be +5 pounds and out of shape due to the pandemic, but this seems weird to me, by my body’s historic norms; I’m not pregnant and don’t have fibroids). The curviness is all shifting to the front and up. How is this happening?! And is this what people mean when they recommend weight training as you get older (not sure how that would help — maybe I won’t break a hip when I’m 80). And OMG if this is what happens to me, the Kardashians are in for a rude awakening in a few decades.

    If this is just a menopause thing, so be it.

    1. This is like a daily complaint now so either this is happening often or you’re very upset about it! Bodies change as you age. Unless you grew balls you aren’t becoming your husband and that’s a super toxic way to describe this.

          1. I honestly thought about wearing my husband (36″ waist) polos when I was pregnant because they were designed for the shape I was becoming. To a point, they would have worked. I bought a lot of XL men’s items which were fine then, but much too massive (the length to get around the belly made them too long when post-partum). Including a biking jersey, of all things. He inherited some of the stuff from me. Often, men’s casual clothes were just a lot cheaper than a maternity version of a women’s item and often were in wicking fabrics (hence the bike jersey, which had handy pockets on the back).

            Maybe I should tell him to keep it for when menopause hits and I shape-shift again.

      2. Eh, there is a whole board for people who are pregnant (9 months) and with mostly young kids. I’m game for the >35s among us getting a daily question about a much longer (?) season in our lives (which seems mandatory, unlike pregnancy and young-child-rearing). I know I will be kicking and screaming.

        1. These threads are SO RARE that I can count them on my fingers, and I read here every day. I wish they were more often and in a few years, you will so grateful that you read them so that you are blindsided like many of us are.

          What a peach you are.

        3. In my late 30s and I agree. I don’t want a rude awakening during menopause. I want to know what to expect and what drugs will decrease the discomfort. If we don’t tell each other what to expect, no one will. Women’s health (except for breast cancer) is routine ignored, dismissed, or met with a “shrug, that’s homrones?!” I want more info.

        4. Hey now, some of us are >35, dealing with young kids AND also dealing with age-related body and hormonal changes!
          Jokes aside, I found the science in Dr Stacy Sims’ ‘ROAR’ a good starting-point for understanding how women’s hormones shift with aging, even if I am not part of her target audience of high-level athletes.

        5. Yes please! Let’s normalize discussing women’s bodies at all stages. Why should menopause issues be some secret until it hits you?! I didn’t even know perimenopause was a thing until recently. Most of us will not look like Jennifer Lopez as we age and it is okay for us to discuss that.

          1. I guess that is true — young women paid to look good, look good. IDK why JLo at the Super Bowl should surprise me as not typical results for 50 (or whatever it is), but the 99%ile of giftedness in the shape / genes department is hella not illustrative for the rest of us (at any age).

            OTOH, whatever JLo is doing . . . I’d like to know. More weights? Different foods? It is working. If it is constant training (more than in her 20s), I’d still like to know as a way to write off conclusively that it’s not for me.

          2. Celebrities are terrible guideposts. 1) They generally became celebrities in the first place because they are genetically slim and conventionally beautiful. 2) Yes, they train constantly. They have dedicated trainers and it’s part of their job. 3) Even the “natural”-looking ones have work done. When someone doesn’t, it stands out radically, and that’s how you know the norm. 4) They studiously restrict calories. Some are better than others at hiding it. But this too is part of the job.

      3. Yeah, OP, you’ve posted about this a ton. If it bothers you this much, maybe talk to a therapist? Intrusive thoughts can be so exhausting to experience and you deserve to see that it can get better.

        1. How on earth do you know that this person is the same as the others? Heavens this board is cranky this morning.

          1. It’s a frequent trend on this page that I always find baffling. Multiple people encounter the same issues and may want to discuss it. It’s not always one anxious person writing the same comment over and over.

            Just last night I was wondering why my stomach pooch is so high. Maybe that’s just what happens!

          2. I will say that sometimes it’s really obvious it’s the same person writing over and over again because of the writing style. But in this case, I think lots of people are wanting to discuss these issues (not surprisingly, because it affects all women eventually).

          3. Like there are two posts about DESKS this morning. And we have been discussing desks since lockdown. Some things are evergreen I guess.

        2. There’s an entire separate board for baby sh*t, but of course a board of advanced professional women can only have one person in peri at once. Super logical.

        3. I don’t think it’s weird for women to want to talk about aging and menopause with other women.

          1. Of course not! It’s great. But if it’s becoming intrusive or obsessive for one poster with a very distinct writing style, I personally think it’s much more kind to point out that other help might be beneficial.

          3. I can see how the negative self-talk might hit a nerve (and I agree, it’s not great to do that), but I also don’t think it’s obsessive or intrusive to think about this stuff. We are our bodies and need to dress them every day.

      5. I love seeing questions about perimenopause and menopause, personally, but I agree that it kind of stinks to hear my current body shape described as “looking like my husband” so it’d be great if people could remember that while they’re dissing themselves, they’re also dissing strangers who share their body type who maybe don’t hate the way they look as much as you do.

    2. I think it’s pretty standard, yes. This has been my mom’s transition in her 50s-60s, and since we have a similar body type I assume the same thing will happen to me.

      The Kardashians do so much to intervene with their bodies, they are pretty irrelevant as a reference point except for others who do lots of surgery etc.

    3. Yes, my body shape is similar to yours, and has also changed in perimenopause.

      I have been extremely fortunate that weight gain hasn’t been a big part of my 20’s and 30’s, despite not having the best eating/exercise habits. Also I haven’t had kids. Now that I’m in perimenopause, it is like my lower pear body has exploded and I have a prominent soft belly. So I can’t get away with my bad habits anymore.

      In addition to my mood swings with perimenopause, I have had a crazy change in my eating habits and have started ?small binges of junk/less healthy food and night-time eating, which I just didn’t do in the past. These new “habits” are just terrible and are obviously making everything worse. I was curious if that was more of my problem than the hormonal changes with regard to my weight/body shape changes. Obviously, it is all cumulative.

        1. Hemoglobin A1c is a blood test that reflects your blood sugar levels over 3 months, where 6.5%=diabetes.

          1. Yeah. It’s not a super sensitive test, but if it’s creeping up over time, that can definitely explain a shift in weight to the middle (from the elevated insulin levels that usually accompany elevated blood glucose). This is true long before hitting that diabetic threshold, and shifts in reproductive hormones can be to blame.

    5. As I age I find I have less leeway in everything. My body tolerates fewer treats and snacks, less slacking off workouts, less missed sleep. I need to keep increasing diligence year over year. Lower tummy fat pops up after even a week of vacation eating. Wine with a holiday meal will jack up my complexion for three weeks. Et cetera.

    6. Yep, menopause makes you barrel-shaped. Watch some old movies, like from the 1940s or so, and you’ll see that most women of a certain age are shaped like stout barrels. Even nowadays, look at any woman around or over about 50 who isn’t paid to stay in shape, and you’ll see they are thicker in the middle.

      Estrogen causes you to deposit fat in your hips, thighs, and the backs of your arms. As estrogen drops, testosterone gets relatively higher, and that makes the fat go to your belly. So, there’s not a whole lot you can do about where the fat accumulates – you can work to keep the fat from accumulating, but yeah, that is MUCH more difficult than it was when you were younger.

      Signed, did research on androgens in grad school and picked up a little knowledge about estrogens along the way.

      1. When I took home ec in middle school in 1977, the teacher had been a home ex teacher since the 1940s if you can imagine that. She described the sewing pattern size ranges as:

        Juniors – very slim, small high bust, narrow hips

        Misses – an adult woman with proportional bust and hips, small waist

        Womens – an older woman who is no longer having children, a lower bust closer to the elbow, a larger waist compared to misses, hips less pronounced. Women’s was not necessarily a plus sized range.

        And there were also half sizes for what we would call plus sizes today.

        So none of this is new.

        1. This is fascinating. I have always wondered where the “Misses” terminology came from!

    8. One of my kids had a weekend-long puberty retreat (that was excellent — it also dealt with a lot of “you make your choices and consent is always key” things, too) at church. And got a book that was truly excellent (there was a parent book, too). And had lots of caring adults, nurses, and pediatricians participating as adult leaders. It was all “this will happen, this is normal, this will be over at some point and we’ve all gone through it.” I’d love an adult version that added “and then it happens again when you’ve gotten used to that very new and different body that you morphed into years ago.” [At least for women — IDK if there is a male version or just having to realize that the ED commercials are now about you.]

    9. Due to sarcopenia we all gradually lose muscle with age – that is why weight training is important. If you stay the same weight as you age it’s most likely because muscle is replaced with fat. It’s rough.

      1. My husband jokes I am waging war on sarcopenia; I a working hard to make sure the muscle dominates.

    10. This change in shape is due to declining estrogen levels. I would talk to your doctor, some women use hormone replacements, and in my experience, cutting back on carbs, and grains in particular seems to help. Weight training is essential as we get older, no doubt about that.

    11. I mean the weight shift from the ass to the tummy is normal. Even the real housewives with all of their money for plastic surgery tend to get little tummies as they grow older. So some of the shift is inevitable.

      What to do to keep it minimal I can’t tell you because I’m just living with it.

      1. My biggest complaint is that there are no pants that fit. Bigger size needed for the barrel in the front, but too big in the hips and hanging off my non-existent butt. And I hike lots on hills, do squats, etc. but that a** is gone, alas.

  9. Hi all – I have to unexpectedly move earlier than planned this Thursday from Fredericksburg, VA to Arlington, VA. It’s a smaller move (no furniture – several large plastic totes, some packed luggages, a few boxes). I was looking at Lugg but the reviews are mixed and I don’t have room for error (i.e., apparently Lugg has no way to get a status on when movers show up, no number to call). Are there any local movers anyone would recommend for a short-notice, smaller move?

    Thank you!!!

    1. I used the Moving Help feature of uhaul.com with good results in a similar situation a couple years ago.

    3. JK moving. They might be booked but we’ve used them several times and they are the best.

  10. I got offered a ticket to a bucket list concert in October at the Mohegan Sun in CT. It would be a solo trip, maybe at most a pre-concert dinner with the friend of a friend with the extra ticket. I’ll be on a deadline for my novel, and honestly spending a few days alone in a nice hotel sounds like a great time to get work done. But I’ve never been before and I’m not a casino person. Thoughts?

    Covid since I know it will come up: I’m vaxxed, happy to mask, and will cancel if things are looking dicey.

    1. I have never been but casinos often have nice spas and good food. Eating and relaxing sounds fun to me.

  11. This is a basic fashion question but I’ve no one else to ask. Last week I bought dress pants from Talbots. I see their blazers are on sale now, but would it look weird to buy a blazer in a different fabric and wear them together? My pants are polyester; the blazer I’m looking at is described as crepe, which I think is also polyester. The blazers are final sale so I can’t return.

    1. Are they the same color? Are they very different textures, somewhat similar textures, or basically the same texture?

      Different colors, you’re fine. If same color, I would only pair if they are very different textures so it looks deliberate. Maaaybe if you can’t tell the difference in texture.

    2. Only if the blazer is obviously not intended to “match” like a full suit. Black pants with tweed blazer? Great. Black pants with black different-fabric blazer? No.

      1. This. Dress code for me pre-pandemic was more than business causal but not full-on suits. I assume it will be the same when everyone is back this fall — we will see. I often wear a blazer but it’s a different color. For example: black pants, black/white/cream top, tweed/knit/woven blazer in a range of colors. I like to mix and match.

    3. I wouldn’t risk it for final sale. Could you bring the dress pants to a Talbots store and compare the fabric types next to each other? That’s a hassle too, I know.

      1. Call them— they will be able to tell you if the items are from the same grouping.

  12. Question for glasses-wearers.

    Do any of you buy glasses from your optometrist/opthamologist’s office? What are the reasons to do so, given the price?

    1. I always buy from them. Couple of reasons: Insurance covers part of it. I have complicated, very thick lenses and appreciate the guidance. They carry brands I want. I trust them to measure me properly versus an online site.

      1. Same. I wear contacts most of the time so I only get glasses every few years. They also help me adjust the frames a bit so they fit me well.

      3. All this, plus I use my pretax health spending account money for it so that helps.

    2. I buy my frames online on ebay (I know what size I need, like 55-17-140 so I search by those across brands I like); usually the frames are $40 or so. But sometimes I get a Chanel pair, or something fun. Then I bring the frames to my local office and they put my Rx in. You can also go to Lens Factory which is based in KY and they will give you the basic pricing as well (it’s the same versus my local office, so I use my local office). I pay about $220 per set of lenses given my prescription (which is pretty high). So all in, about $260 for a pair of glasses (or more if I splurge on a $150 pair of Chanel frames on Ebay). I don’t trust places like Zenni Optical and my RX is so high, I need to ensure it’s right vs trying something like Warby Parker.

      1. Actually I went to go price it out at Warby Parker, and it was coming up $175 with high index lenses and blue light filtering. That’s assuming they’d take my perscription. So all in, it seems it’s all around the same ballpark.

      2. I’ve just been buying warby parker frames or zenni/eye buy direct because I only wear my glasses for a couple of hours or so before bedtime, but I think for my next pair I will try this!

    3. I do sometimes because they have a nicer selection of frames. I have some cheap pairs from Zenni as well.

    4. I did it because I want to make sure the frames fit me well. If anyone has tips for measuring for online frames, though, I’d like to try that too.

      1. Do they have optometrists as well? I no longer have vision coverage so Costco is my next move. I’m not currently a member.

        1. Most have optometrist and you don’t need to be a member to see them (or to use the pharmacy)

        2. Yes, most of the stores that have eyewear have an in house optometrist that charges very reasonable prices.

    6. I go back and forth about this every time, but ultimately want to be able to buy them in person and return them if I have problems. I have high index lenses, astigmatism, and a binocular vision disorder, plus I’m fussy about how the frames fit, so it’s hard to get them right. I usually have to go back for adjustments.

    7. I always buy from the doctor because online stores are fashion victims. They carry what Vogue tells them to, rather than a variety of options to suit multiple profiles. My square face and prominent jawline need slim, thin, rounded-off elongated frames (which are never in style). If I could wear hipster glasses, I’d shop at Warby Parker.

        1. Honestly, no, I can’t, because I can’t find them online. That’s why I buy them from my optometrist.

          1. I mean, I found my Rx frames on eBay. I wanted a backup for the first pair I bought from my optometrist in case they discontinued the style. I’m wearing lenses from my optometrist in my eBay-purchased Rx frames right now. I just googled the number on the arm of the frame and they came right up.

    8. I go to EyeBuyDirect because the glasses people at my ophtho are not nice and I don’t want the sales pressures at an Americas Best type. I figured out my own pupillary distance and they have a nice try on feature, lots of sales/coupons. Fairly simple script but my mom has progressives and she likes hers too.

    9. Yes because I wear progressives and they mark my focal point on clear lenses in my chosen frames with where my progressives need to shift from distance to close. I have had this done wrong before and it’s miserable so I keep going back to the one place that gets it right.

    10. Nope, I don’t. I’ve been getting glasses from Warby Parker since…2010? Their styles read as a lot more current to me, and my prescription isn’t complex.

    11. I buy them from Eyes on Fremont in Seattle, even though I no longer live in Seattle, because I find the coolest glasses there. I’ve tried Warby Parker a million times and they just never seem to fit my face right, although I like their styles.

  13. Another desk recommendation question. We just re-arranged the house. I need a desk that can face into the room vs up against the wall [for zoom background reasons and also less visual clutter], but NOT a huge executive-style one. I’m hoping to find something more writing-desk sized but with a finished back so it looks nice. Drawers/shelves would be ideal.

    Any good ideas? I’m currently using an oversized nightstand which is not actually bad in terms of the space, but doesn’t have a spot for my knees and the back is unfinished so looks silly.

      1. YES, thank you. You win the internet for me today. “finished front” was getting me nowhere.

        1. Sorry to say I think a desk without a modesty panel looks better when floated in a room as you describe.

    3. search on Home Depot for Atlantic Furniture.. we bought 2 writing desks and an end table and it looks great. Not super expensive, though wood is a bit soft. Not a lot of storage though. Back is open.

  14. Maybe I’m An Old now, but I feel like this dress vibes way too weekend/summer church service for the office, and I don’t think throwing a navy blazer over it would help. Even if the prarie-ish sleeves aren’t visible, it’s very…flowy.

    1. Yea it’s not sleek enough for me to wear to the office and is much more conservative/boring than anything I’d wear for fun. I’d maybe wear this shape if I was pregnant and wanted something to lie around the house in but the fabric isn’t right for that.

    2. It’s too feminine for my taste but my 12yo self would have said the same if that makes you feel less Old Person.

    3. I mean . . . it’s not something I’d wear to the office, it does have more of a casual “brunch with friends” kinda vibe for me, but it’s also not something so over-the-top unprofessional that I’d side-eye someone else for wearing it to work. Especially if it’s just a run-of-the-mill workday where she’s just in the office to get work done, and not, say, presenting in a big meeting or interfacing with clients. I guess it’s very dependent on your industry and profession.

    4. Agree: It feels very churchy/brunchy to me. And yet it is $600. I feel like I can’t really blame corporette though: it seems like the fashion industry doesn’t know how to do business casual anymore. I know how to dress for special events. What I need are office appropriate clothes that are not a $300 polyester mess.

    5. I love this dress and would wear it to work, but I also agree that no one knows how to dress anymore. The entire fashion industry is currently a mystery to me.

  15. Anyone else have elderly parents who just will not plan for the future? This would be less worrisome if they were say in their 60s, but they’re in their early and late 70s; and late 70s dad is very much an older person – gets overwhelmed at little things; can’t be the slightest bit off schedule or he gets totally upset (anxiety); lots of sitting all day. Mom brushes everything off because she doesn’t want to think about it and also does not like spending money on skilled professionals (shopping OTOH) – like no one plans that much, you worry too much. I think they do though?? Like if you’ve decided you don’t want to move or downsize, fine but how about making the house more senior friendly? They sort of agree these things are a good idea – like a downstairs master or little things like getting an electrician in for new lighting fixtures in different locations, so bulbs can be changed without climbing ladders – but have this attitude of oh we can do it later/when we’re old. Uh?? Do you think chasing down contractors and permits will get easier – esp since it would be dad’s role and he has slowed down a lot in the last 5 years?

    Anyone else have this with their parents? Do you even say anything about it anymore? I feel like reasoning on this stuff always falls on me because my sister doesn’t say a word/doesn’t get along with them and/or won’t even reason with them she just starts yelling. I’m so so tired . . . .

    1. I tried for years and completely failed. Now my dad is in a dementia ward, the county seized his assets, and I have no say in his care. The stress is making me ill, but there’s nothing I can do short of kidnapping him and going on the lam (not joking).

      Eventually, you have to let people feel the burden of their own laziness and arrogance.

    2. Can you reframe it as asking them to do this for you? In the sense of “if you don’t go to a financial planner and get everything organized, it’s going to be really hard for me to figure it all out if you suddenly get sick or wind up in the hospital.” Or “if you don’t make a plan to get some work done on the house (including possibly a chair lift for the stairs), we need to have a handyman service on call (for the light bulbs and such) and discuss moving you to a single story house. If you break a hip and can’t manage stairs any longer, you won’t be able to come back to the house and I will have to arrange a rehab facility for you. Is that the outcome you want?” And also “I’ve seen friends have to deal with their parents’ house and all their stuff after they pass or when they can’t manage the house anymore, and it’s really hard on them. I don’t want to have to deal with that when it happens to you.”

      I think in general you just need to have the come to Jesus talk. Sit them down, tell them all of the things you are worried about for them (finances, health, caring for their home), and actively work with them on a plan to address them. “Later” has arrived. Don’t take no for an answer.

    3. I have been through this, and it stinks. Unfortunately, I had to get to a place where I recognized they were going to have to live with their decisions, even if those decisions were dangerous or not the same decisions I’d make for them. My mother essentially couldn’t move to the point that she would have died if there’d been a house fire before she decided to go to a lawyer and get an estate plan in order. The thing that motivated her was thinking that the government would take everything away once she went to a nursing home and her husband and children would get nothing if she died. She passed away about 6 months later, but thankfully she had made the decision herself to go to a nursing home and work with a hospice nurse. The only reason she decided to go to the nursing home was because she fell, hit her head, had a mini-stroke (not sure what order this all happened), and my father couldn’t move her.

      My father continued living in his house that was barely one step above a death trap until he started a grease fire. Mercifully, he was not injured and was able to put it out somehow before it caused major property damage. The next week, he finally went to an assisted living apartment. I had very gently brought up the idea of assisted living in the weeks prior, as had one other cousin who he would listen to sometimes, but he had to make the decision on his own after having something really bad (and preventable) happen.

      I’m sorry for the horror-story examples. My point is just that elderly people are adults, and sometimes we have to watch them make really bad decisions, even though it’s awful and stressful.

      1. This: “My point is just that elderly people are adults, and sometimes we have to watch them make really bad decisions, even though it’s awful and stressful.”

        1. Elderly people are adults, but these outcomes feel more like a failure of western individualism and splintered modern communities than a deep truth about human nature. I have no solutions though.

          1. I agree that some of the more catastrophic examples of this are due to culture and the lack of a social safety net in the United States. I do think the point is universal, though, that all people who can make decisions for themselves should be able to do so. Maybe in another culture, a mother is more likely to move in with her adult daughter, but the mother still has the right to eat sugary food even if she has diabetes, or to decline medical care if she wishes to do so, etc.

            Having said that, when I was going through all of this with my parents, I certainly wished I lived in a place that had better systems available for them so I wouldn’t have to worry as much about whether they were going to die in some horrific preventable accident.

    4. We had to do an irrevocable trust for my mom and we just had to wait for that sweet spot where she was with it enough for the notary to be able to arrest that she was competent to sign, yet had become pliable enough to just go along with what we said. A scheme like this could be used by nefarious family members trying to get at a parent’s wealth, but we were just trying to protect her modest assets so that she would qualify for Medicaid yet still have a place to life if she got better (she didn’t, but it was important to her to believe she would live independently again some day.)

    5. My mother and stepfather have, thankfully, been the absolute opposite of this. They moved into a nice continuing care community and always planned to. My father, however, is overweight, has a very bad knee and hearing issues, and lives alone with few social contacts, and he was shocked by the suggestion from two of his kids that perhaps he should look for a place without very steep stairs and three floors. We aren’t very close because he was not a good father to me after the divorce, yet he will surely be a burden to me in years to come.

    6. Yep it terrified me that they wouldn’t get someone in to check/fix the GAS stove because oh we can jiggle the burners and then they work. (It’s fixed now because I made a BIG DEAL out of it.) Ok fine mom cooks a ton and can move the burners etc. Dad – he didn’t do it, the entire downstairs reeked of gas when I came running downstairs and he was like eh I don’t smell anything?! And then as I was like OMG we need to open windows NOW, they were both like eh I’m sitting down with my tea I’m not wasting my time with this, as dad insisted he didn’t smell anything?? Yet you so much as mention an electric stove and it’s NOOOOOO you can’t make good rotis on an electric stove. Their retirement has been stressful for me – and like you the other sibling is no help/actively makes it worse.

    7. OMG my parents absolutely refused to do any planning, even after the first time they had a health scare and it was clear they needed a plan for when they couldn’t live on their own any more. They literally told me “our plan is to be carried out of here [one bed, one bath condo with no room for a caretaker] feet first.”

      And they executed that plan. Only problem was, when they were carried out feet first, they were still alive! And I had to scramble around and find care and alternate living arrangements for them, and it was the most horrible thing I’ve ever been through and that’s coming from somebody who has been divorced twice! And of course they were bitterly unhappy with the choices I made but it was their lack of planning that made it necessary. My poor dad ended up hospitalized for months after being taken from his home in an ambulance, and he never saw his home again — when he was discharged it was to the assisted living place I found for them.

      I offer this as a cautionary tale and urge you to share it with your parents. And if they still won’t cooperate, I urge you to look at what the options are for when it inevitably falls on your shoulders on an emergency basis. (Not-so-fun fact: Most people who end up in assisted living move there as the result of some kind of emergency. Ugh.)

      1. At least I had all the necessary power of attorney documents. If you do nothing else, OP, make sure you have those in your hot little hands.

      2. My husband and I had very similar situations with both our parents. One insisted on being independent into 90’s and fell leading to TBI. He went straight from the hospital into the nursing home, and died one day before the 6 months of medicare ended.

        The other (my mother) lived in complete denial, hiding falls and the fact she almost bedridden (in a large multi story house) from us, not answering the door, until I finally broke in to the house & took her to the ER where she was diagnosed with advanced cancer in her mid 70s. She too never went home. She lived one month after that, in a very expensive nursing home, denying she had cancer and wanting to go home. It was all awful, but this is the way it is. No amount of talking would have changed the behavior of either of these people, who were damned determined not to leave their house (but they did anyway).

        Luckily, both my husband and my parents had well done estate and end of life planning, including powers of attorney and trust accounts that could be used to pay expenses, and were both relatively well off. I cannot imagine how much worse it is without this. So if you do anything, make sure they see a lawyer and have all of that worked out.

    8. OK – Nobody is going to like this but here is my take:

      (1) 70s is not old unless they have signs of dementia/Alzheimers.
      (2) Unless they are asking fo your help, adults get to go to hell in their own way. You are of course entitled to put whatever conditions you think appropriate on your assistance if and when they want it.
      (3) They are grown ups and will likely grow to resent any efforts by their “child” to treat them otherwise. It gets to the point of being counterproductive. If you have serious concerns about specific things, you can try enlisting someone they trust (doctors are good about this; they cannot tell you anything but you can tell them whatever you want). Clergy and their friends and siblings can also help.
      (4) I understand the impulse to plan, but the fact is you cannot plan for every eventuality. One person can live in their house well into their 90s; another really needs to be on a single floor (or in residential care) in their 60s or 70s. My own older family members have run the gamut.

      A downstairs master is a LOT of work and I would give up on that. For smaller things, I recommend making a a list, offering to help them set it up, and then mentioning it no more than 2x/year. And then let it go. As long as they are competent and not requesting your help, you cannot make them do anything and you are no more entitled to make their decisions than they are entitled to make yours. You will in fact have to take “no” (or even “later” for an answer) no matter what you think of it.

Comments are closed.