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Holiday Weekend Open Thread

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pink book cover titled Love on the Brain; it shows a woman with purple hair being carried by a man wearing a black t-shirt;there are books and a science-y object in the background (Jupiter, probably?)

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Cheers to everyone who made it to Friday – woo hoo! May everyone have an amazing holiday, and I hope snow doesn't affect anyone's travels too much.

If you're looking for a fun, light read in the rom-com genre, I highly recommend all of Ali Hazelwood books. Her latest, Love on the Brain, is laugh out loud funny. The heroine is a career-focused neuroscientist (with purple hair, of course), who has to work with an old enemy from grad school when she is asked by NASA to lead a neuroengineering project. (She's also a staunch feminist who has a secret Twitter account named “What would Marie Curie do?,” where she answers questions from STEM women who are facing discrimination and general patriarchal garbage.)

Spoiler alert: the old grad school enemy is tall and handsome… and there may have been some misunderstandings.

There's lots of snappy dialogue, feminism, neuroscience, and a bit of espionage also — it was really fun and I highly recommend. (One of my favorites of the year, for sure.)

The author has a Ph.D. in neuroscience, and is apparently a professor; she's lived in Italy, Germany, Japan, and the U.S. She writes under a pseudonym.

Psst: stay tuned next week when we look at some of our favorite Corporette content from the past year!

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

160 Comments

    1. Profiteroles! Making the choux is not hard and the only part that could go wrong. After that it’s ice cream and melted chocolate….

    2. Here you go. Don’t forget to dim the lights before you flame it:

      1 1-lb can (2 cups) pitted dark sweet cherries (lately I’ve found them in glass jars instead of cans — or you can just substitute premade cherry pie filling for the first three ingredients)
      1/4 cup sugar
      2 tbsp cornstarch
      1/2 cup brandy, kirsch, or cherry brandy
      Vanilla ice cream

      Drain cherries, reserving syrup. Add water to syrup to make one cup.

      In saucepan, blend sugar and cornstarch; gradually add cherry syrup, mixing well. Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture thickens and bubbles. Remove from heat, stir in cherries.

      Turn into silver or heat-proof bowl. Heeat brandy. Ignite the brandy and pour or ladle over cherry mixture. Blend into sauce and serve immediately over ice cream. Room should be darkened for most effective serving.

      Makes 2 cups.

      1. I concur on Ghirardelli brownie mix.
        Sally’s Baking Addiction lemon bars are how I’m using up a ton of citrus that had to be picked due to the cold. They’re pleasantly easy, too.

      3. Different strokes for different folks, but to me, it’s still a boxed brownie and doesn’t hold a candle to a good, homemade brownie like Silver Palate or Barefoot Contessa.

        1. I think it depends on how you like your brownies for sure. But I find homemade recipes too dry for the most part.

          1. Whoa! If you find the Silver Palate brownie to be dry, you are significantly overbaking it. It’s a very moist, fudge-y brownie, not a cake-y brownie at all.

          2. I haven’t tried that recipe specifically, but I’ve tried at least half a dozen popular recipes myself and had countless more baked by other people who are competent bakers. I don’t like any of them as much Ghirardelli. Shrug. To each their own.

        3. Ha! Exactly the opposite, I’ve never had a homemade brownie nearly as good as a box mix brownie!

    5. New York Times Cranberry Curd Tart, but with sugarsnap or graham cracker crust.

    6. The baker’s one bowl brownie mix recipe on the label of Baker’s unsweetened chocolate is dead easy and a hit every time. To make it holiday you can skip the nuts and throw some crushed candy canes on top as it comes out of the oven. Press them lightly into the top and they will adhere.

      Everyone loves brownies!

    8. Casual but delish: hot fudge brownie sundaes, but with–peppermint ice cream. Jeni’s white chocolate peppermint if you can get it. I don’t much like brownies or ice cream or peppermint, but all together? Yes, please.

      1. Yes! My in-laws got me started on peppermint ice cream at christmas and it’s soooo good!

    9. Trifle. You can make any one of a thousand variations, and use all store-bought ingredients and it will always look impressive.

      3. Agree. Buy a good pound cake and make your own custard and and whip cream. Mix of sliced strawberries and raspberries with a little sugar. Toast some sliced almonds for the top. Layer in a glass bowl. So delicious!

  2. What are your New Years’ resolutions?

    Mine are:

    1) Get sleep and stress scores consistently in the 90s on Fitbit
    2) Run 3 miles a day + do some combo of yoga and barre
    3) Stop getting takeout / eat healthy meals at home
    4) Get a consistent work from home schedule – i.e., start work at 8 every day even at home
    5) Meditate 20 minutes a day

    1. Walk daily.
      Work out regularly.
      Work up to 10 real pushups.
      Connect.
      Read more.
      Bake more.
      Knit a sweater I’m actually willing to wear in public.

      1. Aww, I’m sorry for your loss. I adopted a rescue pup in 2021 and he is the light of our lives. I hope you will consider rescuing!

        1. Our dog was an amazing rescue and we will definitely rescue again. Rescue dogs are the best!

        2. We have a rescue but I don’t begrudge anyone going to a breeder. There’s a lot of good reasons to do that too.

          1. If you had any idea just what the shelter situation is like now that so many of the Covid dogs were given away with return to office you would be singing another tune.

          3. It’s a death sentence for an animal that shouldn’t have to die. Literally any kind of animal you would want is available right now. It also keeps demand for a business that will then contribute to others dying. Sorry, but there is no good reason for that. None. We can do better.

      2. For those who might be considering adding a dog or cat, the shelters are overflowing, to the point that formerly no-kill shelters have reversed position. There are so many great, great animals waiting.

        1. I own rescue dogs and always have, but I think part of the problem is of the shelters’ own making. The hoops you have to jump through to adopt a shelter pet have really increased in the last 10-15 years, to the point that you need half a dozen references and home visits and things like that at many shelters. I get that they don’t want to adopt an animal to someone whose going to abandon it again, but at the end of the day it’s a dog or cat, not a child, and I think some of these super strict vetting policies are doing more harm than good.
          As another example, I was on vacation (within the continental US) a few months ago and I found a stray dog and I wanted to adopt it and bring it home and I was wiling to drive back to that location and get it, but the shelter wouldn’t let me start the paperwork over the phone, or even hold the dog for me for one day until I could get there. They said all I could do was show up in person and hope it was still there and adoptable, so I didn’t go. I later found out the dog was euthanized. It was devastating and completely avoidable.

    4. Stop using Instagram, or at least the app on my phone that sucks me in. I can handle the desktop version.

    5. Genuinely curious – can you really run every single day? Or is a resolution more of a ‘most days’ kind of thing?

      1. Yes, why not? You need to work up to it to avoid injury, but I find it’s easier to keep up the routine of running if I run every day.

      3. My husband is a serious runner (50-75 miles per week) and he says a rest day is important so he only runs six days a week. But maybe it’s less important if you’re only running a mile or two each day, I dunno.

    6. I’m planning to redo my home office and add a coffee bar to the kitchen in the new year.
      I also bought the financial inserts for my Filofax so I will always have them on hand and can update them in real time.

    7. get at least one month where i hit my daily activity targets on my fitness tracker every day (i don’t even have them set very high)

    8. This list is a recipe for failure. Way too strict and inflexible for 99.9% of people (and if
      You have to make these as resolutions they’re already too strict for you, too!)

      2. Completely agree. This lists reads like every other list from resolution makers I know in real life…that they start to abandon by the second week of January because it is so strict and inflexible. But, they make that list every year-end because THIS new year will be the year they do the things. (it’s a sad cycle, really, especially when the same things go on their list year after year)

    9. Health:
      – continue working out 5x / week, even if it’s just 15 minutes. I’ve become much more consistent over the last two months and want to solidify the habit before I get more ambitious, hence the 15 minutes bit.
      – every month adopt a new habit to cut out a processed food. In January it will be making my own trail mix to eliminate granola bars.

      Work: no chores / cleaning on WFH days so they are more efficient.

      Personal:
      – stop and pause before I say no. Being a lawyer and parent of toddler has been burnout zone and I feel like my answer to EVERYTHING recently is « ugh, leave me alone.” In short I’ve been a grump.
      – each time I get annoyed at my husband, tell him what I want. I carry most of the load at home (and have the harder job). And I grumble about it a lot. So this year my resolution is to tell him what I need – both things I want to be on his plate permanently (dishes, bills, living room toy cleanup), and when I need him to carry the load on a one time thing (camp sign up, etc.).

      1. How else do you plan to cut out processed food? That’s one of my goals but it’s so hard especially with snacking while WFH,

      1. Definitely do. I started wearing red lipstick consistently at night this year and I think it is a great improvement for me. Never once have I gotten a negative comment about it.

  3. Where my disrupted travelers at? We were supposed to go from LA to Portland, OR yesterday but my husband work up with a sore throat and we did the responsible thing and didn’t fly with him sick. Went to the doc, got him cleared to fly today, re-booked flights for today.

    Woke up this morning and all the flights into Portland are canceled. Scurried around trying to find something else and the best I could do is a flight from Ontario (an hour east of here) through Seattle that arrives at midnight on Christmas Day (meaning, Sunday night going into Monday morning so we miss Christmas in Portland). And darned happy to have it, even though that will leave us only a day and a half in Portland with my kid. Right now I am patting myself on the back for paying $10 extra per person to have the “cancel for no reason” option on the expensive river cruise dinner we had planned for Christmas Eve!

    Anybody want to come sit and commiserate with me?

    1. Sorry for your troubles! You did the responsible thing. I can’t complain, I had a perfect overseas trip last week visiting my kids and grandchildren who I hardly ever get to see. Wishing you good travel karma!

    2. Oh what a bummer! We are safe and warm and not traveling til Monday, which is good because the ice is gross. I hope your day and a half is wonderful.

    3. I think there are many like you who are affected, but perhaps arrangements are still in flux, or folks are too disgruntled to post.

      1. I think you’re right. I am just incredibly grateful that the second leg of my one-stop flight was canceled before I boarded the first leg!!

    4. Our disruptions were earlier in the week.
      Got a text Mon night saying our direct 3hr flight was cancelled. Looked like we could get re-routed via a close by city (1hr flight).

      We flew there by noon Tues, and then sat and watched as the connecting flight to our destination was delayed until it was finally cancelled around 930pm. We booked a hotel in the connecting city. Airline was promising to get us there on Weds but the destination airport still seemed to have a lot of closures.

      Ended up buying new tickets at my own expense to a different destination on a different airline (knowing we could make it there more reliably) and making the final leg as a 2hr drive. I will work on getting the original ticket refunded.

      In all it took us 36 hours door to door on what should have been a 3hr flight.

      I am grateful that we made it and that I recognize my privilege in being able to float a second pair of tix on short notice. Fingers crossed that trip home is smooth as I have to get back in time for Chemo day.

    5. Portlander weighing in: you dodged a huge bullet, this snow + freezing rain is a huge mess.
      Safe travels in today, it’s clearing up now!

    6. Just got home – like, back where I started – after spending the entire day at the airport today! Flight canceled, spent literally hours in the customer service line, ended up booking myself on a different airline for tomorrow morning. Ugh.

      1. Ugh! I am happy I got to deal with it all from the comfort of my home! Looks like today is a go, so yay for that!!

        1. Keep us posted! I fly tomorrow solo with my toddler. Husband got the fever that baby and I had last weekend. He’ll miss seeing my family this holiday, but at least baby will see her grandparents.

    7. I am here with you! Was supposed to travel 4 hours by car. Kept hoping there would be a good window for the trip, but the roads just weren’t able to be cleared along the route (Midwest). I think disgruntled would be better than how I feel right now? Just lonely and bored. Waiting and watching the time for the next few days to be over with so that I can get back to life. Generally, a bad end to a bad year…

    8. Was supposed to fly from San Diego to my Midwest hometown on a lovely direct flight today leaving around 11 and arriving home around 5 pm. Flight was cancelled yesterday evening, and the only flight on the same airline that gets us home any time soon is a redeye from LAX leaving shortly after midnight tonight. So my husband and I rode in the backseat of a Lyft Prius with my sister from San Diego to LAX. I know there’s a train, but part of the tracks are washed out so it was going to be a train/bus/train then Lyft to get to LAX. We’ve been sitting in the airport for hours and hopefully will board soon.

      This is on top of spending most of the holiday with my other sister and father in open warfare for Reasons. I’m not doing this again.

      1. Update: we did make it home on the redeye. I’ve taken a nap, my husband dealt with the driveway, and it’s good to be home. Safe travels to those who are still traveling.

    9. My parents got disrupted so they are driving from LA to Sacramento. They are pretty OK about it because they had planned to do a car trip from Sacramento to Seattle anyway, so it is just slightly longer. I don’t know why my husband had to scare them about potential snow in the pass, but that’s on him.

      While I got my parents several thoughtful presents, I think my mom got the BEST present in the form of in-law drama (I love my mom but she loves drama). My MIL was feeling bad, felt fine, didn’t test, came to my house for Xmas, and surprise! turns out MIL has COVID. So my mom and dad were exposed to COVID by MIL. So in my mom’s head, my MIL is definitely the bad grandma this holiday season.

  4. I have not read them, but apparently both The Love Hypothesis and this book are thinly veiled Kylo Ren/Rey AU fanfiction a la 50 Shades (per the internet, The Love Hypothesis was actually posted in some form and then reworked into the book). The covers are so obviously Adam Driver and Daisy Ridley, which I find super funny.

    1. If I’m not wrong, the cover was a fanart made for the fic when it was first posted. It’s so funny, I always laugh when I see it.

    2. Wow. The only words I understand in this post are Adam Driver and I don’t see any resemblance.

  5. Has anyone tried the TheraFace Pro or Therabody Smart Goggles (or any other facial massager)? I have tension around my temples, forehead, and eyes that I want to get rid of once and for all.

    1. I bought a super cheap eye massager on Amazon. I love it. DH hates. So clearly depends on the person.

    2. Botox. The massager is only going to soothe temporarily but if you want to get rid of them once and for all, botox is the answer.

      (By the way, I don’t currently use it so I’m not trying to get you to bandwagon. But it’s just a fact that a massager isn’t going to fix it)

      2. Truth! I also found relief from my tension headaches with regular old cosmetic forehead and crows feet Botox.

  6. The ‘spoiler alert’ is a defining staple of the genre, hahaha! Every rom-com features some sort of tall and handsome (often from the past) with whom the female protagonist will have misunderstandings…and then -after some intense gardening scenes- end up living happily ever after with.

    1. That’s kind of what I hate about romance novels. “He was a jerk, but he was just misunderstood” is creating a lot of false expectations for women. “He was a jerk, because he’s a jerk” is more realistic.

      1. Agreed. I used to read romance novels when I was a teen and aside from the obvious false expectations they create, every single one of them was exactly the same storyline. To me, they are worse than the mystery novels that give away the bad guy on page two.
        I’m kind of disappointed the author uses a pseudonym, neuroscience is fascinating to me and it would be interesting to find out whether she has authored any non-fiction on the topic.

    2. Of course. I read the “spoiler alert” as tongue-in-cheek because this is so formulaic.

    2. My husband does and loves it. It looks nice on him but I personally wouldn’t want to give up a good jewelry finger for it. His hands are typical man sized and it works fine.

    3. I have one and I enjoy the data I get from it. I’m not used to wearing a ring so sometimes it annoys me, and I mostly use it for sleep tracking. I don’t think it’s very good at counting steps. They send you a sizing kit so you can try it on before you order a size. I was between two sizes and glad I went with the bigger one because I hate the feeling of a tight fitting ring.

  8. While it’s frigid in the Midwest, I am already dreaming of summer. Does anyone have any recommendations for bunch of cabins for a bunch of adult families, some with children in Michigan near Lake Michigan over the summer? Ideally, it would be a place where each family group could rent their own mini cabin for a week. We’d have four families going, some with kiddos under 5.

    The closest thing I found was a Camp Jellystone, but the cabins didn’t have bathrooms!! It may be that we just pick a town and then we each just find a week vacation rental in it…

    1. Fun! It’s kind of crazy but it’s a little late to be booking if you want to be specific about places in Michigan for next summer. Try Sweet haven resort (resort is a very strong term for this…) in union pier. My girlfriend owns the adults only B&B next to it (garden grove) and we’ve considered taking our family to their cabins. Have fun! It’s beautiful!

  9. Merry Christmas everyone!

    I bought myself a present this year. I’m tired of freezing in wool coats, so I got a puffer coat. For the first time ever, I don’t look like a sausage roll in one! Zulilly had Canada Weather Gear brand on sale with steep discounts, so I picked it up in Peacock Blue, with faux fur lining in the hood. I love it!

    1. Sounds lovely! I live in California but still love my puffer coat. Peacock sounds gorgeous.

    2. Nice! It’s always great to not look like a sausage roll in a coat!
      I bought myself an insulated tumbler at Starbucks that is my favorite color, so I will want to bring coffee from home instead of buying it on the way.

    3. I bought a puffer for my trip to Portland, OR, and I know I am going to love it. Columbia calls the color “dark seas” but it’s pretty darned peacock-y and it’s gorgeous!

  10. TLDR: DH is a not-great cook, wants to cook meals for our friends. AITA?

    When we met, DH did not cook at all. Maybe ramen on a special occasion. I love to cook and am decent at it, so it wasn’t a huge problem. He is an enthusiastic eater and very easy to please. However, since we had kids 6 years ago, he’s been trying to learn, and our division of labor agreement is that he’s responsible for family dinner two nights a week. On average, it’s fine. I appreciate his effort, it’s usually healthy-ish, and so on. For a special meal he’ll sauté broccoli florets, mix in some jarred pasta sauce, serve over noodles. I have zero complaints about this for a weeknight family dinner! I’ve tried to be really encouraging and supportive, and I think maybe I’ve been over-praising.

    The issue now is that he wants to cook for our friends when we invite them over. I’ve always done this in the past, and I really enjoy the menu planning and cooking. Part of me says I need to relinquish control and let him do his thing; another part of me cringes as I envision welcoming our friends over for a meal and serving them something that is…not good. Our close family friends are coming tomorrow for a holiday lunch, and he’s decided that he wants to plan and cook the meal, which he described to me as “boiled spaghetti and a simple marinara”. These particular friends also happen to be French. They’re lovely and kind and not snobbish at all, but they have refined tastes when it comes to food.

    Do I just let it go? It’s going to stress me out to serve our friends a dorm-room meal for Christmas lunch — it feels rude to put so little effort into it. Am I being too controlling? Please be gentle, I adore my DH and don’t want to crush or discourage him, but also want to enjoy a special-occasion delicious meal with our friends.

    1. Boiled spaghetti. That is so innocent and sweet that he felt he needed to specify how it would be prepared.

      But seriously… lunch is tomorrow? Did you not already have a menu planned? Could you say “that’s so sweet, but i already have the ingredients to make X on hand” and ask him to arrange some nibbly appetizers?

      1. This sounds like the play here. And in the future, let him cook from time to time and repeat “the friends are here for the company” as needed.

    2. Sweetie, the friends are there for the company. Let him do it. Practice makes better :))

      1. He needs to practice with family gatherings before he cooks for friends. You do not serve guests spaghetti with jarred sauce.

    3. Can you talk about having different standards for different kinds of meals? My natural preference is for simple, healthy dishes, and I eat vegan 90+% of the time, but I’m definitely using plenty of real dairy products for Christmas. That said, there’s so much heavy food at the holidays that I start craving vegetables and simple meals again pretty quickly, so there are worse things than giving people a break from that. Maybe stick with the pasta idea, but do something more interesting than marinara and also serve a big salad or veggie side dish? Or whatever else would be more to your friends’ taste.

    4. I get it. You want to treat them to something special. That’s awesome. you’re not a jerk.

      My patron saint, ina, would tell you the whole meal shouldn’t be fancy anyway. Maybe convince him to trade the generic pasta for something brass extruded? Go buy some really fantastic parm to shave over his pasta and sprinkle fresh parsley over the plates.
      Greet them with caviar or champagne cocktails or some other fabulous morsel or drink or mocktail. Or go to the fanciest bakery in your town for a fabulous dessert. Any one of these things would make the night special as does your
      company, I’m sure. Happy everything!

    5. Omg so much sympathy. I too am a good cook with foodie family members and friends and would be super embarrassed to serve spaghetti. My suggestion would be to call in a favor spouse to spouse: “I really want to make X because I feel it would be so festive! Could we please do that together instead?” In my marriage, we rarely debate/argue requests like this, believing that the secret to longevity must include deference to reasonable urges :)

    6. I would let it go. They’re his friends too, and it’s great he wants to expand and share his skills. I am French and a foodie(l, and if a friend of mine was learning to cook and made me spaghetti and marinara, I’d enjoy it and the company! If you’re worried it isn’t festive enough; pick up some good red wine!

    7. No, you are not controlling.
      Yes, you have probably set yourself up for an awkward night by over-praising.
      Yes, your friends will probably not enjoy the meal in term of culinary experiences.

      Don’t worry about it. Get some great wine in, and maybe some cheese for dessert. Some olives. Some nice bread. Add no-cook extras.

    8. Are we married to the same man? Broccoli, lentils, jarred sauce, and noodles is a staple of my husband’s cooking, it’s fine. I’m a much better cook but I also praise his attempts to be nice. TBH I would not let my husband cook for friends either, there’s a big difference between an acceptable week night meal and a culinary experience.

    9. It’s probably too late but I’d offer to do it together. Help his plan an easy but fancy meal, and cook it together. Make sure he has real jobs so he can learn!

    10. If your friends are really lovely and kind and not snobbish at all, then it won’t matter if they have ‘refined tastes when it comes to food’ because they will be coming to spend time with their friends, one of whom is still learning to cook.

      I had zero cooking skills when I met my husband. If he’d called an effort that I’d wanted to make back then a ‘dorm-room meal’ and said he felt ‘rude to put so little effort into it’ because it was somehow not up to his standards I would be very hurt. Seriously, if you truly adore your husband, you will let this go and let him do his thing and let him learn from the experience the same way everyone does when they learn to cook.

    11. OP here —
      Thanks everyone for the suggestions and understanding. I do truly adore my sweet husband and want to support his cooking exploration, and if it weren’t a holiday meal, I’d let it go and enjoy the company.
      We ended up brainstorming straightforward but festive dishes that we could make together. So we’re making a bouillabaisse together. He found a braised leeks recipe that he’s making solo. And we’re making the Swiss roll pavlova that someone linked above, with pomegranate seeds and pistachios. We work well together in the kitchen (and in life), so I’m hopeful this will all turn out to be delicious and fun, and I’m wishing the same for everyone here!

      1. That sounds like a good solution! Hope you have a fun dinner!
        I had similar thing happen where my partner wanted to impress friends with a dish and it didn’t go well (maybe not enough practice with that dish) but luckily someone also brought a salad, which was great. Still working on letting that go… so far they didn’t come back for dinner invite (newish friends)

    12. Merry Christmas! I just wanted you to know that this story, and particularly “boiled spaghetti and a simple marinara,” had my family howling! I’m so glad you worked it out diplomatically, and bouillabaisse is my favorite – yum!

    13. He’s never going to get better if he doesn’t practice and if you shut him down when you deem it too important he won’t want to try, so I would say just let him do it. And yes, I do think it’s controlling that you’ve decided he’s not good enough for your fancy French friends.

      1. Yeah. I am not sure making spaghetti with jarred sauce constitutes practice and would perhaps only compound the problem if he received praise for it. I think the OP’s solution was much better than just letting him move forward with a bad plan.

  11. I started reading this novel this morning before I saw this post. It is certainly a fun read so far! What a timely coincidence:) since this is a braincandy evening for me of reading this novel and going through old makeup, and hopefully watching the glass onion on Netflix, I have another lipstick question ( similar to the earlier lipstick question)

    I have always been a lover of red lipsticks- both cold hued and warm tones look good on me as I have both undertones in my complexion. With age, my natural lip colour is mauvier or more purpley rather than pink. My current lipstick formulations are on the sheerer side, which need a gazillion layers to cover my purple toned lips, which ends up looking too heavy after I layer and blot.

    I’m wondering if there is a formulation – drugstore or more expensive, that is more highly pigmented. I have tried lots of different brands both higher end and less expensive, and it seems the formulas have changed over the years. I noticed some Clarins brands lipstick and shisedo at the drugstore I have a gift card for and I’m if anyone has any first hand info or tried their recent formulations, I would be curious to know as I liked the shades I saw in person. Thanks in advance!

    1. MAC matte lipsticks are what you want. You should avoid anything claiming to be moisturizing because that sheers out the pigment. MAC has some iconic reds! They also have a cool virtual try-on tool that wasn’t 100% accurate for me, but close enough to rule out some colors that I otherwise thought might work.

        1. Also forgot to add that the colour linked looks beautiful and warm— I will swatch this along with others when I go!

      2. Thank you for suggesting Mac matte. I’ve tried the Mac creamier version a while ago, and I will give the matte a try now too— I like their eyeshadows too! There are a few Mac standalone counters near me, so I will check out the matte formulation in person. Looking forward to buying myself a new red!

        1. I came back to recommend another non-drugstore brand that is really matte. NARS velvet matte lip pencil. They’re a fat, crayon like pencil. I find the colors intense so it’s definitely a swatching situation – Dolce Vita is supposed to be a dusty rose according to Sephora, and it’s a straight up red lip on me.

          I am not snobby about drugstore brands. I pick up a tube of Revlon Super Lustrous Glass Shine lipstick in Glossed Up Rose pretty much any time I pass a display that has my color (supposed to be a dupe for a really expensive YSL product), but that’s a sheer gloss situation. When I want a really intense, perfectly applied red lip, I’m going for a more upscale brand because they use more pigment and I will get the staying power I’m after – nothing worse than a smeary or patchy red lip! (Patchy is what I get from those “all day” lip products that apply like a gloss and feel like the Sahara on your lips.)

          Clearly I could talk about lipstick all day. I’m a dark-haired pale girl and it is ALL about the lipstick for me!

          1. I’m likely your dark hair medium pale twin(who could talk about lipstick all day!) So true about revlon pinks too and saucy mauve is my current fave as it plays well with my purpleish lips. I’ve loved the Nars colours from afar, but never tried them, so I am eager to try some swatches on the back of my hand in person. I agree that reds with more pigment are usually more expensive formulations, though years ago there was a L’Oréal red that I loved and was discontinued.

    2. Yes, MAC does the job – Ruby Woo is a classic for a reason. I also love Pat McGrath’s lipsticks and find them highly pigmented

    3. I love my Stila Rubino, which is brick-ish red. It is not moisturizing at all but it really does stay all day and under a mask and not smear all over my face and it’s very saturating – you have to be careful when you apply. I tried it after seeing that AOC uses Stila Beso, which is more of a true red and you can get in a trial size if true red also works for you (I haaaate true red). Your gift card won’t work for it obviously but if you don’t end up liking the MAC that others recommended you can give it a try!

      1. Actually, my drugstore (that I have a gift card for) has stilla as well, so it’s a great suggestion! I just bought the stilla eyeshadow pen as a gift for my sister last week, so I will check out their lipstick colours as well. Thank you for the recommendation, I’m excited to check out both stilla and Mac and see their shades.

  12. I spend most holidays alone. I am child free, 40s, my parents live in the frozen tundra so we do our holiday gift exchange in March. A good friend recently moved about 20 minutes from me. She has toddler twins. She invited me over for Christmas dinner. I think it would be me, her, her husband and the twins. I would love to see them BUT I do not want to intrude. My family was never terribly into holidays but I know some people invite and don’t mean it. Should I go or politely decline?

    1. OMG GO!

      Be a fun fake aunt. Bring a bottle of wine and two children’s books. Spend 10 minutes playing with the kids, chat with your friend like you’re an adult, and you’ll legitimately make their night!

      Sincerely, you would not be interfering, it would make me feel like I was still a Fun Adult with Friends and not just Mom Who Serves Her Children.

      1. + a million to this. As a mom, I enjoy having friends join in for holiday meals, and my cool teens really enjoy having someone other than their boring parents to talk to.

    4. I invite an older woman who was kind of a mentor for thanksgiving every year and we mean it. Please go!

    6. +1 for going. I sincerely loved having people over when my kids were that age because it was too hard to go out sometimes but I missed being social.

      1. I hope OP went! Our couple friends and their toddler came over Christmas Eve to decorate cookies and wound up staying for dinner, and it was so lovely to have a chosen auntie and uncle and cousin around :)

    7. Go!!! Also, I love mixing it up with having friends for holidays, they don’t have our family baggage, talk about different things and it makes you closer to share special occasions.

    8. Absolutely go! A lot of people (me included) feel a little pitiful with just the nuclear family on Christmas, so you will be making her holiday more festive!

    9. I used to do this with a single friend who was estranged from her family. I loved loved loved having her over, and my kids called her Aunt Sarah. It was great.

      I’m happy to report she worked things out with one of her siblings and now sups with them. But selfishly, I miss her being there.

      GO!!

  13. I was catching up on this week’s posts (it has been crazy at work!) and saw the one about the use of facial recognition software at MSG. While not defending that specific incident, I represent a similar venue in another city and did want to point out that it is usually used for much less nefarious purposes.

    My client uses the software to identify people who have been banned for behavior reasons. Most commonly it is because (1) they got in fights; (2) they harassed/groped a women sitting in their area; or (3) they yelled out racist or homophobic slurs during a game.

    I recognize the privacy issues that facial recognition software presents but when people are making decisions about whether it should be allowed, please understand that the reasons are not usually to keep out attorneys suing the venue! And ask yourself if you would feel the same way if the guy being excluded decided to drunkenly cop a feel or called an opposing player something I will not repeat. (Oddly it is ALWAYS men! The only women who have been excluded have been for shoplifting.) If you still believe it should be barred – that is certainly a valid opinion but it will be a more educated one.

    1. I would feel the same. Lots of things that are problematic have very good purposes too.

    2. I still think it’s problematic. I’m not condoning any of that behavior but I’ll take privacy over the possibility of running into a bad actor.

      1. In that case, I suggest you lobby your legislature to ban it. Because as long as it is legal, the venues are faced with the option of (1) using it or (2) not using it and getting sued when someone who has been trespassed gets back in and assaults someone a second time. (And that does not even touch the PR nightmare when some guy who was banned for yelling slurs at a player or ref gets in.

  14. What are your favorite winter (but not necessarily holiday) movie?

    My December has been intense and not going to slow down much until the new year so I’d love to have something to look forward to in January.

    2. I haven’t watched yet, but cannot wait to see Glass Onion, the Knives Out sequel that’s on Netflix. I must be the odd cookie, but rewatching holiday movies or more than one Hallmark a season makes me grouchy.

      1. I watched it yesterday, really liked it, so I downloaded it to my phone and watched it again yesterday while waiting for a flight! Knives Out and Glass Onion are so layered (see what I did there?) that I love rewatching because there’s always something new. Hope you get to see Glass Onion soon and enjoy it!

    3. Miracle on 34th Street

      It’s not a winter movie but Ticket to Paradise on peacock was cute and funnier than I thought it would be based on the trailer.

    4. A Christmas Story (you know, the one with Ralphie.)

      It’s a Wonderful Life

      National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

      And for winter in general, the Pine Barrens episode of the Sopranos

      1. A Christmas Story Christmas made DH and I love A Christmas Story even more. Highly recommend watching the right in a row.

    5. I’m not super sure the movie as a whole holds up, but Doctor Zhivago has the most amazing winter scene I’ve ever seen in a movie!

      1. Great suggestion! My favorite winter scene, or at least one of them, in any movie is the scene in the hotel bar with George Clooney and Jill in Out of Sight – if that movie is on cable and the scene is coming up, I am basically never not going to watch it.

        I also love watching Lost in Translation whenever the weather turns chilly.

    6. Probably not what you’re looking for, and it’s not festive in the least, but Atanarjuat: The Fast Runner is really engaging. It’s sort of like an Inuit fable and there’s some magic and murder and rape, and it’s not for everyone but it’s a very wintery movie.

    8. I love The Hudsucker Proxy. It’s sort of a Christmas movie, sort of a New Year’s movie, just beautiful.

      My mom finally talked me into watching Love, Actually and some of it is sweet, but for most of it I was thinking stuff like, “Just throw the whole man away. The whole man. Or set fire to his car, wouldn’t mind either way.”

  15. Looking for eyeglass frame inspiration to break out of a rut (I’ve ordered the same frames for the past handful of years). I don’t usually notice other peoples’ glasses unless they are really bold or unique. How do I find out what is current and professional (which will also then be culled by what looks good on my face)?

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