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Workwear sales of note for 6.02.23:
- Nordstrom – The Half-Yearly Sale has started! See our thoughts here.
- Ann Taylor – $50 off $150; $100 off $250+; extra 30% off all sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 50% off
- Cole Haan – Up to 50% off select styles; extra 20% off sandals & sneakers
- Eloquii – 60% off all tops
- Express – 30% off all dresses, tops, shorts & more; extra 50% off clearance
- H&M – Up to 60% off online and in-store.
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off “dressed up” styles (lots of cute dresses!); extra 50% off select sale
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything; 60% off 100s of summer faves; extra 60% off clearance
- J.McLaughlin – The Sale Event: extra 30% off
- Loft – 40% off tops; 30% off full-price styles
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty.
- Shopbop – Up to 60% off sale
- Sue Sartor – Lots of cute dresses on sale!
- Talbots – 25-40% off select styles
Other noteworthy sales:
- CB2.com – Up to 40% off; pop-up sale up to 30% off
- Joss & Main – Up to 60% off, plus an extra 20% off with code
- Tuft & Needle – Save up to $775 on mattresses (Reader-favorite brand; Kat really likes hers!)
- West Elm – Up to 25% off in-stock furniture; up to 60% off clearance
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- Favorite comfy pants for an overnight plane ride?
- I’ve got a nasty case of tech neck…
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What’s the best commuter backpack?
- I’m early 40s and worry my career arc is ending…
- I canNOT figure out the proportions in this current season of fashion…
- How is everyone wearing scarves in 2023?
- What shoes are people wearing to work between boot and sandal season?
- What’s a good place for a relaxing solo escape?
- What are some of your go-to outfits that feel current?
- I need more activities that are social, easy to learn and don’t involve extreme running/jumping/etc.
I like the deep V and big buttons too! I’m waiting till after Christmas for a sizable shopping spree though! I always look forward to my post holiday shopping for myself!
Anyway, I’d like to thank the ‘rettes who recommended Laura Mercier’s Truly Red lipstick, I got mine from Sephora yesterday and I love it!
One of those items that’s kind of boring to buy but invaluable to own:).
Agreed. One of my best purchases of the season was a camel colored cashmere cardigan. I reach for it time and time again.
I love this sweater and own it in about five colors. It is an indispensible staple in my wardrobe. I like the thinness of the fabric — not bulky but still keeps me warm. The perfect weight for Southern California where office temperatures are quite frigid.
I love this pick. I find myself reaching for cardigans frequently, and I need another one (or two) to put into the rotation. I’ve found this style to be pretty flattering on me. My only question would be which color to buy – love the dark blue, plum, and yellow raisin.
I’m generally a size 4 or 6 on top. Any tips on whether to go the small or medium route, anybody?
I own this in the chocolate brown. I’m generally a size 10, and the medium works well on me. So I’d recommend going with the small if you’re a 4-6.
How’s the sleeve length? It doesn’t look like it would accommodate my monkey arms well.
It’s fine on me. But I’m 5’2”, so it might not work so well if you do have long arms. Hopefully a taller corporette can give some insight.
Pet peeve: when the neckline of a cardigan doesn’t match the neckline of what you’re wearing it over. V-necks with v-necks, scoop with scoop. Looks SO much neater.
except the v’s of my shirts and cardigans rarely match each other – and I don’t have any scoop cardigans
I don’t think I have ever followed this rule. In fact, I think v-necks with v-necks look strange unless the angle of the “v” matches perfectly… and that never happens.
This. (Despite the fact that I’m kind of fudging it today. Granted, the cardigan has a very low draped front, so it doesn’t really look like a v.)
I’ve stopped buying v-neck tees for this reason and stick with scoop-necks now.
a passion for fashion
yeah, this. In fact, I actually think it looks quite odd when you wear a v neck cardi with a v neck shirt underneath.
Really? I kind of think that scoop necks look better with V-neck cardis… But agree that a V neck shirt wouldn’t be the best look for a scoop neck cardi. I’ve never given it much thought until now, though.
I make it a point to never match the neckline of what I’m wearing with the cardigan, I agree with L, I think it looks weird unless everything is in line.
I feel it should be the opposite. I think it looks really weird to have the same neckline for both pieces. I wear v-neck cardigans with scoop or crewneck tops/dresses, and typically wear crewneck with tops/tanks that have a wider v-neck.
found a peanut
100% disagree. I think a v-neck with a v-neck cardigan over it looks really weird.
100% disagree, too! I think it looks much better with mix and match necklines!
SF Bay Associate
Me too. It’s too matchy-matchy when the necklines are identical and line up perfectly, and looks confused when the necklines are similar but misaligned. Better to contrast.
Disagree. You need a fairly straight neckline under a v-neck.
Quite the Successful Troll (for those of you who follow ATL).
I secretly love successful troll. He (or she) is sometimes quite clever.
I’m with Ellie on this – I hate the straight line of a scoop neck under a v-neck cardigan or other layering piece. All I see is a big triangle on my chest.
I think it helps if you “blend” the colors better. I don’t really like white shirt + colored cardigan in any neckline. I think off-whites or grays look better, or other color combos. I’ve gotten daring in my old age – I have a yellow-green cardigan that looks great with dark purple, I like teal and olive together, yellow and black (actually I do my yellow cardigan with a black and white small polka dot top), olive cardigan with dark purple… you get the picture.
Yikes didn’t know this would be such a fiery topic! I guess my original statement sounded a little extreme. Personally I’m not crazy about the look in the picture. But surely we can all agree that v-neck dresses just look weird with scoopneck cardigans? Or v-neck cardigans with really high scoop necklines? A la http://tinyurl.com/7ddu8kd ? No? Ok then. Sorry if I offended anyone.
That’s not a scoopneck – that’s a crew neck…
Yep, that’s a crew neck, not a scoop neck, and I agree that a crew neck looks weird with a v-neck cardigan
I don’t like crewneck cardigans because all my first layer pieces have lower necklines and I think it looks really weird to have a higher neckline on your 2nd layer… so I hear you.
One the fiery, yes – this isn’t peace in the middle east. This is cardigans, people.
Nope, no offense taken here- one of the reasons I love this blog is for all the different fashion opinions! We’re all entitled to our personal style, I think it’s great that you know how you feel about V-necks with high scoops :)
PSA: I’m on a shopping hiatus right now (pregnant, so expanding belly and feet), but I wanted to share this deal from my Shop It To Me today, so hopefully someone else can take advantage: the beautiful Tory Burch Eliza Low Heel Pump is marked down from $275 to $137, comes in both black and a beautiful “fig plum,” and still available in all sizes 5 to 11. A great buy for anyone looking for a low heel, classic shoe, or beautiful purple!
Link to follow in reply.
Love that “fig plum” color!
Thanks! I’ve been looking for a quality low-heeled purple pump in a size 11 for less than $150, for AGES. You just made my weekend.
Glad to help! Hope they are just as gorgeous in person!
I wear an 11 also. What other brands are you able to consistently find in 11s? It seems like so many only come in 5-10.
S in Chicago
I’m also an 11 and usually do a lot better online with Nordies and Zappos than in store. Although the Rack “Big Shoe Events” are the best, too.
Cole Haan and Kate Spade usually have some nice work shoes in terms of nice brands.
S in Chicago
Also a thanks for your PSA. I went to peek at the pumps and there is so much on sale right now. I just sent a pair of$160 boots to myself for my birthday. By the way-they didn’t have my size on line but a quick call to customer service tracked them down. Took all of two minutes for them to do . Figured I’d mention in case anyone else was bummed not to see their size with something.
While waiting for the link to come through moderation, I should mention that the deal is on the Tory Burch website.
thank you for that tip – I’d been on the fence about those and now they are en route to me!
Yay! Glad to be of service!
This post reminds me that I keep meaning to ask Corporettes: have you seen any merino v-neck sweaters around this year? I have only seen cardigans that are pure merino. I have a few from the past couple of years that are great under suits, but I cannot find any replacements this year. Help?
Costco! They have had them for about a month and they feel lovely. I don’t know if they are on the website or not.
Try Brooks Brothers.
Yes — Brooks Brothers definitely has some.
Yep – just bought a BB one last Friday. Love.
Thanks! I thought I had checked BB but apparently not. As far as I can tell they are one of the only places doing full merino (don’t have a Costco membership though). My peeve with Banana is that the sweaters cost the same as 100% merino, but are only 80% merino. I don’t want that much nylon in my sweaters. (Boden’s are mixed with angora – I’m allergic.)
Try Uniqlo. I love my V-necks from them and think they have both merino and cashmere options.
Boden has awesome merino.
I put this elsewhere, but Lord & Taylor. Nice weight, nice color, a v-neck that is not super deep but can accommodate a shirt collar. Plus they send coupons all the time, so prices are good.
Banana has some…
The Limited has some in lots of colors (but I think they’re blends).
Have any a plus size ladies out there noticed that Halogen seems to be offering less (or no) plus size options these days? I used to be a big fan of their suits and cardigans, but for the past 6 months I haven’t able to find anything in stores or online. Bummer – they usually had solid, affordable items…
I do NOT like the cardigan when it is SHORT b/c it does not cover my Tush enough. I would NEVER wear this to work anyway, b/c the manageing partner would be stareing at alot of me that I do NOT want him lookeing at. FOOEY on HIM!
Right now, I have been lookeing at a real nice sweater (cashemere) at Macys that is only $89 on SALE.
I have a COUPON that I will use tomorrow. There is a special PRE-HOLIDAY special on it!!!! Then I can get some chestnuts for a snack! Yummy!!!!!!
I somehow can’t get on board with v-neck cardigans being a little chesty. although I exclusively wear v-neck sweaters and never crew neck. But then I wear my crew-neck cardigans usually unbuttoned, or just one button done up.
Hmm, I have the opposite problem – I always feel like v-neck cardis look dowdy and shlumpy on me, which I think is because of my lack of chestiness.
I don’t know who they actually look good on. On my large chest I feel like a V-neck has the effect of a neon sign saying HERE ARE THE GIRLS!
I’ve recently come to this realization myself. I seem to only have v-neck cardigans right now and everytime I see my reflection, I think it looks weird. I seriously need to order crew neck ones to replace these.
Research, Not Law
I agree, although I only button a cardigan if I’m freezing, so I still own and v-neck cardigans. I always just wish they were crewneck.
I’d just like to thank those of you who’ve been talking about Revenge lately… I started watching last night, and now I’m hooked (and exhausted–stayed up way too late watching). Good recommendation.
Anyone else fly into a white-hot rage when it wasn’t on this week, and instead Barbara Walters was interviewing the frickin’ Kardashians?
Or maybe it’s just me.
It’s not back until some time in January. A few weeks ago I got screwed and stayed up to watch it, only to be cruelly denied.
LOVE that show. Emily is such an interesting combo of good and not so good. An addictive show. Her boyfriend seems to genuinely love her though, so I feel kind of bad for him.
I’m kind of mad at her Japanese revenge tutor.
“Japanese revenge tutor” make me laugh out loud! Thanks.
I got this cardigan as a birthday gift recently and ended up returning it. I have sort of a long torso and and this just hit in the wrong place — somewhere between natural waist and hips — and it made me look awful. The deep v didn’t help either since it pulled everything down. This would probably be better on someone with a shorter/more petite torso.
I returned it for this: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-pleat-shoulder-cardigan/3066923
which sadly is unavailable. I would recommend it though if it comes back in stock. Very true to size. I bought a medium which wears nicely both open and buttoned over something.
I want to mention that Lord and Taylor has some very nice light-to-midweight merino sweaters this year. With the coupons they seem to send you every week, you can get them for about $35. I have an orange v-neck that I LOVE, and an olive v-neck cardigan with slightly puffed sleeves that I am dying to get a chance to wear (WTF, DC weather? 62 degrees in December?). The L&Ts by me have a decent selection in both petite and regular. I am usually an XS or sometimes XS petite in Loft, for L&T about the same – I could go either XS or XSP. I think L&T is pretty good quality, too, and I think they have decent return policies (not as amazing as Nordstrom, but serviceable).
Thank you for saying this before I went through with my intention to buy a couple of these … I have a very long torso (and very short legs – they’re the same length as women I know who are four inches shorter than me) so thanks for this tip. I hate having to tug at things to try to get them to be a little longer on me.
You’d think something called “Pleat Shoulder Cardigan” would have a view that shows said pleats on shoulder. Product photo fail, Nordstrom.
I bought this in a couple of colors and am returning it. I like that the buttons are substantial, but the fabric is a very thin wool. This seater would look great on small and petite women, but it doesn’t look great on very curvy me.
If you do like this sweater- item number 367496 is the same sweater in a tan herringbone color available in select sizes for only $29.97.
found a peanut
I feel really nauseous this morning for no apparent reason…haven’t had anything to eat today except for some green tea (am currently trying to choke down oatmeal). I’m not usually nauseous and while this could be from what I (over-)ate last night, I’m kind of scared I’m pregnant. Is that ridiculous?
I’ve had various stomach ailments that felt remarkably like pregnant. So could be a number of things, including pregnant I suppose, though nausea was not my very first pregnancy symptom with my first child. It was very tender breasts the likes of which I had never experienced and ravenous hunger. With my last 2 kiddos though, the nausea was first and I knew I was pregnant as soon as I started to feel it.
I should add that for me the stomach ailments are not very common at all, but more common than pregnancy for sure. You probably just caught a but or ate something that was a bit off.
found a peanut
You just made me more scared…my breasts HAVE been slightly tender recently. Gahhhh!
Oh so sorry! Really I was trying to be reassuring.
found a peanut
Ha, I know. And I’m married, so being pregnant would not be a catastrophe. Just a rather unplanned surprise.
anon for this
Yeah, I didn’t experience nausea until later. My first indication that I was pregnant was when I passed out on my front porch talking to my neighbor. And I think I was maybe 2 weeks pregnant at the time!
Ditto on breast tenderness and hunger. In my case extreme fatigue is also an indicator, but only when accompanied with the first two!
Probably. People become nauseated for all sorts of reasons! If there aren’t any other reasons you might be pregnant, then in all likelihood you’re just feeling a little off. But if it’ll make you feel better, take a pregnancy test. :-)
I will randomly have stretches where the idea of breakfast in the morning makes me nauseous, and then I’ll be totally hungry by lunch and life goes on as normal. And so far – not pregnant.
I get light-headed/nauseated fairly frequently in the mornings. I think if I just get up too fast or take a shower that’s too hot, I have these issues.
Not ridiculous, I think every (sexually-active) woman has wondered that from time to time. If it makes you feel any better, I think most pregnant people get nauseous around 6-8 weeks into the pregnancy. In other words, you probably would have noticed a missed period by now. It’s more than likely either what you ate last night
found a peanut
Oh man, if this baby is 6 weeks old already, I’ve done A LOT of damage to it. Forgive me, ball of cells.
a nonny miss
this made me laugh out loud!
HAHA. Me too. “this kid’s going to loooove red wine.”
I dated a guy who asked me “If you were married, and trying to get pregnant, you wouldn’t drink as much, right?”
a nonny miss
I hope your answer was that you’d drink just as much or more.
Not that I believe every woman needs to live in a magic bubble and deny their own independence to protect potential future babies, BUT, my understanding is that teratogenic substances (e.g., alcohol, cigarettes) are more influential in early stages of pregnancy. So if you were trying to get pregnant, I wouldn’t consider it totally unreasonable to start prepping yourself and your body for the switch to pregnancy (cut down on alcohol and cigarettes, start on folic acid if recommended, that type of thing). Obviously this should be balanced against your own needs – if you’ve been trying for a long time you’re not necessarily going to cut out alcohol just in case, or you might decide you need your glass of wine to destress, or whatever. But it’s not totally nutty to think, there is a chance I will get pregnant in the next 2-4 months, you’ll never know immediately, so why not start ahead of time on some of these things? It may also make it easier when you actually NEED to cut things out or change up routines due to pregnancy, because you’ve already started transitioning.
However, I am a callow 25-year old who’s never had kids, and certainly not a medical expert, so feel free to take my comment with a grain of salt..
My doc said not to worry about a glass of wine here and there even if you may be pregnant. A small amount won’t hurt a baby in the very early stages. I’d stay away from shots though. ;-)
I got pregnant unexpectedly with my youngest and when I went to the OB to confirm my pregnancy I started crying and told her that my husband and I had split a bottle of champagne the night before I figured out I was late. She laughed and said, “well that’s how most babies happen!”
My son is 100% fine, FWIW.
Don’t worry that you’ve done major damage if you are pregnant…I got pregnant last Dec. and drank quite a bit over Christmas and New Years and then found out in mid-January that I was pregnant. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl in September, so no worries!
Sorry if this is TMI, but I frequently get nauseous when my allergies are bad and/or I have a sinus infection because some of the nasal drainage ends up in my stomach and irritates it. Where I live, everyone is having bad allergies right now, so that’s one possibility.
I’m 2 days late and am never late. No other symptoms. 3 negative pregnancy tests this week, but none were taken in the morning. Planning to take another tomorrow morning. Skip the wine at Christmas party tonight?
Poss you are late because you are stressed about prospect of being pregnant (whether welcome or unwelcome)?
Good question. In theory, it’s welcome, as we’re kind of planning for it in the near future. But I got about an hour of sleep last night because I was so anxious. I don’t feel financially ready (massive amt of debt), but will of course make a baby my number one priority if I am preggers.
You’re probably not, given the negative tests. But I’m having the same dilema – over a week late (but I’m always unpredictable!), only off the pill for a month now, no other symptoms (though I’ve been really tired lately), but still trying to get up the nerve to take a test (it’s sitting on my kitchen table right now, mocking me) and find the time, since everything has to be perfectly in place- husband has to be there, have to have time to process it, etc., for me to deal with it, in my mind.
Going out tonight with some friends, and probably won’t have time to go home first, but would really like a beer. Still debating whether I should. Had a lot of wine last week, though (and it would have to have been already in place last week.)
When I came off the Pill (not to get pregnant, just to stop taking hormones), it took almost two years for my periods to become regular again, so even if you’ve never been late before, it can really mess with you. I went six months without a period at one stage and even after that they were all over the place for ages.
I take it you are trying to get pregnant, but just something to keep in mind.
First few months off the pill I was about a week late. I did take a test, and it was negative. Take the test, it’ll make you feel better. And then you can have your beer without feeling needlessly guilty.
Not to be unhelpful, but an interesting tidbit that I learned from my doctor (who has a maternity specialization, though I see her as my GP) earlier this week – apparently people have a higher chance of conceiving in the first month after they go off BC. I was really surprised by that but apparently she sees it a lot.
Have a beer. If it’s that early, you’re not sharing wine with the phantom baby yet. :)
Well, Nonny, isn’t that exciting. Oh, boy.
Yeah, my husband and I have talked about drinking during pregnancy, and we both seem to agree that a little bit is not really a problem, and he was pretty clear that he didn’t think that I should cut back when I don’t even know anything’s happened. I did have a little bit more then a little bit at a party last week, which is the only think that I would really worry about. I’m pretty confident that one beer, particularly with food, shouldn’t be a big problem. Heck, I’ll make it a light beer. :)
(Boy, this post is really making it sound like drinking’s a big part of my life, isn’t it?)
Two things my doctor told me: 1) pregnancy tests don’t show up positive until 10 days after conception, so that might explain the negatives up to this point. 2) a glass of wine on occasion during the first trimester is ok. (obviously some people disagree with this, but I’m just repeating what I was told by my doctor.)
So maybe order a glass, carry it around and take a sip now and then so as to not arise suspicion.
10 days after conception is still a few days before your period is due. But yes, I hear now that occasional glasses of wine are okay, Europeans have been doing it for years!
Drink water or gatorade. Nausea is a symptom of dehydration. Maybe you just didn’t have the chance to drink enough hydrating fluids (NOT tea, and NOT alcohol) over the past few days.
This is going to sound weird, but did you take a vitamin this morning before you ate anything? In law school, I randomly got on a health kick and started taking vitamins, but also always ate breakfast during my first class. For about a week straight, I had to get up and leave the room to puke. I thought I was pregnant (I think the entire room thought I was pregnant). Ultimately, I just couldn’t handle the vitamin on an empty stomach.
I have the same problem. If I’m taking vitamins, I have to be very careful to eat immediately beforehand. Otherwise I spend the next several hours feeling like i’m going to puke.
I get weird morning nausea sometimes, and I’m definitely not pregnant*. I’ve been told that it can be related to blood sugar spikes and drops in the morning for some people.
*if I am, all y’all better buy insurance now, because Armageddon’s about the hit town.
anon in Texas
Suggestions for holiday gift for my 15 year old half brother?
He’s in the 10th grade, very smart, just started learning how to drive, into Coldplay & U2. I just got him an American Eagle Giftcard for his birthday a few months ago. I’d hate to do the same thing again. I don’t know where these younguns are shopping these days. Looking to spent between $30-50.
found a peanut
Does he like video games? You could get him a new game for whatever system he has.
Does he like sports? I usually get my similarly-aged brother sports tickets, which becomes a joint gift for my brother and my dad.
Amazon.com gift card? iTunes gift card? I think kids this age are really hard to shop for unless you know a specific thing they want/need.
SF Bay Associate
Maybe I’m lame, but I always do educational/physical health gifts, as opposed to video games or clothes. Do you have a trampoline park near you? Get tickets for him and a friend. The teen boys seem to love trampoline park dodgeball at the one in SF.
If he is into Colbert/Daily Show, one (or both) of their books. My little-little brother loves those. Or the
A nice wallet for his permit/license (I know someone was looking for that earlier this week or maybe last).
Youth in Revolt series if he has that kind of a sense of humor. (I loved those books.)
A decent watch?
Youth in Revolt – a classic! Love that book.
I also have a 15-year-old brother who sounds exactly like yours…Youth in Revolt for sure if he hasn’t gotten it. It’s one of those books that should be read for the first time in the throes of the teen years.
Mine is also getting the page-a-day calendar of AwkwardFamilyPhotos. It’s at the calendar store, and evidently all the rage with the teenagers (and me, since I saw it).
Also, the nice wallet is a really good idea. My brother just got his learners and it’s sort of adorable how he’s always coming up with an excuse to open his wallet so people will see it.
Finally, I recently got him a football trivia book. If there’s a particular sport (or other subject) he’s interested in, that’s helpful. He liked it because he likes to talk sports with the guys and he sounds more authoritative.
Seriously, though, Youth in Revolt…I’m a grown woman with a husband and mortgage and I can still remember reading it under my desk in class in 10th grade and laughing uncontrollably at the mom-throwing-brownies scene in his bedroom…and being sent to the principal’s office for refusing to explain what I was laughing at.
I read it when I was about 30 – I don’t know when I’ve laughed so hard at a book. Awesome, awesome book. I met the author a few times – he lives in California. He’s a hoot.
Barrister in the Bayou
I hate to say it, but unless you really know what he’s into, I would stick with a mall gift card or cash.
I have two teenaged siblings and they wish everyone would give them cash instead of gifts. I find that if you actually buy them something they won’t really use/like it (unless they specifically asked for it).
Maybe you can take him out to do something fun (that he chooses) and give him a card with some cash in it?
Not the best answer, but its an honest one… happy hunting!
My nephews are 14 and 15 and they generally want cash or iTunes giftcards (they both have iPhones). I have gotten them shirts at Hollister (a place where I would personally never set foot in otherwise) but only with a specific recommendation from my brother. They like cash to buy whatever games they want at the moment and can almost never tell me something specific.
does he like sports at all? Do you know which team if he does?
you can get personalized hats with logos or other fun stuff from Lidz which most malls have. If he likes American Eagle maybe a gift card to JCrew? Slightly nicer, similar look?
I got my three brothers (17,15, and 13 at the time) different personalized hats which they wear daily.
It’s fun and silly plus gives him a fun hat with a nice connection ie. “my sister got me this hat and it’s awesome”
But I also agree with the thought that if you don’t know him very well sometimes tried and true works really well.
Magazine subscription to Rolling Stone (music-y, edgy, masculine, often has pics of girls in bikinis)?
Does he play an instrument? You probably can’t get him a guitar in your price range, but maybe you could spring for a couple lessons if he already owns one? (Or even singing lessons).
Maybe a “grown-up” wallet with a place for his driver’s license? This one will last until he has grandkids: http://www.saddlebackleather.com/Classic-Wallet-ID.html?sc=19&category=6178
I’ve been feeling not quite right lately and took a depression self-assessment. I’ve moved up a few notches and am squarely in the moderate category. I typically suffer from SAD, but haven’t raised it with my current PCP, am overwhelmed at work, holidays, etc. I am wondering what the best next steps are? Logically waiting doesn’t make sense, but I keep trying to rationalize that I’ll feel better after the holidays. Do I just bite the bullet and go and talk to my doctor? Make an appointment with a therapist?
The last thing you feel like doing is taking action at a time like this. But that is exactly what you must do. Some options:
1. Call your EAP (employee assistance program), if you have one.
2. Go to your campus health center, if you have one.
3. Call a therapist.
4. Call your PCP.
5. At the very least, put on a coat and walk outside for 15 minutes some time today.
Tell us later today which one you chose.
“The last thing you feel like doing is taking action at a time like this.”
This REALLY rang true for me. I’ve been going through a moderately depressive period for reasons completely mysterious for me and I’ve really been struggling with this. I don’t want to go to a therapist. I also have been grinchy about Christmas. Frankly, I just haven’t wanted to do a whole lot.
Reading this is something of a kick in the pants. I need to DO something about this, rather then just hoping it’ll go away. (But of course, after typing this, I’ll probably just eat lunch and watch the Revenge I have on DVR…but that’s kind of doing something…right?)
I don’t know if it’s helpful to you, but I’ve been feeling the same way. My boyfriend and I broke up about two months ago, and my own family traditions are changing this year. I’ve been throwing myself into work and training for a marathon. Nothing is helping, and I sort of alarmed myself over the weekend by picking a fight with my parents who didn’t deserve it. For those who have called EAP, how does it work? I have one, but I’ve never used it. Anon, I’m sorry you feel bad–hang in there.
Checking in with your PCP sounds like it should probably be your first step, if only to rule out any other things that might be causing depression-like symptoms. He or she can also lay out your options for you medication wise, which is helpful to know even if you don’t intend to start taking anything right now.
I personally think making an appointment with a therapist is a great idea, and will be money well spent even if your depression does resolve after the holidays. I originally started seeing a therapist for anxiety issues, but it’s been helpful for so many things aside from just anxiety. I wish I’d done it sooner.
The only downside to going to the doctor is the time you spend doing it. Whereas the downside to not going is much worse – the longer depression goes untreated, the harder it is to get rid of.
Consider getting a dawn simulator for your SAD. It truly changed my life. I’ll be on antidepressants for the rest of my life, but now I’m actually happy in the winter; before, it took a lot of self-discipline to function, without much emotional payback.
I would work with a therapist to develop a game plan. Also consider trying alternative medicine cures before going down the pharmaceutical path. Many people have success with acupuncture, Bach’s flower remedies (check out the very informative website), and/or a Traditional Chinese Medicine formulation called Jia Wei Xiao Yao Wan, among other things.
You might also consider that there is something medically wrong with you. I was feeling “off” for quite a while and ended up at PCP. I knew it was likely depression or my thyroid.
I was diagnosed hypothyroid and my life is 100% different. PCP also prescribed Vitamin D.
One year later on the correct thyroxine dosage: feel great, running daily again, eating better, not exhausted and 20 pounds lost (effortlessly, no less!).
My recommendation: go see you PCP.
Thanks ladies. I appreciate the support. Odd when you “know” the right thing to recommend to other people, but when it happens to you – absolutely clueless. I know I shouldn’t be embarrassed, by it but somehow I am! I’m a perfectionist, so I think I’ve probably been in denial longer than I’d care to admit.
Got the name of a therapist and will be calling my PCP to schedule an appointment before I do anything else. I recently had a medical work up (lack of weight loss and sleep issues) so it’s good to go in and just come clean.
If you decided to go the medication route and are having problems losing weight, you might want to ask your doctor about wellbutrin. Other types of antidepressents often supress weight loss.
I had PPD and was still trying to lose baby weight, so I asked for wellbutrin, and it has helped immensely! I lost all of my baby weight plus a little and I feel a lot better emotionally.
Feel better soon!
The lack of sleep and weight loss also make me think of hyperthyroidism. It’s worth getting a blood test to rule it out.
Only thing that got me out of like a year long depression/self destruction spiral: getting a dog. Therapy, medication, exercise, venting to my girlfriends, booze, pouring myself into work, none of those things came close to just playing with him for 10 minutes.
I know this obvs wouldn’t work for everyone, but that’s what did it for me.
My dog was seriously the only thing that got me through the bar exam. Puppy therapy is legit.
Also, if you are on birth control, be aware that many types of hormonal birth control can cause depression… even the low dose ones can build up in your system and cause stealthily increasing depression. Most doctors don’t tell you that and are more likely to give you anti-depressants than to take you off fake hormones.
After 3 years on Nuvaring, I had slowly gone emotionally numb and didn’t even notice it… until I forgot to make an appointment in time for a refill and skipped a month. I had no idea how terrible that stuff made me feel until I got off it. Just a thought.
Also, you may want to tweak your diet to include “anti-depressant foods”… chemically, it can help without drugs. http://www.anti-depressionfoods.com/foods/anti-depression-foods-non-starchy-vegetables-list/
Pet peeve of the day – clients who ask you to do something, then go off and do it themselves and don’t copy you in/let you know they’ve done it.
found a peanut
Ugh. Related pet peeve: a partner/more senior associate asks you to do something and then when you report back they tell you that they already did it or assigned someone else to do it.
When it’s research of some sort, it makes me feel like I’m in a race to get it done before the more senior attorney gets it done.
Another pet peeve: when the more senior attorney comes by expecting an answer before the assigned deadline, then decides to do it themselves.
reposting because I didn’t realize I wasn’t on the most recent post…
I’ve been on BC for 10 years. Normally I’d have a 4-5 day heavy period. For the last few months I’ve had brown spotting for a day or two, followed by a heavy period for a day or two. Does this happen to anyone else? I had precocious puberty and started getting my period at 9 so I’ve always had some period anxiety.
Have you changed formulations lately? I’ve been on three different formulations in the last 9 years and had a different period with each.
I have lower frequency cycles (in addition to the 28-day cycle) on my current formulation. I’ll have a light period (during placebo week) for 3 months and a heavier period the fourth month.
Same pill for the last 3-4 years. I’m terrified that since I started my period so young I’ll enter menopause young too. Thanks for the response!
I’m not on BC, but I get brown spotting sometimes for a day (occasionally 2) before my period. I don’t think it’s anything to be concerned about.
Thanks for the response!
Are any of you giving holiday gifts to secretaries, paralegals, etc. who are not assigned to you but help you from time to time anyway (e.g., a secretary to a partner for whom you do a lot of work)? How much are you giving? Also, is anyone giving a gift to the IT people? Thanks.
Nope, and nope. But all this talk about giving gifts to support staff is freaking me out a bit. I have done it in the past, when in a larger firm and when I had assigned secretarial support, but in my current small firm I don’t really even have an allocated secretary and no-one seems to be giving gifts to anybody. We just kind of bring in baked goods and share them around. Is anyone else’s firm apparently non-gifting? Please assure me that in following my firm’s standards I am not just being grinchy.
My company is not a gift giving company – there’s 10 of us. Last year the secretary/office manager bought me a present.
Yes. I am in a small office and as far as I can tell, everyone gets his or her secretary a Christmas present, but no one gets our bookkeeper, who helps us all, something. Last year I got her a gift card to a favorite store and am doing the same thing this year.
If you have an assigned secretary/etc., no. If everyone uses the same “pool”, yes. Don’t be afraid to “team up” with another attorney to get everyone a nicer gift, either.
I was at a firm where all the attorneys shared a pool of about 15 support staff. My “best” gift to them was the year everyone in the firm got iPods for Christmas from the partners. I teamed up with another attorney to buy them each a $35 gift card to the iTunes store.
Not to other secretaries, but I am giving gifts to the cleaning women, and the mailroom guy. Our floor does a shared gift.
All the attorneys at my firm chip in to get all the support staff that don’t work a specific attorney something–this year everyone put in $25, and they’re just getting giftcards to somewhere. But as for people who would be getting gifts from someone else (ie, other people’s secretaries), no. If they help you out a lot, maybe something small just to show your appreciation?
Ugh, moderation repost:
I am giving a gift to the secretary of the partner I work most with. I feel awkward giving her money (doesn’t exactly feel appropriate because she isn’t “mine,” and I don’t want to upstage her actual bosses). So I’m going with a small gift ($15-25), heartfelt thanks and writing a review for her even though I don’t have to.
Unless, that is, other c*rporettes think I’m being cheap?
When I was a senior associate, I’d get big boxes of high-quality chocolates for the word processing and library staff and also gift cards for legal assistants and IT support people with whom I had worked a lot. I felt like it was the least I could do, especially because I often worked on intense cases that required lots of evening and weekend work. It would cost me a few hundred bucks, but it was well worth it. The staff always seemed to really appreciate the gifts and especially the gesture (as opposed to some of my assistants who would view their holiday cash as an entitlement).
On the topic of sweaters, Bloomie’s has a bunch of cashmere sweaters marked down to about $80 including the red sweater blazer profiled here a few months ago.
Care and Feeding of the ipad
For those who have iPads, what do you do about carrying them around? In your purse? Does it fit? What if you have to run an errand on the way home from work – do you leave it in your briefcase in the car (not safe)? Carry it in to the store (one more thing to carry)?
I carry my ipad in the purse all the time. I just get used to the weight. If I do leave it in the car (very seldom), then I lock it in the glove compartment.
I left it in the car once and it’s not something I was comfortable doing, even though it was well-hidden. I carry mine during the day so if I have to stop at the store, it comes with me, and my purse (not terribly big) holds it just fine. Otherwise if I’m not going to/from/at work, it stays at home.
left mine in the car the first Sat in Dec for less than 10 minutes while I was picking my daughter up from a birthday party…parked in a very nice neighborhood. And it was stolen. I know I made a foolish choice to leave it there (in a hurry) but I’ve learned the hard way. Now I carry my new one with me everywhere I go…or I leave it at home
Mine is in a slim case I bought on etsy, and is in my bag at all times. I carry it in the stores, or leave it at home or at work.
PS – if anyone is looking for a way to do something nice for the holidays, and needs a creative idea – I went to KMart and paid off a random layaway product (I gave some specifications – I wanted an order which included children’s items, and I couldn’t spend (in total) more than $75 which somewhat limited what I could do). I saw an article about “secret santas” doing this, and thought it was really a lovely idea so I decided to go for it.
This is a supremely nice thing you did. I can’t decide how I feel about layaway, especially at places like WalM*rt. Every article I read says it is predatory. But the people using it seem to like it.
How is lawaway predatory? Seems far better than when Wal-Mart did away with it and offered high interest credit cards instead.
I loved layaway as a kid! I’d pick out an expensive toy and every week I got my allowance I’d go down to the store and hand over my five bucks. It was awesome.
The problem is that some places treat layaway as a mortgage: if you fail to pay they keep both the money and the stuff.
K-Mart doesn’t do that (nor do most reputable places). K-Mart charges a set-up fee initially. And if you can’t pay they keep that and a cancellation fee while returning the rest of your money. (Not really any different than paying shipping both ways on a returned item.)
If you can make all your payments it is infinitely less usurious than a credit card that charges interest. I thought it was great to see stores bringing back layaway this year and was pretty shocked to see the negative media stories. It almost made me wonder if something was behind them, since my experiences (and those of other people I know) were always so positive.
SF Bay Associate
I saw this article on my Facebook feed today – FABULOUS. Good for you momentsofabsurdity!
I would encourage those considering this wonderful gesture to consider paying off a layaway that’s not cute kids’ toys, but something that could be geared towards teenagers. The charity my firm works with is always very short on gifts for teens because everyone loves buying cute little kid clothes and toys, but not so much things teens need or are interested in. So the teens who are probably sacrificing their childhoods to help to raise their younger siblings get to watch their siblings open fun toys and clothes, while the tree doesn’t offer much of anything for them. Teens are still kids, too.
Very good point! Whenever I do a charity gift I always do the older kids because I find them the most fun to shop for (I’m not into babies or little kids, lol, maybe my biological clock with kick in soon…). I was pretty turned off by the post a few weeks/days ago, when someone had a to buy an expensive gaming system for an 19 year old. I can understand a 16/17/18 year old (it’s hard for kids to find jobs these days) that needed new jeans, sneakers, winter coat etc.
Research, Not Law
Do you know what the teens like to receive?
I used to always pick them off the giving trees when I was younger. But as I get further and further away from my own teen years, I’m not sure what’s cool or needed. I’ve started getting tags for little ones my kids’ ages, since I’m more knowledgeable, but I’d love to go back to teens if I felt like I could get something they’d want.
SF Bay Associate
The charity said that iTunes cards are often requested. The charity also encourages gift cards to clothing stores that offer teen but not child clothing, so that they have to spend the card on themselves instead of their siblings, a la American Eagle/Aeropostale/Hollister, as opposed to Target/Sears/Kohls where the gift could get redirected towards the household. Another popular gift is a nice but not obviously branded backpack full of teen school supplies like a scientific (not graphing) calculator. Not North Face backpacks, which are targets for theft, but something sturdy but unremarkable a la Lands End or Eddie Bauer. Movie tickets are another popular choice, especially with a concession stand gift card. Or a gift card to the local arcade. Sports equipment, like a nice soccer ball.
That is really nice. I saw the article today, but I think I’m one of the only ones who was not moved by it. They mentioned how one person had $200 worth of stuff on lawaway and I just find that America is so obsessed with “stuff.” My charity is more geared to needs, and I love the secret santa for children or high need families.
Research, Not Law
Oh, and I’m fascinated by the idea of paying off a layaway. My parents didn’t have money and used layaway. It would have meant the world to them.
Anyone else haaaaaate calling in sick? This is my 3rd day this week. Whenever I take a sick day, I’m always feel like everyone is suspicious that I’m not sick. We get 2 and a half weeks of sick leave every year and my office (govt) doesn’t seem to care if people use them frequently and never requires a doctors note. But, even though I feel like I’ve been run over by a train, I feel like I should have gone to work today. And since it’s Friday, I feel like I can’t leave my house this weekend, if I start feeling better, in case someone sees me and thinks I’m not/wasn’t sick. Ugh..
2.5 WEEKS? I have chosen wrong!
The pay isn’t fabulous, but the benefits and time off are great. I think part of the reason I feel guilty is because I’ve left early quite a few times this year for dentist appointments, dermatologist appointments, etc…Which we are allowed to do, but I probably could have scheduled them for after work. I’m young and want to create a good “professional reputation” and don’t want to be labeled as a slacker or anything. (Because there are people in our office who frequently have the “WINE flu” or”allergies”..usually on Monday and Friday.)
I’ll disagree with you. If I’m sick, I call in sick. I really hate going in sick to work (when I’m against a deadline) or seeing other people who are sick at work. You are very lucky to have sick leave and not forced to dip into your vacation/PLT when sick.
I’ll turn this around, if one of your co-workers called in sick on Friday, and you saw them Sunday, would you think they were faking it?
I do hope you feel better and take care of yourself!
I think I’ve taken 4 days this year and I felt horribly guilty on all of them even though I was actually sick. You’re doing the right thing by staying home and not infecting your co-workers – this is why we have leave!
I rarely call in sick, but I think people appreciate it when co-workers call in sick (legitimately). I would rather have someone who is sick stay away from the office and not spread their germs than have them show up to put in face time and get others in the office sick. That is what sick days are for!
Thanks for posting this! I just bought this sweater this week at full price so I was able to get a price adjustment this afternoon! Woohoo!