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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 250 Comments · by

Wednesday’s TPS Report: Stretch-Knit Military Jacket

The Personal Shopper (TPS)· Under $150

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Isda Co Stretch-Knit Military JacketOne of my favorite blazers in our Olivia Pope fashion roundup yesterday was the navy Alexander McQueen one — while this one from Isda & Co. has some important differences (it's a jersey knit, not a wool; it has less fewer buttons; it has epaulets), I think the spirit is similar enough to be worth noting — particularly considering the difference in price: a McQueen blazer would probably be four figures, but this Isda & Co one is marked to $134.25 (originally $279). Nice. Isda & Co Stretch-Knit Military Jacket Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]. (L-2)

Sales of note for 8.30.24

  • Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
  • Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
  • Boden – 20% off
  • Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
  • Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
  • Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
  • Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
  • White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale

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Comments

  1. Edna

    Apologies for the immediate threadjack, but has anybody here had a Brazilian Blowout? Was it worth the cost? How long did it last? Was it a pain when it grew out?

    I have super curly hair and lately I feel like my hair is unmanageable and makes me look heavy. I usually have stylists thin my hair out a little, but it just doesn’t seem to be enough to mitigate the heaviness. As an aside, I moved a little over a year ago and am still struggling to find a stylist that I love as much as the stylist I had in my previous city.

      • Killer Kitten Heels

        Um, Edna said *her* curls make *her* look heavy – I don’t think she intended to make a sweeping statement about all curly hair on all people.

        The flash fire over Kat’s post yesterday was warranted, but how about we try not turning this place into “no one can express wanting to change their hair ever without provoking a sh!tstorm” land?

        • Edna

          Thank you Killer Kitten Heels.

          I was NOT making a blanket statement that curls are unprofessional and heavy – and indeed there have been times when I’ve loved my curls. They are just frustrating me at present and I’m trying to find a solution that will provide more manageability and not make look heavier than I am.

        • Anon29

          Sorry, TJ of a TJ: Does being heavy or fat make a woman look unprofessional? I am fat (yes, I admit that) and always envy the tall, skinny women who look so put together and professional. No matter what clothes I wear (nice as they are), I am always conscious of this fact and fear that people don’t take me as seriously or think less of me.

          • Marilla

            Does being heavy or fat make a woman look unprofessional?

            ANSWER: Nope. Not at all. And anyone who gives you that idea should be shut down and kicked off the island. (Any island.) There are many women out there who are heavier and who look incredibly well put-together and professional – I can think of friends of mine as well as style bloggers etc who fit the bill. They’re just not as visible in the media so we don’t see them or think of them as the Ideal Professional Paragon.

          • KLG

            Nope. IMHO your clothes/accessories and how well they fit you determine whether you look professional or not, not your body type.

          • NOLA

            Agree with KLG. If your clothes fit properly and you look put together, you look professional. My weight has been up and down over the years, but my colleagues who are friends have commented that I always looked professional because I found clothes that fit and were flattering.

          • Killer Kitten Heels

            Agree with the others – it’s a fit/accessories thing, not a size thing.

            I get what you mean, though, about feeling like tall/skinny women looking more “put together” – I imagine it’s because we’re conditioned by advertisers to picture clothes on those types of bodies (rather than our own), so the clothes somehow look “more right” on those proportions. I don’t think it’s reality, and I don’t think larger people look any less professional, assuming their clothes fit well and are appropriate to the office/profession/position/etc.

            That said, I do occasionally feel “off” when standing around with slimmer/taller co-workers, but *they* don’t see me that way – it’s my own internal stuff messing with my self-perception.

          • Anon for this

            As someone who is also heavy (OK, fat), I would hope not. I put a lot of time and effort into looking put together. You can be any size and look messy. Or any size and look professional. I think Oprah at any size has looked really professional on TV. And I don’t want to get into bashing other celebrities, but I can think of quite a few thin, skinny ones who always look thisside of a train wreck despite their “perfect” bodies.

          • Wildkitten

            It shouldn’t – but I believe the science/math says that skinny folks get paid more, like how tall people also get paid more.

          • ExcelNinjariffic

            No way. One of my past coworkers who stands out most in my mind as professionally dressed and put together was quite overweight. She always looked great.

            You really just have to dress mindful of your body type. There are shirts I can’t wear because I’m a 32FF that someone with a smaller bust could rock. I can’t wear one-button blazers because I have a weirdly long torso and they’d make me look like I went shopping in the little boys’ section. Etc.

    • Polished Pinstripes

      I have had brazilian blowouts in the past and really loved them. Unfortunately, they became a bit too expensive for me to do on a regular basis. My hair is very wavy and so when I got the blowout, the first week it would be absolutely stick straight, no matter what I did to it. After the first week it loosened a little bit and was pretty much perfect – straight with a little bit of volume after just blowdrying it in the morning with a paddle brush. The straightening relaxes over the months, so it doesn’t really “grow out” the way coloring one’s hair “grows out” – meaning, since the straightening is relaxing all over your hair, your whole head just goes back to its natural state. It’s not that the top part of your hair goes back to being curly while the bottom part is still straight. My brazilian blowouts lasted 5-6 months, but I only washed my hair every 2-3 days and used the brazilian blowout shampoo that my stylish recommended. Again, I loved the effect, but that is up to the individual – my sister got it and really didn’t like it. She wanted her curls back after a week and couldn’t wait until the blowout effect wore off.

      http://www.polishedpinstripes.com

      • Edna

        Thanks! I really appreciate the info. I also cannot afford them on a regular basis and that is one of the big reasons I am concerned about any potential grow out issues.

        • LizNYC

          I just got a groupon/living social coupon for a Brazilian treatment place, so you might want to check one of those sites before you make an appointment. (This particular offer was for 50% off, making it a bit more affordable.)

      • Anon

        Actually the regrowth does grow in curly/wavy/fuzzy, i.e. however your hair is in its natural state. If your hair is longer, the weight will help counteract the regrowth looking too fuzzy. I have shoulder length hair and get the Brazilian Blowout done twice per year. I should probably up it to once every 4-5 months but just don’t want to spend the money. The last few weeks I can tell I need it because it takes twice as long to blow dry and style my hair.

    • rosie

      Hopefully you are still reading…I have very thick and curly hair. I have had various treatments on it, although I have never wanted to go stick straight (I get tired of straight hair on myself after a while, plus it’s harder to maintain, because you see a huge difference between the treated hair and the new growth). Also, you should look into what chemicals are used in the different treatments (not trying to be preachy, but I think it is worth mentioning in case you do not know and would be concerned).

      I once had a perm at an Aveda salon with the curl pattern bigger than my natural curl pattern, and I thought it was a nice way to relax/tidy it up while keeping it curly.

      If you post your city, people here may have suggestions for stylists or salons. If I am in a new city, I typically just pick an Aveda salon. Or you might try a special curly hair cut. There’s a salon in NYC, devachan, that does dry cuts for curly hair. You can check out their website for stylists in other areas that have been trained by them to do the dry cuts (I currently go to a stylist with this background).

    • Senior Attorney

      I have had Brazilian blowouts, and in fact just got one this past weekend after going without for a few months. I have hair that’s not quite curly enough to wear natural because it just looks messy (ME ONLY — I love curly hair on others!) so I generally blow dry/flatiron. But I find it’s like a pendulum swinging between “Wow! Brazilian blowouts are WAY TOO EXPENSIVE!” and “GAH! Blow-dry/flatiron is WAY TOO MUCH TROUBLE!” Recently it swung way over to the second point so I ponied up the dough and am loving my easy morning hair routine.

      Be warned that your hair will be super flat for the first week or so, before it bounces back to a little more normal.

    • Mirror and Mantel

      I think you responded the other day to the Philly meetup thread – if so, I highly recommend Cecily at Mirror and Mantel on 22nd St (a couple blocks off Market St.) for curly hair. She is awesome! No advice re: blowouts.

    • Anonymous

      She probably stopped needing us after she built her own organic greenhouse with the produce they can ONLY get in CA.

        • NOLA

          And that’s probably why she disappeared. It’s sad, but people come and go. No SFBAyAssociate and no Mamabear.

          • amelia earhart

            I was thinking yesterday about people I hadn’t seen around at all lately, like K in Transition, EC MD, k-padi (though I’ve seen her around a little here and there).

          • Silvercurls

            +1. I hope they both are doing well.
            Things go in cycles. In future other wise commenters may appear.

          • Anonymous

            Agreed. I’ve been posting and lurking here for the last 5 years, and the random btchy trolling makes me check this site less and less often. It feels like Mean Girls.

          • zora

            and Herbie, and eek.
            I miss lots of people who stopped reading bc so many people love putting on their Anonymous hats and being mean and uncalled for. So, thanks for that.

          • hoola hoopa

            also missing mamabear and EC MD. and also visiting less frequently because of the bizarre behavior of several commenters.

      • AIMS

        Way harsh, Tai. And totally unnecessary.

        Curious, my guess is that she stopped posting (at least under the same name) based on some of the snarky comments like those above.

        • Nellie

          I agree with your answer, but I also don’t like it when people ask questions like Curious’s. What’s the point of putting someone on blast, other than tempting the trolls to make personal attacks?

          • Monday

            Interesting–I always took these posts to mean “I notice that so-and-so is not around anymore, and I miss her.” (Unless they explicitly say otherwise.) If I was absent from here for a long time I would be flattered to know that somebody asked after me. And, of course, unflattered if a bunch of people replied saying good riddance.

          • Lyssa

            I second what Monday said – I posted a bit leading up to the birth of my baby, then didn’t post for a while afterwards (just because it was hard to get two hands together for long enough to do so, though I often read while I was feeding), and some people asked about me and expressed concern that things had gone OK, and it really was nice to see that people cared like that.

          • AIMS

            I am of the mind with Monday and Lyssa. And I would hope that if someone who used to enjoy this site left because of some petty commenters, maybe they would read that someone is wondering about them and decide to start commenting again.

            There are so many awesome people that used to add their voice here and now don’t. It’s a shame.

          • cbackson

            Count me as another one who’s been around for a loooooooooong time at this point and misses many longtime commentators.

            I see stuff I don’t like here sometimes, but I try to stick it out notwithstanding that, because this community has given so much to me.

          • Nellie

            I agree with all of you. I guess I just get nervous when commentors use others’ names, because it can attract unfortunate Mean Girl results, which in fact happened here. There are several community members whose contributions I miss.

      • Olivia Pope

        People are so crabby today! I’m going to blame the long, unyielding winter taking its toll.

        • Mpls

          It’s warm here! We got above freezing and all the way to 40! It was marvelous! I didn’t wear a coat!

          People at work are making me grouchy, though.

        • Anon

          Long-time poster/lurker here:
          I was just thinking yesterday this thissite is a victim of its own success.
          The original site attracted like-minded, experienced people, and became popular.
          Then the less experienced and less like-minded came along and made it their own so the original community left.

          • Anonymous

            Yup. Like or not, this site isn’t really for “overachieving chicks” Its just for more normal, regular professionals, moms, students. Which is fine. But its become repetative. The regulars have a hive mind against people who are more blunt, and other people lash out with mean comments.

          • hoola hoopa

            Agreed, Anon. I feel like there was a wave of younger, recent college grads a year or two ago. This is a great place to listen when you’re in that phase, but they started to dominate the comments section. Now clothing over $200 is “waaaaaay” to expensive, and we should all think like we’re trying to impress our womens studies professors.

            I feel like the posts have also lost their edge since Kat quit her job.

          • Long time reader/poster

            I agree that the site has lost its edge. I used to read the site regularly and recommended it frequently to younger/newer to the workforce women. Now I admit that I almost “hate read” it. There are some posters here who have great advice to share but it’s getting harder and harder to wade through the nonsense. Now I would be hard pressed to recommend it as a serious place for good information and find myself recommending Ask a Manager for work questions and Capitol Hill Style for work/professional attire questions.

            I also have to agree with hoola hoopa re the site losing something when it became a full time thing for Kat. I had sort of expected the opposite to happen – I thought the posts would become even better, the clothing and accessory selections more thought out, and that there would be a more in-depth discussion on women’s issues in the workplace through a combination of guest posters and Kat’s full time devotion to the endeavor. Unfortunately, I feel like the posts have been watered down while the comments have turned into a blood bath with a serious pecking order/if you’re not with us, you’re against us mentality. It makes me sad because it’s a reflection of what women face in the workplace every day. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.

        • Anonattorney

          That should have been a reply to the two anonymous posters below. Sorry Mpls!

    • Anon

      I’m the poster from yesterday who said the comments were getting too repetitive. Really, the whole site is pretty repetitive. I go to places like Ask a Manager for career questions and I think I’m going to need to go to other sites for fashion advice. I’ve gotten some great one-off tips here, but pictures of a few high-fashion items a week aren’t helping me put together outfits or put all the pieces of my career together. I’m not saying that’s what this site should be, but just that for many posters like myself, I’m not sure how helpful Kat’s posts really are. People really seem to like the finance ones (including me), but they don’t come around that often.

      The comments can be great and often are, but like I said yesterday, the same subjects come up over and over and over again. As for posting anonymously, lots of people, including myself, believe that real-name policies are undemocratic and worse overall.

      • AIMS

        Look I am all for my real life privacy but there is a big difference between picking a random handle and more or less sticking to it and just posting comments under the “anon” or “anonymous” handle. I am all for not revealing your real name and info, but you could just be “Shoe Loving Sally” without divulging all that.

        As a practical matter, it makes it hard to follow any discussion because it’s just a sea of anons and moreover it’s often just unnecessarily judgy because of the cloak of anonymity attached.

        • Anon

          I agree that it can be hard with the sea of anons, but I don’t see a meaningful difference between always posting as Shoe Loving Sally and always posting as Anon. To that user, they’re always consistent – they’re both still posting consistently under their non-real name. It’s not like you “know” the Sallys much better. Hell, for all we know, some of the regular users on this site might actually be just one person or there could be others stealing their names.

  3. Diana Barry

    I am just going to put on my grammarian hat: it is “FEWER” buttons, not “LESS.”

    Ahem. :)

    • tesyaa

      One of my late MIL’s pet peeves (she was an English teacher). I have adopted this pet peeve as my own!

    • Mpls

      Meh – based on my understanding, there was one dude in the 1700s who put out this “rule” and prior to that less was fine for all usages. And that only some grammarians (the ones who seem to insist there are rules that have always been followed and that grammer/language isn’t a fluid thing) to insist that it is a rule. And that less, instead of fewer, is generally acceptable in informal communications. You know, when you don’t have time to stop and think about whether you are using a mass noun or a count noun.

      It doesn’t seem to be as clear a distinction as one might think.

      Also, I don’t think anyone had a problem figuring out what the sentence meant.

  4. Long Hair

    I love this jacket but I have very long hair (mid-back). How in the world could I wear my hair with this jacket? Bun=too severe; long and loose=overbearing when paired with that high collar and epaulets.

    • AIMS

      I do a modified bun. Part your hair in whatever way you like best (I go off-center). Take a small section on each side and twist and pin to the side. Take all the hair and pin in a low bun.

      I find that pinning the hair on each side creates volume and softness so there’s no severity, and the bun still keeps it out of my way. It takes about 2 min. total, which is a major bonus.

    • Ru

      Half up or have the hair in the front pinned back to pull hair away from your face. Having the rest of your hair down seems like a nice contrast to the severity of this jacket.

    • zora

      Just to say: i also like this jacket, wish i could wear it! I love where the peplum-ey waistline is, but unfortunately that high of a collar won’t work on me. ;oP Hope you do buy it and love it!

  5. Guinan

    Long time lurker, first time poster. I need hive help. I will be going to Washington to meet with my representative and senators (I realize the meetings are likely to be with legislative aids), to discuss issues of importance to my profession (medical, not legal). My work clothes are scrubs. My out of work clothes lean toward Eileen Fisher and J. Jill. Is a suit de rigueur? Are separates or a dressy cardigan and trousers acceptable? This will be the start of a professional wardrobe for me. Should the suit be black? TIA.

    • TBK

      The bright young things you see running around the hallways on the Hill will be in suits (the House of Cards shots of the halls of Congress are pretty accurate, right down to everyone wearing badges around their necks and half the staff being about 22 years old), but constituents don’t need to wear full suits. Separates would be fine, but I’d lean toward the very polished end of business casual.

      • WJM-TV

        I agree with TBK, separates and business-side of business casual. Doesn’t have to be black either.

      • roses

        I got the impression that OP wasn’t really going so much as a constituent as a representative of her profession – i.e., similar to a lobbying capacity. I think if that’s the case, a suit is warranted. But if you’re meeting as a private citizen, I agree that separates are fine.

      • Anon for this

        Former hill staff here: agree with TBK. And when some medical groups come they wear Dr jackets :) especially if you’re meeting with your own MOC/Sen, you’ll be fine without a suit.

        • TBK

          Of course! I’m back home but still on modified bed rest (no going out except to the doctor’s, no driving, no standing for long periods, no real housework — but I can get up to get a glass of water or fix a quick meal, and I’ve also done a little bit here and there to clean up the bacheloresque clutter/mess that my husband accumulated while I was away). I’m just past 33 weeks and no signs of labor yet (knock on wood). They won’t let me go past 38 weeks since it’s twins, so I’ve got at most another 4 or 5 weeks. But we met with a neonatologist who told us that, pretty much, anything from here on out will most likely turn out okay. They might need NICU time if they’re born before 36 weeks or so, but it wouldn’t be for very long and they’d have just about as good a chance of growing up perfectly healthy as full term babies. We’re feeling very very relieved!

          • NOLA

            That’s great news! My young colleague had a big shock on Monday night. When she left on Monday, she was saying that the baby was snug in there and not moving. That night, she went into labor – 10 days early. Baby born early in the morning and he’s beautiful. We’ve been scrambling to cover the few classes she still had scheduled. Totally unexpected.

          • LizNYC

            Yay! So glad you’re home and able to move around a bit! Every time I’ve seen your comments, I’ve thought about you in that hospital bed. So glad you’re on home turf (even if that means reintroducing your husband to the laundry basket or dishwasher, if he’s anything like mine :).

          • zora

            YAAYYY! Congratulations to both you and the boys for being overachievers already ;o) And thanks so much for giving us the updates, I love hearing about those little peanuts!

          • Jo March

            That’s so awesome. I’m 5w further along than you, and you have really been in both my thoughts and Professor Bhaer’s. We are *so glad* the twins have hung in there this long! It’s such a relief hitting the point where you know things will be pretty much fine even if it’s technically early. ALL THE INTERNET HUGS AND GOOD WISHES YOUR WAY!

    • roses

      You absolutely should wear a suit. Doesn’t have to be black, navy or gray are just fine too. You should consider how often you will have to wear it when considering where to buy it from. If this is going to be a once-a-year kind of a thing for you, you don’t have to worry about getting something very high quality – I recommedn looking at the Limited or a similar place. But if you are going to have more meetings like this, I’d start with something a little higher quality that will last longer. If Eileen Fisher works for you, try Anne Klein or, if you can afford it, Lafayette 148. You can find both at most department stores (Macy’s, Neiman, Bloomies, Lord & Taylor).

      • ADL

        I actually have to disagree with this – you don’t need suit. I am a lobbyist – and a former Hill staffer. At my most recent association, it was for physicians. If this is your first trip, and you don’t have the extra funds for it, you wear something on the business side of the equation. Separates, i.e. cardigan and trousers are fine. As a staffer, I will tell you that I did not judge anyone for not wearing a business suit – if you look professional, then you will be fine. The more important part is to know what you are talking about – study the information from your association and be able to say how does this issue relate to me in my everyday working life.

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      Definitely agree with TBK, but also wanted to affirm that, if you did want to buy a suit (you mentioned “start of a professional wardrobe,” which makes me think you’re anticipating more functions like this in the future), it absolutely doesn’t have to be black – if you were going to invest in a suit, look for something classic and well-fitted, in a non-trendy color and without any “trend” detailing (like peplum, for example, or leather trim or something).

      • zora

        In this vein, if you are moving toward more lobbying like this in a professional capacity, I recommend getting (eventually) two full suits. I have a pant suit and a skirt suit, and then a couple other separates that can go with the suit pieces (tweed skirt, etc). That gives me enough pieces to mix and match for a whole week of lobby visits, and i can wear full suits for more important days, separates on other days.

        I’ve also invested in two pairs of really good heels, Born and Indigo by Clarks, that have a stacked heel and rubber soles and are really comfortable. I do still carry a pair of good slip on flats in my bag tho, and I switch out my shoes for flats if I have to get to another building, or cross from the House to the Senate side, then slip my heels back on just before I head into the next meeting. That has saved my feet.

    • PolyD

      Just wanted to mention – the marble floors can be slippery. Be careful with shoe choices.

      • L

        Make sure you don’t have an exposed nail on your heel. This, plus marble ends very badly. Also, make sure you don’t wear knee high boots under your pants. They can often set off the metal detectors and then you’re having to shuffle your things on and off while in line.

        Make sure you clean out your bag as well, take off your coat before you go through security and you bring business cards with you. You’ll be golden!

        Final tip (hopefully you’re going with a group, but in case you’re solo). On the House side, the room numbers are funky. For example, in Cannon they are all normal three digit (so room 300 is on floor 3). In Longworth all the rooms start with one so 1300 is on 3. In Rayburn they all start with 2, so again 2300, on the 3rd floor. Some people aren’t told this and freak out about trying to figure out where they’re going. When in doubt ask someone!

        Have fun!

    • Ellen

      Yay! I just got into work b/c my door got stuck open and I had to get the super to come up and sand it down so I can open AND close it! FOOEY! The manageing partner is mad at me b/c he had to do my calendar call. I told him I could NOT leeve my house with the door stuck in the OPEN position! FOOEY on the manageing partner for getting mad b/c of that!!!

      As for the OP, definitely a nice suit, mabye Calvin Klien or Eves Sant Lauraent. You do NOT want to be weareing scrub’s even tho you are in the Medical Field. I knew a guy when I was in law school who worked as an Orderley in GWU Hospital and he ALWAYS wore green scrub’s around town b/c peeople thought he was a DOCTOR. But he was onley getting his BA at GWU. There were a coupel of women that got tricked into thinkeing he was an MD, but most could tell he was not b/c he was tryeing to grow a mustahe, but it was NOT workeing for him, so he looked like Dookie Houzer. FOOEY!

      But you do NOT have that probelem, so just go to Bloomie’s or L&T and ask them to help you dress PROPERLY for a meeting with a congressman. They know what you will need. The good thing is that the clothe’s you buy will be useful in the future. YAY!!

    • zora

      If you are coming as a part of a group to lobby, separates are perfectly acceptable. I would try to wear a blazer of some kind instead of a cardigan, though.
      And I will ditto the recommendation to think about footwear. You will be walking a lot on shiny marble floors. Comfortable shoes are more important than wearing heels to look more professional.

      And another ditto to the Dr. coats suggestion. Lots of constituent groups do that, you should talk to the rest of the group you are coming with about that. I think it makes quite an impression. ;o)

      • zora

        Also, just to put your mind at rest, a LOT of the people and organizations that come to the hill to lobby are wearing tshirts and shorts, or a branded matching tshirt, or crazy hippie tiedye and hemp pants. So, really, if you are wearing nice slacks, a blazer and comfortable shoes, you will be WAY ahead of the game, I promise ;o) (And I am referring to the people on my own fly-ins, no snark or judgment intended)

    • guinan

      OP here. Thank you so much for your help. I think I’ll go with a navy ( is there such a thing anymore, or are they all just dark blue?) or charcoal suit. I appreciate the footwear suggestions, too. TBK, I’m thrilled to hear you’re home and your babes are still “within”. Following your progress has made my winter more bearable. I would have trouble taking me seriously if I showed up in a lab coat!

  6. NYNY

    Need help staying motivated: Office is in transition, with shifting TO and changing faces, and the promotion I was working for has been sidelined for now. The position I was in line for has been eliminated to create a new higher position in another reporting line, which has been filled and which I didn’t want. So now, I’m being shifted back to projects I was on 6 months ago. They are all in disarray, so I’m cleaning up messes I didn’t make. And I just want to say f it all.

    I’m looking for a new job. What else can I do in the meantime?

  7. Outdoor blogs

    Can anyone recommend a good website, magazine, or blog for women and the outdoors? I used to like Outside Magazine, but it’s way too geared for men these days. I’d be especially interested in anything having to do with skiing or hiking. TIA!

    • Kanye East

      I stopped reading Outside for this reason. Ski and Alpinist are a little less bro-riented, although Ski is mostly about gear and gear reviews, and Alpinist is more hardcore mountaineering with a lot of pretty pictures.

    • SoCalAtty

      There is a great group of women on the Backpacker magazine forum – and there is a women’s forum there as well.

    • Mary Ann Singleton

      I’m looking for the same. I like Bicycling specifically for the cycling part, but still would love a more general outdoor one that isn’t so geared towards men.

    • Outside

      I used to subscribe to Outside too, but dropped my subscription because it turned into Esquire for the manly outdoor set. A lot of the articles are still good but I just can’t bring myself to go back.

  8. CapHillAnon

    Advice for narrow shaft, knee-high boots for tall people? There have been plenty of helpful comments on locating boots for ladies with narrow calves, but I’m having a lot of trouble finding 1) narrow boots with 2) a shaft tall enough to hit anywhere near my knee. I’ve been eyeing Stuart Weitzman’s 5050, which are lovely (but at $500, way too much) and 9 West Pristeen. Those are technically above-the-knee, though. Does it look strange for someone to wear an above-the-knee boot as a knee-high boot? With the Pristeen, the boot has a built in fold area where the knee would presumably bend, but that spot is actually inches below my knee. Would this look strange? Can anyone recommend any others?
    I didn’t think my legs are oddly narrow or long until I started shopping for flat, knee-highed boots. I’ve tried on so many!

    • marketingchic

      I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve given up and gone to ankle boots and booties.

    • Mpls

      Most knee high boots hit me at about the top of the calf, such that I have at least an inch or two between the top of the boot and my knee cap. Which I think is totally normal and fine to wear that way if you like the boots. I don’t expect knee-high boots to be AT the knee. I consider it a descriptor to differentiate between mid calf boots/short boots/booties/ankle boots. I’m working with a 34 or 35 inch inseam, for reference.

      If the over the knee boot hits where you want it to and looks okay, and doesn’t flop around, then wear it. I think either of those would be fine to wear as knee high, if that’s what fits your legs.

    • NYNY

      Duo boots (online) sells by shaft width, so you can get a custom fit. I love them for my wide dancer’s calves, but they would be great for narrow calves as well. They also specify shaft height, so you can sort by that.

    • ABC

      I have a pair of Sam Edelman boots that are relatively narrow and also relatively long (i.e., come up somewhat close to my knee). Stuart Weitzman 5050s are the best bet…. If only they were cheaper!

  9. Anon

    Anyone have a recommendation for a decent k-cup cappuccino / latte? My husband and I received a Keurig as a gift and hope that some fancier coffee drinks will make Starbucks less tempting.

    • emeralds

      I worked in coffee for years, but have never used a Keurig outside of the one in my office, so I might be off-base just with that + a basic Google…but you’re not going to be able to make a cappuccino or latte (or any type of bevvie requiring steamed milk) without a milk steamer, which is a separate apparatus. I believe you can get flavored k-cups, based on what we’ve got in the office, but again, that’s going to be straight flavored coffee, not something like a latte or cappuccino.

      What I would do to maximize a Keurig (and reduce environmental waste) is to get a reusable steel k-cup, buy quality coffee beans from a local roaster or purveyor (or I mean, the grocery store), and then get those beans ground for a Keurig. Your local people should know how to grind them correctly, or you can grind them yourself with the machine in the grocery store. Can’t remember the grind off the top of my head, but google it.

      If you really want the steamed-milk beverages, get a milk steamer and then teach yourself how to use it properly. There are a ton of tutorials on YouTube. Nothing else is really a substitute for that, IMO, if you really want the fluffy hot-milk foam effect.

      • linkedin question

        I love the chai tea latte K cups. You should be able to get them at your grocery store in the coffee area. Beware – they’re tasty and not low in calories. I just went through a box and I’m trying to not buy them again for a while.

      • Anon

        We’re definitely using reusable k-cups for every day coffee, but I was hoping to find an easy alternative for days we wanted something a little fancier. Then again, I could just buy some extra dark roast coffee (or espresso) and we could steam the milk ourselves.

    • Greensleeves

      I used to have a K-cup Keurig and don’t remember any good latte or cappuccino cups. (I now have a newer Keurig using vue cups and the choices are better, although it’s definitely not a real latte.) Anyway, here was my workaround. I got a little milk frother for about $2 at IKEA. I’d heat some milk in my cup in the microwave, froth it quick, then put the mug under the Keurig to brew my coffee. It made a quick, acceptable substitute for a Starbucks latte IMO.

      • Anon

        Yes – my friend has a Nespresso and it’s fantastic! But the little pods don’t work in a Keurig, unfortunately.

        • Kanye East

          Whoops, I misread your post. I thought you were looking for a fully automatic machine to make espresso/steamed milk drinks, not a particular k-cup for your Keurig. Here I am, day drinking again.

    • S in Chicago

      Check out Target. For some reason, the one near me carries the most K-Cup selection of any place around. I don’t know who makes it, but there is a company that puts out a K Cup and little packet in the same box. You put the packet in your cup and then run the K-Cup brew over it while stirring, and it makes it really creamy and extra foamy. Wonderful. They have several flavors, but the caramel macchiato is my favorite. I also like the K-cup Kalhua flavor. I’ll sometimes add almond joy-flavored creamer. It’s like dessert in a mug. Bed Bath & Beyond often carries a good selection, too. Sadly, most grocery stores near me carry the same basic flavors all the time.

    • ADL

      I would suggest buying a separate machine to make the milk hot/frothy/steamed – I purchased one from Costco (it goes in the dishwasher). Google “capresso froth pro” and that’s what I have.

  10. Long white dress

    Hi all,
    I am looking for a long white (wedding) dress for my upcoming wedding. The problem is I’m getting married in a few weeks so I can’t order from a traditional bridal store (not enough time). I’ve looked at J Crew and Ann Taylor so far and don’t love anything, although a few J Crew gowns are in my maybe pile… anyone have suggestions for similar places to get this kind of simple dress? I would like to spend under 1k and am not married (ha) to the idea of it being white, but I would like it to be predominantly white if patterned, or at least very light (blush, light grey, etc.) and floor length. Ability to order online is a must!

    • Anne Shirley

      Have you tried BHLDN and David’s Bridal? What about Nordstrom/Neiman Marcus in the regular dress departments. And congrats!

    • AEK

      Department-store evening departments (online) are your friend for something like this! I got mine at Nordstrom (*not* wedding salon, just regular evening); I tried on a ton from Bluefly dot com, too.

      • AIMS

        This is what I was going to say, too. I have been seeing so many white/ivory evening dresses lately in the non-bridal departments.

        If you like the Anthropologie/vintage aesthetic, BHLDN dresses are also pretty gorgeous.

        I would just find a place with a free return policy and order a bunch of dresses to try on.

        • Sydney Bristow

          Oh that reminds me that I’ve seen long white dresses on Zappos before. Free shipping both ways and overnight shipping if you’re a VIP. Their customer service is so great that if you aren’t already a VIP that they’d give you the status if you call and explain you’re trying to find your wedding dress.

    • Sydney Bristow

      The Dessy website has a section for quick ship dresses. They have a bunch of choices under $1000 and some white long bridesmaids dresses that are even cheaper.

      Congratulations!!

    • K

      Bloomingdales had a selection of long white gowns when I was looking. Nicole Miller is also great. Good luck!

    • cbackson

      I wore a J.Crew dress when I was married – it’s a style they no longer carry (Avery), and it’s tailored pretty small (I ordered a 4 and tailored it down a bit). Were you to decide it was to your taste and might fit you, I’m happy to send it to you at no cost to you.

      (I know that may seem like a weird offer, but although my marriage didn’t work out, I loved that dress and would love it to have a happy future.)

      • cbackson

        And I will not be offended if it’s not your style or you’re not interested :-)

        • NOLA

          I keep thinking I need to attempt to get mine cleaned and either give it away or sell it on consignment. The local consignment store wanted it but it has a champagne stain on the front so I need to see if it’ll come out. Will an old champagne stain come out of silk? I should have had it cleaned immediately but instead stuffed it in a bag. It’s a beautiful dress – really too bad.

          • Pink

            I randomly left a coffee stain on a white silk shirt and it came out with gentle shampoo washing (after 2months of me procrastinating).

          • NOLA

            Interesting! It’s white silk with pearl beading. Very vintage and romantic looking. Everyone thought it had been in my family. And so not my style now. But it was beautiful.

      • Silvercurls

        Not weird but nice! If your dress doesn’t have a future with cbackson there are various organizations that provide dresses to brides.

      • Long white dress

        cbackson that’s so sweet!! It sounds like it would probably be too small for me (I am thinking I would need a 4 or maybe 6) but that dress is beautiful. What a kind offer!

        • cbackson

          I hope you find something you really love!

          (And if anyone else is in a similar situation, likes this style, and would fit it – please do let me know. I’d love the dress to have a happy home.)

    • Alice

      Try BDHLN.com…some of their dresses are under $1,000. Also, I’d look to see if anything strikes your fancy at Nordstroms or other department stores, or even consider renting a dress from Rent the Runway.

      Alternatively, you could try to buy a used wedding dress from someone your size, as long as you could find one in your area that you could try on first. Tradesy Weddings and Preownedweddingdresses.com, as well as Ruffled Blog’s Recycled Bride, have used wedding dress postings that (I believe) you can filter by location.

      Do you have any style constraints?

    • marketingchic

      Sites I would check: Nordstorm, Von Maur, Bloomingdales, Dillards, Lord and Taylor (paging ELLEN!). I’d also try searching terms like “long white formal dress” at shopstyle dot com.

      • Ru

        ELLEN knows her stuff – Lord and Taylor on 5th Ave has an extensive dress selection.

    • Wildkitten

      JCrew had some in the sale section for an additional half off on Monday – might be worth a look.

    • Reiss Smithfield

      You can buy floor samples from David’s Bridal if they have your size in the store (or at a nearby store).

    • Diana Barry

      If you are near Boston, VOWS (in Watertown) has sample dresses that you can buy right away, although you (1) have to fit the sample and (2) have to get it cleaned first. But a great selection!

    • Olivia Pope

      Also, check your local craigslist! You will probably strike out, but I got my wedding dress that way.

    • TO Lawyer

      Shopbop has some dresses although I think most of them are over your price range. You may also want to try BCBG because they have some pretty white floor-length dresses under $1K.

    • L

      You could call a local bridal store and see if they’d be willing to let you buy a sample or special occasion dress. never hurts to ask!

      • hoola hoopa

        +1 for floor samples!

        I found the higher end stores turned over their samples more frequently so they were in better condition. I got a designer gown for the same price or less as JCrew and walked out with it that day!

    • Brant

      if you HAPPEN to be in or near boston (or want an excuse to come visit), try the VOWS bridal outlet (storefront from bridepower dot com). it’s in watertown, ma. It is probably only worth a big trip if you happen to be a sample size (wedding dress size 6, 8, 10, 12). I was a wedding dress size 10 and they had TONS of gorgeous dresses, ready for me to take home that day. And lots under 1k.

    • ExcelNinjariffic

      How many weeks is a few weeks? I had to plan my wedding in 4 weeks and a local seamstress was able to make a dress perfectly tailored to my measurements for the cost of the fabric (I chose Italian silk and pretty beaded lace, so that was about $800, you could DEFINITELY pick much less expensive fabrics if you’d like to save on costs) and about $150 for her time (it was a very simple design, probably similar to what you’re considering). David’s Bridal and other shops basically said there would be no way they could order in a dress that I picked off the rack AND get it altered so I had to go with a “custom” dress. I’m so happy that I did, it was so worth it!

    • buffybot

      Also, if you are looking for something a bit more contemporary/fashiony, ShopBop has a wedding boutique. Not sure how quickly their orders are shipped, however.

  11. Sydney Bristow

    I used ZocDoc for the first time this past Friday. It’s completely genius and solves my phone issues and general frustration trying to make appointments. One question though. I got an email saying my appointment was scheduled but not confirmed yet. Should I expect to get another email (or a call) confirming my appointment? If so, when? FWIW, my appointment is next Wednesday.

    • Ru

      You normally will get an email saying that it’s confirmed. A day, maybe two days later. I’ve sometimes called and confirmed the confirmation because I’m paranoid but I’ve learned to trust zocdoc.

    • Sydney Bristow

      Ok thanks. I might call to confirm if I don’t hear anything this week.

  12. Anon

    Re wedding dress – have you tried vintage dresses at etsy? I brought my 1950s wedding dress off etsy. For me it was great because I there were no stores I could shop at where I’m living, I got something non-white traditional that I could wear again, and vintage sizing fits me better. I had thought I might need to do some alterations, but in the end it fit great. You’ll probably have better luck if you are on the smaller end of the size spectrum for vintage. But digging around etsy there were also a some dress makers that claim they can make a dress in a couple of weeks (for a rush fee). If it’s a simple wedding dress you want, it should be doable in a couple of weeks – have you asked a seamstress?

    • Reiss Smithfield

      I’ve seen some great dresses on Ruby Lane website. They are a vintage site… and seems to be actually more vintage than Etsy.

  13. Reiss Smithfield

    Anyone has cool date ideas with your significant other? Ideally, these date ideas would be fun (ideally at least somewhat physical and not food-related) and cheap (free to $30). If you know places to go / do in the SF Bay area, that’d be even better.

    I just reread this 2008 article from NY Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/12/health/12well.html?_r=0) that doing new and exciting stuff on dates can actually alter your brain chemistry to make you feel more excited about your partner.

    “Rather than visiting the same familiar haunts and dining with the same old friends, couples need to tailor their date nights around new and different activities that they both enjoy, says Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook. The goal is to find ways to keep injecting novelty into the relationship. The activity can be as simple as trying a new restaurant or something a little more unusual or thrilling — like taking an art class or going to an amusement park.”

    We usually fall into the dinner / movie routine… and while those are nights, I want to be more active and more engaged with life and each other.

    • Anon

      Go to the beach in Half Moon Bay or Pescadero or go see the elephant seals at Ano Nuevo. Pescadero has great food, including Duarte’s or the taqueria across the street.

      • SoCalAtty

        I also highly recommend Pasta Moon in Half Moon Bay, and in Pescadero there is a fun place to stay called Costanoa. Harley Farms is a goat farm near there, and the tours are not too expensive, and you can buy their products in the shop afterwards.

    • anon-oh-no

      for valentines day, my husband and i took a tennis lesson together. we belong to a tennis club and both play regularly, but are not at the same level and never play with each other. So i got a sitter for 2 hours on sat afternoon and surprised my husband with a tennis “date.” We sat in the bar at the club afterward and had a drink, which made it even more fun.

    • Anon

      Check out Groupon or similar sites for ideas. Right now I’m looking at buying a Paint Nite groupon where you go to a local pub and they guide you through painting something – I know several people that have done this and loved it! I’ve also bought cheap tickets to concerts and other events this way too.

    • Portia

      Volunteer to walk dogs or play with cats at an animal shelter (even if the shelter won’t let you formally volunteer without a repeat commitment, at most places you can show up like you would if you were interested in adopting and take dogs out for a walk or to play fetch), buy a tub of sidewalk chalk and write cheesy compliments/love notes on sidewalks downtown or in a park (be careful about writing on buildings – even if it’s just chalk you can get in trouble for this), go to an elementary school playground to relive childhood memories playing foursquare and tether-ball, go to the mall or airport and make up stories about people’s lives, feed local wildlife (ducks or pigeons), do a walking tour of a local historic area.

      Double/triple dates can be a fun way to change up date night as well – my favorite group activities include bowling, photo scavenger hunts (each couple is a team), and cake decorating/gingerbread house decorating/cookie decorating/pumpkin carving/watermelon carving contests.

      • Cb

        Thanks for the reminder. I’ve been meaning to contact the organisation that works to help elderly people stay in their home. We thought they might have someone with a dog that needs walking.

    • LH

      I haven’t used it but How About We for couples has a lot of experience dates you can buy and they cover the Bay Area.

      • Miss Behaved

        I was just going to suggest this. Joanna from the A Cup of Jo (joannagoddard.blogspot.com) blog does these dates with her husband. So far, I think, they’ve learned to juggle and learned to play pool, as well as had massages in their home.

      • Reiss Smithfield

        I tried How About We for a few months, and liked it OK. The problem is that How About We has a lot of meal + drink at restaurants, and we are not quite that interested in those. Plus, many of the “free dates” that How About We offer are either free if you do it on your own, or really cheap. I figured we can take the $18/month I’ve been paying for their membership and spend it on something.

        I can see it working if you go on a date every week, but for now I am going to try to “do it alone” until the end of summer and see if I feel differently about How About We, then reevaluate whether to re-up my membership.

    • Anon

      One of our most favorite dates ever was when we got a couples massage (though this was not cheap) and then rented a private outdoor hot tub at a local spa (this was fairly inexpensive. I think it was $30 for an hour or something like that.) It was so nice to sit together under the stars (and do other stuff. . ;)

      We also like rollerblading on some of the nice paths that go through our city, hiking and having a picnic (really like when we can get out early enough to hike half way when it is just daybreak, stop and eat–usually pack something like breakfast burritos and fruit–and have mimosas as the sun comes up and the hike the rest of the way), ice skating, and bowling. We also like going to this local bar that does a trivia game night. Competing against other teams is so fun, haha!

    • CKB

      Bowling can be fun, especially with other couples. What about museums and/or science centers/aquariums? Going for walks, hiking, biking, etc are fun too.

    • Miz Swizz

      My husband and I have gone geocaching and that’s fun and outdoorsy. There’s more info at geocaching.com but basically there are people who hid caches in various places and you can find the GPS coordinates through the site (haven’t tried the app) and go look for them. The treasure hunt aspect is fun, it gets you outdoors and it really makes you look at your surroundings.

    • Edna

      My boyfriend and I recently went ice skating together and we had a blast! Other past dates have included: riding bikes, playing tourist for a day (riding around on a sightseeing tour bus) in our city, and taking advantage of various Groupons and Living Social deals.

    • hoola hoopa

      We plan theme dates. One person picks a theme and activities to go with it. The other tries to guess the theme as the date goes on. It’s fun and really does get us doing a wider variety of activities.

      • zora

        LOVE!! I used to throw theme parties, this is even better! can I join your relationship? ;o)

      • Sydney Bristow

        This is genius! I too love a good theme party so we need to try this!

    • Sasha

      I rock climb and a lot of guys seem to enjoy it when I take them to the rock gym on a date. It’s fun and women are usually better than men at it when you first start out, if it intimidates you. It might not be cheap the first time if you want to top rope and take a belay lesson, but you can get Groupons, etc.

    • ExcelNinjariffic

      Paint Nite was featured on this blog a few weeks ago. My DH and I did it and had a lot of fun! Our paintings are now hanging in the guest bedroom.

      There’s a trampoline park near/in San Jose that’s fun (actually looks like there are a lot, I just googled “trampoline san jose” and there are a ton of results).

      Go wine tasting at wine rooms (no need to drive to Sonoma/Napa, although that is of course amazing as well). For example there is a J Lohr with free tastings in downtown San Jose.

      We go ice skating at Sharks ice, and go for a hike or bike ride every weekend.

        • ExcelNinjariffic

          Be glad you don’t, because last time we were there they got us tipsy on higher-end stuff and we walked away with two $50 bottles, and a wine club membership ;-)

          (Not that I am not enjoying the wine club membership! Ha!)

    • Senior Attorney

      Mr. S.A. and I used to do local food tours, which were super fun and also helped us discover local bars and restaurants we wouldn’t have found otherwise. Check Groupon or similar and see if they have them in your area.

    • chilledcoyote

      Free stuff my sweetie and I like to do (we live in the East Bay):

      -Frisbee golf – there are several courses nearby that are free, and it’s kind of a fun way to get some movement in and people watch.
      -Kite flying at the park – also free, really nice to bring some music, some wine, some chairs and chill out. Bonus points because the child can come and have fun too!
      -Trail walks – there are tons in the East Bay, check out East Bay Regional Parks; the Bay Trail now goes onto the new Bay Bridge, that’s fun too.
      -Bike riding – we’ve been enjoying that a lot recently
      -Gardening / checking out the neighborhood gardens – he has started growing me all kinds of herbs and seasonal produce, so we get to eat from the garden regularly. Love this.
      -Tennis on free courts – usually we don’t even have to wait, and there are bunches in Oakland and Berkeley.
      -Art Walk / 1st Friday – can be a crazy place, but can also be really fun and cheap.
      -Wine tasting – lots of small tasting rooms in Oakland, many are cheaper than their sister tasting rooms in Napa/Sonoma.

      Those are some of our favs! Hope it’s helpful.

  14. A Nonny Moose

    In the same vein as Reiss… DC suggestions? It’s going to be so beautiful on Saturday. I’m sure my normal go to outdoorsy activities will be swamped (Old Rag, Great Falls). Any day trip ideas?

    • locomotive

      When I lived in DC, I liked going to the national zoo and then doing one of the tiny hidden trail hikes near van ness (Soapstone Valley) and there’s a network of small, hidden trails (totally empty on a Sunday! except for a few trail runners). It’s not very physically demanding but it’s magical feeling like you’ve suddenly been hidden from the city given that it’s steps away.

      I’ve heard Roosevelt island is also fun to explore, but it might be swamped on a nice weekend day.

      • chilledcoyote

        When I lived in DC, I would make weekend trips to the National Gallery of Art. It’s free!

    • emeralds

      Wineries in Loudoun or Frederick (there are a ton along Route 15). Go over to Winchester, have lunch on the walking mall (try the Italian place at the far end or the Thai restaurant), stroll around the Kernstown Battlefield, see a movie at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema (as awesome as it sounds). Or head down to Front Royal and hike in the Andy Guest/Shenandoah River State Park; eat at the Caribbean place, Soul Mountain, downtown.

    • rosie

      National Arboretum! I agree that Roosevelt Island is nice, but it was quite busy when we went in November (the parking lot was almost full, and not much quiet while walking around). You could head up to Baltimore and just explore (not much experience, but Fell’s Point seemed nice to walk around and find somewhere to eat). Harper’s Ferry is another option for outdoor/historical place.

  15. To Move or Not to Move

    I need a second opinion on whether I’m being unreasonable. I have been living in a large studio apartment for nearly 8 years. The rent is super cheap, and even though the unit needs general maintenance, it’s livable. Because of the cheap rent, I have not been insistent on repairs. So let’s just say the unit is charming but a little crumbling around the edges. Nothing that would make me want to leave my neighborhood. Living in such a cheap apartment has allowed me to have all sorts of options as far as travel, and saving for retirement, and just flexibility with what I want to do with my life. Recently, my SO (now DH) moved in, and we have managed to share the space just fine, thought it’s pretty tight now that we have a house full of wedding presents. We are month to month on our lease, and plan to stay in our city for another year, at which point it is likely that we will move to a new city. It makes so much sense to stay put, continue to have plenty of disposable income not tied up in housing, and leave our options open for moving away at will. Here’s the problem: a steadily increasing cockroach issue. It started last summer (after never having seen a bug for years!). We keep our apartment immaculate, no food or other cleanliness issues. The exterminator has come regularly and determined they are coming in from another unit…but they can’t determine where. They might be coming in through the pipes? I have no idea, but it grosses me out SO BAD. DH has been spraying for them religiously, so now we usually find a (mostly dead) one every couple weeks. But today I had to kill a live one in the kitchen, and decided I was done, that I was ready to move. This probably sounds so silly, but I’m trying to weigh whether it’s worth it to suck it up and live with the bug issue, since maybe all city apartments have this problem from time to time? Or if finding roaches every week isn’t normal, and I am totally justified in moving somewhere and spending extra money so as not to have to deal with it anymore. Other relevant info is that the current building management is terrible, so no recourse in having them help us get to the source of the problem. Also, we can easily afford a better apartment. I don’t know why this is so hard…I think because it terrifies me to give up the flexibility and freedom of my current living situation. What would you guys do?

    • locomotive

      So if you live together in a super cheap apartment with double income, I assume this means you can upgrade to a slightly less cheap income and hopefully still achieve your savings/retirement/travel goals without TOO much difficulty. It sounds like there should be some wiggle room there.

      I have lived in a city for 3 years in a cheaper place and my personal line is drawn at cockroaches. They are nasty, nasty things, especially if you can’t do anything about them. In the past, I’ve put up with mice (and got a mouser who is both adorable and highly effective at keeping the place mouse-free) but I draw the line at cockroaches. I think it sounds reasonable, especially if you’ve already lived there 8 years, to at least start looking around at slightly more expensive options where the management is better or there are no bug problems.

    • emeralds

      I’d stay and keep all non-refrigerated foods in Tupperware. But then I grew up on a farm so my level of being bothered by bugs is extremely low.

    • Anonymous

      I would move. I lived with cockroaches for a year because our management was only spraying MY apartment and not the surrounding units (if they are you in apartment, be sure that they will travel to yours. A proper landlord would repeatedly treat the entire building. We got cockroaches this fall, and my landlord was aggressive about getting rid of them in the entire house (I live in an apartment in an old house) and to my surprise the problem actually got solved–as opposed to the previous place I lived in. Be sure that if you see one, there are actually hundreds. They can spread all sorts of diseases, and one of the biggest problems is that even if you are meticulous about food storage they are attracted to water. If you are month to month I would move if you can.

    • Pink

      I grew up in a place where roaches fly at you and are a fact of life, so… I would personally just buy some food grade diatomaceous earth for $20 and spread it around the areas where the roaches might come in from. (mostly since you’re moving to a new city in a year)

      Only you know what’s a dealbreaker but it sounds like you like the financial freedom of having your cheap studio.

    • Anon

      I would probably try to upgrade, because I can’t stand cockroaches either. We live in an area where they are really common, especially in the summer. We have found those combat roach bait things work well, as well as making sure the drains are sealed when not in use (so put plugs and covers on drains, etc.) and making sure that there are no holes at all in the wall. We had a ton one summer until we found a tiny hole right along the baseboard in the closet. Once that was sealed up we didn’t have anymore.

    • bb

      I resolved a similar problem by doing this: examine around the pipes in your kitchen and bathroom. (We had large gaps around our kitchen piping, for example.) If there are gaps, stuff with steel wool. Caulk all cracks in kitchen, bathroom. Sprinkle boric acid behind cabinets, under couches, in all little out of the way nooks and crannies. The boric acid is not toxic to people but kills cockroaches when they walk through it, and they also track it back to their nests. It may take a few generations to kill all of them, but we dealt with a SERIOUS roach problem in a very old (but otherwise very nice) building this way after the building’s exterminators failed. The bait they use is not nearly so effective as boric acid. Yes, the prep work took several hours, but the problem was then GONE a few weeks later.

      • hoola hoopa

        +1 to borax but make sure it’s out of reach to pets and children. It *IS* toxic if ingested.

        Although I’d move if they didn’t leave very soon because I have a visceral reaction to roaches.

      • bb

        Forgot to add that you should always wipe up any water that’s spilled — even wipe out the sink after each use. They can eat *anything* (including stuff we would not think of as food) so putting food away without wiping up water, which they need, will not do much.

    • Kathryn

      Ugh, this is nasty. I’ve also lived with mice (in the past) but cockroaches are a totally different ballgame to me. I am so sorry for you. I don’t have any advice on how to get rid of them, but I do think it’s reasonable for you to move. The thought of them being anywhere near me at night would push me over the edge.

      • To Move or Not to Move

        The very first one we found was on my bed, this past summer. I am still horrified by that one.

      • L

        The very first one we found was on my bed, this past summer. I am still horrified by that one.

    • Olivia Pope

      I understand how you feel because I. HATE. ROACHES.

      I would look around for buildings with affordable, shorter term rentals since you are leaving in a year. (Normal rentals may still go for a 7 month lease, then month-to-month after) See what your options are. There could be a relatively inexpensive studio or one bedroom in a neighborhood you like.

      bb sounds like she knows what she’s talking about, so follow her suggestions while you examine your other rental options. In a month, you may have no more roaches or you may have found another inexpensive place.

      I personally would not move into an expensive place in your situation though.

      • To Move or Not to Move

        Thanks guys. I feel better at least knowing that I’m not the only one who would react this way. The worst part of it is that I usually find them first thing in the morning or right before bed. First of all they startle me, and then running around trying to kill them just sucks when you’re trying to wind down for bed or get out of the house for work. So I guess this is more an emotional issue for me that anything else. And I can’t help the reaction I have!

        • Anonymous

          No I completely understand, I had a total emotional breakdown when I had cockroaches this year. You just feel so violated.

        • AIMS

          Roaches are my biggest deal breaker. I would figure out a way to get rid of them or move. Some people want fresh paint, I want an insect free apartment.

    • Anne Shirley

      I would move, because I wouldn’t want to be living in a studio with someone else. A year is a long time.

    • Anon

      Move! Sometimes it is okay to spend money on something that seems wasteful (i.e., moving a year before you plan to move again) because it impacts your quality of life in a real way. This is one of those times.

    • LizNYC

      I would move! (I bet someone got an animal, leaves the food bowl out all day and has somehow attracted roaches. At least that’s what happened in one of my friend’s apartments.) Anyway, I would also second moving because you could end up moving the roaches with you. Even though you’re spraying. They could hitchhike in your stuff. No cheap rent is worth potential stepping on one of those buggers in the middle of the night…

    • Jenna Rink

      My husband and I spent three years living in an apartment that we hated because we appreciated the flexibility of being month to month. Yes, my therapist raised her eyebrows SO HIGH when I mentioned that!!! My vote is an enthusiastic move. I couldn’t believe how much of a quality of life improvement moving was, and we weren’t even dealing with a pest problem!

    • PinkKeyboard

      I HATE roaches and have very high rental insurance because I told my husband if I see one I will torch our house and never look back (I’m mostly kidding). I would consider moving just because if they lay eggs in your furniture/belongings you will infest your new location as well. I have no issues with other bugs, even spiders, but roaches just kill me. blechhhhh.

  17. Anon

    I’ve been in my current position for about 9 months. I posted a couple months ago that I was really worried about my performance in the position and that it was causing me a lot of anxiety. It’s a total switch from my old job and it’s in a niche area. Our group has been working long hours lately to meet an end of February deadline and I think my boss was starting to see the stress in my eyes. I don’t mind working long hours from time to time but it was beginning to really stress me out that I wasn’t sure if I was meeting their expectations.

    Yesterday my boss came into my office and said,” Matt (my bosses boss) and I were talking about your work earlier this week (I take a huge breath to get ready) and we just want you to know how great you are. You are learning this difficult material so much faster than we expected and we just want you to know that we’re really impressed. I know that when I review your work and catch your errors that it causes you anxiety, I can see that. The errors you are making are errors we expect you to make, you’ve been here for 9 months.”

    Huge sigh of relief. Just a reminder to pat your people on the back once in a while. Tell your people they’re doing a great job when they’re doing a great job. You might never know how much it means to the person. I know I slept better last night.

    • AEK

      “The errors you are making are errors we expect you to make.”

      Wow— this is a revelation. Perfect feedback: it points out the mistakes so you can learn how to do things right, while clarifying that making the error is consistent with the level of skill and experience you currently have, so you don’t waste time self-flagellating. This is the kind of feedback that I would have loved as a junior lawyer (to the extent it was true, of course). I am stealing this line for future use!

  18. Color Confused

    long time lurker coming out for a little hive wisdom. Navy or black as a base? I’ve recently started a new job and I am the only woman on the executive team. I’m also the youngest and starting a department from scratch (financial services compliance). I’m in Silicon Valley so business casual but I don’t want to look either (a) to junior or (b) like the support staff. I’m in my early 40s but look younger. I have a lot of navy in my closet but somehow black seems easier and more professional. Pants, pumps, pencil skirts and button downs. The men executives seem to wear nice pants and button downs with good shoes. Thoughts?

    • Dulcinea

      As I said upthread, personally I think navy is more flattering on most people because of the subtle brightness it adds, especially near your face. I also think it looks somehow “fresher” or more interesting with other colors than black does.

      • SAlit-a-gator

        I co-sign Dulcinea. Navy is such a versatile neutral. Don’t doubt yourself. If you want to appear more professional and polished, invest in a good watch or a good structured purse. Something you’ll wear with every outfit that can pull the whole look together. Good luck!

    • hoola hoopa

      I also prefer navy over black because it looks better with my complexion, but you should go with whatever feels most natural and complementary to you. I wouldn’t say either is more professional than the other. The tailoring and quality is more important, IMO.

    • Bonnie

      I think black is easier and have a hard time pairing navy with tights in the winter.

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