ByKat Hours Updated
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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Cap-Sleeve V-Neck Dress

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green sheath dress with sleeves Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. It's unusual to see a sheath dress in such a pretty color of green, and I love that this one has a V-neck and sleeves — I feel like it instantly makes it more wearable across a huge range of offices. Add some fun wedges, booties, and a cozy cardigan and you have a great dress for a business casual office — whereas you can add some nice jewelry, classic heels, and a navy accent like a jardigan or blazer and you're in business in a conservative office. This dress does come in navy, but it's down to lucky sizes only. It was $98, but is currently marked to $58.40 in sizes 00-20 — keep an eye out for JCF's frequent “sale of the day” percent off to bring it down further. (While you're there, check out this $15 boatnecked t-shirt, which is a best-seller and looks like a great elevated t-shirt for work.) Pictured: Cap-sleeve V-neck dress This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 4/21/25:

  • Nordstrom – 5,263 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 40% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles
  • Brooks Brothers – Friends & Family Sale: 30% off sitewide
  • The Fold – 25% off selected lines
  • Eloquii – $29+ select styles + extra 40% off all sale
  • Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
  • J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 50% off sale styles + 50% swim & coverups
  • J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 70% off clearance
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale: Take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Madewell – Extra 30% off sale + 50% off sale jeans
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 30% off entire purchase w/Talbots card

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

261 Comments

  1. Yay! Fruegal Friday’s! I love Fruegal Friday’s and this green dress! Just in time for Spring and Saint Patty’s Day!

    Since Saint Patty’s Day falls on a SUNDAY this year, I am going to go to 2nd Avenue bar hopping on March 17 with my new freind, Laura, who just joined the firm, and knows alot of quality guys who will be out that day too. I figure that I can find at least 1 who may be interested in dateing me, and who know’s? Mabye I can get a guy who will be interested in me for ME, not just for $ex. I am so OVER men like that. FOOEY! Dad says that I may have to be more flexible now that I almost 38, but I say that b/c I am a lawyer and a PARTNER, I can be even more choozy, but I do agree that have to get out there more to meet more guy’s.

    If anyone in the HIVE in NYC is going out on Saint Patty’s day, mabye we can arrange a meetup, and then won’t just be ooogled by men just hungry to satisfy their carnal desires. Let Kat and me know and we can schedule a place; hopefully on the Upper East Side where there are alot of Irish bars! YAY!!!

  2. Recently found out that my boutique has been interviewing new associate candidates. But things are really slow for everyone right now. I joined recently and they tried to get me to join a month earlier on the ground that the firm was really busy. But I have since found that things were actually really slow that month. Why are they even interviewing new candidates?

    1. Ego, mismanagement, because they owe the interviewees dads favors. All reasons my small firm interviews people!

    2. Do they anticipate things picking up, or is there business they’re trying to develop? Often by the time you desperately need new bodies, it’s too late, so they’re likely just planning ahead.

    5. Do you work at my old firm? There the issue was chronic mismanagement and partner delusion but YMMV.

  3. I will be chaperoning 3 teenage (13-15) girls on a weekend trip to NYC. We will do the regular touristy things but I’d like to add a Broadway show. Is there anything worth seeing that is age appropriate? Also, any recs for fun NYC dining experiences? Not looking for great food, honestly. More like “I’ve been there” experiences they can point to, like Katz’s Deli, but not. I am not a mom so anxious about planning.

    1. Come From Away is kid friendly and a nice message about welcoming people who are different than you.

      1. OMG I love Come from Away. Is it odd that I am trying to figure out whether I can ever swing a trip to Newfoundland?

        1. It can be super cheap to fly into Halifax if you were motivated to do a little driving through Nova Scotia and taking the ferry. We own a summer place on the ocean in Cape Breton and the whole area is stunning, authentic and very inexpensive. Great holiday choice!

        2. Yes! Come visit us. You can fly direct from London, UK or Canadian cities like Halifax, Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto etc. Can fly direct from Florida in the winter but summer is the nicest time unless you’re into snow.

          Easy access to great natural experiences like icebergs, sea kayaking, whales, and great food – NY Times did an article on the restaurant scene here last year.

      2. It is also a great message about the universality of experiences and that there can be love and wonder in the midst of the darkest days.

    2. I’m from NJ and we saw shows in NYC all the time (incl. Carmen in the nosebleed seats). I know that Carmen is borderline inappropriate, but somehow it works b/c it is Art. FWIW, I’d go see something in the Village b/c it will be cheaper and midtown is so d*mn vanilla these days — it may not seem as NYC as they are picturing. For girls at this age, Les Mis is just so where I was at that age (and I still know all the words to all of the songs, as do all of my friends).

    3. Any Broadway show is age appropriate for 13-15 year olds! I’d try for Dear Evan Hansen if you can, but seriously literally any show.

    4. When I was that age, I saw Chicago as my first broadway show. I remember loving it and wanting to see more theater shows as a result.

      1. Same with Phantom of the Opera. I think most of the big named musicals would be good. Lion King is good, but might be boring for their age group. Depends on how artsy they are.

      2. I think there are probably parents that wouldn’t want their teenagers watching Chicago…I wouldn’t care, personally, but I know some people who are very concerned about s*xual themes.

        1. Chicago (& cabaret!) was done at my high school as the yearly musical…. it has serious themes, but I don’t think it’s age inappropriate.

          1. This. It’s so cartoonish and almost everyone who is bad learns their lesson. I agree there is s e x but certainly no more explicit than novels the kids are reading in English class at that age, or learning about in History class…

    5. We took our daughter (13 at the time) and a friend to see Wicked on Broadway, and they are still talking about it two years later. Don’t forget to stop at Dylan’s Candy Bar. Have fun!

      1. I think this is a great age for Wicked! Some of the themes are mature, but I remember my friends and I being super into it at about age 14.
        For fun food, ask them if there are any trendy instagram-y places they’d really like to go, like Milk Bar or Black Tap.

      2. I LOVED Wicked — saw it as a traveling nationwide production and it was fantastic. If the girls are familiar at all with The Wizard of Oz, they’ll love all the little tie-ins between the two stories. The themes aren’t so mature that they’d be completely inappropriate for their ages, and the show is popular enough that it would grab/hold their interest.

      3. +1 – Wicked is a great choice. One piece of advice: don’t treat them like children. At that age, yes, they need rules and boundaries, but they know things and they have OPINIONS they want to be respected. By age 12 I had read Victor Hugo’s Les Mis and knew all the words to the musical. You might decide Chicago is a no, that’s fine, but I would have hated School of Rock (still do). Pick 3 options that work budget and time-wise and let them pick or vote.

    6. I was just in NYC for Christmas week with my 2 teens (13,15) and we saw School of Rock. It was good for any age (I enjoyed it too!) and my girls loved it!

      1. Seconding all these suggestions (Come From Away, Dear Evan Hansen, Wicked) but adding a vote for Mean Girls. My teenage daughters loved it!

    8. Seconding Wicked. I classify the show along with Harry Potter and Frozen (i.e., one of my favorites of all time) — has some food for thought for all ages, including reflections on good and evil, friendship, love, and being yourself.

      Shake Shack for grabbing burgers (before the show or anywhere really). Eataly has quality food stations where it’s super easy to grab something for everyone, if you’re in the area.

    9. I would have loved to see The Fantasticks around that age, and tickets may be cheaper because it’s off-broadway.

      1. OMG I don’t think The Fantasticks holds up at all. There is literally a song called “The Rape Ballet” in that show. No, no, no.

        1. I don’t recall that (my high school did this and Grease, which has a pregnancy scare). I did love the Fantastics. I found Beauty and the Beast to be completely horrifying as it is aimed at children. True love doesn’t kidnap!

        2. The term “rape” is used in the sense of abduction, and the lyrics have been revised accordingly over the years. In addition, it’s not promoting or romanticizing actual rape or abduction, but, rather, teaching by showing how different real-life love is from a fairy tale romance (where the girl is endangered, the boy rescues her, and they live happily ever after). Like lots of great art, it may be triggering for some but still has much value.

    10. One of my best memories from that age was seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show on stage in London… with our assistant principal who enjoyed it as much as we did.

      Unfortunate that it didn’t raise in eyebrow in 1994, but surely would be a non-starter now.

      1. I saw it on a work trip sans family and the entire time I wished my teenagers had been there with me. It’s so relevant to their lives.

  4. I’m looking for a unicorn tee. I like heavy modaltypr material, drapey and long ish. Years ago Target’s Merona line had the absolute best tees and called them “swingy tees”. They lasted several years with multi weekly wear and never pilled. I’ve searched for replacements and been unsuccessful. Any ideas? Thank you!

        1. I wouldn’t recommend these. I bought a bunch thinking they’d be the perfect t-shirts and they really don’t wear well. They’re pretty poor quality, and I’m saying that as somebody who has a wardrobe that’s about 80% ON.

    2. You’re not looking for a unicorn! Ughhhh enough with this metaphor. OldNavy sells this.

      1. Um no. You are right that many tees exist out there but finding the perfect one for your body is really hard, just like jeans. It has to be the right length, drapeyness, v-neck, u-neck, crewneck, depending on preference, fabric, etc.

      2. I have a 3yo so I assumed she was looking for an “actual unicorn t-shirt” on the first read through, lol.

    3. WHBM has great V-neck tees that fit these requirements and come in several colors. They are also the best t-shirts I have found for not getting those annoying little holes around the hip/stomach area – and I bought about 15 different t-shirts before finding these. They run buy-one-get-one-half-off sales where they are about $20 each.

      1. Can you link or share the style name? I buy the swing tees from Old Navy but they only last a season because they are cheap rayon.

        1. Altar’d States has tees that fit this description. They’re long enough to wear with leggings and very inexepensive.

    5. This is going to sound crazy, but American Eagle has a line of t-shirts called soft & ____ (word I’m afraid will throw this into moderation!). They’re GREAT. Heavy, drapey, durable. They’re by far my favorites.

    6. As a mom of 3 girls, I thought for a second you actually wanted a t shirt with a unicorn. I get that request regularly ;)

      3. This reminds me of when I was nursing and everything I saw about high-heeled shoes for the office made me think of breast “pumps” lol

    7. I’ve found these are phasing out of style at proportions change. If you find any now, I would stock up.

  5. I’m in desperate need of new blazers / more-polished-than-a-cardigan top layers for work. As a curvy woman, I’m not a fan of traditional blazers with buttons but prefer knit blazers, waterfall cardigans, or structured jackets. The jardigan intrigues me, but haven’t made the leap yet.

    What are your favorite work jackets or knit blazers for work?

      3. +3. I bought 2 recently when someone here posted they were 40% off and they are excellent

        1. Although tip- I did have to buy them in a tall to get the sleeves the right length and i don’t think I have particularly long arms.

    2. Chicos often has soft blazers, and while I’m normally out of their target age demographic, I do really like the basic black/white/mild patterned ones.

    3. As a person boarding on plus size, I love the jardigan with dresses and it works well with collarless blouses and pants. I can’t seem to find the one I have online, but another option is a waterfall blazer. I have a Karen kane one that feels sort of suede-ish, but machine washable and it has more structure than a waterfall cardigan so i love it. I also like the vince camuto blazers with the ruched sleeves. They have a bit more relaxing shape than a traditional blazer, so i find they work well.

    4. Talbots or Kut from the Kloth for knits/pleather on the more structured side, J. Jill on the waterfall/less structured side. Many size ranges to choose from on all of these lines. I also like a number of items from Halogen, but I find that they just do not wear well, so I have stopped buying their stuff.

    5. I’m a fellow curvy lady (12/14) and LOVE my knit/ponte blazers from White House Black market. Super comfortable but look sharp.

    6. Sant Ambroeus jardigan (I’m petite so other versions are too long and look sloppy on me) and J. Crew Going out blazer. PS is the J. Crew going out blazer $158 now?! I did a double take, it was only $88 when I bought mine. I regret not buying black and only buying nazy and gray, I should have also bought black….

      1. I’m really busty and find that the MMLF jardigans don’t really work well… The front pieces just move to the outside of each boob. It’s not a sizing thing, it’s really the lack of structure/weight that other brands bring to the table.

    8. I have actually found a few really good options at target & loft- I’m plus sized and particular about fit & I really like scuba material for it’s structure+stretch.

    9. I’m in same position / body shape as you. I’ve had good luck searching for “ponte blazers” and actually got some from H&M.

  6. When you have labs done, does your hospital or doctor’s office call you when the results are ready? Just curious to know what is normal.

    1. The genetic counselor called with the results from my genetic screening, but the rest I just heard about at my next appointment or looked up on the patient portal.

    2. My office usually calls if there is a problem and sends a letter with normal results. They have an online system that reports results, too. I’ve signed up for that and get an email notification when new test results are added. It’s faster than regular mail. The one time I had abnormal results, they called before it showed up online.

    4. Only if they are abnormal and something needs to be done about it. Otherwise, they just mail them.

    5. If it’s normal it just shows up in the online patient portal eventually. They call with anything abnormal.

    6. My doctor’s office calls with all results. It’s a little jarring because I always think that the reason they’re calling must be because something is wrong.

  7. I bought this dress online and tried it at home – it felt a little cheap. I felt like a nursing orderly from the 50s in this green color. I was just missing the little hat.

    3. I’m not shocked. A good portion of my tops (and my husband’s) are from J Crew Factory and are great for the price. The dresses not so much.

    4. I own this dress and I loved it when I tried it on, though I haven’t worn it out yet. The green is rather vibrant, but I purchased it for a sorority event, not work.

    5. Ha-ha-ha! Ho-ho-ho! And a couple of tra-la-las,
      That’s how we laugh the day away,
      In The Merry Old Land Of Oz

    6. I have this dress from last year and it is a pretty jewel tone. Color isn’t for everyone though. I have pale skin with pink overtones, and this color totally works for me (zap do most jewel tones). I have no complaints with the quality, especially for the price.

  8. Anyone want to help me shop for an interview outfit? In the next month, I will be interviewing for a promotion at my current company. I normally wear ponte dresses with a cardigan to work, but that won’t work for my interviews. We dress business casual and I will be interviewing with people from other departments that I would be working with in my new role, so I’m not sure that I want to wear a full suit. Perhaps a fun blazer with a black or navy dress? If so, any suggestions for either? I’m a curvy sized 14.

    1. Similar size in similar type office (but not hourglass, I store a bit in my tummy)- I usually wear a black suiting skirt, black wedges, and a jewel toned top, and a blazer I can take on or off depending on the vibe. I’ll try to link a similar look below.

    2. I like the idea of a simple sheath and a tweed blazer. Maybe https://www.eloquii.com/tie-waist-tweed-jacket/1267898.html?dwvar_1267898_colorCode=150 and https://www.eloquii.com/9-to-5-stretch-work-dress/1237234.html in navy or the same dress in black with https://www.anntaylor.com/fringe-tweed-jacket/488753?skuId=26717289&defaultColor=5633&catid=cata000017 as blazer. Can punch up with accessories if going with the navy and white (i might do a red shoe) or keep everything else simple.

  9. Is anyone else excited about Jay Inslee declaring? I feel like he’s mainstream enough to carry the Heartland. And he has experience governing.

    1. At this point, if you’re a straight white male, I don’t want to see you in the democratic primary. Think hard about your decision to run and then come to the conclusion that you should take several seats. You do not bring anything new or different to the table. All you represent is the DNC’s fear and lack of faith in minority candidates.
      I don’t buy the BS about how that’s the only demographic that can beat 45.
      So to answer your question, no, I’m not excited about Jay Inslee.
      Let the inevitable flaming of this comment commence.

      1. Eh, I’m from NJ and can remember when we elected a straight white male governor, or at least we thought so at the time. So: beware of surface level assumptions. A sizeable chunk of the gay men I know pay alimony and/or child support.

      2. Really? You would reject someone out of hand for their color and gender?

        The Dems have a lot of issues, and I’m not sure where the primary will shake out, but Inslee is a pretty interesting candidate, and his emphasis on climate change (and track record to back it up) is pretty new and different.

      3. Not going to flame you, but am going to say I’m not sure your position – while admirable – is realistic. There are a lot of people out there who are not woke but are also not liking Trump and would be willing to vote for an alternative they feel psychologically “safe” with. That is how we will get Trump out of office. Not by taking a hardline stance that the candidate MUST be a lesbian woman of color who stands to the far left on every issue. That is how Trump will get re-elected. I for one would like to have a president who is not a lecherous, racist common criminal who keeps rolling back civil rights protections for people I care about. To me, the greater good is getting Trump out. That has to be the focus for 2020. Maybe you’re not aware but there are already significant Internet misinformation campaigns perpetrated by foreign governments starting up against the Democratic candidates who have declared, just like what happened in 2016. We are in a war. We have to fight to win. There’s too much at stake not to.

        1. This I think is at the heart of it. Republicans have changed the game such that it is win at all costs and Democrats are fighting a war of purity. The name of the game here is to beat Trump first and foremost and, hopefully, to do that with a candidate that also inspires hope and positive change in the country. This is not to say that a diverse candidate cannot accomplish this – to the contrary, the midterms proved it could be done! But the winningness has to be prioritized. Otherwise, T’s legacy deepens long after he has left – in the permanent change in the minds of his voters, in the change in our legislature who are so fearful of a primary challenge by him that they don’t speak up, in the foreign powers who will have meddled in our institutions/systems, and in the federal judges and Supreme Court justices that will serve in their positions for ~30 years. Democrats need to play to win because you can’t do any governing if you didn’t win.

      4. If you refuse to vote for someone because of their race, sexual orientation, or gender — you’re a racist. I plan to vote for the person that I believe will do the best job, regardless of their gender, race, or anything else.

        1. +1. It’s also offensive to people of color and women to fetishize them. If they are not the best candidates, they don’t deserve to advance.

          1. Racism: the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races. So, believing that a white person brings nothing to the table because they are white is indeed racism.

            IMHO, there are a lot of really racist liberals

      5. aw man, see this is why conservatives often denounce liberals as being intolerant. You make a racist statement and then declare that valid counterpoints and criticism is “flaming.”

        1. No, conservatives denounce liberals as intolerant because they are trying to distract from their actual, tangible actions and policies that harm women, LGBT people, and minorities. Because they put their “right” to be a bigot on the same level as someone else’s right not to be discriminated against. Ex: conservative: “I think that gay people shouldn’t be allowed to get married and that homosexuality is wrong. The social, economic, and political benefits of marriage should be denied to others based on their sexual orientation because I believe it’s wrong.” Liberal: “That’s discriminatory. Discrimination is unethical.” Conservative: “WHAAA I thought you were supposed to be TOLERANT! You’re not TOLERANT of my belief that homosexuality is wrong. You’re persecuting me for my beliefs. Hypocrite.”

      6. And this is why a lot of straight, white men over 40 voted for Trump. Their perception is that they are being bypassed because of their race and gender. I generally think that is more real than imagined, but statements like this certainly give them plenty of ammunition.

      1. No Klobuchar — I’d rather vote for Serena Meyer than her. Throwing things at staff is not OK IRL.

        1. Agreed. There is a difference between being a “tough but fair” boss and being an abusive sociopath. The stories about her make it seem like she’s the latter.

    3. I don’t know enough about Inslee to be excited yet, but I do know I would never automatically disqualify a candidate because of his or her skin color. I care about beliefs, policies, and record.

    5. I’m 100% on board with no more white men, but I’m also very excited about his climate change platform. I very much think that is THE most important issue we need to deal with. It’s way too early for me to have picked a candidate to support, but I am certainly happy he’s joined the race!

  10. I have been so, so burned out at work, which is ridiculous, because my work hours and load are completely reasonable, even short. I think I’ve figured it out, though. I think about work All. The. Time. On the way home from work, while cooking dinner, eating with my family, falling asleep. I wake up worrying about emails with my teeth clenched, and drive to work worrying about my clients. Mind you, I don’t WORK during these times. I just worry about work. So by the time I arrive at my desk, I am already exhausted and overwhelmed, and haven’t billed 6 minutes yet.

    How do I stop? Is meditation helpful? If so, any book or app recs to start? The idea sounds fruity and intimidating at the same time, but I’m willing to try.

    1. I listen to books on tape on my drive home to disconnect. Harry Potter is great for this. Meditation hasn’t worked for me but consciously telling myself “stop thinking about work” does, reading a novel before bed, and writing a list of what needs to get done first tomorrow before I leave the office.

      1. I second lists at the end of the day. I carry a bullet journal so that if I have a nagging worry that I’m afraid I’ll forget, I can jot it down. And I love podcasts/audio books. They really get me out of work mindset and into home mindset. And they give me something interesting to talk about besides, work work work.

    2. To me this sounds like anxiety. Meditation/mindfulness can help, but I’m going to echo the chorus of this s!te and suggest therapy.

      1. +1 – CBT helped me learn to “rearview mirror” thoughts I didn’t want to dwell on.

        1. +1 on Mindfulness + Meditation…

          Read Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nhat Hanh, Jon Kabat Zinn, Pema Chodron (All 4 are the best!)

    3. I can’t agree with therapy and meditation enough. This used to be me until a few years ago. My anxiety wasn’t crippling in the traditional sense. I was still super social and ambitious and outgoing at work. I just couldn’t sleep and completely fell apart in my off hours. I would wake up in the middle of the night worrying about clients. I would cry, have panic attacks, and was unable to enjoy my leisure time because I was worrying about clients. It seriously impacted my relationships with everyone I loved, even though I was well liked at work and frequently promoted. A couple years of therapy taught me how to let things go and cope with anxiety and stress when I feel them building. That and guided meditation has helped me control my brain and feelings rather than the other way around. Try some of Tara Brach’s short body scan meditations. They are free to download online. I listen to one with headphones right when I lay down to go to sleep while breathing deeply. I fall asleep faster than my husband now and sleep better than ever. Sorry for the novel, but these two things truly made my life so much better than I thought it could be. I can’t help evangelizing!

      1. making music would also work. Or combining a great TV show with something that keeps your hands busy.

    5. I’ve had this problem, too. One thing you could try is replacing your work thoughts with something more pleasant when the intrusive thoughts pop up. I’m cooking dinner and thoughts about my difficult boss come to mind? Time to start thinking about kayaking on a nearby lake. Prepare to feel hokey and unnatural for awhile, but it is a common redirection for anxiety sufferers!

    6. I tend to worry when I don’t want to forget to do something. It really helps me to write down every single thing I need to do for the next day before I leave. Including the most mundane things like “clean desk” or “set out of office reply” if I’m going to be gone. Or even, “start brainstorming for project x”. That way I’ve already set aside some space to think about those things and I don’t have to think about it at home. It isn’t completely full proof; I’ve definitely started thinking about work stuff if I wake up in the middle of the night, but it helps.

      And yes, agree with the suggestions to do something to take your mind off work. Podcasts, book on tape, etc on your drive home.

    7. Retraining the Brain, Dr. Frank Lawless at Stanford. His group did stress reduction sessions with us that were really helpful.

  11. I am very intrigued by people who get St. John on ebay / poshmark.

    If I wear a 4-6P jacket, what is my St. John size for jackets?

    Don’t have anyway to try on locally :(

    1. ThredUp probably has St. John pieces in that size range and they are returnable. You could order a few in different sizes, see what works, and return what doesn’t. I’ve done that with brands I was unfamiliar with just to see what to look for next time. Be aware, though, ThredUp does charge a small restocking fee (I think it’s $1.99 per item) for returns, and the return window is short. You also have to pay $8.99 if you want to refund back to your original form of payment and not store credit. ThredUp does provide measurements, though, so for me it’s easy to tell if something in my size is going to work or not, because I know my own measurements.

  12. Any ‘rettes have experience with jury trials in the Northern District of Georgia? I will be second chairing my first trial there next month, and could use some advice on the details of how to dress, beyond “conservative suit” – I live in the Northeast, have never appeared there before, and all of my colleagues/co-counsel on this case are men. Are pantsuits acceptable, or should I stick to skirts? Can I do a slightly tweedy suit, or stick to plain gray, black, and navy? Should I definitely wear heels? Would a dress with coordinating blazer be acceptable? My instinct is no, but I have seen that for motion hearings in other federal district courts in the South, and at jury trials on the West Coast. If it’s within the norm, it would be nice to have the option to mix and match, and thus pack lighter.

    A complicating factor is that I have tattoos on my ankles, which I will of course cover – my standard is full-length trousers, or a skirt with opaque tights. If nude-for-me tights are an absolute must, I can invest in some tattoo-covering makeup, but would prefer to avoid that.

    Any other general tips, for clothes and grooming, or otherwise? I’m both nervous and excited! Many thanks in advance.

    1. Not Georgia, but I had a trial in Miami a couple years ago, and I asked our jury consultant and local counsel, because I wasn’t sure if the rules were different from the Midwest. Everyone told me dress for federal court the same way I would anywhere else. I wore pantsuits in navy, charcoal, black, and navy pinstripe, with relatively conservative shells/blouses (black and white patterns, white, mint green, navy, etc.). I wore flats or low heels, black or tortoise-shell. I wore my hair in a low ponytail. The only other female attorney appearing for either side dressed similarly, although she wore some skirt suits as well and she didn’t wear a ponytail (because she had shorter hair). I personaly would not do tweed, but I would do a dress with a coordinating blazer (I wouldn’t actually, because I always do pantsuits in court as a matter of personal preference). I worried about this a lot since it was different geographically than my normal jury trials, but I don’t think the jury cared at all what I was wearing–which, I guess, is really the point.

    2. I am from NY and had a bench trial in the ND Ga. My general impression was that the dress skewed slightly more preppy/formal than federal court in the Northeast. I would stick to full suits if you have them, although a dress/ matching blazer wouldn’t be out of bounds if they fit you better. In my case, the local opposing counsel generally wore black skirt suits with black tights and neutral shells. I prefer pants suits for trial because I always end up bending and digging around in boxes and prefer to do so in pants. The biggest difference for me was trying to get over my NY mind-your-own-business attitude. People around the courthouse were much more open and chatty, so be ready to chit-chat with the marshals, the clerks, the stenographers, everyone. If you don’t, that’s how you’ll stand out more than if you wear tweed vs. navy, at least IME.

      1. The second part of your paragraph made me chuckle because it is so true! I’m in Texas now (and raised here) but spent time in Georgia and both regions are very friendly and chatty. I have to purposefully mind my own business in some settings because my impulse is to befriend anyone and everyone (even though I’m an introvert!)–which is partly just a personality trait I inherited from my mother.

        Sorry, OP, though, I’m not much help on the dressing matter because I’m not a litigator and haven’t worked as an attorney in Georgia for 10 years. Now I’m only in county court (w/out a jury) in a casual city, and have wide latitude for court-appropriate attire. Couple of small notes, though: I would definitely cover your ankle tattoos. If you don’t feel like messing with make-up, large band-aids work, too. And, if it’s not winter (less than 60ish degrees), opaque tights will be too hot and look out-of-place. I also see them as too casual for formal business dressing, but see caveats above.

        Good luck with your trial!

    3. Not a litigator but do practice in Atlanta and I think you would be find in a pantsuit, a skirt suit, or a suiting dress + jacket. I was voir dire’d for a murder trial in state court last year and both the prosecutor and defense counsel (both women) had on pantsuits. My sister in law is a family lawyer and she and her law partner appear in pantsuits all the time (including to argue in front of the state supreme court). In fact, her law partner is a big menswear style person and I’m pretty sure she frequently wears three-piece suits and super-sharp loafers to court. I know those are all state court examples, but I think you’ll be fine.

      I wouldn’t do tweed only because odds are it’s going to be fairly warm in Atlanta by late March and it’ll look unseasonable.

    4. Following, I have one coming up in Louisiana and I’m assuming the fashion suggestions are similar?

    5. I had a two week jury trial in the Middle District of Tennessee recently. Pantsuits are fine. Flats are fine. I would maybe not do the tweedy suit for the trial, but that is fine for any of the pre-trial stuff. Neutral makeup. If you want to ham it up for the jury, maybe get a string of pearls. Just do neutral suits and neutral shells. I wore:
      Grey pantsuit
      Navy pant/skirt/dress suit
      Black pant/skirt/suit
      Black blazer + grey dress
      Shells– Cream, Silver/grey, sky blue, black
      Black pointed toe flats (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01M8PLCMJ/ref=twister_B01MQ3RB21)
      I did wear panty hose and pearls most days.

      This was all at the same level of formality that the men were wearing and is generally the type of attire I would wear again in a jury trial. I did not really follow the lead of the other female attorney (Plaintiff’s counsel from CA) who wore leopard print heels and a maxi skirt suit. I actually did notice that she got a few looks from the female jurors…. so basically just don’t do that and you’ll be fine.

    6. A pantsuit is fine. I wore several during a jury trial in the NDGA about 10 years ago and it was fine. I also think a dress with a coordinating blazer would be fine. You’ll probably see more color here than you would in the Northeast and tweed would be fine in concept (but as cbacskson says, it could read colder weather). As it warms up, people will stop wearing opaque tights – they’re already on their way out for this season and it’s March 1. So you’re going to have more trouble covering up that tattoo in a skirt suit…

    7. Fed Ct litigator in NDGA. All of what you proposed will be fine, but as noted, opaque tights and tweed will likely appear out of season. The statement that we wear more color here is true, but under these circumstances not required. I would say there is a slightly different grooming expectation here in terms of hair and makeup. I’m not talking about big hair and multiple shades of eyeshadow, but you will want to wear a little makeup and be sure your hair has a little life to it and looks polished. No heels requirement, but I would stick to pointy-toed flats and pumps.
      (You may want to avoid wearing skinny heels in the aging parking lot!) And yes, the staff at the courthouse are very friendly and will chat with you on day one, even more so when you’ve been there multiple days. Also note that there is not a lot in immediate walking distance to the courthouse (like across the street). Plan to eat lunch in the cafeteria and then you’ll have to go a few blocks to get to a restaurant/bar. Best of luck!

      1. All this about the courthouse and the food desert around it are true for the courthouse in Atlanta. But maybe you’re in Rome, GA?

      2. Thanks, this is super helpful – we will be in the Atlanta courthouse. I will have my pearls on hand, and make sure to be ready to chat!

    8. I don’t have tattoos so feel free to tell me to Mind My Own Business but maybe just a bandaid on the ankle tattoo to cover it?
      Good luck!

  13. Just found out I’m pregnant after years of trying. So grateful to the support of this board through this challenging and painful process, and sending love and support and hope to those of you struggling with fertility and related issues.

    Hoping for more advise in this new phase. Due to my conception struggles and a family history of miscarriage, I’d like to keep my news private as long as possible. However, due to an unfortunate body type and too much wine, I perennially look about 5 months pregnant. Like regularly offered seats on the bus pregnant. Now that I’m actually pregnant, I’m more self-conscious of my belly, even though it has nothing to do with my pregnancy. Professional wear – sheath dresses and pencil skirts – just seems to emphasize my belly. Any suggestions for creative dressing?

    Second, what are your favorite/most helpful books about pregnancy? Any suggestions for books for dads?

    1. Pencil skirts (even maternity pencil skirts) plus drapey tops or simply nice blouses untucked were my go-to’s for early pregnancy. I wear a lot of scarves tied like ties or simply draped around my neck and down my chest – they add some lovely color and distract from a tummy.

    2. Congrats!

      This is a thing — fibroids run in my family, so I have the same belly issues (just no baby). I read that a woman in the UK got an emergency c-section after a car crash to save the baby but it was just massive fibroids.

      At any rate, I wear things the break up the line visually mid-pooch. Actual baby belly rides a little higher, but long swinging cardigans and tucked-out shirts are your friends. And you can get very gassy first trimester, which will magnify your shape. If you can wear stretchy pants, by all means do that. But longer jackets or knits with some shape/structure will help. And bright scarves to draw the eye up.

    3. Book rec – Expecting Better by Emily Oster. I don’t know anyone who didn’t enjoy this book and learn a ton. I found What To Expect When You’re Expecting to be an absolute waste. Also if you’re interested in nutrition info, I really liked Real Food For Pregnancy as well.

      1. I know you’ll always find a nay-sayer and sorry to be that person here, but I didn’t really enjoy Expecting Better. Started reading it during my first pregnancy and liked it fine, but then after losses & continued fertility issues, I no longer found it helpful given my perspective.

        1. +1. The point of Expecting Better is to make women feel better about taking risks and convince them the risks of drinking coffee, eating sushi, etc are small enough that it’s ok to take them. Most women I know with fertility struggles or a history of loss wanted to avoid risks as much as possible, and didn’t want to be convinced they could eat sushi. YMMV of course but I really think Expecting Better is aimed at women in first pregnancies who don’t have any complications or fertility struggles.

    4. You can keep your news as private as long as you like. Some people will probably suspect earlier than you’re ready to tell, but that’s fine. It’s usually the fuller face and fast-developing chest that give it away, rather than the belly, particularly if you’re not stick thin to begin with (although I really doubt you look 5 months pregnant normally). I didn’t tell work until 16 weeks (didn’t tell anyone other than my husband until the 14 week ultrasound and then wanted to wait until my next one-on-one with my boss), and a lot of people had figured it out but no one had said anything to me.

      Expecting Better is recommended here a lot, but I wasn’t a big fan of it. I liked the Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy – straightforward medical advice that is blunt without being overly fearmongering. I’d focus on having dad read about infant care rather than pregnancy.

      1. And for dad-suitable infant care, the two books that The Hubs actually read were Eat Sleep Poop and Hungry Monkey (more focused on food for kids, but still). Highly recommend.

    5. Congratulations! I struggled with infertility also (a number of years ago now) and I am so happy for you!
      I tried to keep my pregnancy under wraps until after our 20-week ultrasound and was mostly successful. Some people guessed and asked and some people guessed and didn’t say. Some people were clueless until I announced it. Loose dresses were a big help, as were maternity pants with a smooth elastic-waist top rather than a panel, paired with a looser non-button-down top and a scarf (echo the above advice that scarves are great for drawing attention away from the stomach area).
      I will also echo the Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy as it was factual but soothing about potential problems/issues. Back in my day (haha) the horrible fearmongering inaccurate version of What to Expect When You’re Expecting was still A Thing to give all pregnant women (the version I was given had a woman in a floral prairie dress sitting in a rocking chair on the cover, blech). I think there are copies of that still floating around out there; if you’re given one just put it in the paper recycling.

      1. Oh my god, that was the version my mom had…shudder. Although I always figured she was wearing Laura Ashley (because 80s).

    6. Congratulations!

      I found shift dresses and blazers to be pretty effective.

      I don’t think any one book is better than another. If you tend toward anxiety, I would just pick one book (you can ask your OB what s/he recommends), and use it for reference only, not cover-to-cover daily or weekly reading. Same with the taking-care-of-baby book. I got my husband some kind of pregnancy book that has sat on our shelf for five years without having been touched once, so no advice on that front.

    7. Congratulations!! Wonderful news!
      Flowy tops + a coffee cup (decaf if you want)… I stopped drinking caffeine and apparently that was a clue for some people :)

      I had Expecting Better and the Mayo Clinic book but found I just liked The Bump app more than either for fun.

      1. Do note that The Bump emails are basically impossible to unsubscribe from. I still get emails from them years later, despite making multiple unsubscribe requests. For me, it’s annoying but not painful, since I have a healthy toddler now. But a friend had a miscarriage and found it very painful when she could’t stop the daily Bump emails. I wish everything motherhood/pregnancy related was incredibly easy to unsubscribe from.

        1. Wait no actually I was thinking of BabyCenter. I shouldn’t have slandered The Bump. Don’t sign up for BabyCenter unless you want to get emails FOR LIFE.

    8. I had good luck hiding until well past 20 weeks (I’d had previous losses and wasn’t in the mood to share until I knew we were pretty far down the road) with A-line dresses or tulip skirt dresses (j.crew used to have several styles like this) and wearing a lot of blazers. Skinny pants + drapey shirt + blazer is really good at disguising the mid-section.

      1. Lol. Everyone knew. I mean, you can tell whenever you want to tell, it’s your body and your news to share as you want. But the idea that you successfully hid a 20 week pregnant belly by wearing blazers is absurd. If people acted surprised when you shared the news, they were being polite.

        1. Ok this is such a ridiculous comment and it happens every time. Honestly, I’ve had people tell me multiple times in the years since that they had no idea. Maybe I work with really daft individuals, but it was really a surprise when I told them. I’ll admit I was on the small side (even the ultrasound technician commented on that), so it helped.

          1. Yeah, no. Small people show earlier if anything. Celebrities are tall and thin and gorgeous and gain very little weight because they eat perfectly and work out consistently and they all still look obviously pregnant by the early-mid second trimester. I promise you, you’re not the unicorn, even if you think you are.

          2. She meant that the baby was measuring small, hence why she said maybe she wasn’t showing much.

        2. Honestly a lot of people don’t show early. I’m 17 weeks and still wear my regular jeans. Not all women have big bumps. I think early on a lot of it is just bloating, so when people have bumps early on it’s often not baby but, er, the result of constipation building up.

        3. This is unecessary. I have worked with women and have been surprised to find out they were 6 months pregnant. I have had three babies. I was obviously pregnant from 12 weeks on with #2 and #3, but it doesn’t mean other people can’t carry differently. Come on. Why is this so important to you that you need to be obnoxious?

          1. There’s a whole freaking show about people who don’t know they, themselves, are pregnant… how often do we have to rehash that different bodies are different and that your individual experience may vary from someone else’s. Period.

        4. Can we stop with these comments? First it’s not accurate, sure you may think that you’re some genius with pregnancy-radar but this is so not universal. I didn’t show until like 24 weeks. I worked with people who had seen me at 20ish weeks but then didn’t work with for the rest of pregnancy and later send me confused emails when I was out on maternity leave because they didn’t know I was pregnant. Second, how is this helpful even if true? Third, I really hope you don’t tell people this in real life. It’s incredibly rude to guess on someone’s pregnancy and even if they tell you later and you say “I knew it” you may be signaling to them that you also knew about their miscarriage they thought was private last year. So please just stop with this stuff

    9. If you’re trying to keep things private, I would actually recommending changing your wardrobe as little as possible.

    10. I have a tilted uterus and I have always had a baby belly. I looked more pregnant than I actually was at every stage and not long after birth someone asked me if I was pregnant again already. Other than pointing out that people should mind their own f&@$ing business, I agree with some of the advice above. Straight lines,pencil skirts, slim pants, untucked tops. Open jackets and cardigans that create vertical lines over the belly. No empire waists until you’re ready to show the world that you are indeed pregnant. Congratulations!

    11. I just wear roomy shirts– I think this is a plus of carrying weight in your belly… no one will suspect for as long as you’d like to hide it! (I got away w/ 7 months w/ #1 & 6 months w/ #2 (& would have gotten away w/ it longer but we travel for work a lot and people drink, so it was super obvious when I was trying to avoid alcohol)).

    12. Congratulations! Dusters were my friend – something about the length kept my belly from being too obvious. At least, when spring hit and I stopped wearing so many sweaters people I don’t work with directly kept telling me they didn’t realize I was pregnant (7months at that point). Sending all the good thoughts to you.

      1. We also had a really fun app which had about a paragraph each week on fetal development. (First weeks are crazy, e.g. “this week kidneys start to form”.) Mayo book and Expecting Better were more practical.

    13. I ordered a bunch of books when I found out I was pregnant (thanks ThriftBooks) and they were all pretty similar. The Mayo Clinic books is probably the best and that is what my husband read as well. Dad-oriented books seemed to be generally patronizing and awful, plus I figured there was no reason my husband couldn’t read the same books I was. Would also recommend getting a book about nursing and maybe Happiest Baby on the Block and a book on infant care. Real Food for Pregnancy was good but the author talks up noted quack Weston Price’s research in the beginning, so it made me concerned about how well she interprets research. I also enjoyed some of the reddit communities, babybumps and my particular month group (yours will be named something like month201Xbumpers). Some good info and lots of entertainment.

      1. My advice on books is to read at least one during pregnancy about what to do with baby after birth. Because you won’t have time afterwards. I really liked American Academy of Pediatrics first year book. It’s dry but factual, to the point, and alleviates 99% of concerns immediately. I was glad I read it during pregnancy because I knew where to look for info when questions arose. It was much faster than searching the internet and it’s misinformation and horror stories. I would also read about how to make your partner helpful to you (no books suggestions from me but maybe others?). I had an expectation that my husband would know what to do because he’s generally a helpful, empathetic person but he was almost useless on his own for the first three months and looked to me for direction on everything (and I may still resent him a little for it three years later).

        1. Lol. Same about husband. Bless him, he really did try. But I was as clueless as he was, so looking to me for direction was definitely not something my hormones was up to being gracious about.

    14. Congratulations! A lot of people have recommended the Mayo Clinic book, which I also found super helpful. My husband read The Expectant Father and liked it (and I skimmed it a bit and it seemed pretty good). It’s broken down by month so he read a month “ahead”so he could know what to expect over the next few weeks.

    15. Late to the party but yay congratulations!

      My mom got me a book called Mother Matters, which focuses on taking good care of yourself as you navigate the journey ofbecoming a mother. I’ve found it very sensible, comprehensive, and well organized.

      I will definitely get this book for anyone else in my life who gets pregnant!

  14. What are your tips for getting over heartbreak? My nearly 4 year relationship just ended abruptly. I wanted to make it work. I really thought we were in it for the long haul. I’m going to therapy and spending time with friends and family, but I’m still despondent. What helped you the most? I know the answer is really just time, but I have to do something with myself while I wait it out.

    1. I’m so sorry. Hugs from this internet stranger.

      I apologize if this sounds trite, but is there a new hobby you are interested in picking up or an old one that you can dust off and spend time doing? Books that you have been wanting to read but haven’t had time for? Trying new recipes? Learning an instrument? I find that filling my time with activities, even though it can be hard to get motivate, helps me focus on something else and makes me excited about a new thing.

      1. I spent a lot of time at the gym after my last breakup. I am NO athlete, not even a little bit! I took spin and Zumba classes and I was terrible at both, but the fun music (and having to laugh at myself for getting all the dance steps wrong) as well as the endorphins really brightened my spirits, as did knowing that I was doing something good for my health. If you find a type of exercise you enjoy (or at least, tolerate), maybe that’s worth a shot? Or a new art or cooking class you’ve been meaning to take? I personally avoided alcohol during that time (weird, I know) because I thought it might be best to allow myself to really feel whatever I was feeling in order to process and get over it, but YMMV. Since I was putting my focus on my workouts, alcohol didn’t really appeal to me much, as I had something healthy and positive to focus on. The only way out is through, but you’ve got this!

      2. Hugs.

        I second all of this. It just takes time, and the best way to pass that time is by filling it with something relatively enjoyable and productive. (Maybe you and Irish Midori should take up rock climbing together.)

        Well, that and movies like Legally Blonde, wherein the heroine gets her heart put through a grinder, then ends up (through normal ways that would actually happen in real life) meeting someone far better.

        1. Adding a thought:

          Let me say this as someone who dated for 17 years before meeting her husband: the mark of someone’s character is how they treat another person at the end of a relationship.

          I dated someone for four years and was the one to end it. Said ending was not abrupt: we were in our thirties and I didn’t want to date forever. Over the course of many months, we talked a lot about the problems in our relationship and whether we would get married. Although I initiated the actual break-up, it was still a mutual decision, if that makes sense.

          I’ve also been chucked out of nowhere, cheated on, etc., by a slew of men, and it took many years to realise that they did that because of who they are, and I treat men as well as possible at the end because of who I am.

          There will come a point in time when you will understand that someone who abruptly ends a four year relationship has a pile of issues, and you may have dodged a bullet.

          1. Thank you very much for this comment. I have been feeling overly dramatic, but honestly, being dropped like a hot potato just plain hurts. This helps me put my emotions into context.

          2. +1 A friend was blind-sided when her husband ended their 7 year marriage. He’s now on wife #3, at the age of 41.

    2. I am so sorry. I had this experience two years ago and I still remember the heartache. Hugs.

      I would second the recommendation to keep busy. In my case that meant largely staying out of the house for the first few weeks, even if I was just watching TV at someone else’s house on a random Tuesday or Wednesday night.

      Working out aggressively also eased the pain–partly because it was a time suck and partly because the endorphins really do make you feel at least a bit better. (Fair warning, though, that I found myself close to tears or in tears near the end of group workout classes–something about the release brought emotions to the surface. I think getting it out (the tears) would’ve been good for me, minus the embarrassment factor of crying in a workout class.)

      If you have a therapist, schedule some extra appointments. If you don’t have one but have a propensity for or history of mental illness, get one.

      Finally, I took up knitting about six months after my break up. It kept my hands busy at night with something other than wine, food, or In*tagram stalking and gave my brain just enough to focus on. As a bonus, it’s fairly cheap to get started. If you go this route, I’d encourage you to find a local shop–the shopkeepers are great resources for troubleshooting!

    3. Movement, in whatever form works for you. Dancing, yoga, running, whatever. When I had a terrible breakup I would take the bus or the subway about 6 miles away and then walk home. It felt more purposeful – I had a direction to go – but also gave me fresh air and something to do for a couple of hours.

    4. Honestly, it sounds cliche, but passage of time really helps, even though it feels like the hard time will never end.

    5. I’m sorry. I recommend something hard, physical, and concrete. Dig and plant a garden. Build something. Take a krav maga class. Bake bread that requires a lot of kneading. Volunteer with Habitat for Humanity. Paint your house. Go to a political protest and yell at politicians.

    6. I am so, so sorry. I’ve been in your shoes, and I know how awful it feels.

      Do you have some vacation time you can take? Maybe plan a solo trip to a place you have always wanted to go or go visit a friend who lives far away. When my last serious relationship crashed and burned I visited my best friend who lived across the country from me. It was some of the best therapy I could have ever gotten. Sometimes just getting away from where you are for a little bit helps you to come back with a new perspective and a new attitude about things.

    7. Ugh, so sorry.
      – hobby that requires full attention (rock-climbing was mentioned above; sailing lessons or yoga fit this for me)
      – a new crush even if silly and clearly not relationship material… maybe it’s terrible non-feminist advice, but I found that getting excited and butterflies about someone else (even if just thinking about or flirting) helped me get over relationships quickly. And then those crushes didn’t last long but did the job.

    8. When my relationship ended abruptly and angrily, here is what helped me:

      Spending a lot of time with my dog (he’s so happy and unconditionally loving and thinks I’m the best! I need some of that kind of love. If you don’t have a pet, a friend’s pet, volunteer to walk dogs at the shelter!)
      Yoga, let me turn my brain off, sweat a lot, feel community with other people in class without having to talk
      Lifting weights at the gym late on weeknights (blasting pop/Top 40 music or binge listening to true crime podcasts, let me turn my brain off)
      Giving money to charity (made me feel useful and charitable, esp when I was having really uncharitable thoughts and anger at my ex)
      Sleep a lot, drink a ton of water, avoid alcohol alone
      Talked to women older than me who had been through divorces and kids, if they can handle it, surely I can handle a breakup with a 5 yr relationship, other people have split up jointly owned property before, I can do this.
      I didn’t have luck trying *new* things like new hobbies or new recipes. I actually thought it was better for me to sink into old favorites, maybe things you didn’t get to do as much because of the relationship? recipies or takeout that you liked and he didn’t, yoga and gym I was practiced already but could do more because I had more free time

    9. *hugs and commiseration*, I just also recently went through a breakup (posted it here a couple months ago actually!)

      What I found most helpful was physically getting away from home and being with friends/family or somewhere that I had never been with anyone else. So that meant driving 3-4 hours to visit an out-of-state friend, or jumping at the chance to do an out-of-state work project and tack on a personal day, or planning a trip I’ve wanted to do for years but wasn’t able to because of family/relationship obligations. Physically being in a different place helped me think that 1) I could survive this and be happy that the sun was shining *somewhere* and 2) that eventually, I will see that life isn’t over yet and I can be happy again by myself or with someone else.

      Other things that helped – watched the Great British Baking Show on Netflix; exercise, like everyone else has said; yoga and meditation; and contemplating ancient Chinese philosophy (this will out me if my friends are here but whatever) about resilience and just letting things *be* instead of thinking about what I could have done differently in the relationship.

      I am so so sorry, and honestly, if you are getting up each day, getting dressed, and going to work, you are doing well. The first few weeks or months are the most excruciating, and there is no way around it (short of drinking yourself into a stupor but I do not recommend this).

    10. This happened to me. I cried for days. Four months later I met my husband and have been happily married for many years. Your person is out there and now you are free to find him.

    11. When my marriage broke up I kept telling myself two things: “The only way out is through,” and “This time next year things will be much better.”

      And both those things turned out to be true.

      Hugs to you!

    12. First off, big internet hugs. Breakups suck. There’s no way around it. For me personally, I found the best thing was to stay busy. Getting into hobbies that require focus was great. Also, forcing myself to say yes to social events even when I didn’t want to helped.

      1. Thank you all so much for your kind words and suggestions. Hearing from others who have been through it is so very helpful and calming.

        1. A couple other things I want to add:
          – I kinda agree with the poster who mentioned a new crush. For me, the timing worked out that I went to a party a month or two after the breakup and I met a cute guy there. I have no intention on following up on said cute guy even though I saw his profile on Hinge a week later after the party, but it was good for my brain to wonder about what ifs with a different person for a couple weeks.

          – A rough idea of when you’ll be over the breakup is probably at least 6-7 months. I corresponded with a friend of a friend about our recent breakups, and KNOWING that the pain wouldn’t last forever really helped me get a move on with my life.

          And finally, Heartbreak OP, the ‘rette Hive is here for you when you need it :)

    13. This also happened to me–dumped abruptly (at the end of a trip together that I paid for). To say I was crushed was an understatement.

      Big hugs. You will get through this. Time does help heal the wound. Other things that helped me were working out (I kickbox and believe me, I never hit the bag so hard as during that time); quality time with good friends, spending time in nature, and (let’s be honest here) several times when I just gave myself permission to grieve as loudly and tearily as I wished. I lived alone at the time so loud crying jags were OK, but otherwise go to a beach or something where the sound of the waves will drown you out and be calming.

      Five years on, I can honestly say that I’m SO happy that happened, because I ended up finding the love of my life (through a Twitter retweet, of all things) and can now clearly see all the ways in which that prior relationship was so very wrong for me.

      You will get through this. I promise! We are here to support you if you need it!

    14. Lots of hugs from this internet stranger. What helps me get over a broken heart is focusing on all the things I couldn’t do in a relationship. There’s always something that you’ve censored or let go, whether it’s trying new restaurants, talking over movies, singing along to the radio, etc. It helps remind myself that I’m awesome and I love my own company.

      Other than that, I second what everyone else said about an absorbing hobby (I started beginner adult ballet lessons and love it), getting out of the house, and taking care of yourself. I didn’t have a pet during my last breakup, but my dog helps me through difficult or stressful situations because she’s always there for me, is overjoyed to see me, and is up for anything.

      You truly are better off without this person. It’s just tough for a while. You’re an amazing and beautiful person who deserves the best. I’m rooting for you.

  15. Okay, hive. Maxi dresses: in style or out of style? I keep seeing them show up in different shopping websites but don’t know that I’ve seen anyone wearing them in real life recently (winter notwithstanding).

    1. Out. At long last! (Can you tell I’m a “tall” who vastly prefers midi length?)

    2. I always think of maxi dresses as more of a summer thing. I can’t wear them because I’m very (VERY!) short and they make me look like I’m channeling Scarlett O’Hara and wearing the living room drapes. I don’t see too many wearing them, either. I think they’re a bit of a hard look to pull off.

    3. I have a couple great ones hanging in my closet, but I didn’t wear them at all last summer and only marginally the summer before.

    4. I only wear them on super hot days (like over 80F), but they are great so I hope they’re not out of style. They feel like wearing PJs during the day.

    7. The sleeveless jersey casual maxis with an empire waist and a full skirt are out. More dressy styles in silk or silky fabrics, especially with details like sleeves or a wrap front, are still in for wedding guests. For casual wear, I am seeing knit midi or maxi-length dresses with straight or narrow skirts.

    8. I’m not sure why people are saying they are out. Are jeans out too? Seems like they are a staple provided you like them and they are a good fit. Maybe it’s because I live in the south.

      1. They’re not a staple. They were a trend for a few recent years, just like they were in the late 60s early 70s era.

        1. I live at the beach in the south and they are definitely a staple here. And not as a beach coverup.

    10. I think it depends. Cotton jersey maxi dresses are definitely out. People are still wearing nicer maxi length dresses, especially those prairieish dresses or sleeveless ones with nice prints. I wouldn’t expect people to wear them in winter unless they live on a tropical island or something.

    11. I never see them in winter. I have two that I still include in my warm-weather vacation wardrobe, but rarely wear them around the city — if it’s hot enough to wear them because the strappy top is appropriate, it’s too hot to wear them thanks to the skirt, KWIM? — and they’re a PITA for dealing with stairs.

      1. I agree that they scream vacation to me. I’d take them on a beach vacation but rarely wear them in warm weather at home.

      2. I wore a floral print one to a garden show, and it was perfect. I’ve not found too many other occasions to wear it for, though. Guess I need to take a vacation. :-)

    12. Pry them out of my cold, dead hands! I hate pants and I prefer more coverage. Having said that, there are always going to be styles that are more in, like prairie dresses right now and some that are out like the empire waisted jersey ones. A full length slip dress in a 90sish print would look very now.

  16. I know this has been discussed before, but what systems have you found to keep track of billable hours? I keep trying to train myself to track my hours in a spreadsheet each day and input it into our billing software on Friday afternoons, but that’s just not working for me and now I’m so behind on entering my time. (I’m at a small firm and this isn’t something a staff person can do for me.)

    1. This is pretty low-tech, but I’ve gotten in the habit of writing down what I’m doing on a notepad I keep right next to my monitor on my desk (I start with a to-do list and then add the random popup things to it as they arise). As soon as I finish, I cross that off my list (or add it to my follow up column) and write down the time spent on it. Works better for transnational things I would think, which can often be a lot of little things, but I don’t know how well it would work for a long brief or something that you come back to repeated times. I used to be bad about inputting that data into our timekeeping software (once a week and sometimes up to two), but now I’m trying to do it every day ideally and no more than 3 days. Anymore than that and it takes me like an hour to catch it all up (and I think things get missed or forgotten).

      1. I do this too (without a to-do list, usually). I have a notebook by my desk, and every time I switch (which is a lot, because I am a transactional specialist), I write down the time (3:10) and the amount of time since the last time (e.g., .4) next to the client’s name. It’s very messy (there are numbers and words all over the page), but as long as I can read it, it works. I input my time on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, so if I miss a day it’s not a crisis. If I’m working remotely, I have an email open, and I do the same thing.

        1. I’m late to this thread, I hope you come back and check. I do something very similar. I use a 5×8 spiral notebook – I used to use a legal pad and then kept mislaying the one with my time notes, leading to panic at the end of the month when days were missing. It’s easy to keep track of and portable so I can use it when I’m out in all-day meetings, working at home, whatever; I’ve used a moleskin but mostly I like ones with beautiful covers just because they make me happy to use.

          I use a separate page for each day and write the start and end time for each task, with the time spent away from a task for another matter like a phone call or other interruption, or for something nonbillable, indented below the main entry. E.g.:

          9:00-12:45, Client A/Matter 1, Research for MSJ
          – less 15, Client B TC on Matter 1
          – less 10 [a personal call, chatting with my partner, fooling around on this s*te, whatever]
          – less 15, corresp. w/Client C re matter 2

          (I use more shorthand than this, and it gets pretty scribbly; it would be hard for someone else to follow it and reconstruct.) So, when I get around to entering my time, I do the math and know that I had 3.1 hours on client A/matter 1, .3 on Client B’s matter and .3 on Client C.

          Some days I might have as many as 12-15 different matters to enter time on; this system lets me keep it straight. But if I am not absolutely religious about entering everything as I go, which does happen sometimes, I’m lost (and we lose money).

      1. I think the problem is that I’m often working on something, then will stop doing that to answer an email about another case, get distracted by a phone call about a third matter, etc., and it just feels hard to keep contemporaneous track of all that in the software, or to keep updating the excel sheet with .1’s here and there. And then by Fridays I’m exhausted and entering a week’s worth of time feels like a burden. I agree with the person below that I probably just need to suck it up and make it work.

        1. I’ll also add to my advice below because I’m totally you with the exhausting .1s and .2s – oy!

          when I’m in the exact position you described (on the phone, sending quick emails bla bla bla) I will go to my excel sheet (basically always open and ALWAYS saving itself) and only enter in:
          Case Name, A&L codes, and the .1 or .2
          that way at the very least, you know, oh – I know that I 106ed re: the 240 Motion. then you can backfill the description later, maybe a few minutes later, maybe a few hours later. I do find it crucial to get descriptions in within 24 hours, or else I forget and it’s time lost.

          you can do this! as you well know, billing is such a crucial skill for litigation and even more so in small law firms where capturing that money makes your bosses really happy. My only hope (as a 3rd yr assoc) is that even if I end up a mediocre, middle of the road lawyer, at least I can be happy with my billing skills :)

        2. When I was in a time billing environment I found pen and paper much easier to maintain than anything electronic. I had a small notebook and would draw columns for time, client, project/notes and periodically write the time in the time column and fill in the notes with what I had been working on since the last time I wrote in it (I.e start at 8am, do some work, maybe 10:45 I wrap up and write the time and “xyz memo” “abc client” but also add a note that I spent ~15 min on a call with “def client”). Sometimes I’d be real busy and it would be several hours and the notes would encompass multiple activities but it at least broke down the windows of time I need to allocate and I got better at doing it life frequently with practice.

          Writing felt less disruptive to my overall workflow than having to use a specific program that had to be opened and typed into on the computer. It did add some manual calculation time into my end of week time entry but it was so easy to make notes on the fly as I was working it seemed much more accurate.

          1. I used to record my time this way and thought it worked very well for me. So far this year, I have been experimenting with using an Excel sheet. I don’t know if it helps, but I usually do “Start Time” in one column and “End Time” in another column and then have a formula to calculate the time in a third column. It’s been pretty painless so far for me, even though there are days I don’t want to do it. I’m in a small firm where a staff person takes care of entering our time into the firm’s accounting software, so that helps. Previously, I worked in a large firm where my assistant did all of my time entry. Beyond that, I think you just have to build the habit of keeping your time daily (or weekly, if that works for you).

    3. is the billing software enough of a burden that you can’t contemporaneously enter time to skip over the Excel part? It’s really the only way to make this happen.
      I also use an excel sheet – except my assistant enters the time into software (which is a godsend because TimeSlips SUCKS!). If you’re okay with spending your non-billable time on Fridays entering the time, then I think you should really try to make your current system work.

    4. I was surprised at the resistance to timers in the recent thread about this so I’ll add an endorsement here. If your software has timers, spend some time playing around to make sure you’re taking advantage of the features that streamline it—our software has options to reset timers so they are always prepopulated with your current matters and to have them all stacked together at the side of your desktop, but it’s not immediately apparent. It doesn’t take long to develop an automatic response to switching timers as soon as your phone rings/someone walks in/you start to answer an email. Once you’re in the habit, it’s a breeze, even with 10+ timers a day.

    5. I don’t use the software for the same reasons. I use a pad of pre-printed paper that has the hours and half hours and lines in between – I can just jot down the start time and draw a line when it stops and jot down a “.1 – client name” in the middle if I get pulled off onto something else. Takes a little more time at the end to summarize and put in an email to my secretary or the software, but it’s the best method I’ve found.

    6. I use the free software Manic Time that tracks what I do all day. I try to contemporaneously tag my time on there but if I miss it, it is easy to recreate since it is tracking what I do. I then just copy the totals into my billing system.

    7. I mark my start times on a tablet on my desk. Then, I bill each matter immediately in my billing software and strike off the old start time as I am writing a new start time for the next matter matter. If I get interrupted by an appointment, phone call, other interruption mid-matter, I bump back the start time accordingly. (Ex. Start Matter 0001 at 11:12. End matter 0001 at 11:54 with a 10 minute phone call on Matter 0002. I will have billed 0.2 to Matter 0002 when the phone call ended, and I enter 0.4 for Matter 0001.) Sometimes I will leave descriptions for the end of the day. I don’t leave the office until my time is billed, unless I am running late for something else. In that case, I do my billing first thing the next morning. Once you get into the habit of it, it’s easy, and I’ve been doing it for years.

      If you don’t want to use the billing software, a shareholder in my office keeps time on a task list daily and dictates it to his assistant one or two times a day.

      I think the most important thing is consistency. When you find what works best for you, make it a habit and be strict about following your system every.single.day.

      1. +1 to consistency. I used to have real trouble with capturing my time and would be up till the wee hours of the night on the last day of the month recreating it. For me, I have to enter it as soon as it’s done. If I work more on the task later in the day, I edit the entry and time accordingly. Now my habit is just task, time entry; task, time entry. If I get more than a couple behind, I have to stop and enter it.

    8. I have had the same system for many years, which I learned in my first private firm clerkship:

      I have a stack of pre-printed sheets with me that have the day broken down into tenths of an hour from 7 to 7. The day runs in two columns from 7 to 12:54 and then 1 to 6:54. The pages do not list a.m. or p.m. because sometimes I start early or end late, KWIM?

      As I do every task – and I mean every one, billable or not (including billing, time, CLE, marketing, restroom/taking a break on here (generally listed as “Desk”)) – I write down what I did on what matter. I save space by using abbreviations and initials. I have plenty of arrows that pull tasks down from one place to another (e.g. .6 in the morning on a research topic and then .7 in the afternoon). I make “bumps” around those interrupting items as I progress on the task I was doing before the interruptions.

      If I get a new matter, I note the matter number it on the page right away (I end plenty of discussions with my colleagues with “What matter do you want me to bill this to, or is this a client freebie?”). My assistant maintains a spreadsheet with all of my open matters on it and it gets updated at the end of each month.

      When I have to do time, I am able to sit down and read down the day, for example, “Smith file, matter 12345-6, 1.3, Research on venue for combined declaratory judgment and breach of contract action”. I dictate to an app or, if my assistant is out, I am able to enter my time into our system that way as well, so that may work better for you.

      Super low-tech, but it works for me. Whenever I run into questions from my office manager (or, back when, from my partners), I am able to look at my sheets (which I keep in paper and recently started periodically scanning) I have contemporaneous time records so there is no question what I was doing. I also run my to do list down the right side of the page each day and I list phone messages to return on the back of each day’s page.

      The only downside is if you lose a page. Don’t do that!

    9. Very interesting replies, and I have some new ideas to try. But take heart, OP. Time tracking is hard for every single human I have ever spoken to about it. It’s a learned skill. It’s a huge PITA, but it CAN be learned. It probably took me a year to get even marginally adequate at it, and I’m still getting better after 10 years of practice. I finally did suck it up and get used to using timers when my firm got some half-way decent software that has a visual time tracking feature that let you see gabs in your day. (Sounds like Ms B has a great low-tech solution that does this, though.) I won’t add to the good suggestions here, but offer some encouragement. Keep at it. You will get better eventually!

  17. Hi! I have a friend who is having a hysterectomy next week (after 2 months of chemo). I would like to create a care package for her post-op. If you’ve been through this, did you receive any thoughtful gifts? Or do you wish you had received a specific something? (My friend is avoiding sugar due to cancer, so sweet treats are out.) I would greatly value your insights!

    1. Food-delivery gift cards are always my first-thought for people in recovery. Let’s them pick what they feel like having on a given day, is a little indulgent, and doesn’t require much moving (or any, if they have someone else to get the door).

    2. I sent a friend a half-dozen brain candy magazines that she would never otherwise read (People, Allure, Town & Country, etc) and she said it was a nice distraction.

    3. Not specific to hysterectomy but as a general surgery care package idea, what about one of those ladders or attachable rails to make sitting up and getting in and out of bed easier during recovery? And maybe a bed tray?

    4. Not quite a care package, but see if you can arrange for someone to clean her place if she’d like that. That’s the thing I always set up for myself when I’m in the hospital (surgery in 3 weeks!).

    5. The hospital may give her one, but after a hysterectomy patients usually need a small pillow to hold against their abdomen when they do things like cough, sneeze, or get up until things start to settle. Other things that may be nice are snacks she can keep near her bed and books or something to do.

      1. That made such a huge difference to me after my c-section. Some kind of compression band may help as well.

  18. What are the next Tory Burch Miller sandals? I never bought them and now they just seem overdone. I’m looking for a nice flip flop type of sandal. I really dislike Jack Rogers. Any other suggestions?

    3. What about Stuart Weitzman. They have some modern styles, for when you aren’t feeling BoHo.

    1. You really need to know what the lining is made of. If it’s acetate, forget it, the lining will shrink and pucker.

      f it’s all poly spandex including the lining, I think it would be ok to truly handwash it. It might pill if washed in a machine, but otherwise it should be ok.

    2. That link shows it as Dry Clean and not Dry Clean Only, so I personally would do the hand wash cycle with gentle detergent.

    4. I routinely wash mine inside out, cold water. Line dry, but it has survived the dryer as well. Go forth!

      1. Have never been. Merely stopping there on the way to Italy as it cut my flight cost in half. So no real expectations. Not trying to cram in every tourist stop in that time, maybe just one or two must sees and then maybe a nice dinner or show?

    2. Have you been there before?
      Yes: Columbia Road market or Chelsea flower show with good weather. Rainy day? Book in advance for 20 Fenchurch Street.
      No: British museum, both Tates, Notting hill, Gordons wine bar, Neils Yard, Covent Garden, fish&chips (Poppies), Bankside, Natural History museum, Hyde Park, the view from the Shard.

    3. Churchill War Rooms
      Borough Market
      Jewelry collection at the Victoria & Albert Museum

    4. I loved the Tower of London tour. Super fun, and a definite London first-time-visit great. Churchill War Rooms if you like WWII history. We loved the walk from Buckingham Palace through St James part to get to the War Rooms. Stop by a fancy store like Harrods or Fortnum and Mason to buy tea (even if you don’t do the full afternoon tea).

    5. Are you flying to Heathrow? Pre-book tickets on the Heathrow express for a good deal (90 days advance is the best).
      No matter which airport, get an Oyster card for getting around – can be used on buses, underground, ferry (if you’re seeing both Tate Britain and Modern, e.g.) and overground trains. If you’re flying in to Gatwick, you can use Oyster for both the Gatwick express and for Southern trains.

      As for what to see on a first time visit, I would walk around a lot.

      I would visit a park (Holland Park, St. James park and Regent’s park will both be fairly easy to get to and close to other interesting things.) There will be lots of lovely flowers in may, and probably roses in Regent’s park.

      I would visit Tate Modern and take the elevator to the viewing floor, you can see the whole of London.

      I would pre-book tickets to see one of the major exhibitions, e.g. the Sorolla exhibtion at the National Gallery, the Renaissance nudes at the Royal Academy, the Van Gogh in Tate Britain or the Dior exhibition at the Victoria and Albert. If you’d prefer a free exhibition the National Gallery’s permanent exhibition is very lovely, as well as the nearby smaller National Portrait Gallery (fantastic portraits of Elizabeth I, e.g.).

      I would visit a pub, sit on the top-floor of a two-decker bus, and have tea. I would cross the Thames on foot (e.g. the footbridge between St Paul’s and Tate Modern or Westminster Bridge. Beware of pickpockets around Westminster bridge especially, lots of tourist clumping together to take pictures of Big Ben.)

      If you like churches, I would consider St Paul’s or Westminster.

      In nice weather, it’s a nice walk by the Thames from Southwark cathedral to Waterloo or Westminster bridge.

      I would avoid: Leicester square. Nothing too see except tourists. : )

      You can book dinner reservations through Open table.

      Excellent source of what’s going on: the Londonist webpage and newsletter.

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