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I've been a fan of Nancy Gonzalez's bags from a total drool-worthy, splurgey standpoint for years now, and I was intrigued to see that she recently came out with a shoe collection. This is the shorter of the two heels she has — it has a 2″ covered heel — and we're featuring the “luggage” here. You can also get it in black and navy. I think it's an interesting look! The pump is $1,995 at Neiman Marcus in sizes 7.5–9.5. Holly Crocodile 50mm Pump
Here's a more affordable option, and here are two even more affordable options.
(L-all)
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- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Women's March Canada
I’m going to my local city’s women’s March on the 21st (Canadian marches on the Saturday) and looking for sign ideas. I was thinking ‘Women’s Rights are Human Rights’ but I feel like that’s not creative. Any suggestions? Something a bit funny/witty would be great.
Anonymous
Can you draw a cat? Draw one and write “Not this” on it.
Women's March Canada
Drawing skills are kind of awful but cute idea!
Marshmallow
Will be following since I’m thinking of ideas for DC. I’m thinking about Angela Davis’ quote, “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.”
Although, “Hands too small, can’t build a wall” has a distinct ring to it… ;)
Women's March Canada
I really like the Davis quote! lol at the other one!
Anonymous
I do not like her. I get standing up for your beliefs, but not countering with someone with blood on her hands (I understand she was acquitted; doesn’t change the facts).
Marshmallow
It seems like an unnecessary aside and I considered not even responding. But, you don’t have to “like” her and certainly nobody is forcing you to use her quote anywhere. She was acquitted, she’s an icon, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with appreciating her activism.
Anon
To quote Oprah on HRC: “She ain’t comin’ over to your house! You don’t have to like her! You don’t have to like her. Do you like democracy? Do you like this country?”
MargaretO
It’s nice to think that we could have made the little progress we have on civil rights/race in this country through entirely peaceful actions, and without militant groups like the Black Panthers, but we could not have. Nobody ever gave their power away peacefully, certainly not white America. You may not “like” her but we all owe Angela Davis and the others she worked with a great debt for the risks they took and the work they did.
Anonymous
You want to protest Trump b/c he is a mysogynist and a hot-head. But maybe your message gets lost b/c you quote from someone who is also a lightning rod.
It’s your call. But this also makes it easier to dismiss protesters as bubble-people who just don’t get it. If you want to persuade people outside of the bubble, you’ve got to speak to your audience where they are. Or you can just yell a lot. Sometimes that feels good, too.
Marshmallow
We want to protest Trump because he’s a national security risk and admitted sexual predator. Don’t get it twisted.
Anonymous
Really? She said he’s a mysoginist. Pretending she twisted it is a little extreme.
Marshmallow
Not extreme, s/he (you?) intentionally belittled the protest. Yes, he’s a misogynist, but we aren’t protesting because he’s a “hot-head.” We’re protesting because he’s dangerous. And the entire second paragraph comes across as condescending.
Anonymous
+1 Marshmallow. Thank you. I think we all have a duty to stand up when we could sit down.
Anonymous
@MargaretO: + 1000
Marshmallow
This thread got me thinking all day and now I’m pretty sure I’m just going to write Trump quotes all over myself and hold a sign that says something to the effect of, women deserve better.
Senior Attorney
I love this.
Marshmallow
My friend suggested wearing one of those giant bikini shirts and writing all over it! I’m making a plan and I think I’m gonna do this. If it were warmer I’d write straight on my skin but it will be 50’s and raining.
rosie
There is an artist who does this, it’s really powerful. Check out The-Outrage dot com, the artist is Aria Watson. (Not saying you couldn’t do this yourself, but if you want inspiration.)
Ellen
Speakeing of Civil Right’s, Dad told me that Roy Innis died yesterday. He was a freind. For those in the hive NOT familiar, he was a very good advocate for minority right’s, and freindly with President Reagan. He will be missed.
BTW, Kat, who can afford $1995 for a pair of pumps? For this price they should be 8″ pump’s! FOOEY!
Virve Georgeson
I love the Angela Davis quote. It hasn’t been overused and feels fresh and a bit cheeky! You writer’s out there please help to make it short and pithy so it will fit on a t shirt or a sign.
BTW to Ellen- I agree that paying close to $2000 is bit much for a pair of pumps, even those lovely ones ! It is a common misconception that only expensive shoes can be comfortable. The comfort feel of a shoe is almost entirely in the way it fits your individual foot – and provided that the shoe is designed correctly for a normal foot’s anatomy and that you buy the correct size for you – the cost of the shoe will make little difference in long term comfort. Sometimes a more expensive shoe will have more padding inside to cushion the foot making it feel good initially, but a better option for long term comfort is to have custom fit inserts put in that both cushion your foot plus keep it in place, as this combination will add much more comfort and stability than cushioning alone. Even cushioning that is high cost pumps.
Jules
Girls just wanna have fundamental human rights
S in Chicago
Trying to come up with ideas myself (doing Chicago’s). I’m thinking “Will of the People, Not Putin.”
Minnie Beebe
I’ll be in Chicago as well– see you there? :) I won’t be sharing my #1 sign choice, because I want it to be unique. But other ideas I’ve had:
Defund Planned Parenthood (but with the “U” crossed out and a big red “E” added over top”, natch)
Women’s Rights are Human Rights
Trump = Putin Puppet
A big red heart with “Trump + Putin” written in, like you’d carve on a tree. Maybe with a giant smooch mark (is there a word for this?) as well.
I have a long list at home– this is all I remember right now. Making my signs this weekend!
Anonymous
My sign will be directed at my Republican Senator: Marco Rubio. I will be begging him to show up and have integrity.
This shoe
I can see myself scuffing these and peeling the croc off of the heels on day 1. And then making them very mumsy and not chic b/c I’m not sure how to wear (not with pants, it seems, unless I could pull off a Sabrina-sort of look, which is hard with my gigantic hips; sheath dress?).
What do you do with 2″ kitten heels to make them chic? The heel hight is right for me. Given my tendency to ruin kitten heels on paver sidewalks, I’d buy something like a BR or AT version of this (if I could style it pretty).
ITDS
I have small feet (size 5.5 US) and thus find lower heels more comfortable. 2″ is perfect for me. I wear them with dresses, trousers, ankle pants, whatever. What makes them seem mumsy? The low heel? On my small feet these would look like a pair of basic pumps with a well proportioned heel – no special styling help necessary. Although honestly I cannot imagine paying $2K for a pair of shoes that look like something you could get at Zappos or DSW for $100.
Marshmallow
I also have tiny feet and never thought until now that the angle of a heel on me is totally different than someone with a large foot. I routinely wear 3″ or so heels, but anything higher than 3.5″ starts making me physically tip over forward, as in my foot will kind of roll over on itself. Geometry! Makes sense!
But to answer OP’s question, I just wear low heels the exact same way I’d wear higher heels. If it has a pointy toe, I think a kitten heel is just as flattering as something higher.
kk
I’m 5’10 and pear shaped, and wear kitten heels all the time – even with my size 9 feet, I find them proportional on me because I stay at a height more similar to most people I encounter. I feel like they give me the lift and look of wearing heels, while staying more comfortable for walking/standing.
I’m 29 and as long as the rest of my outfit is tailored and not mumsy (I favor dresses over pants, unless they’re slim ankle pants), the ann taylor kitten heels are perfectly stylish and age- appropriate.
The aerosols and easy street alternatives are definitely mumsy.
Bonnie
When wearing lower shoes, I prefer a more substantial heel. Something about kitten heels like these feels very dated to me.
Sydney Bristow
Are 2″ heels like this kitten heels? I always thought kitten heels were much shorter.
an0nym0us
Those are very beautiful, very expensive shoes.
Senior Attorney
Right? It’s a sad day when the Jimmy Choos are the affordable option! LOL
Torin
Word. Move the decimal one space and we’re talking closer to my price range.
Anondc
These dont really look like $1995 shoes to me…
CPA Lady
I think that both Talbots and Brooks Brothers have made variations of these shoes for years, though neither of them seem to have any like these at the moment. That’s the kind of price range I’d pay.
s
I totally thought they were going to be a really inexpensive brand.
anon
I think they’re actual crocodile. Hence the price. I also think they’re ugly.
Anonymous
I would want an actual crocodile for this price.
AB
I would like to get a book as a gift for an 11-year-old girl cousin — I’m thinking Anne of Green Gables, but would welcome any suggestions.
emeralds
I started loving Tamora Pierce around that age.
ace
Oh, me too (and now). I loved the Lioness series in particular, and only discovered in the last year that she has so many other books too!
jwalk
+1 to Tamora Pierce! The Alanna series, maybe?
Anonymous
I would definitely recommend any of the Tortall Tamora Pierce books for elementary to middle school aged girls. Or boys, for that matter! (Not to dig on the other books, I just personally didn’t find them as compelling.)
pugsnbourbon
YES. I was making small talk with a roughly nine-year-old boy once and asked what he was reading. It was Lioness Rampant and it made my day so much better.
Anonymous
Loved that series. But there is a lot of s3x! Subtle at first, but more and more explicit as the series goes on.
Lynnet
Honestly, I read the books first when I was 11, and it went right over my head. I didn’t get what “sharing a bedroll” meant until I reread them in high school.
Granted, ‘kids these days, etc…’
Gail the Goldfish
Some of her other Tortall series don’t have as much. I don’t think her Protector of the Small quartet has any (it’s been a while since I’ve read them, but nothing is jumping out at me)
Lynnet
My memory is that the later Protector of the Small books have more explicit gardening (although I was also older when I read them). The Trickster series definitely has significant amounts of gardening. I don’t think there’s anything in the Daine books, though.
Gail the Goldfish
Same. This was also about the time I started loving Diane Duane’s Young Wizards series (kid wizards before harry potter made it cool)
Gail the Goldfish
Actually, I’ll just second most of the suggestions on this thread. Golden Compass, Robin McKinley, Dealing with Dragons. YA scidi/fantasy is my favorite.
Curious
Also lots of …gardening… in Robin McKinley. All over. 13 yo me blushed a lot. But loved her books.
Anon
The Disreputable History of Frankie Landeau-Banks by E Lockhart – I wish I had read this when I was younger, and I give it to every preteen I know.
Otherwise check out the book guides at A Might Girl. They’ve got huge lists of books that encourage smart confident and courageous girls, which is their tag line. Here’s their preteen list:
http://www.amightygirl.com/books?age_range_filter=5
Shopping
+1
Anon
Just to keep plugging my fave book, I found a NYT review of the book here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/17/books/review/Freitas-t.html
This section pretty much sums up why I give it to preteens (boys and girls):
“Why is it psychotic if I did it, and brilliant if Alpha did it?” Frankie asks Matthew, about the tendency of boys to be rewarded when they pull off clever, rebellious schemes, while girls are likely to be labeled hysterical and deranged. Such observations are peppered throughout “The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks.” A homage to girl-power, the novel offers biting social commentary throughout — not the kind that deadens a story but the kind that gives it punch — and a protagonist who is independent and fearless, even contemptuous of others’ expectations.
For girls who have experienced a double standard but lacked the precise words to name it, there will surely be many moments of recognition in Frankie’s story. She will challenge girls’ images of themselves, who they are in relation to boys and why.
cbackson
Robin McKinley would be my answer, but not all her books are YA-appropriate so exercise caution. My rec would be to give her both The Hero and the Crown and The Blue Sword. The Blue Sword is very loosely a sequel to The Hero and the Crown, although each is a complete, standalone story.
OP
Love those books! To me, Blue Sword is a little less dark.
OP
argh, not OP here, sorry actual OP!
buffybot
Wrinkle in Time? I also remember loving the Dealing with Dragons series – irreverent and I don’t think would seem dated. Also a fan of Susan Cooper.
Emmer
Was going to suggest Wrinkle in Time too. Was the first book that I read that I can remember making me think deeply and critically.
Anonymous
+1, also Mercedes Lackey’s Herald of Valdemar
Lynnet
Second Dealing with Dragons (it definitely still holds up) and a Wrinkle in Time. The third Heralds of Valdemar book has an explicit gang r@pe scene in it, so I might hold off until she’s a little older.
Jo March
Anne of Green Gables (if she’s into that, Emily of New Moon by the same author)
Tamora Pierce is the only fantasy author I liked! I read everything under the sun besides fantasy so +1 for her books and her ability to appeal to non-fantasy readers as well. The books: Alanna series (Song of the Lionness), The Immortals (same literary universe), Protector of the Small (same universe – so good from a strong female main character perspective!)
Additional options: https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/1606.Top_100_Middle_School_Must_Reads
(though I would recommend screening title based on what you know of her reading level as some of those titles were books I read at a younger age than 11)
Curious
I still refer to ‘Protector of the Small’ as a good guide to morality.
Baconpancakes
If she’s precocious, The Golden Compass is great fantasy with a 10 or 11 year old protagonist. It’s a 3-part series, but pre-dates Harry Potter, and is much better writing. If she likes fantasy/magic, I’d point you there.
Alternately, Dealing with Dragons (Patricia Wrede) is right in that age range.
Jo March
Oh! and Series of Unfortunate Events series
Sydney Bristow
I just gave my 7-year old “niece” the book Women In Science: 50 Fearless Pioneers Who Changed the World by Rachel Ignotofsky and it went over very well. She’s advanced for her age but the book is still probably a bit beyond her for solo reading (my cousin is going to read it with her), so its probably perfect for an 11 year old.
Anon
Depends on what she’s into, but check out The Dairy Queen by Catherine Gilbert Murdock and its sequels. I read them in my 20s and fell in love with them (but they’re geared towards preteen/teens)
Anonymous
Those books are wonderful. There aren’t a lot of YA characters like DJ and the author did such a great job of capturing a teenager’s voice.
OP
My favorite book at that age was The Westing Game…not sure how it would stand the test of time, but I loved it in the 80s. :)
good thought!
YESSSS. This, 100%.
Anonymous
Anne is perfect. I have also give the Princess Diaries and other Meg Cabot books to that age range.
Sloan Sabbith
Princess diaries has an adult sequel. FYI. If you read them.
Meredith
Princess diaries has an adult sequel. FYI. If you read them.
kag
The Mistery of the Clockwork Sparrow, The Golden Compass, Artemis Fowl, Series of Unfortunate Events or something by John Boyne.
ChiLaw
Esperanza Rising! It’s so great. In a former life I taught a girls’ enrichment summer school, and my students absolutely loved it – as did I.
First day of work outfits
I start a new job soon in a cold climate. I work in a lab environment so I am wondering what kind of outfit to put together. The first few days will probably be spent getting acquainted with other coworkers and knowing my way around the lab/equipment. FWIW, this is an academic environment so people tend to dress down but I don’t want to look frumpy. Suggestions?
Anna
Definitely pants and shoes that cover your entire foot, which obviously rules out a lot of options. This may depend on exactly what field you’re in, but in the labs I’ve been in, the worst thing you could do is show up looking like you can’t do the job safely. Skirts/dresses might be okay later, but definitely not for the first couple days.
Anonymous
I’d say pretty much whatever you’d wear in a warmer climate + a winter coat and hat, scarf and gloves if appropriate. The indoor of an office building in Minnesota won’t be colder in winter than the indoor of a building in Miami (it might even be warmer, because in cold places they blast the heat and in warm places they blast the AC).
kk
I’d go preppy and wear tall flat riding boots with tights in the same shade, and a pencil skirt in a similar or complimentary shade, with a merino or cashmere crewneck sweater, possibly with a heavier blazer over it (that you could take off, if you are putting on a lab coat). Very Selma Blair in legally blonde, but warm and work appropriate.
Anonymous
Absolutely no skirts if you’re going to be working with lab equipment. This is a safety concern, not a fashion one.
if you’re going to be sitting by your computer all day, then you can wear skirts or dresses.
Bio Grad Student
It depends on the lab. I’m in a biology lab and skirts and dresses are fine (I wear them all the time), even without tights in the summer. (We don’t have a lot of safety concerns). However, even in my undergrad chem labs you could wear a skirt as long as it was floor length, and I assume most academic lab rules would have that sort of exception to a long pants rule, unless you’re dealing with some sort of machinery where a skirt would cause more problems than pants or need to be in a clean suit. (I always assumed the floor length skirt rule was to be inclusive of women who don’t wear pants for religious reasons).
As a current grad student, I would do clean jeans, a long sleeve shirt and sweater – a cardigan or pullover to start with. I am in a casual department in a casual part of the country, but variations of that outfit are worn by everyone from grad students to techs to faculty, in lab and at conferences. Not super fashionable, but I think its a safe look and the outfit is functional, e.g. if you have to climb or crawl around things or carry things you won’t potentially ruin fancy or hard to clean clothing. Of course, avoid scarfs until you know you won’t be around open flames or machinery they could get trapped in.
crash
This is incorrect!
Depends on the type of lab/equipment.
In my various molecular biology/neuroscience/genetics labs there is no dress code, and skirts are fine. That being said, skirts tend to be a bit dressy in the lab, where dress is extremely casual.
Anna
It’s true that skirts are common in many biology labs, but official safety policies generally do require pants (or that your legs at least be covered, so a long skirt might be okay). Unless you’re 100% sure that skirts are okay, you’re much more likely to be judged negatively for coming unprepared for lab work than you are for looking frumpy, so better to be careful and save the nicer looking outfits for when you’re sure it’s okay. In my experience, universities vary considerably in how strictly they interpret or enforce lab dress codes and there’s no real way to know until you’re there.
shopping
The post that the “no skirts” replied to suggests riding boots, tights, and a pencil skirt. So legs fully covered, most of the leg by two layers, and that kind of skirt doesn’t have extra fabric floating around.
kld
“judged negatively for coming unprepared for lab work…” ?!?! Get a grip.
Do you work in biology lab?
You are way off base, speaking as a long term academic having worked at 7 major Universities in the biological sciences. Relax my dear.
Bio Grad Student
With the caveat that I’m in a casual department in a casual part of the county, I think that outfit would be a little dressy for the average lab environment, especially for a tech on their first day. I do know people who dress like that but I can count them on one hand, and they dress down if they are doing a lot of bench work.
More importantly, depending on the type of work you are doing that outfit may not be very practical. I think a pencil skirt could limit your mobility and, while I have a few merino and cashmere sweaters I wear a lot to work I don’t wear them if I’m actually going to be doing a lot of work in the lab, because I don’t want to accidentally spill something on or rip a hole in my nice clothes.
I think it’s perfectly appropriate to be more business casual as opposed to casual-casual, even in an academic lab, (that’s more where my style lies) but do think about the functionality of your clothes in ways you might not in a desk based causal environment.
MarieCurie
Well fitting jeans, a shirt with some stretch (so you can easily use both hands to hold and lift something in front of you). To make it lab-fancy I’d suggest a third addition. When I wear a sweater I add a scarf (removable if I’m working with something) or a pin and when I wear a tshirt (summer mostly) I add a jacket (Olivia Moon makes a great ponte jacket). I’m in physics and think sometimes bio ladies are fancier.
Bio Grad Student
I see that trend too! Maybe its because (going from my very uninformed impression of physics) that physics involves more working with equipment or actually making things, compared to the average biology lab. I do mostly computer work, but my bench work involves working with small quantities of expensive liquids that if I spilled I would be more distressed about the loss of hundreds of dollars worth of reagents then about any danger to myself.
MarieCurie
I’m sure that contributes! The most dangerous chemical I deal with is methanol – don’t get me started on vacuum grease stains though.
I also think that we’re (badly) influenced by the lack of women in physics. When you have limited interactions with your own sex on a daily basis it can really effect what you think of as normal clothing.
For the OP: you might take a look at the lab website – they often will have group pictures that will give you sense of the local standard.
Not that Anne, the other Anne
“Lab-fancy” – I love that. That’s the exact dress code I would aim for if I were giving a presentation to the lab group or going to a conference.
Now, if it was a full day of hard core chem stuff? Jeans and a t-shirt. There was no point in being fancy to work with strong acids.
Cotillion
What are thoughts on cotillion for teens these days? Outdated? Any personal experiences from parents or participants?
Anonymous
I will never hear this word and not think of Gilmore Girls haha… The whole concept is super sexist IMO and I wouldn’t attend one or encourage my daughter to participate.
jwalk
Agreed! I don’t think cotillion has any place in modern society (and the Gilmore Girls episode did a good job of discussing that).
Baconpancakes
You’re thinking of a debutant ball. That’s the one with the fan dance and the presentation by Rory’s father and Dean wearing gloves. A cotillion is just a dance. Literally. A dance with a fancy name and usually fancy sandwiches. The only cotillion in GG was the one where Loreli took Michele to the dance and she saw that the rebellious little girl she connected with was actually having a great time.
jwalk
You’re right, I was thinking of the debutante ball. But honestly, correct me if I’m wrong here, don’t they go together? Kids grow up going to cotillion and then it escalates to debutante ball once they’re of age?
Anonymous
Cotillion is a huge thing in our area for middle school girls and boys of a certain social standing. They take dancing lessons together and then have dances. It is by invitation only. We don’t run in those circles, mainly because unlike virtually all educated professionals in our metro area we live outside of the city limits and send our kid to public school, so we don’t have any connections that would yield an invitation. I am not sure what we’d do if our child got an invitation. The photos on the cotillion web pages make it look surprisingly diverse (they must be recruiting intentionally), and it seems like a good way for kids to begin learning social and networking skills. I grew up in a lower middle class family without these types of opportunities and am still very uncomfortable and ineffective in schmoozy networky situations, which is a huge issue for me socially and professionally.
Anony
What state do you live in? Is this a Southern thing?
Anonymous
I have friends in the VA DC suburbs who are doing this. They are not Dowager Countess at all.
Sarabeth
I did this growing up. It was super boring, and I nagged my parents to let me stop as soon as I could. It also fed into the debutante ball scene that happened in early college years, which I wanted nothing to do with. If you have society aspirations, it’s good for that.
anon
What kind of cotillion? The kind where you get an introduction to ballroom dancing and some etiquette lessons? I don’t see an issue with that, I did a couple of years of classes along those lines when I was growing up and overall, it was positive. I’m from the south so this was pretty commonplace.
Or do you mean the cotillion in the debutante sense? I think that probably is a little more location specific as to what it entails and the benefits.
Bostonian
I did the former, not the latter, growing up in Massachusetts. I enjoyed it and would have my kids do the same. I would not do a debutante ball – hellz to the no. I went to school in the south, married a southerner, and that stuff is just nuts to me.
Bostonian
Also, our cotillion taught us etiquette more than anything. Every time we went there was a receiving line of parents. They emphasized eye contact, a firm hand shake, general etiquette and manners. The dancing part of it wasn’t my biggest take away after all of these years, but was obviously a large portion of it. If anything, I’d say the dancing part was handled very well for a bunch of middle schoolers – it broke through social circles/cliques very well, something that was meaningful at that age.
Shopping
That’s how mine worked too. “Good evening Ms. X” and a handshake–with curtsy. I like knowing that I can do a basic waltz and Lindy, even if it doesn’t exactly come up often.
pugsnbourbon
My husband did cotillion through his private middle school and emphasized the etiquette aspect of it. He can’t dance so I guess those lessons didn’t stick.
Cotillion
I think it is mostly an introduction to ballroom dancing and etiquette lessons. In our area, anyone can do it; no invitation needed. Looking at it for a pre-teen boy who could use some (outside) help with manners and social skills.
Anonymous
This is what our cotillion is. I think of it as totally mandatory — using a knife at a nice restaurant, conversing casually with strangers, handshakes, manners. We try to eat at a table regularly and have dinner with other people, but you’d think my children had never been told to chew with their mouths closed or use a napkin. It’s the good kind of peer pressure that they’ll be glad they had when they have their first recruiting lunch or business meal.
Shopping
Exactly why I wish I would’ve looked harder a few years ago, for my now high school boy
Anonymous
It is a great way for children to learn age-appropriate manners and to begin to navigate social settings.
s
I did it with my younger kids– they were maybe 8 or 9? I personally thought it was totally worthless other than that they enjoyed dressing up and being with their friends on Monday nights. The advice was outdated (girls, always let the boy do x,y,z). Their manners did not improve in the slightest. We’re not country club types and nobody is having a coming out party around here, so overall it was a waste.
Anonymous
How do guys learn this stuff though?
I can think of guys I knew in college who had a tuxedo (or nice suit) or ROTC dress uniform and they were at formals every single weekend b/c they knew how to dress and act (and not to throw up on their date).
I have daughters and want them to see something besides twerking-like dancing.
But the last time I heard coming-out party, I did not think of girls in white dresses but pink triangles (it was white dresses, but like no one does that in any over-the-top sense and I’m in the south) (but I’d prefer it to the My Super Sweet-16 nonsense and prom-posal nonsense).
OfCounsel
Maybe too late to respond, but most of the girls and many of the boys at my daughter’s (public) middle school in Southern California did cotillion. I did not see anything sexist about it and the group was pretty diverse. They were taught (very) basic ballroom dancing, the finer points of table manners, how to shake hands, how to make an introduction, how to accept a compliment, and how to make polite dinner conversation. Many of them HATED it (my daughter did) because it was “boring” and “stupid”, but I suspect that many of them used the lessons they learned later (I know my daughter did).
Anonymous
Hmm, so, in my hometown, Vancouver, cotillion is a big party Filipina-Canadian families throw for their daughters when they turn 18 or so. Basically, quincinera, but a bit older.
What is cotillion in the U.S.?
Wedding Hair
I was late to the morning thread on wedding hairstyles, but wanted to chime in to say I had mine done in two parts so after the ceremony I took half of the updo down, and it was half-up, half-down for the reception. I loved it! Best of both worlds. Basically the stylist did a half-up do, pinning it a couple inches above the nape of the neck, and then pinned up the remaining hair to the same spot so it all met in the same place. Then I just had to take the bottom bobby pins out. It also allowed me to wear my veil low-ish, where I wanted it.
Anonymous
Related to the above, any good sign ideas for cheering at a marathon?
Marshmallow
The zombies are gaining on you!
Anonymous
“My feet hurt, run faster”
Anonymous
Chuck Norris runs until the treadmill gets tired.
If Britney Spears can survive 2007, you can survive this.
Whine now, wine later
Ameteur
Don’t be one of those jerks who are like “Rember you paid for this!” Sort of want to punch those people.
Yeah I feel you
I’ve seen a lot. Here are some common ones:
Worst Parade Ever
“Insert Politician name” ran and so can you
Free beer in one mile
I farted, run faster!
Keep Calm and Don’t poop yourself
That shirt makes your butt look fast
Fewer toenails = Pedicure discount?
Why do the cute ones always run away
No more news years resolutions!
Remember you paid $ for this
I saw a couple and one had a sign that said “You are all crazy” and the other said “<— Standing in the cold since 6 am to tell you that" or something like that probably shorter
HCP
“Your feet hurt because you are kicking so much butt!”
pugsnbourbon
“You run better than Congress”
Torin
Ha!
Low bar though. Like is it even off the ground?
Anonymous
OP here. These are great! Look for some of them at the Houston marathon. :)
Anonymous
The best sign at Houston last year was “If you walk, Trump wins”. First marathon I’ve kept running through every water stop. Sadly my fellow Texans did not hold up their end of the deal.
Tipsss
Hi Ladies –
I am currently working on my dream job. A mid – level role in a very well known global company with a cushy salary, good commute and decent hours. My issue is I am bored. Bored to tears in fact. However, it’s good for my career so I’ll stay for at least a year. My question is – what can I do outside of work that will inspire or help with the boredom? DH has a great job too and so we like to do things on the weekends normally movies, eating out, festivals etc. but what can I do that’s for ME. I’m into things like beauty, fashion, style and interior design. Not interesting in blogging or fitness classes. Aside from that – any tips or commiseration? If you have a boring job too how do you cope day to day?
Thanks for any help!
Torin
I took up rock climbing a few years ago. I also like to cook and spend a lot of time on cooking blogs. I don’t know that either one of those would appeal to you from your list of interests though.
Can you peruse meetup.com for gatherings that might appeal to you?
Tipsss
Same here. I adore cooking– well for DH and myself. So I cook every night after work on breakfast on Saturdays. It helps me to relax and he really appreciates the effort.
Anonymous
Maybe your can organize a prom / bridesmaid dress donation so that girls who can’t afford prom dresses can have things to pick from? My junior league did that and solicited donations from people and from department/bride stores (esp. in larger sizes). It helped that we had a thrift store to help house and have give-ways at.
We also had top-notch window displays despite having no budget b/c we had a SAHM who used to be in fashion who’d volunteer for that.
Our Goodwill has a high-end section that various designers curate from donations and it is fab and always on the news when it gets refreshed.
You can do a lot of good in the fashion / style department.
pugsnbourbon
Where do you live? Is it possible to do “touristy” things in your own city?
Sometimes art museums have lectures/guest speakers or special-interest tours. Architecture schools or art societies might have walking tours of cool neighborhoods/districts. Art schools offer continuing education classes – if you’ve always wanted to learn to make jewelry, there might be a silversmithing class you can try.
If you own a home, are there any projects you could tackle?
Tipsss
Yep I tend to do touristy things on the weekends with DH and I tend to decorate and redecorate on weekends too lol
Anonymous
If you’re young enough, get into the YP group of a charity. It’s a much lower bar to entry than the board, but it can give you tons of experience, networking, and opportunities. Seriously, it was one of the best things I did for my career. I became the VP just one year after joining the YPs and then the President the year after that. There’s usually a lot of room for growth and to make it what you want.
If you’ll tell us where you are, we can perhaps give suggestions.
Anonymous
What is YP?
Sarabeth
Young professionals
Anonymous
Young professional
Anonymous
Also, a lot of the work can be done by email during the day. I have at night stuff maybe once or twice a month.
Tipsss
I should’ve mentioned I’m in grad school also. I have about 6 classes left till I graduate with my second masters. Which is why I’m not too interested in reading or writing for pleasure right now because between my career which is full time and grad school full time — I want to do things outside those two commitments which don’t require much thinking and are more so fun :) plus in between all that I make DH dinner every night and spend time watching shark tank with him — as a way to bond and unwind :)
Tipsss
I’m on the west coast. Due to grad school and full time working with high powered professionals — professional networking and groups like that outside of work is overwhelming for me.
s
Yep that’s me. I have the holy grail job for a lawyer who isn’t a go-getter– in house. I’m frequently bored to tears and I’m not even always busy. I have kids though so I’m not really looking for a ton of stuff after hours. I’m not about to leave because (a) there aren’t many job openings, (b) I worry my skills have lapsed, and most importantly, (c) it would undoubtedly give me a 3 hour a day commute. So I don’t have any great ideas. I cope by focusing on the fact that the work I do have is well-suited to me, and that I like it once it does pick up more. Also by remembering that it pays really well and allows me to pay for kids’ club sports, summer camp, expensive vacations, etc., and that I had zero interest in scrimping to be a SAHM.
Tipsss
Same here. I had a 2 month layover for my current position and was basically a SAHW and was bored to tears/miserable with that. There was only so many mall trips, cleaning and decor with fresh flowers I could do. Then depression started to creep in so was glad to be back to work plus finishing up my last two semesters of grad school.
S
I think I wouldn’t mind being a SAHM all that much, but I wouldn’t want to be poor. We live in a very affluent area and even if you’re not materialistic, there’s some inevitable keeping up with the Jones, especially for kid activities. S
Anonymous
I know you said you have no interest in blogging…but it is a really great time sink. :) I spend probably 15-20 hours a week on mine, and worry about how I’m going to keep it up once I have a baby.
Anonymous
Tell us your blog name!
Tipsss
I love that idea!! But frequently have to write in my career and even blog at times so it’s a no go for recreation for me lol.
Anonymous
I would read All the Books. I would also say job hunt, because low-stress, 9-5 jobs don’t have to be boring, but it sounds like you’re not planning to stay there long term anyway.
Tipsss
This!!! Yes this is what I’ve been doing. I’ve been thinking job hunting is a good one. I have been on lunch breaks. I find myself looking at PR and beauty editor jobs because they marry my skills and interests. I’ve also realized what I can’t stand most about my job is the hours chained to the desk. I’m craving a fully remote job.
Senior Attorney
I’d suggest looking into service clubs in your area. Junior League, Rotary, Kiwanis, whatever clicks with you. I’ve made great friends and had great experiences with my Rotary Club even though my job isn’t the be-all and end-all these days.
Tipsss
I definitely want to once grad school is over! But I feel the same even now and I’m 5 years into my career. It’s not my be all or end all. Sometimes it feels like it takes up way too much time and that makes me sad. I’d rather be living and doing creative and fun things. And being with my DH –sorry I know that’s super mushy but he really is everything to me. 8 years n counting..
shopping
I think most of those organizations start with a weekly meeting. It wouldn’t be much to add to your schedule now, but when you were ready for bigger commitments, you’d be a known entity in the organization.
Senior Attorney
Right. My Rotary club meets at lunchtime on Wednesdays. I have to eat lunch anyway so it’s any easy way to fit in some networking/friendmaking/community service.
Lynnet
Can you do a full re-design of each room in your house (or each room in my house, for that matter?) or start volunteering with an organization like Dress for Success?
One thing that always makes me feel more mentally invigorated is to learn something in an area completely unrelated to my job. I’m a lawyer, so I like taking data science type courses on Coursera. They’re free, and there’s no commitment, so if I get busy at work I can stop at any time, but it exercises a completely different part of my brain.
In the past few years I’ve also tried incorporating more engagement with areas of pop-culture with which I’m not as familiar/don’t naturally gravitate towards. So this year, for example, I’m planning on watching all of the Oscar nominated movies, when typically I maybe watch one action movie a year.
Anonymous
This. Please decorate my house! I moved in almost 2 years ago and I don’t have a single room that is “finished.” I would love to consult with an interior designer who’s just getting started and wouldn’t charge me much.
Tipsss
Gosh. We may be onto something here Ladies. I hadn’t even thought about maybe doing something like this for others. Maybe on the side?
Anonymous
Totally. I bug my style-neighbor all the time — paint swatches, other things, plants (our lots adjoin, so we co-ordinate on things that we both look at). He is So Good and my husband will listen to him when he says something. I’d pay him if he had a rate (but he doesn’t, so he gets wine).
Tipsss
That sounds dreamy. Ugh I’d love that as a job and I’d accept Wine payments any day.
Tipsss
OOooo love the ideas about pop culture. For volunteering – I do a lot through my church already and due to grad school and running my household (DH helps but we all know that sometimes you have to clean up after them lol) I don’t have much time after work for volunteer clubs or orgs till grad school is done this winter. But loving the oscar nominated idea.
Tipsss
Hahaha and yes I will definitely re design your home!!! I loveee design and decor. Especially on a budget. Recently completed redid our home for $400 DH was in shock!!! I’m good at the sales!!!
Tipsss
What do you ladies do to cope while at the job?? So far I have snacks and text DH frequently lol. But that’s it. No friends here yet either. Previously had my own office and had more privacy so I played music and had a nice little heater. But now I’m at a huge company with open floor plans.
Doehwlhsoen
I definitely don’t know that a book open on the kindle app looks awfully like a PDF
Sydney Bristow
Can you wear headphones? That’s how I get by in my low cube farm office and if I’m doing something that doesn’t require much thought, I listen to podcasts to keep entertained.
Tipsss
Love that idea! Yes recently they said headphones where fine so I love the podcast idea. I’m a huge pod caster. Hehehe I agreed that kindle on an app looks like a PDF ;) this was easier when I had an office too gosh I miss that privacy. ESP sleeping on lunch breaks with the door shut. Sigh
Anonymous
Any thought to fix the boredom at your job? If everything else is great, maybe you just need more responsibility or more challenging projects?
Tipsss
The nature of the work is whats boring – which is why this isnt necessarily an option lol
anon
If you were thinking of starting a family “someday” this might be a great time. Cushy job, not too demanding, good commute…. lots of women (and men) try really hard to get all of that lined up before becoming parents.
Tipsss
Agreed! But not thinking of kids till grad school is done and probably another 4 years of career. For me all of this is amazing but in my mind it still not enough stability. Plus for me I want a fully flexible work schedule position prior to kids also.
shopping
You’ve just reminded me to start looking for lessons on that instrument I want to pick up again (with dreams of being in a small performance group, eventually). Thanks!
There is also a language I want to learn. I have not been able to find instruction in it.
Surely there is something you want to learn.
Sydney Bristow
Does chia seed pudding have a texture similar to tapioca pudding? In my head it does, which is why I’ve never tried it. I have a huge texture aversion to tapioca pudding. But if it doesn’t, it sounds like something I should try to mix up my breakfast options.
AZCPA
I think they are very different. But I adore tapioca pudding and loathe chia pudding (I feel like I’m eating gritty mud), so YMMV.
Anon in NYC
It does. But, I also add chia seeds to hot oatmeal to increase the protein and get omega-3s and you don’t notice the texture (at least, I don’t think so). I do 1 tbsp chia seeds to 1/2 cup of oats, but you could start out with less. Another option is to add chia seeds to granola and top yogurt. In warmer weather I like to soak chia seeds overnight and add them to my smoothie. It makes the smoothie thicker and gives it more heft so I stay full longer, but because it’s pureed you don’t notice the texture.
Anon in NYC
Oh, and I love tapioca pudding and my husband hates both tapioca and chia seed pudding for texture reasons.
NYC
Looking for an ophthalmologist in NYC, preferably UWS. I have UHC Vision. Any recommendations? TIA!
Anonymous
I go to Dr. Viola Kanevsky on Columbus and I love her. However she is an optometrist.
JM
Dr. Andrew Nightingale. He is on CPW in the 80s.
First time buying a house...
…any tips for choosing a realtor or real estate agent?
I know I want to get someone who is experienced at working as a buyer’s agent in the specific neighborhoods I am targeting. I know I want someone who as a good network of recommendations (for mortgage brokers, contractors, inspectors, whatever). I have, like, one recommendation but I need to find people on my own (new to a mid-size city, no coworkers have bought or sold recently in the areas I am looking at). I know I should probably “interview” a couple. Any advice welcome, especially in regards to the following specific questions:
– Realtor or real estate agent? Does it matter if there is a realtor license?
– Any websites or resources for finding someone?
Thanks!
anon
Start going to open houses in your target neighborhood and you’ll have a chance to chat up the hosting agents. You might see the same agent or two over and over, which tells you they know the neighborhood and would probably be a good fit.
Do a Realtor. I think the licensing requirements are higher. You can google this.
nutella
This is how we met our realtor, before we even had a chance to ask friends for recommendations. We went to an open house and while we didn’t like the home, we really liked the realtor. She had lived 2 blocks away for 17 years before moving 8 blocks away (different neighborhood of the same suburb), so knew the schools and different neighborhoods of the suburb really well. Even things like, “that corner always floods in a rainstorm” and “in summer, this street gets really backed up with little league traffic.” She wasn’t too pushy and gave us space to look and had a lot of great recommendations and was very knowledgeable about the home, too. She was prepared. It’s amazing how many can’t answer simple questions like, “when was this home built?” As our buying agent, she is extremely meticulous about actual bones of the home (“they said they never had a water problem, but there is black mold behind that door”) whereas so many agents focus on the aesthetics, which drives me crazy — hello! we cannot fix this basement flooding problem, but we can buy a nice light fixture. We liked that she gave space as a seller’s agent and as a buying agent, we like that she walks the rooms with us, so we see the same things. We are not first time buyers, either, but you 100% need someone who is prepared, knowledgeable, and detail-oriented if you are buying a house for the first time. Good luck!
Anonymous
Your employer’s HR folks might be able to give you a recommendation, since they no doubt get asked for referrals from relocating employees. When we moved to our current area for my husband’s job we went with one recommended by his employer and she was phenomenal.